Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,434 --> 00:00:04,546
That's unbelievable.
Danielle just called me.
2
00:00:04,667 --> 00:00:06,113
She canceled
our dinner for tonight.
3
00:00:06,234 --> 00:00:08,380
She claims she had
her wisdom teeth removed.
4
00:00:08,501 --> 00:00:09,912
This is not a lie,
Mike.
5
00:00:10,033 --> 00:00:11,847
I just saw her
an hour ago.
6
00:00:11,968 --> 00:00:15,313
We are talking big cheeks,
numb lips, lotsa drool.
7
00:00:15,434 --> 00:00:17,046
So she's up and around.
8
00:00:17,167 --> 00:00:18,546
Mike.
9
00:00:18,667 --> 00:00:20,146
This is unb...
look at me !
10
00:00:20,267 --> 00:00:23,646
My first valentine's day
alone in this harsh world.
11
00:00:23,767 --> 00:00:26,613
Is it so wrong that I want a
little female companionship ?
12
00:00:26,734 --> 00:00:28,546
If you really want, I can
set you up with someone.
13
00:00:28,667 --> 00:00:30,879
Yes, I want.
I want. Yes.
14
00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:32,413
Fine. I'll call Suzanne.
15
00:00:32,534 --> 00:00:35,012
No, no. She does this
twirly thing with her hair
16
00:00:35,133 --> 00:00:37,480
that I know would
drive you up the wall.
17
00:00:37,601 --> 00:00:39,747
Maybe veronica. Although this
being your first date back,
18
00:00:39,868 --> 00:00:41,113
veronica might be
a bit too aggressive,
19
00:00:41,234 --> 00:00:44,513
you know, sexually
speaking. I've got it !
20
00:00:44,634 --> 00:00:46,179
Katie would be perfect.
21
00:00:46,300 --> 00:00:48,113
She's cute. She's the sweetest
thing you'll ever meet.
22
00:00:48,234 --> 00:00:50,246
Tell me more
about veronica.
23
00:00:50,367 --> 00:00:51,313
Mike, is it
all right
24
00:00:51,434 --> 00:00:53,546
if I come in a little
late tomorrow ?
25
00:00:53,667 --> 00:00:56,346
Because tonight I got
plans with Claudia.
26
00:00:56,467 --> 00:00:58,680
We have to sleep in a
little. Know what I mean ?
27
00:00:58,801 --> 00:01:01,113
You can come in late...
as long as you promise
28
00:01:01,234 --> 00:01:02,501
not to tell me
what you mean.
29
00:01:04,334 --> 00:01:05,780
Wait. Why am I
setting you up ?
30
00:01:05,901 --> 00:01:07,113
I don't even
have a date yet.
31
00:01:07,234 --> 00:01:09,680
You're always welcome
to join me at the bar.
32
00:01:09,801 --> 00:01:12,413
I'll be reenacting my
traditional bad holiday ritual.
33
00:01:12,534 --> 00:01:16,079
It involves a good book
and a big bottle of Chianti.
34
00:01:16,200 --> 00:01:18,079
No expectations.
No disappointments.
35
00:01:18,200 --> 00:01:20,413
Forgive me, Stuart,
but when I close my eyes
36
00:01:20,534 --> 00:01:22,613
and try to envision the
perfect valentine's day,
37
00:01:22,734 --> 00:01:26,613
you are usually bound and
gagged in a shed somewhere.
38
00:01:26,734 --> 00:01:28,801
Ooh.
39
00:01:30,234 --> 00:01:32,613
You know, Nikki,
sometimes the perfect date
40
00:01:32,734 --> 00:01:33,868
is right
under your nose.
41
00:01:37,267 --> 00:01:38,613
You know what ?
You're right.
42
00:01:38,734 --> 00:01:40,279
This is not
a time for pride.
43
00:01:40,400 --> 00:01:43,113
I need to start calling old boyfriends.
44
00:01:43,234 --> 00:01:44,613
Well, I am no longer
45
00:01:44,734 --> 00:01:46,413
desperate and alone
this evening.
46
00:01:46,534 --> 00:01:48,879
Spence called.
He wants to see me.
47
00:01:49,000 --> 00:01:51,847
Spence ? The guy who
dumped you twice Spence ?
48
00:01:51,968 --> 00:01:53,267
I prefer
just Spence.
49
00:01:54,434 --> 00:01:56,546
Well, that means
he wants you back.
50
00:01:56,667 --> 00:01:58,380
Come on. Spence and I are over.
51
00:01:58,501 --> 00:02:02,246
Tonight is merely a friendly little
extension of the olive branch.
52
00:02:02,367 --> 00:02:03,901
Is that a euphemism ?
