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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:15,070 --> 00:01:16,990 This was how I always thought it would be. 2 00:01:17,750 --> 00:01:20,130 Print charming, riding off into the sunset. 3 00:01:20,650 --> 00:01:23,290 A storybook romance with a fairy tale ending. 4 00:01:24,270 --> 00:01:25,350 Happily ever after. 5 00:01:25,810 --> 00:01:27,590 This was how it was supposed to be. 6 00:01:28,490 --> 00:01:29,770 Just like in the movies. 7 00:04:13,930 --> 00:04:14,930 Ugh. 8 00:08:15,530 --> 00:08:16,530 Oh. 9 00:15:14,410 --> 00:15:17,950 Of course, the unpacking and getting settled into the new house was a bit 10 00:15:17,950 --> 00:15:18,950 stressful. 11 00:15:19,250 --> 00:15:21,370 If only we could afford a moving company. 12 00:15:22,170 --> 00:15:24,150 Would have made life a whole lot easier. 13 00:15:24,950 --> 00:15:26,890 Well, my life anyway. 14 00:15:32,990 --> 00:15:35,690 Weddings can be far worse than birthdays in some ways. 15 00:15:36,430 --> 00:15:39,810 You always seem to get gifts that you aren't quite sure what to do with. 16 00:15:40,490 --> 00:15:42,110 You know exactly what I mean. 17 00:15:42,800 --> 00:15:46,800 The gifts that you can't throw out for fear of hurting some distant relative's 18 00:15:46,800 --> 00:15:51,540 feelings, nor can you display it proudly for fear of inciting a riot. 19 00:15:52,400 --> 00:15:54,040 Not an easy spot to be in. 20 00:15:54,680 --> 00:15:58,260 I imagine it would end up being re -gifted for some future event. 21 00:15:59,520 --> 00:16:00,520 Anonymously, of course. 22 00:16:01,240 --> 00:16:05,160 But if trying to decide the right time to re -gift that horrid item was the 23 00:16:05,160 --> 00:16:08,640 worst of our worries, then we would have nothing to worry about. 24 00:16:10,040 --> 00:16:11,600 All was right in the world. 25 00:16:12,330 --> 00:16:15,290 We were, after all, in love. 26 00:16:34,410 --> 00:16:35,750 Honey, I'm home! 27 00:16:39,290 --> 00:16:41,410 Then I saw it. 28 00:16:42,160 --> 00:16:43,160 The bra. 29 00:16:43,480 --> 00:16:45,800 The one that wasn't mine. 30 00:16:46,440 --> 00:16:50,320 That life -altering moment in time that every woman dreads. 31 00:16:53,700 --> 00:16:55,480 Several things raced through my head. 32 00:16:55,880 --> 00:16:58,000 Many ways to rationalize this one. 33 00:16:58,560 --> 00:17:01,640 I'm sure there was a logical explanation after all. 34 00:17:02,500 --> 00:17:06,460 Maybe he was a closet cross -dresser. Oh my God, could that be it? 35 00:17:07,180 --> 00:17:08,800 I was ready to accept it. 36 00:17:09,200 --> 00:17:12,740 Already planning the shopping sprees we could take together and think of the 37 00:17:12,740 --> 00:17:14,220 money we would save on clothes. 38 00:17:14,900 --> 00:17:15,920 Sharing a wardrobe. 39 00:17:16,400 --> 00:17:18,220 Okay, I can live with this. 40 00:17:27,359 --> 00:17:28,359 What was this? 41 00:17:28,660 --> 00:17:34,120 What the hell is he doing? Why was that girl squatting in front of him? And why 42 00:17:34,120 --> 00:17:35,120 was she naked? 43 00:17:35,340 --> 00:17:37,560 And why did he have that? 44 00:17:37,930 --> 00:17:39,530 Stupid smile on his face. 45 00:20:20,110 --> 00:20:21,110 Then it hit me. 46 00:20:21,330 --> 00:20:23,550 He wasn't a cross -dresser at all. 47 00:20:27,110 --> 00:20:28,110 Listen, 48 00:20:33,310 --> 00:20:34,330 baby, don't do anything rash. 49 00:20:35,930 --> 00:20:37,610 I mean, it was just a blowjob. 