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1
00:00:02,875 --> 00:00:06,374
I can't believe
"Man Versus Dumpster"
has its own after-show.
2
00:00:06,375 --> 00:00:08,957
Oh, yeah.
Talking trash is the best.
3
00:00:08,958 --> 00:00:11,207
How else would be know
how sick Dumpster Jack got
4
00:00:11,208 --> 00:00:12,999
from drinking
that expired egg nog?
5
00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:15,083
Spoiler alert: Very.
6
00:00:16,875 --> 00:00:19,415
Dude, the least
you can do is ask.
7
00:00:19,416 --> 00:00:21,457
Actually, he can't.
8
00:00:21,458 --> 00:00:23,624
We said the same word
at the same time
9
00:00:23,625 --> 00:00:25,082
and I called "jinx,"
10
00:00:25,083 --> 00:00:28,290
so now he can't talk
until I say his name.
11
00:00:28,291 --> 00:00:29,707
What if he talks anyway?
12
00:00:29,708 --> 00:00:32,082
He has to wear my undies
on his head.
13
00:00:32,083 --> 00:00:34,957
Classic game,
classic punishment.
14
00:00:34,958 --> 00:00:37,165
And these are F-O-T-B...
15
00:00:37,166 --> 00:00:38,457
(sniffs)
16
00:00:38,458 --> 00:00:40,457
Fresh Off The Butt.
17
00:00:40,458 --> 00:00:43,499
Guys, get ready for
a blast from the past.
18
00:00:43,500 --> 00:00:46,999
Oh, no. More videos
of your old football games.
19
00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:49,207
That is not
what this is.
20
00:00:49,208 --> 00:00:51,999
But if there's time
we can watch my incredible
62-yard touchdown pass--
21
00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:54,332
Let's scatter!
Wait! You're gonna like this.
22
00:00:54,333 --> 00:00:55,999
This is the commercial I made
for the Bait & Bite.
23
00:00:56,000 --> 00:00:57,582
I just bought
a whole bunch of TV time
24
00:00:57,583 --> 00:00:58,999
so I can start
running it again.
25
00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:00,624
I didn't know
you made a commercial.
26
00:01:00,625 --> 00:01:01,999
Eleven years ago.
27
00:01:02,000 --> 00:01:03,208
But it holds up great.
28
00:01:06,875 --> 00:01:08,999
Arrr, mateys!
29
00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:11,165
Come on down
to the Bait & Bite
30
00:01:11,166 --> 00:01:14,207
for all yer sea-farin' needs.
31
00:01:14,208 --> 00:01:15,957
Even for the wee ones.
32
00:01:15,958 --> 00:01:16,832
Arr.
33
00:01:16,833 --> 00:01:18,832
(sniffing)
Ooh!
34
00:01:18,833 --> 00:01:21,999
Harley, that does not
smell like wee!
35
00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:24,415
Ohhh! Shiver me timbers!
36
00:01:24,416 --> 00:01:26,999
But you know what
doesn't stink?
37
00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:27,999
Our deals!
38
00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:30,999
Ha ha!
Arrr!
39
00:01:31,000 --> 00:01:32,874
TOM: Adorable, right?
Ooh, hang on guys.
40
00:01:32,875 --> 00:01:33,875
Your mom's gonna
want to see this.
41
00:01:35,583 --> 00:01:38,707
Could that be more embarrassing?
42
00:01:38,708 --> 00:01:41,999
Yeah. Talk about
amateur filmmaking.
43
00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:44,999
I mean, it had no look,
no point of view,
44
00:01:45,000 --> 00:01:47,957
the director
didn't know rack focus
from a wardrobe rack,
45
00:01:47,958 --> 00:01:49,999
which, by the way,
you could see in the background.
46
00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:51,124
That's not what I meant.
47
00:01:51,125 --> 00:01:52,582
You pooped your pants.
48
00:01:52,583 --> 00:01:53,707
That's what I meant.
49
00:01:53,708 --> 00:01:54,999
Harley's "Doody" Diaz!
50
00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:57,499
Ha! You talked.
51
00:01:57,500 --> 00:01:58,957
Worth it.
52
00:01:58,958 --> 00:02:01,457
"Doody" Diaz.
That name could stick.
53
00:02:01,458 --> 00:02:03,999
He's right.
Once you get a nickname,
54
00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:05,707
it's hard to get rid of it.
55
00:02:05,708 --> 00:02:07,207
Ask "Booger" Bruce.
56
00:02:07,208 --> 00:02:09,499
He picked his nose once
in second grade,
57
00:02:09,500 --> 00:02:10,707
and that's it.
58
00:02:10,708 --> 00:02:12,082
And truthfully,
59
00:02:12,083 --> 00:02:14,749
I think it was more
of an itch than a pick.
60
00:02:14,750 --> 00:02:16,082
This could be bad.
61
00:02:16,083 --> 00:02:18,624
MAN: And now,
your valedictorian,
62
00:02:18,625 --> 00:02:20,124
"Doody" Diaz.
63
00:02:20,125 --> 00:02:22,082
If that commercial airs,
64
00:02:22,083 --> 00:02:24,999
it'll follow me around
for the rest of my life!
65
00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:27,415
Your name's Heinie Head.
66
00:02:27,416 --> 00:02:28,832
Better than "Doody" Diaz.
