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1
00:00:10,596 --> 00:00:12,391
This is all my fault.
2
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Delilah said she'd only
come see us at a funeral,
3
00:00:14,221 --> 00:00:16,395
then I thought of all these ways
to kill you guys.
4
00:00:16,430 --> 00:00:17,810
I never wanted any of this to happen.
5
00:00:17,845 --> 00:00:19,260
Shh. It's okay.
6
00:00:19,295 --> 00:00:22,608
We're gonna get through this.
We'll be okay.
7
00:00:24,162 --> 00:00:28,442
Nate was a loving husband
and a devoted father.
8
00:00:28,476 --> 00:00:30,313
He was the type of guy who...
9
00:00:32,129 --> 00:00:34,482
What does that say? What's that say?
10
00:00:34,517 --> 00:00:36,415
The guy men want to be
and women want to be with?
11
00:00:36,450 --> 00:00:38,693
Right. Men want to be... Ugh.
12
00:00:38,728 --> 00:00:40,695
Uh... huh.
13
00:00:40,730 --> 00:00:42,456
The type of guy that when you've got
14
00:00:42,490 --> 00:00:47,461
10 seconds left on the
clock, down by two,
15
00:00:47,495 --> 00:00:49,497
you're short handed, three on five,
16
00:00:49,532 --> 00:00:51,844
and the ref has just been
riding your dick all night,
17
00:00:51,879 --> 00:00:54,640
that guy says,
"I'll score two by myself
18
00:00:54,675 --> 00:00:55,745
and get us to overtime."
19
00:00:55,779 --> 00:00:57,778
- This is so stupid.
- Oh, my God.
20
00:00:58,334 --> 00:00:59,749
Holy cow.
21
00:00:59,783 --> 00:01:01,302
Let me tell you what's stupid.
22
00:01:01,337 --> 00:01:04,197
Hearing an "ugh" in the middle
of your own eulogy.
23
00:01:04,892 --> 00:01:06,514
And "#1 dud"?
24
00:01:06,549 --> 00:01:07,757
They were out of "A's."
25
00:01:07,791 --> 00:01:09,724
Then by an "E" for the end.
26
00:01:09,759 --> 00:01:10,760
"Dud-e"?
27
00:01:10,794 --> 00:01:12,451
God. Piece of crap.
28
00:01:12,486 --> 00:01:13,763
What are these?
29
00:01:13,830 --> 00:01:15,349
- Carnations.
- They suck!
30
00:01:15,351 --> 00:01:17,387
- They're fine.
- Tennis?
31
00:01:17,422 --> 00:01:18,871
What am I, Italian?
32
00:01:18,906 --> 00:01:21,219
And my Drew Stafford
autographed skates?
33
00:01:21,253 --> 00:01:22,737
How many times have I told you,
34
00:01:22,772 --> 00:01:25,361
they don't come out of the glass case?
35
00:01:25,395 --> 00:01:27,363
And don't even get me
started on this venue.
36
00:01:27,397 --> 00:01:29,184
- It's atrocious.
- What?
37
00:01:29,278 --> 00:01:31,028
What is that smell, dead raccoons?
38
00:01:31,049 --> 00:01:33,783
Hey! War heroes have funerals here.
39
00:01:33,817 --> 00:01:35,785
So I guess it's good enough
for the greatest generations,
40
00:01:35,819 --> 00:01:36,924
but not for Nate the Great?
41
00:01:36,958 --> 00:01:38,512
Can I tell you, if I was actually dead,
42
00:01:38,546 --> 00:01:40,203
I'd be rolling over in
my grave right now.
43
00:01:40,238 --> 00:01:42,378
You were cremated, dum-dum.
Keep your story straight.
44
00:01:42,412 --> 00:01:43,758
Why are you doing any of this?
45
00:01:43,793 --> 00:01:45,001
It's such a stupid idea.
46
00:01:45,035 --> 00:01:46,934
What are you talking about?
This was your idea.
47
00:01:46,968 --> 00:01:48,384
I still say that when you saw her,
48
00:01:48,418 --> 00:01:50,144
you should have grabbed
her and called us,
49
00:01:50,179 --> 00:01:52,698
- but that's just me talking.
- Yes, and now here we are,
50
00:01:52,733 --> 00:01:54,838
at my fake [bleep] funeral, okay?
51
00:01:54,873 --> 00:01:56,771
So what we're gonna do
is, we're gonna wait
52
00:01:56,806 --> 00:01:58,911
for Delilah to show up,
we're gonna grab her,
53
00:01:58,946 --> 00:02:01,535
we're gonna strap her to
a chair and shake her
54
00:02:01,569 --> 00:02:03,364
until she realizes
how much she loves us.
55
00:02:03,399 --> 00:02:05,677
Now, let's take it from the top,
and a little energy this time.
56
00:02:05,711 --> 00:02:07,644
Okay? A little emotion.
57
00:02:07,679 --> 00:02:09,508
Let's try to sell this stupid premise.
58
00:02:09,543 --> 00:02:11,344
Five, six, seven... Shit, shit, shit!
59
00:02:11,351 --> 00:02:12,979
What? Oh!
60
00:02:12,980 --> 00:02:14,205
Excuse me.
61
00:02:14,206 --> 00:02:15,687
Hi, hello. Can I help you?