50 00:20:38,250 --> 00:20:41,090 Think about it. Nothing worse than shaking hands. 51 00:20:42,490 --> 00:20:43,490 Shaking hands? 52 00:20:43,750 --> 00:20:48,190 Hmm. I'll remember that the next time I've got my lips wrapped around some 53 00:20:48,190 --> 00:20:49,159 guy's cock. 54 00:20:49,160 --> 00:20:52,780 I'll be sure to let him know how pleased I am to make his acquaintance. 55 00:20:58,800 --> 00:20:59,800 Baby. 56 00:21:05,220 --> 00:21:08,980 And with that, I was out the door and out of that fairy tale for good. 57 00:21:09,460 --> 00:21:14,400 So like all young men and women looking to start over and chase a dream, I set 58 00:21:14,400 --> 00:21:17,900 out looking for my own rainbow and hopefully find a pot of gold. 59 00:21:19,280 --> 00:21:24,420 I must have taken a wrong turn at Albuquerque, because I somehow ended up 60 00:21:24,420 --> 00:21:25,420 Angeles. 61 00:21:26,940 --> 00:21:28,220 Could be worse, I guess. 62 00:21:28,860 --> 00:21:33,440 California was, after all, the land of sunny beaches, movie stars, swimming 63 00:21:33,440 --> 00:21:38,340 pools, and, oh yeah, an overabundant supply of waitresses. 64 00:21:38,860 --> 00:21:40,180 This was going to be good. 65 00:21:46,660 --> 00:21:47,660 Step one. 66 00:21:48,060 --> 00:21:49,320 Find a place to live. 67 00:22:01,640 --> 00:22:03,240 Her name was Petal. 68 00:22:03,540 --> 00:22:06,500 I could tell that L .A. would take some getting used to. 69 00:22:09,040 --> 00:22:10,560 So where'd you say you're from again? 70 00:22:12,860 --> 00:22:14,620 Oh, Beaufort, Georgia. 71 00:22:15,060 --> 00:22:16,320 Aw, that's cute. 72 00:22:17,840 --> 00:22:19,060 I love that accent. 73 00:22:20,760 --> 00:22:21,760 So it's like this. 74 00:22:22,180 --> 00:22:25,280 Just my boyfriend and I live here, so you'll have free run of the house. 75 00:22:25,980 --> 00:22:30,060 And we don't ask much. Just let you in, pay your rent on time, and keep the 76 00:22:30,060 --> 00:22:31,019 guests your minimum. 77 00:22:31,020 --> 00:22:32,020 Sure thing, darling. 78 00:22:32,780 --> 00:22:36,800 I won't be much trouble at all, I promise. It'll be like I'm not even 79 00:22:37,560 --> 00:22:41,780 Cool. We're pretty laid back ourselves, you know, girly bed and all that. 80 00:22:48,970 --> 00:22:49,970 This is Jimmy. 81 00:22:56,550 --> 00:22:59,010 Let's do this with a hug. 82 00:23:07,750 --> 00:23:10,290 I should have smelled trouble right then and there. 83 00:23:10,610 --> 00:23:14,470 But I guess it was the lingering odor that followed him from the bathroom that 84 00:23:14,470 --> 00:23:15,470 confused me. 85 00:23:15,890 --> 00:23:18,190 I signed the lease 30 seconds later. 86 00:23:27,180 --> 00:23:30,700 It was obvious from the start that my nights weren't going to be peaceful. 87 00:23:31,100 --> 00:23:36,120 I don't think that Petal and Jimmy had any concept of discretion or manners, 88 00:23:36,120 --> 00:23:38,120 they certainly weren't what I would call quiet. 89 00:23:38,360 --> 00:23:42,160 They were both in their own world of, well, you know, sex. 90 00:23:42,600 --> 00:23:45,720 God only knows what kind of kinky games they were up to. 91 00:23:46,260 --> 00:23:49,060 I'm going to ride you like a quarter horse, Jimmy. 92 00:23:49,920 --> 00:23:50,920 Yeah. 93 00:23:53,900 --> 00:23:56,040 Let's go down there and suck on my shotgun. 