All language subtitles for South Park 5x12 Here Comes The Neighborhood

Captioning made possible by
comedy central

? I'm going down
to south park?

? Gonna have
myself a time?

? Friendly faces
everywhere?

? Humble folks
without temptation?

? Going down
to south park?

? Gonna leave my
woes behind?

? Ample parking
day or night?

? People spouting
"howdy neighbor"?

? Headin' on up
to south park?

? Gonna see
if i can't unwind?

? So come on down
to south park?

? And meet some
friends of mine?

And so,
just like in nature,

I can add the mixture
into the volcano and-

Oh, pele, god of fire,
show us your-

Oh, it's all g-Gooey.

Okay, good job, butters,
you get a check.

Thank you,
miss choksondik.

I got a check,
that's like a "c".

Okay, whose project
should we look at next?

How about... eric.

Eric cartman.

Stand by, please.

Now, eric!

Oh, goddammit!

Ha, ha!

Shut up, jew!

Yes, well.

For my project i made a pencil,
taped to a pen.

In this way we see the duality
of writing devices

That occurs in nature.

You just put that thing
together, just now.

I'm giving you
a check minus.

Ah! Goddammit,
i hate check minus!

Sit down.

I'll make you
eat your parents.

What did you say?

Nothing.

All right, token,
you're next.

Using my laptop
i hooked into the internet

And found a meteorology
website.

I downloaded the data,

And with my dad's
video projector,

I can show you the graph i made
of predictable weather patterns

Over the next three months.

Ohh...

I also printed out the results
on my color printer.

Here you are,
miss choksondik.

Very, very good, token,
you get a check plus.

All right!

Oh, that is such
bullcrap!

Oh, eric, for the
love of god.

No, no, see, this is the
fundamental flaw

With the check, check plus,
check minus system.

The only reason token
was able to do all that

Is because his family
is rich.

My family isn't rich.

Oh, come on, token
your new house is

Four times the size
of anyone else's in town.

And who else gets crab cakes
and lobster tail

In their lunch boxes?

Your family is rich, dude. But i-

Let's just see where token's
clothes come from, shall we?

Ooh,armani exchange.

Armani exchange!

All the rest of us have to
buy our clothes atj-Mart.

Have you ever even been
inside a j-Mart, token?!

I didn't think so.

Yeah, dude,
your family's so rich

They have their own
pool table.

Yeah, and their own
sprinkler system.

You don't think
you're rich?

Hello, token, how was
school today?

Mom, dad, why do we have
a bigger house

Than everybody else
in south park?

Well, because we have
more money, son.

I know, but why?

Well, because we went
to graduate school

And therefore have more
lucrative jobs

Than most people in town.

For instance,
your mother is a chemist

For a pharmaceutical company,

Whereas your friend
eric cartman's mother

Is a crack whore.

One pays more
than the other.

Why, sweetie,
what's the matter?

All the kids
at school today

Made fun of me
because i'm rich.

Oh.

I don't wanna
be rich anymore.

I want to eat macaroni
and cheese for dinner

And wear clothes
from j-Mart.

J- Mart?!

Son, you don't know
what you're saying.

I just wanna be like all the
other kids in south park.

Please, mom and dad,
please!

You... sure you want
to do this, son?

I'm sure.

Hmm...

Where's the valet?

He must be parking
someone else's car.

Ah, here we go.

Take good care
of it, please.

Here's $20.

Ho!

They've activated some kind
of alien blinding device.

That's not a
blinding device, dad,

It's fluorescent
lighting.

Oh.

Excuse me, where
would we find

Young men's
fashion apparel?

Aisle 6, next to
the pretzels.

Next to the?

Come on!

Hey, look, these pants are
only five bucks apiece.

They must really suck.
What do you think?

What, what brand
are they?

It doesn't matter, mom.

They're poor people pants.

Hey, uh, sharon.

Isn't that
the williamses?

Huh?
Oh, yeah it is.

What are they doing here?

