All language subtitles for Stuck.In.The.Middle.S01E08.1080p.DSNP.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264.DUAL-C76_Legendas02.ENG

Lewie, Beast and Daphne
are away for the weekend,

which means I get to
do something

I've never done before.

The backwards couch flop.

Normally, if I did this,

I would land on
at least four other people,

and half a pizza.

This is what it's like
not sharing a bathroom.

I actually have time
to brush all my teeth,

not just the ones
that show.

And this, my friends,
is what it's like

to not have to
kidney punch people

to get to the milk.

Even if it smells like cheese
that's been left in a gym bag.

Listen up.

With your mom and the tornado
trio at Grandma's

tonight may be the first time
in 16 years

that I've been able to watch
an entire ball game.

So unless there's a fire,
a felony or a fracture,

forget I'm your father.

Already forgotten.
Got plans.

- Me, too.
- Me, too too.

Wait.

Does that mean I'll be the only
kid in the house tonight?

That's like Halley's Comet.

It only happens
every 75 years.

Like Beast putting
the toilet seat up.

Or down.
Or even hitting the toilet.

Look, I love
my brothers and sisters,

but because of them,

I've never had
a successful slumber party.

My friends either get driven
away by the younger kids...

HARLEY: Beast, Lewie, no!

Or sucked in
by the older ones.

Changing your part
adds instant bounce.

Body, blah.

GIRLS: Oh!

But tonight, all that's
going to change.

Dad, can I have
a slumber party?

That sounds like a question
for your father.

I'm just some guy
watching the game.

Well, if you see my dad,

tell him thanks.

What's this?
Flavored creamer?

Nice. Cheesecake.

Nothing but the best
for you, Dad.

♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪

♪ Sometimes it feels like
things are outta control ♪

♪ Like you're living in
a circus ♪

♪ Tryin' to figure out
your way in the world ♪

♪ Where you're at
is kinda perfect ♪

♪ So turn it up,
turn it up ♪

♪ Do your thing,
don't stop ♪

♪ Let the games begin,
let's jump right in ♪

♪ I wanna get
stuck with you ♪

♪ In the middle
of the party ♪

♪ We're just
getting started ♪

♪ I wanna get
stuck with you ♪

♪ In the eye of the tornado,
rowin' in the same boat ♪

♪ I wanna get
stuck with you ♪

♪ Get stuck in
the middle with you ♪

♪ I wanna get
stuck with you ♪

All of the stars
have aligned for

Harley's Comet Sleepover,

which includes an actual comet
we're gonna watch from the roof.

Sure, the roof's off limits,

but the tattletales
have left the building.

Think fast!

Was that a pass to me?

Not important.

What is important is tonight,

league MVP
and my personal hero

Mikaela Mendoza
drops her new,

limited edition
basketball shoe.

I wrote all about it
on my blog.

- "I'm a basket case."
- You nailed the title.

Come on. We gotta go now
to get a good place in line.

Georgie, I can't.

I have plans,
once-in-a-lifetime plans.

But you promised
you'd go with me.

I did? When?

Since I'm helping you test
your new spray tanning helmet,

will you come with me

to get new basketball shoes
next weekend?

Sorry, Georgie.
I'm pretty busy.

How's my tan?

Amazing, right?

Grab me a mirror.

Forget the mirror.

Tell me all about
these super cool

- basketball shoes
we're getting.
- Okay.

Right.
The Oompa Loompa incident.

Just because
I love basketball

doesn't mean
I wanna look like one.

Can't you just go alone?

No. They only give out
one pair per person,
and I need two--

one to play in
and one to look perfect
when I walk down the aisle.

I'm sure I'll read
all about it on your blog.

We're jetting in 20.

We'll be in line all night,
so don't wear tight shoes.

You don't wanna end up
with feet like basketball
legend Andrea Ahlgreen.

Hammer toes.

Later.

Yeah, okay.

Whoa!
Where do you think
you're going?

Library. Hannah's picking
me up to do homework.

- (motorcycle revs)
- Bye.

I know that sound.
That's the sound of you
dropping out of school.

- No, it's Cuff.
- One leads to the other.

I don't know
what bothers me more,

that you lied to me,
or you put so little
effort into it.

Really? I put so little
effort into everything,

except this.

I didn't think
you'd care that much.
You're not Mom.

Sure, you get
mad and stuff,

but Mom's the one
that brings the punishment.