94 00:23:57,570 --> 00:23:58,670 Get down there. 95 00:23:59,590 --> 00:24:01,650 You'd be a good little southern belle. 96 00:24:01,970 --> 00:24:04,230 Look. Let me see what you got. 97 00:24:59,790 --> 00:25:01,430 I got under here, Cowboys. 98 00:25:01,850 --> 00:25:03,630 Show me where the real George Pitcher is. 99 00:25:04,750 --> 00:25:06,070 How about to George? 100 00:25:35,570 --> 00:25:36,570 Suck it. 101 00:25:38,190 --> 00:25:40,290 Be a good little southern belle. Pleasure, man. 102 00:26:35,860 --> 00:26:37,800 Yeah, that's the way you do it. 103 00:26:39,240 --> 00:26:40,780 Petal, you're a dirty little whore. 104 00:26:41,300 --> 00:26:43,100 Call me a little Georgia penis. 105 00:26:44,920 --> 00:26:47,220 Call you a little Georgia slut? 106 00:26:47,620 --> 00:26:48,900 A little southern slut? 107 00:26:49,500 --> 00:26:50,720 Yeah, you don't know that. 108 00:28:06,510 --> 00:28:09,570 I'm gonna ride my fucking car. I'm gonna ride my speed. 109 00:30:56,140 --> 00:30:57,300 I'm gonna protect you from the south. 110 00:30:57,940 --> 00:30:59,000 I'm gonna protect myself. 111 00:38:17,770 --> 00:38:18,950 Now, I know what you are thinking. 112 00:38:19,410 --> 00:38:20,670 Kind of hypocritical. 113 00:38:20,970 --> 00:38:24,750 Here I am complaining about the noise, and next thing you know, I'm diddling 114 00:38:24,750 --> 00:38:25,750 myself. 115 00:38:25,870 --> 00:38:27,770 But I figure, can't beat them. 116 00:38:28,110 --> 00:38:29,110 Join them, right? 117 00:38:29,610 --> 00:38:31,490 Okay, I'll go to sleep now. 118 00:38:32,010 --> 00:38:33,010 Good night. 119 00:38:51,050 --> 00:38:52,050 Good morning. 120 00:38:53,330 --> 00:38:54,330 Sleep well? 121 00:38:55,030 --> 00:38:59,570 Well, actually, I think I'll find this to be a pretty quiet neighborhood. 122 00:39:00,550 --> 00:39:01,550 Sure. 123 00:39:01,870 --> 00:39:02,870 Morning, 124 00:39:04,210 --> 00:39:05,210 Carmen. Sleep well? 125 00:39:05,910 --> 00:39:08,990 Well, I mean... Good, because me, I slept fucking great. 126 00:39:11,670 --> 00:39:13,930 So, what's on the agenda for today? 127 00:39:14,530 --> 00:39:19,090 Well, I'm looking in the classifieds. I really need a job, and... 128 00:39:19,440 --> 00:39:21,380 I guess I'm going to just follow a few leads. 129 00:39:21,780 --> 00:39:22,780 What do you do? 130 00:39:23,240 --> 00:39:24,240 You know, job skills. 131 00:39:25,660 --> 00:39:26,800 Tell me you're not an actress. 132 00:39:27,140 --> 00:39:29,940 But if you are, I can point you to a couple good restaurants and bars where 133 00:39:29,940 --> 00:39:31,780 can wait in line to be a waitress. 134 00:39:32,180 --> 00:39:33,180 No, no, no, no. 135 00:39:33,240 --> 00:39:34,560 I'm not an actress. 136 00:39:35,000 --> 00:39:39,640 I'm thinking something about like a secretarial job or some office work. 137 00:39:40,280 --> 00:39:42,480 Oh, maybe Jimmy could help you. 138 00:39:42,760 --> 00:39:45,580 Really? Any help would be greatly appreciated. 139 00:39:46,080 --> 00:39:48,660 Yeah, he works for the, let's just say, 140 00:39:49,400 --> 00:39:54,140 An independent filmmaker, one of the best in town. Oh, how exciting! 