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1
00:00:04,267 --> 00:00:06,680
James ! Hey ! Mm-mwah !
2
00:00:06,801 --> 00:00:10,113
Mmm ! I missed you.
How was your Christmas ?
3
00:00:10,234 --> 00:00:14,012
Uh, it was good, Nikki.
I... I missed you, too.
4
00:00:14,133 --> 00:00:15,680
I can't tell you
how excited I was
5
00:00:15,801 --> 00:00:16,979
when you asked me out
for a drink tonight.
6
00:00:17,100 --> 00:00:19,813
Yeah, well, the others
should be here pretty soon.
7
00:00:19,934 --> 00:00:21,912
Uh, the others ?
8
00:00:22,033 --> 00:00:24,747
Uh... great.
9
00:00:24,868 --> 00:00:26,912
That way, you know,
we don't have to be alone...
10
00:00:27,033 --> 00:00:29,513
uh, just the two of us.
11
00:00:29,634 --> 00:00:31,580
Hey, hey. Happy new year.
Happy new year.
12
00:00:31,701 --> 00:00:33,580
Hey, guys. How was your
Christmas ?
13
00:00:33,701 --> 00:00:34,879
Nice.
14
00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:37,146
Lots of family.
15
00:00:37,267 --> 00:00:38,613
Mine was perfect.
16
00:00:38,734 --> 00:00:40,813
I gave myself a steak dinner,
a case of Heineken,
17
00:00:40,934 --> 00:00:44,747
and a few very special
adult videos.
18
00:00:44,868 --> 00:00:46,747
If you were alone,
you should have called.
19
00:00:46,868 --> 00:00:48,067
My parents
were there.
20
00:00:50,200 --> 00:00:51,813
Oh, don't sit there.
That's broken.
21
00:00:51,934 --> 00:00:52,946
Oh.
22
00:00:53,067 --> 00:00:55,546
I guess Mike's
not joining us, huh ?
23
00:00:55,667 --> 00:00:58,979
I called him a couple of times,
left messages. He's not picking up.
24
00:00:59,100 --> 00:01:00,680
I can't believe Mike
and Ashley split.
25
00:01:00,801 --> 00:01:02,580
I thought they would
go the distance.
26
00:01:02,701 --> 00:01:05,012
Does anyone know
why they broke up ?
27
00:01:05,133 --> 00:01:06,946
I've heard hundreds
of different rumors.
28
00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:08,879
You're in a public
position, people talk.
29
00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:10,879
There's probably not
a person in this city
30
00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:12,413
that doesn't know
about this.
31
00:01:12,534 --> 00:01:14,380
Happy new year, guys !
32
00:01:14,501 --> 00:01:17,879
So, did you make any
resolutions this year, huh ?
33
00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:20,912
Mine is to be
less gullible this year.
34
00:01:21,033 --> 00:01:22,646
Mike and Ashley
broke up.
35
00:01:22,767 --> 00:01:24,246
Oh ho ho ! Come on !
36
00:01:24,367 --> 00:01:26,780
Ha ha ! Very good.
Not going to work.
37
00:01:26,901 --> 00:01:29,113
Oh, don't sit there !
That's broken.
38
00:01:29,234 --> 00:01:30,279
Oh, please.
39
00:01:30,400 --> 00:01:33,279
Oh, people, what do you
take me for, huh ?
40
00:01:33,400 --> 00:01:34,567
Aah !
41
00:01:37,434 --> 00:01:39,033
Mike and Ashley
broke up ?
42
00:01:54,901 --> 00:01:57,613
Welcome back. How's
everybody doing ?
43
00:01:57,734 --> 00:01:59,747
- Hey, Mike.
- How are you ?
44
00:01:59,868 --> 00:02:01,879
How are you doing,
Mike ?
45
00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:04,100
Oh, god.
The pity face.
46
00:02:05,801 --> 00:02:08,113
Look, you got to get a message
back to girl headquarters.
47
00:02:08,234 --> 00:02:10,567
Let them know
guys hate the pity face.
48
00:02:12,567 --> 00:02:13,646
Ah !
Ooh !
49
00:02:13,767 --> 00:02:14,979
It's pretty bad.
50
00:02:15,100 --> 00:02:17,046
I take it you heard
Ashley and I split up.
51
00:02:17,167 --> 00:02:18,380
I should probably make
a brief statement.
52
00:02:18,501 --> 00:02:20,580
Ashley got offered
a terrific job in L.A.
53
00:02:20,701 --> 00:02:22,480
She took it.
I supported her.
54
00:02:22,601 --> 00:02:26,000
She left. She's fine.
I'm fine. The end.
55
00:02:27,501 --> 00:02:30,334
Press 2 if you want this message
repeated in Spanish.
56
00:02:31,934 --> 00:02:32,879
What's in the box ?
57
00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:34,012
Just some of her stuff.
58
00:02:34,133 --> 00:02:37,313
It's, uh... you know,
sweatshirt, 4 books,
59
00:02:37,434 --> 00:02:40,813
6 CDs, picture frame,
pair of earrings...
60
00:02:40,934 --> 00:02:42,434
bra.
