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1
00:00:09,501 --> 00:00:14,012
Oh, great. Must be 3:30,
5:30, 7:30, or 9:30 again.
2
00:00:14,133 --> 00:00:16,546
Honey, it's not like
I want this.
3
00:00:16,667 --> 00:00:20,946
I... I need it.
I... I need my sportscenter.
4
00:00:21,067 --> 00:00:22,313
Hey, turn on MTV.
5
00:00:22,434 --> 00:00:24,200
Got it.
6
00:00:26,167 --> 00:00:27,546
Just look at Eddie Vedder ?
7
00:00:27,667 --> 00:00:30,279
He's only a guy,
and then he starts singing.
8
00:00:30,400 --> 00:00:31,513
I know what
you mean, hon.
9
00:00:31,634 --> 00:00:33,346
I feel the same
about Wayne Gretzky.
10
00:00:33,467 --> 00:00:36,033
Mike, I don't think
that's possible.
11
00:00:38,767 --> 00:00:40,012
Aah ! Aah !
What are you doing ?
12
00:00:40,133 --> 00:00:42,713
Look at my hands, honey.
Turn it back on.
13
00:00:42,834 --> 00:00:44,713
Honey, this is crazy.
14
00:00:44,834 --> 00:00:46,480
We get one night a week to
spend real time together.
15
00:00:46,601 --> 00:00:48,534
We shouldn't spend it
watching TV.
16
00:00:50,033 --> 00:00:52,400
Yeah. Yeah.
17
00:01:20,767 --> 00:01:23,313
Ok, next. Minority
affairs. Carter.
18
00:01:23,434 --> 00:01:26,012
The Mayor's having dinner at
the Asian alliance fund-raiser.
19
00:01:26,133 --> 00:01:29,113
Play up his record in small
business loans, and bring a fork.
20
00:01:29,234 --> 00:01:32,113
He's not too good
with the, uh...
21
00:01:32,234 --> 00:01:34,879
Mike, I think we all
remember the sushi incident.
22
00:01:35,000 --> 00:01:38,413
Never thought you could break a
window with a piece of raw fish.
23
00:01:38,534 --> 00:01:40,413
Well, you live,
and you learn.
24
00:01:40,534 --> 00:01:42,946
Ok, the next piece
of news. Very exciting.
25
00:01:43,067 --> 00:01:44,446
According
to this report,
26
00:01:44,567 --> 00:01:46,979
the crime rate in the
city of New York...
27
00:01:47,100 --> 00:01:48,580
that's here...
is down 30%.
28
00:01:48,701 --> 00:01:50,046
Paul,
spread the news.
29
00:01:50,167 --> 00:01:54,033
Have no fear. Captain good news
is on the case.
30
00:01:57,167 --> 00:01:59,946
You know, he's just
getting stranger.
31
00:02:00,067 --> 00:02:02,346
Ok, next up,
the Sharon project.
32
00:02:02,467 --> 00:02:03,979
Oh, no ! Oh, no !
33
00:02:04,100 --> 00:02:06,680
You're right. Just because
we were elected to serve
34
00:02:06,801 --> 00:02:08,012
doesn't mean
we have to worry
35
00:02:08,133 --> 00:02:11,079
about a retirement center
going bankrupt.
36
00:02:11,200 --> 00:02:13,513
Finally,
you're coming around.
37
00:02:13,634 --> 00:02:17,079
We've been trying to drum up support
for buying the Sharon project for weeks.
38
00:02:17,200 --> 00:02:18,246
It's time
to throw it away.
39
00:02:18,367 --> 00:02:19,580
I don't throw things away.
40
00:02:19,701 --> 00:02:21,780
That's not who I am.
That's not my style.
41
00:02:21,901 --> 00:02:23,680
It's like with underwear.
42
00:02:23,801 --> 00:02:27,346
It doesn't matter how
tattered or torn a pair get.
43
00:02:27,467 --> 00:02:29,680
As long as that sucker
has a waistband in it,
44
00:02:29,801 --> 00:02:33,713
it stays in the rotation.
45
00:02:33,834 --> 00:02:35,979
It's time... 10:00.
Donaldson's never late.
46
00:02:36,100 --> 00:02:37,434
Ok, let's go.
47
00:02:39,501 --> 00:02:42,446
Why are we rolling out the red
carpet for a real-estate developer ?
48
00:02:42,567 --> 00:02:44,413
He is the real-estate
developer.
49
00:02:44,534 --> 00:02:46,046
The man is my hero.
50
00:02:46,167 --> 00:02:48,534
You read his book Dan
I am ? It's brilliant.
51
00:02:50,300 --> 00:02:52,747
Except for the title,
which he clearly ripped off.
52
00:02:52,868 --> 00:02:54,346
From who ?
53
00:02:54,467 --> 00:02:59,000
Think about it in your chair.
Think about it anywhere.
54
00:03:02,567 --> 00:03:03,580
How do I look ?
55
00:03:03,701 --> 00:03:04,868
Way too excited.
56
00:03:06,601 --> 00:03:10,413
Oh ! Here he comes. I think you
should let me do the talking.
57
00:03:10,534 --> 00:03:11,446
Oh, you do, do you ?
58
00:03:11,567 --> 00:03:12,747
Don't get me wrong.
59
00:03:12,868 --> 00:03:14,179
Your "look at me,
I'm so charming" thing
60
00:03:14,300 --> 00:03:17,313
works on most, but Donaldson's ruthless.