141 00:39:54,560 --> 00:39:55,880 Do you think he can help? 142 00:39:56,480 --> 00:39:57,480 Yeah, yeah, sure. 143 00:39:58,140 --> 00:40:02,740 You know, I rolled into town on fumes, I'm low on cash, a job would be great 144 00:40:02,740 --> 00:40:03,740 right now. 145 00:40:07,340 --> 00:40:09,320 So what kind of movies does he make? 146 00:40:10,220 --> 00:40:11,860 Okay, folks, okay? 147 00:40:12,680 --> 00:40:16,220 Let y 'all get together on this one, we're running a little bit late here. 148 00:40:16,700 --> 00:40:20,540 But we're going to get an awesome scene out of this one, okay? We got Manuel and 149 00:40:20,540 --> 00:40:22,980 Tiffany. They're two trained professionals. 150 00:40:23,680 --> 00:40:26,440 Tiffany's already a veteran. She's been here seven days. 151 00:40:26,780 --> 00:40:32,340 So, the mood I'm looking for here, Fran... Only my second day in Los 152 00:40:32,460 --> 00:40:33,460 and I was employed. 153 00:40:33,780 --> 00:40:38,600 As the second assistant to the assistant producer, it was my responsibility to 154 00:40:38,600 --> 00:40:43,300 provide the necessary hygiene products to the town. I think if you go with the 155 00:40:43,300 --> 00:40:47,950 motto of the dick doesn't suck itself... That should inspire enough, okay? 156 00:40:48,230 --> 00:40:52,570 Not exactly what I had in mind, but Jimmy explained to me that here in the 157 00:40:52,570 --> 00:40:55,150 Valley, it was steady work. I'll take it. 158 00:40:55,970 --> 00:41:02,010 Maybe a little banter, a little hugging, and then maybe something, I don't know, 159 00:41:02,050 --> 00:41:03,450 soft kisses, okay? 160 00:41:04,780 --> 00:41:09,440 I guess we're going to go ahead and start from the bed and just move into 161 00:41:09,440 --> 00:41:13,760 finger banging. That seems good. Okay, now remember I want to play a reaction 162 00:41:13,760 --> 00:41:16,440 shot, okay? I want to see some faces. 163 00:41:16,800 --> 00:41:21,080 And if they need anything, honey, you need to be on the spot on this thing, 164 00:41:21,220 --> 00:41:24,460 okay? Okay, ready? Here we go, people. Let's roll this thing up. 165 00:41:26,440 --> 00:41:30,120 And with that, the two tore into each other like crazed animals. 166 00:41:30,380 --> 00:41:32,020 I was no prude, mind you. 167 00:41:32,380 --> 00:41:36,740 But I wasn't exactly used to seeing people have sex right in front of me. I 168 00:41:36,740 --> 00:41:41,320 wanting to close a door or throw a curtain, something to give them a little 169 00:41:41,320 --> 00:41:42,320 privacy. 170 00:42:55,020 --> 00:42:59,500 ex -pool boy, now Navy SEAL. Your husband could be coming. You're thinking 171 00:42:59,500 --> 00:43:05,120 yourself, do I resist or do I go tip to root on his nutsack? 172 00:43:05,700 --> 00:43:09,340 That's the expression. Oh, that's what I'm talking about. 173 00:43:14,140 --> 00:43:20,020 Now, honey, your motivation here is that you're drowning and his balls contain 174 00:43:20,020 --> 00:43:22,100 oxygen. Suck that cock. 175 00:43:39,370 --> 00:43:41,850 It's what's going to get me the next big award show. 176 00:43:42,870 --> 00:43:47,210 I'm going to be sitting there going, I'd like to thank Tiffany and her. Go, go, 177 00:43:47,250 --> 00:43:48,250 go, go. 178 00:44:17,130 --> 00:44:20,830 Woman looks like a squirrel with nuts in her. Look it, she's storing it for the 179 00:44:20,830 --> 00:44:23,890 winter here. You're like a chipmunk. Look it. 180 00:55:56,300 --> 00:55:57,300 You're great. 181 00:55:57,480 --> 00:56:00,780 You idiot. Wipe the face. Come on, huh? 182 00:56:01,480 --> 00:56:05,920 Jesus. I can't eat no deli sandwich with the goddamn baby batter. 