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1
00:00:06,138 --> 00:00:08,307
Captioning made possible by
comedy central
2
00:00:08,342 --> 00:00:10,276
? I'm going down
to south park?
3
00:00:10,311 --> 00:00:11,912
? Gonna have
myself a time?
4
00:00:11,947 --> 00:00:13,513
? Friendly faces
everywhere?
5
00:00:13,946 --> 00:00:15,248
? Humble folks
without temptation?
6
00:00:15,283 --> 00:00:17,000
? Going down
to south park?
7
00:00:17,035 --> 00:00:18,744
? Gonna leave my
woes behind?
8
00:00:18,779 --> 00:00:20,418
? Ample parking
day or night?
9
00:00:20,453 --> 00:00:21,754
? People spouting
"howdy neighbor"?
10
00:00:21,789 --> 00:00:23,055
? Headin' on up
to south park?
11
00:00:23,489 --> 00:00:25,658
? Gonna see
if i can't unwind?
12
00:00:28,694 --> 00:00:30,646
? So come on down
to south park?
13
00:00:30,681 --> 00:00:32,598
? And meet some
friends of mine?
14
00:00:38,004 --> 00:00:39,739
All right,
miss sanders,
15
00:00:40,172 --> 00:00:41,474
All ready for
your abortion?
16
00:00:43,209 --> 00:00:44,944
Ready as i'm ever
going to be, i guess.
17
00:00:45,378 --> 00:00:47,512
Well, try to relax.
18
00:00:47,547 --> 00:00:49,282
It will all be over
very soon.
19
00:00:51,450 --> 00:00:53,185
Doctor, can we turn off
that television?
20
00:00:53,220 --> 00:00:56,222
Oh, yes, i'm sorry.
21
00:00:57,957 --> 00:00:59,692
Now, there is
one more thing.
22
00:00:59,727 --> 00:01:00,525
What?
23
00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:01,861
Have you heard of
stem cell research?
24
00:01:01,896 --> 00:01:03,162
I've heard of it
on the news,
25
00:01:03,596 --> 00:01:04,428
But i don't know
what it is.
26
00:01:04,463 --> 00:01:06,632
Well, basically a lot of
amazing studies have shown
27
00:01:06,667 --> 00:01:08,801
That stem cells might
be used to fight cancer
28
00:01:08,836 --> 00:01:09,903
And a myriad of
other diseases.
29
00:01:09,938 --> 00:01:10,935
Right now,
a lot of stem cells
30
00:01:10,970 --> 00:01:13,139
Come from the tissue
of aborted fetuses-
31
00:01:13,174 --> 00:01:15,273
I'm sorry,
unwanted children.
32
00:01:15,308 --> 00:01:18,344
And if you sign a release
that tissue can go to study.
33
00:01:18,379 --> 00:01:20,513
Oh, well, i suppose if
it can help others.
34
00:01:20,548 --> 00:01:22,682
The hope is that
someday it might.
35
00:01:22,717 --> 00:01:24,434
Okay.
36
00:01:24,469 --> 00:01:26,117
Great.
37
00:01:26,152 --> 00:01:27,887
Well, here we go.
38
00:01:42,201 --> 00:01:43,502
Nurse.
39
00:01:43,936 --> 00:01:45,671
This is to go toalder'slabs
for stem cell research.
40
00:01:45,706 --> 00:01:47,406
Yes, doctor.
41
00:01:50,876 --> 00:01:53,444
? On the road again?
42
00:01:53,479 --> 00:01:57,782
? Just can't wait to get
on the road again?
43
00:01:57,817 --> 00:02:01,721
? The life i love is making
music with my friends?
44
00:02:01,756 --> 00:02:05,625
? And i can't wait to get
on the road again?
45
00:02:05,660 --> 00:02:08,661
? On the road again?
46
00:02:09,095 --> 00:02:12,964
? Going places that
i've never been?
47
00:02:12,999 --> 00:02:16,035
? Seeing things that
i may never see again...?
48
00:02:16,070 --> 00:02:18,204
Jesus christ!
49
00:02:22,975 --> 00:02:24,675
? On the road the road?
50
00:02:24,710 --> 00:02:27,313
? Like a band of gypsies
we go down the highway?
51
00:02:28,614 --> 00:02:31,217
? My baby takes
the morning train?
52
00:02:35,121 --> 00:02:36,821
Hmm?
53
00:02:36,856 --> 00:02:38,808
? On the road again...?
54
00:02:38,843 --> 00:02:40,760
What do we have here?
55
00:02:42,061 --> 00:02:42,928
Well, that burned
a long time.
56
00:02:43,362 --> 00:02:44,663
Yeah, that was
pretty good.
57
00:02:44,698 --> 00:02:45,965
Oh dude,
there goes one.
58
00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:47,665
Okay, go.
59
00:02:47,700 --> 00:02:49,435
All right!
All right!
60
00:02:51,170 --> 00:02:52,905
You've had that cough a while,
kenny, you okay?
61
00:02:54,206 --> 00:02:55,508
Hey, fellas,
hey, fellas!
62
00:02:55,941 --> 00:02:56,774
What, butters?
63
00:02:56,809 --> 00:02:58,544
Eric says you gotta come
to his house right away.
64
00:02:58,579 --> 00:02:59,377
Tell him we're busy.
65
00:02:59,412 --> 00:03:01,147
Oh, well, he knew
you'd say that
66
00:03:01,580 --> 00:03:03,315
So he told me to tell you that
you don't wanna miss this.
67
00:03:03,350 --> 00:03:04,582
What, did he lose
100 pounds?
68
00:03:04,617 --> 00:03:07,219
Yeah, yeah, he knew
you'd say that too
69
00:03:07,254 --> 00:03:09,822
So he said to say,
"up your ass, jew."
70
00:03:10,256 --> 00:03:12,390
Yeah.
71
00:03:12,425 --> 00:03:14,593
All right, let's go
see what he wants.
