All language subtitles for Stuck.In.The.Middle.S02E12.1080p.DSNP.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264.DUAL-C76_Legendas03.ENG

"PSA."
"PSA." I put it on here,

I just have
no idea what it means.

Pedicure
Saturday afternoon?

No, that would just be setting
myself up for disappointment.

Pick shiny automobile?

Are we getting
a new car?

Really? There's even less
chance of that

than me getting
a pedicure.

PSA.

Pat Sajak arrives.

No way. I sent
that letter four years ago.

I got it.

Stop being annoying.

- Those aren't
the right letters.
- I know.

If it were up to me,

we wouldn't be
having this problem.

I would've taken
this activity board
digital years ago.

With a high-tech interface,

real-time scheduling for
every member of the family,

and the ability to delete
toilet scrubbing.

Instead, my mom erases
things with spit on a tissue.

Sometimes I even wonder
how this came from that.

Oh, no, now I remember.

- Public service announcement.
- What with a capital huh?

Remember we saw that commercial
about visiting the elderly?

BOTH: Awww!

HARLEY: That's so sweet.

She gave her
her luffy.

Those old people need us.

We should
be helping, too.

Mm-hmm.

We signed up
to volunteer Saturday

at the retirement
community.

I'd like to help old people,
but not today.

What about next week?
They'll be even older,

so it'll be that much nicer
to help them by them.

You think I wanna
spend my Saturday

cutting up food
for cranky people?

I can do that right here,
but we made a commitment.

Fine.

But next time, we fast forward
through the commercials.

Georgie, Ethan,
you're on laundry duty.

You're breaking up, Mom.

Hey, Mom, can I
borrow 20 for the mall?

The good news is,
you can have your 20.

The bad news is,
you're babysitting Daphne,

and the worst news is,
I only have a ten.

Not fair. I hate
taking her to the mall.

I hate when she
takes me to the mall.

Then it's totally fair.
No one's happy.

Besides, about time you did
more to help out around here.

Otherwise, having seven
kids was a total waste.

I mean for chores.
You're each
a gift from heaven.

Was that last part
an afterthought?

I felt it was
an afterthought.

Let's be honest.
Half of us were
an afterthought.

Speak for yourself.

I know going to
Golden Horizons

is a sacrifice,
but it's for the seniors.

Oh, but before we go,
I have the SWTO.

I just added that.

Start writing
things out.

♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey ♪

♪ Sometimes it feels like
things are outta control ♪

♪ Like you're living in
a circus ♪

♪ Tryin' to figure out
your way in the world ♪

♪ Where you're at
is kinda perfect ♪

♪ So turn it up,
turn it up ♪

♪ Do your thing,
don't stop ♪

♪ Let the games begin,
let's jump right in ♪

♪ I wanna get
stuck with you ♪

♪ In the middle
of the party ♪

♪ We're just
getting started ♪

♪ I wanna get
stuck with you ♪

♪ In the eye of the tornado,
rowin' in the same boat ♪

♪ I wanna get
stuck with you ♪

♪ Get stuck in
the middle with you ♪

♪ I wanna get
stuck with you ♪

Hello.

(loudly)
Excuse me.

Is this
Golden Horizons?

Poor thing. Doesn't even
know we're talking to him.

Harley, it's gonna be
a sacrifice,

but it's for
the seniors.

- Whoa!
- Sorry.

I thought you might
be chilly.

No, I wasn't chilly.
I was chillin'

before racquetball.

Listenin' to the Beebs.

Yeah, the kid's really
turned it around.

It's the good part.

That is not
what I expected.

And this is not
what I expected.

Hi, I'm Kelly.
Welcome to Golden Horizons.

You must be
the Diazes.

Yes, we're so happy
to be giving our time.

By the way, it took us
ten minutes to park.

- Does that count towards
our volunteer hours?
- No, but we validate.

And I get it.
Most people think

volunteering is just
cutting up food for
cranky old people.

Oh, so the cranky old people
cut up their own food?

Actually, our residents
are very active.

No kidding.
Softball, beach day,

pottery class.
What, no foot massages?

Spa day Tuesday.

Harley, when it comes time
for me and your dad

to go to Golden Horizons,
and you can only afford one,

I call dibs.

I'm not sure
what you need us for.

From what I'm seeing,
the residents should be
volunteering at our house.

You provide interaction
with young people.

That's so important.

