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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:01:15,070 --> 00:01:16,990
This was how I always thought it would
be.
2
00:01:17,750 --> 00:01:20,130
Print charming, riding off into the
sunset.
3
00:01:20,650 --> 00:01:23,290
A storybook romance with a fairy tale
ending.
4
00:01:24,270 --> 00:01:25,350
Happily ever after.
5
00:01:25,810 --> 00:01:27,590
This was how it was supposed to be.
6
00:01:28,490 --> 00:01:29,770
Just like in the movies.
7
00:04:13,930 --> 00:04:14,930
Ugh.
8
00:08:15,530 --> 00:08:16,530
Oh.
9
00:15:14,410 --> 00:15:17,950
Of course, the unpacking and getting
settled into the new house was a bit
10
00:15:17,950 --> 00:15:18,950
stressful.
11
00:15:19,250 --> 00:15:21,370
If only we could afford a moving
company.
12
00:15:22,170 --> 00:15:24,150
Would have made life a whole lot easier.
13
00:15:24,950 --> 00:15:26,890
Well, my life anyway.
14
00:15:32,990 --> 00:15:35,690
Weddings can be far worse than birthdays
in some ways.
15
00:15:36,430 --> 00:15:39,810
You always seem to get gifts that you
aren't quite sure what to do with.
16
00:15:40,490 --> 00:15:42,110
You know exactly what I mean.
17
00:15:42,800 --> 00:15:46,800
The gifts that you can't throw out for
fear of hurting some distant relative's
18
00:15:46,800 --> 00:15:51,540
feelings, nor can you display it proudly
for fear of inciting a riot.
19
00:15:52,400 --> 00:15:54,040
Not an easy spot to be in.
20
00:15:54,680 --> 00:15:58,260
I imagine it would end up being re
-gifted for some future event.
21
00:15:59,520 --> 00:16:00,520
Anonymously, of course.
22
00:16:01,240 --> 00:16:05,160
But if trying to decide the right time
to re -gift that horrid item was the
23
00:16:05,160 --> 00:16:08,640
worst of our worries, then we would have
nothing to worry about.
24
00:16:10,040 --> 00:16:11,600
All was right in the world.
25
00:16:12,330 --> 00:16:15,290
We were, after all, in love.
26
00:16:34,410 --> 00:16:35,750
Honey, I'm home!
27
00:16:39,290 --> 00:16:41,410
Then I saw it.
28
00:16:42,160 --> 00:16:43,160
The bra.
29
00:16:43,480 --> 00:16:45,800
The one that wasn't mine.
30
00:16:46,440 --> 00:16:50,320
That life -altering moment in time that
every woman dreads.
31
00:16:53,700 --> 00:16:55,480
Several things raced through my head.
32
00:16:55,880 --> 00:16:58,000
Many ways to rationalize this one.
33
00:16:58,560 --> 00:17:01,640
I'm sure there was a logical explanation
after all.
34
00:17:02,500 --> 00:17:06,460
Maybe he was a closet cross -dresser. Oh
my God, could that be it?
35
00:17:07,180 --> 00:17:08,800
I was ready to accept it.
36
00:17:09,200 --> 00:17:12,740
Already planning the shopping sprees we
could take together and think of the
37
00:17:12,740 --> 00:17:14,220
money we would save on clothes.
38
00:17:14,900 --> 00:17:15,920
Sharing a wardrobe.
39
00:17:16,400 --> 00:17:18,220
Okay, I can live with this.
40
00:17:27,359 --> 00:17:28,359
What was this?
41
00:17:28,660 --> 00:17:34,120
What the hell is he doing? Why was that
girl squatting in front of him? And why
42
00:17:34,120 --> 00:17:35,120
was she naked?
43
00:17:35,340 --> 00:17:37,560
And why did he have that?
44
00:17:37,930 --> 00:17:39,530
Stupid smile on his face.
45
00:20:20,110 --> 00:20:21,110
Then it hit me.
46
00:20:21,330 --> 00:20:23,550
He wasn't a cross -dresser at all.
47
00:20:27,110 --> 00:20:28,110
Listen,
48
00:20:33,310 --> 00:20:34,330
baby, don't do anything rash.
49
00:20:35,930 --> 00:20:37,610
I mean, it was just a blowjob.
