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1
00:00:01,002 --> 00:00:02,634
Hey, turn on the tube.
2
00:00:02,703 --> 00:00:04,669
The mayor's rally is on
from this morning.
3
00:00:04,738 --> 00:00:07,473
she's using wonderful form, and if you notice
4
00:00:07,541 --> 00:00:09,908
that she's doing it in the plie position.
5
00:00:09,976 --> 00:00:11,743
Change it, Stuart.
6
00:00:11,812 --> 00:00:14,313
not only is she working her hips, her buns...
7
00:00:14,381 --> 00:00:16,515
I can't, Mike.
8
00:00:16,583 --> 00:00:18,183
You do it.
9
00:00:18,252 --> 00:00:20,185
Give me that.
10
00:00:20,254 --> 00:00:24,823
but it's not enough to have a far-reaching political agenda!
11
00:00:24,892 --> 00:00:29,694
I'm running for reelection because I love this city!
12
00:00:29,763 --> 00:00:32,398
Watch the master. He's got
something for everyone--
13
00:00:32,466 --> 00:00:34,033
A little handshake,
a look in the eye.
14
00:00:34,101 --> 00:00:36,068
See that?
There you go.
15
00:00:36,137 --> 00:00:39,438
Oh, no. Girl in a beret.
No, sir. Oh, no.
16
00:00:39,507 --> 00:00:41,473
No.
17
00:00:45,012 --> 00:00:47,746
Here we go--the baby.
Come on, sir, see the baby.
18
00:00:47,814 --> 00:00:49,748
Scoop up the baby.
It's a routine play.
19
00:00:49,816 --> 00:00:51,450
Scoop up the baby,
step on the bag.
20
00:00:51,518 --> 00:00:53,752
Yes!
(All cheering)
21
00:00:53,820 --> 00:00:56,422
See that? This guy is good.
He does not slip up.
22
00:01:00,461 --> 00:01:02,394
Take care of this, Mike.
23
00:01:05,732 --> 00:01:10,235
Well, at least he didn't bring
back the girl with the beret.
24
00:01:38,065 --> 00:01:42,067
Ok, next. Negotiation
with the city's road crews.
They want better benefits.
25
00:01:42,136 --> 00:01:45,437
Apparently it's not
enough they get to wear
those cool orange vests.
26
00:01:45,506 --> 00:01:47,406
(All cooing)
27
00:01:47,475 --> 00:01:50,675
Yo!
Boss made a funny.
28
00:01:52,313 --> 00:01:53,945
Hi. Hi,
sweetheart.
29
00:01:54,014 --> 00:01:55,614
Isn't he cute?
30
00:01:55,682 --> 00:01:58,350
Yeah. I wonder what
he's thinking right now.
31
00:01:58,419 --> 00:02:01,686
He's wondering why
the big guy is eating
his strained peas.
32
00:02:04,925 --> 00:02:08,160
I'm... Checking
the temperature.
33
00:02:08,229 --> 00:02:09,428
What a time, huh?
34
00:02:09,497 --> 00:02:12,063
Lying around in a diaper
sleeping 18 hours a day,
35
00:02:12,133 --> 00:02:15,767
And every once in
a while, someone puts
a breast in your mouth.
36
00:02:17,070 --> 00:02:19,571
You remember
being a baby?
37
00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:21,640
I was talking
about college.
38
00:02:23,144 --> 00:02:25,810
Hey, any information
on the kid's mother?
39
00:02:25,879 --> 00:02:28,247
Yeah, she's not
a very good one.
40
00:02:28,315 --> 00:02:30,849
The cops say
she just abandoned it.
41
00:02:30,917 --> 00:02:32,917
Janelle, did you
call social services?
42
00:02:32,986 --> 00:02:35,120
I will. No rush.
43
00:02:35,189 --> 00:02:39,525
Oh, great. Can we get someone
who doesn't have a biological
clock on this, please?
44
00:02:39,593 --> 00:02:41,026
Oh, I'll take him.
45
00:02:41,094 --> 00:02:43,162
Oh, great. Big ben.
46
00:02:50,737 --> 00:02:54,706
Social services can't
pick up the kid till tomorrow.
I need a baby-sitter.
47
00:02:54,775 --> 00:02:57,409
I'll do it.
Great. Oh, you might
as well take my tie.
48
00:02:57,478 --> 00:02:59,878
He's been using it
as a burping rag.
