Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:26,010 --> 00:00:28,289
WOMAN: I'm not driving
you. GIRL: Please.
2
00:00:28,290 --> 00:00:29,649
I said no!
3
00:00:29,650 --> 00:00:32,209
Fine. I'm gonna miss
English. Ooh, you better not.
4
00:00:32,210 --> 00:00:35,649
I spend every waking hour paying
for your fucking school fees.
5
00:00:35,650 --> 00:00:37,409
And that's my fault, is it?
6
00:00:37,410 --> 00:00:39,129
Obviously not.
7
00:00:39,130 --> 00:00:41,889
Great. So if you're done
blaming me for your decisions,
8
00:00:41,890 --> 00:00:45,049
you can drop me at the station.
Hey! Walk away from the car.
9
00:00:45,050 --> 00:00:47,610
Alice, get your hands
off the Corolla.
10
00:00:53,130 --> 00:00:55,850
And pull your skirt down at
the back. It's all hitched...
11
00:01:03,050 --> 00:01:04,410
Hey, Mia. Hi, Sam.
12
00:01:08,170 --> 00:01:11,449
No, no. 110%. Too easy.
13
00:01:11,450 --> 00:01:13,569
Thank you. My pleasure.
14
00:01:13,570 --> 00:01:15,089
Bye.
15
00:01:15,090 --> 00:01:16,969
Sorry, it was the kid.
16
00:01:16,970 --> 00:01:19,369
I don't wanna bore you with the
details, but that little turd,
17
00:01:19,370 --> 00:01:21,410
she was on fire this morning.
18
00:01:22,730 --> 00:01:25,409
(SIGHS) So what did he say?
19
00:01:25,410 --> 00:01:27,289
Readership's down,
they're haemorrhaging cash
20
00:01:27,290 --> 00:01:29,169
and someone's definitely
getting the arse.
21
00:01:29,170 --> 00:01:31,690
Oh, it's me, isn't
it? It's you...
22
00:01:33,490 --> 00:01:34,970
..or Stuart.
23
00:01:38,330 --> 00:01:40,129
Can't you make him sit down?
24
00:01:40,130 --> 00:01:42,769
You need to annihilate him.
25
00:01:42,770 --> 00:01:45,529
Oh, I can do that. Yeah,
but historically, you can't.
26
00:01:45,530 --> 00:01:47,009
Yes, I can. Sam!
27
00:01:47,010 --> 00:01:49,289
You're a better writer,
you're a better human.
28
00:01:49,290 --> 00:01:50,690
Nobody cares.
29
00:01:52,170 --> 00:01:54,489
They want one piece
from each of you.
30
00:01:54,490 --> 00:01:56,129
Different advertorials.
31
00:01:56,130 --> 00:01:58,049
A new-age float tank.
32
00:01:58,050 --> 00:01:59,809
Sex toy for couples.
33
00:01:59,810 --> 00:02:03,170
Oh, don't make me cry. I'm
giving you the first choice.
34
00:02:04,210 --> 00:02:05,449
Do the float tank.
35
00:02:05,450 --> 00:02:07,809
You can spin gold out of that
in your sleep, you love a bath.
36
00:02:07,810 --> 00:02:10,449
I'm not topping Stuart
with a float tank.
37
00:02:11,770 --> 00:02:13,890
Give us the sex toy.
38
00:02:18,730 --> 00:02:20,409
Toys, plural.
39
00:02:20,410 --> 00:02:21,650
Yeah, yeah, whatever. Whatever.
40
00:02:22,690 --> 00:02:24,010
It's for couples.
41
00:02:25,250 --> 00:02:26,689
Don't fuck me. Nah.
42
00:02:26,690 --> 00:02:28,490
Yeah. You can count
on me. (KISSES)
43
00:02:29,810 --> 00:02:31,849
Hey, Stuart. Hi. Hey.
44
00:02:31,850 --> 00:02:33,849
Nice to see you.
45
00:02:33,850 --> 00:02:35,130
Stuart.
46
00:02:41,250 --> 00:02:43,009
George!
47
00:02:43,010 --> 00:02:44,850
Hey. Hey.
48
00:02:45,970 --> 00:02:47,729
Sorry. Sorry, I'm late.
49
00:02:47,730 --> 00:02:49,489
I don't care.
50
00:02:49,490 --> 00:02:51,210
Hang on just a sec. (PANTS)
51
00:02:54,570 --> 00:02:55,849
Oh, yeah.
52
00:02:55,850 --> 00:02:58,409
Oh, Leish wants you to bring
the sweet potato salad.
53
00:02:58,410 --> 00:02:59,849
Yeah, no, she told me.
54
00:02:59,850 --> 00:03:02,130
Mate, I need a favour
from you. Can do.
55
00:03:03,170 --> 00:03:05,810
I need you to masturbate
into a machine for me.
56
00:03:07,530 --> 00:03:10,609
Look, if it's any help, I'll
also be wanking with a...
57
00:03:10,610 --> 00:03:12,329
..like a complimentary machine,
58
00:03:12,330 --> 00:03:13,729
same time. How
would that help?
59
00:03:13,730 --> 00:03:16,929
And, uh, both devices, they're
sort of connected to each other.
60
00:03:16,930 --> 00:03:18,369
I mean, not physically.
61
00:03:18,370 --> 00:03:20,609
They could be in different
countries, that's a whole idea.
62
00:03:20,610 --> 00:03:22,769
Oh, this is for work. Can't
I just write you a cheque?
