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1
00:00:01,268 --> 00:00:03,568
Hey, Paul, I checked
the etiquette handbook
on this one.
2
00:00:03,637 --> 00:00:05,570
Having all your friends
lug your furniture
3
00:00:05,639 --> 00:00:07,606
Up 4 flights of stairs
to your new apartment
4
00:00:07,674 --> 00:00:11,676
Is not, technically,
a housewarming party.
5
00:00:11,745 --> 00:00:13,379
How can I thank you guys?
6
00:00:13,447 --> 00:00:15,381
I mean, 8 solid,
sweaty hours of moving.
7
00:00:15,449 --> 00:00:16,882
How can I ever repay you?
8
00:00:16,950 --> 00:00:18,384
Will this be
all together?
9
00:00:18,452 --> 00:00:19,951
No, no, no.
Separate checks.
10
00:00:23,457 --> 00:00:25,391
Hey, James. You got
that 10 bucks you owe me?
11
00:00:25,459 --> 00:00:27,359
Sure. Here you go.
12
00:00:27,428 --> 00:00:28,894
I'm sorry I let go
of that armoire.
13
00:00:28,962 --> 00:00:30,062
That thing
would have gone
14
00:00:30,131 --> 00:00:31,963
All the way down
to the bottom of
the stairs
15
00:00:32,033 --> 00:00:34,266
If James hadn't reached
out and stopped it
with his face.
16
00:00:34,335 --> 00:00:36,902
Hey, James. You got
that 10 bucks you owe me?
17
00:00:36,970 --> 00:00:38,037
Sure.
18
00:00:39,773 --> 00:00:41,340
Well, Paul,
your new apartment
19
00:00:41,409 --> 00:00:43,975
Confirms your status as
the cheapest man alive.
20
00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:45,911
I didn't take
that apartment
because of the price.
21
00:00:45,979 --> 00:00:49,915
I wanted to move
to harlem.
22
00:00:49,983 --> 00:00:54,053
I happen to appreciate
its rich cultural heritage.
23
00:00:54,121 --> 00:00:55,921
Paul, tell me
one thing about
harlem's rich
24
00:00:55,989 --> 00:00:58,257
Cultural
heritage that
you appreciate.
25
00:00:58,325 --> 00:01:01,093
The globetrotters.
26
00:01:28,956 --> 00:01:30,989
Finally, the olympic
torch will be
27
00:01:31,058 --> 00:01:33,225
Arriving here tomorrow
on its way to sydney.
28
00:01:33,294 --> 00:01:34,226
Sidney?
29
00:01:34,295 --> 00:01:35,827
Why does sidney
get the torch, Mike?
30
00:01:35,896 --> 00:01:37,962
He gets everything.
31
00:01:42,903 --> 00:01:44,336
Sydney, australia,
James.
32
00:01:44,405 --> 00:01:46,972
Not sidney
in accounting.
33
00:01:47,975 --> 00:01:50,008
Ok, then.
34
00:01:50,077 --> 00:01:52,277
A nigerian delegation
will hand the torch
off to the mayor,
35
00:01:52,346 --> 00:01:54,580
Who will then run
a ceremonial lap
36
00:01:54,648 --> 00:01:56,781
Around city hall
carrying the flame.
37
00:01:56,850 --> 00:01:59,784
Stuart, you will run
a ceremonial lap
around city hall
38
00:01:59,853 --> 00:02:02,020
Carrying a fire
extinguisher.
39
00:02:02,089 --> 00:02:04,756
Mike, why don't you just
tell us this tomorrow?
40
00:02:04,825 --> 00:02:07,726
Because tomorrow
I am going to be
on vacation,
41
00:02:07,794 --> 00:02:09,661
As you all know
perfectly well.
42
00:02:09,730 --> 00:02:11,062
Oh, poppycock.
43
00:02:11,132 --> 00:02:13,265
Mike, that
means nonsense
44
00:02:13,334 --> 00:02:15,367
When translated
from the gay.
45
00:02:21,875 --> 00:02:22,874
He's right, Mike.
46
00:02:22,943 --> 00:02:24,676
I've never even seen
you take a day off.
47
00:02:24,745 --> 00:02:25,877
You worked last christmas.
48
00:02:25,946 --> 00:02:27,846
I wasn't
the only one here.
49
00:02:27,914 --> 00:02:30,315
There was also
murray goldstein...
50
00:02:34,221 --> 00:02:37,989
And, of course,
sidney in accounting.
51
00:02:38,058 --> 00:02:39,458
Hey, Mike.