67
00:02:28,833 --> 00:02:31,708
(laughter)
♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey ♪
68
00:02:35,458 --> 00:02:39,332
♪ Sometimes it feels like
things are outta control ♪
69
00:02:39,333 --> 00:02:42,874
♪ Like you're living
in a circus ♪
70
00:02:42,875 --> 00:02:46,707
♪ Tryin' to figure out
your way in the world ♪
71
00:02:46,708 --> 00:02:49,624
♪ Where you're at
is kinda perfect ♪
72
00:02:49,625 --> 00:02:51,290
♪ So turn it up,
turn it up ♪
73
00:02:51,291 --> 00:02:53,582
{\an8}♪ Do your thing,
don't stop ♪
74
00:02:53,583 --> 00:02:55,874
{\an8}♪ Let the games begin,
let's jump right in ♪
75
00:02:55,875 --> 00:02:59,874
♪ I wanna get
stuck with you ♪
76
00:02:59,875 --> 00:03:01,999
♪ In the middle
of the party ♪
77
00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:03,957
♪ We're just
getting started ♪
78
00:03:03,958 --> 00:03:07,124
♪ I wanna get
stuck with you ♪
79
00:03:07,125 --> 00:03:11,332
♪ In the eye of the tornado,
rowin' in the same boat ♪
80
00:03:11,333 --> 00:03:14,999
♪ I wanna get
stuck with you ♪
81
00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:18,499
♪ Get stuck in
the middle with you ♪
82
00:03:18,500 --> 00:03:20,458
♪ I wanna get
stuck with you ♪
83
00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:24,082
Arr!
Arrr!
84
00:03:24,083 --> 00:03:25,832
{\an8}I look terrible
in this commercial.
85
00:03:25,833 --> 00:03:27,957
{\an8}But in my defense,
not even Lady Gaga
86
00:03:27,958 --> 00:03:29,707
{\an8}could pull off an eye patch
and a bandana.
87
00:03:29,708 --> 00:03:31,999
{\an8}You're worried
about how you look?
88
00:03:32,000 --> 00:03:33,999
{\an8}I pooped my diaper!
89
00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:35,499
{\an8}Harls, you were two.
90
00:03:35,500 --> 00:03:37,749
{\an8}Yeah, but kids at school
are going to see this now.
91
00:03:37,750 --> 00:03:39,249
{\an8}I think they know
you poop.
92
00:03:39,250 --> 00:03:40,957
{\an8}They don't need
to see me poop.
93
00:03:40,958 --> 00:03:42,999
{\an8}You can't run
that commercial.
94
00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:44,582
{\an8}I'll be humiliated.
95
00:03:44,583 --> 00:03:46,624
{\an8}Wow, Harls, I didn't know
you'd feel this way.
96
00:03:46,625 --> 00:03:48,624
{\an8}It's just with
Rod's Reel & Deal
slashing prices,
97
00:03:48,625 --> 00:03:50,999
{\an8}I've gotta do everything I can
to keep up.
98
00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:53,457
{\an8}But if it means that much,
I won't run it.
99
00:03:53,458 --> 00:03:54,874
Thanks, Dad.
100
00:03:54,875 --> 00:03:56,332
I feel bad, though.
101
00:03:56,333 --> 00:03:57,999
You'll still get
your money back, right?
102
00:03:58,000 --> 00:04:01,165
{\an8}Oh, yeah, Rod's Reel & Deal
will snap that ad time right up.
103
00:04:01,166 --> 00:04:02,999
It's a prime fisherman slot.
104
00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:04,707
But they're slashing prices!
105
00:04:04,708 --> 00:04:06,999
I don't want you to lose
business because of me.
106
00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:10,249
Hey, what if you make
a whole new commercial?
107
00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:12,958
We've got a filmmaker
right here in the family. Ethan.
108
00:04:15,875 --> 00:04:17,707
Okay, you see those looks?
109
00:04:17,708 --> 00:04:19,082
Those are the looks of people
110
00:04:19,083 --> 00:04:20,957
who know Ethan
doesn't finish stuff.
111
00:04:20,958 --> 00:04:22,249
Don't get me wrong.
112
00:04:22,250 --> 00:04:24,082
He starts off with
lots of enthusiasm...
113
00:04:24,083 --> 00:04:25,707
Suit up!
114
00:04:25,708 --> 00:04:27,874
This is gonna be
the greatst sci-fi epic ever!
115
00:04:27,875 --> 00:04:30,874
But the minute
he hits a speed bump...
116
00:04:30,875 --> 00:04:34,874
We are not wrapping the Martian
in wax paper, people.
117
00:04:34,875 --> 00:04:36,707
I quit.
...that happens.
118
00:04:36,708 --> 00:04:37,999
Can someone unfoil me?
119
00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:39,749
I'm pretty sure
the part near my nose
120
00:04:39,750 --> 00:04:41,582
was wrapped around
a tuna sandwich.
121
00:04:41,583 --> 00:04:43,582
Ethan's like me on laundry day--
122
00:04:43,583 --> 00:04:45,415
he starts strong,
but then ten minutes later
123
00:04:45,416 --> 00:04:46,874
he's hving tea
and watching Judge Judy.
124
00:04:46,875 --> 00:04:48,874
I know he's given up
in the past,
125
00:04:48,875 --> 00:04:50,457
but he can do this.
126
00:04:50,458 --> 00:04:53,582
I believe in him
a hundred percent.
127
00:04:53,583 --> 00:04:55,290
Okay, you see this look?
128
00:04:55,291 --> 00:04:57,582
This is the look of somebody
who said a bunch of stuff
129
00:04:57,583 --> 00:04:59,332
she might not believe
but is really,
130
00:04:59,333 --> 00:05:00,874
really hoping is true.
131
00:05:00,875 --> 00:05:03,707
Pay close attention--
you might see it again.
132
00:05:03,708 --> 00:05:05,749
The ad's supposed to run
in two days.
133
00:05:05,750 --> 00:05:06,957
We don't have much time.