63
00:03:22,770 --> 00:03:25,129
Oh, mate, you know I
would take your money,
64
00:03:25,130 --> 00:03:27,809
but this is more than a bailout,
this is actually my future.
65
00:03:27,810 --> 00:03:29,289
Is it? Really? Yes.
66
00:03:29,290 --> 00:03:30,970
Yes. My job is on the line.
67
00:03:32,090 --> 00:03:35,529
Look, if I had access to any other
cock at all, I wouldn't be asking.
68
00:03:35,530 --> 00:03:38,049
But I am getting less
skilled by the hour.
69
00:03:38,050 --> 00:03:39,809
I am knee-deep in
middle-age oblivion.
70
00:03:39,810 --> 00:03:41,610
And the truth is, I
don't give a shit.
71
00:03:42,690 --> 00:03:44,889
I want to be invisible,
but I also want to eat.
72
00:03:44,890 --> 00:03:47,169
And I want to educate my kid
and I don't want to be homeless.
73
00:03:47,170 --> 00:03:48,449
OK. OK.
74
00:03:48,450 --> 00:03:50,330
O... OK?
75
00:03:52,090 --> 00:03:54,769
So... what I've gotta...
76
00:03:54,770 --> 00:03:58,089
..put myself into...
Yeah. It's just like a...
77
00:03:58,090 --> 00:04:00,210
It's like a little
fake vagina. (CHUCKLES)
78
00:04:02,290 --> 00:04:04,049
It's in the back of the car.
79
00:04:04,050 --> 00:04:05,689
Thanks again, mate.
80
00:04:05,690 --> 00:04:07,289
Um...
81
00:04:07,290 --> 00:04:09,289
..uh...
82
00:04:09,290 --> 00:04:10,529
Oh.
83
00:04:10,530 --> 00:04:12,170
I owe you one.
84
00:04:14,650 --> 00:04:16,249
That is a bloody big box.
85
00:04:16,250 --> 00:04:17,728
Feel flattered.
86
00:04:17,730 --> 00:04:19,449
Also, I'm on a 48-hour deadline.
87
00:04:19,450 --> 00:04:22,209
Oh, mate, it's pretty busy the next
couple of days, it's chock-a-block.
88
00:04:22,210 --> 00:04:24,050
I can't just... What
about right now?
89
00:05:03,890 --> 00:05:06,089
(SIGHS) (PHONE RINGS)
90
00:05:06,090 --> 00:05:08,650
Yep. Uh, I feel like
I've already failed.
91
00:05:09,770 --> 00:05:11,929
It... it looks
like... a thermos.
92
00:05:11,930 --> 00:05:14,249
Um... Or a bit of PVC pipe.
93
00:05:14,250 --> 00:05:16,529
Actually, that makes more
sense. Yeah, I'm just gonna...
94
00:05:16,530 --> 00:05:18,049
..read the instructions.
95
00:05:18,050 --> 00:05:20,169
You telling me you don't know
how to turn on a vibrator?
96
00:05:20,170 --> 00:05:22,649
Oh, mate, this is not
your usual vibrator.
97
00:05:22,650 --> 00:05:24,449
Maybe you should put
that in your article.
98
00:05:24,450 --> 00:05:26,849
Yeah. Why don't you write it?
99
00:05:26,850 --> 00:05:28,290
I will.
100
00:05:30,490 --> 00:05:31,849
Oh, here we go.
101
00:05:31,850 --> 00:05:33,769
I've got an instructional video.
102
00:05:33,770 --> 00:05:34,890
I'm gonna watch this.
103
00:05:35,930 --> 00:05:40,009
VOICEOVER: Welcome to a brave
new world of sexual indulgence
104
00:05:40,010 --> 00:05:42,929
where physical distance
is no longer a barrier
105
00:05:42,930 --> 00:05:46,049
and modern technology meets
old-fashioned romance.
106
00:05:46,050 --> 00:05:47,769
Am I supposed to just put
it straight into that,
107
00:05:47,770 --> 00:05:49,409
without any lube or...?
108
00:05:49,410 --> 00:05:51,169
..adjustable clit arm.
109
00:05:51,170 --> 00:05:55,169
Any user anywhere can
control the vagina.
110
00:05:55,170 --> 00:05:58,129
OK, well, I don't want to
do that. I mean, who does?
111
00:05:58,130 --> 00:06:00,489
Like, who are they talking
to? Psychologically, I mean?
112
00:06:00,490 --> 00:06:01,729
It's pretty reductive.
113
00:06:01,730 --> 00:06:04,529
They clearly underestimate the
complexity of male sexuality.
114
00:06:04,530 --> 00:06:07,249
We've got to charge
the fucking things.
115
00:06:07,250 --> 00:06:08,690
(CHEWS)
116
00:06:10,650 --> 00:06:12,490
I mean, seriously?
117
00:06:13,770 --> 00:06:16,170
How hard is it to bang one
out the old-fashioned way?
118
00:06:18,970 --> 00:06:20,210
It's not that hard.
119
00:06:22,290 --> 00:06:24,249
Oh!
120
00:06:24,250 --> 00:06:25,929
Well, that... that
feels incredible.
121
00:06:25,930 --> 00:06:27,609
Oh, fuck! Mine's moving!
122
00:06:27,610 --> 00:06:29,050
Is yours moving? (DING!)
123
00:06:32,450 --> 00:06:33,889
(VIBRATES) Ooh.
124
00:06:33,890 --> 00:06:36,449
Oh, yeah, it's doing something.
125
00:06:36,450 --> 00:06:37,770
OK, well...