183 00:56:06,480 --> 00:56:07,459 Take it. 184 00:56:07,460 --> 00:56:09,140 She's not a trash can, honey. 185 00:56:09,440 --> 00:56:10,440 Can I have some, please? 186 00:56:11,460 --> 00:56:13,700 All right, Jesus. Well, I'm sorry. 187 00:56:13,960 --> 00:56:17,080 It's okay, man. Yeah, I mean... Oh, Jesus. 188 00:56:17,500 --> 00:56:19,040 Okay, people. 189 00:56:19,420 --> 00:56:21,300 Let's wrap it up. Let's have some lunch. 190 00:56:21,860 --> 00:56:22,860 Lunch? 191 00:56:23,140 --> 00:56:27,120 Not sure I would be thinking about lunch with my face covered in man juice. 192 00:56:27,600 --> 00:56:31,880 Yep, Los Angeles was going to take some getting used to. What's up, Carmen? 193 00:56:32,180 --> 00:56:34,000 Hey. What, you not hungry? 194 00:56:34,780 --> 00:56:37,600 No, not much of an appetite at the moment. 195 00:56:38,520 --> 00:56:39,520 Too bad. 196 00:56:39,960 --> 00:56:40,960 Good stuff. 197 00:56:42,460 --> 00:56:45,300 You think catering's pretty shitty, but this stuff? 198 00:56:53,800 --> 00:56:54,800 I'll catch up to you later. 199 00:56:55,060 --> 00:56:56,060 Okay. 200 00:56:56,880 --> 00:57:00,340 It wasn't that bad, actually. 201 00:57:00,620 --> 00:57:05,980 Once you got used to the scenery and everyone was really nice and friendly, 202 00:57:05,980 --> 00:57:07,300 lingo had me lost, though. 203 00:57:07,620 --> 00:57:10,280 I learned whole new meanings for everyday phrases. 204 00:57:10,680 --> 00:57:14,660 I learned to be careful when asking for an ATM or a facial. 205 00:57:15,180 --> 00:57:18,700 Even learned that a DP had nothing to do with directing photography. 206 00:57:20,600 --> 00:57:22,340 You must be new. 207 00:57:24,759 --> 00:57:26,260 Yeah, that I am. 208 00:57:27,160 --> 00:57:28,160 I'm Carmen. 209 00:57:28,980 --> 00:57:29,980 Lance. 210 00:57:30,240 --> 00:57:31,240 Lance Rock. 211 00:57:32,380 --> 00:57:33,660 Nice to meet you, Lance. 212 00:57:35,420 --> 00:57:40,140 You know, it might be a smart move for your career if you were to work with me. 213 00:57:41,080 --> 00:57:42,080 Really? 214 00:57:43,340 --> 00:57:44,340 Of course. 215 00:57:45,400 --> 00:57:49,420 Well, I'm not sure why you would want to work with me, but I could definitely 216 00:57:49,420 --> 00:57:50,420 use the help. 217 00:57:50,780 --> 00:57:51,780 Yeah. 218 00:57:52,000 --> 00:57:53,320 You like cowgirl? 219 00:57:55,100 --> 00:58:01,240 Well, I don't write as much as I used to, but I try to get some in every once 220 00:58:01,240 --> 00:58:02,240 a while. 221 00:58:03,140 --> 00:58:05,420 Oh, that's a joke. Lance gets it. 222 00:58:06,240 --> 00:58:07,240 You're funny. 223 00:58:07,440 --> 00:58:10,460 Yeah, you like standing scissors? 224 00:58:11,400 --> 00:58:18,240 Well, I'm not much into yoga and stuff like that, but I'll try anything once, 225 00:58:18,280 --> 00:58:19,280 I guess. 226 00:58:22,890 --> 00:58:25,070 That's not a joke. I'll answer it. You're priceless. 227 00:58:25,310 --> 00:58:26,310 You're priceless. 228 00:58:26,470 --> 00:58:27,470 We'll rock together. 229 00:58:27,630 --> 00:58:28,630 We'll electrify him. 230 00:58:32,630 --> 00:58:33,630 Okay. 231 00:58:33,890 --> 00:58:34,890 Lance, you're up next. 232 00:58:35,250 --> 00:58:39,430 That thing better be hard enough to drive a KS -52 2x4 before the time of 233 00:58:39,430 --> 00:58:40,970 election. Copy that. 234 00:58:41,750 --> 00:58:43,090 Hey, baby, I gotta go to work. 235 00:58:44,270 --> 00:58:48,650 So let's say after work you and I get together and we can party, have a few 236 00:58:48,650 --> 00:58:51,550 drinks, and then go home and practice some anal, huh? 237 00:58:51,880 --> 00:58:52,880 Always good to practice. 