They can afford to shop
atcherry creek.

You see that, sheila,

The williamses
are shopping here.

I don't get it.

He must pull in
at least 200,000 a year.

Son, can you just
hurry it up?

I don't think we
quite fit in here.

Ooh, looks like you landed
on park avenue, stan.

You owe me $10 million.

Hey, guys.

Oh, hey, dude, did you
bring the movie?

I sure did.

Hey, you changed
your clothes, token.

Yeah well, y'know, i did a
little shopping at j-Mart.

All right, well, let's just
watch "the lion king".

Cartman's cheating
anyways.

Here you go.

What's that?

It's a d.V.D.
Of the lion king.

D.V.D.? We don't
own a d.V.D. Player.

Yeah, dude, nobody does,
they're too expensive.

Not too expensive for token's
rich-Ass family apparently.

Don't you have
a v.H.S. Of it?

I only have this.

Oh, well, let me take this
disk up to the "enterprise"

And see if "captain kirk"
can decrypt it.

What's a v.H.S.?

Oh, jesus, dude.

Come on, guys,

We'll just have to find
other stuff to do.

Heh, "what's a v.H.S.?"

? Why can't i be like
all the other kids?

? They all have
three-Bedroom homes?

? Broken trucks
on their lawns?

? And cut up
hot dogs for lunch?

? It's not my fault
my parents succeed so much?

? There's no one in town
i can relate to?

? I play with autographed
baseball bats?

? While everyone else just plays
with sticks and pine cones?

? Has a boy ever
felt so alone?

? Well who needs
them anyway?

? I won't pretend
i'm something i'm not?

? If i can't be poor?

? I've got to deal
with what i've got?

? If i can't be like them?

? What i need is more
rich kids around?

? So i'm not
the only one?

? And then i won't
be so down?

? Please god
send more rich kids?

? To my town?

Ooh, look at this, honey.

A beautiful unspoiled
town in the rockies.

This is just what we've
been looking for.

Like aspen was
30 years ago.

Sounds nice.

We could buy hundreds of acres
of land for next to nothing.

And then i could finally
live like a cowboy.

Oh, will, the country would
be such a nicer place

To raise our kids.

Oh, kids!
Yes, daddy.

How would you like to move
to the colorado rockies?

The mountains,
daddy?

Can we have horses?

Oh, can we,
can we, daddy?

You bet!
Hooray!

Well, here it is,
our home to be.

Oh, will,
it's beautiful.

Hi, welcome to
the neighborhood.

Well, thank you,
young man.

We're the smiths.

Ah, a local boy.

You shall be
our new playmate.

I'm frederick.

This is my sister lisa
and my brother daniel.

I'm token.

Our daddy is a
very famous actor.

What does your
daddy do?

Ah, he's a lawyer,
i think.

How quaint.

Kids, why don't you go
play with little token

While your mother and i
check out the town.

Very well,
come, local boy,

Show us how to play
your mountain games.

All right!

Thanks, god.

And this is the room
where my mom and dad

Keep their original
van gogh painting.

Yes, yes, we have
one of those, too.

In fact, we have seven
of them, i believe.

You do?
God, that's great!

Why?

I'm just so happy
you guys moved into town.

You see, i used to be
the only rich kid.

All the other families here are
kind of low to middle income.

Why, what happened to
all their money?

Well, they never really
had any money.

Well then, why don't their
daddies just act in a movie?

Well, i think that they-

Sometimes children must be
very firm with their daddies.

Indeed.

Like when daddy doesn't
want to act in a movie

Because he thinks
the script is bad.

So we must
plead with him.

"Please, daddy, please,
it's $20 million, daddy."

"Please, daddy,
please."

"20 million is still 12
million after taxes, daddy."

"I want a llama, daddy,
please, daddy!"

"Daddy, please!"

"Daddy!"

And so daddy
does the picture.

That's... great.

$20 million great.

? I found a girl
who had an innie?