50
00:20:38,250 --> 00:20:41,090
Think about it. Nothing worse than
shaking hands.
51
00:20:42,490 --> 00:20:43,490
Shaking hands?
52
00:20:43,750 --> 00:20:48,190
Hmm. I'll remember that the next time
I've got my lips wrapped around some
53
00:20:48,190 --> 00:20:49,159
guy's cock.
54
00:20:49,160 --> 00:20:52,780
I'll be sure to let him know how pleased
I am to make his acquaintance.
55
00:20:58,800 --> 00:20:59,800
Baby.
56
00:21:05,220 --> 00:21:08,980
And with that, I was out the door and
out of that fairy tale for good.
57
00:21:09,460 --> 00:21:14,400
So like all young men and women looking
to start over and chase a dream, I set
58
00:21:14,400 --> 00:21:17,900
out looking for my own rainbow and
hopefully find a pot of gold.
59
00:21:19,280 --> 00:21:24,420
I must have taken a wrong turn at
Albuquerque, because I somehow ended up
60
00:21:24,420 --> 00:21:25,420
Angeles.
61
00:21:26,940 --> 00:21:28,220
Could be worse, I guess.
62
00:21:28,860 --> 00:21:33,440
California was, after all, the land of
sunny beaches, movie stars, swimming
63
00:21:33,440 --> 00:21:38,340
pools, and, oh yeah, an overabundant
supply of waitresses.
64
00:21:38,860 --> 00:21:40,180
This was going to be good.
65
00:21:46,660 --> 00:21:47,660
Step one.
66
00:21:48,060 --> 00:21:49,320
Find a place to live.
67
00:22:01,640 --> 00:22:03,240
Her name was Petal.
68
00:22:03,540 --> 00:22:06,500
I could tell that L .A. would take some
getting used to.
69
00:22:09,040 --> 00:22:10,560
So where'd you say you're from again?
70
00:22:12,860 --> 00:22:14,620
Oh, Beaufort, Georgia.
71
00:22:15,060 --> 00:22:16,320
Aw, that's cute.
72
00:22:17,840 --> 00:22:19,060
I love that accent.
73
00:22:20,760 --> 00:22:21,760
So it's like this.
74
00:22:22,180 --> 00:22:25,280
Just my boyfriend and I live here, so
you'll have free run of the house.
75
00:22:25,980 --> 00:22:30,060
And we don't ask much. Just let you in,
pay your rent on time, and keep the
76
00:22:30,060 --> 00:22:31,019
guests your minimum.
77
00:22:31,020 --> 00:22:32,020
Sure thing, darling.
78
00:22:32,780 --> 00:22:36,800
I won't be much trouble at all, I
promise. It'll be like I'm not even
79
00:22:37,560 --> 00:22:41,780
Cool. We're pretty laid back ourselves,
you know, girly bed and all that.
80
00:22:48,970 --> 00:22:49,970
This is Jimmy.
81
00:22:56,550 --> 00:22:59,010
Let's do this with a hug.
82
00:23:07,750 --> 00:23:10,290
I should have smelled trouble right then
and there.
83
00:23:10,610 --> 00:23:14,470
But I guess it was the lingering odor
that followed him from the bathroom that
84
00:23:14,470 --> 00:23:15,470
confused me.
85
00:23:15,890 --> 00:23:18,190
I signed the lease 30 seconds later.
86
00:23:27,180 --> 00:23:30,700
It was obvious from the start that my
nights weren't going to be peaceful.
87
00:23:31,100 --> 00:23:36,120
I don't think that Petal and Jimmy had
any concept of discretion or manners,
88
00:23:36,120 --> 00:23:38,120
they certainly weren't what I would call
quiet.
89
00:23:38,360 --> 00:23:42,160
They were both in their own world of,
well, you know, sex.
90
00:23:42,600 --> 00:23:45,720
God only knows what kind of kinky games
they were up to.
91
00:23:46,260 --> 00:23:49,060
I'm going to ride you like a quarter
horse, Jimmy.
92
00:23:49,920 --> 00:23:50,920
Yeah.
93
00:23:53,900 --> 00:23:56,040
Let's go down there and suck on my
shotgun.
94
00:23:57,570 --> 00:23:58,670
Get down there.