134
00:05:06,958 --> 00:05:08,415
I promise.
135
00:05:08,416 --> 00:05:09,957
If Ethan doesn't make
a better commercial,
136
00:05:09,958 --> 00:05:11,415
you can air the old one.
137
00:05:11,416 --> 00:05:13,374
No matter what,
138
00:05:13,375 --> 00:05:16,290
There will be an ad
for the Bait & Bite
on TV this Friday.
139
00:05:16,291 --> 00:05:17,500
That would be great.
140
00:05:18,833 --> 00:05:20,457
There's that look again.
141
00:05:20,458 --> 00:05:22,958
Didn't think you'd
see it so soon, did you?
142
00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:27,082
I could really use some tea.
143
00:05:27,083 --> 00:05:30,874
Ooh! I wonder who Judge Judy
is yelling at today.
144
00:05:30,875 --> 00:05:34,457
Mom, I'd like you to meet
Coach Wood's service bird Leo.
145
00:05:34,458 --> 00:05:35,957
With all our team's losses,
146
00:05:35,958 --> 00:05:37,332
she needed
the emotional support.
147
00:05:37,333 --> 00:05:38,999
That coach is a kook.
148
00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:40,124
LEO: Coach is a kook.
Mom!
149
00:05:40,125 --> 00:05:41,957
Watch what you say!
150
00:05:41,958 --> 00:05:43,415
Coach trusted me with him
while she's out of town.
151
00:05:43,416 --> 00:05:45,457
If she hears him
saying stuff like this,
152
00:05:45,458 --> 00:05:46,999
she'll know
where he learned it.
153
00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:49,290
She'll think the Diazes are...
Who we are?
154
00:05:49,291 --> 00:05:52,832
Exactly. I need her to think
the Diazes are kind,
humble people.
155
00:05:52,833 --> 00:05:55,582
Got an A in history.
Check it, losers.
156
00:05:55,583 --> 00:05:57,582
LEO: Check it, losers!
Leo, no!
157
00:05:57,583 --> 00:05:59,874
This family is a mine field.
158
00:05:59,875 --> 00:06:03,874
Great job, honey.
I'm so proud of you.
159
00:06:03,875 --> 00:06:05,707
Yeah, it felt pretty good.
160
00:06:05,708 --> 00:06:07,124
but mostly because
you promised me
161
00:06:07,125 --> 00:06:08,999
two tickets to Adele
if I got an A.
162
00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:10,999
It's funny what a little
motivation'll do.
163
00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:13,957
Okay, putting "buy tickets"
on my to-do list.
164
00:06:13,958 --> 00:06:16,999
Hello?
Oh, I'm sure
she'll sing that song.
165
00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:18,999
No, I mean, tickets
go on sale tomorrow
166
00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:20,957
and Adele sells out
in minutes.
167
00:06:20,958 --> 00:06:23,415
We'll need, like,
six different devices
going at once.
168
00:06:23,416 --> 00:06:25,082
It sounds like
a lot of work.
169
00:06:25,083 --> 00:06:26,707
I'll just call one of those
ticket broker places.
170
00:06:26,708 --> 00:06:27,999
We need to get them ourselves.
171
00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:30,290
Brokers add huge fees.
172
00:06:30,291 --> 00:06:32,165
We'll end up paying
500 per ticket
173
00:06:32,166 --> 00:06:34,082
to sit in the last row,
174
00:06:34,083 --> 00:06:36,207
and I did not learn
the chief imports of Belgium
175
00:06:36,208 --> 00:06:37,624
to sit in the last row.
176
00:06:37,625 --> 00:06:39,499
Five hundred per ticket?
177
00:06:39,500 --> 00:06:40,999
We have to buy them ourselves.
178
00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:42,582
Okay, we need every laptop,
phone, computer,
179
00:06:42,583 --> 00:06:44,624
everything ready to go
the second the sale starts.
180
00:06:44,625 --> 00:06:46,875
Funny what a little
motivation will do.
181
00:06:51,750 --> 00:06:54,207
Just so you know,
you have those on wrong.
182
00:06:54,208 --> 00:06:56,957
This is because
I lost that jinx.
183
00:06:56,958 --> 00:06:58,582
I want in.
184
00:06:58,583 --> 00:07:00,874
You really want a shot
at having those on your head?
185
00:07:00,875 --> 00:07:03,290
Won't matter, 'cause
I'm not going to lose.
186
00:07:03,291 --> 00:07:05,582
To be young and cocky again.
187
00:07:05,583 --> 00:07:07,874
This is not a game
for the faint of heart.
188
00:07:07,875 --> 00:07:09,999
Yeah, we're experts at jinx.
189
00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:12,125
Said the guy
with undies on his head.
190
00:07:13,708 --> 00:07:15,875
We are taking her down.
191
00:07:18,958 --> 00:07:20,874
Sorry, it's really hard
to take you seriously
192
00:07:20,875 --> 00:07:22,833
when you're wearing
an underwear hat.
193
00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:26,832
You know how you're always
dreaming about getting
194
00:07:26,833 --> 00:07:28,415
your big break
as a filmmaker?
195
00:07:28,416 --> 00:07:29,999
Well, I just got it for you.
196
00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:31,999
You're going to
shoot a commercial
for Dad's store.
197
00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:34,249
Awesome!
198
00:07:34,250 --> 00:07:36,124
This commercial
will put you in the bigs.
199
00:07:36,125 --> 00:07:37,874
It'll be on TV!
200
00:07:37,875 --> 00:07:39,832
Hey, maybe I can find a way
to finally pull off
201
00:07:39,833 --> 00:07:41,624
my signature camera move.