126
00:06:39,090 --> 00:06:40,650
..what do we do now?
127
00:06:42,250 --> 00:06:44,369
I'm just gonna go in.
What, no foreplay?
128
00:06:44,370 --> 00:06:46,929
Yeah, well, mate,
you just keep up.
129
00:06:46,930 --> 00:06:48,170
OK, hang on.
130
00:06:49,210 --> 00:06:50,410
(GROANS)
131
00:06:52,250 --> 00:06:53,410
(GRUNTS)
132
00:06:56,250 --> 00:06:57,610
Oh.
133
00:06:59,210 --> 00:07:00,250
Oh.
134
00:07:01,890 --> 00:07:03,249
Alright, can you feel anything?
135
00:07:03,250 --> 00:07:05,649
Oh, yep! Oh, I really can.
136
00:07:05,650 --> 00:07:09,049
Yeah? OK, I'm just
going to, um...
137
00:07:09,050 --> 00:07:10,849
..have a little poke around.
138
00:07:10,850 --> 00:07:13,129
If you feel something,
you just tell me, yeah?
139
00:07:13,130 --> 00:07:14,929
Oh, fuck!
140
00:07:14,930 --> 00:07:17,729
Wow. Yeah, yeah!
141
00:07:17,730 --> 00:07:19,009
Yeah.
142
00:07:19,010 --> 00:07:21,369
Oh, my... God!
143
00:07:21,370 --> 00:07:23,769
Are they, uh... are
they happy sounds or...?
144
00:07:23,770 --> 00:07:25,969
Yeah, yep, yeah... (MOANS)
145
00:07:25,970 --> 00:07:27,009
Great.
146
00:07:27,010 --> 00:07:30,569
OK, so I'm just gonna fire
off a few questions as we go,
147
00:07:30,570 --> 00:07:33,849
so I just get a sense of what
the experience is for you.
148
00:07:33,850 --> 00:07:36,929
But if it's too distracting,
you just tell me 'cause I can...
149
00:07:36,930 --> 00:07:38,449
I can save them
all up for the end.
150
00:07:38,450 --> 00:07:42,169
Oh, Sammy. So... Wait...
Oh, my... (GROANS)
151
00:07:42,170 --> 00:07:44,249
(MOANS) Oh, fu... Oh, can...
152
00:07:44,250 --> 00:07:46,609
Oh, fuck. S... sorry.
153
00:07:46,610 --> 00:07:48,529
Sorry. So... (GROANS)
154
00:07:48,530 --> 00:07:50,249
Oh, fuck.
155
00:07:50,250 --> 00:07:51,490
Sorry. (SIGHS)
156
00:07:52,850 --> 00:07:54,009
Did you just...?
157
00:07:54,010 --> 00:07:57,169
Yep, I really did... Oh, God!
158
00:07:57,170 --> 00:08:00,049
Oh, you are fucking kidding me.
159
00:08:00,050 --> 00:08:04,649
Oh, my God, I have not felt
anything like that in my life.
160
00:08:04,650 --> 00:08:07,169
That thing could
end the human race.
161
00:08:07,170 --> 00:08:09,689
Holy shit! It felt that good.
162
00:08:09,690 --> 00:08:12,129
Oh, fuck. So sorry.
163
00:08:12,130 --> 00:08:13,969
Oh, no. Sorry.
164
00:08:13,970 --> 00:08:16,169
It's fine. I'm happy for you.
165
00:08:16,170 --> 00:08:19,809
Oh, thanks, mate.
(SIGHS) How'd you go?
166
00:08:19,810 --> 00:08:21,169
You didn't even turn me on.
167
00:08:21,170 --> 00:08:22,689
Oh.
168
00:08:22,690 --> 00:08:25,289
That's... embarrassing.
169
00:08:25,290 --> 00:08:26,969
Oh, who am I gonna tell?
170
00:08:26,970 --> 00:08:29,129
Um... mate, just give me...
171
00:08:29,130 --> 00:08:31,049
Give me 40 to an hour to reload.
172
00:08:31,050 --> 00:08:33,210
Ah, mate, it's not
your actual dick.
173
00:08:34,570 --> 00:08:37,208
Oh, yeah? How good's that, eh?
174
00:08:37,210 --> 00:08:39,489
Yeah. Yeah, that's really handy.
175
00:08:39,490 --> 00:08:41,568
Oh, so I'm just, um...
176
00:08:41,570 --> 00:08:42,929
I'm just hitting buttons, am I?
177
00:08:42,929 --> 00:08:43,970
Yep. That's it.
178
00:08:45,010 --> 00:08:46,769
(BEEPING) What's that?
What's that doing?
179
00:08:46,770 --> 00:08:48,489
Nothing.
180
00:08:48,490 --> 00:08:50,449
Oh. Uh...
181
00:08:50,450 --> 00:08:52,009
How about now?
182
00:08:52,010 --> 00:08:54,889
Um, nup. Nothing.
183
00:08:54,890 --> 00:08:57,210
Now? Nothing.
184
00:08:58,250 --> 00:09:00,209
Ow! Good ow?
185
00:09:00,210 --> 00:09:02,529
No, that's painful ow.
Ow! What are you doing?
186
00:09:02,530 --> 00:09:03,809
Well, it's a bit confusing.
187
00:09:03,810 --> 00:09:05,609
It's like they don't
want you to understand.
188
00:09:05,610 --> 00:09:07,329
Well, I managed to work
it out. (PHONE RINGS)
189
00:09:07,330 --> 00:09:09,569
Oh, fuck. Sorry. That's
my alarm. Hang on.