61
00:03:17,434 --> 00:03:18,713
He's serious.
He's my people, Mike.
62
00:03:18,834 --> 00:03:20,667
Flaherty, you and me,
let's go.
63
00:03:27,367 --> 00:03:30,747
Mr. Donaldson, I'm, uh, I'm
pleased to make your acquaintance.
64
00:03:30,868 --> 00:03:35,380
Mr. Donaldson, I'm pleased
to make your acquaintance.
65
00:03:35,501 --> 00:03:37,912
No, actually, I think
Mike and I first met
66
00:03:38,033 --> 00:03:40,346
at a $10,000-a-plate
charity dinner.
67
00:03:40,467 --> 00:03:42,179
I would have bought dinner, but I'd just
68
00:03:42,300 --> 00:03:45,012
come from a $5,000-a-plate
charity lunch
69
00:03:45,133 --> 00:03:47,513
and I was a little tapped out.
70
00:03:47,634 --> 00:03:49,346
Dan, I'm sorry
to keep you waiting.
71
00:03:49,467 --> 00:03:50,646
No problem, your honor.
72
00:03:50,767 --> 00:03:53,480
Nikki, escort Mr. Donaldson
to my office, please ?
73
00:03:53,601 --> 00:03:55,413
I'll catch up to you
in a moment.
74
00:03:55,534 --> 00:03:59,012
Mike, I just got off the phone
with speaker Rosen, he tells me
75
00:03:59,133 --> 00:04:01,113
you won't get off his case
about this Sharon project.
76
00:04:01,234 --> 00:04:02,613
Well, first off, sir...
77
00:04:02,734 --> 00:04:05,713
I'm sympathetic, Mike, but
come on. You've read the budget.
78
00:04:05,834 --> 00:04:08,012
You know, all my friends
told me that I should,
79
00:04:08,133 --> 00:04:11,046
but I can never get past
the second chapter.
80
00:04:11,167 --> 00:04:13,979
I know it's tough, but there
are bigger battles to be won.
81
00:04:14,100 --> 00:04:17,279
Mr. Mayor, I convinced your yoga
instructor to see you at 5:00.
82
00:04:17,400 --> 00:04:18,946
Yes !
83
00:04:19,067 --> 00:04:21,033
Ok, Mike.
84
00:04:23,067 --> 00:04:24,446
The press gods
are restless.
85
00:04:24,567 --> 00:04:26,179
They demand
a sacrifice.
86
00:04:26,300 --> 00:04:28,480
All right, if Paul's
not here in one minute,
87
00:04:28,601 --> 00:04:31,079
James, you're going on
in his place.
88
00:04:31,200 --> 00:04:34,513
Please, no, Mike. No,
no. I can't. I'm sorry.
89
00:04:34,634 --> 00:04:37,879
That's ok, James...
Nikki, brief him.
90
00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:40,179
No, no, no.
91
00:04:40,300 --> 00:04:41,680
I can't get any air.
92
00:04:41,801 --> 00:04:44,246
I know, honey. Now, just
try to pay attention.
93
00:04:44,367 --> 00:04:46,413
Ok, home robbery
is down 17%.
94
00:04:46,534 --> 00:04:47,979
Car theft is
down 28%.
95
00:04:48,100 --> 00:04:50,033
I feel like
I'm being strangled.
96
00:04:52,133 --> 00:04:54,167
Funny.
That's down 12%.
97
00:04:56,267 --> 00:04:58,279
Hey, look who's here.
It's captain good news.
98
00:04:58,400 --> 00:05:00,480
I just went out
to get my morning muffin.
99
00:05:00,601 --> 00:05:02,146
Crime statistics, Paul.
100
00:05:02,267 --> 00:05:04,279
Big news, banner day, safer streets.
101
00:05:04,400 --> 00:05:05,813
I just got mugged.
102
00:05:05,934 --> 00:05:07,079
Oh, my god.
103
00:05:07,200 --> 00:05:08,413
He took everything.
104
00:05:08,534 --> 00:05:10,546
He even took
my crime statistics.
105
00:05:10,667 --> 00:05:14,113
Somewhere in this city,
there's a guy walking around
106
00:05:14,234 --> 00:05:15,912
with my wallet,
my cell phone,
107
00:05:16,033 --> 00:05:19,346
and a big pie chart showing
how much crime has dropped.
108
00:05:19,467 --> 00:05:22,646
I'm sure they're all getting
a big laugh out of that
109
00:05:22,767 --> 00:05:24,567
back at the hideout.
110
00:05:26,767 --> 00:05:29,879
Did you get a look at him ?
White guy ? Black guy ?
111
00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:33,113
Big guy. Massive. So big,
he stood in front of me,
112
00:05:33,234 --> 00:05:35,246
I thought
it was an eclipse.
113
00:05:35,367 --> 00:05:37,747
Did he have a gun ?
No.
114
00:05:37,868 --> 00:05:39,346
A knife ?
No.
115
00:05:39,467 --> 00:05:41,113
A comb ?
116
00:05:41,234 --> 00:05:42,680
He was just
intimidating.
117
00:05:42,801 --> 00:05:44,012
What did he say ?
118
00:05:44,133 --> 00:05:45,968
Well, he didn't
speak English.