61
00:02:43,868 --> 00:02:45,680
That's pathetic.
62
00:02:45,801 --> 00:02:46,912
What ? What ?
63
00:02:47,033 --> 00:02:48,879
Come on, Mike.
It's so obvious.
64
00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:50,246
It's a breakup box.
65
00:02:50,367 --> 00:02:52,079
You could have thrown
all that stuff out, but no,
66
00:02:52,200 --> 00:02:53,346
you had to
send it all back,
67
00:02:53,467 --> 00:02:55,912
hoping each item dredges
up some painful memory.
68
00:02:56,033 --> 00:02:59,313
Yeah.
Especially the bra.
69
00:02:59,434 --> 00:03:04,179
See, it was the first one she gave me.
70
00:03:04,300 --> 00:03:08,079
It was designed to
both lift and separate.
71
00:03:08,200 --> 00:03:09,513
Come on !
It's her stuff !
72
00:03:09,634 --> 00:03:11,847
I got to send it back
to her. Can we move on ?
73
00:03:11,968 --> 00:03:13,413
You know,
I got dumped once.
74
00:03:13,534 --> 00:03:14,501
No !
75
00:03:18,200 --> 00:03:19,580
No, seriously,
I did.
76
00:03:19,701 --> 00:03:21,780
I'd like to point out
that this is irrelevant,
77
00:03:21,901 --> 00:03:23,179
seeing as
I did not get dumped.
78
00:03:23,300 --> 00:03:25,879
We broke up. It's a giant
difference. It is huge.
79
00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:28,400
Can I tell
my story anyway ?
80
00:03:29,501 --> 00:03:31,279
All right.
81
00:03:31,400 --> 00:03:33,380
I met this girl
in college.
82
00:03:33,501 --> 00:03:34,912
She was a sophomore.
I was a freshman.
83
00:03:35,033 --> 00:03:37,934
We dated for 3 years, and
she just up and left me.
84
00:03:39,033 --> 00:03:40,246
James...
85
00:03:40,367 --> 00:03:42,033
she graduated.
86
00:03:44,601 --> 00:03:47,546
I'm really excited to release
these holiday tourism statistics.
87
00:03:47,667 --> 00:03:50,979
Press eats this stuff up
like yogurt-covered raisins.
88
00:03:51,100 --> 00:03:52,912
That's an interesting
reference.
89
00:03:53,033 --> 00:03:56,879
You cover anything with
yogurt... ha ha ! Count me in.
90
00:03:57,000 --> 00:04:00,546
That attitude can get you
in a lot of trouble, Paul.
91
00:04:00,667 --> 00:04:03,979
Oh, you're not really going to
use those statistics, are you ?
92
00:04:04,100 --> 00:04:05,513
'Cause, uh...
93
00:04:05,634 --> 00:04:07,179
'cause
I made them up.
94
00:04:07,300 --> 00:04:08,346
What ?
95
00:04:08,467 --> 00:04:10,847
Oh, no. I could lose
my job for this.
96
00:04:10,968 --> 00:04:12,646
I could go to jail.
97
00:04:12,767 --> 00:04:15,780
Jeez, Paul, I thought you weren't
going to be so gullible this year.
98
00:04:15,901 --> 00:04:18,713
Why did I tell you people
about my new year's resolution ?
99
00:04:18,834 --> 00:04:20,380
Stupid ! Stupid ! Stupid !
100
00:04:20,501 --> 00:04:22,380
Why am I here anyway ?
101
00:04:22,501 --> 00:04:24,079
This is routine stuff.
102
00:04:24,200 --> 00:04:26,946
You and Ashley saw a lot
of each other in that room,
103
00:04:27,067 --> 00:04:28,546
and, uh, you know...
104
00:04:28,667 --> 00:04:31,946
so you're thinking if I
don't go back in there today,
105
00:04:32,067 --> 00:04:33,747
I may never go back ?
106
00:04:33,868 --> 00:04:35,012
Yeah.
107
00:04:35,133 --> 00:04:37,179
You've been watching
too many soaps.
108
00:04:37,300 --> 00:04:38,601
Let's get this thing
over with.
109
00:04:44,601 --> 00:04:45,979
What ?
110
00:04:46,100 --> 00:04:48,613
I...
111
00:04:48,734 --> 00:04:52,046
I- I-I don't know.
I can't go in there.
112
00:04:52,167 --> 00:04:54,079
I can't go
in that room.
113
00:04:54,200 --> 00:04:56,146
It... it's like...
114
00:04:56,267 --> 00:05:01,747
it's like there's this
invisible barrier that...
115
00:05:01,868 --> 00:05:03,413
my heart
won't let me cross.
116
00:05:03,534 --> 00:05:04,467
Oh, god.
117
00:05:06,300 --> 00:05:09,313
Oh, god. It's too soon, isn't it ?
118
00:05:09,434 --> 00:05:11,968
It's gonna be a long year for you, Paul.
119
00:05:16,100 --> 00:05:17,501
Mike, read...
120
00:05:19,167 --> 00:05:20,879
morning, sir.
Read this, please.
121
00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:21,934
All right.
