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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:09,501 --> 00:00:14,012 Oh, great. Must be 3:30, 5:30, 7:30, or 9:30 again. 2 00:00:14,133 --> 00:00:16,546 Honey, it's not like I want this. 3 00:00:16,667 --> 00:00:20,946 I... I need it. I... I need my sportscenter. 4 00:00:21,067 --> 00:00:22,313 Hey, turn on MTV. 5 00:00:22,434 --> 00:00:24,200 Got it. 6 00:00:26,167 --> 00:00:27,546 Just look at Eddie Vedder ? 7 00:00:27,667 --> 00:00:30,279 He's only a guy, and then he starts singing. 8 00:00:30,400 --> 00:00:31,513 I know what you mean, hon. 9 00:00:31,634 --> 00:00:33,346 I feel the same about Wayne Gretzky. 10 00:00:33,467 --> 00:00:36,033 Mike, I don't think that's possible. 11 00:00:38,767 --> 00:00:40,012 Aah ! Aah ! What are you doing ? 12 00:00:40,133 --> 00:00:42,713 Look at my hands, honey. Turn it back on. 13 00:00:42,834 --> 00:00:44,713 Honey, this is crazy. 14 00:00:44,834 --> 00:00:46,480 We get one night a week to spend real time together. 15 00:00:46,601 --> 00:00:48,534 We shouldn't spend it watching TV. 16 00:00:50,033 --> 00:00:52,400 Yeah. Yeah. 17 00:01:20,767 --> 00:01:23,313 Ok, next. Minority affairs. Carter. 18 00:01:23,434 --> 00:01:26,012 The Mayor's having dinner at the Asian alliance fund-raiser. 19 00:01:26,133 --> 00:01:29,113 Play up his record in small business loans, and bring a fork. 20 00:01:29,234 --> 00:01:32,113 He's not too good with the, uh... 21 00:01:32,234 --> 00:01:34,879 Mike, I think we all remember the sushi incident. 22 00:01:35,000 --> 00:01:38,413 Never thought you could break a window with a piece of raw fish. 23 00:01:38,534 --> 00:01:40,413 Well, you live, and you learn. 24 00:01:40,534 --> 00:01:42,946 Ok, the next piece of news. Very exciting. 25 00:01:43,067 --> 00:01:44,446 According to this report, 26 00:01:44,567 --> 00:01:46,979 the crime rate in the city of New York... 27 00:01:47,100 --> 00:01:48,580 that's here... is down 30%. 28 00:01:48,701 --> 00:01:50,046 Paul, spread the news. 29 00:01:50,167 --> 00:01:54,033 Have no fear. Captain good news is on the case. 30 00:01:57,167 --> 00:01:59,946 You know, he's just getting stranger. 31 00:02:00,067 --> 00:02:02,346 Ok, next up, the Sharon project. 32 00:02:02,467 --> 00:02:03,979 Oh, no ! Oh, no ! 33 00:02:04,100 --> 00:02:06,680 You're right. Just because we were elected to serve 34 00:02:06,801 --> 00:02:08,012 doesn't mean we have to worry 35 00:02:08,133 --> 00:02:11,079 about a retirement center going bankrupt. 36 00:02:11,200 --> 00:02:13,513 Finally, you're coming around. 37 00:02:13,634 --> 00:02:17,079 We've been trying to drum up support for buying the Sharon project for weeks. 38 00:02:17,200 --> 00:02:18,246 It's time to throw it away. 39 00:02:18,367 --> 00:02:19,580 I don't throw things away. 40 00:02:19,701 --> 00:02:21,780 That's not who I am. That's not my style. 41 00:02:21,901 --> 00:02:23,680 It's like with underwear. 42 00:02:23,801 --> 00:02:27,346 It doesn't matter how tattered or torn a pair get. 43 00:02:27,467 --> 00:02:29,680 As long as that sucker has a waistband in it, 44 00:02:29,801 --> 00:02:33,713 it stays in the rotation. 45 00:02:33,834 --> 00:02:35,979 It's time... 10:00. Donaldson's never late. 46 00:02:36,100 --> 00:02:37,434 Ok, let's go. 47 00:02:39,501 --> 00:02:42,446 Why are we rolling out the red carpet for a real-estate developer ? 48 00:02:42,567 --> 00:02:44,413 He is the real-estate developer. 49 00:02:44,534 --> 00:02:46,046 The man is my hero. 50 00:02:46,167 --> 00:02:48,534 You read his book Dan I am ? It's brilliant. 51 00:02:50,300 --> 00:02:52,747 Except for the title, which he clearly ripped off. 52 00:02:52,868 --> 00:02:54,346 From who ? 53 00:02:54,467 --> 00:02:59,000 Think about it in your chair. Think about it anywhere. 54 00:03:02,567 --> 00:03:03,580 How do I look ? 55 00:03:03,701 --> 00:03:04,868 Way too excited. 56 00:03:06,601 --> 00:03:10,413 Oh ! Here he comes. I think you should let me do the talking. 57 00:03:10,534 --> 00:03:11,446 Oh, you do, do you ? 58 00:03:11,567 --> 00:03:12,747 Don't get me wrong. 59 00:03:12,868 --> 00:03:14,179 Your "look at me, I'm so charming" thing 60 00:03:14,300 --> 00:03:17,313 works on most, but Donaldson's ruthless. 