238 00:58:53,100 --> 00:58:54,100 I'm gonna go. 239 00:58:55,020 --> 00:58:56,020 Later. 240 00:58:56,360 --> 00:58:57,360 I'm coming! 241 00:59:02,440 --> 00:59:03,880 Now I know what you are thinking. 242 00:59:04,280 --> 00:59:05,600 Dumb little southern girl. 243 00:59:05,800 --> 00:59:11,040 But hey, this was a whole new world for me. And with a language all its own. My 244 00:59:11,040 --> 00:59:12,680 porno speak was still a bit rusty. 245 00:59:15,040 --> 00:59:19,700 Then it hit me like a, well, like a rock hard cock right upside my face. 246 00:59:20,280 --> 00:59:23,400 Now I knew what he meant by wanting to work with me. 247 00:59:23,760 --> 00:59:25,440 Another lesson in porno speak. 248 00:59:26,120 --> 00:59:28,460 Work translated as to fuck. 249 00:59:30,600 --> 00:59:32,260 Now my head was spinning. 250 00:59:32,620 --> 00:59:35,280 This was all moving a bit too fast, I guess. 251 00:59:35,700 --> 00:59:40,340 Only two days in the valley and already I was giving second thoughts to trading 252 00:59:40,340 --> 00:59:44,080 in my cowboy boots for a new pair of clear plastic stripper shoes. 253 00:59:44,620 --> 00:59:46,580 I'd have to think this one through a bit. 254 00:59:48,609 --> 00:59:53,670 Then I saw Jimmy, a camera in one hand and the back of some girl's head in the 255 00:59:53,670 --> 00:59:54,950 other. Hey, Carmen, what's up? 256 00:59:56,450 --> 00:59:57,450 Jimmy? 257 00:59:58,370 --> 01:00:00,350 Yeah, this is my friend Wendy Love. Wendy? 258 01:00:01,010 --> 01:00:02,010 Carmen. 259 01:00:02,390 --> 01:00:03,390 Hi. 260 01:00:05,930 --> 01:00:06,930 Hey, 261 01:00:07,650 --> 01:00:08,650 Carmen, you want to do me a favor? 262 01:00:09,950 --> 01:00:14,170 Sure. I'm shooting my new POV line, and shit, I could really appreciate it if 263 01:00:14,170 --> 01:00:15,690 you could hold the camera while I get some rhythm going. 264 01:00:15,930 --> 01:00:17,070 Oh, okay. 265 01:00:19,550 --> 01:00:22,150 Thanks. Make sure you stay on all the action right here. 266 01:00:23,050 --> 01:00:26,530 Now this was simply two months. 267 01:00:27,110 --> 01:00:30,310 End of day two in the valley, and now I'm a pornographer. 268 01:00:30,850 --> 01:00:34,810 Yep, Los Angeles was going to take a lot of getting used to. 269 01:00:35,870 --> 01:00:40,450 And what is it about guys and blowjobs? I was beginning to think that my ex was 270 01:00:40,450 --> 01:00:43,390 right. Getting your dick sucked was like shaking hands. 271 01:00:43,810 --> 01:00:47,370 I was going to have to start rethinking everything I had learned in charm 272 01:00:47,370 --> 01:00:48,370 school. 273 01:01:56,360 --> 01:01:57,319 How am I doing, okay? 274 01:01:57,320 --> 01:01:58,860 You're doing pretty good. She keeps up. 275 01:03:37,520 --> 01:03:38,520 just providing more space. 276 01:04:52,270 --> 01:04:53,270 Pretty good. 277 01:04:54,350 --> 01:04:55,390 Was it a bad interview? 278 01:04:55,750 --> 01:04:56,750 It was a great one. 279 01:04:57,690 --> 01:04:58,690 Cut. 280 01:05:02,750 --> 01:05:05,270 Jimmy, direct coach will see you right away. We got problems. 281 01:05:05,630 --> 01:05:06,630 On set, hurry. 