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1
00:00:07,458 --> 00:00:08,999
Too big?
2
00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:11,250
Play it cool, Harley.
3
00:00:13,250 --> 00:00:14,707
Terrible!
4
00:00:14,708 --> 00:00:17,207
Come on, face,
stop letting me down.
5
00:00:17,208 --> 00:00:19,999
Today's my birthday.
6
00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:23,249
Mom always takes a picture
the minute you walk downstairs,
7
00:00:23,250 --> 00:00:25,957
then puts it on
our family birthday calendar.
8
00:00:25,958 --> 00:00:28,875
My past few years'
have been a freak show.
9
00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:37,500
I can work with that.
Show time.
10
00:00:39,083 --> 00:00:40,999
In case you haven't
figured it out,
11
00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:43,457
birthdays are kind of
a big deal in my family.
12
00:00:43,458 --> 00:00:45,707
Ooh.
13
00:00:45,708 --> 00:00:48,249
The pancake
assembly line.
14
00:00:48,250 --> 00:00:49,625
Must be for my big day.
15
00:00:51,875 --> 00:00:55,457
The birthday kid always
gets the biggest pancake.
16
00:00:55,458 --> 00:00:58,332
There it is.
17
00:00:58,333 --> 00:01:00,958
That one's mine.
18
00:01:03,625 --> 00:01:06,124
Last one down
gets the fiber cereal.
19
00:01:06,125 --> 00:01:08,833
Hope you don't have plans
for the next two hours.
20
00:01:10,291 --> 00:01:12,458
And here.
Spoons are dirty.
21
00:01:15,583 --> 00:01:17,957
What?!
I can't believe it.
22
00:01:17,958 --> 00:01:20,415
They forgot
my birthday.
23
00:01:20,416 --> 00:01:22,207
I mean, when you're
the middle kid,
24
00:01:22,208 --> 00:01:25,249
being overlooked
is part of the deal.
25
00:01:25,250 --> 00:01:28,500
But my birthday?
This is a new low.
26
00:01:30,583 --> 00:01:33,207
All right,
everybody shush.
27
00:01:33,208 --> 00:01:36,707
I have a special
announcement to make.
28
00:01:36,708 --> 00:01:39,999
Today's a very
important day.
29
00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:41,832
I'm dying my hair.
30
00:01:41,833 --> 00:01:44,957
That's your
special announcement?
31
00:01:44,958 --> 00:01:47,457
Special for me.
A grown woman should
not be coloring her grays
32
00:01:47,458 --> 00:01:49,166
with a magic marker.
33
00:01:50,958 --> 00:01:52,707
Not gonna lie.
34
00:01:52,708 --> 00:01:54,332
I feel bad.
35
00:01:54,333 --> 00:01:57,249
And so will Mom and Dad
when I tell them they forgot.
36
00:01:57,250 --> 00:01:59,832
They're gonna feel guilty.
Really guilty.
37
00:01:59,833 --> 00:02:02,332
(all chattering)
38
00:02:02,333 --> 00:02:03,874
HARLEY: Hang on.
39
00:02:03,875 --> 00:02:07,457
I could use that guilt
for something really good.
40
00:02:07,458 --> 00:02:09,874
For something
money can't buy.
41
00:02:09,875 --> 00:02:11,415
But guilt can.
42
00:02:11,416 --> 00:02:12,874
Thirty-eight,
39, 40.
43
00:02:12,875 --> 00:02:16,415
Don't move.
He is about
to set a record.
44
00:02:16,416 --> 00:02:19,000
I could get the best seat
in the car.
45
00:02:26,166 --> 00:02:28,374
The sweet seat.
46
00:02:28,375 --> 00:02:31,875
Thanks. I thought these jeans
were working for me, too.
47
00:02:35,583 --> 00:02:37,415
Enjoy it now, Rachel,
48
00:02:37,416 --> 00:02:39,625
'cause that seat's
going to be mine.
