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1
00:00:06,138 --> 00:00:08,741
Captioning made possible by
comedy central
2
00:00:08,776 --> 00:00:10,276
? I'm going down
to south park?
3
00:00:10,311 --> 00:00:11,777
? Gonna have
myself a time?
4
00:00:12,211 --> 00:00:13,478
? Friendly faces
everywhere?
5
00:00:13,513 --> 00:00:15,248
? Humble folks
without temptation?
6
00:00:15,283 --> 00:00:17,000
? Going down
to south park?
7
00:00:17,035 --> 00:00:18,527
? Gonna leave my
woes behind?
8
00:00:18,562 --> 00:00:20,019
? Ample parking
day or night?
9
00:00:20,453 --> 00:00:21,754
? People spouting
"howdy neighbor"?
10
00:00:22,188 --> 00:00:23,706
? Headin' on up
to south park?
11
00:00:23,741 --> 00:00:25,224
? Gonna see
if i can't unwind?
12
00:00:28,694 --> 00:00:30,863
? So come on down
to south park?
13
00:00:30,898 --> 00:00:33,032
? And meet some
friends of mine?
14
00:00:38,938 --> 00:00:40,673
Remember when life used
to be simple and cool?
15
00:00:41,107 --> 00:00:42,842
Not really.
16
00:00:43,276 --> 00:00:44,143
Uh, hey, how's it
going, fellas?
17
00:00:44,577 --> 00:00:45,843
Butters, what the hell
are you doing?
18
00:00:45,878 --> 00:00:48,012
Well, i'm just standing
around being a kid, why?
19
00:00:48,047 --> 00:00:50,650
How come you're all wearing
those oogy spacemen masks?
20
00:00:50,685 --> 00:00:51,916
These are gas masks,
butters!
21
00:00:51,951 --> 00:00:53,252
Yeah, if you don't
have a gas mask
22
00:00:53,287 --> 00:00:54,554
You're gonna get
smallpox or anthrax.
23
00:00:54,589 --> 00:00:56,254
What?
24
00:00:56,289 --> 00:00:57,590
Oh jesus, i don't wanna
get the 'thrax, fellas.
25
00:00:58,024 --> 00:00:58,856
What do i do?
26
00:00:58,891 --> 00:01:00,626
There's nothing you can do
except stop breathing.
27
00:01:00,661 --> 00:01:01,893
Stop breathing?
28
00:01:01,928 --> 00:01:02,795
Yeah, you can't get it
if you don't breathe.
29
00:01:02,830 --> 00:01:04,096
Oh, all right then.
30
00:01:17,109 --> 00:01:19,278
Okay, next.
31
00:01:21,881 --> 00:01:23,581
Next.
32
00:01:23,616 --> 00:01:26,218
Let's see,hotties,
juicy, whoppers.
33
00:01:26,253 --> 00:01:28,387
Okay, next.
34
00:01:29,255 --> 00:01:30,087
Aha!
35
00:01:30,122 --> 00:01:31,640
What the hell are you
doing with this?
36
00:01:31,675 --> 00:01:33,159
Those are myhootie owl
round tip scissors.
37
00:01:33,194 --> 00:01:34,425
These are a weapon!
38
00:01:34,460 --> 00:01:36,629
Oh, come on, how am i gonna
kill people with those?
39
00:01:36,664 --> 00:01:37,496
I'll think of a way.
40
00:01:37,930 --> 00:01:38,797
Now, move along.
41
00:01:38,832 --> 00:01:39,630
God damn it!
42
00:01:39,665 --> 00:01:42,702
All right, next!
43
00:01:44,437 --> 00:01:46,172
Okay, clear.
44
00:01:56,148 --> 00:01:57,883
Oh, jesus, man,
they're gonna get me!
45
00:01:57,918 --> 00:01:59,150
Oh, christ!
46
00:01:59,185 --> 00:02:00,451
They're gonna get me.
47
00:02:00,486 --> 00:02:02,438
All right, class, as some
of you may of heard,
48
00:02:02,473 --> 00:02:04,355
The president has asked
that american children
49
00:02:04,390 --> 00:02:07,825
All send one dollar to the
children of afghanistan.
50
00:02:07,860 --> 00:02:11,764
So i have a list of addresses
and we're gonna all chip in.
51
00:02:11,799 --> 00:02:13,030
Ha!
52
00:02:13,065 --> 00:02:14,800
I'm not giving a dollar
to those towel-Heads.
53
00:02:14,835 --> 00:02:16,535
Eric, the afghan people
need our help.
54
00:02:16,969 --> 00:02:17,802
Oh, i'm sorry,
55
00:02:17,837 --> 00:02:19,572
But i thought we were at war
with these assholes!
56
00:02:19,607 --> 00:02:20,873
We're at war with
terrorists, fat-Ass,
57
00:02:21,307 --> 00:02:22,139
Not with afghanistan.
58
00:02:22,174 --> 00:02:23,007
And the only reason
you care
59
00:02:23,042 --> 00:02:24,308
Is 'cause you don't
wanna give up a dollar.
60
00:02:24,343 --> 00:02:26,043
That dollar buys me a
chocolate milk for lunch!
61
00:02:26,078 --> 00:02:28,247
What, you want me to just get
a regular milk for 10 cents?