52
00:02:39,527 --> 00:02:41,426
Hey, sir. You all ready
for your run tomorrow?
53
00:02:41,495 --> 00:02:42,628
I don't know, Mike.
54
00:02:42,696 --> 00:02:44,596
Pulled my groin
this morning.
55
00:02:44,665 --> 00:02:46,331
Oh, no.
56
00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:48,367
Yeah. Felt so good,
I pulled it again.
57
00:02:52,406 --> 00:02:54,439
I've been killing
with that all day.
58
00:02:57,411 --> 00:02:58,710
Isn't Mike just the cutest,
59
00:02:58,779 --> 00:03:01,046
The way he opens his letters?
60
00:03:02,216 --> 00:03:04,650
Oh, yeah. I get all woozy
61
00:03:04,718 --> 00:03:07,286
Whenever I see
the mail cart coming.
62
00:03:08,889 --> 00:03:10,289
So, what's with you?
63
00:03:10,357 --> 00:03:11,657
I can't take it anymore.
64
00:03:11,725 --> 00:03:14,293
Mike this, Mike that,
Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike.
65
00:03:14,361 --> 00:03:16,895
It's like chinese
Mike torture.
66
00:03:16,963 --> 00:03:19,665
Fine, I won't
mention Mike again.
67
00:03:19,733 --> 00:03:20,799
Thank you.
68
00:03:20,867 --> 00:03:23,168
From now on I'll
call him Arthur.
69
00:03:23,237 --> 00:03:25,337
As in king Arthur
of camelot.
70
00:03:25,406 --> 00:03:27,172
Oh, that'll be
much less annoying.
71
00:03:27,241 --> 00:03:28,340
Ohhhhhh.
72
00:03:28,409 --> 00:03:30,676
When I was a little girl,
I used to dream that
73
00:03:30,744 --> 00:03:33,111
I was gwenevere and
my big pillow was Arthur.
74
00:03:33,180 --> 00:03:35,681
Oh, yeah. I used to
play the same game.
75
00:03:35,749 --> 00:03:37,181
Except my pillow
was gwenevere
76
00:03:37,251 --> 00:03:39,318
And I was sir humpalot.
77
00:03:45,259 --> 00:03:47,426
Watch it. Arthur
is sacred to me.
78
00:03:47,494 --> 00:03:48,427
Who's Arthur?
79
00:03:48,495 --> 00:03:50,529
Nikki's new boyfriend.
80
00:03:50,598 --> 00:03:53,064
That's it, suckers.
I'm on vacation.
81
00:03:53,133 --> 00:03:55,467
Hey, Mike. Did you hear
Nikki's got a new boyfriend?
82
00:03:55,536 --> 00:03:57,269
Really?
83
00:03:57,338 --> 00:03:58,937
No--no kidding,
that's, uh...
84
00:03:59,005 --> 00:04:01,206
That's great, Nikki.
I'm happy for you.
85
00:04:01,275 --> 00:04:02,708
Thanks.
86
00:04:02,776 --> 00:04:04,209
What's he do?
87
00:04:04,278 --> 00:04:07,713
Yeah. What's he do?
88
00:04:07,781 --> 00:04:09,581
He, uh...
89
00:04:09,650 --> 00:04:11,717
Makes swords.
90
00:04:12,986 --> 00:04:14,453
I wouldn't think
there'd be
91
00:04:14,521 --> 00:04:16,087
Much call for
that anymore.
92
00:04:16,156 --> 00:04:18,990
What with
the invention
of the gun.
93
00:04:20,661 --> 00:04:22,060
Hey, you know what?
94
00:04:22,129 --> 00:04:23,595
Why don't we have
dinner together?
95
00:04:23,664 --> 00:04:25,096
How about tomorrow night?
96
00:04:25,165 --> 00:04:27,432
Can you make reservations
for us at the landmark?
97
00:04:27,501 --> 00:04:29,100
Sure, Mike.
98
00:04:29,169 --> 00:04:31,236
Get ya a nice,
round table.
99
00:04:34,675 --> 00:04:36,742
Carter, janelle.
My peeps.
100
00:04:42,683 --> 00:04:44,115
What did he
call us?
101
00:04:44,184 --> 00:04:45,617
I just wanted
to tell you guys
102
00:04:45,686 --> 00:04:47,753
How much I love it
up in harlem.
103
00:04:47,821 --> 00:04:50,756
I just didn't want to
say it around--them.
104
00:04:52,859 --> 00:04:54,793
Who's them, Paul?