61 00:03:17,434 --> 00:03:18,713 He's serious. He's my people, Mike. 62 00:03:18,834 --> 00:03:20,667 Flaherty, you and me, let's go. 63 00:03:27,367 --> 00:03:30,747 Mr. Donaldson, I'm, uh, I'm pleased to make your acquaintance. 64 00:03:30,868 --> 00:03:35,380 Mr. Donaldson, I'm pleased to make your acquaintance. 65 00:03:35,501 --> 00:03:37,912 No, actually, I think Mike and I first met 66 00:03:38,033 --> 00:03:40,346 at a $10,000-a-plate charity dinner. 67 00:03:40,467 --> 00:03:42,179 I would have bought dinner, but I'd just 68 00:03:42,300 --> 00:03:45,012 come from a $5,000-a-plate charity lunch 69 00:03:45,133 --> 00:03:47,513 and I was a little tapped out. 70 00:03:47,634 --> 00:03:49,346 Dan, I'm sorry to keep you waiting. 71 00:03:49,467 --> 00:03:50,646 No problem, your honor. 72 00:03:50,767 --> 00:03:53,480 Nikki, escort Mr. Donaldson to my office, please ? 73 00:03:53,601 --> 00:03:55,413 I'll catch up to you in a moment. 74 00:03:55,534 --> 00:03:59,012 Mike, I just got off the phone with speaker Rosen, he tells me 75 00:03:59,133 --> 00:04:01,113 you won't get off his case about this Sharon project. 76 00:04:01,234 --> 00:04:02,613 Well, first off, sir... 77 00:04:02,734 --> 00:04:05,713 I'm sympathetic, Mike, but come on. You've read the budget. 78 00:04:05,834 --> 00:04:08,012 You know, all my friends told me that I should, 79 00:04:08,133 --> 00:04:11,046 but I can never get past the second chapter. 80 00:04:11,167 --> 00:04:13,979 I know it's tough, but there are bigger battles to be won. 81 00:04:14,100 --> 00:04:17,279 Mr. Mayor, I convinced your yoga instructor to see you at 5:00. 82 00:04:17,400 --> 00:04:18,946 Yes ! 83 00:04:19,067 --> 00:04:21,033 Ok, Mike. 84 00:04:23,067 --> 00:04:24,446 The press gods are restless. 85 00:04:24,567 --> 00:04:26,179 They demand a sacrifice. 86 00:04:26,300 --> 00:04:28,480 All right, if Paul's not here in one minute, 87 00:04:28,601 --> 00:04:31,079 James, you're going on in his place. 88 00:04:31,200 --> 00:04:34,513 Please, no, Mike. No, no. I can't. I'm sorry. 89 00:04:34,634 --> 00:04:37,879 That's ok, James... Nikki, brief him. 90 00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:40,179 No, no, no. 91 00:04:40,300 --> 00:04:41,680 I can't get any air. 92 00:04:41,801 --> 00:04:44,246 I know, honey. Now, just try to pay attention. 93 00:04:44,367 --> 00:04:46,413 Ok, home robbery is down 17%. 94 00:04:46,534 --> 00:04:47,979 Car theft is down 28%. 95 00:04:48,100 --> 00:04:50,033 I feel like I'm being strangled. 96 00:04:52,133 --> 00:04:54,167 Funny. That's down 12%. 97 00:04:56,267 --> 00:04:58,279 Hey, look who's here. It's captain good news. 98 00:04:58,400 --> 00:05:00,480 I just went out to get my morning muffin. 99 00:05:00,601 --> 00:05:02,146 Crime statistics, Paul. 100 00:05:02,267 --> 00:05:04,279 Big news, banner day, safer streets. 101 00:05:04,400 --> 00:05:05,813 I just got mugged. 102 00:05:05,934 --> 00:05:07,079 Oh, my god. 103 00:05:07,200 --> 00:05:08,413 He took everything. 104 00:05:08,534 --> 00:05:10,546 He even took my crime statistics. 105 00:05:10,667 --> 00:05:14,113 Somewhere in this city, there's a guy walking around 106 00:05:14,234 --> 00:05:15,912 with my wallet, my cell phone, 107 00:05:16,033 --> 00:05:19,346 and a big pie chart showing how much crime has dropped. 108 00:05:19,467 --> 00:05:22,646 I'm sure they're all getting a big laugh out of that 109 00:05:22,767 --> 00:05:24,567 back at the hideout. 110 00:05:26,767 --> 00:05:29,879 Did you get a look at him ? White guy ? Black guy ? 111 00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:33,113 Big guy. Massive. So big, he stood in front of me, 112 00:05:33,234 --> 00:05:35,246 I thought it was an eclipse. 113 00:05:35,367 --> 00:05:37,747 Did he have a gun ? No. 114 00:05:37,868 --> 00:05:39,346 A knife ? No. 115 00:05:39,467 --> 00:05:41,113 A comb ? 116 00:05:41,234 --> 00:05:42,680 He was just intimidating. 117 00:05:42,801 --> 00:05:44,012 What did he say ? 118 00:05:44,133 --> 00:05:45,968 Well, he didn't speak English. 119 00:05:50,434 --> 00:05:52,912 Hey, Paul, you think there's an outside chance 120 00:05:53,033 --> 00:05:56,680 this guy was just asking for directions ? 121 00:05:56,801 --> 00:05:58,780 I know you guys are just making jokes 122 00:05:58,901 --> 00:06:01,246 to try and cheer me up, but it's all right. 