62
00:02:28,282 --> 00:02:30,850
Now look, it isn't our fault
that terrorists hate us.
63
00:02:30,885 --> 00:02:31,717
We're just kids.
64
00:02:32,151 --> 00:02:33,452
We aren't the ones
bombing them now.
65
00:02:33,487 --> 00:02:34,719
We're just kids.
66
00:02:34,754 --> 00:02:36,055
There's a lot of crazy stuff
going on in the world,
67
00:02:36,489 --> 00:02:37,790
But we're just
caught in the middle.
68
00:02:38,224 --> 00:02:39,056
It's not our fault.
69
00:02:39,091 --> 00:02:40,393
The afghan kids are caught
in the middle, too.
70
00:02:40,826 --> 00:02:42,128
Yes, but they're
sand monkeys!
71
00:02:42,561 --> 00:02:43,863
All right, children,
we're all sending a dollar
72
00:02:44,296 --> 00:02:45,814
To the kids
in afghanistan.
73
00:02:45,849 --> 00:02:47,298
That's it,
end of discussion!
74
00:02:47,333 --> 00:02:50,803
God damn it, i hate
regular milk!
75
00:03:02,948 --> 00:03:03,382
Eh!
76
00:03:12,925 --> 00:03:14,660
Ahh!
77
00:03:24,203 --> 00:03:25,938
Ahh!
78
00:03:35,481 --> 00:03:37,216
Ahh!
79
00:04:11,484 --> 00:04:13,652
Another high alert status for
terrorist activity this weekend.
80
00:04:13,687 --> 00:04:16,255
The government said bad things
are likely to happen.
81
00:04:17,556 --> 00:04:19,074
Meanwhile, the world
continues to back down
82
00:04:19,109 --> 00:04:20,558
From their support
of the united states,
83
00:04:20,593 --> 00:04:22,328
Saying that they were really
only kidding to begin with.
84
00:04:22,762 --> 00:04:23,629
Hey, mom,
doorbell's ringing.
85
00:04:25,364 --> 00:04:26,665
Hey, sharon.
86
00:04:27,099 --> 00:04:29,268
Maybe you should stop watching
the news for a little bit.
87
00:04:31,437 --> 00:04:34,907
Sharon, you've been
watchingcnnfor about...
88
00:04:35,341 --> 00:04:36,173
Eight weeks now.
89
00:04:36,208 --> 00:04:38,377
Don't you want to watch
something else?
90
00:04:38,412 --> 00:04:39,245
Sh-Sharon?
91
00:04:39,678 --> 00:04:41,196
Hey, look what the
postman brought me!
92
00:04:41,231 --> 00:04:42,715
It's a big brown package
from afghanistan.
93
00:04:42,750 --> 00:04:43,582
That's nice.
94
00:04:44,016 --> 00:04:44,849
We sent the afghani
kids some dollars,
95
00:04:44,884 --> 00:04:46,185
They must've sent us
something cool in return.
96
00:04:46,220 --> 00:04:47,486
Do we have some scissors
to cut this open?
97
00:04:47,920 --> 00:04:49,221
Stanley, your mother's a little
freaked out right now.
98
00:04:49,655 --> 00:04:50,488
Why don't you
go play with
99
00:04:50,523 --> 00:04:52,691
Your big brown package
from afghanistan outside.
100
00:04:52,726 --> 00:04:54,860
All right.
101
00:04:56,595 --> 00:04:59,632
Big brown package from
afghanistan!
102
00:05:03,102 --> 00:05:04,368
Dude, what's going on?
103
00:05:04,403 --> 00:05:05,704
We got a package from the
kids we sent dollars to.
104
00:05:06,138 --> 00:05:07,873
They sent us
something back.
105
00:05:09,175 --> 00:05:10,441
Prelim shows
negative, sir.
106
00:05:10,476 --> 00:05:12,211
Then we're gonna
have to blow it.
107
00:05:12,246 --> 00:05:13,512
Yes, sir!
108
00:05:16,115 --> 00:05:18,717
Ah, this is it, man,
it's over!
109
00:05:18,752 --> 00:05:21,320
Tweak, calm down,
have some coffee.
110
00:05:26,525 --> 00:05:28,260
Open!
111
00:05:33,032 --> 00:05:34,333
Ah, it's just a goat.
112
00:05:36,068 --> 00:05:37,369
Precious goat.
113
00:05:39,104 --> 00:05:40,406
Hey there,
little guy.
114
00:05:40,840 --> 00:05:41,707
Stay away from it!
115
00:05:42,141 --> 00:05:43,876
Terrorists could've given that
goat anthrax or smallpox
116
00:05:43,911 --> 00:05:45,177
Before sending it over.
117
00:05:45,212 --> 00:05:46,443
Johnson!
118
00:05:46,478 --> 00:05:47,780
Check the goat
for diseases.
119
00:05:47,815 --> 00:05:49,081
Yes, sir!
120
00:05:55,154 --> 00:05:56,455
The goat seems
to be clean, sir.
121
00:05:56,490 --> 00:05:57,721
I told you.
122
00:05:57,756 --> 00:05:58,624
Those afghan kids just wanted
to give us something back
123
00:05:59,058 --> 00:05:59,925
For giving them $4.