49
00:02:59,946 --> 00:03:01,980
You want me to take that
to the dry cleaners for you?
50
00:03:02,049 --> 00:03:03,748
Well,
that depends, Paulie.
51
00:03:03,817 --> 00:03:05,884
Are you really gonna
take it to the dry cleaners,
52
00:03:05,952 --> 00:03:10,121
Or you gonna have
claudia clean it and then
give me a fake invoice?
53
00:03:10,191 --> 00:03:12,023
Never mind.
54
00:03:13,394 --> 00:03:15,561
I thought we were
going dancing tonight.
55
00:03:15,629 --> 00:03:17,529
We can bring the baby.
56
00:03:17,598 --> 00:03:19,164
Oh, that'd be great!
57
00:03:19,233 --> 00:03:22,234
We could take turns posing
as a needy single mother,
58
00:03:22,303 --> 00:03:24,903
'Cause guys
really love that.
59
00:03:24,971 --> 00:03:27,272
I-i wanted
to help out Mike, ok?
60
00:03:27,341 --> 00:03:29,708
This crush on Mike
is getting out of control.
61
00:03:29,776 --> 00:03:33,278
Would you please keep it down?
Not everybody knows how I feel.
62
00:03:34,881 --> 00:03:36,781
Mike was just here, huh?
63
00:03:36,850 --> 00:03:38,383
How'd you know that?
64
00:03:38,452 --> 00:03:41,220
Your brights are on.
65
00:03:47,228 --> 00:03:49,994
Nikki, everybody knows.
66
00:03:51,765 --> 00:03:53,699
Look, look,
I love Mike.
67
00:03:53,767 --> 00:03:57,202
When it comes to
relationships, he doesn't
have the best track record.
68
00:03:57,271 --> 00:03:59,738
I just don't want you to be
another notch in his belt.
69
00:03:59,806 --> 00:04:05,176
Especially when there's so much
room left... On this one.
70
00:04:05,246 --> 00:04:08,447
Listen, I'm sure if I talk to
some of Mike's old girlfriends,
71
00:04:08,515 --> 00:04:10,782
They would have
great things to say about him.
72
00:04:10,851 --> 00:04:12,217
Mike...
73
00:04:12,286 --> 00:04:15,053
Mike... What to say...
What's to say about Mike?
74
00:04:15,122 --> 00:04:17,822
Um... Well...
75
00:04:17,891 --> 00:04:21,693
Yeah. Yeah, Mike and I lived
together for, like, 6 months.
76
00:04:21,762 --> 00:04:24,095
I have to admit,
I do kind of miss it.
77
00:04:24,164 --> 00:04:26,365
I mean, not Mike,
you know, the apartment.
78
00:04:26,433 --> 00:04:28,533
It was the most
unbelievable apartment--
79
00:04:28,602 --> 00:04:30,835
The hardwood floors,
closets in New York, which...
80
00:04:30,904 --> 00:04:34,706
I mean the view, it was--
ah, I could just go on
about that place.
81
00:04:34,775 --> 00:04:37,242
A lot of guys run when they
hear the word "commitment".
82
00:04:37,311 --> 00:04:40,211
Mike can't even
make it to "co--".
83
00:04:40,281 --> 00:04:43,214
He's a good kisser, though.
Not as good as he thinks he is,
84
00:04:43,284 --> 00:04:45,049
But really good.
85
00:04:45,118 --> 00:04:47,018
(Speaking german)
86
00:04:54,094 --> 00:04:56,328
Well, the road crews
are standing firm, sir.
87
00:04:56,397 --> 00:04:59,698
They are threatening
a strike unless we meet
their list of demands.
88
00:04:59,767 --> 00:05:02,634
Mike, why do we need
human road crews, anyway?
89
00:05:02,703 --> 00:05:05,304
And here we go.
90
00:05:05,372 --> 00:05:08,006
When I was growing up,
there was this golden retriever.
91
00:05:08,074 --> 00:05:10,074
He used to run around town
filling in holes.
92
00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:12,844
All he wanted was
a scratch on the tummy.
93
00:05:12,913 --> 00:05:17,316
I tried that with the
road crews, sir, but all
I got was one of these...
94
00:05:23,590 --> 00:05:25,724
Well, play hardball, Mike.
95
00:05:25,793 --> 00:05:27,793
You got it, sir.