123 00:06:01,367 --> 00:06:03,613 Don't you worry, because I'm not going to be a victim. 124 00:06:03,734 --> 00:06:06,879 Give me those statistics. I'm going to blow this baby out of the water. 125 00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:09,346 Attaboy, Pauly. 126 00:06:09,467 --> 00:06:11,480 Were you just trying to cheer him up ? 127 00:06:11,601 --> 00:06:12,601 Eh ! 128 00:06:17,601 --> 00:06:19,480 I finished my coffee. 129 00:06:19,601 --> 00:06:20,946 Good. 130 00:06:21,067 --> 00:06:23,912 I finished my brownie, too. 131 00:06:24,033 --> 00:06:25,413 You want another one ? 132 00:06:25,534 --> 00:06:27,133 Yeah. You got $9.00 ? 133 00:06:29,234 --> 00:06:32,380 I love this place. I get some of my best writing done here. 134 00:06:32,501 --> 00:06:33,634 All right. 135 00:06:39,634 --> 00:06:40,901 There you go. 136 00:06:42,734 --> 00:06:44,580 "I'm bored." 137 00:06:44,701 --> 00:06:46,480 It's very creative. 138 00:06:46,601 --> 00:06:48,313 I'm feeling pretty good about it. 139 00:06:48,434 --> 00:06:49,580 What do you want ? 140 00:06:49,701 --> 00:06:52,012 I want those 2 waitresses to huddle up 141 00:06:52,133 --> 00:06:54,979 and tackle those 2 waitresses. 142 00:06:55,100 --> 00:06:57,012 Honey, if you want to go watch sports, 143 00:06:57,133 --> 00:06:58,546 you can, you know ? Just go home. 144 00:06:58,667 --> 00:07:00,834 It's a tough call. 145 00:07:03,667 --> 00:07:04,780 Hey, Mr. Donaldson. 146 00:07:04,901 --> 00:07:05,780 Mike. 147 00:07:05,901 --> 00:07:06,946 What are you doing here ? 148 00:07:07,067 --> 00:07:10,079 Me ? I own this place. 149 00:07:10,200 --> 00:07:12,480 Well, actually, I own the whole chain. 150 00:07:12,601 --> 00:07:14,613 Actually, I own a small pharmaceutical firm 151 00:07:14,734 --> 00:07:17,346 which recently purchased parts of Colombia. 152 00:07:17,467 --> 00:07:20,879 The big deal here is that I get free coffee. 153 00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:23,346 Samantha, could I have a double mochaccino ? 154 00:07:23,467 --> 00:07:25,580 Throw some nutmeg on top of there. Thank you. 155 00:07:25,701 --> 00:07:28,300 Samantha, could I get a pair of chinos ? 156 00:07:31,033 --> 00:07:33,613 Flaherty, I think you just ordered pants. 157 00:07:33,734 --> 00:07:36,780 Uh, decaf. No pleats. 158 00:07:36,901 --> 00:07:39,446 This isn't really my type of place, either, you know ? 159 00:07:39,567 --> 00:07:42,279 Sometimes I think I just buy things because I'm bored. 160 00:07:42,400 --> 00:07:43,279 No kidding. 161 00:07:43,400 --> 00:07:44,446 Yeah. 162 00:07:44,567 --> 00:07:47,179 Uh, sir, can you read this ? 163 00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:48,580 "I'm bored." 164 00:07:48,701 --> 00:07:50,801 I think I can help you out. 165 00:07:52,367 --> 00:07:53,780 So let's hear it. 166 00:07:53,901 --> 00:07:55,380 I'm giddy with excitement. 167 00:07:55,501 --> 00:07:56,546 All right, sir. 168 00:07:56,667 --> 00:07:59,713 This is an incredible business opportunity. 169 00:07:59,834 --> 00:08:01,546 Are you familiar with the Sharon retirement center ? 170 00:08:01,667 --> 00:08:02,780 Yeah. 171 00:08:02,901 --> 00:08:04,346 Ok, so what I'm proposing is this: 172 00:08:04,467 --> 00:08:06,434 You buy that facility... 173 00:08:08,601 --> 00:08:10,434 and basically, that's all I'm proposing. 174 00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:14,313 That's a great pitch. 175 00:08:14,434 --> 00:08:16,613 I can have it typed up for you. 176 00:08:16,734 --> 00:08:18,446 How much ? 177 00:08:18,567 --> 00:08:19,613 4 million. 178 00:08:19,734 --> 00:08:21,046 That's all ? 179 00:08:21,167 --> 00:08:24,079 Because, you know, I probably got that on me. 180 00:08:24,200 --> 00:08:25,979 Oh, don't tease, sir. 181 00:08:26,100 --> 00:08:29,012 It's not a bad idea, Flaherty. 182 00:08:29,133 --> 00:08:31,480 Fix the place up, we hike the fees. 183 00:08:31,601 --> 00:08:32,946 Well, no, see, it would have to be 184 00:08:33,067 --> 00:08:34,879 the same people living there at the same cost. 185 00:08:35,000 --> 00:08:36,113 Oh, great. 186 00:08:36,234 --> 00:08:37,912 What you're telling me then is, 187 00:08:38,033 --> 00:08:39,912 I basically take a huge chunk of money 188 00:08:40,033 --> 00:08:41,780 and flush it down the toilet. 