53
00:02:08,701 --> 00:02:11,179
Please. Tonight is
totally casual. In fact,
54
00:02:11,300 --> 00:02:13,580
Mike, if your date
doesn't pan out, stop by.
55
00:02:13,701 --> 00:02:15,646
Spence is bringing
a friend... a woman.
56
00:02:15,767 --> 00:02:18,480
Sounds great. Thank you,
carter. Good plan "b".
57
00:02:18,601 --> 00:02:22,580
Plan "b" ? You are going out with
a friend of mine tonight, buster !
58
00:02:22,701 --> 00:02:24,012
How immature are you ?
59
00:02:24,133 --> 00:02:25,413
I'm not immature.
60
00:02:25,534 --> 00:02:27,834
Just in case
she's an uggo.
61
00:02:41,901 --> 00:02:43,246
Well, am I...
62
00:02:43,367 --> 00:02:45,813
glad Nikki thought
of setting us up.
63
00:02:45,934 --> 00:02:50,046
I mean, we just met, and... and
already I'm feeling comfortable.
64
00:02:50,167 --> 00:02:52,480
That's unusual,
because, you know,
65
00:02:52,601 --> 00:02:56,179
sometimes these things
can be pretty awkward.
66
00:02:56,300 --> 00:02:58,179
I can tell
within 15 minutes
67
00:02:58,300 --> 00:03:00,801
whether or not I'm gonna
have sex with a guy.
68
00:03:05,601 --> 00:03:06,646
Really ?
69
00:03:06,767 --> 00:03:08,079
I, uh...
70
00:03:08,200 --> 00:03:11,300
have an aunt who can guess
people's favorite colors.
71
00:03:13,234 --> 00:03:14,912
Come on. Everybody's
the same way.
72
00:03:15,033 --> 00:03:16,380
At least I have
the guts to admit it.
73
00:03:16,501 --> 00:03:21,146
So... when do
my 15 minutes start ?
74
00:03:21,267 --> 00:03:23,380
They already did.
75
00:03:23,501 --> 00:03:26,546
I can handle pressure.
I deal with it every day.
76
00:03:26,667 --> 00:03:28,501
Thrive on it.
77
00:03:29,567 --> 00:03:31,813
14:58...
78
00:03:31,934 --> 00:03:33,713
uh, can I get
some wine, please ?
79
00:03:33,834 --> 00:03:34,834
Hurry !
80
00:04:00,267 --> 00:04:01,501
Coming !
81
00:04:05,267 --> 00:04:06,501
Coming !
82
00:04:23,801 --> 00:04:24,713
Spence Kamer !
83
00:04:24,834 --> 00:04:26,767
How you doin',
carter ?
84
00:04:32,801 --> 00:04:34,179
Ok. Got through
that.
85
00:04:34,300 --> 00:04:35,912
Ha ha. Yeah.
86
00:04:36,033 --> 00:04:37,601
Come on in.
Sit down.
87
00:04:38,801 --> 00:04:40,079
Ohhh...
88
00:04:40,200 --> 00:04:42,179
I miss this couch !
89
00:04:42,300 --> 00:04:43,680
Yeah, well.
90
00:04:43,801 --> 00:04:45,767
You got the stereo. I got the couch.
91
00:04:47,167 --> 00:04:48,513
I didn't say
I want the couch.
92
00:04:48,634 --> 00:04:50,167
I just said
I miss the couch.
93
00:04:51,467 --> 00:04:52,979
Uh, white wine ok ?
94
00:04:53,100 --> 00:04:54,434
Sure, thanks.
95
00:04:55,501 --> 00:04:57,079
You look great.
96
00:04:57,200 --> 00:04:58,713
Yeah, you, too.
97
00:04:58,834 --> 00:05:00,213
I like that goatee.
98
00:05:00,334 --> 00:05:01,813
Yeah, well,
they, uh...
99
00:05:01,934 --> 00:05:03,313
seem pretty hip,
100
00:05:03,434 --> 00:05:05,813
but you get a few stray hairs
growing in the wrong direction,
101
00:05:05,934 --> 00:05:07,868
you start to look
like count Chocula !
102
00:05:09,968 --> 00:05:11,667
And that's not good.
103
00:05:14,100 --> 00:05:15,267
No.
104
00:05:16,901 --> 00:05:19,179
Uh, where's your friend ? Is she coming ?
105
00:05:19,300 --> 00:05:20,847
I thought you said
she was coming.
106
00:05:20,968 --> 00:05:22,380
Not that I'm not
glad to see you.
107
00:05:22,501 --> 00:05:24,946
It's just that...
ahem. I'm babbling.
108
00:05:25,067 --> 00:05:27,246
It's ok, though, actually.
I kinda miss that.
109
00:05:27,367 --> 00:05:29,213
I asked her
to stop by later.