? And i felt it
with my jimmy?

? Playa haters
try to dis me?

? 'Cause my rhymes
are just too...?

Sorry, snoop dogg,

But will smith is
on line 3 for you.

Oh.

William, how are you,
buddy?

Great, snoop dogg,
and you?

Couldn't be better.

I'm just laying down some
vocals for my new album.

Great, snoo-Snoo.

Listen, remember how we
always talked about

Wanting to buy property
up in the mountains

So our kids could
ski and ride horses?

Oh yes, the kids bug me
about it all the time.

Well, i found the place,
snooty roo.

It's in the rockies
but totally undiscovered,

Laid-Back and beautiful.

Oh, it sounds lovely!

You really should
come give it a look.

Jada and i would love for some
friends to move here with us.

I certainly will, william.

And perhaps i'll give ol'
magic and kobe bryant a call.

They've been looking for
vacation properties as well.

Great!

Well, listen, let me let you
get back to your recording.

I'll see you soon, bye.

Bye.

All right let's take it
from the top, gang.

? Shout "hell yeah"
from my vehicle?

? Living is a miracle?

Look, there's more ofthem
moving into our town.

Y'know, oprah winfrey is
building a house up on cannon,

And some snoop doggy doo doo
built a gigantic place on main.

Yep, there goes
the neighborhood.

That's the fifth family of them
that's moved here.

Seems like
all of a sudden

South park is being
overrun bythosetypes.

Hey, what are you
saying?

What types?

You know,thosetypes-

Rich people.

Oh.

I don't take kindly
to rich folk!

Neither does ned.

Nope.

I remember
back in the day

Rich folk weren't
allowed in south park.

Now they're moving here
in droves!

They're gonna be sending
their kids to our schools

And mixing them with our
pure, non-Rich kids.

Oh yeah,
and it won't be long

Before they drive all of us
poor, underachieving people

Out of town with inflated
real estate costs.

Damn, i hate them
stupid richers.

Yeah, hey, rich guy!
Hey, richie rich!

Yeah, i'm talking
to you, richer.

What's in the
huge box, richer,

Your checkbook?

Yeah, how many
rich people does it take

To screw in a lightbulb?

None!

They can hire people
to do it for them!

Yeah, hey hey-

You guys know why richers
have such big garages?

'Cause they need a place
for all theirporsches

And boats and
aircraft carriers.

Yeah, that's right,
cash-Chucker.

Go have fun with your
$2 million house.

I guess we showed them.

A little to the left.

That's great.

And let's put another
pool over there.

Uh-Huh, good.

Token, these are oprah's
nearly-Adopted children,

Dominique and zizi.

Hello!
Hi.

Cheerio!

Ah, and these are
puff daddy's kids-

P. Diddy mini,
p. Poofy bite-Size

And puffa diddy diddy
puff pun size.

Wow, my plan to get rich people
here sure did work.

Hey, i got a great idea!

Let's all pack some lunches
and go sledding.

Oh no, we're
going shopping.

Shopping! Shopping!

Yes, come, token.

We're all going to
head down to the mall

And buy some of
the stores.

Oh, all right then.

Excuse me, can we get
a couple beers over here?

They've got nice expensive beers
for you across the street

At the new wolfgang puck's.

That's all right, we just want
some nice cheap beer tonight.

Maybe you didn't see
the sign out front.

This bar is for people living
below their means only.

Yeah! Yeah!

This is a free country.

I can have a drink
wherever i want.

Come on, kobe,
let's just go.

This ain't over,
this ain't over by a long shot.

Oh, those richers
are getting snooty.

We've got to
show these richers

That they aren't
welcome here.

What do you mean?

How about tonight we sneak up
to one of their houses,

And right on their lawn,

We'll set fire to
a big lower case "t".

Lower case "t"?

Yeah for
"time to leave".

Yeah! Yeah!

Jimbo, you take some folk

And build a big, wooden
lower case "t".

I'll take the rest and get
some gas and torches ready.