189 00:08:41,901 --> 00:08:44,847 I thought you would appreciate me coming to you first. 190 00:08:44,968 --> 00:08:46,646 I like you, Flaherty. 191 00:08:46,767 --> 00:08:48,680 You, sir, are plucky. 192 00:08:48,801 --> 00:08:51,546 What I want to know is, 193 00:08:51,667 --> 00:08:55,480 what's the Mayor's office getting out of all this ? 194 00:08:55,601 --> 00:08:57,567 All right, all right. 195 00:09:00,634 --> 00:09:02,467 We're trying to help people. 196 00:09:05,901 --> 00:09:07,879 All right, I'll take it. 197 00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:11,446 You're kidding. Really ? 198 00:09:11,567 --> 00:09:13,346 Just like that ? 199 00:09:13,467 --> 00:09:15,313 Hey, thank you. Thank you, sir. 200 00:09:15,434 --> 00:09:16,413 Dan. 201 00:09:16,534 --> 00:09:19,012 Dan. Sir Dan. Like a knight. 202 00:09:19,133 --> 00:09:21,446 I have no idea what I'm saying. 203 00:09:21,567 --> 00:09:23,279 You did pretty good for yourself, kid. 204 00:09:23,400 --> 00:09:26,813 Pretty good ? I spun you like a top. 205 00:09:26,934 --> 00:09:28,179 I figured it out. 206 00:09:28,300 --> 00:09:29,946 The way to you is through your heartstrings. 207 00:09:30,067 --> 00:09:33,079 You people think that rich guys have it so easy. 208 00:09:33,200 --> 00:09:37,346 You go to the market. At worst, you come home with extra cookies. 209 00:09:37,467 --> 00:09:40,413 Me, I just impulse-bought a retirement home. 210 00:09:40,534 --> 00:09:43,434 Try explaining that to the wife. 211 00:09:51,267 --> 00:09:52,380 Thank you very much. 212 00:09:52,501 --> 00:09:54,879 And there he is... 213 00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:57,546 the young deputy Mayor out of Fordham. 214 00:09:57,667 --> 00:10:00,847 A victory on the Sharon senior citizen project. 215 00:10:00,968 --> 00:10:02,380 Tell us about it, Mike. 216 00:10:02,501 --> 00:10:05,012 I just want to thank the good lord 217 00:10:05,133 --> 00:10:07,546 for giving me the ability to play this game. 218 00:10:07,667 --> 00:10:09,079 Well, there you have it. 219 00:10:09,200 --> 00:10:12,580 So Donaldson just bought the Sharon center 220 00:10:12,701 --> 00:10:14,012 out of the goodness of his heart ? 221 00:10:14,133 --> 00:10:15,213 Pretty much. 222 00:10:15,334 --> 00:10:19,868 Well... talk about your fallen idols. 223 00:10:21,334 --> 00:10:24,146 Pauly, listen, good news on those crime stats. 224 00:10:24,267 --> 00:10:25,413 Front page of every paper. 225 00:10:25,534 --> 00:10:26,646 I was robbed, Mike. 226 00:10:26,767 --> 00:10:29,546 I know, Paul. Quit milking it. 227 00:10:29,667 --> 00:10:31,879 No. I mean I was robbed again. 228 00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:33,847 This time, he got my apartment. 229 00:10:33,968 --> 00:10:35,446 For those of you keeping score at home, 230 00:10:35,567 --> 00:10:39,113 that's criminals 2, Lassiter 0. 231 00:10:39,234 --> 00:10:41,146 Wow. Robbed twice in 2 days. 232 00:10:41,267 --> 00:10:44,213 Wouldn't that be weird if it were the same guy ? 233 00:10:44,334 --> 00:10:47,480 We live in a city of 8 million people. Same guy. Right. 234 00:10:47,601 --> 00:10:49,912 When you were mugged, they got your wallet, right ? 235 00:10:50,033 --> 00:10:51,713 What was in there... cash, credit cards, 236 00:10:51,834 --> 00:10:53,879 maybe something with your address on it ? 237 00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:56,446 My driver's license. Terrible picture, though. 238 00:10:56,567 --> 00:10:57,747 It was horrible. 239 00:10:57,868 --> 00:10:59,879 What about your keys, Paul ? 240 00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:01,946 Well, yeah, but I used my spare set. 241 00:11:02,067 --> 00:11:03,946 My keys. Oh, my god, he got my keys. 242 00:11:04,067 --> 00:11:05,946 He knows where I live. He got my keys. 243 00:11:06,067 --> 00:11:08,067 My bike ! My bike ! My bike ! 244 00:11:11,267 --> 00:11:14,546 I thought we were going to watch the game together. 245 00:11:14,667 --> 00:11:16,534 That's what we're doing, honey. 246 00:11:18,934 --> 00:11:20,213 You're in the kitchen. 247 00:11:20,334 --> 00:11:22,912 Anytime anything exciting happens, 248 00:11:23,033 --> 00:11:24,780 they play it again in slow-motion. 