110
00:05:29,334 --> 00:05:30,780
I want to spend some
time alone with you first,
111
00:05:30,901 --> 00:05:31,834
if that's ok.
112
00:05:33,300 --> 00:05:34,446
Oh. Ok.
113
00:05:34,567 --> 00:05:36,100
Whatever.
114
00:05:37,334 --> 00:05:38,267
Boy !
115
00:05:41,200 --> 00:05:43,946
Just relax, ok ?
116
00:05:44,067 --> 00:05:45,979
Drink the wine...
117
00:05:46,100 --> 00:05:48,167
breathe
the secondhand smoke...
118
00:05:51,267 --> 00:05:53,968
And think about
the emptiness of your life.
119
00:05:55,367 --> 00:05:57,713
Don't you think
that's a little dark ?
120
00:05:57,834 --> 00:05:59,747
Siddown.
121
00:05:59,868 --> 00:06:01,813
Everyone'll wind up
here, eventually.
122
00:06:01,934 --> 00:06:03,146
They always do.
123
00:06:03,267 --> 00:06:06,179
No, no. Not Nikki. She's out with Kevin.
124
00:06:06,300 --> 00:06:09,480
She's probably laughing at
his jokes, his stories...
125
00:06:09,601 --> 00:06:10,480
what's he do ?
126
00:06:10,601 --> 00:06:11,634
He's a comedian.
127
00:06:14,901 --> 00:06:16,780
You know she'll
fall for the guy,
128
00:06:16,901 --> 00:06:17,946
and I'll get to hear
about it every day
129
00:06:18,067 --> 00:06:21,334
until my ears bleed.
I hate this.
130
00:06:29,701 --> 00:06:33,480
Oh, Paul,
this is so sexy !
131
00:06:33,601 --> 00:06:36,780
You're telling me.
And watch your feet.
132
00:06:36,901 --> 00:06:38,113
This is gonna be
133
00:06:38,234 --> 00:06:39,946
the best valentine's day
of your life, darlin'.
134
00:06:40,067 --> 00:06:41,546
And dip.
Ooh !
135
00:06:41,667 --> 00:06:43,213
I'm sorr...
136
00:06:43,334 --> 00:06:45,200
I'm so sorry !
I'm sorry !
137
00:06:46,467 --> 00:06:47,346
Oh ! Are you
all right ?
138
00:06:47,467 --> 00:06:49,480
I'm ok.
I'm ok, honey.
139
00:06:49,601 --> 00:06:52,380
I know this isn't
the best place to dance.
140
00:06:52,501 --> 00:06:53,780
It's just...
141
00:06:53,901 --> 00:06:56,279
well, I wanted
to start our evening
142
00:06:56,400 --> 00:06:58,680
in the room where
our lips first met.
143
00:06:58,801 --> 00:07:02,580
Oh, Paul. Sweep me
off my feet right now,
144
00:07:02,701 --> 00:07:05,133
and I'm yours forever.
145
00:07:07,434 --> 00:07:08,367
Tango ?
146
00:07:09,634 --> 00:07:10,567
Take me.
147
00:07:13,601 --> 00:07:18,313
Tonight... cupid's arrow will
strike sharply and precisely.
148
00:07:18,434 --> 00:07:19,868
Open !
149
00:07:20,934 --> 00:07:22,680
Ooh ! Ooh !
150
00:07:22,801 --> 00:07:24,012
I'm sorry !
151
00:07:24,133 --> 00:07:25,446
Oh, I'm sorry !
152
00:07:25,567 --> 00:07:27,680
I should have taken
out the thorns.
153
00:07:27,801 --> 00:07:29,501
I'm sorry.
154
00:07:30,634 --> 00:07:31,901
Ah. So...
155
00:07:34,234 --> 00:07:35,400
how'd I do ?
156
00:07:36,801 --> 00:07:38,801
I'm not gonna have sex with you tonight.
157
00:07:40,834 --> 00:07:42,780
Well. Then, uh...
158
00:07:42,901 --> 00:07:45,801
I'm not gonna have sex with you, either.
159
00:07:49,100 --> 00:07:50,879
Good night,
Michael Flaherty.
160
00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:53,234
Good night,
veronica...
161
00:07:55,601 --> 00:07:56,934
...veronica.
162
00:07:58,567 --> 00:08:01,012
So I gathered a few thousand
of my closest friends,
163
00:08:01,133 --> 00:08:03,313
and we swarmed
the state legislature.
164
00:08:03,434 --> 00:08:05,879
We got arrested,
but we got results.
165
00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:08,346
Still doing the whole
angry black man thing, huh ?
166
00:08:08,467 --> 00:08:10,334
Yeah, well, I think
it works for me.