119
00:05:50,434 --> 00:05:52,912
Hey, Paul, you think
there's an outside chance
120
00:05:53,033 --> 00:05:56,680
this guy was just asking for directions ?
121
00:05:56,801 --> 00:05:58,780
I know you guys are
just making jokes
122
00:05:58,901 --> 00:06:01,246
to try and cheer me up,
but it's all right.
123
00:06:01,367 --> 00:06:03,613
Don't you worry, because
I'm not going to be a victim.
124
00:06:03,734 --> 00:06:06,879
Give me those statistics. I'm going
to blow this baby out of the water.
125
00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:09,346
Attaboy, Pauly.
126
00:06:09,467 --> 00:06:11,480
Were you just trying
to cheer him up ?
127
00:06:11,601 --> 00:06:12,601
Eh !
128
00:06:17,601 --> 00:06:19,480
I finished
my coffee.
129
00:06:19,601 --> 00:06:20,946
Good.
130
00:06:21,067 --> 00:06:23,912
I finished
my brownie, too.
131
00:06:24,033 --> 00:06:25,413
You want another one ?
132
00:06:25,534 --> 00:06:27,133
Yeah. You got $9.00 ?
133
00:06:29,234 --> 00:06:32,380
I love this place. I get some
of my best writing done here.
134
00:06:32,501 --> 00:06:33,634
All right.
135
00:06:39,634 --> 00:06:40,901
There you go.
136
00:06:42,734 --> 00:06:44,580
"I'm bored."
137
00:06:44,701 --> 00:06:46,480
It's very creative.
138
00:06:46,601 --> 00:06:48,313
I'm feeling
pretty good about it.
139
00:06:48,434 --> 00:06:49,580
What do you want ?
140
00:06:49,701 --> 00:06:52,012
I want those 2 waitresses to huddle up
141
00:06:52,133 --> 00:06:54,979
and tackle
those 2 waitresses.
142
00:06:55,100 --> 00:06:57,012
Honey, if you want
to go watch sports,
143
00:06:57,133 --> 00:06:58,546
you can, you know ?
Just go home.
144
00:06:58,667 --> 00:07:00,834
It's a tough call.
145
00:07:03,667 --> 00:07:04,780
Hey, Mr. Donaldson.
146
00:07:04,901 --> 00:07:05,780
Mike.
147
00:07:05,901 --> 00:07:06,946
What are you doing here ?
148
00:07:07,067 --> 00:07:10,079
Me ? I own this place.
149
00:07:10,200 --> 00:07:12,480
Well, actually,
I own the whole chain.
150
00:07:12,601 --> 00:07:14,613
Actually, I own a small
pharmaceutical firm
151
00:07:14,734 --> 00:07:17,346
which recently purchased
parts of Colombia.
152
00:07:17,467 --> 00:07:20,879
The big deal here is
that I get free coffee.
153
00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:23,346
Samantha, could I have
a double mochaccino ?
154
00:07:23,467 --> 00:07:25,580
Throw some nutmeg
on top of there. Thank you.
155
00:07:25,701 --> 00:07:28,300
Samantha, could I get
a pair of chinos ?
156
00:07:31,033 --> 00:07:33,613
Flaherty, I think
you just ordered pants.
157
00:07:33,734 --> 00:07:36,780
Uh, decaf. No pleats.
158
00:07:36,901 --> 00:07:39,446
This isn't really my type
of place, either, you know ?
159
00:07:39,567 --> 00:07:42,279
Sometimes I think I just
buy things because I'm bored.
160
00:07:42,400 --> 00:07:43,279
No kidding.
161
00:07:43,400 --> 00:07:44,446
Yeah.
162
00:07:44,567 --> 00:07:47,179
Uh, sir,
can you read this ?
163
00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:48,580
"I'm bored."
164
00:07:48,701 --> 00:07:50,801
I think I can
help you out.
165
00:07:52,367 --> 00:07:53,780
So let's hear it.
166
00:07:53,901 --> 00:07:55,380
I'm giddy
with excitement.
167
00:07:55,501 --> 00:07:56,546
All right, sir.
168
00:07:56,667 --> 00:07:59,713
This is an incredible
business opportunity.
169
00:07:59,834 --> 00:08:01,546
Are you familiar with the
Sharon retirement center ?
170
00:08:01,667 --> 00:08:02,780
Yeah.
171
00:08:02,901 --> 00:08:04,346
Ok, so what I'm
proposing is this:
172
00:08:04,467 --> 00:08:06,434
You buy
that facility...
173
00:08:08,601 --> 00:08:10,434
and basically, that's all I'm proposing.
174
00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:14,313
That's a great pitch.
175
00:08:14,434 --> 00:08:16,613
I can have it
typed up for you.
176
00:08:16,734 --> 00:08:18,446
How much ?
177
00:08:18,567 --> 00:08:19,613
4 million.
178
00:08:19,734 --> 00:08:21,046
That's all ?
179
00:08:21,167 --> 00:08:24,079
Because, you know,
I probably got that on me.
180
00:08:24,200 --> 00:08:25,979
Oh, don't tease,
sir.
181
00:08:26,100 --> 00:08:29,012
It's not a bad idea,
Flaherty.
182
00:08:29,133 --> 00:08:31,480
Fix the place up,
we hike the fees.
183
00:08:31,601 --> 00:08:32,946
Well, no, see,
it would have to be
184
00:08:33,067 --> 00:08:34,879
the same people living
there at the same cost.