72
00:03:17,196 --> 00:03:19,365
Oh, it's all sticky.
73
00:03:21,100 --> 00:03:22,366
All right, cartman,
what's so important
74
00:03:22,401 --> 00:03:24,136
You had to pull us away from
lighting cow crap on fire?
75
00:03:24,171 --> 00:03:25,438
Oh, you guys, you're
not gonna believe it.
76
00:03:25,473 --> 00:03:26,270
What?
77
00:03:26,305 --> 00:03:28,040
Guess what i have
sitting in my backyard.
78
00:03:28,075 --> 00:03:29,341
A trampoline?
79
00:03:29,376 --> 00:03:30,443
Better.
80
00:03:30,478 --> 00:03:31,510
A boat?
81
00:03:31,944 --> 00:03:32,777
Better.
82
00:03:32,812 --> 00:03:33,679
A f-King machine?
83
00:03:34,113 --> 00:03:34,980
Better.
84
00:03:35,414 --> 00:03:37,800
Well, what,
cartman?
85
00:03:37,835 --> 00:03:40,186
33 aborted fetuses.
86
00:03:43,656 --> 00:03:45,391
Oh yes.
87
00:03:45,426 --> 00:03:47,091
What?
88
00:03:47,126 --> 00:03:48,826
Mint condition,
tax free.
89
00:03:48,861 --> 00:03:51,030
Cartman, what the hell are you
doing with aborted fetuses?
90
00:03:51,065 --> 00:03:52,296
I'm leaving, right now.
91
00:03:52,331 --> 00:03:54,066
Oh, i guess you don't
watch the news, kyle.
92
00:03:54,101 --> 00:03:55,766
You've never watched
the news, fat-Ass.
93
00:03:55,801 --> 00:03:57,536
And what the hell does that
have to do with anything?
94
00:03:57,571 --> 00:03:58,838
Stem cells, numb nuts.
95
00:03:58,873 --> 00:03:59,670
Stem cells?
96
00:03:59,705 --> 00:04:01,006
Oh, and what do you know
about stem cells?
97
00:04:01,440 --> 00:04:03,140
What the heck are
stem cells?
98
00:04:03,175 --> 00:04:04,442
They're cells that
come from fetuses.
99
00:04:04,477 --> 00:04:05,778
And some research shows
that they could be used
100
00:04:05,813 --> 00:04:06,610
To treat diseases.
101
00:04:06,645 --> 00:04:07,912
It's been proven, jew!
102
00:04:07,947 --> 00:04:09,213
I saw it on
"3-2-1 contact".
103
00:04:09,248 --> 00:04:10,514
With all the research
that's going on
104
00:04:10,549 --> 00:04:12,718
Stem cells are worth three times
their weight in gold.
105
00:04:12,753 --> 00:04:14,887
What i have in my backyard
is an aborted treasure chest.
106
00:04:14,922 --> 00:04:17,490
I hate you so much.
107
00:04:20,960 --> 00:04:22,226
Fine, i don't need
you assholes!
108
00:04:22,261 --> 00:04:25,731
I can sell these fetuses
all on my own!
109
00:04:27,900 --> 00:04:31,370
Hello, is this university of
colorado biology department?
110
00:04:31,405 --> 00:04:32,671
Great, i understand you're
currently doing research
111
00:04:33,105 --> 00:04:34,406
On stem cells.
112
00:04:34,840 --> 00:04:36,974
Cool, because i'm currently
in possession
113
00:04:37,009 --> 00:04:38,744
Of some aborted fetuses
i'm looking to unload.
114
00:04:38,779 --> 00:04:42,214
How much do you pay?
115
00:04:42,648 --> 00:04:43,516
No, no, come on,
i got a guy in cleveland
116
00:04:43,949 --> 00:04:46,118
Who's gonna give me
$80 a pound right now.
117
00:04:46,153 --> 00:04:47,853
How about 100?
118
00:04:48,287 --> 00:04:50,456
You're breaking my balls,
i'll think about it.
119
00:04:50,491 --> 00:04:52,590
Bos-Nad medical group?
120
00:04:52,625 --> 00:04:54,794
Yeah, i called earlier about
the stem cells and the fetuses.
121
00:04:54,829 --> 00:04:56,494
Okay, hi, randy, yeah.
122
00:04:56,529 --> 00:04:58,697
Oh yes, they've been kept
in a cool temperature, yeah.
123
00:04:59,131 --> 00:05:01,734
These are primo fetuses, randy,
i wouldn't jerk you around.
124
00:05:01,769 --> 00:05:03,903
So what can your company
give me for them?
125
00:05:04,336 --> 00:05:06,505
Oh, randy, you're breaking
my balls here.
126
00:05:06,540 --> 00:05:07,807
You're breaking
my balls, randy.
127
00:05:07,842 --> 00:05:09,108
Oh please!
128
00:05:09,542 --> 00:05:10,409
Okay, you tell me where
you can get aborted fetuses
129
00:05:10,843 --> 00:05:12,144
For 70 cents
on the dollar?
130
00:05:12,179 --> 00:05:13,410
You tell me, chuck.
131
00:05:13,445 --> 00:05:14,712
Yeah, i didn't think so.
132
00:05:14,747 --> 00:05:16,048
Y'know, i'm just like
the fetuses, chuck,
133
00:05:16,083 --> 00:05:18,017
I wasn't born
yesterday either.
134
00:05:18,052 --> 00:05:19,917
Uh-Huh, so are you
gonna talk to me
135
00:05:19,952 --> 00:05:21,687
Or are we just gonna keep
bull-Ing each other?
136
00:05:21,722 --> 00:05:22,953
Breaking my balls, chuck.
137
00:05:22,988 --> 00:05:23,856
I gotta unload
these fetuses,
138
00:05:24,290 --> 00:05:25,157
You wanna do
some research.
