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1
00:00:06,138 --> 00:00:08,741
Captioning made possible by
comedy central
2
00:00:08,776 --> 00:00:10,276
? I'm going down
to south park?
3
00:00:10,311 --> 00:00:11,912
? Gonna have
myself a time?
4
00:00:11,947 --> 00:00:13,478
? Friendly faces
everywhere?
5
00:00:13,513 --> 00:00:15,248
? Humble folks
without temptation?
6
00:00:15,283 --> 00:00:16,783
? Going down
to south park?
7
00:00:16,818 --> 00:00:18,418
? Gonna leave my
woes behind?
8
00:00:18,453 --> 00:00:20,019
? Ample parking
day or night?
9
00:00:20,453 --> 00:00:21,754
? People spouting
"howdy neighbor"?
10
00:00:21,789 --> 00:00:23,506
? Headin' on up
to south park?
11
00:00:23,541 --> 00:00:25,224
? Gonna see
if i can't unwind?
12
00:00:28,694 --> 00:00:29,562
? So come on down
to south park?
13
00:00:29,996 --> 00:00:32,164
? And meet some
friends of mine?
14
00:00:35,401 --> 00:00:37,570
Okay now, lift your
chin a little.
15
00:00:38,004 --> 00:00:39,305
Look right here,
right here.
16
00:00:39,340 --> 00:00:40,606
Hey, where's my smile?
17
00:00:41,040 --> 00:00:42,775
Come on, i bet you got
a smile for me.
18
00:00:42,810 --> 00:00:44,510
I'm starting to
see a smile.
19
00:00:44,545 --> 00:00:45,776
There it is.
20
00:00:45,811 --> 00:00:47,763
Okay, great, next!
21
00:00:47,798 --> 00:00:49,715
I didn't smile.
22
00:00:51,450 --> 00:00:52,717
I hate picture day
at school!
23
00:00:52,752 --> 00:00:54,018
It's always some gay-Ass
photographer
24
00:00:54,053 --> 00:00:56,656
With some gay-Ass
backdrop of new england.
25
00:00:57,523 --> 00:00:58,356
Hang on a second.
26
00:00:58,391 --> 00:00:59,692
My mom said to make sure
i look good this time
27
00:01:00,126 --> 00:01:02,728
In the school pictures.
28
00:01:04,030 --> 00:01:06,198
Okay, smile.
29
00:01:07,066 --> 00:01:08,801
Okay, next.
30
00:01:09,669 --> 00:01:10,536
Did you go yet?
No.
31
00:01:10,970 --> 00:01:11,802
This is taking forever.
32
00:01:11,837 --> 00:01:14,440
You guys, you guys,
this is so funny!
33
00:01:14,475 --> 00:01:15,273
What, cartman?
34
00:01:15,308 --> 00:01:16,175
Dude, check it out.
35
00:01:16,609 --> 00:01:18,344
For picture day, kenny got
into his parka backwards
36
00:01:18,379 --> 00:01:20,079
So that his ass shows
through his hood, look!
37
00:01:20,114 --> 00:01:21,814
Kenny, come over here.
38
00:01:26,586 --> 00:01:27,887
It isn't that
funny, cartman.
39
00:01:27,922 --> 00:01:28,772
Yes, it is.
40
00:01:28,807 --> 00:01:29,622
Next in line.
41
00:01:30,056 --> 00:01:31,791
Come on, let's keep it
moving, kids.
42
00:01:31,826 --> 00:01:33,526
Don't listen to
that jew, kenny,
43
00:01:33,561 --> 00:01:35,226
It's totally funny.
44
00:01:35,261 --> 00:01:36,562
Take off your
hat, please.
45
00:01:36,597 --> 00:01:37,881
But i never
take off my hat.
46
00:01:37,916 --> 00:01:39,130
Come on now,
i bet your parents
47
00:01:39,165 --> 00:01:40,466
Want a picture of you
looking natural.
48
00:01:40,900 --> 00:01:41,767
Thisishow i
look natural.
49
00:01:42,201 --> 00:01:43,936
Kyle, we're taking pictures
without hats today!
50
00:01:44,370 --> 00:01:45,671
Crap.
51
00:01:46,973 --> 00:01:47,840
Smile!
52
00:01:48,274 --> 00:01:49,792
Come on,
where's that smile?
53
00:01:49,827 --> 00:01:51,310
Is it gonna kill ya
to smile?
54
00:01:51,345 --> 00:01:52,178
I see a smile.
55
00:01:53,479 --> 00:01:54,347
Next!
56
00:01:54,780 --> 00:01:56,082
Gay-Ass.
57
00:01:56,949 --> 00:02:00,419
Very nice.
Okay, last one.
58
00:02:02,154 --> 00:02:03,456
Uh-Oh.
59
00:02:03,889 --> 00:02:06,058
Okay, have a seat,
young man.
60
00:02:10,396 --> 00:02:11,662
Okay, looking great.
61
00:02:11,697 --> 00:02:13,397
Now, where's that smile?
62
00:02:13,432 --> 00:02:16,035
Come on, give me
a nice wide smile.
63
00:02:16,070 --> 00:02:17,570
Wider.
64
00:02:17,605 --> 00:02:19,036
Perfect.
65
00:02:19,071 --> 00:02:20,373
How long 'til we get
the pictures back?
66
00:02:20,408 --> 00:02:21,639
Should be about four days.
67
00:02:21,674 --> 00:02:24,276
Four days, oh man,
i can't wait that long!
68
00:02:28,180 --> 00:02:30,748
Come on, come on,
come on, come on...
69
00:02:30,783 --> 00:02:33,386
All right, class, i have your
school photos to hand out.
70
00:02:33,421 --> 00:02:34,652
Yes, yes!
71
00:02:34,687 --> 00:02:36,205
Most of them
are very nice.
72
00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:37,688
But, apparently
one of you
73
00:02:37,723 --> 00:02:39,892
Thinks it's fun to spoil
their school pictures
74
00:02:40,326 --> 00:02:41,592
And thinks he's a comedian.
75
00:02:41,627 --> 00:02:43,362
That person will be
spending the afternoon
76
00:02:43,397 --> 00:02:45,062
In the principal's
office.
77
00:02:45,097 --> 00:02:45,930
Hey, that's
b- Llshit!