96
00:05:27,861 --> 00:05:31,229
Oh, uh, by the way,
I'm thinking of
seeing a psychiatrist.
97
00:05:31,298 --> 00:05:33,231
You don't say.
98
00:05:34,935 --> 00:05:38,102
I have, uh... Issues, Mike.
99
00:05:39,540 --> 00:05:41,540
Well, sir,
isn't there another...
100
00:05:41,608 --> 00:05:44,242
Healthy way to deal
with your problems?
101
00:05:44,311 --> 00:05:47,178
Have you considered
overeating?
102
00:05:47,247 --> 00:05:49,648
It's-it's just that
sexually, uh...
103
00:05:49,717 --> 00:05:51,483
Is this gonna make me
uncomfortable?
104
00:05:51,552 --> 00:05:54,085
No, no, no, no.
Don't be silly. Now...
105
00:05:54,154 --> 00:05:57,922
As you recall... The last time
I had sexual intercourse
106
00:05:57,991 --> 00:06:00,091
Was with your mother.
107
00:06:04,998 --> 00:06:08,633
Actually, sir, that--
that had slipped my mind.
108
00:06:08,702 --> 00:06:12,136
Really? 'Cause you would
think something like...
That's sarcasm, sir.
109
00:06:12,205 --> 00:06:14,205
Oh, of course.
Well, listen. Um...
110
00:06:14,274 --> 00:06:17,642
Anyway, last weekend...
111
00:06:17,711 --> 00:06:20,945
I ran into sara briggs,
my old high school flame.
112
00:06:21,014 --> 00:06:23,114
We went out, Mike.
113
00:06:23,183 --> 00:06:25,984
Dinner, dancing,
then back to her hotel room.
114
00:06:26,052 --> 00:06:28,687
But when
the moment came, um,
115
00:06:28,756 --> 00:06:30,922
I--i--i couldn't, uh...
116
00:06:32,192 --> 00:06:35,594
Ah, hell. I need
to talk to a professional.
117
00:06:35,662 --> 00:06:39,664
Sir, yo--you're--
you're a public official.
118
00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:43,301
Couldn't you just, you know,
tell me what happened?
119
00:06:46,072 --> 00:06:48,407
Well, you know the guy
that comes around
120
00:06:48,475 --> 00:06:50,675
In the ice cream truck?
121
00:06:50,744 --> 00:06:52,744
Yeah, sure, mr. Soft...
122
00:06:57,885 --> 00:06:59,885
I'll set something up.
123
00:07:05,392 --> 00:07:07,459
Hey, Nikki,
what are you doing?
124
00:07:07,528 --> 00:07:10,462
I think he said his
first word. He said "da".
125
00:07:10,531 --> 00:07:12,764
He said "da"?
126
00:07:12,833 --> 00:07:16,134
He said the russian
word for "yes"?
127
00:07:16,202 --> 00:07:18,903
He was trying to say "dada".
I think he was asking for you.
128
00:07:18,972 --> 00:07:21,005
Get outta--
get outta here.
129
00:07:21,074 --> 00:07:23,842
Hey, how ya doing?
How ya doing?
130
00:07:23,911 --> 00:07:25,243
Say it again.
131
00:07:25,312 --> 00:07:27,512
Say it again.
No rush, no pressure.
132
00:07:27,581 --> 00:07:29,781
Say it now!
133
00:07:29,850 --> 00:07:32,984
He'll--he'll say it
again eventually. Here.
134
00:07:33,053 --> 00:07:36,387
Well, look. I'll--
I'll warm up his bottle.
135
00:07:36,457 --> 00:07:38,122
Can you hang out
for a while?
136
00:07:38,191 --> 00:07:41,292
Um... Yeah,
yeah, I guess so.
137
00:07:41,361 --> 00:07:43,394
(Whispers) yes!
138
00:07:43,464 --> 00:07:45,363
Cool. This'll be fun.
139
00:07:45,432 --> 00:07:47,265
I bet you never
even changed a diaper.
140
00:07:47,334 --> 00:07:49,768
Are you kidding me?
I had single working mom.
141
00:07:49,837 --> 00:07:52,170
Changed my own diaper.
142
00:07:53,173 --> 00:07:55,073
Here we go.
143
00:07:55,141 --> 00:07:56,541
Oh, there's
no way that's ready.
144
00:07:56,610 --> 00:07:58,977
I nuked it.
I know what I'm doing.
145
00:07:59,045 --> 00:08:01,847
Ah? Ah?