105
00:04:54,861 --> 00:04:56,628
You know...
106
00:04:56,697 --> 00:04:58,897
White people.
107
00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:02,567
Ohhhh. Them.
108
00:05:02,636 --> 00:05:04,569
Hey, janelle.
You know you and Paul
109
00:05:04,638 --> 00:05:06,571
Only live a few blocks
from each other.
110
00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:08,840
You two should do
things together.
111
00:05:08,909 --> 00:05:10,074
You know, it's true.
112
00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:13,077
I mean, we could hang,
you know, in the hood.
113
00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:16,682
In fact, maybe we could
share cabs to work.
114
00:05:16,750 --> 00:05:20,919
Oh, yeah. Maybe now
I can actually get one.
115
00:05:20,987 --> 00:05:22,587
I tell ya,
I love it up there.
116
00:05:22,656 --> 00:05:25,223
I mean, you have
the restaurants
and the shops--
117
00:05:25,292 --> 00:05:28,560
And the music.
Well, I've always
loved the black music.
118
00:05:28,629 --> 00:05:30,629
Paul, 2 weeks ago
you thought
119
00:05:30,698 --> 00:05:33,799
Puffy combs was
a breakfast cereal.
120
00:05:33,867 --> 00:05:37,035
Well, that was then,
girlfriend.
121
00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:47,612
Morning, guys.
122
00:05:47,681 --> 00:05:48,613
Morning.
123
00:05:48,682 --> 00:05:50,248
James?
124
00:05:50,317 --> 00:05:52,851
I owe you $10, don't i?
125
00:05:53,887 --> 00:05:55,554
This is gonna be heaven.
126
00:05:55,622 --> 00:05:57,356
A whole week
without the boss.
127
00:05:57,424 --> 00:05:59,057
Hey, good morning,
everybody.
128
00:05:59,125 --> 00:06:01,259
Welcome to day one
of my vacation.
129
00:06:02,896 --> 00:06:05,564
Mike, the nigerian
delegation is here
with the torch.
130
00:06:05,632 --> 00:06:06,631
Ah--ah--ah.
I'm on vacation.
131
00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:08,233
I'll take care of it.
132
00:06:08,301 --> 00:06:09,568
I can't believe
they'd let
133
00:06:09,636 --> 00:06:10,935
A live flame
into city hall.
134
00:06:11,004 --> 00:06:13,071
I mean,
other than Carter.
135
00:06:14,842 --> 00:06:16,875
This is just sad.
136
00:06:16,943 --> 00:06:20,779
You mean sad in
a kind of cool way, right?
137
00:06:20,848 --> 00:06:26,117
No. Sad in a star trek convention kind of way.
138
00:06:26,186 --> 00:06:29,988
(Imitating captain kirk)
Mike. You need to
explore new worlds.
139
00:06:31,825 --> 00:06:33,458
To investigate
new experiences.
140
00:06:33,527 --> 00:06:36,961
To boldly go away
from the office
for at least...
141
00:06:37,030 --> 00:06:38,096
One day.
142
00:06:41,034 --> 00:06:44,102
You can do that
impression that well,
143
00:06:44,170 --> 00:06:46,738
And I'm the sad one.
144
00:06:49,610 --> 00:06:52,977
Wakim is the speed walking
champion of our country.
145
00:06:53,046 --> 00:06:57,449
fi fun mayor yin ni je nkan nla, gbogbo aralu.
146
00:06:57,518 --> 00:07:00,886
I got "fun mayor."
147
00:07:00,954 --> 00:07:03,922
He says presenting
the mayor with
the olympic torch
148
00:07:03,990 --> 00:07:05,924
Is a great honor
for him
149
00:07:05,992 --> 00:07:07,825
And his entire
village.
150
00:07:07,894 --> 00:07:10,028
You know, I consider
myself quite the walker.
151
00:07:10,096 --> 00:07:15,066
I could blow the doors
off this guy.
152
00:07:15,135 --> 00:07:16,935
Now we'll be entering
the rotunda,
153
00:07:17,003 --> 00:07:21,573
Which was built by
mayor fiorello la guardia
in 1941.
154
00:07:21,642 --> 00:07:24,242
This way.
Come on, people.
We're walking here.
155
00:07:24,311 --> 00:07:26,377
Let's go.
We're walking.
156
00:07:26,447 --> 00:07:27,512
Walking?
157
00:07:34,154 --> 00:07:37,388
Mike, the parameters within
which you've defined yourself
158
00:07:37,458 --> 00:07:40,391
Are all work-oriented,
leaving little or
no opportunity
159
00:07:40,461 --> 00:07:43,495
For you to grow through
normal social interaction.