249 00:11:24,901 --> 00:11:26,646 When that happens, you tell me, 250 00:11:26,767 --> 00:11:29,413 and I'll run right over to that couch and watch it. 251 00:11:29,534 --> 00:11:31,446 No. You can't watch a game like that. 252 00:11:31,567 --> 00:11:33,546 You got to sit down. You got to focus. 253 00:11:33,667 --> 00:11:35,879 Ok. 254 00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:38,946 Hey, did I tell you that my sister, she's changing... 255 00:11:39,067 --> 00:11:40,079 shh, shh. 256 00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:42,200 There's no... there's no talking. 257 00:11:44,667 --> 00:11:46,279 But it's a commercial. 258 00:11:46,400 --> 00:11:49,113 Yeah, but I could just tell 259 00:11:49,234 --> 00:11:51,834 you had more than 30 seconds worth of conversation. 260 00:11:52,968 --> 00:11:54,246 So who are we voting for... 261 00:11:54,367 --> 00:11:57,513 the blue guys or the red guys ? 262 00:11:57,634 --> 00:11:58,946 Well, it's a hockey game, 263 00:11:59,067 --> 00:12:03,033 so it's probably not going to be decided by a vote. 264 00:12:07,601 --> 00:12:09,979 We... we are, however, rooting 265 00:12:10,100 --> 00:12:11,480 for the blue guys. 266 00:12:11,601 --> 00:12:12,813 Gotcha. 267 00:12:12,934 --> 00:12:14,246 Ahem. 268 00:12:14,367 --> 00:12:16,346 Hey, you want another beer ? 269 00:12:16,467 --> 00:12:17,780 No, I'm ok. 270 00:12:17,901 --> 00:12:19,213 Wait a minute. 271 00:12:19,334 --> 00:12:22,313 How come you can get up, walk around, and talk and I can't ? 272 00:12:22,434 --> 00:12:24,747 Because I'm getting a beer. 273 00:12:24,868 --> 00:12:26,847 Ah, the rules don't apply when you're getting a beer. 274 00:12:26,968 --> 00:12:28,380 Or food. 275 00:12:28,501 --> 00:12:30,680 So no walking or talking 276 00:12:30,801 --> 00:12:32,680 unless food and/or beer are involved. 277 00:12:32,801 --> 00:12:34,413 I got it. 278 00:12:34,534 --> 00:12:35,646 Oh, boy. 279 00:12:35,767 --> 00:12:37,680 This is great. I got my beer. 280 00:12:37,801 --> 00:12:39,713 I got my game. I got my girl. 281 00:12:39,834 --> 00:12:41,646 Couldn't be happier. 282 00:12:41,767 --> 00:12:43,534 Good. I'm so glad. 283 00:12:52,567 --> 00:12:54,179 What are you doing ? 284 00:12:54,300 --> 00:12:56,413 Well, I'm sitting here next to you 285 00:12:56,534 --> 00:12:58,246 watching the game and not talking. 286 00:12:58,367 --> 00:12:59,701 Besides that. 287 00:13:01,200 --> 00:13:02,513 Paying bills. 288 00:13:02,634 --> 00:13:04,680 All right, see, ok, this is why 289 00:13:04,801 --> 00:13:07,747 I can't watch a game with you. 290 00:13:07,868 --> 00:13:09,113 Because I'm paying bills ? 291 00:13:09,234 --> 00:13:11,780 You don't even care what's happening in the game. 292 00:13:11,901 --> 00:13:14,246 It makes no difference to you who wins or loses. 293 00:13:14,367 --> 00:13:16,480 You have no personal investment in the outcome. 294 00:13:16,601 --> 00:13:19,413 You know, Mike, I think the red guys just scored. 295 00:13:19,534 --> 00:13:20,834 No ! 296 00:13:26,501 --> 00:13:30,546 You can't tell me you don't have your own office 297 00:13:30,667 --> 00:13:32,446 because I've seen pictures of it. 298 00:13:32,567 --> 00:13:34,480 It's much nicer than mine, it's got a better view, 299 00:13:34,601 --> 00:13:36,513 and the golf course is magnificent. 300 00:13:36,634 --> 00:13:38,046 This is nice, too, Mike. 301 00:13:38,167 --> 00:13:41,847 What do you call this, anyway... deputy Mayor chic ? 302 00:13:41,968 --> 00:13:42,979 What is this, a social call ? 303 00:13:43,100 --> 00:13:45,079 Oh, no, no, much more than that. 304 00:13:45,200 --> 00:13:47,179 Now that I own the Sharon center, 305 00:13:47,300 --> 00:13:48,546 it's time for a celebration. 306 00:13:48,667 --> 00:13:50,380 To the Sharon center. 307 00:13:50,501 --> 00:13:51,513 To new friends. 308 00:13:51,634 --> 00:13:52,813 To generosity. 309 00:13:52,934 --> 00:13:54,213 To the library annex. 310 00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:56,033 To the empire state building. 311 00:13:57,601 --> 00:13:59,646 I'm not following you. 312 00:13:59,767 --> 00:14:01,713 The new public library annex, Mike... 313 00:14:01,834 --> 00:14:04,380 I'd really like the construction contract on that. 314 00:14:04,501 --> 00:14:06,813 Well, I can't wait to get your bid. 315 00:14:06,934 --> 00:14:08,912 Oh. Ha ha ! Oh, that's the thing. 