146
00:08:01,915 --> 00:08:03,181
Ah!
(Crying)
147
00:08:03,249 --> 00:08:05,484
Oh, oh, ooh!
All right, hey, hey.
148
00:08:05,552 --> 00:08:07,652
It's ok,
it's ok. It's ok.
149
00:08:07,721 --> 00:08:09,788
It's just a
second-degree burn.
150
00:08:09,857 --> 00:08:14,459
I'll give you your
milk as soon as it
stops... Bubbling.
151
00:08:14,528 --> 00:08:16,528
All right?
152
00:08:16,597 --> 00:08:19,998
All right. Shh.
Let me give you a little
fatherly advice, ok?
153
00:08:20,066 --> 00:08:23,201
In life...
154
00:08:23,269 --> 00:08:25,136
It's good
to be a doctor.
155
00:08:25,205 --> 00:08:27,706
Unless, of course,
you're playing doctor,
156
00:08:27,774 --> 00:08:31,142
Then it's good
to be the patient.
157
00:08:31,211 --> 00:08:34,845
(Cooing voice) yes, it is.
It's good to be the patient.
158
00:08:34,914 --> 00:08:38,082
(Groans) I was, uh,
m--married for 22 years.
159
00:08:38,151 --> 00:08:41,185
I raised a child, meg. Hmm.
160
00:08:41,254 --> 00:08:43,388
She's in college now.
161
00:08:43,456 --> 00:08:46,758
And yet I don't feel like
I've ever really been...
162
00:08:46,827 --> 00:08:49,060
Intimate with a woman.
163
00:08:53,667 --> 00:08:56,000
It's all very
interesting, sir,
164
00:08:56,069 --> 00:08:59,237
But I'm not really sure
why you're telling me this.
165
00:09:00,908 --> 00:09:03,174
I was married
for 22 years.
166
00:09:08,314 --> 00:09:10,949
I raised a child, meg.
167
00:09:11,018 --> 00:09:12,951
She's in college now.
168
00:09:15,956 --> 00:09:19,390
And yet...
I don't feel I've ever...
169
00:09:19,459 --> 00:09:22,260
Really been
intimate with a woman.
170
00:09:24,297 --> 00:09:25,630
Should I lay down?
171
00:09:30,203 --> 00:09:31,736
(Playing blues)
172
00:09:31,805 --> 00:09:34,539
♪ I'm in my crib ♪
173
00:09:34,608 --> 00:09:37,809
♪ I'm wearing my bib ♪
174
00:09:37,878 --> 00:09:39,778
♪ My baby's orange ♪
175
00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:43,347
♪ I can't rhyme "orange" ♪
176
00:09:43,416 --> 00:09:45,916
Shh.
He's finally asleep.
177
00:09:45,985 --> 00:09:50,488
Yeah, I hope so.
I sang 84 consecutive
verses of the baby blues.
178
00:09:50,557 --> 00:09:52,457
You know what's amazing?
179
00:09:52,525 --> 00:09:56,194
How much food goes in and out
of something so small.
180
00:09:56,262 --> 00:09:59,397
It's like
a human clown car.
181
00:09:59,466 --> 00:10:01,566
We should go clean up.
Yeah, yeah.
182
00:10:01,635 --> 00:10:04,302
Hey, wait, wait, wait.
Nikki, Nikki... Nikki.
183
00:10:05,872 --> 00:10:09,273
You mind just standing
here and staring at him
with me for a while?
184
00:10:09,342 --> 00:10:11,542
Yeah, I'm up for that.
185
00:10:11,612 --> 00:10:14,445
It's weird, 'cause i--i--i
don't wanna turn away, 'cause...
186
00:10:14,514 --> 00:10:17,381
I'm afraid
I might miss something.
187
00:10:17,450 --> 00:10:19,751
You are so adorable.
188
00:10:19,820 --> 00:10:21,953
Yes, you are.
189
00:10:23,556 --> 00:10:26,057
He's out like a light.
Yup.
190
00:10:26,126 --> 00:10:28,627
I mean, you could fall
on the floor screaming,
191
00:10:28,695 --> 00:10:32,097
Moaning, calling out
my name--he'd never wake up.
192
00:10:33,734 --> 00:10:36,935
Mike... Mike--Mike
and relationships. Uh...
193
00:10:38,005 --> 00:10:40,471
Wow. Um...