122
00:05:23,000 --> 00:05:23,879
Wow ! John Tesh
123
00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:26,813
is giving a free
concert in the park.
124
00:05:26,934 --> 00:05:28,079
The next page.
125
00:05:28,200 --> 00:05:30,000
I love John Tesh !
126
00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:35,046
I know you do, sir.
127
00:05:35,167 --> 00:05:37,413
Oh, sir, these are
political cartoons.
128
00:05:37,534 --> 00:05:39,546
Yes, but they have gotten
very personal, Mike.
129
00:05:39,667 --> 00:05:42,113
You're a public figure. You're
gonna get nailed a few times.
130
00:05:42,234 --> 00:05:43,780
The fact that they
choose you to make fun of
131
00:05:43,901 --> 00:05:45,480
could almost be
considered flattering.
132
00:05:45,601 --> 00:05:46,912
Oh, really ? Well,
what about the one here
133
00:05:47,033 --> 00:05:48,467
where I have
an ass head ?
134
00:05:50,167 --> 00:05:53,546
Well, the donkey has long been
a popular political symbol.
135
00:05:53,667 --> 00:05:54,912
No, not a donkey
head, Mike...
136
00:05:55,033 --> 00:05:56,701
an ass head.
137
00:05:58,334 --> 00:06:00,033
Oh, my. Well.
138
00:06:04,634 --> 00:06:07,046
It's not very flattering
at all, is it, sir ?
139
00:06:07,167 --> 00:06:08,912
I'll tell you what.
I'll give them a call.
140
00:06:09,033 --> 00:06:11,413
Or we could just hoist
you up on the copy machine,
141
00:06:11,534 --> 00:06:13,200
fax them
a better likeness.
142
00:06:15,100 --> 00:06:16,413
Yeah, yes,
you're right.
143
00:06:16,534 --> 00:06:18,012
Well, listen,
144
00:06:18,133 --> 00:06:20,780
this cartoon isn't the
real reason I came in here.
145
00:06:20,901 --> 00:06:21,946
I heard
about you and...
146
00:06:22,067 --> 00:06:23,279
Ashley.
Yeah.
147
00:06:23,400 --> 00:06:25,847
Yeah, I figured.
I'm... I'm ok.
148
00:06:25,968 --> 00:06:27,613
If you need
any time off or...
149
00:06:27,734 --> 00:06:29,246
I just had some.
150
00:06:29,367 --> 00:06:31,546
I tell you what.
I'll take a rain check.
151
00:06:31,667 --> 00:06:33,446
That way, if there's
any lingering sadness
152
00:06:33,567 --> 00:06:37,012
in say, like, July, when
the weather's really hot...
153
00:06:37,133 --> 00:06:40,646
I'll take
a few long weekends.
154
00:06:40,767 --> 00:06:42,279
Ha ha ha !
155
00:06:42,400 --> 00:06:44,067
I don't think so.
156
00:06:45,701 --> 00:06:48,546
Look, sir, I'm not
going to lie to you.
157
00:06:48,667 --> 00:06:51,513
It's not easy to end
a relationship.
158
00:06:51,634 --> 00:06:54,067
So there's nothing I
can do. I'm fine, sir.
159
00:06:57,968 --> 00:06:59,079
Heading out ?
160
00:06:59,200 --> 00:07:01,146
I'm trying to.
And...
161
00:07:01,267 --> 00:07:04,534
good. You're taking your little
cardboard friend with you.
162
00:07:05,701 --> 00:07:07,413
All right, now, Mike.
163
00:07:07,534 --> 00:07:09,513
If you need to talk
to anyone later,
164
00:07:09,634 --> 00:07:12,146
I'm going to be hard to get
ahold of because I've got a date.
165
00:07:12,267 --> 00:07:14,167
I don't think Mike needs to
hear about that right now.
166
00:07:15,701 --> 00:07:17,713
In fact, I don't think Mike
needs you to be dating, period
167
00:07:17,834 --> 00:07:18,767
no more dating !
168
00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:21,979
You know, that's a catchy slogan, James.
169
00:07:22,100 --> 00:07:24,146
If we need to lock up
the Amish vote,
170
00:07:24,267 --> 00:07:26,480
we can slap that
on a buggy sticker.
171
00:07:26,601 --> 00:07:28,480
Uh, point
of information, Mike.
172
00:07:28,601 --> 00:07:32,879
Technically, the Amish are not
allowed to decorate their buggies.
173
00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:35,012
How could you
possibly know that ?
174
00:07:35,133 --> 00:07:37,946
The Amish have a web
site on the internet.
175
00:07:38,067 --> 00:07:42,000
You know, normal people
download nudie pictures...
176
00:07:43,501 --> 00:07:46,680
but you hang out
on the Amish home page.
177
00:07:46,801 --> 00:07:49,000
They have
nudie pictures.
178
00:07:53,501 --> 00:07:54,801
Yeah ?
179
00:07:55,968 --> 00:07:58,179
How do you log on ?
180
00:07:58,300 --> 00:08:00,701
Am-babe. Com.
181
00:08:04,634 --> 00:08:07,413
You know what it's like
to feel empty, Clayton ?
182
00:08:07,534 --> 00:08:10,534
Feel a big, gaping hole
around you wherever you go ?