185
00:08:35,000 --> 00:08:36,113
Oh, great.
186
00:08:36,234 --> 00:08:37,912
What you're
telling me then is,
187
00:08:38,033 --> 00:08:39,912
I basically take
a huge chunk of money
188
00:08:40,033 --> 00:08:41,780
and flush it
down the toilet.
189
00:08:41,901 --> 00:08:44,847
I thought you would appreciate
me coming to you first.
190
00:08:44,968 --> 00:08:46,646
I like you, Flaherty.
191
00:08:46,767 --> 00:08:48,680
You, sir, are plucky.
192
00:08:48,801 --> 00:08:51,546
What I want to know is,
193
00:08:51,667 --> 00:08:55,480
what's the Mayor's office
getting out of all this ?
194
00:08:55,601 --> 00:08:57,567
All right,
all right.
195
00:09:00,634 --> 00:09:02,467
We're trying
to help people.
196
00:09:05,901 --> 00:09:07,879
All right,
I'll take it.
197
00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:11,446
You're kidding.
Really ?
198
00:09:11,567 --> 00:09:13,346
Just like that ?
199
00:09:13,467 --> 00:09:15,313
Hey, thank you.
Thank you, sir.
200
00:09:15,434 --> 00:09:16,413
Dan.
201
00:09:16,534 --> 00:09:19,012
Dan. Sir Dan.
Like a knight.
202
00:09:19,133 --> 00:09:21,446
I have no idea
what I'm saying.
203
00:09:21,567 --> 00:09:23,279
You did pretty good
for yourself, kid.
204
00:09:23,400 --> 00:09:26,813
Pretty good ? I spun you like a top.
205
00:09:26,934 --> 00:09:28,179
I figured it out.
206
00:09:28,300 --> 00:09:29,946
The way to you is
through your heartstrings.
207
00:09:30,067 --> 00:09:33,079
You people think that
rich guys have it so easy.
208
00:09:33,200 --> 00:09:37,346
You go to the market. At worst,
you come home with extra cookies.
209
00:09:37,467 --> 00:09:40,413
Me, I just impulse-bought
a retirement home.
210
00:09:40,534 --> 00:09:43,434
Try explaining that
to the wife.
211
00:09:51,267 --> 00:09:52,380
Thank you very much.
212
00:09:52,501 --> 00:09:54,879
And there he is...
213
00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:57,546
the young deputy Mayor
out of Fordham.
214
00:09:57,667 --> 00:10:00,847
A victory on the Sharon
senior citizen project.
215
00:10:00,968 --> 00:10:02,380
Tell us about it, Mike.
216
00:10:02,501 --> 00:10:05,012
I just want to thank
the good lord
217
00:10:05,133 --> 00:10:07,546
for giving me the
ability to play this game.
218
00:10:07,667 --> 00:10:09,079
Well, there you have it.
219
00:10:09,200 --> 00:10:12,580
So Donaldson just bought
the Sharon center
220
00:10:12,701 --> 00:10:14,012
out of the goodness
of his heart ?
221
00:10:14,133 --> 00:10:15,213
Pretty much.
222
00:10:15,334 --> 00:10:19,868
Well... talk about
your fallen idols.
223
00:10:21,334 --> 00:10:24,146
Pauly, listen, good news
on those crime stats.
224
00:10:24,267 --> 00:10:25,413
Front page
of every paper.
225
00:10:25,534 --> 00:10:26,646
I was robbed, Mike.
226
00:10:26,767 --> 00:10:29,546
I know, Paul.
Quit milking it.
227
00:10:29,667 --> 00:10:31,879
No. I mean
I was robbed again.
228
00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:33,847
This time,
he got my apartment.
229
00:10:33,968 --> 00:10:35,446
For those of you
keeping score at home,
230
00:10:35,567 --> 00:10:39,113
that's criminals 2,
Lassiter 0.
231
00:10:39,234 --> 00:10:41,146
Wow. Robbed twice
in 2 days.
232
00:10:41,267 --> 00:10:44,213
Wouldn't that be weird
if it were the same guy ?
233
00:10:44,334 --> 00:10:47,480
We live in a city of 8 million
people. Same guy. Right.
234
00:10:47,601 --> 00:10:49,912
When you were mugged,
they got your wallet, right ?
235
00:10:50,033 --> 00:10:51,713
What was in there...
cash, credit cards,
236
00:10:51,834 --> 00:10:53,879
maybe something with
your address on it ?
237
00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:56,446
My driver's license.
Terrible picture, though.
238
00:10:56,567 --> 00:10:57,747
It was horrible.
239
00:10:57,868 --> 00:10:59,879
What about
your keys, Paul ?
240
00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:01,946
Well, yeah, but I used
my spare set.
241
00:11:02,067 --> 00:11:03,946
My keys. Oh, my god,
he got my keys.
242
00:11:04,067 --> 00:11:05,946
He knows where I live.
He got my keys.
243
00:11:06,067 --> 00:11:08,067
My bike ! My bike !
My bike !
244
00:11:11,267 --> 00:11:14,546
I thought we were going
to watch the game together.
245
00:11:14,667 --> 00:11:16,534
That's what
we're doing, honey.
246
00:11:18,934 --> 00:11:20,213
You're
in the kitchen.
247
00:11:20,334 --> 00:11:22,912
Anytime anything
exciting happens,
248
00:11:23,033 --> 00:11:24,780
they play it again
in slow-motion.