194
00:10:40,540 --> 00:10:43,474
Mike and I in a serious,
committed relationship?
195
00:10:43,543 --> 00:10:46,477
No. No,
you gotta be kidding.
196
00:10:46,546 --> 00:10:48,546
It wouldn't happen.
197
00:10:55,522 --> 00:10:58,757
Hey. Sorry. I would've
been here earlier,
198
00:10:58,825 --> 00:11:00,959
But I ran out of diapers.
199
00:11:01,028 --> 00:11:03,594
Didn't think I'd need
more than a 40-pack.
200
00:11:03,664 --> 00:11:05,463
Tell you what, though.
In a pinch?
201
00:11:05,532 --> 00:11:08,232
Coffee filter
with the leg holes cut out.
202
00:11:09,835 --> 00:11:12,804
So, uh, what's gonna
happen to the little guy?
203
00:11:12,873 --> 00:11:14,806
He'll probably
bounce around the system
204
00:11:14,875 --> 00:11:18,209
Until we can find an adequate
habitational situation for him.
205
00:11:18,278 --> 00:11:20,611
That's like
a home, right?
206
00:11:20,681 --> 00:11:22,647
I'll take him
from you now.
Um...
207
00:11:22,716 --> 00:11:24,415
You know what
I can't believe is...
208
00:11:24,484 --> 00:11:26,851
I can't believe someone
would just leave him.
209
00:11:26,920 --> 00:11:29,187
Yeah, it's sad.
Now, give him up.
210
00:11:30,557 --> 00:11:33,191
Carter? Run.
211
00:11:33,259 --> 00:11:35,760
Run where?
212
00:11:35,829 --> 00:11:37,162
Way to go, Carter.
213
00:11:37,230 --> 00:11:40,064
Oh, great plan--run.
214
00:11:40,132 --> 00:11:41,900
Don't worry. He'll be fine.
215
00:11:44,470 --> 00:11:46,470
(Baby cries)
216
00:11:48,341 --> 00:11:51,843
All right, all right.
Shh. Shh. It's ok. It's ok.
217
00:11:51,912 --> 00:11:54,612
It's... It's ok.
(Crying stops)
218
00:11:54,681 --> 00:11:57,515
All right. There we go.
219
00:11:57,584 --> 00:11:59,584
(Crying resumes)
220
00:12:01,588 --> 00:12:04,522
All right, all right. Shh.
(Crying stops)
221
00:12:06,893 --> 00:12:09,227
(Crying resumes)
all right.
222
00:12:09,295 --> 00:12:11,129
(Crying stops)
223
00:12:12,598 --> 00:12:14,999
I'm adopting this kid.
224
00:12:26,246 --> 00:12:29,713
Mike, you can't adopt
a baby. You don't even
know what they eat.
225
00:12:29,783 --> 00:12:31,983
Sure, I do.
Soft food...
226
00:12:32,052 --> 00:12:33,752
Like chili.
227
00:12:33,820 --> 00:12:35,553
Oh!
228
00:12:35,622 --> 00:12:38,156
Sign me up
for chili night.
229
00:12:38,225 --> 00:12:41,325
I have what it takes
to be an excellent father.
230
00:12:41,394 --> 00:12:45,129
I don't think a winning smile
and manageable hair count.
231
00:12:45,198 --> 00:12:47,132
Towel-dried...
232
00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:49,868
Right out of the shower.
233
00:12:49,936 --> 00:12:51,803
Still, that doesn't...
234
00:12:51,872 --> 00:12:53,637
You're kidding.
235
00:12:55,275 --> 00:12:58,942
I have an idea.
Let's play the $20,000 pyramid.
236
00:12:59,011 --> 00:13:02,080
A fern. A cat.
237
00:13:02,149 --> 00:13:04,715
Sea monkeys.
Your neighbor's parrot.
238
00:13:04,785 --> 00:13:08,386
Ding ding ding ding. Things
that have died in my apartment.
239
00:13:10,190 --> 00:13:12,523
Look, you guys, y--you...
240
00:13:14,127 --> 00:13:16,127
You don't get it.
241
00:13:16,196 --> 00:13:18,329
All right, may--maybe
this is ridiculous.
242
00:13:18,398 --> 00:13:22,033
Maybe i... Never thought
about having a kid until today.
243
00:13:22,102 --> 00:13:24,202
You know, but, uh...