78
00:02:45,965 --> 00:02:47,266
School photos aren't
for joking around,
79
00:02:47,700 --> 00:02:49,435
So you aren't getting
your photos back,
80
00:02:49,470 --> 00:02:51,135
Butters!
81
00:02:51,170 --> 00:02:53,339
Me? But i didn't
do nothin'.
82
00:02:53,374 --> 00:02:54,206
For the rest of you
83
00:02:54,640 --> 00:02:55,941
I think your pictures
turned out very nicely.
84
00:02:55,976 --> 00:02:56,809
But-
85
00:02:57,243 --> 00:02:58,544
But hey,
wait a minute.
86
00:02:58,579 --> 00:03:00,279
Let me see!
87
00:03:00,713 --> 00:03:02,882
But teacher, i didn't mean
to look stupid in my picture,
88
00:03:02,917 --> 00:03:05,051
Honest.
89
00:03:10,690 --> 00:03:11,557
Dude, dude,
check it out.
90
00:03:11,991 --> 00:03:13,292
This is the sweetest thing
i've ever done.
91
00:03:13,327 --> 00:03:14,558
You'veever done?
92
00:03:14,593 --> 00:03:16,762
Look how the crack is centered
right in the middle!
93
00:03:17,196 --> 00:03:18,896
Eric, calm down,
94
00:03:18,931 --> 00:03:20,197
I'm trying to
yell at butters.
95
00:03:20,232 --> 00:03:22,366
Oh yeah, i'm sorry,
miss chokson-Rocks.
96
00:03:22,401 --> 00:03:25,004
You know very well my name
isn't chokson-Rocks,
97
00:03:25,438 --> 00:03:26,704
It's choksondik!
98
00:03:26,739 --> 00:03:28,908
Say it right or you can go to
the principal with butters.
99
00:03:28,943 --> 00:03:30,643
I'm sorry,
miss choksondik.
100
00:03:31,077 --> 00:03:32,378
I tried to make
a good picture, honest.
101
00:03:32,812 --> 00:03:34,980
Your mother is waiting for you
in the principal's office.
102
00:03:35,015 --> 00:03:35,813
My mom?
103
00:03:35,848 --> 00:03:37,366
Oh, sweet jesus.
104
00:03:37,401 --> 00:03:38,849
Oh, oh my god.
105
00:03:38,884 --> 00:03:41,053
More people have to see
this picture, you guys.
106
00:03:41,088 --> 00:03:42,354
I've gotta to put it
on the internet.
107
00:03:42,389 --> 00:03:43,621
No, wait.
108
00:03:43,656 --> 00:03:46,692
Kenny, i just had the
greatest idea, ever.
109
00:03:51,030 --> 00:03:52,765
Welcome to south park
milk company,
110
00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:53,867
Can i help you.
111
00:03:53,902 --> 00:03:54,899
Oh yes, hello.
112
00:03:54,934 --> 00:03:56,886
I am helping out a family
who has a missing child
113
00:03:56,921 --> 00:03:58,838
And i was wondering if
you could print his photo
114
00:03:58,873 --> 00:04:01,006
On your milk cartons?
115
00:04:01,041 --> 00:04:02,273
Oh, of course.
116
00:04:02,308 --> 00:04:04,043
Printing those photos on
our milk really does help.
117
00:04:04,477 --> 00:04:05,995
Do you have the photo
with you?
118
00:04:06,030 --> 00:04:07,513
Yes, i have it
right h'nyah.
119
00:04:07,548 --> 00:04:08,814
Okay, great.
120
00:04:09,248 --> 00:04:10,116
We'll print it
immediately.
121
00:04:10,151 --> 00:04:11,417
You will?
122
00:04:12,718 --> 00:04:15,321
Thank you for your help.
123
00:04:15,356 --> 00:04:16,153
Sure.
124
00:04:16,188 --> 00:04:17,490
If i could just get a
description of the child
125
00:04:17,525 --> 00:04:19,225
To print underneath
the photo.
126
00:04:19,260 --> 00:04:20,526
Description... oh yes.
127
00:04:20,960 --> 00:04:22,695
He has blonde hair.
128
00:04:23,129 --> 00:04:25,731
And a brown eye.
129
00:04:27,900 --> 00:04:29,418
A brown eye.
130
00:04:29,453 --> 00:04:30,936
Okay, brown eye.
131
00:04:31,370 --> 00:04:33,973
And big, rosy cheeks.
132
00:04:34,008 --> 00:04:34,840
Full cheeks.
133
00:04:37,009 --> 00:04:38,275
Full cheeks!
134
00:04:38,310 --> 00:04:40,913
Winking brown eye,
brown eye's winking.
135
00:04:42,648 --> 00:04:44,383
Ms. Hamilton was
the fourth person
136
00:04:44,817 --> 00:04:46,552
To be run over by a
motorcycle this week,
137
00:04:46,986 --> 00:04:49,155
Leaving a city to ponder,
"who will be next?"
138
00:04:51,323 --> 00:04:52,191
Hello.
139
00:04:54,360 --> 00:04:55,661
You guys, you guys...
140
00:04:56,095 --> 00:04:57,396
Hello?
141
00:05:00,432 --> 00:05:02,601
Cartman?
142
00:05:03,035 --> 00:05:05,603
Hurry.
143
00:05:05,638 --> 00:05:06,505
What's he want?
144
00:05:06,939 --> 00:05:08,674
I don't know,
let's go see.
145
00:05:13,879 --> 00:05:15,614
Why'd you call us?
146
00:05:15,649 --> 00:05:17,150
Come on, come on.
147
00:05:17,185 --> 00:05:18,651
It's so sweet.
148
00:05:19,084 --> 00:05:20,820
You guys, stan,
here, this is so sweet.
149
00:05:20,855 --> 00:05:22,555
God damn it,
cartman, what?
150
00:05:29,061 --> 00:05:31,230
You put kenny's picture
on a milk carton?
151
00:05:31,265 --> 00:05:32,531
Look at the
descriptions.
152
00:05:32,965 --> 00:05:33,833
Brown eye!
153
00:05:36,435 --> 00:05:37,303
That isn't funny,
cartman.
154
00:05:37,736 --> 00:05:39,038
Oh, it's so
completely funny.
155
00:05:39,471 --> 00:05:41,206
It's totally funny.