49
00:02:45,416 --> 00:02:49,499
♪ Sometimes it feels like
things are outta control ♪
50
00:02:49,500 --> 00:02:53,249
♪ Like you're living in
a circus ♪
51
00:02:53,250 --> 00:02:56,707
♪ Try to figure out
your way in the world ♪
52
00:02:56,708 --> 00:02:59,874
♪ Where you're at
is kinda perfect ♪
53
00:02:59,875 --> 00:03:01,874
♪ So turn it up,
turn it up ♪
54
00:03:01,875 --> 00:03:03,832
{\an8}♪ Do your thing,
don't stop ♪
55
00:03:03,833 --> 00:03:06,957
{\an8}♪ Let the games begin,
let's jump right in ♪
56
00:03:06,958 --> 00:03:10,165
♪ I wanna get
stuck with you ♪
57
00:03:10,166 --> 00:03:12,415
♪ In the middle
of the party ♪
58
00:03:12,416 --> 00:03:14,415
♪ We're just
getting started ♪
59
00:03:14,416 --> 00:03:17,707
♪ I wanna get
stuck with you ♪
60
00:03:17,708 --> 00:03:21,415
♪ In the eye of the tornado,
rowin' in the same boat ♪
61
00:03:21,416 --> 00:03:23,250
♪ I wanna get
stuck with you ♪
62
00:03:25,458 --> 00:03:28,707
♪ Get stuck in
the middle with you ♪
63
00:03:28,708 --> 00:03:30,833
♪ I wanna get
stuck with you ♪
64
00:03:33,083 --> 00:03:35,165
(all chattering)
65
00:03:35,166 --> 00:03:37,207
If no one
remembers my birthday,
66
00:03:37,208 --> 00:03:40,124
I can basically ask for
anything I want.
67
00:03:40,125 --> 00:03:42,582
So why would I spend
all my guilt points
68
00:03:42,583 --> 00:03:44,332
for a better seat
in the car?
69
00:03:44,333 --> 00:03:47,957
Let me school you on
life in a big family.
70
00:03:47,958 --> 00:03:50,082
The best seat
goes to the oldest kid,
71
00:03:50,083 --> 00:03:51,457
which means I'm
three kids away
72
00:03:51,458 --> 00:03:53,124
from getting it.
73
00:03:53,125 --> 00:03:55,874
Instead of
a thousand more years
74
00:03:55,875 --> 00:03:58,082
stuck in the combat seat,
75
00:03:58,083 --> 00:04:00,165
I could leap frog
to the spot
76
00:04:00,166 --> 00:04:02,374
where you can feel
the air vent,
77
00:04:02,375 --> 00:04:04,999
look out the window
without a foot in your face.
78
00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:07,582
Don't ask why
I'm wearing a tiara.
79
00:04:07,583 --> 00:04:10,207
I just am.
80
00:04:10,208 --> 00:04:12,499
{\an8}I wanna sit like that.
81
00:04:12,500 --> 00:04:14,207
{\an8}I wanna look like that.
82
00:04:14,208 --> 00:04:15,874
{\an8}I need those guilt points,
83
00:04:15,875 --> 00:04:17,874
{\an8}and the only way
to get them
84
00:04:17,875 --> 00:04:19,415
{\an8}is if no one remembers
my birthday.
85
00:04:19,416 --> 00:04:22,499
{\an8}One giant reminder
I need to hide.
86
00:04:22,500 --> 00:04:24,458
{\an8}The birthday box.
87
00:04:29,166 --> 00:04:30,707
{\an8}Ah!
88
00:04:30,708 --> 00:04:32,999
{\an8}I feel like
today is something.
89
00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:34,874
{\an8}You ever have the feeling
like you've forgotten something,
90
00:04:34,875 --> 00:04:37,290
{\an8}and it's right on
the tip of your brain?
91
00:04:37,291 --> 00:04:38,832
{\an8}Whenever I get that feeling,
92
00:04:38,833 --> 00:04:40,749
{\an8}I forget about it
and move on to something else.
93
00:04:40,750 --> 00:04:43,332
{\an8}I just feel like
it's right under my nose.
94
00:04:43,333 --> 00:04:46,249
{\an8}It's actually right
under her butt.
95
00:04:46,250 --> 00:04:47,999
{\an8}All our family
birthday traditions.
96
00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:50,124
With seven kids
in the family,
97
00:04:50,125 --> 00:04:52,374
the things in that box
got a ton of play.
98
00:04:52,375 --> 00:04:55,165
Happy first
birthday, Rachel.
99
00:04:55,166 --> 00:04:57,624
We love you.
100
00:04:57,625 --> 00:05:01,290
Oh, you are
an angel from heaven.
101
00:05:01,291 --> 00:05:04,207
Happy birthday,
Georgie Porgie.
102
00:05:04,208 --> 00:05:06,332
Tom, bring
Rachel over.
103
00:05:06,333 --> 00:05:08,999
She's biting
my finger, she's
biting my finger!
104
00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:10,874
(kids crying)
105
00:05:10,875 --> 00:05:12,874
Do we have
a boy crown?
106
00:05:12,875 --> 00:05:15,457
SUZY: Just put it on him.