95
00:23:59,590 --> 00:24:01,650
You'd be a good little southern belle.
96
00:24:01,970 --> 00:24:04,230
Look. Let me see what you got.
97
00:24:59,790 --> 00:25:01,430
I got under here, Cowboys.
98
00:25:01,850 --> 00:25:03,630
Show me where the real George Pitcher
is.
99
00:25:04,750 --> 00:25:06,070
How about to George?
100
00:25:35,570 --> 00:25:36,570
Suck it.
101
00:25:38,190 --> 00:25:40,290
Be a good little southern belle.
Pleasure, man.
102
00:26:35,860 --> 00:26:37,800
Yeah, that's the way you do it.
103
00:26:39,240 --> 00:26:40,780
Petal, you're a dirty little whore.
104
00:26:41,300 --> 00:26:43,100
Call me a little Georgia penis.
105
00:26:44,920 --> 00:26:47,220
Call you a little Georgia slut?
106
00:26:47,620 --> 00:26:48,900
A little southern slut?
107
00:26:49,500 --> 00:26:50,720
Yeah, you don't know that.
108
00:28:06,510 --> 00:28:09,570
I'm gonna ride my fucking car. I'm gonna
ride my speed.
109
00:30:56,140 --> 00:30:57,300
I'm gonna protect you from the south.
110
00:30:57,940 --> 00:30:59,000
I'm gonna protect myself.
111
00:38:17,770 --> 00:38:18,950
Now, I know what you are thinking.
112
00:38:19,410 --> 00:38:20,670
Kind of hypocritical.
113
00:38:20,970 --> 00:38:24,750
Here I am complaining about the noise,
and next thing you know, I'm diddling
114
00:38:24,750 --> 00:38:25,750
myself.
115
00:38:25,870 --> 00:38:27,770
But I figure, can't beat them.
116
00:38:28,110 --> 00:38:29,110
Join them, right?
117
00:38:29,610 --> 00:38:31,490
Okay, I'll go to sleep now.
118
00:38:32,010 --> 00:38:33,010
Good night.
119
00:38:51,050 --> 00:38:52,050
Good morning.
120
00:38:53,330 --> 00:38:54,330
Sleep well?
121
00:38:55,030 --> 00:38:59,570
Well, actually, I think I'll find this
to be a pretty quiet neighborhood.
122
00:39:00,550 --> 00:39:01,550
Sure.
123
00:39:01,870 --> 00:39:02,870
Morning,
124
00:39:04,210 --> 00:39:05,210
Carmen. Sleep well?
125
00:39:05,910 --> 00:39:08,990
Well, I mean... Good, because me, I
slept fucking great.
126
00:39:11,670 --> 00:39:13,930
So, what's on the agenda for today?
127
00:39:14,530 --> 00:39:19,090
Well, I'm looking in the classifieds. I
really need a job, and...
128
00:39:19,440 --> 00:39:21,380
I guess I'm going to just follow a few
leads.
129
00:39:21,780 --> 00:39:22,780
What do you do?
130
00:39:23,240 --> 00:39:24,240
You know, job skills.
131
00:39:25,660 --> 00:39:26,800
Tell me you're not an actress.
132
00:39:27,140 --> 00:39:29,940
But if you are, I can point you to a
couple good restaurants and bars where
133
00:39:29,940 --> 00:39:31,780
can wait in line to be a waitress.
134
00:39:32,180 --> 00:39:33,180
No, no, no, no.
135
00:39:33,240 --> 00:39:34,560
I'm not an actress.
136
00:39:35,000 --> 00:39:39,640
I'm thinking something about like a
secretarial job or some office work.
137
00:39:40,280 --> 00:39:42,480
Oh, maybe Jimmy could help you.
138
00:39:42,760 --> 00:39:45,580
Really? Any help would be greatly
appreciated.
139
00:39:46,080 --> 00:39:48,660
Yeah, he works for the, let's just say,
140
00:39:49,400 --> 00:39:54,140
An independent filmmaker, one of the
best in town. Oh, how exciting!
141
00:39:54,560 --> 00:39:55,880
Do you think he can help?
142
00:39:56,480 --> 00:39:57,480
Yeah, yeah, sure.