124
00:06:00,359 --> 00:06:01,660
Four dollars for a goat,
we got ripped off.
125
00:06:01,695 --> 00:06:03,395
All right, men,
this area is secure.
126
00:06:03,430 --> 00:06:05,130
Let's head out.
127
00:06:08,167 --> 00:06:09,433
What are we supposed
to do with it?
128
00:06:09,468 --> 00:06:11,203
You're gonna have to take it
home with you, kyle.
129
00:06:11,637 --> 00:06:12,938
Dude, my mom won't even
let me have a hamster.
130
00:06:13,372 --> 00:06:14,205
Kenny?
131
00:06:14,240 --> 00:06:15,072
No freakin' way,
dude.
132
00:06:15,107 --> 00:06:16,625
My parents will never
let me keep a goat.
133
00:06:16,660 --> 00:06:18,052
Well, i guess we're gonna
have to kill it.
134
00:06:18,087 --> 00:06:19,416
No, we're not going to
kill it, cartman.
135
00:06:19,451 --> 00:06:20,966
We'll just have to take
the return address
136
00:06:21,001 --> 00:06:22,481
And mail it back to the
kids in afghanistan.
137
00:06:22,516 --> 00:06:23,349
Come on, goat.
138
00:06:25,084 --> 00:06:26,819
Uh-Oh,
they're closing.
139
00:06:26,854 --> 00:06:28,085
Excuse me,
140
00:06:28,120 --> 00:06:29,421
We wanna overnight this goat
to afghanistan, please.
141
00:06:29,855 --> 00:06:30,688
Excuse me?
142
00:06:30,723 --> 00:06:32,423
It's an afghanistan goat,
it can't stay here
143
00:06:32,458 --> 00:06:34,193
Or else it will choke on
the sweet air of freedom.
144
00:06:34,627 --> 00:06:35,060
Yeah.
145
00:06:35,494 --> 00:06:36,327
Afghanistan?
146
00:06:36,362 --> 00:06:38,530
I'm sorry, boys, but our
planes aren't flying there.
147
00:06:38,565 --> 00:06:39,363
They're not?
148
00:06:39,398 --> 00:06:41,098
The only planes going
to afghanistan
149
00:06:41,133 --> 00:06:43,302
Are the military planes
over at the base.
150
00:06:43,337 --> 00:06:44,169
I'm sorry.
151
00:06:44,603 --> 00:06:45,436
Oh yeah,
the military planes.
152
00:06:45,471 --> 00:06:47,640
Come on, goat, we'll
put you on one of them.
153
00:06:50,242 --> 00:06:51,543
Stan, i don't think
we're supposed to be
154
00:06:51,578 --> 00:06:52,645
In the military base.
155
00:06:52,680 --> 00:06:53,677
They might
shoot us.
156
00:06:53,712 --> 00:06:55,013
I don't care,
we're going.
157
00:06:55,048 --> 00:06:56,315
Don't forget to
bring a towel.
158
00:06:56,350 --> 00:06:57,147
Ahh!
159
00:06:57,182 --> 00:06:58,449
Oh, no,
not towelie.
160
00:06:58,484 --> 00:07:01,086
When going someplace new,
you should always bring a towel.
161
00:07:01,520 --> 00:07:02,604
Okay, thanks,
towelie.
162
00:07:02,639 --> 00:07:03,654
You wanna get high?
163
00:07:03,689 --> 00:07:04,955
No, we don't
wanna get high!
164
00:07:04,990 --> 00:07:07,159
You mean, you don't
want towelie around?
165
00:07:07,194 --> 00:07:08,425
That's right!
166
00:07:08,460 --> 00:07:12,364
So am i to understand that
there's been a "towelie ban"?
167
00:07:14,533 --> 00:07:15,401
Ohh!
168
00:07:15,834 --> 00:07:16,702
God damn it, get the hell
out of here, towelie!
169
00:07:17,136 --> 00:07:19,738
All right,
see ya.
170
00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:21,907
All right, group,
171
00:07:22,341 --> 00:07:24,076
We'll depart for afghanistan
in five minutes.
172
00:07:24,111 --> 00:07:25,776
Let's move out!
173
00:07:25,811 --> 00:07:27,077
All right,
come on.
174
00:07:27,112 --> 00:07:28,847
We just gotta get the goat
on one of these planes.
175
00:07:28,882 --> 00:07:29,680
Isn't this exciting, tony?
176
00:07:29,715 --> 00:07:31,450
We're finally gonna
see some action.
177
00:07:31,485 --> 00:07:33,185
Yeah, and i hear that
as soon as we land
178
00:07:33,220 --> 00:07:34,486
We get a u.S.O. Show.
179
00:07:34,521 --> 00:07:35,319
We do!
180
00:07:35,354 --> 00:07:37,523
Stevie nicks is
going to perform.
181
00:07:37,558 --> 00:07:39,926
Oh, stevie nicks,
i love her!
182
00:07:39,961 --> 00:07:42,294
Okay, it's clear,
come on.
183
00:07:43,595 --> 00:07:44,428
Hey you!
184
00:07:44,463 --> 00:07:47,066
What the hell do you
think you're doing here?
185
00:07:50,536 --> 00:07:51,802
I'm sorry,
miss nicks.