I'm changing two diapers here!
107
00:05:15,458 --> 00:05:18,207
Here you go, Ethan.
108
00:05:18,208 --> 00:05:20,874
HARLEY: Fast forward to
my cake last year.
109
00:05:20,875 --> 00:05:23,874
Yuck. A janky crown,
a lumpy candle,
110
00:05:23,875 --> 00:05:26,249
and a plate that sounds
like a dolphin crying.
111
00:05:26,250 --> 00:05:27,999
It's not pretty,
112
00:05:28,000 --> 00:05:30,249
but that's my family's
birthday tradition.
113
00:05:30,250 --> 00:05:34,415
And right now, it's standing
between me and the sweet seat.
114
00:05:34,416 --> 00:05:36,499
I thought it might be
Static Electricity Day,
115
00:05:36,500 --> 00:05:37,874
but it's not.
116
00:05:37,875 --> 00:05:39,415
I wish someone
told my hair.
117
00:05:39,416 --> 00:05:41,415
Maybe it's
Take A Hike Day.
118
00:05:41,416 --> 00:05:43,374
You should
get on that.
119
00:05:43,375 --> 00:05:44,999
I hope it's not
Thank The Mailman Day.
120
00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:47,582
I'd hate to not have bought
Ernie a gift.
121
00:05:47,583 --> 00:05:50,583
I'd mail him something,
but that seems rude.
122
00:05:56,583 --> 00:05:59,124
Hey, Harley.
123
00:05:59,125 --> 00:06:01,707
Hey, guys.
What's going on?
124
00:06:01,708 --> 00:06:03,124
We've got
an offer for you.
125
00:06:03,125 --> 00:06:04,957
I'll do the talking.
126
00:06:04,958 --> 00:06:07,707
You just stand there
and think about cotton candy.
127
00:06:07,708 --> 00:06:09,999
I wanna do the talking.
128
00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:12,207
All right.
Go ahead.
129
00:06:12,208 --> 00:06:14,999
Cotton candy.
130
00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:17,457
Oh, why'd you have
to say cotton candy?
131
00:06:17,458 --> 00:06:19,207
All right,
you talk.
132
00:06:19,208 --> 00:06:22,165
It's about
your latest invention.
133
00:06:22,166 --> 00:06:24,750
The skate kite.
134
00:06:26,166 --> 00:06:27,749
As you know,
135
00:06:27,750 --> 00:06:29,999
all vehicles must
be tested before
they hit the market.
136
00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:31,499
We'd like to
help with that.
137
00:06:31,500 --> 00:06:34,457
Think of us as
your personal
crash test dummies.
138
00:06:34,458 --> 00:06:37,125
I don't need
crash test dummies.
139
00:06:38,875 --> 00:06:40,457
Then think of us as
two kids
140
00:06:40,458 --> 00:06:42,624
who really wanna
ride your skate kite.
141
00:06:42,625 --> 00:06:44,333
Scram, monkeys!
142
00:06:49,875 --> 00:06:51,875
DAPHNE: Happy
birthday, Harley!
143
00:06:54,833 --> 00:06:57,624
How did you remember
my birthday?
144
00:06:57,625 --> 00:07:00,707
I didn't. I remember
when we're getting cake.
145
00:07:00,708 --> 00:07:03,582
Sh! I don't want anyone
to know it's my birthday.
146
00:07:03,583 --> 00:07:06,707
I see.
147
00:07:06,708 --> 00:07:09,208
Join me in
my bedroom.
148
00:07:12,875 --> 00:07:15,082
Since when is this
your bedroom?
149
00:07:15,083 --> 00:07:18,332
Since I told Mom I don't
do trundle beds.
150
00:07:18,333 --> 00:07:20,624
Look, I wanna keep
this birthday thing
151
00:07:20,625 --> 00:07:23,165
between you and me.
152
00:07:23,166 --> 00:07:25,624
No problem.
Hit me with a Jackson.
153
00:07:25,625 --> 00:07:27,457
- A what?
- 20 bucks.
154
00:07:27,458 --> 00:07:30,249
Abuela always sends us
a 20 on our birthday.
155
00:07:30,250 --> 00:07:31,707
Cough it up.
156
00:07:31,708 --> 00:07:34,415
Can you not shake me down
just this once?
157
00:07:34,416 --> 00:07:37,416
Keeping my secret
could be your birthday
gift to me.
158
00:07:39,458 --> 00:07:42,707
It's Harley's birthday!
159
00:07:42,708 --> 00:07:44,707
I never get you a gift.