156
00:05:41,241 --> 00:05:42,907
No, it's not, cartman.
157
00:05:42,942 --> 00:05:44,243
You know, there really
are couples out there
158
00:05:44,278 --> 00:05:45,978
Who are missing children.
159
00:05:46,013 --> 00:05:47,244
No there aren't.
160
00:05:47,279 --> 00:05:49,882
Jesus, grow up,
you guys.
161
00:06:00,292 --> 00:06:02,027
Oh my god...
162
00:06:02,062 --> 00:06:03,727
Oh my god!
163
00:06:03,762 --> 00:06:05,931
Steven, steven,
come quick!
164
00:06:05,966 --> 00:06:07,467
What is it, martha?
165
00:06:07,502 --> 00:06:09,319
Look, it's him.
166
00:06:09,354 --> 00:06:11,136
It's... our son.
167
00:06:11,171 --> 00:06:12,872
Our son?!
168
00:06:17,543 --> 00:06:19,278
And so that's when i called
out to my husband.
169
00:06:19,712 --> 00:06:21,881
I just knew the boy pictured
on your milk carton
170
00:06:21,916 --> 00:06:24,483
Was our little tommy.
171
00:06:24,518 --> 00:06:26,218
Yes, i see.
172
00:06:26,652 --> 00:06:29,255
But the child on the milk carton
was reported missing,
173
00:06:29,290 --> 00:06:30,556
Not found.
174
00:06:30,990 --> 00:06:31,857
We realize that.
175
00:06:32,291 --> 00:06:34,243
But we just thought
that maybe someone else
176
00:06:34,278 --> 00:06:36,104
Had found tommy and then
lost him again.
177
00:06:36,139 --> 00:06:37,902
We're pretty certain
that it's our boy,
178
00:06:37,937 --> 00:06:40,102
Considering his physical
appearance.
179
00:06:40,137 --> 00:06:42,268
Martha and i have
the same condition.
180
00:06:42,303 --> 00:06:43,968
Right.
181
00:06:44,003 --> 00:06:45,304
You may not have
realized it,
182
00:06:45,738 --> 00:06:48,774
But we actually have buttocks
where our heads should be.
183
00:06:48,809 --> 00:06:50,309
Really?
184
00:06:50,344 --> 00:06:51,775
Yes.
185
00:06:51,810 --> 00:06:53,112
Steve and i have
a condition called
186
00:06:53,545 --> 00:06:54,847
"Torsonic polarity
syndrome".
187
00:06:55,281 --> 00:06:57,883
It's a birth defect that's
passed on genetically.
188
00:06:58,317 --> 00:07:00,920
Over 11 people worldwide
suffer from t.P.S.
189
00:07:00,955 --> 00:07:03,956
Mmm, mmm,
that's amazing.
190
00:07:04,390 --> 00:07:06,125
Martha and i were lucky
enough to meet each other
191
00:07:06,160 --> 00:07:08,294
At a t.P.S. Convention
in france.
192
00:07:08,727 --> 00:07:10,896
So, ah, do you
have heads
193
00:07:11,330 --> 00:07:13,065
Down where your
rear end should be?
194
00:07:13,100 --> 00:07:14,366
No, no,
don't be silly.
195
00:07:14,800 --> 00:07:17,836
You see, with t.P.S. The birth
defect is on the exterior only.
196
00:07:17,871 --> 00:07:20,005
Behind this we still have
all our vital head organs-
197
00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:22,174
Tongue, eyes,
nasal passages.
198
00:07:22,209 --> 00:07:23,909
Well, mr. And mrs...
199
00:07:23,944 --> 00:07:25,445
Uh, thompson.
200
00:07:25,480 --> 00:07:26,911
Thompson.
201
00:07:26,946 --> 00:07:29,114
I'll contact the young boy
who gave me the photo
202
00:07:29,548 --> 00:07:31,283
And perhaps we can all
visit him together.
203
00:07:31,318 --> 00:07:32,549
Oh, wonderful!
204
00:07:32,584 --> 00:07:34,753
Steven, we're going
to see tommy again.
205
00:07:34,788 --> 00:07:35,621
Now, martha,
206
00:07:36,055 --> 00:07:37,790
What did i say about
getting your hopes up?
207
00:07:37,825 --> 00:07:40,392
You're right,
you're right.
208
00:07:42,127 --> 00:07:46,031
Okay, cartman, what do
you want this time?
209
00:07:46,066 --> 00:07:47,333
Oh, you guys, you guys.
210
00:07:47,368 --> 00:07:48,599
Oh my god.
211
00:07:48,634 --> 00:07:50,369
Okay, okay, so
get this, get this.
212
00:07:50,404 --> 00:07:52,069
The milk company
calls me, right?
213
00:07:52,104 --> 00:07:55,140
They call me and say that
two people from wisconsin
214
00:07:55,175 --> 00:07:57,309
Saw the picture of kenny
on the milk carton
215
00:07:57,344 --> 00:07:59,478
And they think
it's their kid.
216
00:08:02,514 --> 00:08:03,816
Dude, that's not funny if
they're missing their son.
217
00:08:04,249 --> 00:08:05,516
No, no, no, no.
218
00:08:05,551 --> 00:08:06,852
Because apparently
these two people
219
00:08:07,286 --> 00:08:09,455
Also kind of look like
they have butts
220
00:08:09,490 --> 00:08:11,623
Where their heads
should be.
221
00:08:13,792 --> 00:08:14,660
Nah-Uh!
222
00:08:15,094 --> 00:08:15,926
Oh yes!
223
00:08:15,961 --> 00:08:17,227
And the best part is,
224
00:08:17,262 --> 00:08:18,998
They're coming here
to my house.
225
00:08:19,431 --> 00:08:20,733
And it is gonna be
so funny!
226
00:08:22,468 --> 00:08:24,203
Oh jeez, that's
probably them now.
227
00:08:24,238 --> 00:08:25,938
Okay, you guys,
just play it good.
228
00:08:25,973 --> 00:08:28,540
Just, shh, no,
you guys.
229
00:08:31,577 --> 00:08:33,746
Okay, okay- Shh...
230
00:08:36,782 --> 00:08:41,120
Hello, we're mr.
And mrs. Thompson.
231
00:08:45,891 --> 00:08:46,759
Eh.