190
00:09:09,570 --> 00:09:12,330
Oh, could you just turn
it off? Yeah, I'm trying.
191
00:09:18,410 --> 00:09:19,530
It's Tom.
192
00:09:20,810 --> 00:09:23,769
I've gotta go pick him
up. Yeah. Yeah, of course.
193
00:09:23,770 --> 00:09:26,049
But, hey, at least we know
both machines work, yeah?
194
00:09:26,050 --> 00:09:28,849
So... so job done. I
cannot write that review.
195
00:09:28,850 --> 00:09:31,049
I cannot say, "The fake
vagina works a treat.
196
00:09:31,050 --> 00:09:32,769
"My mate blew in five seconds,
197
00:09:32,770 --> 00:09:34,929
"but then he had to
go and pick up his son
198
00:09:34,930 --> 00:09:38,009
"so we will never know
if the fake dick works."
199
00:09:38,010 --> 00:09:39,689
Fair enough.
200
00:09:39,690 --> 00:09:41,209
Oh, my God.
201
00:09:41,210 --> 00:09:42,770
I'm running out of time.
202
00:09:44,650 --> 00:09:46,970
OK. Midday tomorrow.
203
00:09:48,450 --> 00:09:50,889
Thank you. Don't thank me yet.
204
00:09:50,890 --> 00:09:53,609
Oh, jeez, it was easy
getting into this thing.
205
00:09:53,610 --> 00:09:56,089
It's proving a lot more
difficult... I'm, um...
206
00:09:56,090 --> 00:09:58,049
..to get back out. ..I'm
just going to let you go.
207
00:09:58,050 --> 00:09:59,690
Yeah, OK, I need both hands.
208
00:10:02,330 --> 00:10:03,769
(SIGHS)
209
00:10:03,770 --> 00:10:05,050
Wait, big boy.
210
00:10:07,050 --> 00:10:08,329
(WATER RUNS)
211
00:10:08,330 --> 00:10:09,330
(TAP TURNS OFF)
212
00:10:16,130 --> 00:10:17,930
(SAM SIGHS)
213
00:10:25,050 --> 00:10:27,009
Oh.
214
00:10:27,010 --> 00:10:29,049
She's been in my
room! Oh, fuck off.
215
00:10:29,050 --> 00:10:30,609
Ella! She had shoes on.
216
00:10:30,610 --> 00:10:32,369
Hey, pull your head in.
You are literally insane.
217
00:10:32,370 --> 00:10:34,289
It smells like dog poo. She
didn't go in there, mate.
218
00:10:34,290 --> 00:10:36,649
I swear to God. Back and
forth and back and forth!
219
00:10:36,650 --> 00:10:38,329
Ella, why do you
provoke him? (GASPS)
220
00:10:38,330 --> 00:10:41,049
Tom. Tommy. Hey, Tommy.
221
00:10:41,050 --> 00:10:43,569
Hey, look at me.
Tommy, Look at me.
222
00:10:43,570 --> 00:10:45,449
Mate, it was me. I'm sorry.
223
00:10:45,450 --> 00:10:48,729
I went in there to drop off some
clean clothes, and I got distracted.
224
00:10:48,730 --> 00:10:51,129
I'm sorry, I forgot. I will...
225
00:10:51,130 --> 00:10:53,169
I'll disinfect it
straight after tea, OK?
226
00:10:53,170 --> 00:10:56,529
OK. Four breaths
in... (BOTH INHALE)
227
00:10:56,530 --> 00:10:58,409
..and out. (BOTH EXHALE)
228
00:10:58,410 --> 00:11:00,369
And in
229
00:11:00,370 --> 00:11:01,849
and out.
230
00:11:01,850 --> 00:11:04,969
Let's just have a nice
dinner, OK? Come on.
231
00:11:04,970 --> 00:11:07,089
(BREATHES DEEPLY)
232
00:11:07,090 --> 00:11:08,610
(DOOR OPENS)
233
00:11:09,810 --> 00:11:12,849
Do you have to have your
boobs out like that?!
234
00:11:12,850 --> 00:11:15,809
Well, they float, so...
Just put them away.
235
00:11:15,810 --> 00:11:17,929
I... I genuinely, I can't.
236
00:11:17,930 --> 00:11:20,729
You don't have to look
at them so disgustedly.
237
00:11:20,730 --> 00:11:23,809
This is really sad. You're
projecting your body shame onto me.
238
00:11:23,810 --> 00:11:25,089
How?
239
00:11:25,090 --> 00:11:27,849
I don't have time to
educate you. Where's dinner?
240
00:11:27,850 --> 00:11:30,249
It's, uh, in the fridge.
241
00:11:30,250 --> 00:11:33,690
Is it leftovers? Yeah.
You know it is, baby.
242
00:11:37,890 --> 00:11:39,290
(DOOR SLAMS)
243
00:11:55,530 --> 00:11:57,570
(EXHALES)
244
00:12:04,970 --> 00:12:06,810
(PHONE RINGS)
245
00:12:08,010 --> 00:12:09,169
Hey.
246
00:12:09,170 --> 00:12:13,409
Hey, mate. Sorry. Sorry. It's been
one shitstorm after the other.
247
00:12:13,410 --> 00:12:14,969
I've just gotten home.
248
00:12:14,970 --> 00:12:18,449
The boys went to the wrong site,
the bloody concrete came late.
249
00:12:18,450 --> 00:12:20,489
Just give me a couple of secs.
