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♪ Thank you for being a friend
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00:00:05,505 --> 00:00:08,440
♪ Traveled down the roadand back again
3
00:00:09,342 --> 00:00:11,109
♪ Your heart is true
4
00:00:11,177 --> 00:00:14,946
♪ You're a pal and a confidant
5
00:00:16,415 --> 00:00:19,617
♪ And if you threw a party
6
00:00:19,685 --> 00:00:23,220
♪ Invited everyone you knew
7
00:00:24,623 --> 00:00:26,124
♪ You would see
8
00:00:26,192 --> 00:00:28,592
♪ The biggest giftwould be from me
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00:00:28,660 --> 00:00:31,562
♪ And the card attachedwould say
10
00:00:31,630 --> 00:00:37,269
♪ Thank youfor being a friend ♪
11
00:01:07,933 --> 00:01:09,334
What are you doin', Rose?
12
00:01:09,402 --> 00:01:11,603
I'm wrapping
Miles' birthday present.
13
00:01:11,671 --> 00:01:13,505
I got him a golf club.
14
00:01:15,174 --> 00:01:18,009
But don't tell him.
It's a surprise.
15
00:01:18,077 --> 00:01:20,445
Rose, honey, you've got
to use some imagination.
16
00:01:20,513 --> 00:01:22,880
Now, I know what men like
for their birthdays.
17
00:01:22,948 --> 00:01:25,217
They like a surprise that
makes their libidos stand up
18
00:01:25,284 --> 00:01:27,085
and say, "Hello, there."
19
00:01:27,853 --> 00:01:29,321
Oh, I know!
20
00:01:29,388 --> 00:01:31,823
You can give Miles one of
those boudoir photographs.
21
00:01:31,890 --> 00:01:35,159
You know, where you pose for
pictures in sexy lingerie?
22
00:01:35,228 --> 00:01:38,363
Oh, I don't know.
I'd feel cheap like...
23
00:01:38,431 --> 00:01:39,431
Well, like you.
24
00:01:42,801 --> 00:01:46,338
Oh, Rose, come on,
it's a great idea.
25
00:01:46,405 --> 00:01:48,273
The pictures are
just an intimate way
26
00:01:48,341 --> 00:01:51,776
to let a fellow know he's the
one and only man in your life.
27
00:01:51,844 --> 00:01:54,212
I've done it 20, 30 times.
28
00:01:56,616 --> 00:02:00,118
Oh, Dorothy, how would you
feel about a birthday present
29
00:02:00,185 --> 00:02:02,554
of a picture of me
in sexy lingerie?
30
00:02:04,957 --> 00:02:06,625
I'd rather have the cash.
31
00:02:09,328 --> 00:02:11,696
Actually, it's not for you.
It's for Miles.
32
00:02:11,764 --> 00:02:13,398
He'd rather have the cash.
33
00:02:15,167 --> 00:02:16,968
Wait a minute.
Are you talking about
34
00:02:17,035 --> 00:02:21,172
those ridiculous pictures Blanche
puts on her Christmas cards?
35
00:02:21,240 --> 00:02:25,243
Those cards are a moving tribute
to the spirit of the season.
36
00:02:25,311 --> 00:02:26,645
A moving tribute?
37
00:02:26,712 --> 00:02:29,080
The three wise men
and you in a teddy
38
00:02:29,148 --> 00:02:30,682
following the Christmas star?
39
00:02:32,418 --> 00:02:34,819
Listen, Rose, if you're not
doing anything right now,
40
00:02:34,887 --> 00:02:36,888
why don't you come with me
to Career Day at school?
41
00:02:36,955 --> 00:02:38,189
And after I finish speaking,
42
00:02:38,257 --> 00:02:40,892
we can go out shopping
for a gift for Miles.
43
00:02:40,959 --> 00:02:42,694
You're speaking at Career Day?
44
00:02:42,762 --> 00:02:44,829
Yeah. Not that I want to.
45
00:02:44,897 --> 00:02:47,599
They have me working in the
"Careers in Teaching" booth.
46
00:02:47,667 --> 00:02:49,601
Oh, Miles is gonna
be there, too,
47
00:02:49,669 --> 00:02:51,536
speaking about
teaching in college.
48
00:02:51,604 --> 00:02:55,540
Oh, speaking at Career Day
is quite a responsibility.
49
00:02:55,608 --> 00:02:58,543
I still remember Career Day
back in St. Olaf.
50
00:03:00,713 --> 00:03:03,682
Check, please.
51
00:03:03,749 --> 00:03:08,687
Gunther Hanchap, St. Olaf's leading
shepherd and notary, came to speak.
52
00:03:08,754 --> 00:03:11,389
(SIGHS) It was so moving
when he talked
53
00:03:11,457 --> 00:03:13,958
about his solitary existence
with the sheep.
54
00:03:17,296 --> 00:03:20,832
No human contact
for months at a time.
55
00:03:20,899 --> 00:03:26,137
(EXCLAIMS) Just building a special
relationship with God's simple creatures.
56
00:03:26,205 --> 00:03:28,540
I really wanted to help.