232
00:08:48,060 --> 00:08:49,361
Holy crap, dude.
233
00:08:49,396 --> 00:08:50,229
No way!
234
00:08:52,398 --> 00:08:55,434
We understand you've
seen our son.
235
00:09:00,205 --> 00:09:01,940
Ah, is this the
right address?
236
00:09:01,975 --> 00:09:03,640
I, i don't...
237
00:09:03,675 --> 00:09:05,411
Cartman, where are
you going?
238
00:09:08,447 --> 00:09:11,483
Excuse me, do you boys know
anything about this?
239
00:09:11,518 --> 00:09:12,585
Ah, uhh...
240
00:09:12,620 --> 00:09:13,617
Oh boy.
241
00:09:13,652 --> 00:09:14,953
Look, if you want
an explanation
242
00:09:14,988 --> 00:09:16,255
You better go
to kenny's house.
243
00:09:16,688 --> 00:09:17,556
Yeah, he lives about
four houses away
244
00:09:17,990 --> 00:09:18,857
On the
bad side of town.
245
00:09:19,291 --> 00:09:21,026
Oh, thank you,
thank you!
246
00:09:21,894 --> 00:09:22,726
Well?
247
00:09:22,761 --> 00:09:24,930
They said to inquire
four houses down.
248
00:09:24,965 --> 00:09:26,665
Let's hurry!
249
00:09:27,533 --> 00:09:28,834
Cartman, what the
hell you doing?
250
00:09:28,869 --> 00:09:30,135
Yeah, you missed them
turning around.
251
00:09:30,170 --> 00:09:31,870
You guys,
something's wrong.
252
00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:32,738
What?
253
00:09:33,172 --> 00:09:35,774
I think i just saw the
funniest thing i'll ever see.
254
00:09:36,208 --> 00:09:38,377
And i think...
i blew a funny fuse.
255
00:09:38,811 --> 00:09:40,077
Blew a funny fuse?
256
00:09:40,112 --> 00:09:42,714
It was just too much and my
sense of humor overloaded.
257
00:09:42,749 --> 00:09:45,751
I don't think anything will
ever be funny again.
258
00:09:46,185 --> 00:09:49,221
Oh god, what have i done?
259
00:09:50,956 --> 00:09:52,656
You mean they both have
butts instead of heads?
260
00:09:52,691 --> 00:09:54,426
Yeah, dude, we'll show you,
they're over at kenny's.
261
00:09:54,461 --> 00:09:55,259
How do they eat?
262
00:09:55,294 --> 00:09:56,595
How the hell
should we know?
263
00:09:56,630 --> 00:09:57,697
Butters,
hey, butters!
264
00:09:57,732 --> 00:09:58,764
You gotta
check this out!
265
00:09:59,198 --> 00:10:00,065
What?
266
00:10:00,499 --> 00:10:01,583
You gotta come to
kenny's house with us.
267
00:10:01,618 --> 00:10:02,668
There's these two people
who have asses
268
00:10:02,703 --> 00:10:03,969
Where their heads
should be.
269
00:10:04,004 --> 00:10:05,235
Ah, i can't fellas.
270
00:10:05,270 --> 00:10:07,005
I'm grounded for looking
stupid in my school picture.
271
00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:08,541
But, dude, you gotta see,
it's hysterical.
272
00:10:08,576 --> 00:10:10,042
Butters can't come out
and play, boys.
273
00:10:10,476 --> 00:10:12,427
Hethinks it's funny
to look like a jackass
274
00:10:12,462 --> 00:10:14,379
In his school pictures
that i have to pay for.
275
00:10:14,414 --> 00:10:15,646
But i told you, mom,
276
00:10:15,681 --> 00:10:17,416
I didn't mean to look
like a jackass.
277
00:10:17,451 --> 00:10:18,682
It just happened.
278
00:10:18,717 --> 00:10:20,018
You made a goofy face.
279
00:10:20,053 --> 00:10:20,851
No!
280
00:10:20,886 --> 00:10:22,187
That's just what
i look like.
281
00:10:22,222 --> 00:10:23,887
See?
282
00:10:23,922 --> 00:10:26,959
Don't you make that face
at me young man.
283
00:10:27,392 --> 00:10:29,128
I'm not making
a face, mom!
284
00:10:29,561 --> 00:10:30,828
Stop it!
285
00:10:30,863 --> 00:10:32,598
Come on, we wanna
see the ass people.
286
00:10:33,031 --> 00:10:34,332
All right.
287
00:10:34,367 --> 00:10:35,599
Fine, butters,
288
00:10:35,634 --> 00:10:37,369
If you don't wanna stop making
that stupid face at me
289
00:10:37,404 --> 00:10:39,538
You can just stay in your room
for another week.
290
00:10:39,573 --> 00:10:40,839
Another week?
291
00:10:41,273 --> 00:10:43,442
I hate my
stupid face.
292
00:10:45,177 --> 00:10:46,877
Okay, eric,
as your counselor,
293
00:10:46,912 --> 00:10:50,816
I want you to feel comfortable
talking about anything, m'kay.
294
00:10:51,250 --> 00:10:53,852
Mr. Mackey, is it possible that
you can see something so funny
295
00:10:53,887 --> 00:10:55,986
That it ruins your
sense of humor forever?
296
00:10:56,021 --> 00:10:58,624
Well, i can't think of anything
that would bethatfunny.
297
00:10:59,057 --> 00:11:00,324
Two people with
asses for heads.
298
00:11:00,359 --> 00:11:02,961
Ever since i saw them
i can't laugh at anything.
299
00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:03,794
Oh, i see.
300
00:11:03,829 --> 00:11:05,998
Well, what did you
used to think was funny?
301
00:11:06,033 --> 00:11:07,299
You know, all the
usual stuff-
302
00:11:07,733 --> 00:11:09,902
Dirty jokes, funny movies,
seeing someone die.
303
00:11:09,937 --> 00:11:11,637
This morning i even saw
a little girl
304
00:11:12,070 --> 00:11:12,938
Get her fingers caught
in a car door
305
00:11:13,372 --> 00:11:14,638
And i couldn't laugh.
306
00:11:14,673 --> 00:11:17,275
I mean, i knew it was funny,
but i couldn't laugh.