160
00:07:44,708 --> 00:07:47,374
Today's your birthday?!
161
00:07:47,375 --> 00:07:49,874
I'm not paying.
You already blabbed.
162
00:07:49,875 --> 00:07:52,500
Georgie!
163
00:07:57,708 --> 00:07:59,583
Never mind.
164
00:08:06,250 --> 00:08:08,332
I can't believe
I forgot your birthday.
165
00:08:08,333 --> 00:08:10,249
Everyone did.
It's a good thing.
166
00:08:10,250 --> 00:08:12,165
It is?
167
00:08:12,166 --> 00:08:14,457
Then you're gonna love
the present I didn't get you.
168
00:08:14,458 --> 00:08:16,707
Here's the thing.
169
00:08:16,708 --> 00:08:19,832
I need to get through
the whole day without
Mom and Dad remembering.
170
00:08:19,833 --> 00:08:21,707
I don't blame you.
171
00:08:21,708 --> 00:08:24,165
I got lice from
that birthday crown last year.
172
00:08:24,166 --> 00:08:27,415
Not great having a birthday
right after Lewie and Beast.
173
00:08:27,416 --> 00:08:29,832
Look, if Mom
and Dad forget,
174
00:08:29,833 --> 00:08:31,874
they will feel so guilty,
I can ask for
175
00:08:31,875 --> 00:08:33,457
Rachel's seat in the car.
176
00:08:33,458 --> 00:08:35,290
The sweet seat.
177
00:08:35,291 --> 00:08:37,249
Genius use of
guilt points.
178
00:08:37,250 --> 00:08:40,249
So no one can find out
it's my birthday.
179
00:08:40,250 --> 00:08:42,207
Come on, Harls.
180
00:08:42,208 --> 00:08:44,499
As soon as people have
a second to stop and think,
181
00:08:44,500 --> 00:08:46,332
someone will remember.
182
00:08:46,333 --> 00:08:48,249
That's why I'm
going to make sure
183
00:08:48,250 --> 00:08:49,707
no one has a second
to stop and think.
184
00:08:49,708 --> 00:08:51,999
Now, Mom's
the big threat.
185
00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:55,332
But, happy birthday to me,
she's dying her hair.
186
00:08:55,333 --> 00:08:57,457
We all know
how this goes.
187
00:08:57,458 --> 00:08:59,707
First, she'll do it wrong.
188
00:08:59,708 --> 00:09:01,457
(crying)
189
00:09:01,458 --> 00:09:03,957
Then she'll cry
for a while.
190
00:09:03,958 --> 00:09:06,415
Then she'll eat
a bag of chips.
191
00:09:06,416 --> 00:09:08,958
Then she'll cry some more
because she ate a bag of chips.
192
00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:13,624
Then she'll go to the store
and get another box of dye.
193
00:09:13,625 --> 00:09:15,415
And chips.
194
00:09:15,416 --> 00:09:17,165
And then she'll
try it all again.
195
00:09:17,166 --> 00:09:18,582
We're talking
at least midnight
196
00:09:18,583 --> 00:09:20,582
until the shame
spiral ends.
197
00:09:20,583 --> 00:09:22,332
Shame spiral.
198
00:09:22,333 --> 00:09:24,332
Cool. Now I know
what to call it.
199
00:09:24,333 --> 00:09:27,374
Also, good name
for a band.
200
00:09:27,375 --> 00:09:30,290
Mom's covered,
Dad's at work.
201
00:09:30,291 --> 00:09:32,750
Now we just have to
keep everyone else busy.
202
00:09:34,208 --> 00:09:36,582
Well, it wasn't
Thank The Mailman Day,
203
00:09:36,583 --> 00:09:38,999
but Ernie did appreciate
the English toffee.
204
00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:41,124
Also, it is not
English Toffee Day.
205
00:09:41,125 --> 00:09:42,874
Also, his name is Rick.
206
00:09:42,875 --> 00:09:45,082
You can stop
trying to figure it out,
207
00:09:45,083 --> 00:09:46,415
because I looked it up.
208
00:09:46,416 --> 00:09:47,957
It's National
High Five Day.
209
00:09:47,958 --> 00:09:50,124
That was last week.
210
00:09:50,125 --> 00:09:51,957
Right.
211
00:09:51,958 --> 00:09:54,124
Um, of course, um...
212
00:09:54,125 --> 00:09:56,582
I meant International
High Five Day.
213
00:09:56,583 --> 00:09:58,624
Opening ceremonies
were great.
214
00:09:58,625 --> 00:10:01,290
Everybody was like,
whoa, whoa.