186
00:07:51,837 --> 00:07:53,138
Hey, guys,
it's stevie nicks.
187
00:07:53,173 --> 00:07:54,405
Oh, wow!
188
00:07:54,440 --> 00:07:56,140
Can i get a picture?
189
00:07:56,175 --> 00:07:57,910
Miss nicks, over here,
miss nicks.
190
00:07:59,211 --> 00:08:01,380
Miss nicks, i don't
wanna bother you,
191
00:08:01,814 --> 00:08:03,983
But could you sing a quick
fleetwood macfor us?
192
00:08:04,018 --> 00:08:05,084
Could you?
193
00:08:05,119 --> 00:08:06,151
Come on!
194
00:08:10,055 --> 00:08:11,357
Yeah, yeah.
No way!
195
00:08:11,790 --> 00:08:13,092
Wait 'til i tell
my sister about this.
196
00:08:13,127 --> 00:08:13,959
She is gonna flip!
197
00:08:14,393 --> 00:08:15,477
Well, we've gotta
get miss nicks
198
00:08:15,512 --> 00:08:16,562
On the plane to
afghanistan, guys.
199
00:08:16,597 --> 00:08:17,828
Oh, can we just get a-
200
00:08:17,863 --> 00:08:19,598
I'm sorry, miss nicks isn't
answering any more questions.
201
00:08:19,633 --> 00:08:22,634
Oh sure, we understand.
Move along.
202
00:08:23,502 --> 00:08:25,237
She looks great.
She looks great.
203
00:08:26,972 --> 00:08:28,707
Hey, let's put him
on here.
204
00:08:30,442 --> 00:08:32,142
Shh... there we go.
205
00:08:32,177 --> 00:08:33,444
You're gonna
be okay, goat.
206
00:08:33,479 --> 00:08:35,612
You'll be back in afghanistan
in about 20 hours.
207
00:08:35,647 --> 00:08:37,383
Stan, if you're finished having
your tearful good-Bye with the goat
208
00:08:37,418 --> 00:08:38,250
We'll like to
go now, please.
209
00:08:38,684 --> 00:08:39,516
All right.
210
00:08:39,551 --> 00:08:41,286
All right, tango clear,
let's head out.
211
00:08:41,321 --> 00:08:42,588
Oh, son of
a bitch!
212
00:08:43,022 --> 00:08:43,854
Hey, wait!
213
00:08:43,889 --> 00:08:45,190
There's children
in here!
214
00:08:48,660 --> 00:08:52,131
Dude, it looks like we're
going to... afghanistan.
215
00:08:52,564 --> 00:08:53,397
Going to afghanistan?
216
00:08:53,432 --> 00:08:55,167
Trapped in a small space
for 20 hours-
217
00:08:55,202 --> 00:08:56,468
How could things
get any worse?
218
00:08:57,336 --> 00:08:58,203
Ohh!
Ohh! Ohh!
219
00:08:58,238 --> 00:08:59,071
Oh, you guys.
220
00:09:14,820 --> 00:09:16,772
Hut hut hut
hut hut hut hut.
221
00:09:16,807 --> 00:09:18,689
Welcome to
afghanistan, troops.
222
00:09:18,724 --> 00:09:21,326
Get your gear ready and report
to the barracks in 0900.
223
00:09:21,361 --> 00:09:22,159
Sir, yes, sir!
224
00:09:22,194 --> 00:09:24,363
Hut hut hut hut
hut hut hut hut...
225
00:09:25,664 --> 00:09:26,965
Oh god,
it was horrible!
226
00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:27,833
20 hours!
227
00:09:28,267 --> 00:09:30,002
Oh god, it stinks
like shmmt!
228
00:09:30,037 --> 00:09:31,268
What the hell?
229
00:09:31,303 --> 00:09:32,569
Cartman farted
in there.
230
00:09:32,604 --> 00:09:33,871
We had to breathe
it in for 20 hours.
231
00:09:33,906 --> 00:09:36,508
It didn't smell that bad,
you guys are overreacting.
232
00:09:36,543 --> 00:09:39,111
I don't smell any-
Oh, oh god!
233
00:09:43,015 --> 00:09:43,847
Oh, whatever.
234
00:09:43,882 --> 00:09:45,149
You son of a bitch,
cartman.
235
00:09:45,184 --> 00:09:46,919
You don't fart when you're
locked in a small space
236
00:09:46,954 --> 00:09:47,804
With other people!
237
00:09:47,839 --> 00:09:48,619
Oh, i'm sorry!
238
00:09:48,654 --> 00:09:49,955
Next time i'll just
ask my fart nicely
239
00:09:50,389 --> 00:09:51,907
If it wouldn't mind staying
tucked away for a while!
240
00:09:51,942 --> 00:09:53,425
All right, let's just get
the goat back to his home.
241
00:09:53,460 --> 00:09:54,726
We have to find
this address.
242
00:10:01,233 --> 00:10:02,534
God, what a craphole,
dude!
243
00:10:02,968 --> 00:10:05,969
This is like east denver,
jesus christ!
244
00:10:06,004 --> 00:10:07,739
Dude, no wonder terrorists
come from places like this.
245
00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:09,475
If i grew up here
i'd be pissed off too.