It works for you guys.
Why mess with it?

Come on, Ethan.

You gotta go with
Georgie for me.

I've got one night to go
through Beast and Lewie's stuff

and get my stuff back.
No dice.

Actually, dice.

What's more important,

your stuff
or your favorite sister?

My favorite video game,

my favorite comic book,

algebra book.
This can stay lost.

I wonder if those
little looters

have my snow jacket.

I'm going back in.

Raiders of the Lost Parka.

I'm trying to do you
a solid here, bro.

All my girls are coming
over for a sleepover tonight,

and I know how much
you enjoy that.

(camera shutters clicking)

(shrieking)

Okay, okay.
I'll go.

At least I can read this
when I'm in line.

Well, I found the boys'
gum collection.

Ellie.

You're two hours early.

I'm so excited,
I came for the pre-party.

There is no pre-party.

I should've guessed from
the lack of paparazzi out front.

Never mind.
I'm just glad you're here.

I wasn't sure
you were coming.

You said your mom
doesn't like slumber parties,

- or our family.
- She doesn't.

she calls them the first step
on the slippery slope

to living
an alternative lifestyle.

It's only a sleepover.

No. That's what she
calls your family.

But she said I could go
as long as I snooped in
your medicine cabinet.

Snoop away.

There's nothing in there
but a broken thermometer

and a box of peanut brittle
Mom thinks she's hiding from us.

Oh. So, hit me
with the party deets.

I just read that
in a magazine.

Get ready.

I've been planning
this night for ten years.

I supersized some speakers

so we can pump-kin up
the bass.

Thanks to a little
food chemistry,

I've prepared a 20-flavor
potato chip bar.

And the best part is,
everybody's gone,

so we have the room
to ourselves,

and your exclusive membership
as my best friend

allows you into
our VIP lounge.

What are you doing here?

Dad grounded me.

Is she on the list?

Out!

Let me talk with her.

I can usually
reason with her.

Rachel.

And stay out!

I don't think
this is one of those times.

No, no, down, down!
Aahhh!

Hey, Dad.

Not seeing blood
or smelling fire.
Go away.

I would, but I'm trying
to get ready for my sleepover,

and Rachel's
hogging up the room.

She said you grounded her.

Yep. Mom's not the only
one dropping the hammer
round here.

You can call me Thor.

No, wait, call me
God of Thunder.

Ooh, commercial's over.
Call me later.

If you think Thor
would ground his daughter

by letting her watch
Dance Dads on her laptop

while live blogging
about it, then go ahead.

Wait. Rachel's live blogging
Dance Dads right now?

And she's also
texting her friends,

saying how harsh
your punishment was.

Winky face, winky face.

Really? Well, I'm gonna take
away her electronics,

and make her study
in her room all night.

- Sad face, sad face.
- What?

What? Sad face
not a thing?

Rachel in my room?

All night?

How am I supposed
to have my party?

Panic face, panic face.

Oh, idea face.

If you want Rachel
to do her homework,

she needs to be
down here with you.

Sitting in the same room
as a caring parent.

That's what she calls
punishment.

You're right.

- Rachel, get down here.
- Better to text.

RACHEL: Downstairs?
Seriously?

Look how close we are
to the front of the line.

Oh, it's awesome.

It's even more awesome
how far away from

Harley's girlfriends
we are.

At least I hope we are.

They can't drive
yet, can they?

Look. We're even ahead
of Molly Hooper.
What a ball hog.

Ball hog? She rides the bench
almost as much as you do.

Exactly. She hogs the part
of the bench right by
the ball rack.

Prime real estate.

Why is she even here?

Her feet aren't anything
like Mikaela Mendoza's.

Big-time toe fungus.

Maybe later.

Hey, look at that.

People are selling
their place in line.

Losers.

I wouldn't give away
this spot for a million dollars.

Hey, let's see if we can
get a wave going.

You've got seven more hours
in line.

Why not?

Anybody willing
to give up their spot?

Oh, thank you so much
for giving me your spot.

No, we were just
doing the wave.

Can I offer you
a high-protein snack?

Some jerky
or Greek yogurt?

I really need these shoes.

You see, my father volunteered
to spend a year in space,

but before he goes,
he's doing this contest with me

so we can win some money
to replace our house

that burned down.

And I think it would
really help us win

if he was wearing
a pair of Mendozas.