307
00:11:17,310 --> 00:11:19,878
Well, eric, i suppose that
just like everything else
308
00:11:19,913 --> 00:11:21,578
Laughter can be relative.
309
00:11:21,613 --> 00:11:24,650
In other words, sometimes
people see something so scary
310
00:11:24,685 --> 00:11:26,350
That nothing else scares them,
311
00:11:26,385 --> 00:11:28,554
So the same could be true
for funny things.
312
00:11:28,987 --> 00:11:30,722
So does that mean
i'll never laugh again?
313
00:11:30,757 --> 00:11:32,422
It's possible, m'kay.
314
00:11:32,457 --> 00:11:35,060
But, y'know, if you have
completely lost your sense of humor
315
00:11:35,494 --> 00:11:38,096
You can always become a writer
for the show "friends".
316
00:11:38,530 --> 00:11:39,831
M'kay.
317
00:11:39,866 --> 00:11:41,133
Euh!
318
00:11:42,434 --> 00:11:44,386
And so you see, our son
was just playing a joke
319
00:11:44,421 --> 00:11:46,338
And the little fat kid
put it on the milk carton.
320
00:11:46,373 --> 00:11:48,038
Yes, yes, i see.
321
00:11:48,073 --> 00:11:52,411
Kenny, don't you think you owe
the thompsons an apology?
322
00:11:52,844 --> 00:11:55,412
No, it was foolish for us
to get our hopes up.
323
00:11:55,447 --> 00:11:58,050
It was just such a coincidence
considering the photo.
324
00:11:58,085 --> 00:11:59,316
You may not have
realized this,
325
00:11:59,351 --> 00:12:02,387
But martha and i have buttocks
where our heads should be.
326
00:12:02,422 --> 00:12:04,087
Really? Really?
327
00:12:04,122 --> 00:12:05,389
Mr. And mrs. Thompson,
328
00:12:05,424 --> 00:12:07,159
How long has it been since
you've seen your son?
329
00:12:07,194 --> 00:12:09,328
Tommy disappeared
when he was only seven.
330
00:12:09,363 --> 00:12:11,028
Oh, steven!
331
00:12:11,063 --> 00:12:13,665
It's like it's all
happening all over again.
332
00:12:16,702 --> 00:12:18,003
There, there now.
333
00:12:18,437 --> 00:12:21,473
Please, mrs. Thompson,
it'll be all right.
334
00:12:21,907 --> 00:12:24,076
Listen, the south park
milk company
335
00:12:24,111 --> 00:12:25,342
Is the country's largest.
336
00:12:25,377 --> 00:12:27,112
We find lost children
all the time.
337
00:12:29,281 --> 00:12:35,354
We can help you find tommy with
the milk company's database!
338
00:12:35,389 --> 00:12:38,824
Yes, we'll all help you
find your son.
339
00:12:38,859 --> 00:12:40,090
Just stop crying.
340
00:12:40,125 --> 00:12:42,728
Please, for the love of god,
stop crying!
341
00:12:42,763 --> 00:12:47,499
I'm sorry, i'm sorry.
342
00:12:47,933 --> 00:12:50,969
Mr. Thompson, how did your
son become missing,
343
00:12:51,004 --> 00:12:52,236
Was he abducted?
344
00:12:52,271 --> 00:12:54,439
Yes, he was in the care
of our nanny at the time.
345
00:12:54,474 --> 00:12:56,608
The nanny that we trusted
so much took off with him
346
00:12:56,643 --> 00:12:58,343
And we still don't know why.
347
00:12:59,645 --> 00:13:01,813
We think perhaps she wanted
a child of her own.
348
00:13:01,848 --> 00:13:03,548
And this was back
in wisconsin?
349
00:13:03,982 --> 00:13:06,151
Yes, but we last heard
the nanny was heading west.
350
00:13:06,186 --> 00:13:08,754
That's why we thought
colorado made sense.
351
00:13:08,789 --> 00:13:10,506
We tried every avenue
to find him,
352
00:13:10,541 --> 00:13:12,224
But we never tried
the milk company.
353
00:13:12,259 --> 00:13:13,490
Well, you just
give us a try,
354
00:13:13,525 --> 00:13:15,225
I think that you'll find
that south park milk
355
00:13:15,260 --> 00:13:17,429
Is not the only the best
resource for finding kids,
356
00:13:17,464 --> 00:13:19,164
But also the best producer
of the freshest
357
00:13:19,199 --> 00:13:21,333
2% low-Fat milk the
world can offer.
358
00:13:21,368 --> 00:13:22,165
Thank you.
359
00:13:22,200 --> 00:13:23,935
Thank you so much
for helping us.
360
00:13:23,970 --> 00:13:25,671
This certainly is
a friendly town.
361
00:13:26,104 --> 00:13:28,238
You've all been
so wonderful.
362
00:13:28,273 --> 00:13:30,008
Yes, i'm so grateful,
i just wanna cry again.
363
00:13:30,043 --> 00:13:31,310
No!
No! No!
364
00:13:35,814 --> 00:13:37,549
Dude, why are you wearing
shalana's panties?
365
00:13:40,152 --> 00:13:41,887
I had to wear
shalana's panties,
366
00:13:41,922 --> 00:13:44,489
Lisa's were
in the wash!
367
00:13:46,658 --> 00:13:47,959
Look, can we just
get this over with?
368
00:13:48,393 --> 00:13:49,695
But, dude, i can't
french-Kiss him,
369
00:13:49,730 --> 00:13:51,881
He's my grandpa!
370
00:13:51,916 --> 00:13:53,997
Come on, dude.
371
00:13:54,032 --> 00:13:55,767
Oh, all right,
here it goes.
372
00:13:55,802 --> 00:13:57,069
Come here, grandpa.
373
00:13:57,936 --> 00:13:58,804
Ohh!
374
00:13:59,237 --> 00:14:00,937
Oh, dude, oh.
375
00:14:00,972 --> 00:14:01,840
Dude, what's wrong
with you?
376
00:14:01,875 --> 00:14:03,106
Nothing's wrong with me.
377
00:14:03,141 --> 00:14:04,841
Well, i'm glad
that's over with.
378
00:14:04,876 --> 00:14:07,479
We better go back to the house
now to see how chris is doing.
379
00:14:09,648 --> 00:14:12,250
Heh heh.