244
00:13:24,271 --> 00:13:27,772
Things happen. Things happen
when you least expect them.
245
00:13:27,841 --> 00:13:31,375
Somebody... Didn't
want this little guy...
246
00:13:33,146 --> 00:13:35,079
And I do.
247
00:13:35,148 --> 00:13:38,949
Ok, Mike.
(Clears throat)
then do it.
248
00:13:39,018 --> 00:13:40,118
I hope you get it.
249
00:13:40,186 --> 00:13:43,021
Me too.
They're chick magnets.
250
00:13:48,461 --> 00:13:51,395
There's been a change. I no
longer have a crush on Mike.
251
00:13:51,464 --> 00:13:52,864
Well, that's great.
252
00:13:52,933 --> 00:13:56,400
I love him.
I must have him.
253
00:13:56,469 --> 00:13:59,937
So... What are you
hens yapping about?
254
00:14:00,005 --> 00:14:02,140
Just girl talk.
255
00:14:02,209 --> 00:14:05,176
Ooh, tag me in.
I've always wanted to do this.
256
00:14:06,613 --> 00:14:09,180
- I don't know what to do.
- You've gotta do something.
257
00:14:09,249 --> 00:14:11,716
You see?
It's this kind of banter
258
00:14:11,784 --> 00:14:14,518
That got me
hooked on the view.
259
00:14:14,587 --> 00:14:16,888
Mike. Well...
260
00:14:16,957 --> 00:14:18,622
Hmm.
261
00:14:18,691 --> 00:14:20,424
Hmm.
262
00:14:20,493 --> 00:14:23,627
Don't--don't quite
know where to start.
263
00:14:23,696 --> 00:14:26,697
I--i did want him
to father my child.
264
00:14:26,766 --> 00:14:28,900
But, I mean, I wouldn't--
265
00:14:28,969 --> 00:14:31,336
I wouldn't, like,
date him or something,
266
00:14:31,404 --> 00:14:34,605
You know, like...
Boyfriend and girlfriend thing
267
00:14:34,674 --> 00:14:37,475
Or anything like that.
Oh, god.
268
00:14:37,543 --> 00:14:40,111
Oh, no. No.
269
00:14:40,180 --> 00:14:43,447
You know the song
cold-hearted snake?
270
00:14:43,516 --> 00:14:45,583
That was about Mike.
271
00:14:46,819 --> 00:14:49,587
Um... Relationship,
commitment--
272
00:14:49,655 --> 00:14:51,589
I don't know. I don't know.
273
00:14:53,059 --> 00:14:54,825
I don't know.
274
00:15:00,266 --> 00:15:01,933
I got some
talking points here.
275
00:15:02,002 --> 00:15:03,935
I got some things
I need you to say.
276
00:15:04,004 --> 00:15:07,705
Mike loves children. Mike is
stable. Mike is very patient.
277
00:15:07,774 --> 00:15:09,540
Where the hell
is this woman?
278
00:15:09,609 --> 00:15:11,042
(Door opens)
279
00:15:11,111 --> 00:15:13,044
Sorry to keep you waiting.
280
00:15:13,980 --> 00:15:16,180
Mike is very patient.
281
00:15:16,249 --> 00:15:17,748
Check.
282
00:15:18,684 --> 00:15:21,285
So, how does
my application look?
283
00:15:21,354 --> 00:15:22,586
It's adequate.
284
00:15:22,655 --> 00:15:24,588
Stop. You're
making me blush.
285
00:15:25,591 --> 00:15:28,759
Show her the,
uh... Nose thing.
286
00:15:28,828 --> 00:15:31,162
Oh, yeah. Hey, hey, hey.
287
00:15:31,231 --> 00:15:33,231
Got your nose.
(Carter laughs)
288
00:15:35,835 --> 00:15:37,701
(Laughter
continues)
289
00:15:39,005 --> 00:15:42,340
Ok... Just
putting it back now.
290
00:15:45,412 --> 00:15:47,912
So lay it on me, doc.
291
00:15:49,115 --> 00:15:51,849
Ok. Well, I told him
about the divorce
292
00:15:51,918 --> 00:15:55,786
And--and how since then,
you've had trouble making a...
293
00:15:55,855 --> 00:15:57,855
Love connection.
294
00:15:59,292 --> 00:16:01,792
Right. And--and he thought
maybe you should be
295
00:16:01,861 --> 00:16:03,694
Dating women
in their twenties.