57
00:03:28,607 --> 00:03:30,208
So you decided to
become a shepherd?
58
00:03:30,275 --> 00:03:34,212
No. I decided to give
Gunther a case of Scotch.
59
00:03:35,581 --> 00:03:36,881
And he really appreciated it,
60
00:03:36,949 --> 00:03:40,184
until he discovered
what mean drunks sheep are.
61
00:03:43,922 --> 00:03:46,524
They're kind of like cows
when they're drunk.
62
00:03:46,592 --> 00:03:47,559
You know what I mean?
63
00:03:49,161 --> 00:03:52,163
Actually, that shepherd
was probably better qualified
64
00:03:52,231 --> 00:03:54,031
to speak at Career Day than I.
65
00:03:54,099 --> 00:03:55,867
I mean, how can I tell the kids
66
00:03:55,934 --> 00:03:57,769
how rewarding teaching is
67
00:03:57,837 --> 00:04:00,137
when I really don't
feel that way anymore?
68
00:04:00,205 --> 00:04:02,674
And I'm... I'm so frustrated.
69
00:04:02,742 --> 00:04:05,410
Budgets are tight.
Classes are crowded.
70
00:04:05,478 --> 00:04:09,180
If I'm lucky, I get to
substitute an English class.
71
00:04:09,248 --> 00:04:12,250
But usually it's...
Oh, I can't even say it.
72
00:04:12,317 --> 00:04:13,752
Driver's Ed?
73
00:04:15,020 --> 00:04:18,356
God, how I hate putting up
those damn cones.
74
00:04:21,093 --> 00:04:23,595
Oh, Dorothy, come on.
Now, you'll do just fine.
75
00:04:23,662 --> 00:04:26,765
I will never forget Career
Day at my high school.
76
00:04:26,832 --> 00:04:28,800
It was a turning
point in my life.
77
00:04:28,868 --> 00:04:32,036
That was the day I decided I was
gonna marry a man who had one.
78
00:04:37,576 --> 00:04:41,078
Anyway, as I was saying,
teaching has many rewards,
79
00:04:41,146 --> 00:04:44,949
but none so great as knowing that
you've passed on the tradition
80
00:04:45,017 --> 00:04:46,885
of American education.
81
00:04:46,952 --> 00:04:48,887
Now, are there any questions?
82
00:04:48,954 --> 00:04:52,123
Yes, Mrs. Zbornak, what does Joe
have to say about all this?
83
00:04:52,190 --> 00:04:54,526
Joe who?
Jo mama!
84
00:05:00,466 --> 00:05:03,668
Rose, I think we ought to call
that boudoir photographer today
85
00:05:03,736 --> 00:05:04,836
and make an appointment.
86
00:05:04,904 --> 00:05:06,738
Blanche, I told you,
I am not gonna do it.
87
00:05:06,806 --> 00:05:08,940
Well, then you are
makin' a big mistake.
88
00:05:09,007 --> 00:05:10,809
If you don't make yourself
more interesting to Miles,
89
00:05:10,876 --> 00:05:12,610
you're gonna lose him.
90
00:05:12,678 --> 00:05:15,179
Listen, he's at school
every day with other women
91
00:05:15,247 --> 00:05:16,681
just lookin' for trouble.
92
00:05:16,749 --> 00:05:18,215
Oh, no, he is not.
93
00:05:18,283 --> 00:05:21,419
Okay, look at him right now
talkin' to that young thing.
94
00:05:21,487 --> 00:05:23,688
I know exactly
what he's sayin', too.
95
00:05:23,756 --> 00:05:25,824
He's sayin', "Hey, Cindy,
96
00:05:25,891 --> 00:05:30,462
"why don't I buy you a drink?
Or, even better, let's both get naked."
97
00:05:32,030 --> 00:05:33,765
(IN A HIGH VOICE)
"Why that is a great idea.
98
00:05:33,833 --> 00:05:35,700
"And I would say
yes in a minute,
99
00:05:35,768 --> 00:05:37,602
"but I thought you
had a girlfriend."
100
00:05:37,670 --> 00:05:40,404
(IN A LOW VOICE) "Aw, we have
an understandin', honey.
101
00:05:42,341 --> 00:05:44,175
"I don't tell her
I'm foolin' around,
102
00:05:44,242 --> 00:05:46,945
"and she doesn't ask any questions.
Heh, heh, heh."
103
00:05:47,012 --> 00:05:49,080
Blanche! I think I've
heard just about enough.
104
00:05:49,147 --> 00:05:50,648
I don't want to hear
another word about this.
105
00:05:50,716 --> 00:05:52,249
All right. All right.
Have it your way.
106
00:05:52,317 --> 00:05:55,019
We have to get
to the photographer now!
107
00:05:56,121 --> 00:05:57,956
And so,
are there any questions?
108
00:05:58,023 --> 00:06:01,826
Yeah. What does "Joe" have
to say about all this?
109
00:06:01,894 --> 00:06:03,394
(ALL LAUGHING)
110
00:06:08,467 --> 00:06:10,935
Mrs. Zbornak?
That's right.
111
00:06:11,003 --> 00:06:14,205
You taught English.
Eastwick High? 1975?