62
00:02:15,721 --> 00:02:18,647
I'm here for Nate Parker's memorial.
63
00:02:19,553 --> 00:02:21,934
I assumed that I'm in the right place.
64
00:02:21,969 --> 00:02:23,557
Uh, yes. Yeah.
65
00:02:23,591 --> 00:02:25,559
I-I'm so sorry. Who... Who are you?
66
00:02:26,091 --> 00:02:27,130
I'm Skye.
67
00:02:27,733 --> 00:02:29,287
Nate's old girlfriend.
68
00:02:29,321 --> 00:02:31,289
How did you hear about this event?
69
00:02:31,323 --> 00:02:32,961
- Well...
- I invited her.
70
00:02:33,739 --> 00:02:37,950
She was the girl that my dead
son should have married.
71
00:02:48,799 --> 00:02:50,799
Synced and corrected by hawken45
for www.addic7ed.com
72
00:02:50,998 --> 00:02:53,863
I wish I could do something.
73
00:02:53,897 --> 00:02:55,692
I can't believe she invited people.
74
00:02:55,727 --> 00:02:57,315
I needed her to tell Delilah.
75
00:02:57,349 --> 00:02:58,730
So, you told her I was actually dead?
76
00:02:58,764 --> 00:03:01,008
I didn't trust her to be a good
enough actor to know the truth.
77
00:03:01,042 --> 00:03:03,286
- Oh, my God.
- She looks so sad.
78
00:03:03,321 --> 00:03:04,770
I've never seen her cry before.
79
00:03:04,805 --> 00:03:06,565
- I thought you would love that.
- What?
80
00:03:06,600 --> 00:03:08,200
This is the same woman
who made you hobble around
81
00:03:08,201 --> 00:03:10,031
on a broken femur for six months.
82
00:03:10,545 --> 00:03:12,295
In her defense, I was 6. Okay?
83
00:03:12,301 --> 00:03:13,501
I should have been a little tougher.
84
00:03:14,608 --> 00:03:15,711
I can't do this. We should
let her off the hook.
85
00:03:15,712 --> 00:03:16,541
- No. No, no, no, no, no.
- Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
86
00:03:16,575 --> 00:03:18,509
- Hey, hey, hey!
- I-I gotta tell her.
87
00:03:18,543 --> 00:03:19,613
- I gotta tell her, okay?
- No!
88
00:03:19,647 --> 00:03:21,649
Plus, it'd be great to see Skye.
She looks awesome.
89
00:03:21,684 --> 00:03:23,418
What's gonna happen when
you come back from the dead?
90
00:03:23,452 --> 00:03:25,341
People are gonna be pissed,
they're gonna leave,
91
00:03:25,343 --> 00:03:26,477
and they're gonna go tell Delilah.
92
00:03:26,489 --> 00:03:27,923
Then we never see our
daughter again, and...
93
00:03:27,924 --> 00:03:29,657
Just stick to the plan, okay?
94
00:03:29,692 --> 00:03:31,383
Stay dead.
95
00:03:31,418 --> 00:03:33,523
- Is this about my ex girlfriend?
- What?
96
00:03:33,558 --> 00:03:35,007
Is this about my ex girlfriend?
97
00:03:35,042 --> 00:03:36,733
Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah.
98
00:03:36,768 --> 00:03:38,908
No! Babe, no.
99
00:03:38,942 --> 00:03:41,107
You can see her. When you're
not pretending to be dead,
100
00:03:41,108 --> 00:03:43,050
you can see her all day long.
I don't care. Why?
101
00:03:43,084 --> 00:03:45,052
Do you think I'm jealous,
'cause she's a...
102
00:03:45,086 --> 00:03:46,640
- Neurosurgeon?
- What?
103
00:03:46,674 --> 00:03:48,780
- She's a brain doctor, too?
- Yeah.
104
00:03:48,814 --> 00:03:50,506
No wonder she dumped you.
105
00:03:50,540 --> 00:03:52,784
Okay.
106
00:03:52,818 --> 00:03:54,268
I dumped her.
107
00:03:54,303 --> 00:03:57,651
Hey. Hey. Listen.
108
00:03:57,685 --> 00:03:59,515
Trust me, everything's gonna be okay.
109
00:03:59,549 --> 00:04:01,049
Like, for real... like,
in a couple of hours,
110
00:04:01,068 --> 00:04:04,623
- everything's gonna be fine.
- You're a horrible woman.
111
00:04:04,658 --> 00:04:07,488
Oh...
112
00:04:07,523 --> 00:04:09,387
It will be okay, Mom.
113
00:04:09,421 --> 00:04:10,767
Mom?
114
00:04:10,802 --> 00:04:14,530
Yeah, it's what I've always called her.
115
00:04:14,564 --> 00:04:15,910
Why? What do you call her?
116
00:04:15,945 --> 00:04:17,705
I... don't call her.
117
00:04:17,740 --> 00:04:19,086
That's a shame.
118
00:04:19,120 --> 00:04:21,364
'Cause she's an incredible woman.
119
00:04:21,399 --> 00:04:22,814
She's not.
120
00:04:22,848 --> 00:04:26,093
♪ Oh, ring-a-ding-dong,
the dipshit's dead ♪
121
00:04:26,127 --> 00:04:27,194
Hey!
122
00:04:27,433 --> 00:04:29,407
- Gene.
