All language subtitles for Stuck.In.The.Middle.S01E03.1080p.DSNP.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264.DUAL-C76_Legendas03.ENG

- I get it first.
- I called it.

HARLEY: In a big family,
it's a given.

You're gonna
have to share stuff.

Toys, food,
pink eye.

Especially something awesome.

The other thing about
a big family--

that "I get it first"
rule

is less important than
the "I grabbed it first" rule.

I can't believe it.

Cuff hasn't commented on
any of my posts

in, like, two whole days.

If it wasn't me
he was moving on from,

I'd say he's moving on.

That tablet is so awesome.

That's why we're all
super careful with it.

Thank you, Marshport.

Right, right,
left, left. Knockout!

Oops.

Harley, your turn.

Finally.

My favorite
live streaming site.

Penguin-cam.
I'm obsessed with penguins.

Maybe because
they're like my family.

They live in large groups,
compete for territory,

and fight over food.

Although I've never
seen a penguin

slap anyone for
the last pork chop.

Anyway, my favorite penguin,
Nim-Nim,

has an egg that's
supposed to hatch any day now.

It's wiggling.
We're getting close.

Ooh alert.

(beeping)

Error? No, tablet,
you cannot die on me now.

(distorted voice)

Mom! We killed
another tablet.

♪ Sometimes it feels like
things are outta control ♪

♪ Like you're living in
a circus ♪

♪ Try to figure out
your way in the world ♪

♪ Where you're at
is kinda perfect ♪

♪ So turn it up,
turn it up ♪

♪ Do your thing,
don't stop ♪

♪ Let the games begin,
let's jump right in ♪

♪ I wanna get
stuck with you ♪

♪ In the middle
of the party ♪

♪ We're just
getting started ♪

♪ I wanna get
stuck with you ♪

♪ In the eye of the tornado,
rowin' in the same boat ♪

♪ I wanna get
stuck with you ♪

♪ Get stuck in
the middle with you ♪

♪ I wanna get
stuck with you ♪

Mom, Dad, I just
wanna say

that we are really,
really, really

- really--
- We're sorry
we broke the tablet.

Too "really's" max.
We talked about this.

The size of this card
is proportional

to the size
of our regret.

Wow, guys.

We are so touched.

Not "buying you
a new tablet" touched,

but we appreciate
the attempt.

Told you that card
wouldn't work.

Rookies.

Giant card?
Epic fail.

Should've gone
with crying.

Look, I gotta get
down to the marina.

Big weekend at the store.
The remodeled canoes are in.

I seriously don't think
you understand

Without a tablet,
your children are
literally falling apart.

Look.

They do that every day.

Have you not seen
the tongue growth
chart on the wall?

Boys, go to the store
and help your father.

Help? All they do
is make a mess.

Okay, we've drawn
a hard line here.

I can't be home alone
with seven kids

and no tablet.

In a family of nine,
when you need money,

you turn to
the three C's...

car, couch,
and cubbies.

Four cents,

a bloody toe...
wait, what?!

Oh, cocktail weenie
with dried ketchup.

- (doorbell rings)
- Cool. A toe!

- Uh...
- I'm really sorry
about your tablet.

I'd loan you ours,

but my mom uses it
to track me

in case I get lost...
or come over here.

There you are.

Accurate right down
to a half a block.

Bethany, didn't know
you were here.

Anyway, thanks for coming.

I came to ask
a favor.

Lord know, I'm
certainly owed one.

Could you keep
your brand of

"big family fun: on
your side of the fence
this weekend?

I have no idea
what you're talking about.

CHILD: Incoming!

Sorry!

HARLEY: Mom really didn't
have a turkey leg to stand on.

Can we
get that back?

I need quiet.
I have a guest coming.

I rented my spare room through
a bed and breakfast online,

and between
you and me,

she's paying
a lot of money.

A lot.

I mean, I am really
fleecing her.

Don't hatch yet,
baby Nim-Nim.

Auntie Harley's
just figured out

how to get a new tablet.

You wanna rent a room
in our house

to a total stranger
online.

Who hopefully pays
enough to buy a new tablet.

How would that
even work?

We don't have
an extra room.

Our youngest sister
sleeps on a dog bed
in the hall.

We can rent out
our couch.

I checked the website,
it's totally legit.

So is room sharing,
but Georgie snores,

and Beast sleepwalks
and pees in the trash can.

Okay, and on what planet
would Mom and Dad

not notice some random
dude in his PJ's

- drooling on the couch?
- Planet Diaz.

Mom and Dad won't notice
one more kid.

Half the time, they don't
notice the ones they have.

Trust me, I know.

Now that you're in,

I'm going to need you
to design a web page.

I'm not in.

I'm not even in
the neighborhood of in.

But we need the tablet.

Do you want another night
like last night?

There's seven of us
and one remote.

- I'm sure there's
a civilized way--
- Get him!

Okay, no fishing for
hot dogs,

no camping in
the tent display,

and no filling up
the canteens with
clam chowder

from the snack bar.

Got it, Dad.

No playing with
the bait.

How'd I forget that?

(frog croaking)

Hey, check out
those frogs.