143
00:39:58,140 --> 00:40:02,740
You know, I rolled into town on fumes,
I'm low on cash, a job would be great
144
00:40:02,740 --> 00:40:03,740
right now.
145
00:40:07,340 --> 00:40:09,320
So what kind of movies does he make?
146
00:40:10,220 --> 00:40:11,860
Okay, folks, okay?
147
00:40:12,680 --> 00:40:16,220
Let y 'all get together on this one,
we're running a little bit late here.
148
00:40:16,700 --> 00:40:20,540
But we're going to get an awesome scene
out of this one, okay? We got Manuel and
149
00:40:20,540 --> 00:40:22,980
Tiffany. They're two trained
professionals.
150
00:40:23,680 --> 00:40:26,440
Tiffany's already a veteran. She's been
here seven days.
151
00:40:26,780 --> 00:40:32,340
So, the mood I'm looking for here,
Fran... Only my second day in Los
152
00:40:32,460 --> 00:40:33,460
and I was employed.
153
00:40:33,780 --> 00:40:38,600
As the second assistant to the assistant
producer, it was my responsibility to
154
00:40:38,600 --> 00:40:43,300
provide the necessary hygiene products
to the town. I think if you go with the
155
00:40:43,300 --> 00:40:47,950
motto of the dick doesn't suck itself...
That should inspire enough, okay?
156
00:40:48,230 --> 00:40:52,570
Not exactly what I had in mind, but
Jimmy explained to me that here in the
157
00:40:52,570 --> 00:40:55,150
Valley, it was steady work. I'll take
it.
158
00:40:55,970 --> 00:41:02,010
Maybe a little banter, a little hugging,
and then maybe something, I don't know,
159
00:41:02,050 --> 00:41:03,450
soft kisses, okay?
160
00:41:04,780 --> 00:41:09,440
I guess we're going to go ahead and
start from the bed and just move into
161
00:41:09,440 --> 00:41:13,760
finger banging. That seems good. Okay,
now remember I want to play a reaction
162
00:41:13,760 --> 00:41:16,440
shot, okay? I want to see some faces.
163
00:41:16,800 --> 00:41:21,080
And if they need anything, honey, you
need to be on the spot on this thing,
164
00:41:21,220 --> 00:41:24,460
okay? Okay, ready? Here we go, people.
Let's roll this thing up.
165
00:41:26,440 --> 00:41:30,120
And with that, the two tore into each
other like crazed animals.
166
00:41:30,380 --> 00:41:32,020
I was no prude, mind you.
167
00:41:32,380 --> 00:41:36,740
But I wasn't exactly used to seeing
people have sex right in front of me. I
168
00:41:36,740 --> 00:41:41,320
wanting to close a door or throw a
curtain, something to give them a little
169
00:41:41,320 --> 00:41:42,320
privacy.
170
00:42:55,020 --> 00:42:59,500
ex -pool boy, now Navy SEAL. Your
husband could be coming. You're thinking
171
00:42:59,500 --> 00:43:05,120
yourself, do I resist or do I go tip to
root on his nutsack?
172
00:43:05,700 --> 00:43:09,340
That's the expression. Oh, that's what
I'm talking about.
173
00:43:14,140 --> 00:43:20,020
Now, honey, your motivation here is that
you're drowning and his balls contain
174
00:43:20,020 --> 00:43:22,100
oxygen. Suck that cock.
175
00:43:39,370 --> 00:43:41,850
It's what's going to get me the next big
award show.
176
00:43:42,870 --> 00:43:47,210
I'm going to be sitting there going, I'd
like to thank Tiffany and her. Go, go,
177
00:43:47,250 --> 00:43:48,250
go, go.
178
00:44:17,130 --> 00:44:20,830
Woman looks like a squirrel with nuts in
her. Look it, she's storing it for the
179
00:44:20,830 --> 00:44:23,890
winter here. You're like a chipmunk.
Look it.
180
00:55:56,300 --> 00:55:57,300
You're great.
181
00:55:57,480 --> 00:56:00,780
You idiot. Wipe the face. Come on, huh?
182
00:56:01,480 --> 00:56:05,920
Jesus. I can't eat no deli sandwich with
the goddamn baby batter.
183
00:56:06,480 --> 00:56:07,459
Take it.
184
00:56:07,460 --> 00:56:09,140
She's not a trash can, honey.