112
00:06:14,272 --> 00:06:16,541
When Mr. Martinez
had his sex change?
113
00:06:18,511 --> 00:06:22,046
Yes, I was there
for the whole semester
114
00:06:22,114 --> 00:06:24,649
while he went
shopping for new clothes.
115
00:06:25,651 --> 00:06:26,885
How's he doing?
116
00:06:26,952 --> 00:06:29,220
He married Mr. Adkins,
the gym teacher.
117
00:06:29,788 --> 00:06:30,989
Do I know you?
118
00:06:31,056 --> 00:06:32,757
Oh, you probably
don't remember.
119
00:06:32,825 --> 00:06:34,759
Randy Becker?
American Lit?
120
00:06:35,561 --> 00:06:37,395
Of course I...
121
00:06:37,462 --> 00:06:39,463
My God,
what are you doing here?
122
00:06:39,532 --> 00:06:42,066
That's my booth
over there, Borealis.
123
00:06:42,134 --> 00:06:46,237
Ah, Randy "Mr. Ditch" Becker.
124
00:06:46,304 --> 00:06:49,974
And I knew where you were
ditching every time, too.
125
00:06:50,042 --> 00:06:53,444
At the arcade,
wasting hour after hour,
126
00:06:53,512 --> 00:06:58,382
day after day playing those
senseless pinball machines.
127
00:06:58,450 --> 00:07:00,084
Boy, look at you now.
128
00:07:00,152 --> 00:07:01,753
Tell me,
what business are you in?
129
00:07:01,820 --> 00:07:03,821
Video games.
130
00:07:03,889 --> 00:07:05,823
I've made millions
in video games.
131
00:07:06,692 --> 00:07:08,225
Oh, this is so strange.
132
00:07:08,293 --> 00:07:10,929
You know, you teach kids
year after year, but you...
133
00:07:10,996 --> 00:07:12,997
You never know
how they turn out.
134
00:07:13,065 --> 00:07:15,900
Look at you.
You turned out just great.
135
00:07:15,968 --> 00:07:18,670
(LAUGHS) Hey, '75 was
a big year for me.
136
00:07:18,737 --> 00:07:20,972
My grades were in the toilet.
137
00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:22,740
I was ready to bail.
138
00:07:22,808 --> 00:07:25,409
Till they brought
in "Atilla The Sub."
139
00:07:27,846 --> 00:07:29,547
I loved that name.
140
00:07:31,149 --> 00:07:32,984
I earned that name.
141
00:07:33,852 --> 00:07:37,288
Boy, you really got on my case.
142
00:07:37,355 --> 00:07:39,423
I appreciate what
you did, Mrs. Zbornak.
143
00:07:39,491 --> 00:07:41,525
Oh, please. Tilla.
144
00:07:43,195 --> 00:07:45,930
You know,
I just had the craziest idea.
145
00:07:45,998 --> 00:07:48,933
If you can inspire
goof-off kids like me,
146
00:07:49,001 --> 00:07:51,302
think what you could do
with my sales force.
147
00:07:51,369 --> 00:07:53,037
What're you talking about?
148
00:07:53,105 --> 00:07:54,672
Well, it just
so happens that I need
149
00:07:54,740 --> 00:07:56,273
a motivational trainer,
a teacher.
150
00:07:56,341 --> 00:07:57,408
You'd be perfect.
151
00:07:57,476 --> 00:08:00,778
Randy Becker,
are you offering me a job?
152
00:08:00,846 --> 00:08:03,014
The benefits are pretty good,
the pay's great,
153
00:08:03,082 --> 00:08:05,216
and you'd have a health plan.
Well...
154
00:08:05,283 --> 00:08:08,753
I just have to see what Joe
has to say about all of this.
155
00:08:08,821 --> 00:08:10,955
Oh, you...
You just have to see
156
00:08:11,023 --> 00:08:14,092
what Joe has to say
about all this, huh?
157
00:08:14,159 --> 00:08:17,528
And this Joe, would he
happen to be "Jo mama"?
158
00:08:22,400 --> 00:08:25,803
Uh, Joe Stewart.
He's my business partner.
159
00:08:25,871 --> 00:08:30,374
Oh, of course.
No, Joe Mama's with IBM.
160
00:08:38,651 --> 00:08:40,785
Are you going to take Rose
to that dirty picture place?
161
00:08:40,853 --> 00:08:43,154
Yep. I'm just sorry
I didn't think of it
162
00:08:43,221 --> 00:08:45,657
in time to have
her picture painted.
163
00:08:45,724 --> 00:08:48,592
I've always wanted
to sit for a portrait.
164
00:08:48,661 --> 00:08:50,928
An artist could use his palette
165
00:08:50,996 --> 00:08:54,398
to bring out my
distinctive personality,
166
00:08:54,466 --> 00:08:56,734
my Southern fieriness.
167
00:08:56,802 --> 00:08:59,370
He could showcase
my inner beauty.
168
00:08:59,437 --> 00:09:01,906
Plus, he could cheat
and paint your head to scale.
169
00:09:04,409 --> 00:09:07,045
Well, how do I look?