202
00:07:41,625 --> 00:07:43,290
All great directors have one.
203
00:07:43,291 --> 00:07:45,874
I've always wanted
to finish with a boom.
204
00:07:45,875 --> 00:07:49,374
Love the ambition,
not sure Dad wants us
using explosives.
205
00:07:49,375 --> 00:07:51,082
No, a boom shot.
206
00:07:51,083 --> 00:07:52,874
That's when the camera lifts up
207
00:07:52,875 --> 00:07:54,249
and the frame goes wide
208
00:07:54,250 --> 00:07:55,957
and the story comes together.
209
00:07:55,958 --> 00:07:57,582
And that's when you know
210
00:07:57,583 --> 00:07:59,999
you've been movied
by Ethan Diaz.
211
00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:01,957
I'm the queen
of boom on a budget.
212
00:08:01,958 --> 00:08:04,207
I can totally make you
a rig for your camera.
213
00:08:04,208 --> 00:08:08,083
Wow. You really don't want to
be known as Doody Diaz, do you?
214
00:08:09,875 --> 00:08:12,290
Well, if I start
my storyboard tonight,
215
00:08:12,291 --> 00:08:13,832
I could have it done
in three weeks.
216
00:08:13,833 --> 00:08:14,749
You have two days total.
217
00:08:14,750 --> 00:08:17,082
Storyboards are for wimps.
218
00:08:17,083 --> 00:08:19,124
It's all up here.
219
00:08:19,125 --> 00:08:20,707
Get ready.
220
00:08:20,708 --> 00:08:22,874
I'm about to direct
the best no-budget,
221
00:08:22,875 --> 00:08:26,999
no-time, boom-tastic
bait shop commercial ever made!
222
00:08:27,000 --> 00:08:28,999
Yeah!
223
00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:32,082
Boom-tastic. Can't say
if I love it or hate it,
224
00:08:32,083 --> 00:08:33,333
but it's definitely
not quitter talk.
225
00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:39,958
Oh, forget it.
226
00:08:44,875 --> 00:08:46,374
Hey hey,
227
00:08:46,375 --> 00:08:48,707
there's my lovely
and talented star.
228
00:08:48,708 --> 00:08:51,874
Stop kissing up.
I already agreed to do it.
229
00:08:51,875 --> 00:08:54,290
A great director
always flatters
the talent.
230
00:08:54,291 --> 00:08:56,957
That's a fun fact
I read on a movie screen.
231
00:08:56,958 --> 00:08:58,708
Anyway, you know your lines?
232
00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:04,082
The ocean is a cold
and dangerous place,
233
00:09:04,083 --> 00:09:06,957
but I'm here to save you money!
234
00:09:06,958 --> 00:09:09,457
Wow, Daphne's
a good little actress.
235
00:09:09,458 --> 00:09:12,290
She's gonna save us money.
236
00:09:12,291 --> 00:09:14,999
See what I did there?
Yeah.
237
00:09:15,000 --> 00:09:18,875
Was there any doubt
that I was gonna be the lead
in this thing?
238
00:09:21,458 --> 00:09:23,874
Looks like you've got
everything you need.
239
00:09:23,875 --> 00:09:26,832
Including a total diva star.
240
00:09:26,833 --> 00:09:28,999
So I'm gonna be outside
building your camera rig.
241
00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:30,415
Oh, great.
242
00:09:30,416 --> 00:09:31,999
'Cause that boom shot
243
00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:34,624
is gonna take this ad
to the next level.
244
00:09:34,625 --> 00:09:37,749
Any level where
I'm not wearing a diaper
is fine by me.
245
00:09:37,750 --> 00:09:38,832
Oh, before I forget.
246
00:09:38,833 --> 00:09:40,082
For good luck.
247
00:09:40,083 --> 00:09:41,874
Since when do lobsters
bring good luck?
248
00:09:41,875 --> 00:09:43,457
Are you kidding?
249
00:09:43,458 --> 00:09:45,999
They're the leprechauns
of the sea.
250
00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:49,415
Not that you need any luck.
I totally trust you.
251
00:09:49,416 --> 00:09:52,624
To maybe possibly quit
if things get difficult.
252
00:09:52,625 --> 00:09:55,999
So I wired an old baby monitor
into this lobster shell.
253
00:09:56,000 --> 00:09:58,707
That way, I can listen in
and help smooth out any problems
254
00:09:58,708 --> 00:10:00,415
before it gets to quitting time.
255
00:10:00,416 --> 00:10:01,999
Sure, I know it's sneaky,
256
00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:04,874
but I'd rather be nicknamed
"Shady" than "Doody."
257
00:10:04,875 --> 00:10:07,457
Making movies is my thing.
258
00:10:07,458 --> 00:10:08,999
I got this.
259
00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:10,582
Totally.
260
00:10:10,583 --> 00:10:12,999
I'm just gonna leave this
right here.
261
00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:15,625
Casually,
not in any specific spot.
262
00:10:19,708 --> 00:10:21,874
So, what are we gonna be doing?
263
00:10:21,875 --> 00:10:24,582
Nothing. Every time
I put you guys in my movies
264
00:10:24,583 --> 00:10:26,457
it's a disaster.
265
00:10:26,458 --> 00:10:28,874
I'm only using you
for the final group shot
of the whole family.
266
00:10:28,875 --> 00:10:31,124
You mean...
we don't have any lines?
267
00:10:31,125 --> 00:10:32,457
Yeah.
268
00:10:32,458 --> 00:10:35,124
Cool!
We can do high kicks!