167
00:08:12,133 --> 00:08:15,613
Tried the angry Chinese
man thing, but...
168
00:08:15,734 --> 00:08:18,279
couldn't seem to
nail it.
169
00:08:18,400 --> 00:08:21,267
Well, the carter I knew
woulda nailed that Chinese man.
170
00:08:22,634 --> 00:08:25,267
Or at least bought him
a few drinks.
171
00:08:26,734 --> 00:08:29,279
God, I miss laughing
like this. Yeah, I know.
172
00:08:29,400 --> 00:08:30,434
This is great.
173
00:08:31,634 --> 00:08:32,513
Hey !
174
00:08:32,634 --> 00:08:33,667
Uh...
175
00:08:35,634 --> 00:08:36,513
Mike !
176
00:08:36,634 --> 00:08:39,213
Uh... what... what
happened to...
177
00:08:39,334 --> 00:08:40,413
veronica ?
178
00:08:40,534 --> 00:08:41,413
Pff !
179
00:08:41,534 --> 00:08:43,734
I dumped her.
180
00:08:44,834 --> 00:08:46,613
Spence Kamer,
Mike Flaherty.
181
00:08:46,734 --> 00:08:47,713
Mike Flaherty.
182
00:08:47,834 --> 00:08:49,413
Hey, uh, Spence.
Hey, Mike.
183
00:08:49,534 --> 00:08:51,580
So, Spence, when's this
mystery woman showing up ?
184
00:08:51,701 --> 00:08:54,613
Actually, I asked her
to come by a little later,
185
00:08:54,734 --> 00:08:56,446
because I wanted to talk
to you about something
186
00:08:56,567 --> 00:08:58,133
while we were,
uh, alone.
187
00:09:00,167 --> 00:09:03,267
That's ok. I have no secrets from Mike.
188
00:09:04,701 --> 00:09:06,701
We're very close.
189
00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:10,680
Ok. Carter, Melissa and
I are getting married.
190
00:09:10,801 --> 00:09:13,113
To who ?
191
00:09:13,234 --> 00:09:15,747
Listen, carter, I found
out a lot about myself
192
00:09:15,868 --> 00:09:18,580
in the last year, and
the fact is, I'm straight,
193
00:09:18,701 --> 00:09:20,346
and we're getting
married.
194
00:09:20,467 --> 00:09:22,634
I came here to ask
you to be my best man.
195
00:09:27,367 --> 00:09:29,667
I can't believe
what I'm hearing.
196
00:09:31,100 --> 00:09:33,000
All right... let me get this straight.
197
00:09:34,501 --> 00:09:37,546
Lemme cut straight
to the chase.
198
00:09:37,667 --> 00:09:39,868
I can't stop
saying "straight."
199
00:09:41,868 --> 00:09:43,146
This uncomfortable for you ?
200
00:09:43,267 --> 00:09:44,747
A little bit.
Yeah.
201
00:09:44,868 --> 00:09:46,813
So it's not just me.
No.
202
00:09:46,934 --> 00:09:48,267
Well, we got
that straight.
203
00:09:49,968 --> 00:09:52,079
You sure you're all right ? Oh, I'm fine.
204
00:09:52,200 --> 00:09:53,868
I think the bleeding's almost stopped.
205
00:09:55,133 --> 00:09:56,480
So...
206
00:09:56,601 --> 00:09:57,480
do you trust me ?
207
00:09:57,601 --> 00:09:58,979
Forever.
208
00:09:59,100 --> 00:10:00,513
Well, that's good.
209
00:10:00,634 --> 00:10:01,979
Because...
210
00:10:02,100 --> 00:10:03,346
ooh !
211
00:10:03,467 --> 00:10:06,413
Are you going to interrogate
me until you break my will
212
00:10:06,534 --> 00:10:08,747
and I submit to
your every desire ?
213
00:10:08,868 --> 00:10:11,300
No. I just thought
this would be neat.
214
00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:14,879
Now, don't be afraid.
Ok.
215
00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:16,634
This is
just phase 2.
216
00:10:19,834 --> 00:10:21,946
Oh, I know that sound.
217
00:10:22,067 --> 00:10:23,847
Phase 3...
218
00:10:23,968 --> 00:10:26,246
is a carriage ride
around the city.
219
00:10:26,367 --> 00:10:29,046
Ooh ! Those
are expensive.
220
00:10:29,167 --> 00:10:31,534
Well... I have a coupon.
221
00:10:35,667 --> 00:10:37,067
Drink.
222
00:10:39,667 --> 00:10:41,380
And now, my darling,
223
00:10:41,501 --> 00:10:43,667
chase it down
with this.
224
00:10:44,934 --> 00:10:46,946
Mmm !