They love when you
take a class,
or just visit.

Oh, you should start
with Mr. Kibbenshaw.

Do you play
racquetball, too?

Racquetball?

I didn't work my butt off
for 50 years

to chase a ball around
like a golden retriever.

Everything here is
go, do, and move,

so my children don't feel bad
about not visiting me.

(nervous chuckle)
Every rose must have
its thorn.

Hey, Kelly.

Hey, you want me to drop 'em
by the swing dance class?

They can meet
the rest of the gang.

As long as you don't
make 'em late for

the food from around
the world buffet.

It's true what they say.

Volunteering does
make you feel good.

Sometimes I wish
Mom and Dad had
an extra kid.

One just in charge
of laundry.

I think we are
those extra kids.

There's no way
I'm touching Beast's
dirty underwear.

Because when he says
they're dirty,

you better believe him.

Well, I'm not touching
Dad's work shirts.

Man sweat and minnows?

Not a winning combination.

Mm-mm. You think
anyone would notice

if we just buried
all this in the backyard?

You really want these clothes
seeping into the groundwater?

I don't wanna go
to the mall.

It makes my tummy hurt.

I don't wanna go
to the discount store.

It makes my tummy hurt.

Please. That's straight
from my playbook.

You got 20 minutes
to dominate all
the jungle gym-ers,

so enjoy it.

Twenty minutes?

Deathnee likes to know
her victims first.

Everyone off the monkey bars
right now!

I've got limited time here.

Did you hear me?

Move it or lose it.

Watching kids
is exhausting.

Totally.

And I barely
get paid for it.

Right? Nobody recognizes
how hard it is

to be a nanny.
That's why I formed a group.

- Oh, I'm not--
- Nannies For Nannies.

We take turns watching
each other's kids

while the rest of us
go to the mall. Interested?

Count me in.

Us nannies have to
stick together.

Nanny strong.

One question.
Exactly how long
can I leave her?

All day if you want.

You just have to babysit
every fifth time.

I like those odds.

Anything we should know?
Asthma, allergies?

Oh, there's a lipstick
that kinda makes my face...

You're talking about her.

Nah, she'll outlive us all.

I'm going to need
five more minutes.

I'm about to expand
my territory to
the ladybug on the swing.

What if I said I found
a way for you to stay
at the park

while I go to the mall?

I'd say there's hope
for you yet.

Gotta give it
to you, Mom.

You're a mean
paintball player.

Hey, you might've had
a shot at me

if Larry hadn't
provided cover.

To be honest,
I didn't think

you'd shoot a senior
citizen in the back.

Only because it felt wrong
to shoot you in the face.

That's wrong?

Oh, I better go apologize
to Matilda.

Hello, Diazes.

I hope you're enjoying
your day with us.

Are you kidding?

A swing class, paintball,
now an international buffet.

Do you guys do takeout?
I didn't plan dinner.

It sounds like we'll
be seeing you next Saturday.

Wait, it's over?

It's only been...
wow, six hours.

I can't believe my mom and I
had so much fun together.

The last time I had her
to myself for six hours

was when we both had
sinus infections.

Way too much of our conversation
was about the color of our snot.

Unless you wanna
come back earlier.

Is tomorrow too soon?
What time are you guys open?

I don't know, we don't
wanna overstay our welcome.

You already have.

But Mom, tomorrow is
ice cream sundae Sunday.

Well, what kind of volunteers
would we be

if we let these people
split their own bananas?

Tomorrow it is.

Uh, guys.

What happened here?

Or more importantly,
what didn't happen?

We did half of it.
The "never touched
a butt" half.

Aw, you left
the stinky butt stuff for me?

You shouldn't have.

Well, there goes
my day tomorrow.

But Mom, we're supposed to go
back to Golden Horizons

on Sunday.

They'll go bananas
if we're not there.

Harley, I really think
we're being selfish.

Heads up. If you're
going to scam your siblings,

don't partner up
with your mom.

Well, your mom maybe.

But mine,
definitely not.

There go
our golden horizons.

Why should we keep
the joy of volunteering
to ourselves?

We'll stay home tomorrow,

and let Ethan and Georgie
tend to the elderly.

You better bring
a change of clothes.

You're gonna get
really dirty.

Dirty?
How many bedpans
are you scrubbing?

I'd rather not say.

We wouldn't wanna rob you
of the satisfaction

of giving back to
those who need it most.