316 00:14:09,033 --> 00:14:11,380 You see, I was kind of hoping that you'd wait 317 00:14:11,501 --> 00:14:12,879 till all the other bids came in 318 00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:14,646 and you'd let me know which one was lowest, 319 00:14:14,767 --> 00:14:17,979 and that way I could slide right in underneath. 320 00:14:18,100 --> 00:14:19,413 I'm... I'm sorry. 321 00:14:19,534 --> 00:14:22,246 I don't... I don't do, uh... 322 00:14:22,367 --> 00:14:24,380 I can do "safe." 323 00:14:24,501 --> 00:14:26,847 I can do "touchdown." 324 00:14:26,968 --> 00:14:29,546 I can even do that guy in the box. 325 00:14:29,667 --> 00:14:31,380 Yeah, but if I get this contract, 326 00:14:31,501 --> 00:14:34,813 I'll have an in for future city work, and I really want that. 327 00:14:34,934 --> 00:14:36,513 Dan, you know, I'm not comfortable 328 00:14:36,634 --> 00:14:38,380 making those kinds of deals. 329 00:14:38,501 --> 00:14:40,747 Uh, even for a new friend ? 330 00:14:40,868 --> 00:14:43,480 Uh, I'm sorry. My hands are, uh... 331 00:14:43,601 --> 00:14:45,113 uh... 332 00:14:45,234 --> 00:14:47,813 look, you got to do what you're comfortable with. 333 00:14:47,934 --> 00:14:51,046 After all, you know, comfort's what it's all about. 334 00:14:51,167 --> 00:14:54,946 For example, I don't really know how comfortable I am 335 00:14:55,067 --> 00:14:56,780 owning an old-age home. 336 00:14:56,901 --> 00:14:58,979 I may be a little more comfortable... 337 00:14:59,100 --> 00:15:00,580 owning a... I don't know... 338 00:15:00,701 --> 00:15:01,912 minimall... 339 00:15:02,033 --> 00:15:03,979 a vacant lot, perhaps. 340 00:15:04,100 --> 00:15:06,747 So that's what this has all been about. 341 00:15:06,868 --> 00:15:08,246 Oh, no, no, no, Mike. 342 00:15:08,367 --> 00:15:10,213 This has been a romance. 343 00:15:10,334 --> 00:15:12,246 You're the son I've never had. 344 00:15:12,367 --> 00:15:16,979 Just imagine my surprise to learn that you were the deputy Mayor. 345 00:15:17,100 --> 00:15:19,046 All right, get the hell out of my office 346 00:15:19,167 --> 00:15:22,979 and take your cheap... you own a vineyard ? 347 00:15:23,100 --> 00:15:25,546 Mike, if I don't get this contract from you, 348 00:15:25,667 --> 00:15:28,313 I'm going to go right down the line until somebody else bites, 349 00:15:28,434 --> 00:15:30,979 and in the meantime, I own this retirement home. 350 00:15:31,100 --> 00:15:33,979 Now, have you ever heard the sound of a wrecking ball ? 351 00:15:34,100 --> 00:15:35,480 Boom ! 352 00:15:35,601 --> 00:15:37,100 Gives me goose bumps. 353 00:15:38,868 --> 00:15:41,146 You're a son of a bitch, you know that ? 354 00:15:41,267 --> 00:15:44,046 Guess you didn't play me like a top after all, did you ? 355 00:15:44,167 --> 00:15:45,367 Not many people do. 356 00:15:47,067 --> 00:15:49,747 I can't believe I let that guy beat me. 357 00:15:49,868 --> 00:15:51,079 You know what, Mike ? 358 00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:53,246 Maybe we can find some dirt on this guy. 359 00:15:53,367 --> 00:15:54,413 Oh, he loves hot dogs. 360 00:15:54,534 --> 00:15:56,979 I always see him buying them outside. 361 00:15:57,100 --> 00:15:59,847 Well, we've got him, then, don't we ? 362 00:15:59,968 --> 00:16:02,934 Well, it's a starting point, all right ? 363 00:16:06,167 --> 00:16:08,979 Don't you people realize what you're up against ? 364 00:16:09,100 --> 00:16:10,912 Finding dirt won't do any good. 365 00:16:11,033 --> 00:16:12,813 His dirt just makes him stronger. 366 00:16:12,934 --> 00:16:16,012 Sorry, but it's survival of the fittest out there. 367 00:16:16,133 --> 00:16:19,133 If we were stranded alone on a desert island... 368 00:16:20,467 --> 00:16:21,968 you would eat me. 369 00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:27,834 I like to think so. 370 00:16:28,901 --> 00:16:30,179 Buck up, Mike. 371 00:16:30,300 --> 00:16:32,246 We're the dream team, remember, huh ? 372 00:16:32,367 --> 00:16:33,580 We're unbeatable. 373 00:16:33,701 --> 00:16:35,813 Did you really just tell me to buck up ? 374 00:16:35,934 --> 00:16:37,380 Sure did. 375 00:16:37,501 --> 00:16:41,146 Because if you'd added the words "little camper," 376 00:16:41,267 --> 00:16:42,734 you'd be fired. 