249
00:11:24,901 --> 00:11:26,646
When that happens,
you tell me,
250
00:11:26,767 --> 00:11:29,413
and I'll run right over
to that couch and watch it.
251
00:11:29,534 --> 00:11:31,446
No. You can't watch
a game like that.
252
00:11:31,567 --> 00:11:33,546
You got to sit down.
You got to focus.
253
00:11:33,667 --> 00:11:35,879
Ok.
254
00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:38,946
Hey, did I tell you that
my sister, she's changing...
255
00:11:39,067 --> 00:11:40,079
shh, shh.
256
00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:42,200
There's no...
there's no talking.
257
00:11:44,667 --> 00:11:46,279
But it's a commercial.
258
00:11:46,400 --> 00:11:49,113
Yeah, but I could
just tell
259
00:11:49,234 --> 00:11:51,834
you had more than 30 seconds
worth of conversation.
260
00:11:52,968 --> 00:11:54,246
So who are we
voting for...
261
00:11:54,367 --> 00:11:57,513
the blue guys
or the red guys ?
262
00:11:57,634 --> 00:11:58,946
Well, it's
a hockey game,
263
00:11:59,067 --> 00:12:03,033
so it's probably not going
to be decided by a vote.
264
00:12:07,601 --> 00:12:09,979
We... we are,
however, rooting
265
00:12:10,100 --> 00:12:11,480
for the blue guys.
266
00:12:11,601 --> 00:12:12,813
Gotcha.
267
00:12:12,934 --> 00:12:14,246
Ahem.
268
00:12:14,367 --> 00:12:16,346
Hey, you want
another beer ?
269
00:12:16,467 --> 00:12:17,780
No, I'm ok.
270
00:12:17,901 --> 00:12:19,213
Wait a minute.
271
00:12:19,334 --> 00:12:22,313
How come you can get up, walk
around, and talk and I can't ?
272
00:12:22,434 --> 00:12:24,747
Because
I'm getting a beer.
273
00:12:24,868 --> 00:12:26,847
Ah, the rules don't apply
when you're getting a beer.
274
00:12:26,968 --> 00:12:28,380
Or food.
275
00:12:28,501 --> 00:12:30,680
So no walking
or talking
276
00:12:30,801 --> 00:12:32,680
unless food and/or beer are involved.
277
00:12:32,801 --> 00:12:34,413
I got it.
278
00:12:34,534 --> 00:12:35,646
Oh, boy.
279
00:12:35,767 --> 00:12:37,680
This is great.
I got my beer.
280
00:12:37,801 --> 00:12:39,713
I got my game.
I got my girl.
281
00:12:39,834 --> 00:12:41,646
Couldn't be
happier.
282
00:12:41,767 --> 00:12:43,534
Good. I'm so glad.
283
00:12:52,567 --> 00:12:54,179
What are you
doing ?
284
00:12:54,300 --> 00:12:56,413
Well, I'm sitting here
next to you
285
00:12:56,534 --> 00:12:58,246
watching the game
and not talking.
286
00:12:58,367 --> 00:12:59,701
Besides that.
287
00:13:01,200 --> 00:13:02,513
Paying bills.
288
00:13:02,634 --> 00:13:04,680
All right, see,
ok, this is why
289
00:13:04,801 --> 00:13:07,747
I can't watch
a game with you.
290
00:13:07,868 --> 00:13:09,113
Because I'm
paying bills ?
291
00:13:09,234 --> 00:13:11,780
You don't even care what's
happening in the game.
292
00:13:11,901 --> 00:13:14,246
It makes no difference
to you who wins or loses.
293
00:13:14,367 --> 00:13:16,480
You have no personal
investment in the outcome.
294
00:13:16,601 --> 00:13:19,413
You know, Mike, I think
the red guys just scored.
295
00:13:19,534 --> 00:13:20,834
No !
296
00:13:26,501 --> 00:13:30,546
You can't tell me you
don't have your own office
297
00:13:30,667 --> 00:13:32,446
because I've seen
pictures of it.
298
00:13:32,567 --> 00:13:34,480
It's much nicer than mine,
it's got a better view,
299
00:13:34,601 --> 00:13:36,513
and the golf course
is magnificent.
300
00:13:36,634 --> 00:13:38,046
This is nice,
too, Mike.
301
00:13:38,167 --> 00:13:41,847
What do you call this,
anyway... deputy Mayor chic ?
302
00:13:41,968 --> 00:13:42,979
What is this,
a social call ?
303
00:13:43,100 --> 00:13:45,079
Oh, no, no,
much more than that.
304
00:13:45,200 --> 00:13:47,179
Now that
I own the Sharon center,
305
00:13:47,300 --> 00:13:48,546
it's time
for a celebration.
306
00:13:48,667 --> 00:13:50,380
To the Sharon center.
307
00:13:50,501 --> 00:13:51,513
To new friends.
308
00:13:51,634 --> 00:13:52,813
To generosity.
309
00:13:52,934 --> 00:13:54,213
To the library
annex.
310
00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:56,033
To the empire state
building.
311
00:13:57,601 --> 00:13:59,646
I'm not following you.
312
00:13:59,767 --> 00:14:01,713
The new public library annex, Mike...
313
00:14:01,834 --> 00:14:04,380
I'd really like the construction
contract on that.