269
00:10:35,125 --> 00:10:37,082
Yeah! Yeah! High--
270
00:10:37,083 --> 00:10:38,707
Guys, stop, stop,
stop, stop!
271
00:10:38,708 --> 00:10:39,999
Stay out of my way
and be quiet.
272
00:10:40,000 --> 00:10:42,082
Oh. Whatever.
273
00:10:42,083 --> 00:10:43,958
Good luck with
your kickless ad.
274
00:10:45,625 --> 00:10:47,457
LEO: Check it, losers.
275
00:10:47,458 --> 00:10:49,999
Stop saying that.
You misheard.
276
00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:51,582
No one here talks that way.
277
00:10:51,583 --> 00:10:53,457
Here's what we say...
278
00:10:53,458 --> 00:10:55,374
in the Diaz home.
279
00:10:55,375 --> 00:10:57,582
Okay.
280
00:10:57,583 --> 00:10:58,999
"Yes, please."
281
00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:00,707
"After you."
282
00:11:00,708 --> 00:11:03,457
"May I set the table, Mother?"
283
00:11:03,458 --> 00:11:06,290
Yeah, that's pushing it.
Coach'll never buy that.
284
00:11:06,291 --> 00:11:08,457
"Thank you.
Don't mind if I do."
285
00:11:08,458 --> 00:11:09,957
Don't mind if I do.
286
00:11:09,958 --> 00:11:11,874
That's it!
Should I read some more?
287
00:11:11,875 --> 00:11:13,207
May I set the table,
Mother?
288
00:11:13,208 --> 00:11:15,707
Huh. I actually buy that
coming from you.
289
00:11:15,708 --> 00:11:16,999
Way to nail it.
290
00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:19,582
Okay. Just like we rehearsed.
291
00:11:19,583 --> 00:11:22,083
Ready? And... action!
292
00:11:26,416 --> 00:11:28,958
Cut. What's going on?
293
00:11:31,458 --> 00:11:32,958
O-Okay. You lost me at...
294
00:11:35,250 --> 00:11:37,874
Make yourself useful
and get me a bagel.
295
00:11:37,875 --> 00:11:40,874
I'm the star. You guys
are just a couple of...
296
00:11:40,875 --> 00:11:42,374
ALL: Losers.
297
00:11:42,375 --> 00:11:43,874
Jinx!
298
00:11:43,875 --> 00:11:44,874
Are you serious?
299
00:11:44,875 --> 00:11:46,749
Unjinx her!
300
00:11:46,750 --> 00:11:48,707
I'd love to,
301
00:11:48,708 --> 00:11:50,874
but what was it
that you said?
302
00:11:50,875 --> 00:11:53,249
I should be quiet?
303
00:11:53,250 --> 00:11:56,124
Fine, I'll do it myself.
304
00:11:56,125 --> 00:11:58,415
Daphne.
305
00:11:58,416 --> 00:12:00,082
What are you doing?
306
00:12:00,083 --> 00:12:02,999
It only works if the person
who called jinx says it.
307
00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:05,082
Were you never a kid?
308
00:12:05,083 --> 00:12:07,290
ETHAN (over monitor): Guys,
I can't shoot this commercial
309
00:12:07,291 --> 00:12:09,249
if my lead can't speak.
310
00:12:09,250 --> 00:12:10,290
This is a problem.
311
00:12:10,291 --> 00:12:12,832
Problem? I'm on it.
312
00:12:12,833 --> 00:12:14,832
How's the ad going?
313
00:12:14,833 --> 00:12:18,707
Great. And not just great like
people say it and don't mean it,
314
00:12:18,708 --> 00:12:20,415
actual great.
Nice,
315
00:12:20,416 --> 00:12:22,832
because I am so excited
about this commercial
316
00:12:22,833 --> 00:12:24,999
I bought more air time--
during Judge Judy.
317
00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:26,582
Your mother
thinks I'm a god.
318
00:12:26,583 --> 00:12:27,707
It's gonna run
a million times.
319
00:12:27,708 --> 00:12:29,208
Great.
320
00:12:32,833 --> 00:12:34,999
Wait. I'm confused.
321
00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:37,457
Who's jinxed again?
322
00:12:37,458 --> 00:12:38,999
Don't think we're falling
for that one.
323
00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:41,082
Do you think we're dumb?
324
00:12:41,083 --> 00:12:42,999
Last week
you sucked on a rock
325
00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:44,749
when I told you
it had a marshmallow center.
326
00:12:44,750 --> 00:12:47,875
It doesn't? I was still
working on that.
327
00:12:49,458 --> 00:12:50,874
(thud)
HARLEY: Ow!
328
00:12:50,875 --> 00:12:52,082
What is this?
329
00:12:52,083 --> 00:12:54,165
Not candy.
Don't bother.
330
00:12:54,166 --> 00:12:56,374
Wait, you finished
the camera rig already?
331
00:12:56,375 --> 00:12:58,332
Uh, it's pretty close.
332
00:12:58,333 --> 00:13:01,499
So I heard somebody was jinxed.
Who was it again?
333
00:13:01,500 --> 00:13:04,582
We're not saying our name.
You guys are pathetic.
334
00:13:04,583 --> 00:13:07,291
How did you know
that Daphne was jinxed?
335
00:13:09,583 --> 00:13:11,874
You said so.
No I didn't.
336
00:13:11,875 --> 00:13:14,832
Do you want to sit here
and argue, or make an ad?
337
00:13:14,833 --> 00:13:16,832
Well, I'm kinda stuck.
338
00:13:16,833 --> 00:13:20,874
I mean, my star can't speak.
I need her.
339
00:13:20,875 --> 00:13:23,499
(mouthing words)
340
00:13:23,500 --> 00:13:26,290
Okay, okay,
you don't need to yell.