183
00:08:14,934 --> 00:08:17,680
Can I just get
my 9 bucks ?
184
00:08:17,801 --> 00:08:19,747
I mean, look at me,
Clayton.
185
00:08:19,868 --> 00:08:21,546
Look at me.
This...
186
00:08:21,667 --> 00:08:23,446
this isn't
who I am.
187
00:08:23,567 --> 00:08:26,246
You can give me a 10
or a 20. I don't care.
188
00:08:26,367 --> 00:08:27,580
I can make change.
189
00:08:27,701 --> 00:08:30,346
All right, come on.
Have a slice with me, ok ?
190
00:08:30,467 --> 00:08:32,346
Sorry the place
is a mess, but...
191
00:08:32,467 --> 00:08:34,513
here. See ?
All right ? Ok ?
192
00:08:34,634 --> 00:08:35,813
We'll hang out.
We'll have a beer.
193
00:08:35,934 --> 00:08:38,701
Just 2 guys.
We don't need anybody.
194
00:08:41,033 --> 00:08:42,279
Oh, hey.
195
00:08:42,400 --> 00:08:44,801
Be a sport and get that
for me, would you, Clayton ?
196
00:08:46,567 --> 00:08:47,946
Michael Flaherty ?
197
00:08:48,067 --> 00:08:49,246
Oh, hey !
198
00:08:49,367 --> 00:08:51,067
Beerski, friend ?
199
00:08:52,400 --> 00:08:54,213
Dude, get out
while you can.
200
00:08:54,334 --> 00:08:57,179
I'm just here
for a signature.
201
00:08:57,300 --> 00:09:00,133
I just want 9 bucks.
I've been here since noon.
202
00:09:03,367 --> 00:09:05,847
Listen, I just have the
paper plates. Is that ok ?
203
00:09:05,968 --> 00:09:08,713
Listen, sir, this pizza's on me. See ya.
204
00:09:08,834 --> 00:09:10,847
Clayton !
Clayton ! Whoa !
205
00:09:10,968 --> 00:09:12,501
Clayton !
206
00:09:14,067 --> 00:09:16,000
You're good people,
Clayton !
207
00:09:17,501 --> 00:09:19,879
Guy really
understands me.
208
00:09:20,000 --> 00:09:21,501
So...
209
00:09:25,133 --> 00:09:28,813
Going to be able to
hang out for a bit ?
210
00:09:28,934 --> 00:09:34,813
You have a package going to
Ashley Schaeffer in Los Angeles ?
211
00:09:34,934 --> 00:09:36,246
Yes, I do.
Yes, I do.
212
00:09:36,367 --> 00:09:38,946
Right over... oop !
Whoa !
213
00:09:39,067 --> 00:09:39,946
Here we go.
214
00:09:40,067 --> 00:09:41,246
If you would just sign
by the "x," sir.
215
00:09:41,367 --> 00:09:43,012
All right.
So, hey, jimmy.
216
00:09:43,133 --> 00:09:44,847
You look like
the type of fella
217
00:09:44,968 --> 00:09:46,513
who's had
a few relationships.
218
00:09:46,634 --> 00:09:49,000
Keep your eye
on that "x," sir.
219
00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:54,480
All business,
huh, jimmy ?
220
00:09:54,601 --> 00:09:56,813
I respect that.
I know the type.
221
00:09:56,934 --> 00:09:59,834
There you go. Ok.
222
00:10:05,701 --> 00:10:08,979
I'm sorry. I know this is
going to sound weird to you,
223
00:10:09,100 --> 00:10:11,246
but I can't let you
take this box.
224
00:10:11,367 --> 00:10:13,446
Listen, buddy, you
just signed the invoice.
225
00:10:13,567 --> 00:10:15,046
It's my responsibility now.
226
00:10:15,167 --> 00:10:16,646
I have to take it.
227
00:10:16,767 --> 00:10:19,313
Maybe you could just
take something else, huh ?
228
00:10:19,434 --> 00:10:21,313
How about
the lazy Susan ?
229
00:10:21,434 --> 00:10:23,979
All right. Ok.
I got the invoice.
230
00:10:24,100 --> 00:10:26,046
You're free to go.
231
00:10:26,167 --> 00:10:28,380
Oh. I get it.
232
00:10:28,501 --> 00:10:29,813
What ?
233
00:10:29,934 --> 00:10:32,100
It's a breakup box.
234
00:10:33,601 --> 00:10:36,046
You can't
prove that.
235
00:10:36,167 --> 00:10:39,313
Listen, buddy, trust me.
I do this every day.
236
00:10:39,434 --> 00:10:42,234
She's not coming back. She
doesn't love you anymore.
237
00:10:46,100 --> 00:10:48,300
You're never getting
this away from me.
238
00:10:49,734 --> 00:10:51,313
Jimmy.
239
00:10:51,434 --> 00:10:52,367
Jimmy !
240
00:10:55,334 --> 00:10:57,267
You know, you're
stronger than you look.
241
00:10:59,100 --> 00:11:01,801
Jimmy, give me the box ! Give me the box !
242
00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:09,012
You got back together
with him ?