160
00:07:45,966 --> 00:07:48,066
English, please.
161
00:07:48,134 --> 00:07:50,769
Get a life.
162
00:07:50,838 --> 00:07:53,404
Well, we're
a little testy today,
aren't we, doc?
163
00:07:53,474 --> 00:07:56,741
Having troubles at home
with mrs. Shrink?
164
00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:58,743
(Laughing nervously)
165
00:08:01,414 --> 00:08:03,081
Look, Mike,
why don't we try
166
00:08:03,149 --> 00:08:05,083
A little word
association, ok?
167
00:08:05,151 --> 00:08:06,417
Corral.
168
00:08:06,487 --> 00:08:09,120
I'm sorry,
I thought we started.
169
00:08:09,189 --> 00:08:11,289
Look, I don't think
you can decipher
170
00:08:11,358 --> 00:08:13,224
Complex human behavior
by playing a little--
171
00:08:13,293 --> 00:08:14,225
Home.
Work.
172
00:08:14,294 --> 00:08:15,727
Damn.
173
00:08:15,796 --> 00:08:17,362
Fun.
Office.
174
00:08:17,430 --> 00:08:18,763
Office.
175
00:08:18,832 --> 00:08:21,533
What? Did they call?
176
00:08:21,602 --> 00:08:23,735
And you honestly
don't think you have
177
00:08:23,804 --> 00:08:26,004
An abnormal attachment
to your job?
178
00:08:26,072 --> 00:08:28,740
No, I don't.
179
00:08:28,809 --> 00:08:31,877
Why do you
have a picture of
city hall on your wall?
180
00:08:38,819 --> 00:08:41,052
Did anybody see
a half-naked man
181
00:08:41,121 --> 00:08:43,854
Speed walk through
here with a torch?
182
00:08:43,923 --> 00:08:46,992
Not today.
183
00:08:47,060 --> 00:08:48,393
Mike's gonna kill me.
184
00:08:48,461 --> 00:08:50,595
Wait here.
I'll be right back.
185
00:08:50,664 --> 00:08:52,430
Carter.
186
00:08:52,499 --> 00:08:53,932
We've got to
do something.
187
00:08:54,001 --> 00:08:55,266
Paul's out
of control.
188
00:08:55,335 --> 00:08:56,902
Janelle, Paul
is just trying
189
00:08:56,970 --> 00:08:59,203
To assimilate into
his new community.
190
00:08:59,272 --> 00:09:00,906
Don't you think you're
overreacting a little?
191
00:09:03,777 --> 00:09:05,410
Hey, everybody.
192
00:09:09,482 --> 00:09:11,850
Hey, I almost
bought that hat.
193
00:09:14,254 --> 00:09:16,387
Boy, wouldn't
that have been
embarrassing, huh?
194
00:09:19,292 --> 00:09:21,059
Guess what
I got at lunch.
195
00:09:21,127 --> 00:09:23,728
Upholstered?
196
00:09:23,797 --> 00:09:26,865
Janelle, claudia and I
got some extra tickets
197
00:09:26,934 --> 00:09:29,768
For this saturday
night's def comedy jam.
198
00:09:29,836 --> 00:09:31,069
We're gonna be
front row.
199
00:09:31,137 --> 00:09:33,371
Close enough so the comics
can talk to us.
200
00:09:39,947 --> 00:09:42,881
Oh. I've got an ad
on the internet,
201
00:09:42,950 --> 00:09:43,848
I'm making calls.
202
00:09:43,917 --> 00:09:45,750
How hard is it
to find a single,
203
00:09:45,819 --> 00:09:47,619
Attractive,
sword-making Arthur?
204
00:09:47,688 --> 00:09:49,253
I got one.
205
00:09:49,322 --> 00:09:51,756
He works in fashion,
he loves the opera,
206
00:09:51,825 --> 00:09:54,392
And every friday night
he goes dancing with
his buddies.
207
00:09:54,461 --> 00:09:55,994
He sounds gay.
208
00:09:56,063 --> 00:09:58,396
I know.
I said I got one.
209
00:10:00,366 --> 00:10:02,901
Come on. Let us
take you to lunch.
210
00:10:02,970 --> 00:10:03,969
Carter's treat.
211
00:10:04,037 --> 00:10:06,270
No, I gotta
stay here.
212
00:10:06,339 --> 00:10:07,405
All right.