246
00:10:09,510 --> 00:10:12,077
Hey, look,
there's a taxi.
247
00:10:14,680 --> 00:10:15,512
Hello.
248
00:10:15,547 --> 00:10:16,415
We need to go here.
249
00:10:19,451 --> 00:10:21,620
God, what is this,
the friggin' "flintsones"?
250
00:10:25,524 --> 00:10:26,391
Is this the
right house?
251
00:10:26,426 --> 00:10:28,127
I think so.
252
00:10:33,765 --> 00:10:35,032
Uh, hi,
we're from america.
253
00:10:35,067 --> 00:10:38,971
Ah, we sent you
the dollar, the $4.
254
00:10:39,006 --> 00:10:40,272
You sent us
this goat.
255
00:10:40,307 --> 00:10:41,538
Goat?
256
00:10:41,573 --> 00:10:43,273
Here, we don't
want it.
257
00:10:43,308 --> 00:10:44,392
Oh, you want
something else?
258
00:10:44,427 --> 00:10:45,477
All we had
was the goat.
259
00:10:45,911 --> 00:10:47,212
Your country bombed
everything else.
260
00:10:47,247 --> 00:10:48,514
No, dude, we're
not ungrateful.
261
00:10:48,947 --> 00:10:50,214
It's just none of us
can keep the goat.
262
00:10:50,249 --> 00:10:51,984
It was choking on the sweet
air of freedom in america,
263
00:10:52,019 --> 00:10:54,153
So we brought it back
to your crappy country.
264
00:10:54,188 --> 00:10:55,853
Oh, and here.
265
00:10:55,888 --> 00:10:59,358
Take this american flag
as a gift.
266
00:11:05,430 --> 00:11:06,697
Yay! Yay! Yay!
267
00:11:06,732 --> 00:11:08,901
Hey, what the hell
are you doing?
268
00:11:09,334 --> 00:11:11,069
They told us in school everyone
but terrorists love america.
269
00:11:11,104 --> 00:11:11,937
Ha!
270
00:11:13,672 --> 00:11:14,938
What did you call us?
271
00:11:14,973 --> 00:11:16,240
Your country
is the evil empire.
272
00:11:16,275 --> 00:11:18,408
Your government wants
to rule the world!
273
00:11:18,443 --> 00:11:21,914
But your values and spiritualism
are in the gutter.
274
00:11:21,949 --> 00:11:23,180
Then why did you
send us a goat?
275
00:11:23,215 --> 00:11:24,950
Because in afghanistan
we have pride.
276
00:11:24,985 --> 00:11:25,817
If you send us something
277
00:11:26,251 --> 00:11:27,119
We must send something
in return.
278
00:11:27,553 --> 00:11:29,721
It doesn't mean we don't
still hate you.
279
00:11:29,756 --> 00:11:31,456
Now, get out of here!
280
00:11:31,890 --> 00:11:34,024
Hey, hey,
open the door.
281
00:11:34,059 --> 00:11:36,228
I told you, "jawas"
have no hearts.
282
00:11:36,263 --> 00:11:37,060
Jawas?
283
00:11:37,095 --> 00:11:38,362
You know, sand people.
284
00:11:38,397 --> 00:11:39,698
How come they hate
america so much?
285
00:11:39,733 --> 00:11:41,017
What the hell
did we do?
286
00:11:41,052 --> 00:11:42,266
Well, we tried, dude.
287
00:11:42,301 --> 00:11:44,001
If anyone else in this
craphole hates americans
288
00:11:44,036 --> 00:11:45,771
We better just leave the goat
and get back to the plane.
289
00:11:45,806 --> 00:11:47,506
All right.
290
00:11:50,542 --> 00:11:51,410
Oh look,
he's following us.
291
00:11:51,445 --> 00:11:52,242
It's so sad.
292
00:11:52,277 --> 00:11:53,579
God, i hate you
so much, stan.
293
00:11:53,614 --> 00:11:54,446
What?
294
00:12:02,688 --> 00:12:03,989
Howdy.
295
00:12:04,423 --> 00:12:07,242
Ah... greetings
from canada.
296
00:12:07,277 --> 00:12:10,027
Well, boys,
it's "aboot" time
297
00:12:10,062 --> 00:12:11,363
We get to our "hoose"
in canada, isn't it?
298
00:12:11,398 --> 00:12:12,629
Hey, what the hell are
you talking about?!
299
00:12:12,664 --> 00:12:14,399
I'm not a god damn canadian
and neither are you!
300
00:12:14,434 --> 00:12:15,701
Oh, cartman,
you stupid asshole.
301
00:12:23,508 --> 00:12:25,244
...osama bin laden!
302
00:12:28,714 --> 00:12:29,546
Good job, fat-Ass.
303
00:12:29,581 --> 00:12:30,882
Dude, don't call me
a canadian.
304
00:12:46,932 --> 00:12:48,667
You gotta listen to me,
we're not spies!
305
00:12:50,402 --> 00:12:51,703
Look, i think i can
explain everything.
306
00:12:52,137 --> 00:12:54,306
See, my friend stan here is
an oversensitive animal lover.
307
00:12:54,740 --> 00:12:56,041
He got a boner
for this goat.