314
00:14:04,501 --> 00:14:06,813
Well, I can't wait
to get your bid.
315
00:14:06,934 --> 00:14:08,912
Oh. Ha ha !
Oh, that's the thing.
316
00:14:09,033 --> 00:14:11,380
You see, I was kind of
hoping that you'd wait
317
00:14:11,501 --> 00:14:12,879
till all the other
bids came in
318
00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:14,646
and you'd let me know
which one was lowest,
319
00:14:14,767 --> 00:14:17,979
and that way I could
slide right in underneath.
320
00:14:18,100 --> 00:14:19,413
I'm... I'm sorry.
321
00:14:19,534 --> 00:14:22,246
I don't...
I don't do, uh...
322
00:14:22,367 --> 00:14:24,380
I can do "safe."
323
00:14:24,501 --> 00:14:26,847
I can do
"touchdown."
324
00:14:26,968 --> 00:14:29,546
I can even do
that guy in the box.
325
00:14:29,667 --> 00:14:31,380
Yeah, but if I get
this contract,
326
00:14:31,501 --> 00:14:34,813
I'll have an in for future city
work, and I really want that.
327
00:14:34,934 --> 00:14:36,513
Dan, you know,
I'm not comfortable
328
00:14:36,634 --> 00:14:38,380
making those kinds
of deals.
329
00:14:38,501 --> 00:14:40,747
Uh, even
for a new friend ?
330
00:14:40,868 --> 00:14:43,480
Uh, I'm sorry.
My hands are, uh...
331
00:14:43,601 --> 00:14:45,113
uh...
332
00:14:45,234 --> 00:14:47,813
look, you got to do what
you're comfortable with.
333
00:14:47,934 --> 00:14:51,046
After all, you know,
comfort's what it's all about.
334
00:14:51,167 --> 00:14:54,946
For example, I don't really
know how comfortable I am
335
00:14:55,067 --> 00:14:56,780
owning
an old-age home.
336
00:14:56,901 --> 00:14:58,979
I may be a little more comfortable...
337
00:14:59,100 --> 00:15:00,580
owning a...
I don't know...
338
00:15:00,701 --> 00:15:01,912
minimall...
339
00:15:02,033 --> 00:15:03,979
a vacant lot,
perhaps.
340
00:15:04,100 --> 00:15:06,747
So that's what this has all been about.
341
00:15:06,868 --> 00:15:08,246
Oh, no, no, no, Mike.
342
00:15:08,367 --> 00:15:10,213
This has been
a romance.
343
00:15:10,334 --> 00:15:12,246
You're the son
I've never had.
344
00:15:12,367 --> 00:15:16,979
Just imagine my surprise to learn
that you were the deputy Mayor.
345
00:15:17,100 --> 00:15:19,046
All right, get the hell out of my office
346
00:15:19,167 --> 00:15:22,979
and take your cheap...
you own a vineyard ?
347
00:15:23,100 --> 00:15:25,546
Mike, if I don't get
this contract from you,
348
00:15:25,667 --> 00:15:28,313
I'm going to go right down the
line until somebody else bites,
349
00:15:28,434 --> 00:15:30,979
and in the meantime,
I own this retirement home.
350
00:15:31,100 --> 00:15:33,979
Now, have you ever heard
the sound of a wrecking ball ?
351
00:15:34,100 --> 00:15:35,480
Boom !
352
00:15:35,601 --> 00:15:37,100
Gives me
goose bumps.
353
00:15:38,868 --> 00:15:41,146
You're a son of a bitch, you know that ?
354
00:15:41,267 --> 00:15:44,046
Guess you didn't play me
like a top after all, did you ?
355
00:15:44,167 --> 00:15:45,367
Not many people do.
356
00:15:47,067 --> 00:15:49,747
I can't believe I let
that guy beat me.
357
00:15:49,868 --> 00:15:51,079
You know what,
Mike ?
358
00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:53,246
Maybe we can find some dirt on this guy.
359
00:15:53,367 --> 00:15:54,413
Oh, he loves hot dogs.
360
00:15:54,534 --> 00:15:56,979
I always see him
buying them outside.
361
00:15:57,100 --> 00:15:59,847
Well, we've got him,
then, don't we ?
362
00:15:59,968 --> 00:16:02,934
Well, it's a starting
point, all right ?
363
00:16:06,167 --> 00:16:08,979
Don't you people realize
what you're up against ?
364
00:16:09,100 --> 00:16:10,912
Finding dirt
won't do any good.
365
00:16:11,033 --> 00:16:12,813
His dirt
just makes him stronger.
366
00:16:12,934 --> 00:16:16,012
Sorry, but it's survival
of the fittest out there.
367
00:16:16,133 --> 00:16:19,133
If we were stranded alone
on a desert island...
368
00:16:20,467 --> 00:16:21,968
you would eat me.
369
00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:27,834
I like to think so.
370
00:16:28,901 --> 00:16:30,179
Buck up, Mike.
371
00:16:30,300 --> 00:16:32,246
We're the dream team, remember, huh ?
372
00:16:32,367 --> 00:16:33,580
We're unbeatable.
373
00:16:33,701 --> 00:16:35,813
Did you really just
tell me to buck up ?
374
00:16:35,934 --> 00:16:37,380
Sure did.
375
00:16:37,501 --> 00:16:41,146
Because if you'd added
the words "little camper,"
376
00:16:41,267 --> 00:16:42,734
you'd be fired.