213
00:10:12,345 --> 00:10:13,912
This is hopeless.
214
00:10:16,349 --> 00:10:18,683
(Trumpets play)
215
00:10:27,193 --> 00:10:29,960
Hi, I'm Arthur.
216
00:10:31,698 --> 00:10:34,298
Ok, Mike, I'm afraid
our time is up.
217
00:10:34,367 --> 00:10:36,935
I think we made a lot
of progress today.
218
00:10:37,004 --> 00:10:38,436
I hope you're
feeling better.
219
00:10:40,940 --> 00:10:42,941
Ok, go do something fun.
220
00:10:44,778 --> 00:10:46,444
You're right, doc.
221
00:10:46,513 --> 00:10:47,646
I'm not setting foot
222
00:10:47,714 --> 00:10:49,313
In the office
again today.
223
00:10:49,382 --> 00:10:51,816
Nope, no work.
224
00:10:51,885 --> 00:10:54,051
(Cheering)
225
00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:08,399
They're not making
this easy for me.
226
00:11:18,444 --> 00:11:23,247
All right.
We got an hour
to find torch man.
227
00:11:23,316 --> 00:11:26,784
What would Mike do
in this situation?
228
00:11:26,852 --> 00:11:28,053
Mike?
229
00:11:32,392 --> 00:11:34,959
No, no, no.
I'm not even here.
230
00:11:35,028 --> 00:11:37,162
Think, guys. Where
should we look?
231
00:11:38,298 --> 00:11:39,998
First word.
232
00:11:40,066 --> 00:11:41,166
Sounds like...
233
00:11:41,234 --> 00:11:43,467
Shmembassy.
234
00:11:45,906 --> 00:11:47,371
Police chief carney's
on one.
235
00:11:47,440 --> 00:11:48,773
What do we tell him?
236
00:11:48,842 --> 00:11:51,375
Well, tell him if he
ever grabs my ass again,
237
00:11:51,444 --> 00:11:52,877
I'm calling his wife.
238
00:11:52,946 --> 00:11:53,878
All right,
I'm coming in.
239
00:11:53,947 --> 00:11:55,279
Ah-ah.
240
00:11:55,348 --> 00:11:57,315
I'm gonna tell him
to put out an all-
points bulletin.
241
00:11:57,383 --> 00:11:58,416
No!
242
00:12:07,427 --> 00:12:08,760
Hi, chief.
Yeah, it's Mike.
243
00:12:08,829 --> 00:12:11,129
Listen, we want
to stay kind of
low-key on this,
244
00:12:11,198 --> 00:12:12,764
So just tell
your patrolmen
245
00:12:12,833 --> 00:12:15,299
To keep their eyes
open, all right?
246
00:12:15,368 --> 00:12:17,268
What's he wearing?
247
00:12:17,337 --> 00:12:20,138
He's carrying
a torch.
248
00:12:20,207 --> 00:12:21,139
All right, great.
249
00:12:21,208 --> 00:12:22,640
Stuart, James,
find out where
250
00:12:22,709 --> 00:12:24,609
The tour bus
lets off, all right?
251
00:12:24,677 --> 00:12:26,211
Stacy, get me
the nigerian
consulate
252
00:12:26,279 --> 00:12:28,113
On the phone.
253
00:12:29,716 --> 00:12:31,282
Nice vacation.
254
00:12:31,351 --> 00:12:33,952
Yeah, I'm
enjoying myself.
255
00:12:34,020 --> 00:12:36,287
Mike, you're sitting
in your in box.
256
00:12:39,726 --> 00:12:41,826
This is weird.
You have a problem.
257
00:12:41,895 --> 00:12:44,763
Well, my--my feet
have not touched
that floor.
258
00:12:50,237 --> 00:12:52,237
You're wrong, you know.
259
00:12:52,305 --> 00:12:53,738
I don't have a problem.
260
00:12:53,807 --> 00:12:54,739
I'm not crazy.
261
00:12:56,676 --> 00:12:59,911
And I can make
that jump.
262
00:12:59,980 --> 00:13:01,880
Paul, the mayor
wants you to schedule
263
00:13:01,948 --> 00:13:03,681
A press conference
after his torch run.
264
00:13:03,750 --> 00:13:05,817
Word up.
265
00:13:11,457 --> 00:13:12,690
Carter.
266
00:13:14,761 --> 00:13:16,694
If it doesn't stop,
267
00:13:16,763 --> 00:13:19,798
I'm gonna beat this man.