243
00:11:09,133 --> 00:11:11,979
Yes. That's what makes my
breakup story so good...
244
00:11:12,100 --> 00:11:13,580
the rare double breakup.
245
00:11:13,701 --> 00:11:15,413
We lived together.
He left me.
246
00:11:15,534 --> 00:11:17,912
I took him back. He left
me again. No warning.
247
00:11:18,033 --> 00:11:20,413
One day, I got home
from work,
248
00:11:20,534 --> 00:11:23,546
he'd already moved his things
into a friend's apartment.
249
00:11:23,667 --> 00:11:24,747
His, uh...
250
00:11:24,868 --> 00:11:25,901
things ?
251
00:11:27,200 --> 00:11:31,033
Yeah, you know... handcuffs,
whips, other sex toys.
252
00:11:32,200 --> 00:11:34,413
His clothes,
you fool.
253
00:11:34,534 --> 00:11:37,012
Personal effects. God ! Sorry.
254
00:11:37,133 --> 00:11:39,334
I wandered.
Sue me !
255
00:11:40,467 --> 00:11:42,346
Guys, it is almost noon.
256
00:11:42,467 --> 00:11:43,480
Mike is still not in yet.
257
00:11:43,601 --> 00:11:44,847
I know.
I'm worried, too.
258
00:11:44,968 --> 00:11:47,313
I think we should wait
about another 15 minutes,
259
00:11:47,434 --> 00:11:49,912
and if he doesn't
show up, call it a day.
260
00:11:50,033 --> 00:11:51,912
I'm going to
try him again.
261
00:11:52,033 --> 00:11:55,613
So, Nik...
what you doing tonight ?
262
00:11:55,734 --> 00:11:57,346
"Nik" ?
263
00:11:57,467 --> 00:11:59,546
Cozy night
with Mr. TV ?
264
00:11:59,667 --> 00:12:02,012
Nah, Mr. Fuchs.
Dan... my date.
265
00:12:02,133 --> 00:12:05,279
My date this,
my date that.
266
00:12:05,400 --> 00:12:07,313
I was just mumbling.
267
00:12:07,434 --> 00:12:09,446
Mike ? It's Nikki.
268
00:12:09,567 --> 00:12:12,380
Hey, Nikki.
How you doing ?
269
00:12:12,501 --> 00:12:15,046
Forget about me.
How are you doing ?
270
00:12:15,167 --> 00:12:17,613
Oh, I'm fine.
I'm fine.
271
00:12:17,734 --> 00:12:19,613
Just taking
a personal day.
272
00:12:19,734 --> 00:12:21,179
Well, you want
some company ?
273
00:12:21,300 --> 00:12:24,213
Oh, I don't think there's
a whole lot of room in here.
274
00:12:24,334 --> 00:12:26,613
I mean, I got
a few people over,
275
00:12:26,734 --> 00:12:28,434
and there's
an occupancy limit.
276
00:12:31,267 --> 00:12:32,613
Anyway,
I'm... I'm fine.
277
00:12:32,734 --> 00:12:34,012
Thanks for
checking on me.
278
00:12:34,133 --> 00:12:35,879
O- ok.
279
00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:37,067
Ok.
280
00:12:38,934 --> 00:12:41,346
That was a special treat watching
you handle that briefing, sir.
281
00:12:41,467 --> 00:12:43,946
Well, with what passes
for news these days,
282
00:12:44,067 --> 00:12:49,012
I knew there'd be more than a couple
of questions about Mike's personal life.
283
00:12:49,133 --> 00:12:50,213
What kind of friend
would I be
284
00:12:50,334 --> 00:12:53,146
if I didn't just step in
and deflect a few shots ?
285
00:12:53,267 --> 00:12:55,446
May I say, sir,
it was very impressive.
286
00:12:55,567 --> 00:12:57,513
Well,
thank you very much.
287
00:12:57,634 --> 00:12:59,513
I've always excelled
at public speaking.
288
00:12:59,634 --> 00:13:00,979
Well, that's, uh...
289
00:13:01,100 --> 00:13:05,580
that's an advantage in the
political arena, no doubt, sir.
290
00:13:05,701 --> 00:13:08,446
Well, I really appreciate you
letting me sub in for you today.
291
00:13:08,567 --> 00:13:10,946
Oh, you can fill
my shoes anytime, sir.
292
00:13:11,067 --> 00:13:13,446
Yeah, well, Paul,
Therein lies the problem.
293
00:13:13,567 --> 00:13:14,946
Problem ?
294
00:13:15,067 --> 00:13:16,946
See, interacting
with the press
295
00:13:17,067 --> 00:13:19,946
is one of my favorite
things about public office,
296
00:13:20,067 --> 00:13:22,380
but with you
here, I...
297
00:13:22,501 --> 00:13:25,480
I just don't get to seem to
do it as often as I'd like.
298
00:13:25,601 --> 00:13:27,446
What are you
getting at, sir ?
299
00:13:27,567 --> 00:13:30,380
Well, I've decided to
discontinue your position here
300
00:13:30,501 --> 00:13:33,413
and, uh...
handle things myself.