- Oh, Robin!
123
00:04:29,441 --> 00:04:32,190
Helen called me.
I got here as fast as I could.
124
00:04:32,290 --> 00:04:34,982
I'm so sorry for your loss.
125
00:04:35,517 --> 00:04:37,555
But I got to say, the tragedy...
126
00:04:38,036 --> 00:04:40,590
is doing wonders for your figure, girl.
127
00:04:40,625 --> 00:04:42,834
Okay, okay. All right. Yep. Let's...
128
00:04:44,145 --> 00:04:46,734
Can't even console a woman
in America anymore.
129
00:04:46,769 --> 00:04:47,908
You can just not with your lips.
130
00:04:47,942 --> 00:04:50,600
Yeah. That's why I'm going
to Russia later this week.
131
00:04:50,635 --> 00:04:53,845
Find myself a Slavic
bride... easy going.
132
00:04:53,879 --> 00:04:54,946
But I don't wanna go.
133
00:04:55,030 --> 00:04:56,497
Yeah, you gotta do
what you gotta do, though.
134
00:04:56,498 --> 00:04:58,279
- Give me a reason not to go.
- You should go.
135
00:04:58,280 --> 00:05:01,163
'Cause I'd rather buy American,
if you know what I mean.
136
00:05:01,164 --> 00:05:02,168
It's too soon, Gene.
137
00:05:02,169 --> 00:05:03,304
Gah!
138
00:05:03,305 --> 00:05:04,738
Well, I'm here till
of the end of the week
139
00:05:04,739 --> 00:05:06,321
in case you need something
to throw a leg over.
140
00:05:06,322 --> 00:05:07,379
Still too soon.
141
00:05:07,380 --> 00:05:09,942
In the meantime,
let's get this party started.
142
00:05:09,977 --> 00:05:12,151
That's what the dipshit
would have wanted.
143
00:05:12,186 --> 00:05:13,221
Okay.
144
00:05:13,256 --> 00:05:14,982
Whoo-whoo-whoo, whoo-whoo! Ooh-ooh.
145
00:05:26,804 --> 00:05:28,357
Okay!
146
00:05:28,437 --> 00:05:29,748
I'll get this thing rolling.
147
00:05:29,870 --> 00:05:33,183
Nate was a, um, idiot.
148
00:05:34,489 --> 00:05:37,243
He was a cuck.
149
00:05:37,244 --> 00:05:39,716
He was a terrible
provider for his family,
150
00:05:39,717 --> 00:05:42,016
but he was also...
151
00:05:42,942 --> 00:05:44,624
the worst employee I ever had.
152
00:05:48,734 --> 00:05:49,976
Who's next?
153
00:05:50,228 --> 00:05:51,299
I'll go.
154
00:05:51,300 --> 00:05:53,647
My son was such a wimp,
155
00:05:53,681 --> 00:05:58,376
he'd walk around saying,
"I broke my femur."
156
00:06:00,412 --> 00:06:02,483
I mean, I had a C-section.
157
00:06:02,518 --> 00:06:06,384
How the hell did my son
get so much pussy in him?
158
00:06:07,937 --> 00:06:12,286
But we should focus on the good things.
159
00:06:12,321 --> 00:06:15,979
Nate was with a beautiful, talented,
160
00:06:16,014 --> 00:06:19,198
intelligent, thoughtful woman.
161
00:06:20,536 --> 00:06:22,120
And he dumped her
162
00:06:22,538 --> 00:06:24,505
for ungrateful hooker.
163
00:06:25,851 --> 00:06:27,819
Don't judge me.
164
00:06:27,853 --> 00:06:30,960
You were always above
judgment, weren't you, Helen?
165
00:06:30,994 --> 00:06:33,721
Well, look who decided
166
00:06:33,756 --> 00:06:38,726
to show his stupid,
ugly, negligent face.
167
00:06:38,761 --> 00:06:40,659
Old King Cuck.
168
00:06:40,694 --> 00:06:42,661
Excuse me. Who are you?
169
00:06:43,144 --> 00:06:44,144
I'm Nate Parker.
170
00:06:48,011 --> 00:06:50,704
And that's my son you're shitting on.
171
00:06:57,642 --> 00:06:59,244
Papa?
172
00:07:03,693 --> 00:07:05,339
What the hell is going on?
173
00:07:05,374 --> 00:07:07,341
I thought he was dead and now he's not.
174
00:07:07,376 --> 00:07:08,963
I need to see what he looks like.
175
00:07:08,998 --> 00:07:11,483
Everybody's blocking him.
176
00:07:11,518 --> 00:07:13,623
What the hell does he look like?
I need to see his face.
177
00:07:16,799 --> 00:07:18,697
- Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
- What? What?!
178
00:07:18,732 --> 00:07:20,387
It's Blu Brown. It's... Oh, shit!
179
00:07:20,388 --> 00:07:23,115
Blu Brown!
180
00:07:23,150 --> 00:07:24,979
Shh! Shh!
181
00:07:25,014 --> 00:07:26,498
Blu Brown! Blu Brown! Blu Brown.
182
00:07:26,533 --> 00:07:27,942
It's Blu Brown. It's Blu Brown.
183
00:07:27,943 --> 00:07:29,544
Sweetie, shh, shh.
You're freaking out. You're...