268
00:13:19,866 --> 00:13:22,233
Paul, I know
you probably
don't realize it,
269
00:13:22,302 --> 00:13:24,735
But what you're actually
doing is playing into
270
00:13:24,805 --> 00:13:27,205
Every offensive ethnic
stereotype in the book.
271
00:13:27,274 --> 00:13:29,207
Just keepin' it real, yo.
272
00:13:35,515 --> 00:13:37,215
Janelle, beat this man.
273
00:13:39,286 --> 00:13:41,286
Paul, you're not black.
274
00:13:41,354 --> 00:13:43,221
No more dashikis,
275
00:13:43,290 --> 00:13:45,089
No more street lingo,
276
00:13:45,158 --> 00:13:47,491
And please, please,
277
00:13:47,560 --> 00:13:49,760
Stop talking like
you're barry white.
278
00:13:49,830 --> 00:13:52,130
(In low voice)
oh, come on, baby.
279
00:13:59,873 --> 00:14:02,673
Next time we do that,
I'm wearing a saddle.
280
00:14:04,077 --> 00:14:07,111
Whoa! Total deja vu.
281
00:14:10,383 --> 00:14:13,684
All right. I bought us
a couple of hours with
the nigerian delegates.
282
00:14:13,753 --> 00:14:15,954
They're in my office
watching reruns of
thirtysomething.
283
00:14:16,022 --> 00:14:18,522
Thank god for lifetime.
284
00:14:18,591 --> 00:14:20,291
We're scouring the city
for this guy, sir.
285
00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:22,727
Well, as soon as you find
him, you let me know.
286
00:14:22,795 --> 00:14:24,562
I can be ready at
a moment's notice.
287
00:14:27,500 --> 00:14:29,367
Check out the quads.
288
00:14:40,013 --> 00:14:41,946
Uh, Mike,
the tour bus lets off
289
00:14:42,015 --> 00:14:43,581
At the circle line
boat dock.
290
00:14:43,649 --> 00:14:45,016
Ok, great,
I'm going down there.
291
00:14:45,085 --> 00:14:46,084
Who's coming with me?
292
00:14:47,687 --> 00:14:49,254
I'll take bishop tutu.
293
00:15:01,234 --> 00:15:02,333
Well, he's not
below deck.
294
00:15:02,402 --> 00:15:03,368
He's not at the stern.
295
00:15:03,436 --> 00:15:04,936
I thought I saw
a torch back there,
296
00:15:05,005 --> 00:15:07,906
But it was just some
kids trying to set
a pigeon on fire.
297
00:15:07,974 --> 00:15:08,907
What?
298
00:15:08,975 --> 00:15:10,541
Yeah. The thing is,
though,
299
00:15:10,610 --> 00:15:12,410
It must happen
more than we think,
300
00:15:12,478 --> 00:15:15,413
Because the other
pigeons knew exactly
how to put him out.
301
00:15:15,481 --> 00:15:17,081
Oh, thank god.
302
00:15:17,150 --> 00:15:18,416
You know what?
He's not here.
303
00:15:18,484 --> 00:15:20,919
So I say we get off
this boat before...
304
00:15:20,987 --> 00:15:22,753
It leaves the dock.
305
00:15:22,822 --> 00:15:24,889
For 2 1/2 hours.
306
00:15:24,958 --> 00:15:27,091
Now what?
307
00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:30,261
Well, we're gonna be
on this tub for a while,
308
00:15:30,330 --> 00:15:32,730
So I say we make
the most of it.
309
00:15:38,504 --> 00:15:42,573
I'm the deputy mayor
of the world!
310
00:15:59,659 --> 00:16:02,893
So I actually don't
make swords per se.
311
00:16:02,963 --> 00:16:06,497
I restore them for
museums and galleries.
312
00:16:06,566 --> 00:16:08,333
Are your eyes
really that blue?
313
00:16:08,401 --> 00:16:10,368
Colored contacts.
314
00:16:10,437 --> 00:16:12,670
I don't care.
I like them.
315
00:16:12,738 --> 00:16:14,472
When your boss
comes by tonight,
316
00:16:14,540 --> 00:16:15,940
I'm your new boyfriend.
I got that down.
317
00:16:16,009 --> 00:16:17,842
But tell me a little
bit about me.
318
00:16:17,910 --> 00:16:18,977
Am I into you?
319
00:16:19,045 --> 00:16:20,445
My friends think
you're obsessed.
320
00:16:20,513 --> 00:16:22,780
Hey, let 'em talk.
321
00:16:22,849 --> 00:16:24,349
You know, I should
probably tell you,
322
00:16:24,417 --> 00:16:26,351
I kind of made you
into a fantasy guy.