185
00:56:09,440 --> 00:56:10,440
Can I have some, please?
186
00:56:11,460 --> 00:56:13,700
All right, Jesus. Well, I'm sorry.
187
00:56:13,960 --> 00:56:17,080
It's okay, man. Yeah, I mean... Oh,
Jesus.
188
00:56:17,500 --> 00:56:19,040
Okay, people.
189
00:56:19,420 --> 00:56:21,300
Let's wrap it up. Let's have some lunch.
190
00:56:21,860 --> 00:56:22,860
Lunch?
191
00:56:23,140 --> 00:56:27,120
Not sure I would be thinking about lunch
with my face covered in man juice.
192
00:56:27,600 --> 00:56:31,880
Yep, Los Angeles was going to take some
getting used to. What's up, Carmen?
193
00:56:32,180 --> 00:56:34,000
Hey. What, you not hungry?
194
00:56:34,780 --> 00:56:37,600
No, not much of an appetite at the
moment.
195
00:56:38,520 --> 00:56:39,520
Too bad.
196
00:56:39,960 --> 00:56:40,960
Good stuff.
197
00:56:42,460 --> 00:56:45,300
You think catering's pretty shitty, but
this stuff?
198
00:56:53,800 --> 00:56:54,800
I'll catch up to you later.
199
00:56:55,060 --> 00:56:56,060
Okay.
200
00:56:56,880 --> 00:57:00,340
It wasn't that bad, actually.
201
00:57:00,620 --> 00:57:05,980
Once you got used to the scenery and
everyone was really nice and friendly,
202
00:57:05,980 --> 00:57:07,300
lingo had me lost, though.
203
00:57:07,620 --> 00:57:10,280
I learned whole new meanings for
everyday phrases.
204
00:57:10,680 --> 00:57:14,660
I learned to be careful when asking for
an ATM or a facial.
205
00:57:15,180 --> 00:57:18,700
Even learned that a DP had nothing to do
with directing photography.
206
00:57:20,600 --> 00:57:22,340
You must be new.
207
00:57:24,759 --> 00:57:26,260
Yeah, that I am.
208
00:57:27,160 --> 00:57:28,160
I'm Carmen.
209
00:57:28,980 --> 00:57:29,980
Lance.
210
00:57:30,240 --> 00:57:31,240
Lance Rock.
211
00:57:32,380 --> 00:57:33,660
Nice to meet you, Lance.
212
00:57:35,420 --> 00:57:40,140
You know, it might be a smart move for
your career if you were to work with me.
213
00:57:41,080 --> 00:57:42,080
Really?
214
00:57:43,340 --> 00:57:44,340
Of course.
215
00:57:45,400 --> 00:57:49,420
Well, I'm not sure why you would want to
work with me, but I could definitely
216
00:57:49,420 --> 00:57:50,420
use the help.
217
00:57:50,780 --> 00:57:51,780
Yeah.
218
00:57:52,000 --> 00:57:53,320
You like cowgirl?
219
00:57:55,100 --> 00:58:01,240
Well, I don't write as much as I used
to, but I try to get some in every once
220
00:58:01,240 --> 00:58:02,240
a while.
221
00:58:03,140 --> 00:58:05,420
Oh, that's a joke. Lance gets it.
222
00:58:06,240 --> 00:58:07,240
You're funny.
223
00:58:07,440 --> 00:58:10,460
Yeah, you like standing scissors?
224
00:58:11,400 --> 00:58:18,240
Well, I'm not much into yoga and stuff
like that, but I'll try anything once,
225
00:58:18,280 --> 00:58:19,280
I guess.
226
00:58:22,890 --> 00:58:25,070
That's not a joke. I'll answer it.
You're priceless.
227
00:58:25,310 --> 00:58:26,310
You're priceless.
228
00:58:26,470 --> 00:58:27,470
We'll rock together.
229
00:58:27,630 --> 00:58:28,630
We'll electrify him.
230
00:58:32,630 --> 00:58:33,630
Okay.
231
00:58:33,890 --> 00:58:34,890
Lance, you're up next.
232
00:58:35,250 --> 00:58:39,430
That thing better be hard enough to
drive a KS -52 2x4 before the time of
233
00:58:39,430 --> 00:58:40,970
election. Copy that.