184
00:07:29,546 --> 00:07:30,710
You're just saying colors, baby.
185
00:07:30,744 --> 00:07:33,056
My dad... My dad is Blu Brown.
He's actually Blu Brown.
186
00:07:33,091 --> 00:07:34,506
I don't know who that is.
187
00:07:34,541 --> 00:07:35,921
It's Southern Ontario's Red Green.
188
00:07:35,962 --> 00:07:36,997
He's a provincial treasure.
189
00:07:37,026 --> 00:07:39,028
- What?
- The beaver leader for the damn lodge.
190
00:07:39,062 --> 00:07:40,236
Blue Brown.
191
00:07:40,270 --> 00:07:42,104
Well, if you get the Quebec
feed, it's Blue Brun, but...
192
00:07:42,105 --> 00:07:43,727
Blu Brown.
193
00:07:43,893 --> 00:07:45,791
It's pretty much a bylaw to watch him.
194
00:07:45,826 --> 00:07:47,517
- What?
- It's actually more of a mandate,
195
00:07:47,552 --> 00:07:49,657
'cause 40% of all Canadian TV
has to be Canadian.
196
00:07:49,692 --> 00:07:52,591
- Slow down, slow down.
- Okay, sorry. Sorry, sorry.
197
00:07:52,626 --> 00:07:54,869
Look at me, overly apologizing,
that's where I get it.
198
00:07:54,904 --> 00:07:56,015
I'm half Canadian.
199
00:07:56,975 --> 00:07:59,080
So many things happening
to me right now.
200
00:07:59,115 --> 00:08:00,875
Oh, my God
201
00:08:00,910 --> 00:08:02,221
I'm having a deja bl...
202
00:08:02,254 --> 00:08:04,281
That's what he called
flashbacks on his show.
203
00:08:04,292 --> 00:08:05,323
Good!
_
204
00:08:05,325 --> 00:08:06,558
You get out of here and take your...
_
205
00:08:06,571 --> 00:08:08,296
So, my dad walked out
on me on Christmas Day
206
00:08:08,331 --> 00:08:10,091
when I was really young, okay?
207
00:08:10,126 --> 00:08:12,923
A couple years later, I found
this guy Blu Brown on TV.
208
00:08:13,957 --> 00:08:16,028
And it was like,
he seems really familiar,
209
00:08:16,063 --> 00:08:17,305
and now I know why.
210
00:08:17,340 --> 00:08:18,617
Check it out.
211
00:08:29,110 --> 00:08:30,249
Oh!
212
00:08:30,284 --> 00:08:31,941
Morning, beavers.
213
00:08:31,975 --> 00:08:33,252
How's it going, eh?
214
00:08:33,287 --> 00:08:35,545
So, how 'bout we whip up some breakfast
215
00:08:35,546 --> 00:08:37,187
in the damn lodge.
216
00:08:37,222 --> 00:08:38,706
Who wants eggs?
217
00:08:38,741 --> 00:08:40,707
Well, my goodness.
218
00:08:41,454 --> 00:08:43,711
Looks like she whipped
up a few English, eh?
219
00:08:45,483 --> 00:08:46,712
What are you laughing at?
220
00:08:46,714 --> 00:08:49,199
What aren't you laughing at?
It's hilarious.
221
00:08:49,234 --> 00:08:51,132
- Hey, Blu! Blu!
- Blu! Blu!
222
00:08:51,167 --> 00:08:54,703
Oh, here comes the
catch of the day, eh?
223
00:08:55,228 --> 00:08:57,653
You boys get lucky with
those rods today? Did ya?
224
00:08:57,655 --> 00:08:59,278
- Yeah!
- Yeah?
225
00:08:59,313 --> 00:09:03,213
Well, just remember,
it's not the size of your rod.
226
00:09:03,255 --> 00:09:05,947
It's how you wiggle your worm, eh?
227
00:09:05,981 --> 00:09:07,856
- What?
- It's wordplay.
228
00:09:07,857 --> 00:09:09,599
- It's cute.
- It's not cute.
229
00:09:09,634 --> 00:09:12,808
Heh, heh. Yeah. That's right.
230
00:09:13,807 --> 00:09:14,846
Beautiful hair there.
231
00:09:14,880 --> 00:09:16,951
There you go.
Give me a kiss right here.
232
00:09:16,986 --> 00:09:19,732
- He seems like a pedophile.
- Hey, you shut your mouth.
233
00:09:19,733 --> 00:09:21,731
Okay, that is my father
you're talking about.
234
00:09:25,304 --> 00:09:27,410
Mmm! Mmm.
235
00:09:27,444 --> 00:09:28,963
No! No!
236
00:09:28,998 --> 00:09:31,138
It was the '70s. Don't be such a prude.
237
00:09:31,172 --> 00:09:33,105
- That's not...
- Okay. You want funny?
238
00:09:33,140 --> 00:09:34,382
- Please.
- Watch this.
239
00:09:34,417 --> 00:09:37,178
Oh, God.
240
00:10:03,066 --> 00:10:05,837
Check under 'ze 'ood.
241
00:10:07,105 --> 00:10:08,865
This is so confusing. How...
242
00:10:08,900 --> 00:10:11,005
How is this a character
in a kid's show?