They're wrestling.

Whoa! Did you see
that pile driver?

He took him down
with his tongue.

I really need
to grow mine out.

Grab that boot.
We've gotta take
these guys to school.

People would pay
to see this.

Maybe we could use the money
to help buy a new tablet.

Or we could buy gum.

Yeah, no one buys us
gum anymore.

You swallow 50 pieces

to see if you can
blow a bubble with your butt

one time.

So I designed the web page
for the couch rental you wanted.

Living room before.
Living room after.

Wow! It looks like a family
who actually cares lives here.

ETHAN: Right?

Check this out.

Bathroom before.
Bathroom after.

That doesn't even
look like our bathroom.

It's actually a picture
from a magazine.

No computer could
make ours so clean.

No wonder we already
have our first booking.

Oh, awesome.

His name is Bai Hsu.

He's a music student
from Asia.

He's coming tomorrow.

(doorbell rings)

Huh.

Who'd come over this late?

Who comes over at all?

What are the odds of
another Asian man

showing up at our door
at 9:00 at night?

With a trombone?
Not good.

He said he was
coming tomorrow.

In Asia, today
is tomorrow!

(doorbell rings)

- SUZY: Door.
- We've got it.

Oh, good, Ethan,
your trombone is here.

Bye.

Trombone? I thought
you were into guitar.

I, um... I had
a sudden urge

to play a way less
cool instrument.

I'm really sorry my sister
slammed the door in your face.

Usually, we are
extremely professional.

In the meantime,
enjoy the on-site gym.

I'm not good in English,

but I know
this is not a gym.

May I go to bed now?

No one wants that
more than me.

Our guest, Bai Hsu,

will be here for
a two-day music conference.

He'll be leaving
early every morning,

and returning
late at night.

(croaks)

Nights will be easy.

We all know Mom and Dad
have given up by 9:00.

(croaks)

And to make sure they're
extra tired the next day,

Daphne, you tell them
you had a nightmare,

and go sleep in their bed.
Kick all you want.

I was going to kick
no matter what you said.

And just so they don't
get recharged in the morning,

I'm going to mess with
the coffee maker.

With all our breakfast chaos,

Bai will be lost
in the shuffle.

- So Lewie and Beast,
- (frogs croaking)

you just be Lewie and Beast.

Is this guy famous,
or Rich?

You tell me.
He's staying on our couch.

Okay, the first step
of my master plan

is getting Mom and Dad
to bed.

Guys, I've been thinking,

you work super hard
and never get enough rest.

I made you
some warm milk.

(trombone playing)

What was that?

An owl...

with gas.

Now you should take that
right up to bed.

All clear.
Come on in.

I'm really sorry
about this,

and that weirdly
aggressive possum.

Thank you, kind girl.

He called me kind.

And a girl.

Twenty minutes into
your crazy plan,

and not only do we
almost get caught,

but I sense we're
giving Bai a horrible
impression of America.

It was a bumpy
start, yes,

but he's going to see
we're just a nice,

normal American family.

Look at you,
world traveler,

all alone in
a strange land.

So romantic.

So, tell me,

who's your favorite
field hockey player?

Is that the exchange student?

I was hoping for a blonde,
but I can work with that.

Okay, get in. Closer.

Closer.

Okay, we're done.

What are you doing?

Cuff doesn't wanna
like my photos,

he's really not gonna
like this one.

Tag that foreign
and fierce.

You're foreign,
I'm fierce.

SUZY: Lights out, boys.

Sabers, too.

Quickly, dive and divert.

What's going on down there?

Nothing. Just relaxing
on the couch

like a normal girl who didn't
just meet her soulmate.

(yawns)
Oh good, sounds good.
Don't stay up too late.

I'd like to speak to
the manager.

All right, guys,
last night was a good warm-up.

Now it's show time.

Operation Confuse and Cover
is a go.

ALL: One, two, three,
tablet!

Don't question it.

Hey, look, the coffee
machine's working.

I had to give her something.

I knew kids at our school
would go nuts for our frogs.

One kid peed himself.

How much do you think
we could get?

I've got 20 packs
of bubble gum on hold.

Beast, this is not
about bubble gum anymore.

This is about our future.

We could be frog
wrestling promoters.

I've always wanted to be that.

But if we wanna
be taken seriously,

we gotta up our game.

We need something
spectacular.

Frog costumes?

Daphne's got doll clothes.

I was going to say get them
to throw a tiny chair,

but that sounds easier.

- Where are her clothes?
- Flushed 'em.

We're going to need someone
who takes care of their things.

I can't give these away
for a doughnut.

Mom took a long time
to sew them.

Plus, I'm not supposed
to have doughnuts,

or anything yummy...
or talk to you.

- I'll throw in
a maple log.
- Here.

One more night.

We're rocking
this bed and breakfast thing.

Can't believe we're
actually gonna pull this off.

Hey, Dad, what are you
doing down here?

I can't get any sleep with
Daphne in the bed

kicking all night.

When's the last time
that girl clipped her toenails?

Man, I must be tired.

I thought I saw an Asian man
standing in our living room.

I've seen your gym already.