380
00:14:13,118 --> 00:14:14,419
Hey... ooh.
381
00:14:17,022 --> 00:14:18,722
Mr. And mrs. Thompson,
382
00:14:18,757 --> 00:14:20,492
As president of the
south park milk company
383
00:14:20,527 --> 00:14:22,192
I want to apologize
personally
384
00:14:22,227 --> 00:14:24,396
For printing that falsified
picture on our milk cartons.
385
00:14:24,431 --> 00:14:26,565
Please, please,
it's not your fault.
386
00:14:26,998 --> 00:14:28,300
Yes, but here
at south park milk
387
00:14:28,335 --> 00:14:29,601
We strive for excellence.
388
00:14:30,035 --> 00:14:33,505
For instance, we are now
entering the extraction room.
389
00:14:33,540 --> 00:14:34,373
As you can see
390
00:14:34,806 --> 00:14:35,674
We keep it close to the
refrigeration room.
391
00:14:36,108 --> 00:14:37,409
That way we can get
the milk to the container
392
00:14:37,444 --> 00:14:38,675
As fast as possible.
393
00:14:38,710 --> 00:14:39,578
That's why some say
south park milk
394
00:14:40,011 --> 00:14:40,879
Tastes like
you're sucking it
395
00:14:41,313 --> 00:14:42,614
Right from the cow's
tits yourself.
396
00:14:42,649 --> 00:14:43,447
Amazing.
397
00:14:43,482 --> 00:14:45,217
Here, try a glass of
our cold vitamin "d"
398
00:14:45,252 --> 00:14:46,518
And our fresh scones.
399
00:14:47,386 --> 00:14:48,253
Delicious.
400
00:14:48,687 --> 00:14:49,554
Oh, excuse me,
401
00:14:49,988 --> 00:14:51,289
A little difficult to
drink with our condition.
402
00:14:51,723 --> 00:14:53,024
Martha and i actually
have buttocks
403
00:14:53,059 --> 00:14:54,326
Where our heads
should be.
404
00:14:54,361 --> 00:14:55,592
Really?
405
00:14:55,627 --> 00:14:57,145
Well, and in here
we have our
406
00:14:57,180 --> 00:14:58,789
Missing child
research center.
407
00:14:58,824 --> 00:15:00,399
Oh my, isn't
this impressive.
408
00:15:00,434 --> 00:15:01,700
Yes, with
thecowron 4000
409
00:15:02,134 --> 00:15:03,652
Mrs. Garthunk can
search a database
410
00:15:03,687 --> 00:15:05,170
Of over 30 million
missing child cases.
411
00:15:05,604 --> 00:15:07,772
We'll start the computer
on a data search.
412
00:15:07,807 --> 00:15:09,941
Now, when did your son
turn up missing?
413
00:15:09,976 --> 00:15:11,641
Well, it was 1982.
414
00:15:11,676 --> 00:15:13,845
Tommy was only
six at the time.
415
00:15:13,880 --> 00:15:14,713
All right then.
416
00:15:15,147 --> 00:15:16,231
Computer!
417
00:15:16,266 --> 00:15:17,280
Working!
418
00:15:17,315 --> 00:15:19,050
Run a scan of missing
children since 1982.
419
00:15:19,484 --> 00:15:21,653
Check for physical birth
defects called t.P.S.
420
00:15:21,688 --> 00:15:24,707
T.P.S., torsonic
polarity syndrome,
421
00:15:24,742 --> 00:15:27,691
Plus missing since
1982, working!
422
00:15:27,726 --> 00:15:29,895
So you actually haven't seen
your son in over 20 years?
423
00:15:29,930 --> 00:15:31,196
That's right.
424
00:15:31,630 --> 00:15:33,365
But then why did you think the
picture of kenny was him?
425
00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:35,065
Wouldn't your son
be much older now?
426
00:15:35,100 --> 00:15:37,269
Yes, but since he appeared to be
at least eight in the photo...
427
00:15:39,004 --> 00:15:42,439
We assumed someone had
seen him since we had.
428
00:15:42,474 --> 00:15:47,245
This is the only photo
we have of our little tommy.
429
00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:48,547
It's gonna take quite a while
for the computer
430
00:15:48,582 --> 00:15:50,247
To do a scan of
all missing kids.
431
00:15:50,282 --> 00:15:51,982
Well, why don't we let
miss garthunk do her work
432
00:15:52,017 --> 00:15:54,836
And i'll let you two out for
some good ol' colorado chili.
433
00:15:54,871 --> 00:15:57,656
We don't really like chili,
it makes us throw up.
434
00:15:59,391 --> 00:16:01,091
Well, hello, eric.
435
00:16:01,126 --> 00:16:02,427
I was really glad you
called me, very much.
436
00:16:02,462 --> 00:16:03,728
Jimmy, thank god,
get in here!
437
00:16:03,763 --> 00:16:05,429
What's this all about?
438
00:16:05,464 --> 00:16:07,632
Jimmy, you've always been my
favorite stand-Up comic.
439
00:16:08,066 --> 00:16:09,801
You've gotta help me,
i've lost my sense of humor.
440
00:16:09,836 --> 00:16:11,067
Gee, that's a
terrible thing, eric.
441
00:16:11,102 --> 00:16:13,271
Comedy can be the best
therapy, very much.
442
00:16:13,705 --> 00:16:15,006
I just have to find
my funny bone again.
443
00:16:15,041 --> 00:16:15,839
Just try and make me laugh.
444
00:16:15,874 --> 00:16:17,175
Oh, i don't think
that will be hard.
445
00:16:17,210 --> 00:16:18,477
I've been working
on my routine.
446
00:16:18,512 --> 00:16:19,743
Okay, let me have it.
447
00:16:19,778 --> 00:16:21,296
Okay, try this one
on for size.
448
00:16:21,331 --> 00:16:22,814
Why did the pigeon
cross the road?
449
00:16:22,849 --> 00:16:24,080
Okay, why?
450
00:16:24,115 --> 00:16:26,501
Because he was having
sex with the chick...
451
00:16:26,536 --> 00:16:29,229
Because he was having sex
with the ch-Chick...
452
00:16:29,264 --> 00:16:31,923
Because he was having
sex with the ch-Ch-Ch...