323
00:16:26,419 --> 00:16:28,286
You know,
I said you liked music.
324
00:16:28,355 --> 00:16:30,054
I have season tickets
to the met.
325
00:16:30,123 --> 00:16:32,323
Said you're outdoorsy.
Mountain biker.
326
00:16:32,392 --> 00:16:34,792
I also said that you have
a fabulous sense of humor.
327
00:16:38,931 --> 00:16:41,032
So how many dates
have we been on?
328
00:16:41,101 --> 00:16:43,001
Oh, a bunch. You know,
we're not touchy-feely,
329
00:16:43,069 --> 00:16:44,469
But we probably hold hands.
330
00:16:44,537 --> 00:16:47,638
Or, uh, if you had
a strand of hair
in your face,
331
00:16:47,707 --> 00:16:51,376
I might push it back
behind your ear?
332
00:16:51,444 --> 00:16:53,944
That would work.
333
00:16:54,014 --> 00:16:55,279
And I bet sometimes,
334
00:16:55,348 --> 00:16:58,016
Even though there
are people around,
335
00:16:58,084 --> 00:17:00,351
I can't help giving
you a little kiss.
336
00:17:00,420 --> 00:17:03,954
If you can't help it,
you can't help it.
337
00:17:07,394 --> 00:17:08,792
Well, this is
gonna be really--
338
00:17:11,564 --> 00:17:12,963
(Retching sounds)
339
00:17:14,901 --> 00:17:17,801
Is he down there, Paul?
340
00:17:17,870 --> 00:17:19,237
I don't see him, Mike.
341
00:17:19,305 --> 00:17:21,105
Poor guy,
he's out there,
he's alone.
342
00:17:21,174 --> 00:17:22,373
He's gotta be scared.
343
00:17:22,442 --> 00:17:24,808
I, too, walk
the earth alone.
344
00:17:24,877 --> 00:17:27,345
Paul, you're a big
white guy in a dashiki.
345
00:17:27,414 --> 00:17:29,380
You're lucky you
walk the earth at all.
346
00:17:29,449 --> 00:17:31,149
All right, take it easy,
347
00:17:31,217 --> 00:17:32,816
I'm down. Stop kicking.
348
00:17:32,885 --> 00:17:34,919
Where could he go,
though, you know?
349
00:17:34,987 --> 00:17:38,222
He's a stranger
in a strange land,
350
00:17:38,291 --> 00:17:40,958
He's one of
the huddled masses.
351
00:17:41,027 --> 00:17:42,927
He's poor,
352
00:17:42,995 --> 00:17:44,929
Tired, he's hungry.
353
00:18:15,828 --> 00:18:18,896
Mike: Paul, do you see
2 torches over there?
354
00:18:21,334 --> 00:18:23,267
This flame was lit
atop mount olympus
355
00:18:23,336 --> 00:18:25,403
And then run halfway
around the world,
356
00:18:25,472 --> 00:18:27,271
And now it's my
responsibility
357
00:18:27,340 --> 00:18:29,773
To further its journey,
a journey into history.
358
00:18:29,842 --> 00:18:32,176
History in this case being
a brisk walk down the block
359
00:18:32,245 --> 00:18:34,378
Where you'll hand it
to jason brodowski,
360
00:18:34,447 --> 00:18:37,781
The 11-year-old pie-eating
champion of far rockaway.
361
00:18:37,850 --> 00:18:39,117
Well, here I go.
362
00:18:39,185 --> 00:18:42,086
Keeper of the flame
that never dies.
363
00:18:42,155 --> 00:18:43,854
Wakim...
364
00:18:43,923 --> 00:18:44,855
Let's do it.
365
00:18:50,796 --> 00:18:52,330
Ah, screw it.
366
00:18:52,398 --> 00:18:53,864
Stacy, get Nikki
on the phone.
367
00:18:53,933 --> 00:18:56,434
Tell her I can't meet
her and Arthur for
dinner tonight.
368
00:18:57,903 --> 00:18:59,403
What?
369
00:18:59,472 --> 00:19:00,671
Mike, you're, uh--
370
00:19:00,740 --> 00:19:02,806
Working? Yeah,
I know. I love it.
371
00:19:02,875 --> 00:19:05,276
Daddy's home, boys.
372
00:19:05,345 --> 00:19:06,611
This is hopeless.
373
00:19:06,679 --> 00:19:08,379
Let me give it a shot.