341
00:13:26,291 --> 00:13:29,290
You know, this ad's
getting to be a real bummer.
342
00:13:29,291 --> 00:13:31,874
Idea. Jump ahead
to Mom and Rachel's part
343
00:13:31,875 --> 00:13:33,457
and shoot Daphne later.
344
00:13:33,458 --> 00:13:35,124
I'll let you know
when she's unjinxed.
345
00:13:35,125 --> 00:13:36,707
That should work.
346
00:13:36,708 --> 00:13:38,457
Man, show business is tough.
347
00:13:38,458 --> 00:13:41,250
I wonder how Spielberg
gets his actors unjinxed?
348
00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:47,999
Okay, all of these are logged
into the ticket website
349
00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:50,124
and we have 21 minutes
before they go on sale.
350
00:13:50,125 --> 00:13:51,875
Let's practice speed refreshing.
Okay.
351
00:13:57,708 --> 00:13:59,957
(phone chimes)
352
00:13:59,958 --> 00:14:01,707
Hey, Ethan.
353
00:14:01,708 --> 00:14:03,999
Us? Now?
354
00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:06,332
Why?
355
00:14:06,333 --> 00:14:08,999
Well, to be fair,
that's how jinx works.
356
00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:11,124
Okay, fine.
357
00:14:11,125 --> 00:14:13,999
Pack it up. We're moving this
operation down to the store.
358
00:14:14,000 --> 00:14:15,957
What? But you promised
we'd get tickets!
359
00:14:15,958 --> 00:14:17,999
And I promised your brother
I'd do his commercial.
360
00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:19,874
I guess I'll do what I do
every day:
361
00:14:19,875 --> 00:14:22,124
spread myself too thin
and disappoint all my kids.
362
00:14:22,125 --> 00:14:23,291
Let's go.
363
00:14:24,875 --> 00:14:27,457
You can tie him up
and shave his head--
364
00:14:27,458 --> 00:14:29,707
he's not gonna say your name.
365
00:14:29,708 --> 00:14:31,332
Don't give her any ideas!
366
00:14:31,333 --> 00:14:32,957
Whatever you do,
367
00:14:32,958 --> 00:14:35,083
do it quietly.
368
00:14:36,958 --> 00:14:40,874
Guys, come on,
you're supposed to be
selling kayaks here.
369
00:14:40,875 --> 00:14:43,415
I have no bars!
I'm not getting through!
370
00:14:43,416 --> 00:14:45,207
Ow! Thumb cramp.
371
00:14:45,208 --> 00:14:47,832
You gave birth to seven kids.
Work through the pain.
372
00:14:47,833 --> 00:14:51,624
Look, if this were an ad
for an eletronics store
commercial--
373
00:14:51,625 --> 00:14:54,333
Two more minutes, Ethan!
Do you know how much
those ticket brokers charge?
374
00:14:57,583 --> 00:14:59,207
When are you shooting our scene?
375
00:14:59,208 --> 00:15:01,249
Uh...
376
00:15:01,250 --> 00:15:02,874
how does now work for you?
377
00:15:02,875 --> 00:15:04,457
Just lose the bird.
378
00:15:04,458 --> 00:15:05,707
I can't leave him alone.
379
00:15:05,708 --> 00:15:07,582
Leo has separation anxiety.
380
00:15:07,583 --> 00:15:09,999
Which is weird, because
as an emotional support bird
381
00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:11,207
it's also something
he treats.
382
00:15:11,208 --> 00:15:13,082
Okay.
383
00:15:13,083 --> 00:15:15,457
Then you say, "Ahoy, mateys,
384
00:15:15,458 --> 00:15:16,874
big savings ahead."
385
00:15:16,875 --> 00:15:18,957
Can I say,
"Shiver me timbers" instead?
386
00:15:18,958 --> 00:15:20,999
That was my big line last time.
Sure!
387
00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:23,249
Actors.
(scoffs)
388
00:15:23,250 --> 00:15:25,082
Okay, I'm gonna call "action,"
389
00:15:25,083 --> 00:15:27,332
then just keep going
till I say "cut."
390
00:15:27,333 --> 00:15:30,499
LEO: Action!
Tiver me shimbers-- Ahh--
391
00:15:30,500 --> 00:15:31,874
I didn't call "action."
392
00:15:31,875 --> 00:15:34,457
That was the bird.
Do I sound like a bird?
393
00:15:34,458 --> 00:15:35,957
I'm not sure.
Say "action" again
and I'll--
394
00:15:35,958 --> 00:15:37,874
I don't sound like a bird.
395
00:15:37,875 --> 00:15:39,499
Okay, here we go.
396
00:15:39,500 --> 00:15:41,082
(parrot-like)
Action!
397
00:15:41,083 --> 00:15:43,999
Shiver me timbers.
Big savings ahead.
398
00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:47,415
Arrr! When you be in need of
fishing and boating supplies--
399
00:15:47,416 --> 00:15:48,457
LEO: Cut!
400
00:15:48,458 --> 00:15:49,832
What? Not feeling the pirate?
401
00:15:49,833 --> 00:15:52,165
That was Leo!
Wow!
402
00:15:52,166 --> 00:15:54,832
Actually, yes,
you do sound like a bird!
403
00:15:54,833 --> 00:15:56,874
Okay,
I can't work with Leo.
404
00:15:56,875 --> 00:15:58,458
ETHAN: He's driving me crazy.
405
00:16:04,333 --> 00:16:06,707
You can't unjinx here.
Why are you tied up?
406
00:16:06,708 --> 00:16:08,874
I asked. It looked fun.