225
00:10:47,067 --> 00:10:49,780
What is that taste ? It's
very interesting. Mmm.
226
00:10:49,901 --> 00:10:52,000
How could you not know what
a strawberry tastes like ?
227
00:10:54,767 --> 00:10:57,734
How was I supposed to know she
was allergic to strawberries ?
228
00:10:59,367 --> 00:11:00,613
Refresh my memory.
229
00:11:00,734 --> 00:11:02,680
Was phase 3
the romantic carriage ride
230
00:11:02,801 --> 00:11:04,234
or the trip
to the emergency room ?
231
00:11:05,634 --> 00:11:07,213
You should have
seen her.
232
00:11:07,334 --> 00:11:09,313
Her head swelled up.
Her face turned blue.
233
00:11:09,434 --> 00:11:11,801
She looked like that crazy
girl from Willy Wonka.
234
00:11:14,334 --> 00:11:15,847
Will you look at Nikki ?
235
00:11:15,968 --> 00:11:18,246
If I didn't know her,
I'd make a move on her.
236
00:11:18,367 --> 00:11:20,780
But I do know her.
And she knows me.
237
00:11:20,901 --> 00:11:23,213
If you're gonna make a
move, you gotta have an edge.
238
00:11:23,334 --> 00:11:24,801
You can't be normal,
James.
239
00:11:26,234 --> 00:11:27,279
Hey, James.
Brought you a beer.
240
00:11:27,400 --> 00:11:28,546
You wanted a light,
right ?
241
00:11:28,667 --> 00:11:30,513
Yeah, thanks.
Hey, Nikki,
242
00:11:30,634 --> 00:11:32,380
let's sit over
at that table.
243
00:11:32,501 --> 00:11:33,534
Why ?
244
00:11:34,667 --> 00:11:36,200
Why ?
245
00:11:37,701 --> 00:11:39,213
Why ?
246
00:11:39,334 --> 00:11:41,179
Paul feels really bad
about Claudia,
247
00:11:41,300 --> 00:11:43,113
and I'd just like
a moment alone
248
00:11:43,234 --> 00:11:44,234
to comfort him.
249
00:11:46,567 --> 00:11:47,868
Ok.
250
00:11:52,734 --> 00:11:54,480
I really appreciate
that, Stuart.
251
00:11:54,601 --> 00:11:57,747
I really do, because my
relationship with Claudia is...
252
00:11:57,868 --> 00:11:58,968
don't care.
253
00:12:01,501 --> 00:12:03,546
I'll be rational
about this.
254
00:12:03,667 --> 00:12:05,213
I'm sure this happens
to thousands of people
255
00:12:05,334 --> 00:12:06,834
thousands of times.
256
00:12:08,767 --> 00:12:10,000
You really think so ?
257
00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:15,113
I'm sorry. You... you
were starting to talk.
258
00:12:15,234 --> 00:12:17,834
I made him straight,
Mike.
259
00:12:20,234 --> 00:12:21,513
I mean,
how would you feel
260
00:12:21,634 --> 00:12:22,813
if a woman
you were dating
261
00:12:22,934 --> 00:12:25,000
left you to be
with another woman ?
262
00:12:26,234 --> 00:12:27,300
Just a second.
263
00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:30,000
Trying to picture it.
264
00:12:31,667 --> 00:12:33,646
It's not just that
he's moved on.
265
00:12:33,767 --> 00:12:35,613
It's that...
everything about my life
266
00:12:35,734 --> 00:12:37,646
says that I've been
standing still.
267
00:12:37,767 --> 00:12:39,513
He's changed his
sexual orientation.
268
00:12:39,634 --> 00:12:42,879
I can't even change the
message on my answering machine !
269
00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:45,413
You are being too hard
on yourself. All right ?
270
00:12:45,534 --> 00:12:47,979
You bought
that new bread maker.
271
00:12:48,100 --> 00:12:50,546
Thanks, Mike.
I'll cling to that.
272
00:12:50,667 --> 00:12:54,446
Spence knows me better than
anybody else in the world.
273
00:12:54,567 --> 00:12:56,446
It probably took him
5 seconds to figure out
274
00:12:56,567 --> 00:12:57,580
I was still waiting
for him.
275
00:12:57,701 --> 00:13:00,813
He's gonna come back
feeling sorry for me.
276
00:13:00,934 --> 00:13:02,334
I don't think
I can take that.
277
00:13:03,467 --> 00:13:04,400
Listen, carter...
278
00:13:05,634 --> 00:13:06,901
I've been through this.
279
00:13:08,200 --> 00:13:10,580
Well, not exactly
this, but...
280
00:13:10,701 --> 00:13:13,580
something very similar, and... and...
281
00:13:13,701 --> 00:13:16,701
and I know how painful this can be.