I would like to go
to bed now.

He wants to go
to bed now, Harley.

He wants to go to bed!

I don't need you to
translate the translator.

Come here.

Face it. We gotta
pump the brakes,

and tell Mom and Dad.

What? You can't bail now.

Sorry to interrupt.

Can someone knock
the giant slug off my back?

If you didn't want in,

you should've said no
at the beginning.

Please help me.
It is crawling.

I did... repeatedly.

But you don't take no
for an answer.

Not when it's
the wrong answer.

That's what I'm saying.

You don't listen,
and you force people

to do what you want.
Know what they call that?

Focus? Smart, strong?

- Pushy.
- (gasps)

That's right.
I said it.

I'm out.

Pushy?
Me?

I'm just a person
who knows what she wants,

and makes other people do it
whether they like it or not.

Oh.

There you are.

Now smile like we've been
at an all-night party.

Stop using Bai
for your twisted games.

Innkeeper, I do not intend
to pay for this stay

if I do not have
a place to sleep.

I promise you will.

Although I have
no idea where.

It's okay.
Kind girl is here now.

Here we are.

For being
such a loyal customer,

we've upgraded you to
an ocean-view suite.

Yeah, I know.

Ocean view is a bit
of a stretch.

But I figured we wouldn't
get him down here

by calling it "a railing where
seagulls poop" view.

Go check out that raft,

and I'll have that tent
set up in no time.

(frustrated grunt)
Come on!

Oh, hey.

What are you doing here?

I came here to help.

Why? You were right.

I talked you into
a bad plan.

I am pushy.

But you're a good pushy.

Remember how Wayne Heleki
used to push me

into doing crazy stunts
when I was a kid?

Great. Now I'm
a third grader

- who beat the principal up
for lunch money.
- That's the thing.

He used to push people to do
stuff for his own amusement.

But when you force us,
or arm twist, or badger,

- or coerce--
- Good with any one.

You're not doing it
for yourself.

You're doing it
for all of us.

Like that time you made
a zip line

out of old Christmas lights.

Dad said no,
but you did it,

and we had a blast.

But you got 13 stitches
from that broken bulb.

Yeah, and now
I get to tell girls

I survived a shark attack,
so win-win.

You make our family better.

All right.

Comin' in for the hug.

Hang on.

- Brother-sister moment over.
- Totally.

Now let's put
this bad boy up.

You know what?
Let's not wake him.

We'll come by
first thing in the morning.

Good, 'cause I have no idea
how to put a tent up.

(kids cheering)

What did I
tell you, Beast?

Frogs with no capes,
not spectacular.

Frogs with capes, spectacular.

Can you tell me why
I found my daughter eating this?

Because maple logs
are delicious?

It's a poison stick.
You know where she got it?

Your boys, Monster and Skitch,
or whatever their names are.

You obviously have no idea
what's going on under
your own roof.

I know exactly what's
going on under my own roof.

Awesome news.
Cuff wasn't liking my posts

because he was in
police custody.

He got caught tagging my name
on a porta-potty.

I feel like I'm in
an Ed Sheeran song.

Okay, I didn't know that,
but she was our first child.

It's kinda like when you
make pancakes.

You always have to throw
the first one out.

Well, two of your "pancakes"

woke my bed
and breakfast visitor

with some early morning
sporting event.

Frog wrestling,
round three. Ding.

I don't think that's
frog wrestling.

That's frog love.

Are those my handmade
doll clothes?

Shame on you,
Red Riding Hood.

Let's go.
Come on, wrap it up.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

No one leaves
until I get paid.

Bai's going to be
so surprised.

I got him a present.

A new spit valve
for his trombone.

Wow, you guys are
moving really fast.

So where's that raft
he's sleeping in?

The one that's
not there?

If you're looking for
the Wampanpoac two-seater,

- I sold it.
- BOTH: You sold it?!

Yeah, the guy who bought it
just put it in the water.

(gasps)
Bye-bye, Bai?

Hold on, Bai.
I'm coming.

(splash)

Uh, Dad,
don't freak out,

but there may have been
an Asian trombone player

sleeping in that raft.

- Yeah, I know.
- You do?

Yes, I know all about
Rachel stashing

her exchange student boyfriend
here Foreign and Fierce.

So where's Bai... oyfriend
of Rachel now?

I sent him on his way.
Not a bad kid really.

He offered to pay
for his stay,

but I wouldn't
take his money.

What kind of decent
human being

would charge a person
to sleep in a raft?

No one I know.

Yeah.

Huh.

I guess sometimes being
the overlooked middle kid

means you don't get caught
in the Christmas picture.

But sometimes it means
you just don't get caught.

I forgot I'm not
a very strong swimmer.

Should we tell her?

Eh, let her paddle
around a while.

Sometimes it's more
about the chase.

Ladies and gentlemen,

from the people
who brought you Frog Slam,

comes the next big thing
in amphibian entertainment.

Welcome to
Turtle Takedown.

We've really gotta get
another tablet.

Don't worry. I came up
with a plan.

I wanna say no,
gonna say yes.

Good, 'cause that'll
save us some time.

Move.

Or you're soup.