407
00:16:08,875 --> 00:16:12,374
This is not worth it.
408
00:16:12,375 --> 00:16:15,290
MAN (over P.A.):
Please welcome the President
of the United States,
409
00:16:15,291 --> 00:16:17,332
"Doody" Diaz!
410
00:16:17,333 --> 00:16:18,874
Then again...
411
00:16:18,875 --> 00:16:19,874
ETHAN: Can someone
find Harley?
412
00:16:19,875 --> 00:16:21,374
I'm ready for the rig.
413
00:16:21,375 --> 00:16:25,874
Okay, rig, time to erease
"Doody" Diaz for good.
414
00:16:25,875 --> 00:16:27,499
Doody Diaz, Doody Diaz.
415
00:16:27,500 --> 00:16:31,000
Emotional support bird?
So not supportive.
416
00:16:33,708 --> 00:16:35,624
That looks amazing.
417
00:16:35,625 --> 00:16:37,957
It could have used more time,
418
00:16:37,958 --> 00:16:39,707
but I was busy listening
to the lobster.
419
00:16:39,708 --> 00:16:40,874
What?
420
00:16:40,875 --> 00:16:43,624
It's, uh, movie set talk.
421
00:16:43,625 --> 00:16:46,124
You know, "Lights,
camera, lobster!"
422
00:16:46,125 --> 00:16:47,749
Surprised you haven't heard it.
423
00:16:47,750 --> 00:16:49,874
Anyway, this should
get you your boom shot.
424
00:16:49,875 --> 00:16:52,832
Great, because so far
I've got nothing.
425
00:16:52,833 --> 00:16:55,999
But my signature shot
could save this whole ad.
426
00:16:56,000 --> 00:16:57,957
I'm gonna start close
on the family
427
00:16:57,958 --> 00:17:00,582
and then boom up
to show off the entire store
428
00:17:00,583 --> 00:17:03,582
as upbeat and cheery
as the Diaz family itself.
429
00:17:03,583 --> 00:17:06,624
Ohh. We didn't get
Adele tickets.
430
00:17:06,625 --> 00:17:08,499
It's gonna cost
a bazillion dollars
431
00:17:08,500 --> 00:17:10,124
to buy them
from a broker.
432
00:17:10,125 --> 00:17:12,707
And I have to sit
in the last row.
433
00:17:12,708 --> 00:17:15,249
I don't even know how to shop
for last row outfits.
434
00:17:15,250 --> 00:17:16,957
Maybe don't start with them.
435
00:17:16,958 --> 00:17:18,624
Come on, guys,
let's get into place
436
00:17:18,625 --> 00:17:19,999
for the big group shot.
437
00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:22,000
It's lobster time.
438
00:17:27,875 --> 00:17:29,290
Action.
439
00:17:29,291 --> 00:17:31,749
So come on down
to the Bait & Bite,
440
00:17:31,750 --> 00:17:33,207
the family store that has--
441
00:17:33,208 --> 00:17:34,999
(phone chimes)
442
00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:36,999
Adele just announced
a second concert!
443
00:17:37,000 --> 00:17:38,374
Yes!
(Leo squawks)
444
00:17:38,375 --> 00:17:39,707
Leo!
445
00:17:39,708 --> 00:17:42,082
LEO: Doody Diaz! Doody Diaz!
I am now.
446
00:17:42,083 --> 00:17:43,875
Who taught him that?
Cut.
447
00:17:49,500 --> 00:17:51,999
I can't do this anymore.
448
00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:54,416
This commercial is doomed.
I quit.
449
00:17:55,958 --> 00:17:57,999
Dang, that was close!
450
00:17:58,000 --> 00:17:59,707
Ha! You talked!
451
00:17:59,708 --> 00:18:01,290
What would you prefer,
452
00:18:01,291 --> 00:18:04,000
butt in front,
or butt in back?
453
00:18:07,875 --> 00:18:09,957
I can't believe you're quitting.
454
00:18:09,958 --> 00:18:12,457
After I spent the whole day
solving your problems.
455
00:18:12,458 --> 00:18:15,083
What?
That lobster I gave you...
456
00:18:16,708 --> 00:18:18,457
it had a monitor in it
so I could help you.
457
00:18:18,458 --> 00:18:20,582
I knew lobsters weren't lucky!
458
00:18:20,583 --> 00:18:22,291
They end up dropped
in boiling water.
459
00:18:25,875 --> 00:18:28,124
So I guess you don't
think I'm good at directing.
460
00:18:28,125 --> 00:18:30,124
I know you're good
at directing.
461
00:18:30,125 --> 00:18:31,874
But you're also
good at quitting.
462
00:18:31,875 --> 00:18:33,874
Success takes
more than talent,
463
00:18:33,875 --> 00:18:35,707
it takes dedication.
464
00:18:35,708 --> 00:18:36,999
I should know.
465
00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:40,999
I'm an inventor,
half the things I try, fail.
466
00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:43,082
And whether or not
you do this ad,
467
00:18:43,083 --> 00:18:45,707
I'm gonna make that rig work, too.
468
00:18:45,708 --> 00:18:47,999
Because I don't quit
when things go wrong.
469
00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:49,290
I'm sorry I let you down.
470
00:18:49,291 --> 00:18:51,957
You didn't just let me down...
471
00:18:51,958 --> 00:18:54,124
you let you down.
472
00:18:54,125 --> 00:18:57,957
♪ I got the tickets,
I got the tickets ♪
473
00:18:57,958 --> 00:18:59,957
(laughing)
474
00:18:59,958 --> 00:19:01,624
I know there's something
going on here,
475
00:19:01,625 --> 00:19:03,332
but I can't stop dancing.