282
00:13:18,267 --> 00:13:20,646
If there's anything
I can do for you,
283
00:13:20,767 --> 00:13:22,580
just ask, all right ?
284
00:13:22,701 --> 00:13:26,680
Even if... even if I can make
tonight a little bit easier.
285
00:13:26,801 --> 00:13:28,079
You know, I... I'm
at your service.
286
00:13:28,200 --> 00:13:30,067
I'm in your corner.
I'm on your team.
287
00:13:49,501 --> 00:13:50,901
Thanks, honey.
288
00:13:55,434 --> 00:13:56,813
Isn't this
just great ?
289
00:13:56,934 --> 00:13:58,480
I mean, I can't
believe this.
290
00:13:58,601 --> 00:14:01,079
The two of you, the
two of us sitting here,
291
00:14:01,200 --> 00:14:02,667
getting to know
each other.
292
00:14:11,667 --> 00:14:12,546
Me, too.
293
00:14:12,667 --> 00:14:14,879
Michael ?
294
00:14:15,000 --> 00:14:16,067
Isn't this great ?
295
00:14:20,701 --> 00:14:22,313
Oh, sure...
296
00:14:22,434 --> 00:14:23,534
honey.
297
00:14:25,634 --> 00:14:27,000
S- so, Melissa...
298
00:14:29,033 --> 00:14:30,146
How'd you two meet ?
299
00:14:30,267 --> 00:14:32,780
We worked together
on an ad campaign.
300
00:14:32,901 --> 00:14:35,313
It would have been love at first
sight, but I thought he was gay.
301
00:14:35,434 --> 00:14:36,901
He was !
302
00:14:38,734 --> 00:14:40,646
Does anybody
want a beer or...
303
00:14:40,767 --> 00:14:42,801
I, uh, I'll take
a couple dozen.
304
00:14:44,234 --> 00:14:45,713
I'll help you.
305
00:14:45,834 --> 00:14:47,813
Oh, I don't know. Few
minutes alone with you,
306
00:14:47,934 --> 00:14:50,046
I might come back straight ! (Chuckles)
307
00:14:50,167 --> 00:14:51,834
Hell, I might
come back white !
308
00:14:54,567 --> 00:14:56,646
James, really,
this is unnecessary.
309
00:14:56,767 --> 00:14:58,946
Ah, yes, but a gesture is romantic
310
00:14:59,067 --> 00:15:01,634
largely because
it is unnecessary.
311
00:15:03,200 --> 00:15:04,400
Think about it.
312
00:15:14,767 --> 00:15:16,680
I'd rather not.
313
00:15:16,801 --> 00:15:18,912
James, you're acting
really weird.
314
00:15:19,033 --> 00:15:21,480
Listen, Nikki, uh...
315
00:15:21,601 --> 00:15:24,313
you think you know me,
but you don't.
316
00:15:24,434 --> 00:15:26,213
You only know a...
317
00:15:26,334 --> 00:15:27,680
office James.
318
00:15:27,801 --> 00:15:31,067
Don't get me wrong.
Great guy. Love him.
319
00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:36,279
He's harmless,
you know ?
320
00:15:36,400 --> 00:15:37,713
He's the kinda guy
you give your keys to
321
00:15:37,834 --> 00:15:40,313
if you needed someone
to feed your cats.
322
00:15:40,434 --> 00:15:41,634
You have never met...
323
00:15:43,267 --> 00:15:45,546
...after hours James.
324
00:15:45,667 --> 00:15:47,446
After hours James.
325
00:15:47,567 --> 00:15:51,179
Let us just say you
don't give your keys to...
326
00:15:51,300 --> 00:15:53,267
after hours James.
327
00:15:55,267 --> 00:15:57,813
You lock your door.
328
00:15:57,934 --> 00:15:59,946
I'm gonna go
to the bathroom,
329
00:16:00,067 --> 00:16:01,747
and when I come back,
330
00:16:01,868 --> 00:16:04,079
I wanna meet
one of two people...
331
00:16:04,200 --> 00:16:06,646
either office James...
332
00:16:06,767 --> 00:16:09,434
or outside hailing
a cab James.
333
00:16:11,767 --> 00:16:14,279
I'll tell ya, you...
334
00:16:14,400 --> 00:16:15,801
you're a very lucky
guy.
335
00:16:20,767 --> 00:16:22,234
Oh, you mean carter.
336
00:16:23,767 --> 00:16:24,868
Lucky.
337
00:16:28,167 --> 00:16:29,133
Lucky me.
338
00:16:30,334 --> 00:16:31,346
You know, Mike,
339
00:16:31,467 --> 00:16:34,167
you are exactly
carter's type.
340
00:16:35,300 --> 00:16:36,434
Super.