234
00:58:41,750 --> 00:58:43,090
Hey, baby, I gotta go to work.
235
00:58:44,270 --> 00:58:48,650
So let's say after work you and I get
together and we can party, have a few
236
00:58:48,650 --> 00:58:51,550
drinks, and then go home and practice
some anal, huh?
237
00:58:51,880 --> 00:58:52,880
Always good to practice.
238
00:58:53,100 --> 00:58:54,100
I'm gonna go.
239
00:58:55,020 --> 00:58:56,020
Later.
240
00:58:56,360 --> 00:58:57,360
I'm coming!
241
00:59:02,440 --> 00:59:03,880
Now I know what you are thinking.
242
00:59:04,280 --> 00:59:05,600
Dumb little southern girl.
243
00:59:05,800 --> 00:59:11,040
But hey, this was a whole new world for
me. And with a language all its own. My
244
00:59:11,040 --> 00:59:12,680
porno speak was still a bit rusty.
245
00:59:15,040 --> 00:59:19,700
Then it hit me like a, well, like a rock
hard cock right upside my face.
246
00:59:20,280 --> 00:59:23,400
Now I knew what he meant by wanting to
work with me.
247
00:59:23,760 --> 00:59:25,440
Another lesson in porno speak.
248
00:59:26,120 --> 00:59:28,460
Work translated as to fuck.
249
00:59:30,600 --> 00:59:32,260
Now my head was spinning.
250
00:59:32,620 --> 00:59:35,280
This was all moving a bit too fast, I
guess.
251
00:59:35,700 --> 00:59:40,340
Only two days in the valley and already
I was giving second thoughts to trading
252
00:59:40,340 --> 00:59:44,080
in my cowboy boots for a new pair of
clear plastic stripper shoes.
253
00:59:44,620 --> 00:59:46,580
I'd have to think this one through a
bit.
254
00:59:48,609 --> 00:59:53,670
Then I saw Jimmy, a camera in one hand
and the back of some girl's head in the
255
00:59:53,670 --> 00:59:54,950
other. Hey, Carmen, what's up?
256
00:59:56,450 --> 00:59:57,450
Jimmy?
257
00:59:58,370 --> 01:00:00,350
Yeah, this is my friend Wendy Love.
Wendy?
258
01:00:01,010 --> 01:00:02,010
Carmen.
259
01:00:02,390 --> 01:00:03,390
Hi.
260
01:00:05,930 --> 01:00:06,930
Hey,
261
01:00:07,650 --> 01:00:08,650
Carmen, you want to do me a favor?
262
01:00:09,950 --> 01:00:14,170
Sure. I'm shooting my new POV line, and
shit, I could really appreciate it if
263
01:00:14,170 --> 01:00:15,690
you could hold the camera while I get
some rhythm going.
264
01:00:15,930 --> 01:00:17,070
Oh, okay.
265
01:00:19,550 --> 01:00:22,150
Thanks. Make sure you stay on all the
action right here.
266
01:00:23,050 --> 01:00:26,530
Now this was simply two months.
267
01:00:27,110 --> 01:00:30,310
End of day two in the valley, and now
I'm a pornographer.
268
01:00:30,850 --> 01:00:34,810
Yep, Los Angeles was going to take a lot
of getting used to.
269
01:00:35,870 --> 01:00:40,450
And what is it about guys and blowjobs?
I was beginning to think that my ex was
270
01:00:40,450 --> 01:00:43,390
right. Getting your dick sucked was like
shaking hands.
271
01:00:43,810 --> 01:00:47,370
I was going to have to start rethinking
everything I had learned in charm
272
01:00:47,370 --> 01:00:48,370
school.
273
01:01:56,360 --> 01:01:57,319
How am I doing, okay?
274
01:01:57,320 --> 01:01:58,860
You're doing pretty good. She keeps up.
275
01:03:37,520 --> 01:03:38,520
just providing more space.
276
01:04:52,270 --> 01:04:53,270
Pretty good.
277
01:04:54,350 --> 01:04:55,390
Was it a bad interview?
278
01:04:55,750 --> 01:04:56,750
It was a great one.
279
01:04:57,690 --> 01:04:58,690
Cut.
280
01:05:02,750 --> 01:05:05,270
Jimmy, direct coach will see you right
away. We got problems.