374
00:19:08,448 --> 00:19:10,448
No, no. Listen to
the man, stacy.
There's no--
375
00:19:10,517 --> 00:19:12,550
Mike, you're Arthur.
376
00:19:12,619 --> 00:19:13,817
What?
377
00:19:13,886 --> 00:19:15,453
You're so busy
with work,
378
00:19:15,522 --> 00:19:17,087
You're too stupid
to notice.
379
00:19:22,762 --> 00:19:24,195
Who's the man?
380
00:19:26,232 --> 00:19:28,065
I'm Arthur.
381
00:19:28,134 --> 00:19:29,099
Oh, great.
382
00:19:29,169 --> 00:19:31,702
I was gonna change
my name to Mohammed.
383
00:19:43,149 --> 00:19:45,082
Hey, Nikki.
384
00:19:45,151 --> 00:19:47,218
Hey, Mike.
385
00:19:47,287 --> 00:19:50,588
Listen, I gotta
tell ya, I'm, uh...
386
00:19:50,657 --> 00:19:54,292
Really happy about this
whole Arthur thing.
387
00:19:54,360 --> 00:19:55,893
You know, he's here.
388
00:19:55,961 --> 00:19:57,595
What?
389
00:19:57,664 --> 00:19:59,597
Oh.
390
00:19:59,666 --> 00:20:02,366
Guess "he" is.
391
00:20:02,435 --> 00:20:05,303
I don't wanna screw this up.
I really like this guy.
392
00:20:05,371 --> 00:20:08,606
Well, Nikki, maybe
he likes you, too.
393
00:20:08,675 --> 00:20:09,940
I mean, maybe Arthur
394
00:20:10,009 --> 00:20:13,277
Has been in therapy
for a while,
395
00:20:13,346 --> 00:20:14,912
And he's
starting to see
396
00:20:14,980 --> 00:20:16,214
What's really important.
397
00:20:16,282 --> 00:20:18,449
Arthur doesn't seem like
the kind of guy
398
00:20:18,518 --> 00:20:19,684
Who would need therapy.
399
00:20:21,688 --> 00:20:25,590
Nikki, look,
Arthur may look perfect
on the outside, but...
400
00:20:28,361 --> 00:20:30,894
He's got a lot
of issues.
401
00:20:30,963 --> 00:20:33,130
You know, I was
on a boat today,
402
00:20:33,199 --> 00:20:35,132
And the thought
occurred to me
403
00:20:35,201 --> 00:20:38,769
That you and Arthur
might enjoy a little
weekend cruise.
404
00:20:38,838 --> 00:20:40,037
That's sweet.
405
00:20:40,106 --> 00:20:41,772
Thank you.
Thank you, buddy.
406
00:20:44,977 --> 00:20:46,276
I'm Arthur.
407
00:20:49,215 --> 00:20:51,649
Excuse me? What?
408
00:20:51,718 --> 00:20:53,651
Then, uh...
409
00:20:53,720 --> 00:20:56,721
Then who am i?
410
00:20:56,789 --> 00:20:59,624
This cruise goes
to the bahamas.
411
00:20:59,692 --> 00:21:03,894
That's really generous,
man. Thank you.
412
00:21:03,963 --> 00:21:05,730
Hey, Arthur.
413
00:21:05,798 --> 00:21:08,532
What's an $800 cruise
for a complete stranger?
414
00:21:10,136 --> 00:21:11,869
Bon voyage.
415
00:21:13,172 --> 00:21:14,438
Thanks, Mike.
416
00:21:24,584 --> 00:21:26,784
Must work.
417
00:21:32,792 --> 00:21:34,958
I just wanna say I'm sorry
for the way I've been acting.
418
00:21:35,027 --> 00:21:37,461
It's just, I wanted
to belong, you know?
419
00:21:37,530 --> 00:21:39,697
I understand, Paul,
but the only way
to do that
420
00:21:39,766 --> 00:21:41,799
Is to stop trying
so hard.
421
00:21:41,867 --> 00:21:44,368
Be yourself.
422
00:21:44,437 --> 00:21:45,770
I promise.
423
00:21:47,039 --> 00:21:48,739
I'm me again.
424
00:21:48,808 --> 00:21:50,474
You can start by
taking off the hat.
425
00:21:50,543 --> 00:21:51,709
Uh-uh.
426
00:22:02,455 --> 00:22:03,921
man: sit, ubu, sit. good dog.
427
00:22:03,989 --> 00:22:05,189
(barking)
428
00:22:06,792 --> 00:22:07,858
moo.
34807
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