170
00:09:07,112 --> 00:09:09,580
Look at Dorothy,
ready for her first day
171
00:09:09,648 --> 00:09:12,383
as a successful businesswoman.
172
00:09:12,450 --> 00:09:13,785
Go get 'em, tiger.
173
00:09:13,852 --> 00:09:16,287
You look wonderful, Dorothy,
174
00:09:16,354 --> 00:09:17,989
but don't you think
those shoulder pads
175
00:09:18,057 --> 00:09:20,825
make you seem
a little aggressive?
176
00:09:20,893 --> 00:09:22,727
I'm not wearing shoulder pads.
177
00:09:25,164 --> 00:09:26,164
Oh.
178
00:09:26,231 --> 00:09:27,231
(LAUGHING)
179
00:09:28,701 --> 00:09:32,070
Well, in that case,
go get 'em, tiger.
180
00:09:32,137 --> 00:09:33,971
You know, Ma,
I've been thinking.
181
00:09:34,039 --> 00:09:35,807
Since I got a raise in salary,
182
00:09:35,874 --> 00:09:38,042
you should get one
in your allowance, too.
183
00:09:38,110 --> 00:09:40,578
And you ask why
I love this woman?
184
00:09:40,645 --> 00:09:43,715
Somebody deserves
a hug for that.
185
00:09:43,782 --> 00:09:47,518
But before I do, let's find out
exactly how much I love you.
186
00:09:49,621 --> 00:09:52,623
Ah, come on.
I love you more than that.
187
00:09:52,691 --> 00:09:54,759
Stan loved you more than that.
188
00:09:56,661 --> 00:09:58,229
Love, love, love that woman.
189
00:09:58,296 --> 00:09:59,296
(DOROTHY LAUGHS)
190
00:10:00,799 --> 00:10:04,401
Well, I'm off.
Wish me luck.
191
00:10:04,469 --> 00:10:06,771
Oh, wait a minute, pussycat,
I almost forgot.
192
00:10:06,839 --> 00:10:08,405
I packed your lunch.
193
00:10:10,709 --> 00:10:13,577
Oh, Ma,
you didn't have to do that.
194
00:10:13,645 --> 00:10:16,280
I wanted to. Besides,
it's the exact same lunch
195
00:10:16,348 --> 00:10:18,549
I packed you on your
first day of school. Oh.
196
00:10:18,617 --> 00:10:20,384
Salami and a thermos of wine.
197
00:10:23,889 --> 00:10:26,724
Remember, Dorothy, when you
go to work today, be proud.
198
00:10:26,792 --> 00:10:29,493
You're a Petrillo,
which in Italian means,
199
00:10:29,561 --> 00:10:31,129
"Hey, I'm on a break here."
200
00:10:35,333 --> 00:10:36,667
I'm ready.
201
00:10:42,207 --> 00:10:45,643
Where are you
going with that thing?
202
00:10:45,710 --> 00:10:48,212
This is what I'm wearing
for the photographer.
203
00:10:50,382 --> 00:10:53,651
It's the nightgown that
makes Miles, you know, hot.
204
00:10:55,254 --> 00:10:57,354
Maybe it's the,
you know, flannel.
205
00:10:59,658 --> 00:11:01,225
Rose, you don't understand.
206
00:11:01,293 --> 00:11:03,194
You cannot wear something that
Miles sees you in all the time.
207
00:11:03,262 --> 00:11:04,561
Honey, this is fantasy.
208
00:11:04,629 --> 00:11:05,997
You have to dress up
to please him.
209
00:11:06,064 --> 00:11:08,299
Now, maybe I can help you
come up with a costume.
210
00:11:08,366 --> 00:11:09,700
What's he like?
211
00:11:09,768 --> 00:11:12,469
Well, he's serious,
and conservative,
212
00:11:12,537 --> 00:11:15,139
and concerned
about the world around him.
213
00:11:15,207 --> 00:11:17,608
I know, a nursie.
He'd like a nursie.
214
00:11:24,249 --> 00:11:29,153
Good afternoon, gentlemen.
My name is Dorothy Zbornak,
215
00:11:29,220 --> 00:11:33,157
and for the next week we will be
exploring the skills involved
216
00:11:33,224 --> 00:11:37,361
in articulating ideas and
relating them to other people.
217
00:11:37,428 --> 00:11:39,396
(ALL GROANING)
218
00:11:39,464 --> 00:11:42,633
Now I realize a lot of you haven't
been in a classroom in years,
219
00:11:42,701 --> 00:11:45,770
but I promise you,
this will not be like school.
220
00:11:45,837 --> 00:11:48,673
I have already read the book for
the class, which is interesting,
221
00:11:48,740 --> 00:11:52,509
and I've also completed all the
assignments for the class.
222
00:11:52,577 --> 00:11:54,511
Plus, this is a special
report that I have written
223
00:11:54,579 --> 00:11:58,448
based on the extra research
that I have done for the class.
224
00:11:58,516 --> 00:12:00,851
We're never gonna beat
you people, are we?
225
00:12:03,989 --> 00:12:07,158
Now the rest of us have a lot
of material to cover today
226
00:12:07,225 --> 00:12:08,625
if we don't want
to fall behind.