250
00:12:20,490 --> 00:12:22,889
Is it just work
shitstorms or...?
251
00:12:22,890 --> 00:12:24,609
Oh, it's pretty even spread.
252
00:12:24,610 --> 00:12:26,889
We've hit another
rough patch with Tom.
253
00:12:26,890 --> 00:12:29,930
Oh, shit. Is it new meds?
254
00:12:31,010 --> 00:12:32,010
No.
255
00:12:33,610 --> 00:12:35,769
That's probably on the
cards, though, yeah.
256
00:12:35,770 --> 00:12:37,050
Well, how's Liesh?
257
00:12:38,450 --> 00:12:39,970
Yeah, yeah. She's, um...
258
00:12:41,250 --> 00:12:42,649
She's feeling it.
259
00:12:42,650 --> 00:12:43,769
Yeah.
260
00:12:43,770 --> 00:12:45,769
Well, give him my love.
261
00:12:45,770 --> 00:12:47,569
Yeah.
262
00:12:47,570 --> 00:12:48,850
Yeah, I will.
263
00:12:56,370 --> 00:12:57,530
Do you...
264
00:12:58,930 --> 00:13:01,610
..reckon this is something that
we should have run by Leish?
265
00:13:04,130 --> 00:13:06,809
Um, maybe you could have
put that on the table
266
00:13:06,810 --> 00:13:09,210
before I came into
a machine, but...
267
00:13:10,850 --> 00:13:12,170
N-no.
268
00:13:13,290 --> 00:13:16,370
I mean... No, no, it's OK.
Yeah. No, it's... it's fine.
269
00:13:17,690 --> 00:13:19,490
I've already done
it anyway, so...
270
00:13:21,090 --> 00:13:23,089
Yeah, OK. Well, um, great.
271
00:13:23,090 --> 00:13:26,649
Alright, so I've read the
instruction booklet, you know,
272
00:13:26,650 --> 00:13:28,569
cover to cover, so I've
really got a handle on it now.
273
00:13:28,570 --> 00:13:30,889
Was I supposed to read that?
In a perfect world, yeah.
274
00:13:30,890 --> 00:13:33,610
But I didn't expect you to, so
I'm gonna walk you through it.
275
00:13:35,570 --> 00:13:37,009
Are you in yet?
276
00:13:37,010 --> 00:13:38,449
No, I gotta... I gotta
put the phone down.
277
00:13:38,450 --> 00:13:40,250
Oh, yeah. OK, so go on.
278
00:13:41,930 --> 00:13:45,969
And when you're ready, we're just
going to go back into your settings.
279
00:13:45,970 --> 00:13:47,130
Yeah?
280
00:13:48,370 --> 00:13:49,370
(EXHALES)
281
00:13:50,530 --> 00:13:51,929
OK, I'm... I'm in.
282
00:13:51,930 --> 00:13:54,369
Alright, great.
Alright, so let's go...
283
00:13:54,370 --> 00:13:56,130
No, hang on. I'll
get my phone. Yeah.
284
00:13:57,050 --> 00:13:59,329
OK, uh... I'm in settings.
285
00:13:59,330 --> 00:14:00,489
Yep.
286
00:14:00,490 --> 00:14:01,770
It's not lit up like before.
287
00:14:05,090 --> 00:14:06,929
Why are you FaceTiming me?
288
00:14:06,930 --> 00:14:09,010
Just answer it and show
me your phone screen.
289
00:14:11,450 --> 00:14:12,969
Are you...
290
00:14:12,970 --> 00:14:14,130
..in bed?
291
00:14:15,610 --> 00:14:17,049
Yeah.
292
00:14:17,050 --> 00:14:18,929
So, uh, show us
your phone screen.
293
00:14:18,930 --> 00:14:19,930
Uh, y-yep.
294
00:14:20,930 --> 00:14:22,329
OK, um...
295
00:14:22,330 --> 00:14:24,129
Oh, yeah, see where
it says 'Bluetooth'?
296
00:14:24,130 --> 00:14:25,130
Yeah.
297
00:14:25,131 --> 00:14:26,729
Yeah, and that little
white dot on the right?
298
00:14:26,730 --> 00:14:27,969
That was green before.
299
00:14:27,970 --> 00:14:29,929
Fuck sake. Just...
just push that.
300
00:14:29,930 --> 00:14:31,009
Oh, yeah. (CHIMES)
301
00:14:31,010 --> 00:14:32,049
Oh, yeah. Green again.
302
00:14:32,050 --> 00:14:33,089
Yeah, there you go.
303
00:14:33,090 --> 00:14:36,489
Yeah. OK, let's get
this party started.
304
00:14:36,490 --> 00:14:38,449
Um, let's just, um...
305
00:14:38,450 --> 00:14:40,889
Let me just set the
tone here. Please.
306
00:14:40,890 --> 00:14:43,009
Alright, so we're just going
to take baby steps, alright?
307
00:14:43,010 --> 00:14:44,929
And we're going
to do it together.
308
00:14:44,930 --> 00:14:46,649
Say no more. Oh,
well, I will say more.
309
00:14:46,650 --> 00:14:48,769
I'll say more about the remote.
No, you probably should.
310
00:14:48,770 --> 00:14:49,770
Yeah. About the remote. Yep.
311
00:14:49,771 --> 00:14:52,489
So if you just think
about it like it's...
312
00:14:52,490 --> 00:14:55,609
..it's just like a video game or
it's... it's like a TV remote.
313
00:14:55,610 --> 00:14:56,809
Right. Right. You know?