139
00:05:25,192 --> 00:05:26,476
Are we talking here
or what?
140
00:05:26,511 --> 00:05:27,725
You're breaking my balls.
141
00:05:27,760 --> 00:05:29,061
I'm telling you, if you let
this deal pass you by
142
00:05:29,495 --> 00:05:31,664
You're making
a "fetal" mistake.
143
00:05:32,965 --> 00:05:34,231
A hundred-Ten?
144
00:05:34,266 --> 00:05:37,303
All right, all right,
we got a deal.
145
00:05:37,338 --> 00:05:39,003
Good-Bye.
146
00:05:39,038 --> 00:05:40,773
Damn, i'm good.
147
00:05:47,713 --> 00:05:48,979
Can i help you?
148
00:05:49,014 --> 00:05:50,749
Yes, i'm making a delivery
of these fetuses here.
149
00:05:51,183 --> 00:05:52,449
Oh right, the fetuses.
150
00:05:52,484 --> 00:05:53,785
We were very lucky
you called.
151
00:05:53,820 --> 00:05:55,052
Our last shipment
of fetuses
152
00:05:55,087 --> 00:05:56,388
Was was lost in
a truck accident.
153
00:05:56,423 --> 00:05:57,655
Gee, that's terrible.
154
00:05:57,690 --> 00:05:58,991
So who do i talk to
about payment?
155
00:05:59,026 --> 00:06:00,726
This is awful,
just awful.
156
00:06:00,761 --> 00:06:01,992
Oh, larry.
157
00:06:02,027 --> 00:06:03,727
This young man has the new
fetuses for research.
158
00:06:03,762 --> 00:06:05,931
You're gonna love these fetuses,
larry, they're top notch.
159
00:06:05,966 --> 00:06:08,534
Oh, i'm sorry but we can't
buy those from you now.
160
00:06:08,569 --> 00:06:11,101
What?!
We made a deal, larry.
161
00:06:11,136 --> 00:06:13,088
I brought them all the way
down here already!
162
00:06:13,123 --> 00:06:15,040
I'm afraid the government
has just put a ban
163
00:06:15,075 --> 00:06:16,775
On stem cell
research.
164
00:06:16,810 --> 00:06:17,608
A ban- Why?
165
00:06:17,643 --> 00:06:20,246
Too many people were
upset about using
166
00:06:20,281 --> 00:06:21,981
Aborted fetal tissue
for study.
167
00:06:22,016 --> 00:06:23,247
It's too bad, too.
168
00:06:23,282 --> 00:06:25,451
We really could've helped
a lot of people.
169
00:06:25,486 --> 00:06:26,717
Aye!
170
00:06:26,752 --> 00:06:28,921
What the hell am i supposed to
do with these things, huh?!
171
00:06:29,355 --> 00:06:31,523
God damn it!
172
00:06:32,825 --> 00:06:34,126
Dude, it looks like
cartman and kenny
173
00:06:34,161 --> 00:06:34,994
Are ditching
school again.
174
00:06:35,427 --> 00:06:36,728
Yeah, they're gonna
get busted again.
175
00:06:36,763 --> 00:06:38,030
All right, class,
let's take our seats.
176
00:06:38,464 --> 00:06:40,849
Now, before we get started,
stan and kyle,
177
00:06:40,884 --> 00:06:43,235
The principal needs to
see you in her office.
178
00:06:43,669 --> 00:06:44,935
The principal,
oh, come on!
179
00:06:44,970 --> 00:06:46,705
We don't know where
cartman is, miss choksondik.
180
00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:48,024
She needs to see you now.
181
00:06:48,059 --> 00:06:49,768
Ah, man,
here we go again.
182
00:06:49,803 --> 00:06:51,477
Use the jew
as a scapegoat.
183
00:06:54,079 --> 00:06:54,947
Hello, boys.
184
00:06:55,381 --> 00:06:57,549
Wait, what's
going on here?
185
00:06:57,983 --> 00:06:59,285
All right, look,
we don't know for sure
186
00:06:59,320 --> 00:07:00,551
Why cartman is
ditching school,
187
00:07:00,586 --> 00:07:01,887
But it has something
to do with abortions.
188
00:07:01,922 --> 00:07:03,153
That's all we know.
189
00:07:03,188 --> 00:07:04,490
You didn't do anything
wrong, boys,
190
00:07:04,924 --> 00:07:06,225
We just need
to talk to you.
191
00:07:06,260 --> 00:07:08,394
Have a seat.
192
00:07:09,695 --> 00:07:10,961
Boys, uh...
193
00:07:10,996 --> 00:07:15,334
Your little friend kenny went to
the hospital last night, m'kay.
194
00:07:15,768 --> 00:07:19,238
And, well,
he's pretty sick.
195
00:07:19,273 --> 00:07:21,207
Kenny's sick?
196
00:07:21,242 --> 00:07:23,107
Well, how sick?
197
00:07:23,142 --> 00:07:25,311
Children, kenny
has been diagnosed
198
00:07:25,744 --> 00:07:27,878
With a terminal disease.
199
00:07:27,913 --> 00:07:32,251
But, the doctors are gonna
make him better, right?
200
00:07:32,286 --> 00:07:33,118
Oh, dear.
201
00:07:33,552 --> 00:07:34,853
Mom, that's what
hospitals are for.
202
00:07:35,287 --> 00:07:36,155
They can make him
better.
203
00:07:36,190 --> 00:07:37,855
Randy.
204
00:07:37,890 --> 00:07:39,156
They don't
think so, stanley.
205
00:07:39,191 --> 00:07:41,759
Your friend is terminally ill
and that means...
206
00:07:41,794 --> 00:07:47,866
Well, son, that means he's going
to be going to heaven soon.
207
00:07:47,901 --> 00:07:50,035
Wait, kenny's
going to die?
208
00:07:50,070 --> 00:07:51,735
He might, kyle.