377 00:16:44,567 --> 00:16:47,346 Look. Look at me. I've been robbed twice in 2 days. 378 00:16:47,467 --> 00:16:50,279 I'm a one-man crime wave, 379 00:16:50,400 --> 00:16:53,246 but nothing is going to stop me from feeling like a winner. 380 00:16:53,367 --> 00:16:54,879 Paychecks, everyone ! 381 00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:57,747 Oh, goody. You see, now, I'm going to take that money, 382 00:16:57,868 --> 00:17:00,780 and use it to buy maybe some furniture, a new coat... 383 00:17:00,901 --> 00:17:03,346 mama needs a manicure, pedicure, wax, and facial. 384 00:17:03,467 --> 00:17:06,847 Ok, mama needs to keep that stuff to herself. 385 00:17:06,968 --> 00:17:08,346 Thanks. 386 00:17:08,467 --> 00:17:10,346 Woo hoo ! I can buy... 387 00:17:10,467 --> 00:17:12,534 nothing good. 388 00:17:14,067 --> 00:17:15,446 Ah. 389 00:17:15,567 --> 00:17:18,012 Excuse me. Excuse me. You skipped me. 390 00:17:18,133 --> 00:17:20,313 Uh, no, you already got yours. 391 00:17:20,434 --> 00:17:22,346 I did not. I was standing over there. 392 00:17:22,467 --> 00:17:23,480 No, no, earlier. 393 00:17:23,601 --> 00:17:24,780 Earlier when ? 394 00:17:24,901 --> 00:17:26,413 Well, like, about an hour ago. 395 00:17:26,534 --> 00:17:29,979 You were wearing a suit and a hat with the ear flaps. 396 00:17:30,100 --> 00:17:31,113 You don't remember that ? 397 00:17:31,234 --> 00:17:32,780 Oh, yeah, that's right. I got the check, 398 00:17:32,901 --> 00:17:35,213 went out, cashed it, bought a new suit, had it altered, 399 00:17:35,334 --> 00:17:38,079 came back here... all within an hour. 400 00:17:38,200 --> 00:17:41,513 The guy that mugged you, robbed your apartment, 401 00:17:41,634 --> 00:17:43,213 also picked up your paycheck. 402 00:17:43,334 --> 00:17:46,680 Wow ! Ok, you see ? Hey, score one for the criminal, huh ? 403 00:17:46,801 --> 00:17:48,734 Ha ha ! Guy's killing me. 404 00:17:51,801 --> 00:17:53,213 I wanted to thank you. 405 00:17:53,334 --> 00:17:55,012 It's always nice when you get knocked down 406 00:17:55,133 --> 00:17:57,513 to have someone on your team stand on your neck. 407 00:17:57,634 --> 00:18:01,780 Mike, if it makes you feel any better, no one expected you to win. 408 00:18:01,901 --> 00:18:05,113 I'm thrilled, Stu. Why don't we go out and get a beer ? 409 00:18:05,234 --> 00:18:06,879 If you can't handle it, 410 00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:08,646 maybe you should take a couple of days off. 411 00:18:08,767 --> 00:18:09,979 I can take care of things. 412 00:18:10,100 --> 00:18:12,979 Boys, what's all the ruckus ? 413 00:18:13,100 --> 00:18:15,113 As a taxpayer, I like to think 414 00:18:15,234 --> 00:18:16,446 there are more productive ways 415 00:18:16,567 --> 00:18:18,246 for the Mayor's staff to spend their time. 416 00:18:18,367 --> 00:18:20,813 I say that every day, Mr. Donaldson. 417 00:18:20,934 --> 00:18:23,513 No one can talk and kiss ass at the same time like you. 418 00:18:23,634 --> 00:18:25,879 I bet you can do it drinking a glass of water. 419 00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:27,513 Ouch. 420 00:18:27,634 --> 00:18:29,646 That was harsh. 421 00:18:29,767 --> 00:18:31,467 Stuey, you've been dissed. 422 00:18:33,133 --> 00:18:35,580 It's time you and I took a little walk, 423 00:18:35,701 --> 00:18:37,012 had a nice little talk, 424 00:18:37,133 --> 00:18:38,613 get to know one another. 425 00:18:38,734 --> 00:18:41,113 I really don't like to be called Stuey. 426 00:18:41,234 --> 00:18:42,546 Stuey's fine. 427 00:18:42,667 --> 00:18:45,167 Stuey, do you like to read books ? 428 00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:49,580 You asked to see me ? 429 00:18:49,701 --> 00:18:51,267 Uh, yeah. Come in. 430 00:18:52,501 --> 00:18:55,167 Awfully dark in here, isn't it, Flaherty ? 431 00:18:57,000 --> 00:18:59,780 Ha ha ha ! I get it. 432 00:18:59,901 --> 00:19:01,646 You've read chapter 4 of my book: 433 00:19:01,767 --> 00:19:03,713 "How to take control of a meeting." 434 00:19:03,834 --> 00:19:05,279 I have no idea 435 00:19:05,400 --> 00:19:06,847 what you're talking about. 436 00:19:06,968 --> 00:19:08,213 Please. You're backlit. 437 00:19:08,334 --> 00:19:10,346 You've got the letter opener 438 00:19:10,467 --> 00:19:12,513 aimed directly at my heart. 439 00:19:12,634 --> 00:19:14,346 Your hands are in the power tepee. 