314
00:14:56,810 --> 00:14:58,929
You can. Here you
go. You can go up.
315
00:14:58,930 --> 00:15:00,129
OK.
316
00:15:00,130 --> 00:15:01,929
Mm. You can go down.
317
00:15:01,930 --> 00:15:04,369
Oh! Or you can go left.
318
00:15:04,370 --> 00:15:07,049
Yep. And you can go right.
319
00:15:07,050 --> 00:15:09,569
Just like driving
a forklift. Yep.
320
00:15:09,570 --> 00:15:10,729
Oh.
321
00:15:10,730 --> 00:15:12,249
Phew. Ah.
322
00:15:12,250 --> 00:15:13,649
Oh, OK.
323
00:15:13,650 --> 00:15:15,249
So... up.
324
00:15:15,250 --> 00:15:16,650
Oh, hello.
325
00:15:19,210 --> 00:15:21,329
OK. OK, that's doing something.
326
00:15:21,330 --> 00:15:22,569
Good something?
327
00:15:22,570 --> 00:15:24,889
How about if I do this? Ah...
328
00:15:24,890 --> 00:15:28,529
Is that better or...?
Yeah, that's not bad.
329
00:15:28,530 --> 00:15:30,809
Alright, how about if I do this?
330
00:15:30,810 --> 00:15:33,049
Oh, fuck. Um...
331
00:15:33,050 --> 00:15:34,689
I'm just gonna.
332
00:15:34,690 --> 00:15:36,649
I'm just gonna turn
the camera off.
333
00:15:36,650 --> 00:15:37,650
Oh, that good?
334
00:15:37,651 --> 00:15:39,529
Yeah, I just don't want
to see your come face.
335
00:15:39,530 --> 00:15:41,089
I actually happen to
look quite handsome.
336
00:15:41,090 --> 00:15:42,689
Ha! No, you don't.
337
00:15:42,690 --> 00:15:44,129
How do you know?
Leish likes it.
338
00:15:44,130 --> 00:15:45,689
She's lying.
339
00:15:45,690 --> 00:15:49,209
Alright, how about some,
uh, some role play?
340
00:15:49,210 --> 00:15:53,009
The, um, the... (SCOTTISH ACCENT)
..the tale of the simple-minded gimp.
341
00:15:53,010 --> 00:15:54,569
Is that's supposed to be Irish?
342
00:15:54,570 --> 00:15:56,969
It's clearly Scottish.
Oh. You have a go, then.
343
00:15:56,970 --> 00:15:58,609
Oh...
344
00:15:58,610 --> 00:16:00,249
That's not gonna... Oh...
345
00:16:00,250 --> 00:16:02,289
OK. Yep. ..happen.
346
00:16:02,290 --> 00:16:03,329
Oh.
347
00:16:03,330 --> 00:16:04,889
Oh, my God.
348
00:16:04,890 --> 00:16:05,969
OK.
349
00:16:05,970 --> 00:16:08,050
Oh, Jesus.
350
00:16:09,010 --> 00:16:11,209
Oh, fuck me!
351
00:16:11,210 --> 00:16:13,089
Oh, my God. No wonder
you came so quickly.
352
00:16:13,090 --> 00:16:15,529
Oh, oh, oh! Thank
you. Oh, fuck.
353
00:16:15,530 --> 00:16:17,410
Oh, if you could just, um...
354
00:16:18,490 --> 00:16:19,889
Oh, could you just turn me up?
355
00:16:19,890 --> 00:16:21,329
Just... just... just a little?
356
00:16:21,330 --> 00:16:23,089
Oh! Yep. Yeah. Yeah.
357
00:16:23,090 --> 00:16:24,409
Oh! Oh, God.
358
00:16:24,410 --> 00:16:25,530
Oh. Oh.
359
00:16:26,530 --> 00:16:27,890
Is it, um...
360
00:16:29,050 --> 00:16:30,929
..is it too weird if I, uh...
361
00:16:30,930 --> 00:16:32,490
I want to see your face.
362
00:16:42,290 --> 00:16:43,530
Oh, fuck.
363
00:16:44,610 --> 00:16:45,809
Oh. Oh.
364
00:16:45,810 --> 00:16:47,249
Oh. Yeah, yeah.
365
00:16:47,250 --> 00:16:49,609
Oh, I just... I am...
366
00:16:49,610 --> 00:16:52,529
Oh, fuck. I'm right behind
you. Oh. OK, slow it down.
367
00:16:52,530 --> 00:16:54,729
Right there, right there, right
there. Right there. Right there.
368
00:16:54,730 --> 00:16:55,969
Could you just... Oh.
369
00:16:55,970 --> 00:16:57,209
Oh, fuck. Turn me up!
370
00:16:57,210 --> 00:16:58,409
Yeah, yeah.
371
00:16:58,410 --> 00:16:59,649
Oh, God!
372
00:16:59,650 --> 00:17:01,529
Oh! Oh!
373
00:17:01,530 --> 00:17:03,369
Oh! Oh! Oh, Jesus.
374
00:17:03,370 --> 00:17:04,648
Oh! (DOOR OPENS)
375
00:17:04,650 --> 00:17:06,449
Oh, no. Wait, wait! Stop! Wait!
376
00:17:06,450 --> 00:17:08,769
No, don't... Fuck! Don't come...
It's not what it looks like.
377
00:17:08,770 --> 00:17:10,169
Jesus. What the fuck?!
378
00:17:10,170 --> 00:17:11,170
Oh, God.
379
00:17:11,171 --> 00:17:12,689
Oh, no. Oh, fuck.