476
00:19:03,333 --> 00:19:05,125
(laughing)
477
00:19:08,000 --> 00:19:09,707
You didn't get the tickets
either?
478
00:19:09,708 --> 00:19:12,749
No, I only got...
479
00:19:12,750 --> 00:19:13,957
fifth row!
480
00:19:13,958 --> 00:19:16,707
What? That's amazing!
481
00:19:16,708 --> 00:19:18,332
You're going to see Adele
482
00:19:18,333 --> 00:19:20,082
and we can all afford
to go to the dentist this year.
483
00:19:20,083 --> 00:19:23,082
And I know who I'm gonna take
with the extra ticket.
484
00:19:23,083 --> 00:19:25,957
You.
Really?
485
00:19:25,958 --> 00:19:27,749
Oh, Rach...
486
00:19:27,750 --> 00:19:29,375
thank you so much.
487
00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:32,582
No thanks needed.
488
00:19:32,583 --> 00:19:35,874
A poster, a T-shirt
and a hoodie needed.
489
00:19:35,875 --> 00:19:38,374
I want you to know
I'll honor my promise.
490
00:19:38,375 --> 00:19:40,124
You can air
the old commercial
tomorrw.
491
00:19:40,125 --> 00:19:42,332
I have accepted my fate.
492
00:19:42,333 --> 00:19:44,874
MALE VOICEOVER:
And the very first
footprints on Mars
493
00:19:44,875 --> 00:19:47,332
belong to Commander Doody Diaz.
494
00:19:47,333 --> 00:19:48,999
(laughter)
495
00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:51,457
Those Martians
were laughing at me!
496
00:19:51,458 --> 00:19:52,999
ETHAN: Everyone, get in here!
497
00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:54,000
I have something to show you.
498
00:19:57,208 --> 00:19:58,874
I finished my commercial.
499
00:19:58,875 --> 00:20:01,082
Now, I didn't have
a lot to work with,
500
00:20:01,083 --> 00:20:03,874
but someone told me
to never give up.
501
00:20:03,875 --> 00:20:05,999
So I took what I had
into editing
502
00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:08,832
and added a few things.
503
00:20:08,833 --> 00:20:12,874
♪
ETHAN: The Bait & Bite has
all your outdoor needs covered,
504
00:20:12,875 --> 00:20:14,957
so you're ready for anything.
505
00:20:14,958 --> 00:20:16,874
That's right, anything.
506
00:20:16,875 --> 00:20:22,457
(all cheer)
Instead of sitting around
being bored...
507
00:20:22,458 --> 00:20:26,332
grab a board and surf on down
to the Bait & Bite.
508
00:20:26,333 --> 00:20:30,374
We've got everything you need
for outdoor fun.
509
00:20:30,375 --> 00:20:32,957
Don't get lost at sea
looking for good deals...
510
00:20:32,958 --> 00:20:34,999
Yes!
511
00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:37,874
...it's a whale of a sale,
so come on down.
512
00:20:37,875 --> 00:20:40,707
And bring your family
to meet ours.
513
00:20:40,708 --> 00:20:43,499
Open seven days a week,
se hable espanol.
514
00:20:43,500 --> 00:20:44,999
Well, some of us.
515
00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:47,749
(all cheering)
516
00:20:47,750 --> 00:20:49,499
I love it.
We gotta celebrate.
517
00:20:49,500 --> 00:20:50,957
Everybody into the kitchen.
518
00:20:50,958 --> 00:20:53,415
Pizza rolls on me.
519
00:20:53,416 --> 00:20:55,332
I finished those
yesterday.
520
00:20:55,333 --> 00:20:56,999
Taquitos on me.
521
00:20:57,000 --> 00:20:58,707
I ate those
last night.
522
00:20:58,708 --> 00:21:00,291
Did anybody eat
the fruit cups?
523
00:21:01,875 --> 00:21:04,082
Fruit cups on me!
524
00:21:04,083 --> 00:21:06,457
Yeah!
Yes.
525
00:21:06,458 --> 00:21:07,875
Good job.
Great job.
526
00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:11,082
You totally bailed me out.
527
00:21:11,083 --> 00:21:12,290
{\an8}Just so you know,
528
00:21:12,291 --> 00:21:13,999
{\an8}I might still quit
on other stuff,
529
00:21:14,000 --> 00:21:16,499
{\an8}but I'll never quit on
my BFTF.
530
00:21:16,500 --> 00:21:18,291
{\an8}You better not.
531
00:21:19,875 --> 00:21:21,999
{\an8}I'll never quit!
I'll never quit!
532
00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:23,415
{\an8}I just got a text from Coach.
533
00:21:23,416 --> 00:21:25,582
{\an8}She'll be here any minute
to pick up Leo.
534
00:21:25,583 --> 00:21:27,999
{\an8}Good thing I finally got him
to clean up his beak.
535
00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:28,832
{\an8}I'll never quit.
536
00:21:28,833 --> 00:21:30,582
{\an8}Wow, look what
he learned here.
537
00:21:30,583 --> 00:21:32,582
{\an8}Hey, wins all around.
538
00:21:32,583 --> 00:21:34,749
{\an8}Georgie, hit me
with a fruit cup.
539
00:21:34,750 --> 00:21:35,957
{\an8}Georgie hit me.
Georgie hit me.
540
00:21:35,958 --> 00:21:38,207
{\an8}Leo. No no. No no no. Shh!
541
00:21:38,208 --> 00:21:39,207
{\an8}Georgie hit me.
542
00:21:39,208 --> 00:21:40,875
{\an8}Tell Coach Woods I moved.
39621
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