209
00:07:51,770 --> 00:07:56,073
But, he's our
f- F-F-Friend.
210
00:07:56,108 --> 00:07:58,711
We know, and that's why
he's gonna need you boys
211
00:07:58,746 --> 00:08:01,278
To be strong for him, m'kay.
212
00:08:01,313 --> 00:08:03,916
He needs you now
more than ever.
213
00:08:03,951 --> 00:08:06,518
No, this can't happen.
214
00:08:06,952 --> 00:08:08,470
Kenny can't die!
215
00:08:08,505 --> 00:08:09,989
Kenny can't die!
216
00:08:14,526 --> 00:08:16,695
Come on, jack, you gotta be
able to offer me more than that.
217
00:08:16,730 --> 00:08:19,098
Yes, i realize there's a ban
on stem cell research,
218
00:08:19,133 --> 00:08:21,432
But i've got 30 some-Odd
human fetuses in my backyard.
219
00:08:21,467 --> 00:08:24,937
I'm sure there's other research
your company can do with them.
220
00:08:24,972 --> 00:08:26,203
You'll take one?
221
00:08:26,238 --> 00:08:27,539
Okay, how much for one?
222
00:08:27,973 --> 00:08:30,142
Oh, jack, you're breaking
my balls here, jack.
223
00:08:30,177 --> 00:08:32,311
Hello, is thiscaptain bly's
seafood restaurant?
224
00:08:32,346 --> 00:08:34,011
Yeah, hi, i've got
a shipment of about 31
225
00:08:34,046 --> 00:08:36,215
Of the most succulent shrimp
from the west indies.
226
00:08:36,250 --> 00:08:37,950
These are killer
shrimp, gary,
227
00:08:38,384 --> 00:08:39,650
Your customers
are gonna love 'em.
228
00:08:39,685 --> 00:08:41,420
What kind of price are you
paying for shrimp?
229
00:08:41,854 --> 00:08:43,155
Oh, gary, you're breaking
my balls, gary.
230
00:08:43,190 --> 00:08:44,690
How about 10
and a quarter?
231
00:08:44,725 --> 00:08:46,759
Balls, gary,
breaking them.
232
00:08:46,794 --> 00:08:48,759
All right,
i'll call you back.
233
00:08:48,794 --> 00:08:50,095
Sweetie, your friends
are downstairs.
234
00:08:50,130 --> 00:08:51,362
They need to see you.
235
00:08:51,397 --> 00:08:52,915
Not now, mom, i've only
unloaded three "fetae",
236
00:08:52,950 --> 00:08:54,433
I've gotta sell the rest
before they spoil.
237
00:08:54,468 --> 00:08:55,734
They say
it's an emergency.
238
00:08:56,168 --> 00:08:57,035
All right.
239
00:08:57,070 --> 00:08:58,137
Butters?
240
00:08:58,172 --> 00:08:59,169
Yeah.
241
00:08:59,204 --> 00:09:00,072
Are you through databasing
the clientele sheet?
242
00:09:00,107 --> 00:09:01,338
Just about.
243
00:09:01,373 --> 00:09:02,241
All right, well,
you gotta take over
244
00:09:02,276 --> 00:09:03,108
The telemarketing
for a bit.
245
00:09:03,143 --> 00:09:04,375
Oh, okay.
246
00:09:04,410 --> 00:09:05,277
Just remember
what i taught you
247
00:09:05,312 --> 00:09:06,145
And follow protocol.
248
00:09:06,578 --> 00:09:07,446
The next number to try
is on the list.
249
00:09:07,481 --> 00:09:09,181
Right.
250
00:09:11,784 --> 00:09:14,386
Hello, is this mr. Thompson
with anatomy research?
251
00:09:14,820 --> 00:09:16,520
Yes, hello, sir.
252
00:09:16,555 --> 00:09:18,689
We have a surplus
of unborn fetuses
253
00:09:18,724 --> 00:09:21,326
That we think you could use
for dissection study.
254
00:09:21,361 --> 00:09:24,363
Uh-Huh, how much are you
pay for that?
255
00:09:24,398 --> 00:09:26,063
You're breaking my balls.
256
00:09:26,098 --> 00:09:28,700
I said you're breaking
my balls, mr. Thompson.
257
00:09:28,735 --> 00:09:31,268
My balls.
258
00:09:31,303 --> 00:09:33,905
What is this,
a p.T.A. Meeting?
259
00:09:33,940 --> 00:09:36,508
Cartman, kenny's
in the hospital.
260
00:09:36,942 --> 00:09:39,943
In the hospital, why?
261
00:09:39,978 --> 00:09:41,713
They told us he has
a muscular disease.
262
00:09:41,748 --> 00:09:44,750
And that, and that
he might die.
263
00:09:44,785 --> 00:09:46,485
Die... kenny?
264
00:09:46,919 --> 00:09:49,486
Don't you say that,
kenny's not gonna die.
265
00:09:49,521 --> 00:09:52,124
I'm going to take the boys to go
see him at the hospital, eric.
266
00:09:52,159 --> 00:09:54,293
We thought you might
want to come.
267
00:09:54,328 --> 00:09:56,262
Yeah, yeah, of course.
268
00:09:56,297 --> 00:09:58,197
Let me get my coat.
269
00:10:00,799 --> 00:10:01,667
There we go,
little buddy.
270
00:10:01,702 --> 00:10:02,933
Thank you.
271
00:10:02,968 --> 00:10:04,269
You sure you don't want
to take your jacket off,
272
00:10:04,304 --> 00:10:05,102
It's pretty warm?
273
00:10:05,137 --> 00:10:06,837
No thanks.
274
00:10:06,872 --> 00:10:08,173
Hey, look who has
some visitors.
275
00:10:08,607 --> 00:10:09,873
Ooh, what a lucky
little man.
276
00:10:09,908 --> 00:10:12,945
We'll be right outside
if you need us, kenny.