215
00:10:01,291 --> 00:10:03,332
Really? Cool.
216
00:10:03,333 --> 00:10:06,707
Konichiwa.
217
00:10:06,708 --> 00:10:08,999
HARLEY: Georgie's busy.
218
00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:10,708
Now to distract the boys.
219
00:10:13,583 --> 00:10:15,750
Skate kite!
220
00:10:18,458 --> 00:10:20,874
I feel bad
I blew you off earlier.
221
00:10:20,875 --> 00:10:23,415
You're just the dummies
I need to test this.
222
00:10:23,416 --> 00:10:25,415
You won't be disappointed.
223
00:10:25,416 --> 00:10:26,750
Cotton candy.
224
00:10:28,125 --> 00:10:30,125
Dang. It's all
I can think about.
225
00:10:39,458 --> 00:10:41,458
(crashing sounds)
226
00:10:42,875 --> 00:10:44,875
My turn!
227
00:10:53,583 --> 00:10:56,582
I like that sweater,
Harley.
228
00:10:56,583 --> 00:10:58,707
You're not getting
my sweater.
229
00:10:58,708 --> 00:11:01,999
I already gave you money
to keep my birthday a secret.
230
00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:03,624
Aloha.
231
00:11:03,625 --> 00:11:05,624
You know what
today is?
232
00:11:05,625 --> 00:11:08,125
International
High Five Day.
233
00:11:10,208 --> 00:11:11,375
Is it?
234
00:11:20,875 --> 00:11:22,624
What are you doing today?
235
00:11:22,625 --> 00:11:26,082
Besides judging your T-shirt?
Going over to Cuff's.
236
00:11:26,083 --> 00:11:29,165
You should have
him come here.
237
00:11:29,166 --> 00:11:33,207
I'm not worried about
Rachel remembering my birthday.
238
00:11:33,208 --> 00:11:34,874
She's all about Rachel.
239
00:11:34,875 --> 00:11:36,707
She'll self-distract.
240
00:11:36,708 --> 00:11:38,999
But having Cuff here
will keep Dad nice and busy
241
00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:40,707
when he gets home from work.
242
00:11:40,708 --> 00:11:42,624
Cuff here?
Crazy bad call.
243
00:11:42,625 --> 00:11:44,874
You know
Dad can't stand him.
244
00:11:44,875 --> 00:11:47,749
Okay, but going over
to his place?
245
00:11:47,750 --> 00:11:50,124
Not exactly the power move.
246
00:11:50,125 --> 00:11:51,999
Don't you have something
lame to build?
247
00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:53,582
I'm just sayin'.
248
00:11:53,583 --> 00:11:56,249
Jay Z always went over
to Beyoncé's house.
249
00:11:56,250 --> 00:11:57,750
That's a well-known fact.
250
00:12:00,708 --> 00:12:02,707
Pretty sure
I got in her head.
251
00:12:02,708 --> 00:12:06,290
The plan is
working perfectly.
Everyone's busy.
252
00:12:06,291 --> 00:12:09,415
Butt, get ready
for the sweet seat.
253
00:12:09,416 --> 00:12:12,249
You're good.
I'm in awe.
254
00:12:12,250 --> 00:12:14,375
And a little bit scared.
255
00:12:16,958 --> 00:12:19,415
- No!
- (Suzy screams)
256
00:12:19,416 --> 00:12:21,874
Are you hiding again?
257
00:12:21,875 --> 00:12:23,374
Of course I am.
258
00:12:23,375 --> 00:12:24,999
When you've got seven kids,
if they see you,
259
00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:26,582
they're gonna ask you
for something.
260
00:12:26,583 --> 00:12:28,874
Like right there.
You just asked me a question.
261
00:12:28,875 --> 00:12:30,249
I thought you were
dying your hair.
262
00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:31,874
And another.
263
00:12:31,875 --> 00:12:33,999
Well, I can see this
isn't gonna happen.
264
00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:38,207
So I finished my hair,
and it went great.
265
00:12:38,208 --> 00:12:40,457
Turns out you shouldn't
just throw away the directions.
266
00:12:40,458 --> 00:12:42,415
If you were good at
reading directions,
267
00:12:42,416 --> 00:12:44,457
I wouldn't have broken
my tooth on your quiche.
268
00:12:44,458 --> 00:12:47,249
Anyway, I have some
unexpected down time,
269
00:12:47,250 --> 00:12:49,749
which is good because
I've had this feeling all day
270
00:12:49,750 --> 00:12:51,250
like I'm
forgetting something.