243
00:10:11,040 --> 00:10:12,662
It started on the Blu Brown show,
244
00:10:12,697 --> 00:10:14,871
but it was so friggin'
popular, they spun it off
245
00:10:14,906 --> 00:10:16,738
into its own salty late-night series.
246
00:10:17,554 --> 00:10:19,060
Watch this clip. This is funny.
247
00:10:20,165 --> 00:10:21,994
Boop! Boo-boo-boo-boo-boo-boo.
248
00:10:22,036 --> 00:10:26,212
Hey! I'm getting the feeling
that you're not a real doctor.
249
00:10:29,691 --> 00:10:30,702
Boop.
250
00:10:38,500 --> 00:10:41,193
Because... Oh, because her tits
are like the horns?
251
00:10:41,227 --> 00:10:42,815
What? No.
252
00:10:42,850 --> 00:10:45,231
The... the... The headlights.
253
00:10:45,266 --> 00:10:47,152
Then why is he inflating them?
254
00:10:47,843 --> 00:10:50,397
Oh, my God. You just don't get it.
255
00:10:50,512 --> 00:10:51,962
Uh, yeah, I get it.
256
00:10:51,997 --> 00:10:53,826
I get that he's
incredibly objectifying.
257
00:10:53,861 --> 00:10:56,173
What's objectifying about
thinking she's a car?
258
00:10:56,208 --> 00:10:57,830
Okay, so what about this Fidget guy?
259
00:10:57,865 --> 00:10:59,383
I mean, that's...
that's a little tone deaf
260
00:10:59,418 --> 00:11:01,282
- for little people, don't you...
- What?
261
00:11:01,316 --> 00:11:04,181
He's called Fidget
'cause he's always fidgeting.
262
00:11:04,216 --> 00:11:06,390
That's how he always loses his glasses
263
00:11:06,425 --> 00:11:08,530
and gets into these
ridiculous scenarios.
264
00:11:08,565 --> 00:11:10,610
- That's not it.
- I gotta go talk to him.
265
00:11:10,611 --> 00:11:12,396
No, you're not. You're dead. Stay dead.
266
00:11:12,431 --> 00:11:13,998
- I have to talk to my father.
- Absolutely not.
267
00:11:13,999 --> 00:11:16,173
- Don't you dare.
- I'll wear a disguise.
268
00:11:16,778 --> 00:11:20,069
After all my shows,
I'd play my signature song.
269
00:11:20,767 --> 00:11:23,079
It was called "Nate Song."
270
00:11:23,235 --> 00:11:25,513
It's about a little boy
named Nate Parker.
271
00:11:33,245 --> 00:11:35,074
♪ Oh, Nate, Nate ♪
272
00:11:35,109 --> 00:11:36,839
♪ You are so, so great ♪
273
00:11:37,273 --> 00:11:40,731
♪ You were torn away
from me in grade eight ♪
274
00:11:41,322 --> 00:11:44,070
♪ So many things I should've saids ♪
275
00:11:45,185 --> 00:11:48,797
♪ Wish I taught ya yer A to Zeds ♪
276
00:11:49,606 --> 00:11:52,298
♪ I bet you think I'm not of your ilk ♪
277
00:11:52,333 --> 00:11:56,167
♪ But I know we love our homo milk ♪
278
00:11:56,168 --> 00:11:59,778
♪ Oh, Nate, Nate, Nate,
you are so, so great ♪
279
00:12:00,341 --> 00:12:03,549
♪ Let's hop on the Rideau
and go for a skate ♪
280
00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:07,589
♪ When I'm on TV, I'm a grade A kook ♪
281
00:12:07,624 --> 00:12:09,522
♪ When I'm off, I just want to hug ya ♪
282
00:12:09,557 --> 00:12:11,287
♪ Like a big wool toque ♪
283
00:12:11,664 --> 00:12:12,906
♪ Oh, boy ♪
284
00:12:13,042 --> 00:12:15,078
♪ I wish I could see
you Could see you. ♪
285
00:12:15,287 --> 00:12:16,370
♪ Just know Just know... ♪
286
00:12:16,371 --> 00:12:21,629
♪ I'm 1,609.34 kilometers away
I'm 1,609.34 kilometers away ♪
287
00:12:22,432 --> 00:12:24,986
Both: ♪ Oh, Nate, Nate ♪
288
00:12:25,021 --> 00:12:26,988
♪ The great Nate ♪
289
00:12:27,023 --> 00:12:30,543
♪ The greatest of the Nates
for greatness' sake ♪
290
00:12:30,578 --> 00:12:34,996
♪ Go, Nate, Nate, the great Nate ♪
291
00:12:35,031 --> 00:12:36,536
♪ The greatest of the Nates ♪
292
00:12:37,052 --> 00:12:38,789
♪ For greatness' sake ♪
293
00:12:49,666 --> 00:12:52,048
I can't do this anymore!
Stop! Everyone stop!
294
00:12:52,082 --> 00:12:53,094
This isn't right.
295
00:12:53,676 --> 00:12:54,861
You're right.
296
00:12:55,016 --> 00:12:56,362
I should have done a funny character
297
00:12:56,397 --> 00:12:57,432
and cheered everyone up.
298
00:12:57,467 --> 00:12:59,607
No. No. My dad's still alive.
299
00:12:59,641 --> 00:13:01,405
- What?
- I can't handle this anymore.