Yeah, what kind of people
would we be?

Bad ones.
That's who.

We'll finish
the laundry tomorrow.

Have fun.

Whoa! Did you see that?

I had no idea
she had those kind of moves.

Wow, I never thought my mom
would be my partner in crime.

I also never thought
I would say the phrase

"Eat paint, old man!"

Volunteering really
broadens your horizons.

Ready to do
some volunteering?

It'll be a sacrifice,
but it's for the seniors.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

This whole volunteering thing
really has paid off.

I know. We even got to go
to the butterfly sanctuary,

and our family's
banned from there.

I meant you and me.

I'm usually so busy
keeping the Diaz train
on the tracks,

I barely get to spend
any time at Harley's station.

To us.

To us...
giving back.

Cheers.

Now remember, I'm
your nanny while you're here.

Stop speaking to me
like a child.

I can play pretend.

Hi, Rachel.
Hey, Daphne.

Thanks for hangin' out
with us today.

- You must really
love your nanny.
- Almost like a sister.

I'm off to the mall,

but you're in
good hands with Natalie.

Um, Nanny.

My shoe's untied.

You can tie
your own shoe.

But I need my nanny
to do it.

Oh.

And here's my gum.

I want to save it
for later.

Wow, she's a piece of work.

I'd love to see
the family she came from.

Oh, they're all crazy.

After their first kid,
everything went downhill.

ETHAN: That's everything.

Call Mom
and tell her we're done.

And don't tell her about
the things we put back dirty.

(ringtone chimes)

Hello.

Hey, Mom,
we're done with laundry.

No ifs, ands, and all the butts
we didn't do the first time.

Anyway, when are you
coming home?

Could be a while.

We're in the middle of
toenail clipping here.

Look, you've worked hard.
Why don't you guys relax,

rent a movie.

You've been working
your fingers to the bone.

So enjoy.
Nothing over 5.99. Bye.

Genius.

Not to sound braggy,
but I couldn't have
done better myself.

Hate to tell you, kid.

It's not my first time
at the rodeo.

Oh, speaking of which,
we should sign up for
that trip to the rodeo.

Totally.

I'd say order
a horror flick,

but after that laundry pile,
I don't think anything
could scare me.

Finally.

GEORGIE:
That's adorable.

Aw, she gave her
her luffy.

We can't just sit here
watching movies

while Mom and Harley
are changing lives.

This feels so good.

Oh, push harder, Felicia.

Don't be afraid
to bring the heat.

You people still here?

Can't you just let me
get old without trying
to make it a happy experience?

Even Mr. Kibbenshaw
can't kill this vibe.

(laughs)
Nope.

Wow, you're right.

Volunteering
is hard work.

Guys, great.
You came down.

We were just...

Just...

Uh, just trying out
these new face bibs.

Face bibs?

For feeding
the elderly.

Through here.

They call it
anti-dribble feeding.

Very technical.

Don't try and pull
the face bib over our eyes.

You were getting
massages.

In all fairness,

we offered you the chance
to volunteer.

In all fairness,

you neglected to mention...
everything.

You guys are
living the life.

At a retirement home,
but still.

We want in.

You're right.

We shouldn't have
kept this to ourselves.

Go check in with Kelly.

I'm sure they would love
two more volunteers.

Well, that was fun
while it lasted.

Should've known the Diaz Duo
would come to an end.

- The what?
- Diaz Duo.

It's our sneaky
crime team name.

I was gonna make T-shirts
that say that tomorrow,

but guess there's
no point now.

You know what?

The Diaz Duo
doesn't have to
call it quits.

Georgie and Ethan left
that pile of laundry
for me yesterday.

Maybe they deserve
a little payback.

Imagine if Georgie
had to spend the afternoon

with Mr. Kibbenshaw.

So... tell me
a little bit
about yourself.

Well, I don't like
friendly people.

And I don't like
nosy people asking
me questions about myself.

And think about how Ethan's
music will go over here.

Any requests?

Anyone?

Yeah, I got one.
Take a lesson!

And believe me,

they'll be outta here
in no time.

Am I going too far?

It is kind of sneaky.

I've never felt closer
to you than I do right now!

Hey, Nat,
here's my little angel.
See you at 5:00.

Wait up. It's your turn
to watch the kids today.

What? No, it's not my turn
for a couple of weeks,

when I was probably
gonna be sick.