281
01:05:05,630 --> 01:05:06,630
On set, hurry.
282
01:05:10,150 --> 01:05:11,150
Damn it.
283
01:05:16,550 --> 01:05:17,550
What?
284
01:05:18,050 --> 01:05:20,450
Yeah, yeah, Jimmy. God damn, where have
you been? Listen.
285
01:05:20,880 --> 01:05:22,340
We have got a problem, okay?
286
01:05:23,360 --> 01:05:27,880
That replacement, that great star that
you decided to give me, yeah, she didn't
287
01:05:27,880 --> 01:05:28,880
show up, okay?
288
01:05:28,920 --> 01:05:29,738
Oh, man.
289
01:05:29,740 --> 01:05:31,200
We got a no -show situation.
290
01:05:31,940 --> 01:05:33,600
We are on DEFCON 5.
291
01:05:34,020 --> 01:05:35,240
You better do something.
292
01:05:35,600 --> 01:05:37,380
She was already a last -minute
replacement.
293
01:05:37,900 --> 01:05:42,420
That 100 -person Evan Stone reverse
gangbang's being shot down. There is no
294
01:05:42,420 --> 01:05:43,399
other girl, man.
295
01:05:43,400 --> 01:05:44,400
There's no more.
296
01:05:44,620 --> 01:05:45,900
Gone. Zero.
297
01:05:46,220 --> 01:05:49,840
Okay, listen here. What we got is a
failure to communicate, okay?
298
01:05:50,680 --> 01:05:55,120
We need a female here. So unless, of
course, you want to put on makeup and
299
01:05:55,120 --> 01:05:56,800
heels, you better think of something.
300
01:05:57,060 --> 01:05:58,060
Okay?
301
01:05:58,520 --> 01:06:00,580
Two tits, a hole, and a heartbeat.
That's all I need.
302
01:06:48,140 --> 01:06:49,280
Moment of truth.
303
01:06:50,040 --> 01:06:53,300
I'd have to admit that I was certainly
intrigued by the idea.
304
01:06:53,820 --> 01:06:55,620
Like I said, I was no prude.
305
01:06:55,880 --> 01:06:58,880
But then again, this would be a bold
step for me.
306
01:06:59,600 --> 01:07:03,520
Remembering how my ex Eric had cheated
on me kind of gave me the feeling that I
307
01:07:03,520 --> 01:07:07,780
should jump in with both feet and enjoy
the experience just out of spite.
308
01:07:09,660 --> 01:07:13,840
Didn't think that my trip to California
would end up with me acting in an adult
309
01:07:13,840 --> 01:07:14,840
movie.
310
01:07:14,990 --> 01:07:18,670
But then again, how often do things
really happen the way we plan?
311
01:07:19,790 --> 01:07:26,610
What we're looking here is some kind of,
um... I want to see a reaction
312
01:07:26,610 --> 01:07:33,610
in your face that, you know, says, I've
come back from the war, I
313
01:07:33,610 --> 01:07:37,270
haven't seen you in a long time, but the
dick ain't gonna suck itself.
314
01:07:38,210 --> 01:07:40,550
You know, something of a love story.
315
01:07:41,870 --> 01:07:42,870
This was it.
316
01:07:43,210 --> 01:07:44,630
Put up or shut up time.
317
01:07:45,030 --> 01:07:46,410
Jump in or run away.
318
01:07:49,070 --> 01:07:50,070
Then it hit me.
319
01:07:50,730 --> 01:07:52,410
It's no more than a handshake.
320
01:12:23,340 --> 01:12:24,840
That's it. Spit on Lance's duck.
321
01:12:25,720 --> 01:12:27,000
Light throat, light stomach.
322
01:22:04,620 --> 01:22:08,720
As you can see, my life wasn't going to
work out exactly how I had planned in
323
01:22:08,720 --> 01:22:11,720
the beginning, but I was determined to
make it.
324
01:22:12,180 --> 01:22:17,080
I was learning that life happens and you
either run away and hide or take every
325
01:22:17,080 --> 01:22:18,780
opportunity that presents itself.
326
01:22:19,180 --> 01:22:20,180
You never know.
327
01:22:20,640 --> 01:22:23,000
I might even decide to become a porn
star.
24263
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