453
00:16:31,958 --> 00:16:34,491
He was having sex
with the chicken.
454
00:16:34,526 --> 00:16:37,996
Nah, see, something's
wrong, i'm not laughing.
455
00:16:38,031 --> 00:16:39,297
Wow, what a great
audience.
456
00:16:39,731 --> 00:16:40,815
How about this classic?
457
00:16:40,850 --> 00:16:41,900
Knock knock.
Who's there?
458
00:16:41,935 --> 00:16:43,600
Orange.
Orange who?
459
00:16:43,635 --> 00:16:45,153
Orange you glad
i didn't say b...
460
00:16:45,188 --> 00:16:46,797
Orange you glad
i didn't say ba...
461
00:16:46,832 --> 00:16:49,354
Orange you glad
i didn't say ba-N...
462
00:16:49,389 --> 00:16:51,877
Orange you glad
i didn't say ba-Nana?
463
00:16:52,744 --> 00:16:54,262
No, that didn't
work either.
464
00:16:54,297 --> 00:16:55,780
Wow, what a great
audience.
465
00:16:55,815 --> 00:16:56,613
Knock knock.
466
00:16:56,648 --> 00:16:57,481
Who's there?
467
00:16:57,516 --> 00:16:58,782
An interrupting cow.
468
00:16:58,817 --> 00:17:02,287
An interrupting cow who-
Moo!
469
00:17:03,154 --> 00:17:05,757
What a terrific audience.
470
00:17:10,529 --> 00:17:11,795
Ah, let's see.
471
00:17:11,830 --> 00:17:13,565
The dallas-Fort worth area,
i haven't tried there yet.
472
00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:14,667
Computer?
473
00:17:14,702 --> 00:17:15,699
Working.
474
00:17:15,734 --> 00:17:17,000
Scan for any children
reported found
475
00:17:17,035 --> 00:17:19,638
In the dallas-Fort worth area
with a facial deformity.
476
00:17:19,673 --> 00:17:20,071
Working.
477
00:17:21,806 --> 00:17:22,639
Negative.
478
00:17:22,674 --> 00:17:24,374
Oh, this is hopeless.
479
00:17:24,409 --> 00:17:25,277
Wait a minute,
let's try it this way.
480
00:17:25,710 --> 00:17:26,144
Computer!
481
00:17:26,578 --> 00:17:27,410
Working.
482
00:17:27,445 --> 00:17:28,747
Scan data banks
forchildren
483
00:17:29,180 --> 00:17:30,916
Who reported their
parentsmissing.
484
00:17:30,951 --> 00:17:32,182
Working.
485
00:17:32,217 --> 00:17:33,917
1,006,000 hits.
486
00:17:33,952 --> 00:17:36,555
All right, then break it down
to claims in the past 20 years.
487
00:17:36,590 --> 00:17:38,688
Working.
488
00:17:38,723 --> 00:17:40,857
321,000 hits.
489
00:17:40,892 --> 00:17:42,627
All right, now run a scan
on homogenized
490
00:17:42,662 --> 00:17:44,761
Versus pasteurized
skim milk.
491
00:17:44,796 --> 00:17:47,399
In skim form, homogenized
has longer shelf life
492
00:17:47,832 --> 00:17:49,134
By 2.3 weeks.
493
00:17:49,568 --> 00:17:50,400
Okay, okay.
494
00:17:50,435 --> 00:17:51,701
Now give me a breakdown
495
00:17:51,736 --> 00:17:53,003
Of people who are
seeking their parents
496
00:17:53,038 --> 00:17:56,942
Who also suffer from
a disease called t.P.S.
497
00:17:56,977 --> 00:17:58,642
Torsonic polarity syndrome
498
00:17:58,677 --> 00:18:00,412
Plus a claim
not to know parents.
499
00:18:00,845 --> 00:18:02,581
One match.
500
00:18:03,014 --> 00:18:03,882
Bingo.
501
00:18:04,316 --> 00:18:05,183
Do you have a photo?
502
00:18:05,218 --> 00:18:07,152
Printing!
503
00:18:07,187 --> 00:18:08,787
My god!
504
00:18:08,822 --> 00:18:10,388
Oh my god.
505
00:18:15,060 --> 00:18:16,795
Butters,
hey, butters!
506
00:18:16,830 --> 00:18:18,061
Hey, yeah?
507
00:18:18,096 --> 00:18:20,265
They found the butt-Face
people's son, butters.
508
00:18:20,699 --> 00:18:22,867
They're gonna have a big
reunion at the milk company.
509
00:18:22,902 --> 00:18:24,134
Oh gee, that sounds
swell, fellas.
510
00:18:24,169 --> 00:18:26,771
But i can't go 'cause i'm still
having behavioral problems.
511
00:18:27,205 --> 00:18:28,905
Why are you wearing
a paper bag on your head?
512
00:18:28,940 --> 00:18:30,675
My parents are making me wear
this paper bag on my head
513
00:18:31,109 --> 00:18:34,145
Until i learn to stop making
silly faces all the time.
514
00:18:34,180 --> 00:18:35,845
They really had it
up to here with me.
515
00:18:35,880 --> 00:18:38,917
Butters, are you ready to stop
with the stupid faces?
516
00:18:38,952 --> 00:18:40,183
I sure am, dad.
517
00:18:40,218 --> 00:18:41,953
All right, you can
take the paper bag off.
518
00:18:42,387 --> 00:18:43,219
Thanks, dad.
519
00:18:43,254 --> 00:18:44,521
I'm sorry i was bad.
520
00:18:44,556 --> 00:18:45,822
Oh, very funny, young man!
521
00:18:45,857 --> 00:18:47,592
You think it's clever to make
yourself up like a girl?
522
00:18:48,026 --> 00:18:48,858
But dad, i didn't-
523
00:18:48,893 --> 00:18:50,629
Did you use your
mother's makeup?
524
00:18:50,664 --> 00:18:51,496
She's gonna be furious.
525
00:18:51,930 --> 00:18:53,231
I'm not wearing
makeup, dad.
526
00:18:53,266 --> 00:18:54,532
Put that bag back on!
527
00:18:54,966 --> 00:18:56,666
Yes, sir.
528
00:18:56,701 --> 00:18:57,968
Dude, that
poor kid.
529
00:18:58,003 --> 00:19:01,906
Yeah, we gotta remember
to kick his ass tomorrow.