277
00:10:15,114 --> 00:10:16,415
Hey, dude,
how's it going?
278
00:10:16,450 --> 00:10:17,681
Okay, i guess.
279
00:10:17,716 --> 00:10:20,319
We brought you a present,
it's agobo fighter.
280
00:10:20,354 --> 00:10:22,054
Don't tell him
what it is, dude.
281
00:10:22,089 --> 00:10:23,355
Sorry.
282
00:10:25,524 --> 00:10:27,693
Hey, we were all talking about
how when you get better
283
00:10:27,728 --> 00:10:29,428
We're all gonna go down
to stark's pond again
284
00:10:29,463 --> 00:10:30,729
And go camping,
huh, stan?
285
00:10:31,163 --> 00:10:33,765
I-
286
00:10:37,669 --> 00:10:39,404
Stan, stan!
Where you going?
287
00:10:39,838 --> 00:10:40,671
I can't,
i just can't.
288
00:10:40,706 --> 00:10:42,224
Dude, he needs us
right now.
289
00:10:42,259 --> 00:10:43,742
I can't see him
like that, kyle.
290
00:10:43,777 --> 00:10:44,610
All those hoses
and wires.
291
00:10:45,043 --> 00:10:45,876
He's a kid, dude,
292
00:10:45,911 --> 00:10:47,646
He's supposed to be running
around and laughing.
293
00:10:47,681 --> 00:10:49,615
I know it's tough, but-
Look at me!
294
00:10:49,650 --> 00:10:51,467
I know it's tough,
okay, i know.
295
00:10:51,502 --> 00:10:52,827
But we have to be
tough right now.
296
00:10:52,862 --> 00:10:54,153
And what are we
supposed to do, huh?
297
00:10:54,586 --> 00:10:56,321
Stand in that room and
keep making small talk?
298
00:10:56,356 --> 00:10:57,189
Make believe like
everything's okay?
299
00:10:57,623 --> 00:10:58,455
I can't do it!
300
00:10:58,490 --> 00:10:59,791
Look, however hard
you think it is for you,
301
00:11:00,225 --> 00:11:01,093
It's a lot harder for him.
302
00:11:01,128 --> 00:11:02,628
Just leave me alone!
303
00:11:02,663 --> 00:11:04,094
Stan, you can't leave.
304
00:11:04,129 --> 00:11:06,732
I'm not the one who's
leaving, he is!
305
00:11:11,069 --> 00:11:12,769
Y'know, it's funny, kenny.
306
00:11:12,804 --> 00:11:14,540
Stan and kyle have
always sort of been
307
00:11:14,575 --> 00:11:15,841
Best friends, y'know.
308
00:11:16,275 --> 00:11:20,179
Well, i don't know if i ever
told you this, kenny, but...
309
00:11:20,612 --> 00:11:24,516
I kinda always thought
you were my best friend.
310
00:11:24,950 --> 00:11:25,817
I don't know.
311
00:11:26,251 --> 00:11:27,951
Yes, you're my
best friend too.
312
00:11:27,986 --> 00:11:31,023
Okay, we're gonna need to give
kenny some time to sleep now.
313
00:11:31,456 --> 00:11:32,289
Don't you worry,
kenny,
314
00:11:32,324 --> 00:11:33,625
I'm gonna find
a cure for you.
315
00:11:34,059 --> 00:11:36,228
Everything's
gonna be okay.
316
00:11:43,168 --> 00:11:44,001
Cartman?
317
00:11:44,036 --> 00:11:45,337
Oh, kyle, hey.
318
00:11:45,771 --> 00:11:47,072
What's going down, jew-Boy?
319
00:11:47,506 --> 00:11:50,507
Cartman, were you crying?
320
00:11:50,542 --> 00:11:52,711
No, no, i mean, i, i got
something in my eyes.
321
00:11:53,145 --> 00:11:54,012
The air in here is just-
322
00:11:54,047 --> 00:11:56,615
Oh, man.
323
00:11:57,049 --> 00:11:57,881
Hey, cartman.
324
00:11:57,916 --> 00:12:02,688
I care a lot
about him too.
325
00:12:08,760 --> 00:12:10,027
I'm gonna find a cure, kyle.
326
00:12:10,062 --> 00:12:11,797
I swear to god,
i'm gonna find a cure.
327
00:12:11,832 --> 00:12:13,532
Sure you will, cartman.
328
00:12:13,567 --> 00:12:15,267
Sure you will.
329
00:12:18,737 --> 00:12:21,773
This is where the bulk
of our stem cell research
330
00:12:21,808 --> 00:12:22,641
Was being done.
331
00:12:23,075 --> 00:12:23,907
But due to the
government ban
332
00:12:23,942 --> 00:12:25,642
We're mostly just
packing things up.
333
00:12:25,677 --> 00:12:27,846
Doctor, can you tell me exactly
how stem cells work?
334
00:12:27,881 --> 00:12:30,466
Look, you have trillions
of cells in your body-
335
00:12:30,501 --> 00:12:33,051
Heart cells, skin cells,
brain cells and so on.
336
00:12:33,086 --> 00:12:34,353
But before a cell
is designated
337
00:12:34,786 --> 00:12:36,955
As a toenail cell
or a pancrea cell,
338
00:12:36,990 --> 00:12:38,491
It's what we call
a stem cell.
339
00:12:38,526 --> 00:12:39,992
Sort of like
a blank cell.
340
00:12:40,425 --> 00:12:41,258
Do you understand?
341
00:12:41,293 --> 00:12:42,993
Not at all,
but go on.
342
00:12:43,028 --> 00:12:44,112
Because these
cells are blanks
343
00:12:44,147 --> 00:12:45,197
They will often
program themselves
344
00:12:45,631 --> 00:12:47,799
Based on what cells
you put around them.
345
00:12:47,834 --> 00:12:49,101
You see this rat?