300
00:13:01,459 --> 00:13:03,231
- Oh, shit.
- Dad, come out! Dad!
301
00:13:03,266 --> 00:13:04,646
Wh... What are are you doing?
302
00:13:04,681 --> 00:13:06,614
Poor little dipshit's in denial.
303
00:13:06,648 --> 00:13:08,512
Think's his dad's the curtain.
304
00:13:08,547 --> 00:13:10,756
No, you dumb shithead,
he's actually alive.
305
00:13:11,860 --> 00:13:14,035
You're in shock, yeah?
There's no one behind there.
306
00:13:14,070 --> 00:13:15,657
Why don't you take a seat, buddy?
307
00:13:15,692 --> 00:13:17,452
No, I'm done pretending.
308
00:13:20,352 --> 00:13:22,354
This is ridiculous!
309
00:13:22,388 --> 00:13:23,665
Someone help me get down this curtain.
310
00:13:23,700 --> 00:13:25,529
I'll show you he's still alive. Okay.
311
00:13:25,564 --> 00:13:26,599
He's just...
312
00:13:28,394 --> 00:13:29,499
What the...
313
00:13:29,533 --> 00:13:32,467
Dad, where... Where are you?!
314
00:13:32,502 --> 00:13:33,744
What the...
315
00:13:33,779 --> 00:13:35,470
What the hell?
316
00:13:35,517 --> 00:13:36,997
Dad, what the hell?!
317
00:13:37,183 --> 00:13:38,297
What the...
318
00:13:40,251 --> 00:13:42,356
I-I-I swear he was just here!
319
00:13:42,512 --> 00:13:43,957
You...
320
00:13:43,958 --> 00:13:46,378
I don't know what happened. I...
321
00:13:46,412 --> 00:13:48,345
Well, then I guess
he really is dead, then.
322
00:13:51,728 --> 00:13:52,763
What the...
323
00:13:52,798 --> 00:13:54,696
Dad?
324
00:14:01,324 --> 00:14:02,359
Nate?
325
00:14:02,394 --> 00:14:05,086
This is outrageous!
326
00:14:05,121 --> 00:14:07,274
How could you?!
327
00:14:07,275 --> 00:14:11,230
What?! What?! What?!
328
00:14:11,265 --> 00:14:14,371
Give it a rest, Mom. I've seen enough.
329
00:14:14,406 --> 00:14:17,478
You guys are unbelievable.
330
00:14:20,481 --> 00:14:23,587
Man, I got to tell you, Robin,
that thing I said earlier
331
00:14:23,622 --> 00:14:27,695
about consoling you sexually,
that stuff... still stands.
332
00:14:27,729 --> 00:14:28,779
No.
333
00:14:29,060 --> 00:14:30,060
Just so you know,
334
00:14:30,061 --> 00:14:32,480
I don't blame you for any of this.
335
00:14:32,838 --> 00:14:35,703
Your mom told me all about Robin.
336
00:14:35,737 --> 00:14:37,705
It must be miserable.
337
00:14:37,739 --> 00:14:38,964
It's fine.
338
00:14:39,362 --> 00:14:42,813
If you need an escape,
I've got open arms,
339
00:14:43,607 --> 00:14:47,693
a warm bed, and so much money.
340
00:14:48,949 --> 00:14:50,322
I'm fine.
341
00:14:50,362 --> 00:14:51,708
You know, I never stopped loving you.
342
00:14:51,856 --> 00:14:53,133
Right?
343
00:14:53,169 --> 00:14:54,794
- I know.
- Yeah?
344
00:14:55,414 --> 00:14:56,551
I can't. I can't...
345
00:14:56,586 --> 00:14:57,690
No, no. No, no. Oh!
346
00:14:57,725 --> 00:14:59,058
- Stop, stop, stop.
- Hi. I'm right here.
347
00:14:59,126 --> 00:15:00,493
- I'm here. I'm right here.
- She's there.
348
00:15:00,495 --> 00:15:01,418
- He's...
- He's fine.
349
00:15:01,465 --> 00:15:03,033
He's fine. He's fine.He's...
He's gonna be okay.
350
00:15:03,034 --> 00:15:04,158
- Yeah.
- Thanks.
351
00:15:04,211 --> 00:15:06,423
This was the saddest day of my life,
352
00:15:06,458 --> 00:15:07,838
and you ruined it.
353
00:15:07,873 --> 00:15:09,702
Oh, come on, Mom.
We were gonna tell you.
354
00:15:09,737 --> 00:15:12,636
We were backstage debating
and then Dad showed up...
355
00:15:12,671 --> 00:15:14,431
Hold on. Hold on!
356
00:15:14,466 --> 00:15:16,709
Why am I apologizing to you? Okay?
357
00:15:16,744 --> 00:15:18,711
What kind of parent tells their own kid
358
00:15:18,746 --> 00:15:20,101
that their father is dead?
359
00:15:27,304 --> 00:15:30,145
I'm gonna ignore your
obvious hypocrisy,
360
00:15:30,146 --> 00:15:33,174
since I'm sure it's difficult
rising from the dead
361
00:15:33,209 --> 00:15:35,452
after falling from the ceiling.
362
00:15:35,487 --> 00:15:37,592
Speaking of which, would you get up?
363
00:15:37,627 --> 00:15:38,904
I can't. Okay?