530
00:19:05,377 --> 00:19:06,678
Dear mom,
531
00:19:07,112 --> 00:19:09,280
I can no longer stand to be
without a sense of humor.
532
00:19:09,714 --> 00:19:12,317
Without laughter the world
is a cold and sad place.
533
00:19:12,352 --> 00:19:14,884
And i can't go out
to face it anymore.
534
00:19:14,919 --> 00:19:18,823
Please tell everyone why
i won't be at school.
535
00:19:23,161 --> 00:19:26,631
And please buy me
more chocolate guns.
536
00:19:26,666 --> 00:19:28,366
I'm starting to run out.
537
00:19:34,439 --> 00:19:36,608
Please get the kind with
marshmallow inside.
538
00:19:36,643 --> 00:19:38,777
I don't like the
peanut butter-Filled ones.
539
00:19:38,812 --> 00:19:40,078
Eric.
540
00:19:40,945 --> 00:19:42,212
And so it is
with great pride
541
00:19:42,247 --> 00:19:43,947
That we have flown little
billy thompson out here.
542
00:19:43,982 --> 00:19:47,886
To be reunited with his parents
for the first time in 20 years.
543
00:19:47,921 --> 00:19:49,187
Mrs. Garthunk.
544
00:19:49,621 --> 00:19:50,488
Thank you, mr. President.
545
00:19:50,922 --> 00:19:53,524
I'm proud to be an employee
of south park milk,
546
00:19:53,559 --> 00:19:56,144
Which to date has found
over 100,000 missing kids
547
00:19:56,179 --> 00:19:58,730
And led the way in the fight
against curdling.
548
00:19:58,765 --> 00:20:00,465
Mr. And mrs. Thompson,
your son grew up
549
00:20:00,500 --> 00:20:02,200
Not knowing who his
parents were.
550
00:20:02,634 --> 00:20:03,900
But he was strong
and resilient
551
00:20:03,935 --> 00:20:06,503
And ended up becoming
very successful.
552
00:20:06,538 --> 00:20:10,008
I think it will amaze you
as it will all of us to learn
553
00:20:10,043 --> 00:20:11,543
That your son...
554
00:20:11,578 --> 00:20:13,044
Is ben affleck.
555
00:20:13,478 --> 00:20:15,647
Come on out here,
ben!
556
00:20:15,682 --> 00:20:17,399
Mom, dad!
557
00:20:17,434 --> 00:20:19,082
Son!
558
00:20:19,117 --> 00:20:20,817
Oh, son!
559
00:20:20,852 --> 00:20:21,685
What's going on?
560
00:20:21,720 --> 00:20:23,455
Dude, the ass-Faces' son
is ben affleck.
561
00:20:23,490 --> 00:20:24,756
Oh, our little ben.
562
00:20:25,190 --> 00:20:26,890
Oh, i'm so happy.
563
00:20:26,925 --> 00:20:29,527
Wow, i never realized
ben had t.P.S.,
564
00:20:29,961 --> 00:20:32,130
But i definitely see
the resemblance now.
565
00:20:33,865 --> 00:20:35,166
Oh, son.
566
00:20:35,600 --> 00:20:36,433
Isn't this wonderful?
567
00:20:36,468 --> 00:20:38,168
Okay, gang,
give me a big smile.
568
00:20:38,203 --> 00:20:40,805
Well, looks like everything
turned out all right for them.
569
00:20:40,840 --> 00:20:43,408
Yeah, i guess now we'll have to
call him ben ass-Fleck.
570
00:20:45,577 --> 00:20:46,661
Ben ass-Fleck,
that's funny!
571
00:20:46,696 --> 00:20:47,746
Hey, you're laughing,
cartman.
572
00:20:48,179 --> 00:20:49,012
Hey, you're right.
573
00:20:49,047 --> 00:20:50,782
Oh, this is great-
Ben ass-Fleck!
574
00:20:51,216 --> 00:20:53,818
Wait a minute, don't you
see what happened?
575
00:20:53,853 --> 00:20:55,085
What?
576
00:20:55,120 --> 00:20:56,421
Everything turned out
okay for those people.
577
00:20:56,456 --> 00:20:57,288
And so now
you can laugh.
578
00:20:57,722 --> 00:20:58,555
Huh?
579
00:20:58,590 --> 00:20:59,457
When cartman first
opened the door
580
00:20:59,891 --> 00:21:00,724
And saw the thompsons
581
00:21:00,759 --> 00:21:02,060
He felt bad for playing
a joke on them.
582
00:21:02,095 --> 00:21:03,361
Now that everything's
turned out all right
583
00:21:03,396 --> 00:21:04,463
He's able to laugh.
584
00:21:04,498 --> 00:21:05,495
Whoa, you're right.
585
00:21:05,530 --> 00:21:07,048
Cartman had a feeling
of remorse.
586
00:21:07,083 --> 00:21:08,531
No, no, no,
i blew a funny fuse.
587
00:21:08,566 --> 00:21:10,735
There is no such thing as
a funny fuse, cartman.
588
00:21:10,770 --> 00:21:12,001
You felt bad!
589
00:21:12,036 --> 00:21:13,338
Whatever, all i know is
i can laugh again.
590
00:21:13,772 --> 00:21:15,507
I'm gonna go home and eat
another chocolate gun.
591
00:21:15,542 --> 00:21:17,242
Come on, kenny!
592
00:21:21,146 --> 00:21:23,748
Wow, cartman actually
felt bad for somebody
593
00:21:23,783 --> 00:21:24,581
And couldn't laugh at them.
594
00:21:24,616 --> 00:21:25,917
Our little man is
growing up, stan.
595
00:21:25,952 --> 00:21:27,652
He's growing up.
596
00:21:28,086 --> 00:21:29,352
Yeah, i guess we all are.
597
00:21:29,387 --> 00:21:30,255
Maybe things are
finally gonna start
598
00:21:30,688 --> 00:21:31,990
Getting more sophisticated
around here.
599
00:21:34,159 --> 00:21:34,991
Oh, son.
600
00:21:35,026 --> 00:21:38,062
Captioning made possible by
comedy central
601
00:21:38,097 --> 00:21:40,665
Captioned by
soundwriters
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
www.tvsubtitles.net
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