296
00:16:08,634 --> 00:16:10,468
Excellent.
297
00:16:12,272 --> 00:16:16,941
So, did you ask the doctor
about the, uh... Viagra?
298
00:16:17,010 --> 00:16:19,743
At great embarrassment
to myself, sir.
299
00:16:19,812 --> 00:16:21,645
Here's the prescription.
You should know
300
00:16:21,714 --> 00:16:24,815
That taking this drug exposes
you to possible side effects.
301
00:16:24,884 --> 00:16:26,684
You may see things
in blue tint.
302
00:16:26,752 --> 00:16:29,453
Blue's my favorite color.
303
00:16:31,191 --> 00:16:34,292
So, what else
did we talk about?
304
00:16:34,361 --> 00:16:37,295
The doctor thinks
I have an oedipus complex.
305
00:16:37,364 --> 00:16:40,398
He feels I suffer from
delusions of grandeur,
306
00:16:40,467 --> 00:16:43,934
And he's accelerated
my sessions to 3 times a week.
307
00:16:45,205 --> 00:16:48,639
Apparently, I pose
some danger to society.
308
00:16:52,878 --> 00:16:55,413
Ok. It says here
you have experience
309
00:16:55,482 --> 00:16:57,715
Working with children.
Where was that?
310
00:16:57,783 --> 00:17:01,886
Mike, Stacey stole my snickers
from the freezer again.
311
00:17:02,922 --> 00:17:04,855
Be the bigger
man, Paul.
312
00:17:04,924 --> 00:17:07,425
Ah-ah! I see you
wiping chocolate
from your lips!
313
00:17:07,494 --> 00:17:09,560
It's brown
lipstick!
314
00:17:09,629 --> 00:17:13,464
I'm a little concerned
that the pressures of
your job might be a problem.
315
00:17:13,533 --> 00:17:16,734
Single workaholics
don't make ideal parents.
316
00:17:16,802 --> 00:17:20,271
Workaholic? Let me share
a little secret with you.
317
00:17:20,340 --> 00:17:23,774
I don't do
squat around here.
318
00:17:23,843 --> 00:17:26,177
He put the "oaf"
in "loaf". Heh.
319
00:17:26,246 --> 00:17:28,246
(Whispering)
oh, god.
320
00:17:30,583 --> 00:17:33,684
Mr. Flaherty, I really
have just one last question.
321
00:17:33,753 --> 00:17:35,686
Why do you
want this baby?
322
00:17:35,755 --> 00:17:37,821
Ok, here's the thing
about Mike. He's, um...
323
00:17:37,890 --> 00:17:40,124
He's always looking
for that quick fix,
324
00:17:40,193 --> 00:17:43,961
For the relationship that's
gonna solve all of his problems.
325
00:17:44,030 --> 00:17:46,597
I wonder who's
filling that void now.
326
00:17:51,571 --> 00:17:53,571
Sir?
Mm-hmm?
327
00:17:53,639 --> 00:17:55,306
Please don't make me
go back to therapy.
328
00:17:55,375 --> 00:17:58,476
His questions are so deep
and his stare is so piercing,
329
00:17:58,545 --> 00:18:02,146
And he made me look
at these ink blots,
and so what? I saw a penis.
330
00:18:02,215 --> 00:18:06,016
It was right there,
sir, clear as day.
Anyone would have seen it.
331
00:18:06,085 --> 00:18:08,018
Look, James.
(Clears throat)
332
00:18:08,088 --> 00:18:10,688
You don't have to
go back. (Chuckles)
333
00:18:10,756 --> 00:18:13,791
See, I realized the problem
was in me, in my mind.
334
00:18:13,859 --> 00:18:16,327
I had some fear,
but i...
335
00:18:16,396 --> 00:18:18,929
I dug down deep,
and I conquered it!
336
00:18:18,998 --> 00:18:21,832
That's great, sir.
And thank you.
337
00:18:21,901 --> 00:18:23,801
The pleasure's all mine.
338
00:18:35,482 --> 00:18:37,181
I've done your charts.
339
00:18:37,250 --> 00:18:39,250
You are a taurus.
340
00:18:39,319 --> 00:18:41,051
That's the sign
of the bull.
341
00:18:41,121 --> 00:18:43,687
Mike is a capricorn.
342
00:18:43,756 --> 00:18:45,990
You two
just don't mesh.
343
00:18:46,058 --> 00:18:49,227
Why? What animal
is a capricorn?