282 01:05:10,150 --> 01:05:11,150 Damn it. 283 01:05:16,550 --> 01:05:17,550 What? 284 01:05:18,050 --> 01:05:20,450 Yeah, yeah, Jimmy. God damn, where have you been? Listen. 285 01:05:20,880 --> 01:05:22,340 We have got a problem, okay? 286 01:05:23,360 --> 01:05:27,880 That replacement, that great star that you decided to give me, yeah, she didn't 287 01:05:27,880 --> 01:05:28,880 show up, okay? 288 01:05:28,920 --> 01:05:29,738 Oh, man. 289 01:05:29,740 --> 01:05:31,200 We got a no -show situation. 290 01:05:31,940 --> 01:05:33,600 We are on DEFCON 5. 291 01:05:34,020 --> 01:05:35,240 You better do something. 292 01:05:35,600 --> 01:05:37,380 She was already a last -minute replacement. 293 01:05:37,900 --> 01:05:42,420 That 100 -person Evan Stone reverse gangbang's being shot down. There is no 294 01:05:42,420 --> 01:05:43,399 other girl, man. 295 01:05:43,400 --> 01:05:44,400 There's no more. 296 01:05:44,620 --> 01:05:45,900 Gone. Zero. 297 01:05:46,220 --> 01:05:49,840 Okay, listen here. What we got is a failure to communicate, okay? 298 01:05:50,680 --> 01:05:55,120 We need a female here. So unless, of course, you want to put on makeup and 299 01:05:55,120 --> 01:05:56,800 heels, you better think of something. 300 01:05:57,060 --> 01:05:58,060 Okay? 301 01:05:58,520 --> 01:06:00,580 Two tits, a hole, and a heartbeat. That's all I need. 302 01:06:48,140 --> 01:06:49,280 Moment of truth. 303 01:06:50,040 --> 01:06:53,300 I'd have to admit that I was certainly intrigued by the idea. 304 01:06:53,820 --> 01:06:55,620 Like I said, I was no prude. 305 01:06:55,880 --> 01:06:58,880 But then again, this would be a bold step for me. 306 01:06:59,600 --> 01:07:03,520 Remembering how my ex Eric had cheated on me kind of gave me the feeling that I 307 01:07:03,520 --> 01:07:07,780 should jump in with both feet and enjoy the experience just out of spite. 308 01:07:09,660 --> 01:07:13,840 Didn't think that my trip to California would end up with me acting in an adult 309 01:07:13,840 --> 01:07:14,840 movie. 310 01:07:14,990 --> 01:07:18,670 But then again, how often do things really happen the way we plan? 311 01:07:19,790 --> 01:07:26,610 What we're looking here is some kind of, um... I want to see a reaction 312 01:07:26,610 --> 01:07:33,610 in your face that, you know, says, I've come back from the war, I 313 01:07:33,610 --> 01:07:37,270 haven't seen you in a long time, but the dick ain't gonna suck itself. 314 01:07:38,210 --> 01:07:40,550 You know, something of a love story. 315 01:07:41,870 --> 01:07:42,870 This was it. 316 01:07:43,210 --> 01:07:44,630 Put up or shut up time. 317 01:07:45,030 --> 01:07:46,410 Jump in or run away. 318 01:07:49,070 --> 01:07:50,070 Then it hit me. 319 01:07:50,730 --> 01:07:52,410 It's no more than a handshake. 320 01:12:23,340 --> 01:12:24,840 That's it. Spit on Lance's duck. 321 01:12:25,720 --> 01:12:27,000 Light throat, light stomach. 322 01:22:04,620 --> 01:22:08,720 As you can see, my life wasn't going to work out exactly how I had planned in 323 01:22:08,720 --> 01:22:11,720 the beginning, but I was determined to make it. 324 01:22:12,180 --> 01:22:17,080 I was learning that life happens and you either run away and hide or take every 325 01:22:17,080 --> 01:22:18,780 opportunity that presents itself. 326 01:22:19,180 --> 01:22:20,180 You never know. 327 01:22:20,640 --> 01:22:23,000 I might even decide to become a porn star. 24263

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