All right! All right!

"T"?

T- Time to leave?

"T" is for time to leave,
cash-Chucker!

I'm calling the police.

I think
we scared him.

Yeah, next house
we'll do a capital "t",

To show them wereally
mean business!

Yeah! Yeah!

Now, token,
polo is very simple.

You simply must hit the
"williets" into "somesilion"?

With your "fragamenth".

Well yeah, but can't
we just play

Without wearing these
uncomfortable uniforms?

Can't we play without
the uniforms?

Yes, and let's eat caviar
without belinis as well.

Now come, token,
and remember,

It doesn't matter
who wins.

It the matter who wins
three times in a row.

Tallyho!

Tallyho! Tallyho!

Hooray!

Go frederick,
it's wonderful!

What in the hell
are they doing?

Is that fun?

I don't know, we don't have
horses so we can't play.

Well, let's just play
our game then.

All right.
I'll start.

I'll kick you
in the nuts, kenny!

Ooh!

I'll kick you
in the nuts, stan!

I'll kick you in
the nuts, cartman.

Ow!

You see, you must
pay attention, token.

I was able to "jollyrow"
your "davishmere"

With a "forecastle".

This game is
too confusing.

How about we have
a snowball fight?

A "snowball" fight?

How barbaric.

Yes, token, if you want to play
such savage games

I suggest you go
live with lions.

I don't fit in
anywhere.

Oh boy, we're going
to the zoo.

We can eat
jellopudding.

All right, this is
gonna be fun kids.

We're going to the zoo.

We can eat the jello pudding
and chocolate cake.

Hey, what are you doing?

If you're gonna ride
the bus in south park

You're gonna have to
sit in the front!

Yeah!
Yeah!

That's where the
first-Class seating is.

Yeah, how do you
like that, richer?

It's very nice
actually.

Yeah, i'll bet it is.

Very, very comfy.

Uh-Huh,
looks like it.

Hello, my name is token.

I don't fit in with all the kids
at south park elementary

So i invited a bunch of
rich kids to move to town.

The problem is, i don't
fit in with them either.

That's why i've come
to live with you.

So if you'll have me and
raise me one of your own

I promise to be the
best lion i can be!

Ahh, yeah.

? Shovel that snow, baby?

? It's all nice
heavy and wet?

? Just-?

? We shall persevere?

? We shall
persevere?

You there,
come march with us.

For what?

All the poor people in town
think they can persecute

And harass us
decent rich folk.

So we're uniting and marching
on the town square.

The million
millionaire march!

Yeah! Yeah!

Come on, brother.

But... i'm not rich.

What?

I'm just a school
cafeteria chef.

I don't make much money.

We'll give you $100.

Ooh, fudge the snow now.

? I shall persevere?

? We shall persevere?

Errr!

Yum yum.

Look at the little
black lion, mommy.

He's cute, isn't he?

Roar!

What are you
doing here, boy?

You, you talked.
I understood you.

I must be
becoming a lion.

You're not
becoming a lion.

The only way you can do
that is to see aslan.

Who's aslan?

Very well,
walk this way.

Is this the boy who's been
living in our realm?

Yes.

Are you aslan?

I am.

Well, i'm token.

So, you want to live with
the lions, do you?

Yes, umm, great aslan.

I don't fit in
anywhere else.

And what makes you think
you'd fit in with us?

Well, i don't know.

Do you like jokes?

What?

Jokes, you know,
funny, ha ha!

Us lions love jokes.

I like jokes a lot.

Hmm, then there may be
hope in you yet,

Young apprentice lion.

Very well, we will
let you stay.

If- You can pull this
thorn from my paw.

Go on, try it,
pull my thorn.

Come on,
pull my thorn!

So can i stay?

You may.

But being a lion may be
harder than you think.

A million millionaires
are gathering their ranks

And will be marching on
the town square tonight

In south park to
petition the end

Of separate bars, bus seating
and restaurants.