301
00:13:33,534 --> 00:13:35,868
We're going to
let you go, Paul.
302
00:13:37,267 --> 00:13:38,912
Oh. Well...
303
00:13:39,033 --> 00:13:41,979
I'll just pack
my things, sir.
304
00:13:42,100 --> 00:13:43,446
Boy, Paul.
They were right.
305
00:13:43,567 --> 00:13:46,067
You're easy pickings.
Ha ha ha !
306
00:13:51,067 --> 00:13:52,847
Hey, Lassiter,
your fly's open.
307
00:13:52,968 --> 00:13:54,133
Oh.
308
00:13:58,934 --> 00:14:00,847
I can't believe
you cooked for me.
309
00:14:00,968 --> 00:14:02,912
Well, before I became
a bond trader,
310
00:14:03,033 --> 00:14:04,847
I was a chef
for a while.
311
00:14:04,968 --> 00:14:06,012
Wow.
312
00:14:06,133 --> 00:14:08,580
Got any other interesting
jobs in your past ?
313
00:14:08,701 --> 00:14:10,313
I was a masseur.
314
00:14:10,434 --> 00:14:11,813
Yes !
315
00:14:11,934 --> 00:14:13,879
If you've never been
convicted of a felony,
316
00:14:14,000 --> 00:14:15,446
you can move in
tomorrow.
317
00:14:15,567 --> 00:14:16,879
Ooh, so close.
318
00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:19,780
You kill one guy, and
it haunts you forever.
319
00:14:19,901 --> 00:14:21,480
But 2 out of 3
ain't bad, right ?
320
00:14:21,601 --> 00:14:23,546
I mean, this date's
going pretty well.
321
00:14:23,667 --> 00:14:25,079
What, are you kidding ?
322
00:14:25,200 --> 00:14:27,012
You know what that
sound is, don't you ?
323
00:14:27,133 --> 00:14:29,179
The sound of us clicking.
You hear that ?
324
00:14:29,300 --> 00:14:31,000
I think so.
325
00:14:36,834 --> 00:14:38,747
Yeah, I'm definitely picking it up now.
326
00:14:38,868 --> 00:14:40,534
It's more
of a knocking sound.
327
00:14:44,234 --> 00:14:45,646
Nikki. Nikki,
you were right.
328
00:14:45,767 --> 00:14:47,113
I am an idiot !
329
00:14:47,234 --> 00:14:49,446
I need to talk,
and I need you to listen.
330
00:14:49,567 --> 00:14:51,012
Hi. I'm Mike...
331
00:14:51,133 --> 00:14:53,000
Nikki's 9:00 date.
332
00:14:54,934 --> 00:14:58,968
Dan. I'd like you
to meet Mike... my boss.
333
00:15:01,434 --> 00:15:03,313
Uh, well,
I... I should...
334
00:15:03,434 --> 00:15:05,434
I should
probably go.
335
00:15:10,767 --> 00:15:12,113
No. You stay.
336
00:15:12,234 --> 00:15:13,546
I asked you to talk.
You came to talk.
337
00:15:13,667 --> 00:15:15,334
We're going to talk,
just you and me.
338
00:15:16,400 --> 00:15:18,046
And Dan.
339
00:15:18,167 --> 00:15:20,346
I don't want to
drag you guys down.
340
00:15:20,467 --> 00:15:22,012
The date must go on.
341
00:15:22,133 --> 00:15:24,313
What did you guys
have planned ?
342
00:15:24,434 --> 00:15:27,213
We were going to catch
the new star trek movie.
343
00:15:27,334 --> 00:15:30,079
Well, I've seen that.
344
00:15:30,200 --> 00:15:32,146
Of course
you have.
345
00:15:32,267 --> 00:15:34,912
What about dinner ? That's
a date thing, right ?
346
00:15:35,033 --> 00:15:38,713
Yeah, we could eat...
again.
347
00:15:38,834 --> 00:15:40,279
Ok, great.
Well, listen.
348
00:15:40,400 --> 00:15:42,480
I'm just going to
use the bathroom.
349
00:15:42,601 --> 00:15:45,601
Dan, why don't you
pick the restaurant ?
350
00:15:47,334 --> 00:15:50,946
You are a doll. He has
been in such a bad place.
351
00:15:51,067 --> 00:15:52,346
I know this is
really awkward for you.
352
00:15:52,467 --> 00:15:55,133
Nah, it's ok. It's like we
have our own chaperone...
353
00:15:56,300 --> 00:15:58,033
Or two.
354
00:15:59,601 --> 00:16:01,179
James ?
355
00:16:01,300 --> 00:16:03,033
Hey, Nikki. Excuse me.
356
00:16:05,534 --> 00:16:07,200
You must be the date.
357
00:16:08,868 --> 00:16:09,747
Dan.
358
00:16:09,868 --> 00:16:10,801
Uh-uh.
359
00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:14,067
James, what are you
doing here ?
360
00:16:15,167 --> 00:16:17,979
I- I-I, uh, I came to talk
about Mike.
361
00:16:18,100 --> 00:16:19,446
I'm really worried
about him.
362
00:16:19,567 --> 00:16:20,912
Well, actually,
he's here.