Oh, I forgot.

Look at what
I got for us.

Laser pointers.

There's a PowerPoint later.

Mom made a great one
for my sixth birthday.

Twenty reasons orange slices
are better than birthday cake.

Reason number one:
you can't peel a cake.

No. These are to drive
the neighbors' dogs crazy.

Slumber parties are
all about crazy hijinks.

And tonight will be
the hijinks-iest.

Do we get to play Truth?

You mean Truth Or Dare?

Mom and I
only play Truth.

You mean there's
another part?

I'm starting to think
my parties were a bust.

Well, our bad parties
are a thing of the past.

Tonight, we're turning it
all around.

(glass smashing)

Thirteen broken mirrors?

No bad luck there.

I'll go grab a broom.

Bad luck's
starting already.

How are you back so soon?

We gave up our
place in line

to a girl who needed
the shoes more than I did.

Yeah, her father's gonna
spend a year on a space station.

There are many requirements
for being an astronaut.

Cool sneakers,
not one of them.

You guys got duped
by a sob story.

It wasn't a sob story.

They were trying
to enter a contest.

And there wasn't
any time to ask questions.

Their house just
burned down.

I think we got duped
by a sob story.

How did we not see that?

It's so obvious
in the replay.

Because you guys
are too honest.

I am not.
Okay, that's a lie.

Face it,
you're the Diaz softies.

Before you say anything,

we know it was
a lot to spend
for a giant teddy bear,

but it was for
a good cause.

Habitat for Jerry's
Spring Break.

And it was the only
giant teddy bear

salvaged from
the Titanic.

I feel so violated.

Even more than when
your friends wait for me
outside the bathroom.

There is only one way
you're going to feel better.

You need to march
right back to that store

and take your place
in line back.

How?

What would bad girl point guard
Mikaela Mendoza tell you?

She'd say, "Georgie,
get back in the game,

and if someone
plays dirty, play dirty back.

Also, eat Sporty-O's,
the slam dunk of cereals."

Godspeed, softies.

Why is the guy with
the red hair on the red team?

The teal team is way
more his palette.

(scoffs)
They don't dress
according to palette.

It's more about
skill set.

And now I missed
the rare triple play.

- ( turns channel,
lively music plays )
- Stop, stop, stop!

That's Dancing With
My Dad.

It's a two-hour
season finale.

Please.
Just during
the commercial?

What's the difference
between Dance Dads
and Dancing With My Dad?

DD is about dads
whose daughters dance.

DWMD is about dads
dancing with
their daughters.

You know what?
TMI.

Come on.
It's a good show.

The families always have
some major tragic thing
that happened,

and everybody
at the end cries.

It's really fun.

I get that.

I almost cried when
I missed that rare
triple play.

Welcome to Star Club 360.

Everything
a young astronomer needs.

And sparkling cider.

It's T-minus 30 minutes
till the crew arrives.

Uh, I guess this is
a bad time to tell you

that I'm afraid
of heights.

Then it's definitely
a bad time to tell you

you just locked us out.

How did you
lock us out?

The girls are gonna
be here any minute.

I can't talk.
Panicking.

Why didn't you tell me you were
afraid of heights before?

I didn't know.

Mom won't let me on
anything higher than
a step stool

without a three-point
safety harness.
Anybody!

Quiet. If my dad hears,
we're in trouble big time.

There's gotta be
something up here

to get us down.

In this family, if you
want something to disappear,

you know where to throw it.

Wow, Mom, you brought
prune loaf again.

I cannot wait
to dig in.

(glass shatters)

Please tell me
your amazing brain

has come up with something
to get us down.

Not yet.
But on a creepy note,

now we know where
Daphne sends her naughty dolls.

Can you figure out
something fast,

because I just remembered,

I'm also afraid of the dark.

(wings flapping)

And birds.

Okay, I don't know
who invited Crazy Rooftop Ellie,

- but she needs to chill.
- I'm trying.

Okay, that bird fear,
not so crazy.

Oh! This guy is so good.

How can the judge say
he has two left feet?

Because he does
have two left feet.

Literally.

He makes it look
so easy. Huh?

Huh?

What do you think?

I think those chips
deserve a better salsa.

Okay, that girl
played us.

Now we gotta find
someone to play.

Totally done being
the pushovers of the family.

Okay.

Too mean.

Too nice.

Too much like Mom.