308
00:13:00,812 --> 00:13:02,981
Ooh, a la
bulla bulla bulla.
309
00:13:03,415 --> 00:13:04,283
Oh crap,
it's him!
310
00:13:05,584 --> 00:13:07,969
A mulla mulla
mulla?
311
00:13:08,004 --> 00:13:10,320
Mulla hak a mulla.
312
00:13:10,355 --> 00:13:12,090
Oh, dude, it's called
deodorant, okay,
313
00:13:12,125 --> 00:13:13,626
It's not expensive.
314
00:13:13,661 --> 00:13:15,127
Hakka maha mallah!
315
00:13:27,706 --> 00:13:30,308
Ooh, a tukka tukka
mulla mulla.
316
00:13:30,343 --> 00:13:32,711
America a booga
booga booga.
317
00:13:32,746 --> 00:13:35,080
Hakka hakka
durka durka.
318
00:13:36,381 --> 00:13:39,418
Hakka hakka
durka durka!
319
00:13:39,453 --> 00:13:41,586
And... cut!
320
00:13:45,924 --> 00:13:48,960
Dude, these people
are insane.
321
00:13:50,262 --> 00:13:51,094
...as more and more cases
322
00:13:51,129 --> 00:13:52,864
Of terrorist-Related aids
continues to grow.
323
00:13:53,298 --> 00:13:54,131
And this just in:
324
00:13:54,166 --> 00:13:56,118
The taliban has
apparently taken
325
00:13:56,153 --> 00:13:58,035
American civilians
as hostages.
326
00:13:58,070 --> 00:14:00,238
The taliban has just released
this videotape
327
00:14:00,273 --> 00:14:01,938
In which it is
clearly visible
328
00:14:01,973 --> 00:14:04,359
That they have indeed
captured stevie nicks.
329
00:14:04,394 --> 00:14:06,745
Miss nicks appears to be
in good spirits,
330
00:14:06,780 --> 00:14:08,480
Though her whereabouts
are unknown.
331
00:14:08,515 --> 00:14:09,781
Hey, sh-Sharon,
332
00:14:10,215 --> 00:14:12,818
Have you seen stan in
the last couple days?
333
00:14:12,853 --> 00:14:14,553
Yes, i just saw him.
334
00:14:14,588 --> 00:14:16,253
Oh, okay.
335
00:14:16,288 --> 00:14:17,554
With stevie nicks
in captivity
336
00:14:17,589 --> 00:14:19,324
The other members of
fleetwood mac have been hidden
337
00:14:19,758 --> 00:14:21,927
So the taliban can't
get to them as well.
338
00:14:21,962 --> 00:14:24,096
They... took
stevie nicks?
339
00:14:24,131 --> 00:14:24,928
Bastards.
340
00:14:24,963 --> 00:14:27,132
Heartless,
gutless bastards!
341
00:14:27,167 --> 00:14:27,999
All right, men.
342
00:14:28,433 --> 00:14:30,168
Grab your guns
and your bibles.
343
00:14:30,203 --> 00:14:31,903
We're going to
get miss nicks back.
344
00:14:32,337 --> 00:14:33,603
Hooray!
Hooray! Hooray!
345
00:14:33,638 --> 00:14:34,905
The taliban's video
also shows
346
00:14:34,940 --> 00:14:38,410
What appears to be four
american children in captivity,
347
00:14:38,445 --> 00:14:39,711
Though they could
just be french.
348
00:14:40,145 --> 00:14:41,229
We have to help them.
349
00:14:41,264 --> 00:14:42,279
They are not
the spies.
350
00:14:42,314 --> 00:14:44,483
They came to give us
our goat back.
351
00:14:44,916 --> 00:14:46,183
Screw them!
They're evil americans.
352
00:14:46,218 --> 00:14:49,254
I know, but you if we don't
help the innocent ones
353
00:14:49,289 --> 00:14:51,423
Then we are no better
than the americans are.
354
00:14:51,857 --> 00:14:53,123
Help americans?
355
00:14:53,158 --> 00:14:54,424
That doesn't
make sense.
356
00:14:54,459 --> 00:14:56,628
Dude, we are speaking
english right now.
357
00:14:56,663 --> 00:14:58,363
Does that make sense?!
358
00:14:59,231 --> 00:15:00,532
All right, let's go.
359
00:15:10,575 --> 00:15:12,310
Oh, jihad jihad.
360
00:15:19,251 --> 00:15:20,118
Ooh, ooh!
361
00:15:20,552 --> 00:15:21,818
America,
hakka hakka!
362
00:15:21,853 --> 00:15:24,890
Dursha, durpa
durpa durpa!
363
00:15:26,191 --> 00:15:29,227
Boola boola
booga wooga hagga.
364
00:15:32,264 --> 00:15:33,964
Gurba de durka
and america!
365
00:15:33,999 --> 00:15:36,168
Hey, what are you
guys doing here?
366
00:15:36,601 --> 00:15:37,902
Shh, we've come
to save you.
367
00:15:37,937 --> 00:15:39,204
You but i thought
you hate us.
368
00:15:39,239 --> 00:15:40,505
We do.
369
00:15:40,939 --> 00:15:42,240
Durkka durkka...
370
00:15:44,409 --> 00:15:45,242
Cartman, where are
you going?