It looks like it will be
a great turnout

As some of the
millionaires also paid

Several thousand mexicans
to march for them.

If they get that petition passed
it's all over.

I guess we learned
our lesson.

You can't fight rich folk,
they're just too powerful.

Now, come on, is that
any way to talk?

They won, garrison,

They can't be
scared out of town.

No... we just haven't
scared them the right way.

Think about it.

What scares rich people
more than anything?

Ghosts?

Bingo.

Rich people won't want
to live in south park

If they think
it's haunted.

Yeah! Yeah!

Everyone get some
sheets from home.

If we can't chase
the richers out,

We'll spook 'em out!

Yeah!
Let's go!

Aslan.

Yes, what is it, young
lion apprentice?

I think i'm gonna
go home now.

Home?

But i thought your friends
made fun of you at home.

They do, but i guess
i learned something today.

You see, even though kids at
south park make fun of me

I still like
hanging around them

More than snobby rich kids
or lions.

Even though i may be
different from them

I still like my
old friends best.

It sounds like you've
learned much,

Young lion apprentice.

Very well.

But before you go

Perhaps you would like
a stick of gum?

No thanks.

Go on, it's spearmint.

No, because there's
a spring in there.

And if i pull the gum out
it's gonna hurt my finger.

Ohh, so you don't
want any gum then?

Are you sure?

Go on, try it!

Ow.

Oh, that is
good stuff!

Jesus, lions suck.

And so it is with
great determination

That us decent rich americans
have gathered to say

We will be
separated no more.

Hooray! Hooray!

This certainly has been
an enlightening evening.

And as mayor
i accept your petition

And will abolish
all separation laws.

Yeah! Yeah!

And i want to assure
the nation that is watching

That south park is not a town
of prejudice or bigotry.

Woo... woo...

Boo!

Boo!

Boo!

What the?

Oh god, no.

Boo!

Haa!

Karl, do you see
what i see?

Yes, martin.

I do believe this town
is "hainted".

Boo!

Kids, go find the
limo and get in!

You didn't tell me
this town was hainted.

I didn't know!

I! Didn't! Know!

It's working.

They're scared
to death.

Pack up your
things quickly,

We gotta
get out of here.

Boo!

Oh, hey, there's token.

Hey, guys.

Dude, we're gonna play
football, you wanna play?

You mean...
you want me around?

Sure, dude,
you're our friend.

Yeah, i know.

But you guys always rip
on me for being rich.

Dude, just because we rip
on you for being rich

Doesn't mean
we don't like you.

Yeah, we're guys, dude.

We find something about
all our friends to rip on.

We made fun of you
for being rich

Just like we make fun of
butters for being wimpy.

They sure do.

Yeah, like we rip on
kyle for being a jew.

Right.
That's right, huh?

And stan for being
in love with wendy.

Yeah, i get it
for that.

And cartman
for being fat.

Uh-Huh.

And cartman
for being stupid.

And cartman for having
a whore for a mom. Hey.

And cartman for being
a sadistic asshole.

Hey, you did me
already!

You're right, guys.

For now on, i'm fine with being
made fun of for being rich.

Oh, but we're not gonna rip on
you for being rich anymore.

You're not?

No, dude, because since you
got your feelings so hurt

For being ripped on,
now we think you're a pussy.

Yeah, so now you're
a pussy- Pussaholic.

Come on, token, we're
gonna play football, you puss.

Pussy!

Yeah, what a puss.

Yeah, that guy's a pussy.

Wait, i like being ripped on
for being rich better!

That was it.

We just saw the last of 'em
speeding away in a van.

All right! All right!

They were so scared, i'm sure
they'll never be back.

That's great!

Now we can sell all their homes
and become millionaires!

What?

But then you had us do
all that for nothing.

Don't you see?

If you get rich
selling these homes

Then there will still be
rich people in south park.

Yeah, you'd become
what you hate.

Well yeah, but at least i got
rid of all those damn ni-

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