440 00:19:14,467 --> 00:19:17,313 You've arranged everything in this room to make you appear to be 441 00:19:17,434 --> 00:19:18,912 the biggest and most dominant thing in it. 442 00:19:19,033 --> 00:19:20,968 Ha ha ! I did nothing of the sort. 443 00:19:31,968 --> 00:19:33,912 Comfy ? 444 00:19:34,033 --> 00:19:36,813 Yes, and thoroughly intimidated, 445 00:19:36,934 --> 00:19:40,213 but, you know, I've already won, so why am I here ? 446 00:19:40,334 --> 00:19:41,879 I wanted to give you a last chance. 447 00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:43,747 To do what, gloat ? 448 00:19:43,868 --> 00:19:44,946 To do the right thing. 449 00:19:45,067 --> 00:19:47,446 Are you still with the old people ? 450 00:19:47,567 --> 00:19:49,446 Mike, that ship has sailed. 451 00:19:49,567 --> 00:19:52,813 Those old people are out on a deck playing shuffleboard. 452 00:19:52,934 --> 00:19:54,813 All right, look... 453 00:19:54,934 --> 00:19:57,680 no, you look, ok ? I don't have time to play with you anymore. 454 00:19:57,801 --> 00:20:00,079 They're awarding that contract in half an hour. 455 00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:02,667 I think I'm going to be the lucky one. 456 00:20:05,834 --> 00:20:08,167 Hello, everybody. 457 00:20:09,501 --> 00:20:12,113 Ok, I get it. 458 00:20:12,234 --> 00:20:15,734 We're all playing "let's hate the billionaire." 459 00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:18,912 Afternoon, your honor. 460 00:20:19,033 --> 00:20:20,567 Stuart. 461 00:20:23,868 --> 00:20:25,079 What's going on here ? 462 00:20:25,200 --> 00:20:27,200 Aha ! 463 00:20:28,901 --> 00:20:30,313 What the hell is that ? 464 00:20:30,434 --> 00:20:32,979 It's a tape of our little talk. 465 00:20:33,100 --> 00:20:36,046 Dan, if I didn't know you were the kind of guy 466 00:20:36,167 --> 00:20:39,279 who'd rescue a retirement center out of the goodness of his heart, 467 00:20:39,400 --> 00:20:40,847 I might have to listen to this little tape... 468 00:20:40,968 --> 00:20:43,879 maybe along with some of our mutual friends... 469 00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:46,580 or the attorney general, huh ? 470 00:20:46,701 --> 00:20:49,033 Ha ha ! Yeah. Have a good day. 471 00:20:53,634 --> 00:20:56,046 I suppose this is where you say, "touche." 472 00:20:56,167 --> 00:20:57,946 Well, I don't speak french. 473 00:20:58,067 --> 00:21:00,100 I do speak a little Italian. 474 00:21:01,267 --> 00:21:03,279 Oh ! 475 00:21:03,400 --> 00:21:05,912 If any job opportunities open up, 476 00:21:06,033 --> 00:21:08,400 please keep me in mind, sir. 477 00:21:10,167 --> 00:21:11,513 You're quite an actor, Stu. 478 00:21:11,634 --> 00:21:12,946 I mean, you were very convincing 479 00:21:13,067 --> 00:21:17,680 as the angry, underling with delusions of grandeur. 480 00:21:17,801 --> 00:21:20,012 A bit of a stretch for you there. 481 00:21:20,133 --> 00:21:22,380 I did a little theater in high school... 482 00:21:22,501 --> 00:21:24,179 Caesar... 483 00:21:24,300 --> 00:21:26,213 guard number 4. 484 00:21:26,334 --> 00:21:28,580 So that was all acting ? 485 00:21:28,701 --> 00:21:30,000 I was in the moment. 486 00:21:32,601 --> 00:21:34,400 You're out of it now. 487 00:21:35,567 --> 00:21:37,067 Didn't hurt. 488 00:21:41,234 --> 00:21:45,580 Isn't this the same sportscenter you were watching a few hours ago ? 489 00:21:45,701 --> 00:21:46,979 Yeah. 490 00:21:47,100 --> 00:21:49,847 But emotionally I'm in a completely different place now. 491 00:21:49,968 --> 00:21:53,012 What are you listening to ? Rancid ? 492 00:21:53,133 --> 00:21:54,580 Smashing pumpkins ? 493 00:21:54,701 --> 00:21:56,200 Rancid pumpkins ? 494 00:21:57,267 --> 00:21:58,567 Yeah, that's it. 495 00:21:59,701 --> 00:22:01,146 You know, this is great. 496 00:22:01,267 --> 00:22:02,946 We're doing our own thing, 497 00:22:03,067 --> 00:22:04,012 but we're together. 498 00:22:04,133 --> 00:22:05,912 Yeah. It's called compromise. 499 00:22:06,033 --> 00:22:08,780 Only one thing would make it perfect, though. 500 00:22:08,901 --> 00:22:10,613 Please ? Ready ? 501 00:22:10,734 --> 00:22:12,300 1, 2, 3. 502 00:22:14,934 --> 00:22:17,567 Sit, Ubu, sit. Good dog. 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net 36585

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