346
00:12:49,534 --> 00:12:52,137
Earlier this year we surgically
removed the middle of her spine.
347
00:12:52,172 --> 00:12:54,540
Then we injected her
with some stem cells and,
348
00:12:54,575 --> 00:12:56,908
They became the missing
part of the spine.
349
00:12:56,943 --> 00:12:58,175
My god.
350
00:12:58,210 --> 00:12:59,945
Nerve cells damaged by
parkinson's disease
351
00:12:59,980 --> 00:13:01,680
Or heart tissue
of cardiac patients,
352
00:13:02,114 --> 00:13:05,584
Might ultimately be replaced by
tissue grown from stem cells.
353
00:13:05,619 --> 00:13:07,718
So then, could
stem cells be used
354
00:13:07,753 --> 00:13:09,921
On someone whose muscle
tissue is wasting away?
355
00:13:09,956 --> 00:13:11,188
In other words
356
00:13:11,223 --> 00:13:13,391
If a little boy was dying
from a muscular disease
357
00:13:13,426 --> 00:13:15,560
The stem cells could
become new muscle tissue.
358
00:13:15,595 --> 00:13:16,428
That's the theory.
359
00:13:16,862 --> 00:13:18,128
Well so then,
360
00:13:18,163 --> 00:13:20,332
If the stem cells are placed
next to ashakey's pizza
361
00:13:20,367 --> 00:13:21,867
They would become another
shakey's pizza.
362
00:13:21,902 --> 00:13:23,333
And you'd have your own
shakey's pizza
363
00:13:23,368 --> 00:13:25,103
Where you didn't have to
charge yourself to eat!
364
00:13:25,138 --> 00:13:26,855
Well, no, to build
another shakey's
365
00:13:26,890 --> 00:13:28,573
It would be better
to use lumber.
366
00:13:28,608 --> 00:13:29,406
Hmm.
367
00:13:29,441 --> 00:13:30,707
But, unfortunately,
368
00:13:30,742 --> 00:13:32,477
The government has banned
stem cell research.
369
00:13:32,512 --> 00:13:34,611
And so, we'll never know.
370
00:13:34,646 --> 00:13:35,514
Looks like somebody's
gonna have to try
371
00:13:35,947 --> 00:13:38,116
And change the
government's mind.
372
00:13:38,151 --> 00:13:39,383
Where are you going?
373
00:13:39,418 --> 00:13:40,719
There's a pretty brave kid
fighting his for his life
374
00:13:41,153 --> 00:13:42,454
In the hospital
right now, doctor.
375
00:13:42,888 --> 00:13:46,358
I'm gonna go get him some
bigger boxing gloves.
376
00:13:46,393 --> 00:13:47,659
Hey, kid...
377
00:13:48,960 --> 00:13:53,298
Give 'em hell.
378
00:13:54,166 --> 00:13:55,866
Oh, doctor.
379
00:13:55,901 --> 00:13:58,503
Thanks... thanks.
380
00:14:01,106 --> 00:14:02,806
Oh, hey, kid.
381
00:14:02,841 --> 00:14:06,311
Good luck...
good luck.
382
00:14:09,348 --> 00:14:10,649
Oh, and doctor.
383
00:14:11,083 --> 00:14:12,384
Oh, never mind.
384
00:14:16,521 --> 00:14:17,823
And see, here's
one from butters.
385
00:14:18,256 --> 00:14:20,425
It says, "we can't wait to see
you back in school, kenny."
386
00:14:20,460 --> 00:14:22,594
And it has a picture of him
and you in a little airplane.
387
00:14:23,028 --> 00:14:24,294
Oh, isn't that nice?
388
00:14:24,329 --> 00:14:26,498
You've got lots of friends,
don't you, kenny?
389
00:14:26,533 --> 00:14:28,198
Yes...
390
00:14:28,233 --> 00:14:29,101
But what about stan?
391
00:14:29,136 --> 00:14:30,367
Stan?
392
00:14:30,402 --> 00:14:31,703
Oh, well, no, there's
nothing here from stan.
393
00:14:32,137 --> 00:14:33,872
But stan's gonna come see you
real soon, i bet, kenny.
394
00:14:33,907 --> 00:14:35,572
I hope so.
395
00:14:35,607 --> 00:14:37,342
Hey, look who's here.
396
00:14:37,377 --> 00:14:38,608
Stan?!
397
00:14:38,643 --> 00:14:39,511
Hello, kenny.
398
00:14:39,945 --> 00:14:41,463
I'm laura jones and
this is bob farren.
399
00:14:41,498 --> 00:14:42,981
We're with the
make-A-Wish foundation.
400
00:14:43,016 --> 00:14:44,516
Oh, kenny,
isn't that nice?
401
00:14:44,551 --> 00:14:46,017
Make-A-Wish
foundation?
402
00:14:46,451 --> 00:14:47,753
We travel the country
giving special little
403
00:14:48,186 --> 00:14:49,921
Boys and girls like you
their biggest wish.
404
00:14:49,956 --> 00:14:51,223
Neat, huh, kenny?
405
00:14:51,258 --> 00:14:52,090
Yeah.
406
00:14:52,524 --> 00:14:54,259
So, kenny, if you
could have one wish
407
00:14:54,294 --> 00:14:56,428
What would it be?
408
00:14:58,597 --> 00:15:00,766
What's your wish, pal?
409
00:15:04,236 --> 00:15:05,936
What did he say?
410
00:15:05,971 --> 00:15:09,875
He said his wish
is not to die.
411
00:15:18,550 --> 00:15:21,586
Okay, and what if you
could have two wishes?
412
00:15:21,621 --> 00:15:24,154
What would
the second one be?
413
00:15:24,189 --> 00:15:27,659
I know, i bet you'd like
to meet madonna, huh?
414
00:15:32,864 --> 00:15:34,131
What was that?