377
00:16:44,567 --> 00:16:47,346
Look. Look at me. I've
been robbed twice in 2 days.
378
00:16:47,467 --> 00:16:50,279
I'm a one-man
crime wave,
379
00:16:50,400 --> 00:16:53,246
but nothing is going to stop
me from feeling like a winner.
380
00:16:53,367 --> 00:16:54,879
Paychecks,
everyone !
381
00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:57,747
Oh, goody. You see, now,
I'm going to take that money,
382
00:16:57,868 --> 00:17:00,780
and use it to buy maybe
some furniture, a new coat...
383
00:17:00,901 --> 00:17:03,346
mama needs a manicure,
pedicure, wax, and facial.
384
00:17:03,467 --> 00:17:06,847
Ok, mama needs to keep
that stuff to herself.
385
00:17:06,968 --> 00:17:08,346
Thanks.
386
00:17:08,467 --> 00:17:10,346
Woo hoo ! I can buy...
387
00:17:10,467 --> 00:17:12,534
nothing good.
388
00:17:14,067 --> 00:17:15,446
Ah.
389
00:17:15,567 --> 00:17:18,012
Excuse me. Excuse me.
You skipped me.
390
00:17:18,133 --> 00:17:20,313
Uh, no, you already got yours.
391
00:17:20,434 --> 00:17:22,346
I did not.
I was standing over there.
392
00:17:22,467 --> 00:17:23,480
No, no,
earlier.
393
00:17:23,601 --> 00:17:24,780
Earlier when ?
394
00:17:24,901 --> 00:17:26,413
Well, like,
about an hour ago.
395
00:17:26,534 --> 00:17:29,979
You were wearing a suit and
a hat with the ear flaps.
396
00:17:30,100 --> 00:17:31,113
You don't
remember that ?
397
00:17:31,234 --> 00:17:32,780
Oh, yeah, that's right.
I got the check,
398
00:17:32,901 --> 00:17:35,213
went out, cashed it, bought
a new suit, had it altered,
399
00:17:35,334 --> 00:17:38,079
came back here...
all within an hour.
400
00:17:38,200 --> 00:17:41,513
The guy that mugged you,
robbed your apartment,
401
00:17:41,634 --> 00:17:43,213
also picked up
your paycheck.
402
00:17:43,334 --> 00:17:46,680
Wow ! Ok, you see ? Hey, score
one for the criminal, huh ?
403
00:17:46,801 --> 00:17:48,734
Ha ha !
Guy's killing me.
404
00:17:51,801 --> 00:17:53,213
I wanted
to thank you.
405
00:17:53,334 --> 00:17:55,012
It's always nice when
you get knocked down
406
00:17:55,133 --> 00:17:57,513
to have someone on your
team stand on your neck.
407
00:17:57,634 --> 00:18:01,780
Mike, if it makes you feel any
better, no one expected you to win.
408
00:18:01,901 --> 00:18:05,113
I'm thrilled, Stu. Why don't
we go out and get a beer ?
409
00:18:05,234 --> 00:18:06,879
If you can't handle it,
410
00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:08,646
maybe you should take
a couple of days off.
411
00:18:08,767 --> 00:18:09,979
I can take care
of things.
412
00:18:10,100 --> 00:18:12,979
Boys,
what's all the ruckus ?
413
00:18:13,100 --> 00:18:15,113
As a taxpayer,
I like to think
414
00:18:15,234 --> 00:18:16,446
there are
more productive ways
415
00:18:16,567 --> 00:18:18,246
for the Mayor's staff
to spend their time.
416
00:18:18,367 --> 00:18:20,813
I say that every day,
Mr. Donaldson.
417
00:18:20,934 --> 00:18:23,513
No one can talk and kiss ass
at the same time like you.
418
00:18:23,634 --> 00:18:25,879
I bet you can do it
drinking a glass of water.
419
00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:27,513
Ouch.
420
00:18:27,634 --> 00:18:29,646
That was harsh.
421
00:18:29,767 --> 00:18:31,467
Stuey, you've
been dissed.
422
00:18:33,133 --> 00:18:35,580
It's time you and I
took a little walk,
423
00:18:35,701 --> 00:18:37,012
had a nice
little talk,
424
00:18:37,133 --> 00:18:38,613
get to know
one another.
425
00:18:38,734 --> 00:18:41,113
I really don't like
to be called Stuey.
426
00:18:41,234 --> 00:18:42,546
Stuey's fine.
427
00:18:42,667 --> 00:18:45,167
Stuey, do you like
to read books ?
428
00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:49,580
You asked to see me ?
429
00:18:49,701 --> 00:18:51,267
Uh, yeah. Come in.
430
00:18:52,501 --> 00:18:55,167
Awfully dark in here,
isn't it, Flaherty ?
431
00:18:57,000 --> 00:18:59,780
Ha ha ha !
I get it.
432
00:18:59,901 --> 00:19:01,646
You've read chapter 4
of my book:
433
00:19:01,767 --> 00:19:03,713
"How to take control
of a meeting."
434
00:19:03,834 --> 00:19:05,279
I have no idea
435
00:19:05,400 --> 00:19:06,847
what you're
talking about.
436
00:19:06,968 --> 00:19:08,213
Please.
You're backlit.
437
00:19:08,334 --> 00:19:10,346
You've got
the letter opener
438
00:19:10,467 --> 00:19:12,513
aimed directly
at my heart.