227
00:12:08,694 --> 00:12:11,195
You're not really
gonna teach, are you?
228
00:12:11,262 --> 00:12:12,930
Well, that is the idea.
229
00:12:12,998 --> 00:12:16,233
Look, listen, lady, we're here
because we know how to do our jobs.
230
00:12:16,301 --> 00:12:18,703
That's why they gave us
a free week in Miami.
231
00:12:18,770 --> 00:12:20,971
I mean, usually we come
to a seminar like this
232
00:12:21,039 --> 00:12:22,139
and you check off our names
233
00:12:22,207 --> 00:12:23,874
and we go play some golf.
234
00:12:23,942 --> 00:12:25,609
You're happy, we're happy.
235
00:12:25,677 --> 00:12:28,445
(ALL WHISPER IN AGREEMENT)
236
00:12:28,513 --> 00:12:32,149
Okay, Harry, I've just checked off your name.
You're free to go.
237
00:12:32,217 --> 00:12:34,651
If anybody else would
care to go, feel free.
238
00:12:34,720 --> 00:12:37,688
However, if you'd like
to learn something,
239
00:12:37,756 --> 00:12:41,525
then I strongly suggest
that you stay.
240
00:12:52,537 --> 00:12:54,138
Now that's a good one.
241
00:12:54,205 --> 00:12:55,840
Oh, that's a nice one, too.
242
00:12:55,907 --> 00:12:58,475
Really? You don't think
I'm showing too much skin?
243
00:12:59,177 --> 00:13:01,411
Rose, move your thumb.
244
00:13:01,479 --> 00:13:03,047
(EXCLAIMS)
245
00:13:03,115 --> 00:13:04,414
Oh, and look at this one.
246
00:13:04,482 --> 00:13:08,019
That's beautiful.
Absolutely breathtaking.
247
00:13:08,086 --> 00:13:09,987
That looks like somethin'
you'd see on a calendar
248
00:13:10,055 --> 00:13:13,057
in a muffler shop.
249
00:13:13,125 --> 00:13:17,227
Oh, go on. Do you really think
that's right for Miles?
250
00:13:17,295 --> 00:13:19,964
He's never seen
that side of me before.
251
00:13:21,033 --> 00:13:23,600
You mean, the wanton Rose?
252
00:13:23,669 --> 00:13:26,003
The harlot?
The elemental woman
253
00:13:26,071 --> 00:13:30,074
who cries out for the fiery, passionate
response of an elemental man?
254
00:13:30,142 --> 00:13:31,508
Is that the side you mean?
255
00:13:31,576 --> 00:13:33,277
Actually, I meant my heinie.
256
00:13:36,281 --> 00:13:38,816
Miles and I always make love
with the lights off.
257
00:13:38,884 --> 00:13:39,817
Always?
258
00:13:39,885 --> 00:13:41,351
Always.
259
00:13:41,419 --> 00:13:45,189
Well, except for the time we were
listening to this concert on radio.
260
00:13:45,256 --> 00:13:47,692
(LAUGHING) And when
the applause started,
261
00:13:47,759 --> 00:13:50,227
his Clapper went crazy.
262
00:13:53,165 --> 00:13:55,700
The lights went on,
off, on, off, on, off.
263
00:13:55,767 --> 00:13:57,001
(LAUGHING)
264
00:13:57,069 --> 00:14:00,705
And Miles did his impression
of the old King Kong,
265
00:14:00,772 --> 00:14:03,174
and we laughed and laughed.
266
00:14:03,241 --> 00:14:05,242
So I pretended I was Godzilla,
267
00:14:05,310 --> 00:14:09,980
and we wrestled,
got all sweaty.
268
00:14:10,048 --> 00:14:12,783
Come to think of it, we never
did make love that night.
269
00:14:14,720 --> 00:14:17,154
If you didn't make love,
what did you do?
270
00:14:17,222 --> 00:14:18,823
Destroyed Tokyo.
271
00:14:21,793 --> 00:14:25,129
Hi, Blanche. Hi.
How was your first day at work?
272
00:14:25,197 --> 00:14:27,732
Terrible.
They don't want a teacher,
273
00:14:27,799 --> 00:14:30,701
they just want a body to
stand up there and look good
274
00:14:30,769 --> 00:14:34,105
so everyone can write off the
trip as a business expense.
275
00:14:34,172 --> 00:14:37,474
Oh, and I had such high
hopes for this job, too.
276
00:14:37,542 --> 00:14:39,543
Now I have no option
but to quit.
277
00:14:39,611 --> 00:14:42,046
Oh, Dorothy Zbornak,
you hush yourself.
278
00:14:42,114 --> 00:14:44,014
What?
Well, just because those people
279
00:14:44,082 --> 00:14:45,883
don't want to learn,
doesn't mean you can't teach.
280
00:14:45,951 --> 00:14:47,918
Yes, it does.
281
00:14:47,986 --> 00:14:49,887
Well, you know this stuff
better than I do.
282
00:14:52,824 --> 00:14:55,126
Oh, Dorothy, there you are.