363
00:16:21,033 --> 00:16:21,968
Yeah, whatever.
364
00:16:24,033 --> 00:16:25,701
So...
365
00:16:26,767 --> 00:16:27,701
what do you do, Dan ?
366
00:16:40,667 --> 00:16:42,701
I like your box.
367
00:16:43,767 --> 00:16:44,734
Thank you.
368
00:16:45,934 --> 00:16:49,480
Mike. I thought you
wanted to talk tonight.
369
00:16:49,601 --> 00:16:52,546
I just got to go slow, ok ?
I want to ease into it.
370
00:16:52,667 --> 00:16:55,979
You know, I've been through
a couple of painful breakups.
371
00:16:56,100 --> 00:16:58,601
You hear that, Nikki ? He
loves 'em and leaves 'em.
372
00:17:01,033 --> 00:17:02,246
Citizens of Gotham !
373
00:17:02,367 --> 00:17:03,246
Howdy, howdy, howdy.
374
00:17:03,367 --> 00:17:04,646
More friends ?
375
00:17:04,767 --> 00:17:07,780
I like to date
in large groups.
376
00:17:07,901 --> 00:17:09,046
Who's
the new guy ?
377
00:17:09,167 --> 00:17:10,380
Nikki's date... Dan.
378
00:17:10,501 --> 00:17:11,446
How's the date
going ?
379
00:17:11,567 --> 00:17:13,613
Uhh...
380
00:17:13,734 --> 00:17:15,113
so, Mr. Big talk,
381
00:17:15,234 --> 00:17:17,646
you going to finish
your breakup story or what ?
382
00:17:17,767 --> 00:17:19,879
I did. She climbed
down the fire escape
383
00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:21,413
and left my life
forever.
384
00:17:21,534 --> 00:17:22,413
That's it ?
385
00:17:22,534 --> 00:17:24,613
Hey ! We lived
on the 14th floor !
386
00:17:24,734 --> 00:17:27,613
She was carrying all
my luggage and my TV !
387
00:17:27,734 --> 00:17:29,246
My breakup story's
much better.
388
00:17:29,367 --> 00:17:30,713
Mine was better
than yours.
389
00:17:30,834 --> 00:17:32,413
Not !
390
00:17:32,534 --> 00:17:34,380
You know what ?
It's getting late.
391
00:17:34,501 --> 00:17:36,380
I should really
get going.
392
00:17:36,501 --> 00:17:38,567
Uh... I had
a wonderful date...
393
00:17:39,634 --> 00:17:40,567
...with all of you.
394
00:17:42,234 --> 00:17:43,713
Good night, Nikki.
395
00:17:43,834 --> 00:17:46,446
Sorry about this,
Dan.
396
00:17:46,567 --> 00:17:48,313
Give me a call sometime.
We'll go out again.
397
00:17:48,434 --> 00:17:50,213
You can count on it.
398
00:17:50,334 --> 00:17:51,713
Drive safely.
399
00:17:51,834 --> 00:17:53,446
Thanks for
dinner, Dan.
400
00:17:53,567 --> 00:17:55,000
Go get 'em,
tiger.
401
00:17:58,200 --> 00:17:59,480
He is so
not gonna call you.
402
00:17:59,601 --> 00:18:00,747
Not a chance, Nik.
403
00:18:00,868 --> 00:18:02,501
Sayonara,
Danny boy.
404
00:18:06,667 --> 00:18:08,146
I'm going to get us
another round.
405
00:18:08,267 --> 00:18:09,534
I'll help carry.
406
00:18:11,033 --> 00:18:13,546
She might not have
the best breakup story,
407
00:18:13,667 --> 00:18:16,146
but now she's definitely
got the quickest.
408
00:18:16,267 --> 00:18:18,747
I don't know.
Yours is pretty fast.
409
00:18:18,868 --> 00:18:21,912
It's like Ashley
just disappeared.
410
00:18:22,033 --> 00:18:23,979
She left last Tuesday.
411
00:18:24,100 --> 00:18:25,912
New year's eve ?
412
00:18:26,033 --> 00:18:27,413
Yeah.
413
00:18:27,534 --> 00:18:29,513
Tough travel day.
414
00:18:29,634 --> 00:18:32,480
And you didn't
ask her to stay ?
415
00:18:32,601 --> 00:18:35,912
Nope. Nope. Stuart, it wouldn't
have been fair to either of us.
416
00:18:36,033 --> 00:18:38,446
So she just
got on a plane.
417
00:18:38,567 --> 00:18:40,067
What a bitch.
418
00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:48,567
The situation, Mike,
not the girl !
419
00:18:50,400 --> 00:18:52,780
What are you
doing ?
420
00:18:52,901 --> 00:18:55,446
Uh... nothing.
421
00:18:55,567 --> 00:18:57,613
Nothing. Just...
playing around.
422
00:18:57,734 --> 00:18:59,000
I don't like
that game.
423
00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:06,313
Mike, you left
your coat.
424
00:19:06,434 --> 00:19:07,313
Thanks.
425
00:19:07,434 --> 00:19:08,713
Everything ok
in there ?