439
00:19:12,634 --> 00:19:14,346
Your hands are
in the power tepee.
440
00:19:14,467 --> 00:19:17,313
You've arranged everything in
this room to make you appear to be
441
00:19:17,434 --> 00:19:18,912
the biggest and most
dominant thing in it.
442
00:19:19,033 --> 00:19:20,968
Ha ha ! I did
nothing of the sort.
443
00:19:31,968 --> 00:19:33,912
Comfy ?
444
00:19:34,033 --> 00:19:36,813
Yes,
and thoroughly intimidated,
445
00:19:36,934 --> 00:19:40,213
but, you know, I've already
won, so why am I here ?
446
00:19:40,334 --> 00:19:41,879
I wanted to give you
a last chance.
447
00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:43,747
To do what, gloat ?
448
00:19:43,868 --> 00:19:44,946
To do
the right thing.
449
00:19:45,067 --> 00:19:47,446
Are you still
with the old people ?
450
00:19:47,567 --> 00:19:49,446
Mike, that ship
has sailed.
451
00:19:49,567 --> 00:19:52,813
Those old people are out on
a deck playing shuffleboard.
452
00:19:52,934 --> 00:19:54,813
All right, look...
453
00:19:54,934 --> 00:19:57,680
no, you look, ok ? I don't have
time to play with you anymore.
454
00:19:57,801 --> 00:20:00,079
They're awarding that
contract in half an hour.
455
00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:02,667
I think I'm going to
be the lucky one.
456
00:20:05,834 --> 00:20:08,167
Hello, everybody.
457
00:20:09,501 --> 00:20:12,113
Ok, I get it.
458
00:20:12,234 --> 00:20:15,734
We're all playing "let's
hate the billionaire."
459
00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:18,912
Afternoon,
your honor.
460
00:20:19,033 --> 00:20:20,567
Stuart.
461
00:20:23,868 --> 00:20:25,079
What's going on here ?
462
00:20:25,200 --> 00:20:27,200
Aha !
463
00:20:28,901 --> 00:20:30,313
What the hell
is that ?
464
00:20:30,434 --> 00:20:32,979
It's a tape
of our little talk.
465
00:20:33,100 --> 00:20:36,046
Dan, if I didn't know
you were the kind of guy
466
00:20:36,167 --> 00:20:39,279
who'd rescue a retirement center
out of the goodness of his heart,
467
00:20:39,400 --> 00:20:40,847
I might have to listen
to this little tape...
468
00:20:40,968 --> 00:20:43,879
maybe along with some
of our mutual friends...
469
00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:46,580
or the attorney
general, huh ?
470
00:20:46,701 --> 00:20:49,033
Ha ha ! Yeah.
Have a good day.
471
00:20:53,634 --> 00:20:56,046
I suppose this is
where you say, "touche."
472
00:20:56,167 --> 00:20:57,946
Well, I don't
speak french.
473
00:20:58,067 --> 00:21:00,100
I do speak
a little Italian.
474
00:21:01,267 --> 00:21:03,279
Oh !
475
00:21:03,400 --> 00:21:05,912
If any job opportunities
open up,
476
00:21:06,033 --> 00:21:08,400
please keep me
in mind, sir.
477
00:21:10,167 --> 00:21:11,513
You're quite
an actor, Stu.
478
00:21:11,634 --> 00:21:12,946
I mean, you were
very convincing
479
00:21:13,067 --> 00:21:17,680
as the angry, underling
with delusions of grandeur.
480
00:21:17,801 --> 00:21:20,012
A bit of a stretch
for you there.
481
00:21:20,133 --> 00:21:22,380
I did a little theater
in high school...
482
00:21:22,501 --> 00:21:24,179
Caesar...
483
00:21:24,300 --> 00:21:26,213
guard number 4.
484
00:21:26,334 --> 00:21:28,580
So that was
all acting ?
485
00:21:28,701 --> 00:21:30,000
I was in the moment.
486
00:21:32,601 --> 00:21:34,400
You're
out of it now.
487
00:21:35,567 --> 00:21:37,067
Didn't hurt.
488
00:21:41,234 --> 00:21:45,580
Isn't this the same sportscenter
you were watching a few hours ago ?
489
00:21:45,701 --> 00:21:46,979
Yeah.
490
00:21:47,100 --> 00:21:49,847
But emotionally I'm in a
completely different place now.
491
00:21:49,968 --> 00:21:53,012
What are you listening to ?
Rancid ?
492
00:21:53,133 --> 00:21:54,580
Smashing pumpkins ?
493
00:21:54,701 --> 00:21:56,200
Rancid pumpkins ?
494
00:21:57,267 --> 00:21:58,567
Yeah, that's it.
495
00:21:59,701 --> 00:22:01,146
You know,
this is great.
496
00:22:01,267 --> 00:22:02,946
We're doing
our own thing,
497
00:22:03,067 --> 00:22:04,012
but we're together.
498
00:22:04,133 --> 00:22:05,912
Yeah. It's called
compromise.
499
00:22:06,033 --> 00:22:08,780
Only one thing would
make it perfect, though.
500
00:22:08,901 --> 00:22:10,613
Please ? Ready ?
501
00:22:10,734 --> 00:22:12,300
1, 2, 3.
502
00:22:14,934 --> 00:22:17,567
Sit, Ubu, sit.
Good dog.
9999
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