271
00:12:53,583 --> 00:12:57,124
Maybe it's
a cleaning thing.
272
00:12:57,125 --> 00:13:00,082
The upstairs bathroom should
definitely be on some list.
273
00:13:00,083 --> 00:13:01,457
No, I already bumped
that to next week.
274
00:13:01,458 --> 00:13:04,082
Didn't you bump that
last week?
275
00:13:04,083 --> 00:13:06,457
See, this is why
I was under the desk.
276
00:13:06,458 --> 00:13:08,333
Let me check
my day planner.
277
00:13:13,166 --> 00:13:14,457
Harley!
278
00:13:14,458 --> 00:13:17,707
That was an accident.
279
00:13:17,708 --> 00:13:19,124
I had a muscle spasm.
280
00:13:19,125 --> 00:13:20,999
Oh, there it goes again.
281
00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:24,375
You should probably take me
to see someone about that.
282
00:13:29,750 --> 00:13:32,332
I'm guessing
I'm punished.
283
00:13:32,333 --> 00:13:34,583
I set out to get
the sweet seat.
284
00:13:37,000 --> 00:13:39,208
This is not it.
285
00:13:53,166 --> 00:13:54,499
Mom's no dummy.
286
00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:56,499
She knew if she
pushed this off long enough,
287
00:13:56,500 --> 00:13:58,999
one of us would
get punished and
end up doing it.
288
00:13:59,000 --> 00:14:00,874
I'm down 20 bucks,
a sweater,
289
00:14:00,875 --> 00:14:02,749
and I had to do this.
290
00:14:02,750 --> 00:14:04,457
If I don't get
the sweet seat,
291
00:14:04,458 --> 00:14:06,583
this will be
the worst birthday ever.
292
00:14:10,458 --> 00:14:13,457
Now I need
a haz-mat suit.
293
00:14:13,458 --> 00:14:15,582
I'm going shopping
at the mall.
294
00:14:15,583 --> 00:14:17,749
You should, too.
295
00:14:17,750 --> 00:14:19,457
At least Daphne
has a cute sweater on.
296
00:14:19,458 --> 00:14:21,290
I thought Cuff
was coming here.
297
00:14:21,291 --> 00:14:23,582
Nah, he got a new ATV
he's riding around.
298
00:14:23,583 --> 00:14:25,582
Fun!
299
00:14:25,583 --> 00:14:28,082
He should totally come over
and give you a ride.
300
00:14:28,083 --> 00:14:31,874
Hello? Helmet hair.
No thanks.
301
00:14:31,875 --> 00:14:34,165
Okay, but everyone knows
the first girl
302
00:14:34,166 --> 00:14:36,124
to ride on the back
of a guy's bike
303
00:14:36,125 --> 00:14:37,957
becomes his lady.
304
00:14:37,958 --> 00:14:41,582
How do you think Beyoncé
got Jay Z to put a ring on it?
305
00:14:41,583 --> 00:14:43,707
Yeah. I'm not taking advice
from a person
306
00:14:43,708 --> 00:14:46,083
dressed like a trash can.
307
00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:50,457
This is bad.
308
00:14:50,458 --> 00:14:52,583
I need Cuff here
to keep Dad busy.
309
00:14:53,875 --> 00:14:55,457
I want ice cream
from a truck.
310
00:14:55,458 --> 00:14:57,999
Enough, thug life.
I'm your older sister--
311
00:14:58,000 --> 00:15:00,375
You got ten minutes
or I'll start talking.
312
00:15:01,500 --> 00:15:03,082
She's mellowing.
313
00:15:03,083 --> 00:15:05,874
I remember when she'd
only give you five minutes.
314
00:15:05,875 --> 00:15:07,582
(sighs)
315
00:15:07,583 --> 00:15:11,082
My plan to keep
everyone busy is unraveling.
316
00:15:11,083 --> 00:15:12,582
I can't take Daphne
for ice cream,
317
00:15:12,583 --> 00:15:15,832
and leave Mom home alone
with all that free time.
318
00:15:15,833 --> 00:15:18,332
There's a place
that has ice cream
319
00:15:18,333 --> 00:15:21,207
and keeps Mom busy
trying to wrangle her kids.
320
00:15:21,208 --> 00:15:22,875
The park.
321
00:15:24,416 --> 00:15:26,874
Of course. Why didn't
I think of that?
322
00:15:26,875 --> 00:15:29,875
Well, you're under
a lot of pressure
avoiding your special day.
323
00:15:35,166 --> 00:15:38,832
(kids screaming)
324
00:15:38,833 --> 00:15:41,832
Harley, why would you
buy them that?