415
00:15:34,166 --> 00:15:35,467
He said madonna's
an old anorexic whore
416
00:15:35,502 --> 00:15:36,733
Who wore out her
welcome years ago.
417
00:15:36,768 --> 00:15:38,503
And that now she suddenly
speaks with a british accent
418
00:15:38,538 --> 00:15:39,371
And she thinks
she can play the guitar.
419
00:15:39,805 --> 00:15:41,973
And she should go
f- K herself.
420
00:15:43,708 --> 00:15:45,443
Should i come in now?
421
00:15:45,478 --> 00:15:47,179
Uh, not quite yet.
422
00:15:53,685 --> 00:15:54,986
Hello there, children.
423
00:15:55,021 --> 00:15:55,819
Hey, chef.
424
00:15:55,854 --> 00:15:57,155
How's it going?
425
00:15:57,190 --> 00:15:58,422
Bad.
426
00:15:58,457 --> 00:16:01,024
Yeah, things have
been better, huh?
427
00:16:01,059 --> 00:16:02,794
Why would god let kenny
die, chef, why?
428
00:16:02,829 --> 00:16:04,963
Kenny's my f-F-Friend.
429
00:16:05,397 --> 00:16:08,216
Why can't god take someone
else's f-F-Friend?
430
00:16:08,251 --> 00:16:11,161
Stan, sometimes god
takes those closest to us
431
00:16:11,196 --> 00:16:14,072
Because it makes him
feel better about himself.
432
00:16:14,506 --> 00:16:17,073
He's a very
vengeful god, stan.
433
00:16:17,108 --> 00:16:19,277
He's all pissed off
about something we did
434
00:16:19,711 --> 00:16:21,229
Thousands of years ago.
435
00:16:21,264 --> 00:16:22,712
He just can't get over it.
436
00:16:22,747 --> 00:16:25,315
So he doesn't care
who he takes.
437
00:16:25,350 --> 00:16:27,519
Children, puppies-
It don't matter to him.
438
00:16:27,554 --> 00:16:29,254
So long as it makes us sad.
439
00:16:29,688 --> 00:16:30,555
Do you understand?
440
00:16:30,989 --> 00:16:32,724
Then why does god give us
anything to start with?
441
00:16:32,759 --> 00:16:33,990
Well, look at it this way.
442
00:16:34,025 --> 00:16:35,725
If you want to make
a baby cry,
443
00:16:35,760 --> 00:16:38,797
First you give it a lollipop,
then you take it away.
444
00:16:39,231 --> 00:16:41,399
If you never give it
a lollipop to begin with
445
00:16:41,434 --> 00:16:43,568
Then you would have
nothing to cry about.
446
00:16:43,603 --> 00:16:44,870
That's like god,
447
00:16:45,303 --> 00:16:47,437
Who gives us life
and love and help
448
00:16:47,472 --> 00:16:50,725
Just so he can tear it
all away and make us cry.
449
00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:53,979
So he can drink the
sweet milk of our tears.
450
00:16:54,014 --> 00:16:57,032
You see,
it's our tears, stan,
451
00:16:57,067 --> 00:17:00,051
That give god
his great power.
452
00:17:01,353 --> 00:17:03,522
I think i understand.
453
00:17:05,690 --> 00:17:08,692
My name is eric cartman
and i live in colorado.
454
00:17:08,727 --> 00:17:10,896
My best friend in the whole
world is kenny mccormack
455
00:17:10,931 --> 00:17:13,064
And he's sick right now.
456
00:17:13,099 --> 00:17:14,366
He's real sick.
457
00:17:14,799 --> 00:17:15,667
He's only
eight years old
458
00:17:16,101 --> 00:17:17,836
And the doctors don't think
he has very long to live.
459
00:17:17,871 --> 00:17:20,403
Look, i realize
that using the tissue
460
00:17:20,438 --> 00:17:24,342
From aborted fetuses for
research is a touchy subject,
461
00:17:24,377 --> 00:17:27,613
But, all i know is that if
there's a chance, a chance,
462
00:17:27,648 --> 00:17:31,200
That stem cell research could
save my best friend's life,
463
00:17:31,235 --> 00:17:34,753
Well, i guess i owe it to him
to try to change your minds.
464
00:17:35,186 --> 00:17:38,657
I love kenny mccormack and...
465
00:17:39,524 --> 00:17:42,561
I want you to
love him too.
466
00:17:42,994 --> 00:17:45,996
I'm sorry, i'm not the best
speaker in the world.
467
00:17:46,031 --> 00:17:52,537
Maybe i could put it best in
the words of a timeless song.
468
00:17:52,572 --> 00:17:56,441
? It was the heat
of the moment?
469
00:17:56,875 --> 00:18:00,310
? Telling me what
your heart meant?
470
00:18:00,345 --> 00:18:06,418
? The heat of the moment
shone in your eyes?
471
00:18:06,453 --> 00:18:10,322
? I never meant to be
so bad to you?
472
00:18:10,755 --> 00:18:14,624
? One thing i said
that i would never do?
473
00:18:14,659 --> 00:18:18,563
? One look from you and
i would fall from grace?
474
00:18:18,598 --> 00:18:21,166
? And that would
wipe the smile?
475
00:18:21,201 --> 00:18:23,335
? Right from my face?
476
00:18:23,768 --> 00:18:28,106
? Do you remember when
we used to dance?
477
00:18:28,141 --> 00:18:31,810
? And incidents arose
from circumstance?
478
00:18:31,845 --> 00:18:36,699
? One thing led to another
we were young?
479
00:18:36,734 --> 00:18:41,553
? And we would scream
together songs unsung?
480
00:18:41,588 --> 00:18:45,257
? It was the heat
of the moment?
481
00:18:45,292 --> 00:18:48,892
? Telling me what
your heart meant?
482
00:18:48,927 --> 00:18:54,566
? The heat of the moment
shone in your eyes?