Yeah, sorry, Carla got
a tell-all book deal

about her family
and quit.

Newbies get
subbed in first.

Here's my little angel.
See you at 5:00.

Please don't.
Don't leave me here.

These shoes aren't meant
to walk on grass.

So what's the plan, Nanny?

King me.

Your family
is just the best.

Throwing Mr. Kibbenshaw
a birthday party this afternoon,

that's huge.

- A party?
- Us? How?

Georgie said you would.

But you have to have
a birthday party.

It's not every day
someone turns 80.

My family will
throw you one.

I hate birthday parties.

Well...

you know those kids
you're always complaining about?

It would make them have to
drive all the way out here.

Making my kids suffer?

You know how to
sweet talk me.

And if you really
want to torture them,

I'll even get my brother
to play guitar.

He's right there.

Darn Georgie
and her big heart.

Now it is Mr. Kibbenshaw's
80th birthday,

so it needs to be
really special.

Entertainment,
a fancy cake,
lunch for 20,

taking into consideration
all of our residents'
dietary needs.

Glad I don't have to do it.

You know what?
I'm thinking...

he is such a grump.

Maybe he wouldn't want
a big to-do.

Yeah, Mr. Kibbenshaw
totally seems like

a less-is-more
kind of guy.

Like way less.
Like maybe just a card.

You know, for people
who have been here so much,

you'd think you'd want to
go the extra mile

for our residents.
Now if you don't,

there are other places where
you don't have to give so much.

Or get so much.

Or we could throw him
a huge party at the park.

That'd be great.

Mr. Kibbenshaw hasn't
been outside

since someone accidentally
pulled the fire alarm.

Stripey shirt,
get back here!

Kid who took my shoe,
give me back my shoe!

Okay, everybody,
we're gonna play a game.

It's called run.

Whoever runs to the end
of the park and back first wins.

Run! Run until
your tiny legs give out.

"Happy birthday,
Keanu."

Keanu Kibbenshaw.

Would not have
guessed that.

I've never been
a big fan of your family,

but I hate this
less than I thought I would.

If that's a compliment,
we'll take it.

Look at us.

We volunteered here
because we wanted
to make a difference,

and we just did.

Because of our family,

Mr. Kibbenshaw got
a wonderful party.

Yeah, it feels good.

Yeah.

- Rachel!
- Cake!

(chuckling)

Mr. Kibbenshaw?

I'm really sorry
this happened.

I thought you'd be mad.

Mad?

I have never laughed
so hard in my life.

Watching your faces

when y'all wiped out that cake
and ruined my party.

(laughing)

That's a memory
I'll never forget.

When it comes to
spoiling parties,

that's when my family
really shines.

I've got an idea for
next week's activity.

How to remove
common stains,

like, say, frosting.

I don't think we'll be
needing your family next week.

We're gonna switch
our volunteer program

to something
a little easier.

Therapy dogs.

You are so grounded.

Let's think about this.

If you hadn't volunteered,

I wouldn't have
had to babysit.

So in a way,
this is your fault.

You're right.
You're off the hook.

- Really?
- No.

I just wanted you to see
what it felt like

when someone says
crazy things to you.

I can't believe we've
been replaced by dogs.

Yeah, that's insulting.

We threw a bad party.
No one had to pick up
our poop.

We've had a fun
few days.

We did a lot of
cool stuff together.

Yeah, we had a good run.

Oh, well, looks like
that's the end of us

making bad pottery
and good cupcakes.

Doesn't have to be.

We can bake cupcakes
right here.

- Just the Diaz Duo.
- Really?

Yeah. It's not like
we don't have a kitchen.

Oh, that's what's under
all the dirty dishes.

Not for long.

Rachel needs a punishment.

No reason why we can't
make that work to our advantage.

Wow. When one scheme
goes down,

she jumps
right into the next.

I guess Mom and I are a lot
more alike than I thought.

Working the angles,
taking big swings.

You want the slice
with the footprints
or the grass?

And not afraid
to get dirty.

Doesn't matter.
I'm gonna eat around
it either way.

Wow, you guys
are a mess.

Yep, you two are gonna have
a lot more laundry to do.

- What?!
- Us?!

Yeah. If you're gonna
put clothes back dirty,

rub 'em with
a dryer sheet first,

like I do.

(groans)

And that takes care
of Ethan and Georgie.

Mmm. Good.