283
00:14:55,193 --> 00:14:58,295
Dorothy, I'd like you to meet
my friend, Lillian.
284
00:14:58,363 --> 00:15:00,330
Lillian,
this is my daughter, Dorothy.
285
00:15:00,398 --> 00:15:03,234
The Director of Executive
Training for Borealis.
286
00:15:03,301 --> 00:15:06,503
I think that beats your son,
the cable installer.
287
00:15:07,739 --> 00:15:09,539
So nice to meet you, Dorothy.
288
00:15:09,607 --> 00:15:12,243
It--It's funny, though.
What?
289
00:15:12,310 --> 00:15:14,912
I've known Sophia
for almost 25 years,
290
00:15:14,980 --> 00:15:17,714
and until now, I didn't even
know she had a daughter.
291
00:15:20,886 --> 00:15:22,153
Well,
292
00:15:22,220 --> 00:15:24,155
I'm sure she must
have mentioned me.
293
00:15:24,222 --> 00:15:28,525
No. She used to always talk
about her parakeet, though.
294
00:15:28,593 --> 00:15:30,627
Yeah, she loved that bird.
295
00:15:31,797 --> 00:15:35,900
So, you were married
to a prince?
296
00:15:37,602 --> 00:15:39,003
Go with me on
this one, pussycat.
297
00:15:39,070 --> 00:15:40,671
I'll explain about
the parakeet later.
298
00:15:43,809 --> 00:15:46,410
MILES: Sweetheart,
that was a wonderful dinner.
299
00:15:46,477 --> 00:15:49,013
It was a birthday
I shall never forget.
300
00:15:49,080 --> 00:15:51,315
Well, this one isn't over yet.
301
00:15:51,382 --> 00:15:52,683
It's time for your present.
302
00:15:52,750 --> 00:15:55,719
Oh, hello, Fay Wray.
Bring on the planes.
303
00:15:55,787 --> 00:15:57,587
(GROWLS) Down, boy, down.
304
00:15:57,655 --> 00:16:00,090
I'm talking
about an actual gift.
305
00:16:00,158 --> 00:16:01,859
Oh, an actual gift. Well...
306
00:16:01,927 --> 00:16:03,194
(DOORBELL RINGING)
307
00:16:03,995 --> 00:16:05,495
Who else can that be?
308
00:16:07,199 --> 00:16:08,933
ALL: Surprise!
309
00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:11,101
(LAUGHS) Oh, Rose,
look who's here.
310
00:16:11,169 --> 00:16:13,037
These are my colleagues
from the English department.
311
00:16:13,104 --> 00:16:14,939
Gentlemen, this is Rose.
312
00:16:15,006 --> 00:16:16,907
MAN 1: Hi, Rose! MAN 2: Hello.
What's new, Rose?
313
00:16:16,975 --> 00:16:18,508
Come on in. I was just about
to unwrap Rose's present here.
314
00:16:18,576 --> 00:16:20,610
Oh, Miles, we don't have
to do that right now.
315
00:16:20,678 --> 00:16:23,080
Hey, hey, don't let us
spoil your birthday party.
316
00:16:23,148 --> 00:16:24,614
Go ahead and open it.
Oh, come on, Rose.
317
00:16:24,682 --> 00:16:26,817
No, Miles, please don't
open it, please. Why?
318
00:16:26,885 --> 00:16:28,919
(WHISPERING) Because it's
a naughty picture of me.
319
00:16:28,987 --> 00:16:32,389
Oh, a naughty picture of you.
Oh, Rose Nylund.
320
00:16:32,457 --> 00:16:33,490
(LAUGHING)
321
00:16:33,558 --> 00:16:34,658
MILES: Whoa!
322
00:16:44,635 --> 00:16:47,338
Gentlemen, before you all check
your names off and leave,
323
00:16:47,405 --> 00:16:50,140
I would like a few
moments of your time.
324
00:16:52,677 --> 00:16:54,345
When I first took this job,
325
00:16:54,412 --> 00:16:57,047
I just assumed
that teaching adults
326
00:16:57,115 --> 00:16:59,683
would be easier
than teaching kids.
327
00:16:59,751 --> 00:17:01,785
Obviously, I was wrong.
328
00:17:01,853 --> 00:17:05,522
True, it is hard to teach
an old dog new tricks,
329
00:17:05,590 --> 00:17:09,393
but, believe me,
it is not impossible.
330
00:17:09,460 --> 00:17:11,028
Open your minds.
331
00:17:11,096 --> 00:17:12,596
Walk down new roads.
332
00:17:12,663 --> 00:17:15,332
Shake the cobwebs
from your brains.
333
00:17:15,400 --> 00:17:18,502
You know, there's a time to
play and a time to learn.
334
00:17:18,569 --> 00:17:21,638
And believe me, gentlemen,
your lives will be much better
335
00:17:21,706 --> 00:17:24,574
if you make this
a time to learn.
336
00:17:27,845 --> 00:17:29,546
HARRY: That was very moving.
337
00:17:29,614 --> 00:17:31,815
I'm almost tempted to stay.
338
00:17:36,621 --> 00:17:39,823
That was very inspirational,
Mrs. Zbornak.