483
00:18:59,237 --> 00:19:00,503
And so you see,
now that the ban
484
00:19:00,538 --> 00:19:01,805
On stem cell research
has been lifted
485
00:19:01,840 --> 00:19:04,442
We can sell your fetus to
companies like alder labs.
486
00:19:04,477 --> 00:19:05,709
Oh, i don't know.
487
00:19:05,744 --> 00:19:08,780
Look, i can offer you $75 for
that fetus right now, jill.
488
00:19:08,815 --> 00:19:10,480
$75? Well, all right.
489
00:19:10,515 --> 00:19:12,684
Great, just sign
right here, please.
490
00:19:12,719 --> 00:19:14,384
Hi, having an
abortion today?
491
00:19:14,419 --> 00:19:16,588
Great, listen, if you'd like to
sell your abortion for research
492
00:19:16,623 --> 00:19:18,288
I'm offering $75.
493
00:19:18,323 --> 00:19:20,925
Help out a little bit with
your medical bill in there.
494
00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:22,227
Why don't you
sign right there.
495
00:19:22,262 --> 00:19:23,493
Excuse me, ma'am,
496
00:19:23,528 --> 00:19:24,829
Can i interest you in
selling your aborted fetus?
497
00:19:24,864 --> 00:19:26,564
We're not going to
the abortion clinic.
498
00:19:26,599 --> 00:19:27,432
I'm gonna
have this baby.
499
00:19:27,866 --> 00:19:28,733
Oh, i'm sorry to hear that,
500
00:19:29,167 --> 00:19:30,902
Because there's a little boy
dying in a hospital right now
501
00:19:30,937 --> 00:19:32,637
Who could sure use that baby
more than you could.
502
00:19:33,071 --> 00:19:34,806
The stem cells from your fetus
could help save his life.
503
00:19:34,841 --> 00:19:37,409
Oh, well, i guess
we can always
504
00:19:37,444 --> 00:19:38,710
Just make another one.
505
00:19:39,144 --> 00:19:40,445
Oh, mark, i love you.
506
00:19:40,480 --> 00:19:41,711
All right!
507
00:19:41,746 --> 00:19:43,915
Now kenny has
a fighting chance.
508
00:19:47,385 --> 00:19:48,687
Young man, do you know
where you're going?
509
00:19:49,120 --> 00:19:50,638
Yeah, i'm gonna
see my friend
510
00:19:50,673 --> 00:19:52,157
Because he needs me
right now.
511
00:19:52,192 --> 00:19:53,423
All right!
512
00:19:53,458 --> 00:19:56,061
Go, kid,
good for you.
513
00:19:58,663 --> 00:20:00,398
Hey, kenny.
514
00:20:05,603 --> 00:20:07,338
Oh, no.
515
00:20:07,772 --> 00:20:09,906
No.
516
00:20:09,941 --> 00:20:13,411
He just, he just
stopped breathing.
517
00:20:13,446 --> 00:20:14,678
And it was over.
518
00:20:14,713 --> 00:20:18,183
But... i didn't
get to see him.
519
00:20:18,218 --> 00:20:21,653
Kyle, i didn't get
to say good-Bye.
520
00:20:23,388 --> 00:20:25,990
Did he say anything
before he went?
521
00:20:26,025 --> 00:20:28,176
He just said...
522
00:20:28,211 --> 00:20:30,328
"Where's stan?"
523
00:20:36,401 --> 00:20:39,402
And so, we will
all miss kenny-
524
00:20:39,437 --> 00:20:42,474
His playful laughter,
his innocent smile.
525
00:20:42,907 --> 00:20:46,377
But we will never forget that
it was because of brave kenny
526
00:20:46,412 --> 00:20:49,848
That stem cell research was
allowed to continue.
527
00:20:50,281 --> 00:20:51,149
I let kenny down.
528
00:20:51,583 --> 00:20:53,318
I'm his worst
f- F-Friend.
529
00:20:53,353 --> 00:20:55,053
You guys, come quick!
530
00:20:55,088 --> 00:20:56,319
What, cartman?
531
00:20:56,354 --> 00:20:59,390
It's- Why, it's a
miracle, you guys!
532
00:21:01,559 --> 00:21:02,861
What, cartman,
what's happened?
533
00:21:02,896 --> 00:21:04,994
Look.
534
00:21:05,029 --> 00:21:06,765
I put the stem cells from
all the fetuses i had
535
00:21:06,800 --> 00:21:08,031
Next to shakey's.
536
00:21:08,066 --> 00:21:10,668
And theyarereplicating
a new shakey's.
537
00:21:10,703 --> 00:21:12,368
It worked!
538
00:21:12,403 --> 00:21:13,670
This whole time
539
00:21:13,705 --> 00:21:15,006
You were just using
kenny's illness
540
00:21:15,041 --> 00:21:16,541
To lift the ban on
stem cell research
541
00:21:16,576 --> 00:21:18,610
So you could sell
your stupid fetuses?
542
00:21:18,645 --> 00:21:20,645
Stupid fetuses?!
It's my own shakey's.
543
00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:21,946
I actually hugged you.
544
00:21:22,380 --> 00:21:24,514
I held you in my arms
and cried with you.
545
00:21:24,549 --> 00:21:26,284
I figure i only need 100
or so more aborted babies
546
00:21:26,319 --> 00:21:28,019
And i can finish up
the kitchen.
547
00:21:28,054 --> 00:21:29,285
Aaah!
548
00:21:29,320 --> 00:21:30,404
Ahh, kyle!
549
00:21:30,439 --> 00:21:31,489
Kyle!
550
00:21:31,923 --> 00:21:33,658
Hey, i wasn't kenny's
worst f-F-Friend.
551
00:21:34,092 --> 00:21:35,393
Cartman was.
552
00:21:36,694 --> 00:21:39,297
Captioning made possible by
comedy central
553
00:21:40,165 --> 00:21:41,900
Captioned by
soundwriters
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
www.tvsubtitles.net
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