364
00:15:39,342 --> 00:15:40,871
I'm stuck in a chair.
365
00:15:40,906 --> 00:15:42,908
Why wouldn't you tell me about Dad?
366
00:15:42,942 --> 00:15:44,668
Especially that dad?
367
00:15:44,703 --> 00:15:46,601
He's so awesome. He's Canadian.
368
00:15:46,636 --> 00:15:48,189
There is nothing awesome
369
00:15:48,224 --> 00:15:50,329
about a nation of average people.
370
00:15:50,330 --> 00:15:52,607
He was Blu Brown. He was Fidget.
371
00:15:52,642 --> 00:15:54,885
He was a selfish shit rat
372
00:15:54,920 --> 00:15:58,475
who took our rent money
to buy his music lessons.
373
00:15:58,510 --> 00:16:01,478
To share his gift of song
with the world.
374
00:16:01,513 --> 00:16:04,343
Have you ever heard a
grown man with no talent
375
00:16:04,378 --> 00:16:06,855
practice saxophone in a trailer?
376
00:16:07,089 --> 00:16:10,195
I wanted to cut my [bleep] ears off.
377
00:16:16,286 --> 00:16:18,495
Oo, la, la!
378
00:16:18,530 --> 00:16:21,947
Look who's here to cheer you up!
379
00:16:21,981 --> 00:16:25,709
C'est moi, Fidget!
380
00:16:30,297 --> 00:16:32,782
This is your dead son, you idiot.
381
00:16:32,958 --> 00:16:35,409
I was trying to...
382
00:16:35,443 --> 00:16:36,789
What?
383
00:16:38,688 --> 00:16:40,221
I'm Nate.
384
00:16:41,996 --> 00:16:43,520
F-From "Nate's Song."
385
00:16:44,501 --> 00:16:45,876
No.
386
00:16:46,557 --> 00:16:48,164
"Nate's Song's" about me, Nate.
387
00:16:48,165 --> 00:16:50,281
No, it's about... It's about
a little kid named Nate.
388
00:16:50,282 --> 00:16:52,840
Yeah, the hurt little child
inside of me.
389
00:16:52,879 --> 00:16:54,784
S-Still, I'm mean, it's... it's...
390
00:16:55,822 --> 00:16:57,035
I'm your son.
391
00:16:58,235 --> 00:16:59,789
Huh.
392
00:16:59,985 --> 00:17:01,538
That's... That's it?
That's all you got?
393
00:17:01,573 --> 00:17:02,677
I...
394
00:17:02,712 --> 00:17:05,197
'Cause I got s-so much to ask you.
395
00:17:05,232 --> 00:17:07,475
Like, "What's your
real origin story of Fidget?"
396
00:17:07,510 --> 00:17:09,684
Well, no. I mean, yes. Yes, of course.
397
00:17:09,719 --> 00:17:10,857
I mean, who wouldn't want to know that?
398
00:17:10,858 --> 00:17:12,158
There's so many fan theories out there,
399
00:17:12,205 --> 00:17:13,939
but if you told everyone,
it'd break the Internet...
400
00:17:13,940 --> 00:17:14,940
French...
401
00:17:15,591 --> 00:17:16,602
midget.
402
00:17:16,656 --> 00:17:17,684
Oh.
403
00:17:17,727 --> 00:17:18,831
Mm-mm.
404
00:17:18,866 --> 00:17:21,077
That's offensive.
405
00:17:22,007 --> 00:17:23,767
Why'd you walk out on me?
406
00:17:23,802 --> 00:17:25,597
Oh, boy, I can see
you're a couple elbows short
407
00:17:25,631 --> 00:17:27,396
of Kraft Dinner, but it's okay.
408
00:17:27,397 --> 00:17:29,435
I forgive you for holding me back.
409
00:17:30,335 --> 00:17:31,465
What?
410
00:17:31,499 --> 00:17:33,432
You retarded my gifts
for comedy and song
411
00:17:33,467 --> 00:17:34,468
for seven long years.
412
00:17:34,502 --> 00:17:35,710
No, man, you can't use that word.
413
00:17:35,745 --> 00:17:37,885
Oh, and what is a woman
know about comedy?
414
00:17:37,919 --> 00:17:39,300
Next thing you're gonna tell me is,
415
00:17:39,335 --> 00:17:41,066
I can't do my Fretard character
416
00:17:41,339 --> 00:17:44,650
Bonjour, je m'appelle Fretard.
417
00:17:44,685 --> 00:17:46,236
- Whoa!
- No, no. Holy shit.
418
00:17:46,237 --> 00:17:47,687
No. You can't do that.
419
00:17:47,688 --> 00:17:49,447
Nate, you understand.
420
00:17:49,759 --> 00:17:52,762
Every transcendent artist
has to make a choice
421
00:17:52,796 --> 00:17:54,579
between what he loves...
422
00:17:55,627 --> 00:17:56,960
and his family.
423
00:17:57,284 --> 00:17:59,712
I love saying I told you so.
424
00:18:02,775 --> 00:18:04,457
I needed a father.
425
00:18:04,583 --> 00:18:07,241
And that is exactly
the selfish behavior
426
00:18:07,363 --> 00:18:08,605
that I'm forgiving you for.
427
00:18:08,640 --> 00:18:09,930
What was I supposed to be?