426
00:19:08,834 --> 00:19:10,380
James and carter
are fine.
427
00:19:10,501 --> 00:19:12,213
Stuart's hiding
under a table.
428
00:19:12,334 --> 00:19:15,680
I'm the first boss who tried
to choke Stuart to death ?
429
00:19:15,801 --> 00:19:18,413
Mike, you got
a problem here.
430
00:19:18,534 --> 00:19:19,847
Yeah.
Tell me about it.
431
00:19:19,968 --> 00:19:21,646
It's impossible to
catch a cab in this city
432
00:19:21,767 --> 00:19:23,580
when you're
carrying a box.
433
00:19:23,701 --> 00:19:25,033
Damn Unabomber.
434
00:19:26,300 --> 00:19:27,179
Oh, yeah.
435
00:19:27,300 --> 00:19:29,246
Great. Mike, you can't do this.
436
00:19:29,367 --> 00:19:30,513
Yeah, you're right.
My bad.
437
00:19:30,634 --> 00:19:31,546
You take
the first one.
438
00:19:31,667 --> 00:19:33,213
We're not ready yet.
Thanks.
439
00:19:33,334 --> 00:19:36,012
Oh, no, hey.
No, wait !
440
00:19:36,133 --> 00:19:37,912
That's great, 'cause
441
00:19:38,033 --> 00:19:39,813
it's gonna be real easy
to get another one.
442
00:19:39,934 --> 00:19:42,146
I don't want to leave until
I know you're going to be ok.
443
00:19:42,267 --> 00:19:44,680
You know,
between you and Ashley,
444
00:19:44,801 --> 00:19:47,133
that's the second time
I've heard that this week.
445
00:19:48,701 --> 00:19:52,446
But you know what ? You don't
always get what you want.
446
00:19:52,567 --> 00:19:56,246
That's why I'm standing out
here in the rain with this box...
447
00:19:56,367 --> 00:20:00,380
with the sweatshirt that
Ashley wore every Sunday...
448
00:20:00,501 --> 00:20:03,213
pictures of us
on that camping trip...
449
00:20:03,334 --> 00:20:07,146
earrings that she left at my
place first night she stayed over
450
00:20:07,267 --> 00:20:09,146
that she probably doesn't
even know I still have.
451
00:20:09,267 --> 00:20:11,879
Call her, Mike. Tell
her you made a mistake.
452
00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:14,480
You shouldn't have let
her leave like that.
453
00:20:14,601 --> 00:20:16,467
That's the funny part.
454
00:20:18,567 --> 00:20:20,946
I didn't
just let her go.
455
00:20:21,067 --> 00:20:21,946
But you said that...
456
00:20:22,067 --> 00:20:23,467
yeah, I lied,
all right ?
457
00:20:25,400 --> 00:20:27,534
I begged her to stay.
458
00:20:29,534 --> 00:20:31,234
She left anyway.
459
00:20:32,934 --> 00:20:34,912
But apparently, I'm a...
460
00:20:35,033 --> 00:20:37,946
I'm a real special person...
461
00:20:38,067 --> 00:20:39,501
and I got a good heart.
462
00:20:41,234 --> 00:20:43,946
And, uh,
she won't forget me.
463
00:20:44,067 --> 00:20:47,033
So I got that going
for me, which is nice.
464
00:20:52,501 --> 00:20:54,501
Give it
some time, Mike.
465
00:20:56,067 --> 00:20:59,346
Maybe it'll all
work itself out.
466
00:20:59,467 --> 00:21:02,567
No. She left because she doesn't
love me as much as I love her.
467
00:21:04,167 --> 00:21:05,879
There. You happy ?
I shared.
468
00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:07,979
Is that
what you wanted ?
469
00:21:08,100 --> 00:21:10,480
Mike, I'm so sorry.
470
00:21:10,601 --> 00:21:13,847
It's killing me,
Nikki.
471
00:21:13,968 --> 00:21:15,901
I'm just dying inside.
472
00:21:18,033 --> 00:21:20,446
I don't know
what I'm going to do.
473
00:21:20,567 --> 00:21:21,501
Come here.
474
00:21:23,934 --> 00:21:26,634
It's gonna be ok.
It's gonna be ok.
475
00:21:35,801 --> 00:21:37,000
I just miss her.
476
00:21:41,133 --> 00:21:42,868
Call me if you
need anything, ok ?
477
00:21:45,067 --> 00:21:46,801
Bye.
Bye, guys.
478
00:21:48,133 --> 00:21:50,012
This reminds me of
when I was a bachelor...
479
00:21:50,133 --> 00:21:53,012
messy apartment, fridge
full of beer, late-night TV.
480
00:21:53,133 --> 00:21:56,413
Why the hell
did I ever get married ?
481
00:21:56,534 --> 00:22:00,100
Gentlemen,
feast your eyes on this.
482
00:22:01,634 --> 00:22:04,446
Why ? It's just an Amish
girl churning butter.
483
00:22:04,567 --> 00:22:06,968
Ah... thou must
be patient.
484
00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:13,901
And there goes
the bonnet.
485
00:22:15,067 --> 00:22:17,634
Sit, Ubu, sit. Good dog.
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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