341
00:16:40,300 --> 00:16:41,513
So, Michael,
342
00:16:41,634 --> 00:16:42,912
when did you come out ?
343
00:16:43,033 --> 00:16:44,179
Uh... huh ?
344
00:16:44,300 --> 00:16:45,613
Oh.
345
00:16:45,734 --> 00:16:46,847
Forget it.
Don't say anything.
346
00:16:46,968 --> 00:16:49,146
I can tell. You haven't yet, have you ?
347
00:16:49,267 --> 00:16:50,979
Uh, well...
348
00:16:51,100 --> 00:16:52,979
Manhattan is...
349
00:16:53,100 --> 00:16:54,834
such a conservative town.
350
00:17:01,133 --> 00:17:03,146
Ah. So, carter,
351
00:17:03,267 --> 00:17:05,680
whaddaya say ?
352
00:17:05,801 --> 00:17:07,546
Would ya like to be
my best man ?
353
00:17:07,667 --> 00:17:10,446
I... I'd love to, but I'm really busy.
354
00:17:10,567 --> 00:17:12,979
We haven't set a date yet. We
could plan it around your schedule.
355
00:17:13,100 --> 00:17:17,346
Busy, busy, busy. I can
barely come up for air.
356
00:17:17,467 --> 00:17:18,968
Tell him.
Tell him, Mike.
357
00:17:23,067 --> 00:17:24,300
Busy as a little bee.
358
00:17:26,400 --> 00:17:28,747
Come on, carter.
Don't be like this.
359
00:17:28,868 --> 00:17:30,346
Stop pushing me.
360
00:17:30,467 --> 00:17:31,912
You always did that.
It's driving me crazy.
361
00:17:32,033 --> 00:17:34,334
It's not gonna
happen, ok ? !
362
00:17:40,267 --> 00:17:42,546
Can't you say
something to him ?
363
00:17:42,667 --> 00:17:43,580
You know
what he's like
364
00:17:43,701 --> 00:17:45,167
when he's in one
of his moods.
365
00:17:49,300 --> 00:17:52,413
My date was a bust.
Thank you, Nikki.
366
00:17:52,534 --> 00:17:54,446
Carter, how'd things
go with Spence ?
367
00:17:54,567 --> 00:17:58,146
He's not even my type anymore.
I don't know what I was thinking.
368
00:17:58,267 --> 00:17:59,680
Paul, you and Claudia ?
369
00:17:59,801 --> 00:18:01,234
Tried to kill her.
370
00:18:05,033 --> 00:18:06,834
HI, veronica.
371
00:18:08,200 --> 00:18:10,979
Hi. Look, I been
doing a lot of thinking,
372
00:18:11,100 --> 00:18:13,246
and I decided
I acted badly earlier.
373
00:18:13,367 --> 00:18:14,912
I made
a big mistake.
374
00:18:15,033 --> 00:18:18,012
You're a man. I'm a woman.
It's valentine's day.
375
00:18:18,133 --> 00:18:20,501
There's no reason
we shouldn't have sex.
376
00:18:24,267 --> 00:18:25,646
Ok. Is this real,
377
00:18:25,767 --> 00:18:28,834
or did someone set this
up to make me crazy ?
378
00:18:31,100 --> 00:18:34,879
All right, hold on a minute, all right ?
379
00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:36,946
You know,
I have feelings.
380
00:18:37,067 --> 00:18:39,680
You can't just come waltzing
in here and expect me...
381
00:18:39,801 --> 00:18:41,513
yes or no ?
Yes.
382
00:18:41,634 --> 00:18:43,446
I'll let you say
good-bye to your friends,
383
00:18:43,567 --> 00:18:44,968
and I'll be right back.
384
00:18:50,701 --> 00:18:54,534
Well, who says you don't
get rewarded for good deeds ?
385
00:18:56,634 --> 00:18:58,100
Hey, Spence !
386
00:19:05,934 --> 00:19:09,012
Listen, carter, I couldn't
leave it like that.
387
00:19:09,133 --> 00:19:13,346
Welcome to our table of
romantic failures, Spence.
388
00:19:13,467 --> 00:19:15,513
Yeah. Mike's the only
lucky one here tonight.
389
00:19:15,634 --> 00:19:17,534
Of course.
He's got carter.
390
00:19:18,968 --> 00:19:20,413
Mike and carter ? Whaddaya
mean Mike and cart...
391
00:19:20,534 --> 00:19:22,046
Ow ! Ow !
392
00:19:22,167 --> 00:19:23,813
Somebody
kicked me !
393
00:19:23,934 --> 00:19:26,179
Sorry. Sorry. I was
just uncrossing my legs.
394
00:19:26,300 --> 00:19:27,179
No problem.