371
00:15:45,277 --> 00:15:47,012
I'm gonna go take care
of this prick.
372
00:15:47,047 --> 00:15:47,844
Cartman, he's crazy.
373
00:15:47,879 --> 00:15:49,579
He's not crazy,
he's an idiot.
374
00:15:49,614 --> 00:15:51,349
I know how to deal
with these people.
375
00:15:51,384 --> 00:15:52,217
A flibbidy
flabbidy floo!
376
00:15:52,651 --> 00:15:53,483
Jihad, jihad!
377
00:15:53,518 --> 00:15:54,785
Hey...
378
00:15:54,820 --> 00:15:56,338
What's up,
bin laden?
379
00:15:56,373 --> 00:15:57,548
Aruba
duba duba!
380
00:15:57,583 --> 00:15:58,723
Durba durba hak!
381
00:15:59,157 --> 00:16:00,459
Uh-Oh, 5:30,
time to pray!
382
00:16:00,494 --> 00:16:02,211
Ah la la...
383
00:16:02,246 --> 00:16:03,894
Tabba hagga?
384
00:16:03,929 --> 00:16:06,496
Allah allah allah.
385
00:16:06,531 --> 00:16:07,833
Ala hagga durpa,
durpa durpa haggalah.
386
00:16:12,170 --> 00:16:13,472
Uh-Oh!
387
00:16:18,677 --> 00:16:19,544
We will have to
be quick.
388
00:16:19,978 --> 00:16:21,279
The americans
are attacking!
389
00:16:21,314 --> 00:16:22,581
Where do we go?
390
00:16:22,616 --> 00:16:24,316
Get down!
391
00:16:32,557 --> 00:16:36,461
You, murdering
american!
392
00:16:36,895 --> 00:16:38,630
Hey, shut up, kid, america
didn't start this war.
393
00:16:39,064 --> 00:16:40,799
America did
start this war.
394
00:16:41,233 --> 00:16:42,933
They started it
years ago
395
00:16:42,968 --> 00:16:46,438
When they put military bases
on muslim holy lands.
396
00:17:01,186 --> 00:17:02,053
Ramadan!
397
00:17:02,487 --> 00:17:03,355
Hey, look,
an infidel!
398
00:17:03,390 --> 00:17:05,090
Ooh, pedro kabob!
399
00:17:17,235 --> 00:17:18,537
So that's what
this is all about.
400
00:17:18,572 --> 00:17:21,573
Ishtar fatwah
open sesame!
401
00:17:22,874 --> 00:17:24,175
Ooh, tastes
like chicken.
402
00:17:24,210 --> 00:17:25,494
The ass of
a chicken!
403
00:17:25,529 --> 00:17:26,778
Toolah foo kabob!
404
00:17:26,813 --> 00:17:28,478
Woo hoo!
405
00:17:28,513 --> 00:17:29,814
We're coming, miss nicks,
406
00:17:29,849 --> 00:17:30,682
Hang on!
407
00:17:33,285 --> 00:17:35,020
All right, i've had
just about enough of this.
408
00:17:35,055 --> 00:17:36,720
They told us in school,
and on tv,
409
00:17:36,755 --> 00:17:39,357
That most people in afghanistan
and pakistan like america.
410
00:17:39,392 --> 00:17:40,624
And you believe it?
411
00:17:40,659 --> 00:17:41,960
It is not just the taliban
that hates america.
412
00:17:42,394 --> 00:17:44,528
Over a third of the
world hates america.
413
00:17:44,563 --> 00:17:46,731
But why, why does a third
of the world hate us?
414
00:17:46,766 --> 00:17:48,033
Because you don't
realize
415
00:17:48,466 --> 00:17:49,768
That a third of
the world hates you.
416
00:17:49,803 --> 00:17:51,086
That doesn't
make sense.
417
00:17:51,121 --> 00:17:52,370
You guys are just
buttholes.
418
00:17:52,804 --> 00:17:54,105
You're buttholes!
419
00:17:54,140 --> 00:17:55,407
You're buttholes!
420
00:17:57,142 --> 00:17:58,443
Yoo hoo.
421
00:18:01,913 --> 00:18:03,214
A dukka
dukka dukka.
422
00:18:06,251 --> 00:18:07,552
Dukka dukka
dukka doo!
423
00:18:24,035 --> 00:18:26,854
Ooh, bella, bella,
falafel.
424
00:18:26,889 --> 00:18:29,674
Mi amore,
fatwah, fatwah.
425
00:18:36,615 --> 00:18:38,783
Ah, vino,
mi fatwah.
426
00:18:38,818 --> 00:18:40,518
J'al une fatwah.
427
00:18:47,892 --> 00:18:49,628
You really think that your
civilization is better than ours?
428
00:18:49,663 --> 00:18:51,363
You people play games
by killing animals
429
00:18:51,398 --> 00:18:52,195
And oppress women.
430
00:18:52,230 --> 00:18:53,496
It's better than
a civilization
431
00:18:53,531 --> 00:18:54,833
That's spends its time
watching millionaires
432
00:18:55,266 --> 00:18:57,002
Walk down the red
carpet at theemmys.
433
00:18:57,037 --> 00:18:59,604
He's got us there,
dude.