344
00:18:50,363 --> 00:18:52,296
The--the dingo.
345
00:18:59,539 --> 00:19:02,540
Wait a minute.
There's no sign of the dingo.
346
00:19:02,609 --> 00:19:05,343
You don't know anything
about astrology, do you?
347
00:19:05,411 --> 00:19:09,480
Hey, I know you shouldn't
mess with your boss's dingo.
348
00:19:09,549 --> 00:19:11,782
I--i know this
is right for me.
349
00:19:11,851 --> 00:19:13,417
Really?
350
00:19:13,486 --> 00:19:16,120
Yeah. I--i think
I can make it work.
351
00:19:16,189 --> 00:19:18,489
Ok. Then you
have no choice.
352
00:19:18,558 --> 00:19:20,391
Go tell him.
353
00:19:23,829 --> 00:19:26,264
Hey, Stuart.
What sign are you?
354
00:19:28,201 --> 00:19:30,034
Scorpio.
355
00:19:33,373 --> 00:19:35,706
Back in the shed.
Oh!
356
00:19:47,654 --> 00:19:49,987
You miss him,
don't ya?
357
00:19:50,056 --> 00:19:52,223
Oh, this is beer.
358
00:19:52,292 --> 00:19:54,892
It's a brilliant design,
really. It keeps air out.
359
00:19:54,960 --> 00:19:57,795
Less belching,
more room for pretzels.
360
00:19:59,932 --> 00:20:01,765
So, Mike...
361
00:20:03,269 --> 00:20:05,203
I came over here
'cause i, uh...
362
00:20:05,271 --> 00:20:07,205
I wanna tell
you something.
363
00:20:07,273 --> 00:20:09,473
This is his blankie.
364
00:20:09,542 --> 00:20:11,576
It's still got
his drool on it.
365
00:20:11,644 --> 00:20:13,477
He loved to drool.
366
00:20:15,147 --> 00:20:16,681
Yeah, you're right.
I miss him.
367
00:20:16,749 --> 00:20:18,449
I know.
368
00:20:18,518 --> 00:20:21,051
I like the idea of settling
down, starting a family.
369
00:20:21,120 --> 00:20:22,587
Me too.
370
00:20:22,655 --> 00:20:26,424
I just need to find the right
person to do it with.
Me too.
371
00:20:26,492 --> 00:20:29,260
I don't think
I'm ready though.
Me too.
372
00:20:29,329 --> 00:20:31,395
What?
373
00:20:31,464 --> 00:20:35,866
Well, it's... I just--
i... Keep looking for
374
00:20:35,935 --> 00:20:39,169
Other people to fix my problems,
and I gotta work on myself.
375
00:20:39,238 --> 00:20:41,239
Sometimes sex helps.
376
00:20:44,310 --> 00:20:47,378
I've been down that road
far too often.
377
00:20:47,447 --> 00:20:50,615
Besides, even--even
if I met the right person,
378
00:20:50,683 --> 00:20:52,783
I--i'd find a way
to screw it up.
379
00:20:54,687 --> 00:20:56,954
I'm sorry. You wanted
to tell me something?
380
00:20:58,625 --> 00:21:00,258
Oh...
381
00:21:00,326 --> 00:21:02,092
It can wait.
382
00:21:02,161 --> 00:21:03,994
All right. Um...
383
00:21:05,698 --> 00:21:07,665
You want
a brewski?
384
00:21:09,135 --> 00:21:11,034
Still cold.
385
00:21:24,350 --> 00:21:27,551
I guess the reason I wanted
to adopt the baby
386
00:21:27,620 --> 00:21:31,054
Was because I was looking
for something in my life.
387
00:21:37,029 --> 00:21:38,596
Go on.
388
00:21:38,665 --> 00:21:40,931
I mean, I'm
the deputy mayor.
389
00:21:41,967 --> 00:21:44,468
I never even thought
I wanted a family.
390
00:21:46,038 --> 00:21:47,905
This contradicts
391
00:21:47,973 --> 00:21:50,974
Everything you've
told me so far.
392
00:21:51,043 --> 00:21:53,444
(Whispers) I know.
393
00:21:57,550 --> 00:21:59,049
man: sit, ubu, sit. good dog.
394
00:21:59,118 --> 00:22:00,351
(barking)
395
00:22:01,621 --> 00:22:02,953
moo.
33690
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