395
00:19:27,300 --> 00:19:28,546
Whaddaya mean
Mike and...
396
00:19:28,667 --> 00:19:29,546
Ow !
397
00:19:29,667 --> 00:19:31,879
Ow ! Ow !
398
00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:34,813
Sorry. Me again. Me again.
Just getting crowded there.
399
00:19:34,934 --> 00:19:36,879
Well, please !
I bruise easily.
400
00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:38,179
What... ow !
401
00:19:38,300 --> 00:19:39,834
Ow !
402
00:19:44,167 --> 00:19:46,146
That was me.
403
00:19:46,267 --> 00:19:48,467
I mean, why shouldn't I
get to play ?
404
00:19:51,334 --> 00:19:54,413
Uh, Spence, Mike and I
haven't told everyone here
405
00:19:54,534 --> 00:19:57,734
that we were
in love... yet.
406
00:19:59,601 --> 00:20:01,680
I can't believe this.
407
00:20:01,801 --> 00:20:04,580
You finally...
408
00:20:04,701 --> 00:20:06,834
tell me you love me...
409
00:20:08,634 --> 00:20:10,979
...you do it here.
410
00:20:11,100 --> 00:20:13,200
So, you wanna
get outta here ?
411
00:20:23,534 --> 00:20:25,901
Boy, are you barkin'
up the wrong tree.
412
00:20:31,667 --> 00:20:33,279
Then I guess
I'll be going.
413
00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:35,000
I'll see you
to the door.
414
00:20:36,434 --> 00:20:37,979
Happy valentine's day,
fellas.
415
00:20:38,100 --> 00:20:40,546
You know, I work
with Nikki, too.
416
00:20:40,667 --> 00:20:42,480
You're not
Stuart, right ?
417
00:20:42,601 --> 00:20:43,601
No.
418
00:20:48,100 --> 00:20:49,979
Well, you did
the right thing.
419
00:20:50,100 --> 00:20:51,912
Feel better ?
420
00:20:52,033 --> 00:20:53,912
No, not really.
421
00:20:54,033 --> 00:20:56,780
Wish you were a little
more petty and vindictive ?
422
00:20:56,901 --> 00:20:58,580
Yeah, pretty much.
423
00:20:58,701 --> 00:21:00,680
I know how that goes.
424
00:21:00,801 --> 00:21:02,680
I still want him
in my life.
425
00:21:02,801 --> 00:21:04,200
So...
426
00:21:05,601 --> 00:21:07,901
this is being gay.
427
00:21:10,767 --> 00:21:12,534
Yeah. This is what
we're fighting for.
428
00:21:15,567 --> 00:21:18,079
As much as I'd like to
hang around and experiment,
429
00:21:18,200 --> 00:21:20,480
I must get back to
the heterosexual world.
430
00:21:20,601 --> 00:21:22,879
Mike, I really
appreciate...
431
00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:25,334
no, don't.
Don't even say it.
432
00:21:26,968 --> 00:21:28,546
You were there
for me,
433
00:21:28,667 --> 00:21:30,613
and whenever
you need it,
434
00:21:30,734 --> 00:21:32,012
I'll be there
for you.
435
00:21:32,133 --> 00:21:33,079
Good.
436
00:21:33,200 --> 00:21:34,968
Wedding's in June.
437
00:21:37,167 --> 00:21:39,300
You're gonna need
to get a tux.
438
00:21:44,734 --> 00:21:46,713
Oh, I ruined
valentine's day.
439
00:21:46,834 --> 00:21:48,713
Oh, Paulie,
it's just one night.
440
00:21:48,834 --> 00:21:51,179
Besides, it's, what,
only 10 to 12:00.
441
00:21:51,300 --> 00:21:54,146
There's still time
left for romance.
442
00:21:54,267 --> 00:21:55,179
Really ?
443
00:21:55,300 --> 00:21:56,346
Yeah.
444
00:21:56,467 --> 00:21:57,613
Why don't you start
by getting me a drink ?
445
00:21:57,734 --> 00:21:59,267
I could use one.
446
00:22:00,901 --> 00:22:01,813
That'll take too long.
447
00:22:01,934 --> 00:22:03,780
Here, take mine.
I'll get a fresh one.
448
00:22:03,901 --> 00:22:06,213
Ok. Thank you,
honey.
449
00:22:06,334 --> 00:22:07,580
Mmm.
450
00:22:07,701 --> 00:22:09,546
I know that taste.
451
00:22:09,667 --> 00:22:11,646
It's a daiquiri.
452
00:22:11,767 --> 00:22:13,667
I'll call an ambulance.
453
00:22:15,067 --> 00:22:17,634
Sit, Ubu, sit. Good dog.
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
www.tvsubtitles.net
31280
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