434
00:19:01,773 --> 00:19:03,508
I got her,
i got stevie nicks.
435
00:19:06,544 --> 00:19:07,811
There you are!
Where have you been?
436
00:19:07,846 --> 00:19:09,581
We have another anti-
American video to make.
437
00:19:10,015 --> 00:19:12,183
Oh, video durka?
438
00:19:13,051 --> 00:19:14,786
Hurry, get into
wardrobe!
439
00:19:16,087 --> 00:19:18,690
Oh, hurry up,
will you, hurry!
440
00:19:19,991 --> 00:19:21,292
Oh, you look
marvelous, darling.
441
00:19:21,726 --> 00:19:22,559
Hakka hamma hamma.
442
00:19:22,594 --> 00:19:24,763
Come on, the cameras
are ready.
443
00:19:24,798 --> 00:19:25,630
All right,
there we go.
444
00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:26,896
Let's roll cameras.
445
00:19:26,931 --> 00:19:28,233
Oh, and here's
your microphone.
446
00:19:28,268 --> 00:19:33,004
Oh, america
a durka durka.
447
00:19:35,607 --> 00:19:37,125
Uh-Oh.
448
00:19:37,160 --> 00:19:38,643
Waa!
449
00:19:43,415 --> 00:19:45,583
We've done it,
the taliban is destroyed!
450
00:19:45,618 --> 00:19:47,283
Hooray!
Hooray! Hooray!
451
00:19:47,318 --> 00:19:49,054
Wow, i guess cartman really
did take care of him.
452
00:19:49,089 --> 00:19:49,921
Blh-Blh-Blh-Blh!
453
00:19:50,355 --> 00:19:52,524
Terrorists is the
craziest peoples!
454
00:19:55,560 --> 00:19:56,826
Oh!
455
00:19:56,861 --> 00:19:58,128
I got him,
i got him!
456
00:19:58,163 --> 00:19:59,898
Well, looks like the
taliban and bin laden
457
00:19:59,933 --> 00:20:01,164
Are finally out of power.
458
00:20:01,199 --> 00:20:02,934
Yeah, you don't
need us anymore.
459
00:20:02,969 --> 00:20:04,200
Hey, wait a minute.
460
00:20:04,235 --> 00:20:05,753
Y'know, you guys
should know one thing.
461
00:20:05,788 --> 00:20:07,237
Most people in america
are good people
462
00:20:07,272 --> 00:20:09,007
Who just try to live day
by day like you guys do.
463
00:20:09,441 --> 00:20:10,308
Maybe if you
took some time
464
00:20:10,742 --> 00:20:12,477
To see all the great
things about our country
465
00:20:12,512 --> 00:20:14,212
You'd see we're not
so different after all.
466
00:20:14,247 --> 00:20:15,080
Yeah.
467
00:20:15,513 --> 00:20:18,116
That's fine,
but we still hate you.
468
00:20:19,417 --> 00:20:20,285
Oh...
469
00:20:20,719 --> 00:20:22,887
Well, i guess
maybe some day
470
00:20:22,922 --> 00:20:25,056
We can learn
to hate you, too.
471
00:20:25,091 --> 00:20:28,526
Maybe, in time.
472
00:20:28,960 --> 00:20:30,261
I'm confused.
473
00:20:34,399 --> 00:20:35,665
Great job, troops.
474
00:20:35,700 --> 00:20:38,303
Once again we have
killed our enemies!
475
00:20:38,338 --> 00:20:40,003
Hooray!
We sure did!
476
00:20:40,038 --> 00:20:41,773
The world is now safe
thanks to you.
477
00:20:42,207 --> 00:20:43,074
And so now,
as promised,
478
00:20:43,508 --> 00:20:47,412
Here is fleetwood mac
with stevie nicks!
479
00:20:53,918 --> 00:20:56,052
? Just like the
one-Winged bird?
480
00:20:56,087 --> 00:20:57,822
? Sings the song
sounds like she's singing?
481
00:20:59,124 --> 00:21:00,425
? Baby, said?
482
00:21:02,594 --> 00:21:06,498
Come on, let's go
get to the plane.
483
00:21:13,872 --> 00:21:15,173
Dude, i almost thought
those afghani kids
484
00:21:15,208 --> 00:21:17,342
Talked you into not
liking america.
485
00:21:17,377 --> 00:21:18,174
No, dude.
486
00:21:18,209 --> 00:21:19,511
America may have
some problems,
487
00:21:19,944 --> 00:21:21,644
But it's our home,
our team.
488
00:21:21,679 --> 00:21:22,946
And if you don't wanna
root for your team
489
00:21:22,981 --> 00:21:25,150
Then you should get the hell
out of the stadium.
490
00:21:25,185 --> 00:21:27,283
Yeah.
491
00:21:27,318 --> 00:21:29,487
Go america.
492
00:21:29,522 --> 00:21:31,621
Go broncos.
493
00:21:31,656 --> 00:21:32,524
Yeah, go broncos.
494
00:21:32,559 --> 00:21:33,825
Yeah.
495
00:21:35,560 --> 00:21:37,729
Captioning made possible by
comedy central
496
00:21:40,331 --> 00:21:42,934
Captioned by
soundwriters
31960
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