339
00:17:39,891 --> 00:17:42,592
And now, if you'll excuse me,
I must catch up with Tojo.
340
00:17:42,660 --> 00:17:43,994
Tojo who?
341
00:17:44,062 --> 00:17:45,362
Tojo mama.
342
00:17:50,402 --> 00:17:52,636
I got a message
that you wanted to see me.
343
00:17:52,703 --> 00:17:54,338
Am I in trouble?
344
00:17:54,406 --> 00:17:56,240
I wanted you to come down here
345
00:17:56,308 --> 00:18:00,877
so you'd see how good I was
at firing up a class,
346
00:18:00,946 --> 00:18:02,679
but obviously it backfired.
347
00:18:02,747 --> 00:18:04,614
Hey, hey, it doesn't matter.
348
00:18:04,682 --> 00:18:06,516
Look, this is a very easy job.
349
00:18:06,584 --> 00:18:08,185
You know who did it before you?
350
00:18:08,253 --> 00:18:11,388
A tape recorder.
So, enjoy it.
351
00:18:11,456 --> 00:18:13,290
This is my way
of saying thank you.
352
00:18:13,358 --> 00:18:16,660
No, I appreciate the gesture,
but, um,
353
00:18:16,727 --> 00:18:18,562
I think I'm better off
in high school.
354
00:18:18,629 --> 00:18:22,166
Why? What can you get there
that I'm not giving you here?
355
00:18:22,233 --> 00:18:24,335
A student like you.
356
00:18:24,402 --> 00:18:27,504
You know, all these
gentlemen were goof-offs.
357
00:18:27,572 --> 00:18:29,539
And you were a goof-off,
358
00:18:29,607 --> 00:18:32,109
but I managed to cut you off
at the pass.
359
00:18:32,177 --> 00:18:35,779
I figure the pass is
about the 10th grade.
360
00:18:35,847 --> 00:18:37,781
And that's where I belong.
361
00:18:37,849 --> 00:18:41,918
Well, if that's what
you really want to do, okay.
362
00:18:41,987 --> 00:18:44,688
Hey, listen, if there's
anything I can ever do for you,
363
00:18:44,755 --> 00:18:46,256
you let me know, huh?
364
00:18:46,324 --> 00:18:47,924
Well, you know, actually, I...
365
00:18:47,993 --> 00:18:50,594
I do have an idea
for a new video game.
366
00:18:50,661 --> 00:18:52,296
Really?
367
00:18:52,364 --> 00:18:55,599
Yeah. See, there's this very
old, white-haired mother
368
00:18:55,666 --> 00:18:59,336
who keeps talking
and talking and talking,
369
00:18:59,404 --> 00:19:02,572
and there're all these
different ways to kill her.
370
00:19:04,142 --> 00:19:05,476
Sounds kind of weird.
371
00:19:05,543 --> 00:19:06,843
No, I've thought it all out.
372
00:19:06,911 --> 00:19:09,546
And then when you arrive
at level four,
373
00:19:09,614 --> 00:19:12,449
then you get to just nuke her.
374
00:19:14,919 --> 00:19:18,222
I mean, just nuke
the hell out of her!
375
00:19:24,396 --> 00:19:26,363
Oh, I know, honey.
I know.
376
00:19:26,431 --> 00:19:29,633
But you just gotta find a way to
turn this negative into a positive.
377
00:19:29,700 --> 00:19:31,835
Now, what was
supposed to have been
378
00:19:31,903 --> 00:19:34,938
a private, intimate moment
between you and your boyfriend
379
00:19:35,006 --> 00:19:38,542
turned into a sordid exhibition
in front of strange men.
380
00:19:40,412 --> 00:19:42,046
And what's the positive?
381
00:19:43,114 --> 00:19:45,082
I slept with the photographer.
382
00:19:47,218 --> 00:19:48,718
(BLANCHE WHISTLING)
383
00:19:48,786 --> 00:19:50,087
(DOORBELL RINGING)
384
00:19:54,825 --> 00:19:57,627
Rose, I came over as soon
as I got rid of the guys.
385
00:19:57,695 --> 00:20:00,230
Hey, what were you thinking
dashing off that way?
386
00:20:00,298 --> 00:20:02,132
I felt awful.
387
00:20:02,200 --> 00:20:04,501
That picture was meant for you.
388
00:20:04,569 --> 00:20:07,071
I feel like a complete fool.
389
00:20:07,138 --> 00:20:09,540
Oh, sweetheart, no.
Listen...
390
00:20:09,607 --> 00:20:12,176
Listen,
let me tell you something.
391
00:20:12,243 --> 00:20:13,777
Back when I was in the army,
392
00:20:13,844 --> 00:20:16,780
inside my locker I kept a
picture of Betty Grable.
393
00:20:16,847 --> 00:20:18,715
And she was wearing a lot less
394
00:20:18,783 --> 00:20:21,485
than you were wearing
in my birthday photo.
395
00:20:21,553 --> 00:20:25,922
Sweetheart, she was the
darling of America.