Aw, she's got a dog.

This is too hard.

I'm out.

(sighs)
I can do this.

I must do this.

If not for me,
for Mikaela Mendoza.

Excuse me, I was
wondering if you'd
give me your place in line.

My father is
an astronaut,

and we're raising money
to buy him shoes

to get away from
the fire,

because his space station
burned down,

and... (sighs)

Here's a dollar
for your time,

and another one for
pain and suffering.

Bye.

You're not on a roof,
Ellie, you're on
a tropical beach.

Smell the surf.

Feel the sun
on your shoulders.

Great. Now I'm
getting sunburned.

No. You put on
pretend sunscreen.

- Right.
- (wings flapping)

Incoming!

(whispering)
He's after us.

Okay, let me think.

The girls will
be here soon,

and when Dad
comes looking for me...

it'll be
bye-bye, sleepover,

hello, Thor's
mighty hammer of discipline.

Why do my parents
ever listen to me?

Harley, look.

We have to raise their attention
without raising any attention.

It's official, Ethan.

We are the softies
of the family.

The champs of chump.

Prince and princess
of patsies.

The Diaz doormats.

Maybe we're just
nice people.

Oh, sure,
rub it in.

Shoes.

One, two,
cha-cha-cha.

Three, four,
cha-cha-cha.

Legs together.

Legs together!

Just my luck.

I can't get
the shoes I want,

and now random ones
are raining from the sky.

Great.

We're cold, hungry,
and now shoeless.

All I wanted was
one successful sleepover

before I'm too old.

I'd get up
and give you a hug,

but my nails are dug
pretty deep into
these shingles.

(wings flapping)

If that bird's
not careful,

it is going to get
a beak full of prune loaf.

Man, this thing's
like a brick.

Maybe I can use this
to get us down.

I'll wedge it
into this pipe,

shove the hockey stick
in it,

and use it to catapult me

safely onto
the Goldsmiths' awning.

DOLL: Mama.

HARLEY: Test run,
epic fail.

Okay, the trajectory's
a little off.

But if I stopped up
the rain gutter with
the prune loaf--

The prune loaf isn't
gonna stop up anything.

Trust me, that prune loaf
stops up the whole family.

(wings flapping)

Just do it, do it!

Wow.

The pillow really does
help keep the legs together.

You have to admit,
it feels pretty silly.

No sillier than Dominguez
not running out
that ground ball.

Oh, you were listening.

- This is super weird.
- I know.

Usually, Dad only
does the Robot.

He doesn't know
how over that is.

(gasps)
Ooh, Dad, it's
final elimination.

Zip it and sit
or we'll miss the crying.

Okay, we are about
to find out

if Lamar's sloppy footwork
in the pasa doble
will send him home.

ANNOUNCER: And according to
your votes, America,

the first
father-daughter team

leaving us tonight is...

(static)

This cannot
be happening.

Oh, that stupid
satellite dish.

If my dad finds me
splattered all over the cement,

remember, I was never
up here.

Harley! What are you
doing up here?

Quite possibly riding
a prune loaf to my death.

Get in here.

You know you're not
supposed to be on the roof.

I wanted to watch a comet
for my sleepover,
and we got locked out.

- Well, you're grounded.
- Grounded?

I grounded two kids tonight;
Mom's gonna be pretty impressed.

Thor is bringing the thunder.

My sleepover may look
more lifeless

than that dead doll
on the Goldsmiths' driveway,

but I am not giving up.

Gotta say, I'm just
glad you found us.

We were out there
for almost an hour

until you noticed
we were gone.

But you were probably
doing something pretty
important, right?

Yeah, I was watching TV
and learning to cha-cha.

At least you got Rachel
to finish her homework.

Mom doesn't need to know
everything that happens here,

as long as you
don't do this again.

- Trust me, I won't.
- Good. Come on.

Guys.

Guys!

You were out here, too?

Ellie, you know
it's not safe.

Look! The comet!

It's beautiful.

(wings flapping)

I guess he enjoyed it, too.

HARLEY: Okay, maybe it's not
the super sweet slumber party

I had planned.

Look. It's her.

The girl we gave
our place in line to.

My dad may be
going into space,

but today, I met
two angels from heaven.

Those are my shoes.

We're not suckers
after all!

At a moment like this,

all of us bonding
on the couch,

maybe it's better than
a slumber party on the roof.

I know it's rarer.