325
00:15:41,833 --> 00:15:43,499
It makes them crazy.
326
00:15:43,500 --> 00:15:45,165
I said no more ice cream.
327
00:15:45,166 --> 00:15:48,165
Oh, I thought you said
more ice cream.
328
00:15:48,166 --> 00:15:50,082
Just trying to help...
329
00:15:50,083 --> 00:15:51,957
Get back here, kids.
330
00:15:51,958 --> 00:15:53,957
...myself.
331
00:15:53,958 --> 00:15:56,333
It's beautiful when
a plan comes together.
332
00:16:00,583 --> 00:16:02,874
I was video chatting
my friend in Germany,
333
00:16:02,875 --> 00:16:05,957
and she told me it is
not International High Five Day.
334
00:16:05,958 --> 00:16:08,165
I'm the laughingstock
of Dusseldorf.
335
00:16:08,166 --> 00:16:11,165
But I know today
is something special.
336
00:16:11,166 --> 00:16:12,832
(gasps)
337
00:16:12,833 --> 00:16:16,499
It's not my anniversary,
is it?
338
00:16:16,500 --> 00:16:19,999
It's, um...
National Sandwich Day.
339
00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:22,749
And all you can do
is bologna and cheese?
340
00:16:22,750 --> 00:16:25,124
This started out as
bologna and graham crackers,
341
00:16:25,125 --> 00:16:27,125
until I found the bread.
342
00:16:32,416 --> 00:16:34,874
That's what today is.
(gasps)
343
00:16:34,875 --> 00:16:36,875
- Hey!
- Should get
some milk with that.
344
00:16:38,958 --> 00:16:41,374
Harley doesn't want
anyone to know
it's her birthday.
345
00:16:41,375 --> 00:16:42,999
Okay. Wait, why?
346
00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:46,415
I'll explain it later.
We have to grab
that calendar
347
00:16:46,416 --> 00:16:48,707
before Dad sees it.
I'll distract him.
348
00:16:48,708 --> 00:16:51,249
Hey, Dad, I wanna
play you something.
349
00:16:51,250 --> 00:16:54,165
It's for my new band,
Shame Spiral.
350
00:16:54,166 --> 00:16:57,457
♪ Ooh, you got it, girl ♪
351
00:16:57,458 --> 00:17:01,707
♪ Like a bologna sandwich ♪
352
00:17:01,708 --> 00:17:04,874
♪ You got me in
a haze like ♪
353
00:17:04,875 --> 00:17:08,124
♪ Expired mayonnaise ♪
Take it, Georgie.
354
00:17:08,125 --> 00:17:11,165
Mustard, ketchup.
355
00:17:11,166 --> 00:17:13,415
Condiments
in general.
356
00:17:13,416 --> 00:17:15,165
Returning it
to Ethan.
357
00:17:15,166 --> 00:17:18,165
Um...
We are Shame Spiral.
358
00:17:18,166 --> 00:17:21,125
Wow, uh... at least
the band name's appropriate.
359
00:17:26,291 --> 00:17:29,707
Sh! I don't want
your sister to find out.
360
00:17:29,708 --> 00:17:31,874
So you know?
361
00:17:31,875 --> 00:17:33,374
Of course.
362
00:17:33,375 --> 00:17:35,624
Can't leave cake
around Daphne.
363
00:17:35,625 --> 00:17:37,207
Daphne?
364
00:17:37,208 --> 00:17:39,874
It was Tony's birthday
at work.
365
00:17:39,875 --> 00:17:41,874
I thought Daphne
would sniff this out,
366
00:17:41,875 --> 00:17:43,957
but I got smart.
I put coffee grounds around it,
367
00:17:43,958 --> 00:17:45,458
put her off the scent.
368
00:17:47,833 --> 00:17:49,999
Mm-mm.
369
00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:52,166
Okay, well, that bite
is mostly grounds.
370
00:17:54,083 --> 00:17:55,958
(kids screaming)
371
00:17:57,875 --> 00:18:00,582
I don't think
I've ever been so tired.
372
00:18:00,583 --> 00:18:02,874
You look tired.
373
00:18:02,875 --> 00:18:05,165
Well, in a few hours,
when we go home,
374
00:18:05,166 --> 00:18:07,500
you should probably
go right to bed.
375
00:18:09,166 --> 00:18:10,582
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
376
00:18:10,583 --> 00:18:15,707
♪ Happy birthday,
dear Missy ♪
377
00:18:15,708 --> 00:18:18,458
Hang on.