428
00:18:09,931 --> 00:18:11,125
A father to one,
429
00:18:11,159 --> 00:18:14,404
or Blu Brown, Fidget,
and Fretard to the world.
430
00:18:14,439 --> 00:18:16,026
Hold on... how many people in this room
431
00:18:16,061 --> 00:18:17,649
know who this idiot is?
432
00:18:17,696 --> 00:18:18,939
Okay!
433
00:18:20,368 --> 00:18:21,397
Nate...
434
00:18:21,411 --> 00:18:23,413
it is not my fault that your mother
435
00:18:23,448 --> 00:18:25,967
is half a two-nie shy
of two loonies, eh?
436
00:18:26,002 --> 00:18:28,556
She ought to get off the
Mickey's and the Du Mauriers.
437
00:18:28,591 --> 00:18:29,937
Speak English, please!
438
00:18:29,971 --> 00:18:31,490
Your mother was garage.
439
00:18:31,525 --> 00:18:33,838
She taught you nothing
but anger and hate.
440
00:18:34,562 --> 00:18:36,701
Yeah, you're right.
She did teach me that.
441
00:18:37,082 --> 00:18:39,299
And you know what else she taught me?
442
00:18:39,671 --> 00:18:41,051
How to throw a punch.
443
00:18:41,086 --> 00:18:42,639
Ah, shit.
444
00:18:42,674 --> 00:18:43,813
Oh!
445
00:18:43,847 --> 00:18:45,780
Whoa!
446
00:18:45,815 --> 00:18:47,644
Not as fast as your old man, are you?
447
00:18:47,678 --> 00:18:49,200
- Shit!
- You know, in Tijuana,
448
00:18:49,201 --> 00:18:52,022
it costs 10 pesos to
watch a fidget fight.
449
00:18:52,023 --> 00:18:54,197
Of course, they throw in a hand job.
450
00:18:54,686 --> 00:18:57,067
Come on, you pussy. Get up and fight.
451
00:19:01,676 --> 00:19:03,235
Hit him!
452
00:19:04,592 --> 00:19:06,870
You wouldn't hit your
own father, would you?
453
00:19:09,406 --> 00:19:10,748
"Father."
454
00:19:12,842 --> 00:19:15,707
A father does whatever it takes
to keep his family together.
455
00:19:15,741 --> 00:19:18,345
Even when it comes
to doing crazy shit like this.
456
00:19:19,849 --> 00:19:21,200
You're not my father.
457
00:19:21,851 --> 00:19:23,887
You could be right about that.
458
00:19:23,922 --> 00:19:26,614
I was riding a lot of
dick back in the '70s.
459
00:19:26,649 --> 00:19:28,616
I just picked this idiot to raise you,
460
00:19:28,651 --> 00:19:30,825
'cause he was the biggest
cuck in the world.
461
00:19:34,333 --> 00:19:36,722
Just go back to Canada, you sad clown.
462
00:20:08,173 --> 00:20:09,243
Hey!
463
00:20:09,277 --> 00:20:11,901
Why are you here?
Why aren't you at Dad's funeral?
464
00:20:11,935 --> 00:20:13,143
I was just going there.
465
00:20:13,178 --> 00:20:14,593
Don't bother. He's not dead.
466
00:20:14,628 --> 00:20:17,756
Mother [bleep]! What a [bleeping]!
467
00:20:17,757 --> 00:20:18,873
I knew it!
468
00:20:18,908 --> 00:20:20,408
You know, I thought a lot
about what you said,
469
00:20:20,409 --> 00:20:21,600
and I want to go with you.
470
00:20:21,635 --> 00:20:23,326
I like you so much more
than I like our parents.
471
00:20:23,327 --> 00:20:25,155
Do you really want to go to Russia?
472
00:20:25,621 --> 00:20:27,192
They won't even notice I'm gone.
473
00:20:27,226 --> 00:20:28,745
Where are they? Where are they?
474
00:20:28,780 --> 00:20:30,057
- I don't know!
- They were right here!
475
00:20:30,091 --> 00:20:32,473
- I didn't see them, Nate.
- Oh, my God, you lose one,
476
00:20:32,508 --> 00:20:33,811
and now you're telling me
they're both gone.
477
00:20:33,813 --> 00:20:34,820
It's not my fault.
478
00:20:34,855 --> 00:20:36,201
God. What, are they hiding?
479
00:20:36,235 --> 00:20:37,651
Huh? Are you in here?
480
00:20:37,685 --> 00:20:38,755
Huh? Hey, guys!
481
00:20:38,796 --> 00:20:40,038
You under here hiding?
482
00:20:40,067 --> 00:20:41,067
Oh!
483
00:20:44,727 --> 00:20:46,095
- Found 'em.
- Yeah.
484
00:20:46,352 --> 00:20:49,009
This is why you don't take
'em out of the glass case.
485
00:20:49,145 --> 00:20:50,767
Where do you think Jared went?
486
00:20:50,802 --> 00:20:51,906
Who? Ah.
487
00:20:51,941 --> 00:20:53,275
I don't know. He's
around here somewhere.
488
00:20:53,276 --> 00:20:54,495
All right. All right, let's go.
489
00:20:54,530 --> 00:20:56,635
- Take your boxes. Let's go.
- Jared?
490
00:20:56,670 --> 00:20:57,947
Let's go.
34799
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