380
00:17:12,690 --> 00:17:13,849
Oh, God!
381
00:17:14,810 --> 00:17:16,368
Oh!
382
00:17:16,369 --> 00:17:18,130
Oh! Oh!
383
00:17:19,130 --> 00:17:21,049
Oh, God!
384
00:17:21,050 --> 00:17:22,130
Oh!
385
00:17:23,089 --> 00:17:24,169
Oh.
386
00:17:24,170 --> 00:17:26,089
(PANTS)
387
00:17:31,650 --> 00:17:32,650
Shit.
388
00:17:34,610 --> 00:17:35,610
(PHONE RINGS) G'day.
389
00:17:35,611 --> 00:17:37,369
This is George from
Creek Custom Concrete.
390
00:17:37,370 --> 00:17:39,569
Sorry, I can't come to the phone
right now. Just leave a message.
391
00:17:39,570 --> 00:17:40,570
(BEEP!)
392
00:17:45,210 --> 00:17:46,969
(GASPS) God!
393
00:17:46,970 --> 00:17:48,129
Why aren't you at school?!
394
00:17:48,130 --> 00:17:49,649
Half day.
395
00:17:49,650 --> 00:17:50,969
How long have you been here?
396
00:17:50,970 --> 00:17:53,210
Why are you out of breath?
I'm not out of breath.
397
00:17:55,330 --> 00:17:56,489
Have you been shopping?
398
00:17:56,490 --> 00:17:57,769
No.
399
00:17:57,770 --> 00:18:00,649
I'm sorry. I'm on a deadline, so
just... just order what you want.
400
00:18:00,650 --> 00:18:02,289
I failed my philosophy exam.
401
00:18:02,290 --> 00:18:03,689
What?
402
00:18:03,690 --> 00:18:06,249
Oh, not the ethics one. Oh, bub.
403
00:18:06,250 --> 00:18:08,690
Oh, honey, I'm so sorry.
404
00:18:10,610 --> 00:18:12,409
(SNIFFS)
405
00:18:12,410 --> 00:18:14,209
What is that smell?
406
00:18:14,210 --> 00:18:16,609
What smell? You smell
like... (SNIFFS)
407
00:18:16,610 --> 00:18:18,209
..plastic or Play
-Doh.
408
00:18:18,210 --> 00:18:20,450
Oh. I'm getting sushi.
409
00:18:37,770 --> 00:18:39,250
(SIGHS)
410
00:18:59,690 --> 00:19:00,690
Fuck.
411
00:19:11,730 --> 00:19:13,810
(EXHALES) P-p-p-p-pah.
412
00:19:25,890 --> 00:19:27,690
(CLOSES OVEN DOOR)
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.
413
00:19:33,530 --> 00:19:37,129
Oh, my God. You're making dinner?
Oh, no, it's just a salad.
414
00:19:37,130 --> 00:19:38,130
Oh.
415
00:19:38,131 --> 00:19:41,129
We're supposed to be going to George
and Leisha's tonight for dinner,
416
00:19:41,130 --> 00:19:43,729
but, you know, if you've, um...
417
00:19:43,730 --> 00:19:47,169
..if you've got a lot on or if
you're not feeling that well or...
418
00:19:47,170 --> 00:19:49,850
Why would you pull out this
late and risk setting Tommy off?
419
00:19:51,410 --> 00:19:53,329
I'm just thinking about you.
420
00:19:53,330 --> 00:19:55,009
I'm fine.
421
00:19:55,010 --> 00:19:56,490
Really?
422
00:19:57,530 --> 00:19:59,850
I mean... I'm OK.
423
00:20:03,010 --> 00:20:04,809
Can I drive?
424
00:20:04,810 --> 00:20:07,049
I screamed, yes. I thought
we were gonna crash.
425
00:20:07,050 --> 00:20:08,209
We had heaps of room.
426
00:20:08,210 --> 00:20:10,009
I'll tell you one thing,
you are not driving home.
427
00:20:10,010 --> 00:20:11,010
Why?
428
00:20:15,010 --> 00:20:17,089
Why are you so
jumpy? I'm not jumpy!
429
00:20:17,090 --> 00:20:19,729
You are! Relax!
I'm not! I'm not!
430
00:20:19,730 --> 00:20:21,169
Hello, ladies.
431
00:20:21,170 --> 00:20:23,049
Hello, lady.
432
00:20:23,050 --> 00:20:24,850
How's school? Ask her.
433
00:20:27,530 --> 00:20:30,649
It's the single worst
decision I have ever made.
434
00:20:30,650 --> 00:20:34,410
Oh, come on. We both know you've
made much worse calls than that.
435
00:20:41,730 --> 00:20:43,809
TOMMY: Alice, do
you want ice-cream?
436
00:20:43,810 --> 00:20:45,369
ELLA: Nope, she doesn't.
437
00:20:45,370 --> 00:20:48,169
ALICE: Actually, I'd
love some. Thanks, Tommy.
438
00:20:48,170 --> 00:20:49,330
No worries.
439
00:20:50,730 --> 00:20:52,489
Why are you being
so nice to him?
440
00:20:52,490 --> 00:20:54,410
I don't know. He's cute.
441
00:20:55,690 --> 00:20:56,809
Fuck's sake, don't tell him.
442
00:20:56,810 --> 00:20:58,529
So... how's work?
443
00:20:58,530 --> 00:21:02,170
Oh, you know, same
shit, different bucket.
444
00:21:05,690 --> 00:21:07,769
They put me on advertorials.