396
00:20:25,990 --> 00:20:27,724
Miles, she was in her 20s,
397
00:20:27,792 --> 00:20:30,127
and she had the most beautiful
legs on the planet.
398
00:20:30,195 --> 00:20:32,996
Uh! The second most beautiful.
399
00:20:33,598 --> 00:20:34,731
Oh, Miles.
400
00:20:34,799 --> 00:20:38,168
Rita Hayworth had
a set of gams on her, boy!
401
00:20:39,837 --> 00:20:44,274
Ah, well, no. Look, sweetheart, about the...
About the age thing.
402
00:20:44,342 --> 00:20:48,044
Something I read someplace,
I've always believed.
403
00:20:48,113 --> 00:20:50,947
You know, when you're...
When you're young and beautiful,
404
00:20:51,015 --> 00:20:52,916
it's an accident of nature,
405
00:20:52,984 --> 00:20:55,852
but when you're beautiful
older, you've earned it.
406
00:20:55,920 --> 00:20:59,389
That you created yourself.
407
00:20:59,457 --> 00:21:02,126
Do you really think
my picture is beautiful?
408
00:21:02,193 --> 00:21:05,496
Rose, if I still had a
locker, you'd be in it.
409
00:21:06,431 --> 00:21:07,764
Oh, Miles.
410
00:21:17,074 --> 00:21:18,074
(DOOR OPENING)
411
00:21:19,244 --> 00:21:22,146
Ma, what is that?
412
00:21:22,213 --> 00:21:24,014
It's my new big screen TV,
413
00:21:24,081 --> 00:21:26,483
thanks to you and the generous
raise in my allowance.
414
00:21:26,551 --> 00:21:27,651
Isn't she a beauty?
415
00:21:27,718 --> 00:21:29,886
Only 1,300 easy payments.
416
00:21:31,722 --> 00:21:33,423
Ma, we have to talk.
417
00:21:33,491 --> 00:21:35,159
The salesman tried to jerk
me around on the price,
418
00:21:35,226 --> 00:21:38,728
but once he found out I was
Jessica Tandy, I got a deal.
419
00:21:39,997 --> 00:21:42,932
Ma, I wouldn't get
too attached to this.
420
00:21:43,000 --> 00:21:44,368
I've named her Tanya.
421
00:21:45,803 --> 00:21:48,104
Ma, I quit my job at Borealis.
422
00:21:48,173 --> 00:21:50,507
I'm going back to teaching.
423
00:21:50,575 --> 00:21:52,176
Which means I'm
really gonna have
424
00:21:52,243 --> 00:21:54,444
to tighten the purse strings
around here.
425
00:21:54,512 --> 00:21:56,079
And this affects me how?
426
00:21:57,948 --> 00:22:00,217
Ma, you're not making
this any easier.
427
00:22:00,285 --> 00:22:02,586
I quit because
I wasn't happy there.
428
00:22:02,654 --> 00:22:05,021
Would you want me to stay
someplace I was unhappy
429
00:22:05,089 --> 00:22:06,756
just because it paid well?
430
00:22:06,824 --> 00:22:08,992
Yes, and I would encourage
you to moonlight.
431
00:22:10,461 --> 00:22:13,096
Ma, I quit because I wasn't
reaching the students.
432
00:22:13,164 --> 00:22:14,931
I wasn't getting through.
433
00:22:14,999 --> 00:22:16,933
I'm going back to high school.
434
00:22:17,001 --> 00:22:18,468
Look at this remote control.
435
00:22:20,104 --> 00:22:24,974
Feel the heft.
Feel the power.
436
00:22:25,042 --> 00:22:27,311
I think I could start
the car with this thing.
437
00:22:29,080 --> 00:22:31,582
Ma, my mind is made up.
438
00:22:31,649 --> 00:22:33,483
Whatever makes
you happy, pussycat.
439
00:22:33,551 --> 00:22:35,151
Thanks, Ma.
440
00:22:35,220 --> 00:22:38,722
And I'm sorry, honey, but you're
gonna have to send back the TV.
441
00:22:38,789 --> 00:22:40,591
Not if I could
pay for it myself.
442
00:22:40,658 --> 00:22:43,560
Oh? How do you
propose to do that?
443
00:22:44,962 --> 00:22:48,665
I have the negatives
from Rose's photo shoot.
444
00:22:48,733 --> 00:22:50,867
It doesn't say much
for this great land of ours,
445
00:22:50,935 --> 00:22:53,237
but there's a market out there.
446
00:23:00,411 --> 00:23:03,647
You know, Mrs. Petrillo, I've
never had a woman your age
447
00:23:03,715 --> 00:23:05,682
do a boudoir photograph.
448
00:23:09,987 --> 00:23:12,656
Yeah, well, I want to have
a good one for the obit.
449
00:23:14,759 --> 00:23:17,160
Okay. Show me what you got.
450
00:23:20,865 --> 00:23:22,166
(CAMERA CLICKS)
451
00:23:23,768 --> 00:23:24,934
(CAMERA CLICKS)
452
00:23:26,737 --> 00:23:27,904
(CAMERA CLICKS)
453
00:23:30,275 --> 00:23:31,208
(CAMERA CLICKS)
34824
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