What day is it?
378
00:18:20,708 --> 00:18:22,874
Rachel?
379
00:18:22,875 --> 00:18:25,457
Whoo hoo!
Faster, Cuff. Gun it!
380
00:18:25,458 --> 00:18:29,124
Rachel! Get off
that death machine!
381
00:18:29,125 --> 00:18:31,457
Rachel! Rachel!
382
00:18:31,458 --> 00:18:34,999
Mom and Dad are going
to be so mad at her for this,
383
00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:37,582
they'll probably forget
my next birthday.
384
00:18:37,583 --> 00:18:39,874
I know you see me!
I know you see me!
385
00:18:39,875 --> 00:18:41,500
Hello!
386
00:18:42,708 --> 00:18:44,874
You are so dead
if you get hurt.
387
00:18:44,875 --> 00:18:47,000
- Whoo hoo!
- Put your arms down.
388
00:18:50,500 --> 00:18:52,874
Thanks for helping Ethan
keep my secret.
389
00:18:52,875 --> 00:18:55,499
Sure. But I don't get why
you'd want everyone to forget
390
00:18:55,500 --> 00:18:57,290
your special day.
391
00:18:57,291 --> 00:18:59,749
That's because you haven't
had a six-hour car ride
392
00:18:59,750 --> 00:19:01,999
with Beast using your head
as bongo drums.
393
00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:04,249
No, I mean, you're going
to miss your birthday,
394
00:19:04,250 --> 00:19:05,832
and the box.
395
00:19:05,833 --> 00:19:08,124
That's our family
tradition.
396
00:19:08,125 --> 00:19:09,749
None of us have ever
missed out on it.
397
00:19:09,750 --> 00:19:11,874
But a birthday's
just a day.
398
00:19:11,875 --> 00:19:13,582
The sweet seat's
forever.
399
00:19:13,583 --> 00:19:17,457
But celebrating together
as a family won't be.
400
00:19:17,458 --> 00:19:19,415
Soon, Rachel will be
out of the house,
401
00:19:19,416 --> 00:19:21,082
me and Ethan right after.
402
00:19:21,083 --> 00:19:23,165
You just turned 13;
you're not that far behind.
403
00:19:23,166 --> 00:19:26,207
But I support
whatever you want.
404
00:19:26,208 --> 00:19:28,749
On behalf of
the whole family,
405
00:19:28,750 --> 00:19:30,416
happy birthday.
406
00:19:51,291 --> 00:19:53,290
Guilt.
407
00:19:53,291 --> 00:19:55,332
It could work for you,
408
00:19:55,333 --> 00:19:56,958
or it could work
against you.
409
00:20:01,833 --> 00:20:03,957
Darn you, Georgie.
410
00:20:03,958 --> 00:20:07,249
I hate that I love
that birthday box.
411
00:20:07,250 --> 00:20:09,249
But I do.
412
00:20:09,250 --> 00:20:10,750
Bring it on.
413
00:20:13,875 --> 00:20:15,707
Hey, everyone,
it's my--
414
00:20:15,708 --> 00:20:22,208
ALL: ♪ ...birthday to you ♪
415
00:20:29,333 --> 00:20:30,999
Did you know that
you were born on
416
00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:32,833
- National Sandwich Day?
- What?
417
00:20:34,708 --> 00:20:37,165
Honey, I'm so sorry
we almost forgot
your birthday.
418
00:20:37,166 --> 00:20:39,082
What can we do
to make it up?
419
00:20:39,083 --> 00:20:41,457
- Better seat in the car?
- No problem.
420
00:20:41,458 --> 00:20:43,000
In four years.
421
00:20:45,291 --> 00:20:46,832
As a middle kid,
422
00:20:46,833 --> 00:20:48,707
I'm overlooked
all the time.
423
00:20:48,708 --> 00:20:50,707
I guess it just
felt wrong
424
00:20:50,708 --> 00:20:54,249
missing the one day
where I'm not supposed to be.
425
00:20:54,250 --> 00:20:56,166
Okay, Harley gets
the first piece.
426
00:21:01,500 --> 00:21:05,875
Okay, Harley, smile.
427
00:21:07,875 --> 00:21:11,082
Oh, well.
There's always next year.
428
00:21:11,083 --> 00:21:12,874
♪ Lighting up the world
with a little smile ♪
429
00:21:12,875 --> 00:21:15,124
♪ She's on the rise ♪
430
00:21:15,125 --> 00:21:20,375
(music)
431
00:21:43,875 --> 00:21:45,000
{\an8}(horn honking)
31219
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