445
00:21:07,770 --> 00:21:08,929
More wine, ladies?
446
00:21:08,930 --> 00:21:10,209
Yeah, it's pretty
painful. Yeah, ta.
447
00:21:10,210 --> 00:21:11,370
Yeah, just up to there.
448
00:21:15,450 --> 00:21:17,609
But, you know, the last one,
449
00:21:17,610 --> 00:21:19,969
very well received
by the higher ups.
450
00:21:19,970 --> 00:21:21,729
Only been out 24 hours
451
00:21:21,730 --> 00:21:25,329
and already got more traffic than
my last 12 articles combined.
452
00:21:25,330 --> 00:21:27,169
So...
453
00:21:27,170 --> 00:21:29,769
..still got a job, which
is, you know, nice.
454
00:21:29,770 --> 00:21:32,330
Just going to get the
wine that I left...
455
00:21:38,290 --> 00:21:40,370
Are you going to keep
this shit up all night?
456
00:21:42,210 --> 00:21:44,529
I am so...
457
00:21:44,530 --> 00:21:46,130
What's he done now?
458
00:21:47,290 --> 00:21:49,130
Actually, you know
what? Don't tell me.
459
00:21:49,930 --> 00:21:53,049
Whatever it is, just go give
him a spray and sort it out.
460
00:21:53,050 --> 00:21:54,770
Please, for my sake.
461
00:21:56,050 --> 00:21:58,009
That dinner was shit, mate.
462
00:21:58,010 --> 00:21:59,530
The kids had better banter.
463
00:22:18,130 --> 00:22:19,409
I don't know what to say.
464
00:22:19,410 --> 00:22:21,449
Don't say anything.
465
00:22:21,450 --> 00:22:24,050
I'm so sorry. Just
let's not... talk.
466
00:22:40,410 --> 00:22:41,769
I'm gonna talk.
I know you are.
467
00:22:41,770 --> 00:22:44,049
I am so sorry that
I made you do that.
468
00:22:44,050 --> 00:22:45,569
You didn't make me do anything.
469
00:22:45,570 --> 00:22:48,769
I just pulled out that
homeless old lady card.
470
00:22:48,770 --> 00:22:50,649
I mean, what sort of
arsehole does that?
471
00:22:50,650 --> 00:22:51,889
It was just that I was...
472
00:22:51,890 --> 00:22:54,410
..I was desperate, and I
wasn't thinking straight and...
473
00:22:56,050 --> 00:22:58,770
I just need you to tell me...
474
00:23:01,330 --> 00:23:02,730
..have I fucked it?
475
00:23:07,930 --> 00:23:10,490
'Cause I'd rather put Alice
in care than lose you.
476
00:23:15,970 --> 00:23:17,449
No-one would take Alice.
477
00:23:17,450 --> 00:23:19,770
(CHUCKLES)
478
00:23:24,810 --> 00:23:26,849
Leish caught me red-handed.
479
00:23:26,850 --> 00:23:28,129
Shit.
480
00:23:28,130 --> 00:23:30,610
She got... got a
hell of a shock.
481
00:23:33,890 --> 00:23:35,889
Don't worry she didn't see you.
No, I wasn't thinking that.
482
00:23:35,890 --> 00:23:37,289
You fucking were.
Yeah, I know. I was.
483
00:23:37,290 --> 00:23:38,330
Oh, God. Sorry.
484
00:23:39,810 --> 00:23:41,489
Anyway, worked out pretty well.
485
00:23:41,490 --> 00:23:42,610
How?!
486
00:23:44,530 --> 00:23:46,130
Well, I told her that, um...
487
00:23:47,850 --> 00:23:51,370
..I was thinking about her the whole
time and that I missed her and...
488
00:23:53,610 --> 00:23:55,849
I don't know if it was out of
489
00:23:55,850 --> 00:23:59,890
lust or pity or just
plain confusion, but...
490
00:24:01,530 --> 00:24:03,490
..she hasn't fucked
me like that in years.
491
00:24:07,530 --> 00:24:09,449
That's pretty beautiful.
492
00:24:09,450 --> 00:24:11,330
Yeah. Yeah, it was.
493
00:24:23,450 --> 00:24:24,770
I love you, mate.
494
00:24:26,930 --> 00:24:28,730
Yeah, yeah. I love you too.
495
00:24:31,050 --> 00:24:34,530
You do look pretty
handsome when you come.
496
00:24:35,610 --> 00:24:36,610
Do I?
497
00:24:37,610 --> 00:24:38,929
Nuh.
498
00:24:38,930 --> 00:24:41,569
Not even a little
bit. (CHUCKLES)
499
00:24:41,570 --> 00:24:43,370
(CHUCKLES)
500
00:24:46,010 --> 00:24:47,849
I closed my eyes
when you came. Ho!
501
00:24:47,850 --> 00:24:49,969
You didn't even see it.
502
00:24:49,970 --> 00:24:53,809
It would've made your world shake.
There I was going back and...
503
00:24:53,810 --> 00:24:56,809
(CONTINUE CHATTING INDISTINCTLY)
504
00:24:56,810 --> 00:25:00,690
(GENTLE MUSIC)
505
00:25:01,930 --> 00:25:09,930
♪ Ooh...
506
00:25:16,330 --> 00:25:24,330
♪ Only you
507
00:25:35,450 --> 00:25:40,009
♪ Only you... ♪
508
00:25:40,010 --> 00:25:43,410
Captions by Red Bee Media
(c) SBS Australia 202332691
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish (Latin American)
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof