Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,133 --> 00:00:05,213
James, great speech for
the scouts of America.
2
00:00:05,334 --> 00:00:08,979
Although for future reference,
let's keep the Mayor away from
3
00:00:09,100 --> 00:00:11,113
words like "webelo."
4
00:00:11,234 --> 00:00:12,780
I'll add that
to the list.
5
00:00:12,901 --> 00:00:15,946
We've got these 2 school
closings up in the Bronx.
6
00:00:16,067 --> 00:00:19,046
Whoever goes up there
is going to take a real beating.
7
00:00:19,167 --> 00:00:21,546
So, uh... Stuart,
why don't you handle that ?
8
00:00:21,667 --> 00:00:23,113
They're here !
9
00:00:23,234 --> 00:00:24,713
They're here, they're here.
10
00:00:24,834 --> 00:00:27,979
Ok, people, listen up.
According to Manhattan magazine,
11
00:00:28,100 --> 00:00:31,979
as of 9:23 on this glorious
October morning,
12
00:00:32,100 --> 00:00:34,780
I, Michael t. Flaherty,
am now officially...
13
00:00:34,901 --> 00:00:37,513
the sexiest man in Manhattan.
14
00:00:37,634 --> 00:00:39,912
Whoo !
15
00:00:40,033 --> 00:00:42,113
Thank you.
16
00:00:42,234 --> 00:00:46,046
JFK Jr. took himself
out of the running.
17
00:00:46,167 --> 00:00:49,046
I don't want this to disrupt
things here at the office.
18
00:00:49,167 --> 00:00:53,079
After all, I'm no sexier today
than I was yesterday, so...
19
00:00:53,200 --> 00:00:54,513
what about Alec Baldwin ?
20
00:00:54,634 --> 00:00:56,179
Not technically
a New Yorker.
21
00:00:56,300 --> 00:00:58,513
The Mayor's being
honored on friday
22
00:00:58,634 --> 00:01:00,646
by the association
of Christians and Jews.
23
00:01:00,767 --> 00:01:02,513
You're all expected
to attend.
24
00:01:02,634 --> 00:01:04,513
Keep in mind
these are religious people.
25
00:01:04,634 --> 00:01:06,513
Choose your dates
with care.
26
00:01:06,634 --> 00:01:08,079
There are
10 commandments.
27
00:01:08,200 --> 00:01:11,946
I'd like your dates to check out
on at least 7 of them.
28
00:01:12,067 --> 00:01:13,646
That's kind of tough,
Mike.
29
00:01:13,767 --> 00:01:15,847
Assuming they haven't
killed anybody,
30
00:01:15,968 --> 00:01:18,613
they still have to go
6 for 9.
31
00:01:18,734 --> 00:01:21,968
What about
Billy Baldwin ?
32
00:01:23,968 --> 00:01:25,979
Los Angeles.
33
00:01:26,100 --> 00:01:27,513
Do we have to
bring a date ?
34
00:01:27,634 --> 00:01:29,380
No, but anybody
who doesn't bring a date
35
00:01:29,501 --> 00:01:32,146
will be placed on Helen duty
for the evening.
36
00:01:32,267 --> 00:01:33,912
Oh !
37
00:01:34,033 --> 00:01:35,613
There's nothing I'd rather do
38
00:01:35,734 --> 00:01:37,847
than spend an evening
with the Mayor's wife,
39
00:01:37,968 --> 00:01:39,346
but unfortunately for me,
40
00:01:39,467 --> 00:01:41,346
being the sexiest man
in New York,
41
00:01:41,467 --> 00:01:43,046
I already got a date.
42
00:01:43,167 --> 00:01:46,346
You're telling me there isn't
a single Baldwin brother
43
00:01:46,467 --> 00:01:48,400
in any
of the boroughs ?
44
00:02:03,334 --> 00:02:05,313
Ashley, maybe
I need to clarify.
45
00:02:05,434 --> 00:02:08,413
I have no comment.
I have nothing to say.
46
00:02:08,534 --> 00:02:10,813
I have no idea what
you're talking about.
47
00:02:10,934 --> 00:02:13,313
Fine. Just one final
question, though.
48
00:02:13,434 --> 00:02:14,747
One.
49
00:02:14,868 --> 00:02:17,012
Well, it's divided
into 3 parts.
50
00:02:17,133 --> 00:02:20,146
Paul, I have something important
to discuss with miss Schaeffer.
51
00:02:20,267 --> 00:02:22,079
Could you allow us
a moment of privacy ?
52
00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:23,079
Gladly.
53
00:02:23,200 --> 00:02:24,300
Thank you.
54
00:02:32,033 --> 00:02:33,934
I take it
the magazine came out ?
55
00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:39,767
Next on the runway...
Mr. Michael Flaherty.
56
00:02:41,467 --> 00:02:43,879
And...
57
00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:45,847
he's wearing...
58
00:02:45,968 --> 00:02:47,701
his marky marks.
59
00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:52,446
Named for a man who, while
quite sexy in his own right,
60
00:02:52,567 --> 00:02:54,847
must now toil
in Flaherty's shadow.
61
00:02:54,968 --> 00:02:58,346
Do you mind ?
People are eating here.
62
00:02:58,467 --> 00:03:01,912
What ? Am I too sexy
for you ?
63
00:03:02,033 --> 00:03:04,879
Yes. Yes. I am so woozy
with desire,
64
00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:07,012
I can barely finish
eating this carrot.
65
00:03:07,133 --> 00:03:09,813
Then I will just...
wait for you here.
66
00:03:09,934 --> 00:03:11,434
Thank you.
67
00:03:15,868 --> 00:03:17,100
Ashley...
68
00:03:19,434 --> 00:03:21,934
you want a piece
of this ?
69
00:03:30,701 --> 00:03:34,513
Would I be having sex with you
or with the sexiest man in New York ?
70
00:03:34,634 --> 00:03:37,613
Well, you can't have one
without the other.
71
00:03:37,734 --> 00:03:39,012
Then I'll pass.
72
00:03:39,133 --> 00:03:40,946
What do you mean
you pass ?
73
00:03:41,067 --> 00:03:43,613
You can't pass on an
opportunity like this.
74
00:03:43,734 --> 00:03:44,912
I've slept with you
before.
75
00:03:45,033 --> 00:03:46,646
I'm familiar
with the procedure.
76
00:03:46,767 --> 00:03:50,413
I wouldn't pass on a chance to sleep
with the sexiest woman...
77
00:03:50,534 --> 00:03:52,246
don't finish that
sentence, mister !
78
00:03:52,367 --> 00:03:53,934
Because that's you !
79
00:03:56,701 --> 00:03:58,079
- Mike ?
- Yes, Paul.
80
00:03:58,200 --> 00:04:00,279
I know Ashley Schaeffer's
your girlfriend,
81
00:04:00,400 --> 00:04:02,346
and let me just say,
I think she's wonderful.
82
00:04:02,467 --> 00:04:04,012
Beautiful, witty,
a real catch.
83
00:04:04,133 --> 00:04:05,246
Spill it, Paul.
84
00:04:05,367 --> 00:04:07,446
She's evil, Mike.
85
00:04:07,567 --> 00:04:10,813
I'm telling you,
she's all over me. It's eerie.
86
00:04:10,934 --> 00:04:13,680
It's like she can
read my mind.
87
00:04:13,801 --> 00:04:16,580
She's just on a hot streak, ok ?
It's going to pass.
88
00:04:16,701 --> 00:04:18,246
I'm telling you,
she's out to get me.
89
00:04:18,367 --> 00:04:19,580
What is she
on to now ?
90
00:04:19,701 --> 00:04:21,879
Some internal audit
of a high school in queens.
91
00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:23,146
What's that about anyway ?
92
00:04:23,267 --> 00:04:27,813
We got a custodian
at a high school in Queens...
93
00:04:27,934 --> 00:04:30,313
happens to own
a fishing boat.
94
00:04:30,434 --> 00:04:33,879
A municipal worker
who owns a boat. So ?
95
00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:36,313
So, there's just
some concern that
96
00:04:36,434 --> 00:04:39,313
the boat might be
misrepresented by the press.
97
00:04:39,434 --> 00:04:40,813
Misrepresented how ?
98
00:04:40,934 --> 00:04:42,934
As a yacht.
99
00:04:45,133 --> 00:04:46,646
Is it a yacht ?
100
00:04:46,767 --> 00:04:48,613
No, it's, uh...
101
00:04:48,734 --> 00:04:50,480
it's not a...
it's the guy's fishing boat.
102
00:04:50,601 --> 00:04:53,079
You know,
it's a dinghy, really.
103
00:04:53,200 --> 00:04:55,446
All right, fine.
Sure, ok.
104
00:04:55,567 --> 00:04:58,713
All right.
I'll see you.
105
00:04:58,834 --> 00:05:01,646
Does this boat
have a jacuzzi ?
106
00:05:01,767 --> 00:05:03,146
Why do you ask ?
107
00:05:03,267 --> 00:05:04,646
Oh, no, Mike !
108
00:05:04,767 --> 00:05:06,246
Aw, Mike, no !
109
00:05:06,367 --> 00:05:08,446
We're talking scandal !
Talking kickback !
110
00:05:08,567 --> 00:05:10,946
We're talking news footage
of crumbling inner-city schools
111
00:05:11,067 --> 00:05:14,346
cross-cut with photos
of a janitor sitting in his jacuzzi
112
00:05:14,467 --> 00:05:16,946
aboard a 60-foot yacht.
113
00:05:17,067 --> 00:05:19,879
It's got a big mother
of a satellite dish.
114
00:05:20,000 --> 00:05:21,501
Oh !
115
00:05:22,934 --> 00:05:25,380
Hey, hey. You guys
read my article yet ?
116
00:05:25,501 --> 00:05:28,780
Ah, yes. It was fascinating.
I'm having it framed.
117
00:05:28,901 --> 00:05:31,279
Mike, Wordsworth is
my favorite poet, too.
118
00:05:31,400 --> 00:05:32,847
Is that who I put ?
119
00:05:32,968 --> 00:05:35,346
They faxed me this
little questionnaire.
120
00:05:35,467 --> 00:05:39,146
Since when do you
kayak on the weekends ?
121
00:05:39,267 --> 00:05:41,813
I kayak in my spare time.
122
00:05:41,934 --> 00:05:44,813
In my spare time...
123
00:05:44,934 --> 00:05:47,100
of which I have none.
124
00:05:48,267 --> 00:05:50,813
However do you find time
for all your hobbies:
125
00:05:50,934 --> 00:05:53,346
Playing squash,
cooking pasta,
126
00:05:53,467 --> 00:05:56,513
and... contemplative
introspection ?
127
00:05:56,634 --> 00:05:59,580
Thinking, Mike ?
That's your hobby ?
128
00:05:59,701 --> 00:06:01,413
You guys are
missing the point.
129
00:06:01,534 --> 00:06:04,079
The point is, I'm the sexiest
man in New York,
130
00:06:04,200 --> 00:06:08,279
and I bet statistically,
I'm sexier than all of you put together.
131
00:06:08,400 --> 00:06:12,400
Yeah, maybe, but that's only because
Stuart's dragging us down.
132
00:06:13,901 --> 00:06:15,279
Well, be that
as it may,
133
00:06:15,400 --> 00:06:17,279
I got a date
for tomorrow night.
134
00:06:17,400 --> 00:06:19,267
And if tradition holds,
none of you do.
135
00:06:21,100 --> 00:06:23,313
I'll tell you what. I'll pass
the savings on to you.
136
00:06:23,434 --> 00:06:25,346
I suggest dividing
Mrs. Winston up
137
00:06:25,467 --> 00:06:28,279
into easy-to-swallow
30-minute shifts.
138
00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:30,246
This isn't fair.
You have a live-in date.
139
00:06:30,367 --> 00:06:32,480
You'll never have to go
on Helen duty.
140
00:06:32,601 --> 00:06:34,813
I'll tell you
what I'll do.
141
00:06:34,934 --> 00:06:37,879
If all of you get dates for
friday night,
142
00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:40,100
I'll take care
of Mrs. Winston.
143
00:06:41,968 --> 00:06:45,079
Of course, the banquet would
probably have been canceled,
144
00:06:45,200 --> 00:06:47,634
what with hell having
frozen over and all.
145
00:06:49,100 --> 00:06:51,847
James, would you like to go to dinner
with me friday night ?
146
00:06:51,968 --> 00:06:53,213
Sure.
147
00:06:53,334 --> 00:06:54,613
No, no, hey,
wait a minute.
148
00:06:54,734 --> 00:06:56,713
Karen,
would you go to dinner with me ?
149
00:06:56,834 --> 00:06:58,513
- I'd love to !
- Oh, great.
150
00:06:58,634 --> 00:07:01,380
You can't. No.
Hey, that's not fair.
151
00:07:01,501 --> 00:07:04,000
Well, Stuart, carter...
152
00:07:10,501 --> 00:07:12,868
guess you guys will be
sharing Helen duty.
153
00:07:19,767 --> 00:07:22,000
Pick you up at 7:00 ?
154
00:07:24,868 --> 00:07:26,879
I take it there is
some impropriety
155
00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:28,879
going on down
at that school.
156
00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:31,079
Depends on what you mean
by impropriety, sir.
157
00:07:31,200 --> 00:07:32,912
Larceny, fraud,
embezzlement.
158
00:07:33,033 --> 00:07:34,413
Well, then, yes.
159
00:07:34,534 --> 00:07:35,912
So have you briefed Paul ?
160
00:07:36,033 --> 00:07:38,912
Yeah. I told him we want
to keep it quiet
161
00:07:39,033 --> 00:07:40,979
and do our own
internal investigation.
162
00:07:41,100 --> 00:07:44,480
There's no telling how high up
the... ladder this thing goes,
163
00:07:44,601 --> 00:07:47,413
so we wouldn't want
to make the mistake of...
164
00:07:47,534 --> 00:07:49,879
can I help you
at all, sir ?
165
00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:51,413
You know,
they're right.
166
00:07:51,534 --> 00:07:53,279
You are
a very sexy man.
167
00:07:53,400 --> 00:07:54,946
Striking.
168
00:07:55,067 --> 00:07:57,446
All right, sir, I'm going to be
honest with you.
169
00:07:57,567 --> 00:07:59,713
I'm already taken.
170
00:07:59,834 --> 00:08:03,413
You know, uh, you better get used to
people looking at you
171
00:08:03,534 --> 00:08:05,946
because from now on,
everything you do is a story.
172
00:08:06,067 --> 00:08:08,680
I mean, the restaurants
you eat at,
173
00:08:08,801 --> 00:08:10,713
the movies that you see,
the way you look.
174
00:08:10,834 --> 00:08:13,246
I'm sure it won't be
that much of a burden, sir.
175
00:08:13,367 --> 00:08:16,646
Once you're in the public spotlight,
you can't get out.
176
00:08:16,767 --> 00:08:18,780
You walk down the street,
177
00:08:18,901 --> 00:08:21,646
you start to feel
people looking at you.
178
00:08:21,767 --> 00:08:27,079
Everywhere you turn,
nothing but eyes staring...
179
00:08:27,200 --> 00:08:33,234
judging... gazing into the very
recesses of your soul.
180
00:08:34,334 --> 00:08:36,646
No, no.
Wait, wait. Stop.
181
00:08:36,767 --> 00:08:40,279
What ?
What's the matter ?
182
00:08:40,400 --> 00:08:42,279
I- I can't do this.
183
00:08:42,400 --> 00:08:43,912
What is it ?
184
00:08:44,033 --> 00:08:47,847
Uh, I don't know.
I just... I feel weird...
185
00:08:47,968 --> 00:08:54,213
like, uh... like people
are watching me.
186
00:08:54,334 --> 00:08:56,046
Well, why don't you
close your eyes
187
00:08:56,167 --> 00:08:58,946
and just let me
help you get over it ?
188
00:08:59,067 --> 00:09:00,946
No. Honey, you
don't understand.
189
00:09:01,067 --> 00:09:04,313
This is like, uh... it's
like a major malfunction...
190
00:09:04,434 --> 00:09:07,946
kind of
a hydraulics problem.
191
00:09:08,067 --> 00:09:10,313
What do you mean ?
192
00:09:10,434 --> 00:09:14,680
Ok, uh, you know when
your foot falls asleep ?
193
00:09:14,801 --> 00:09:18,346
Yeah. I just shake it
real hard and stomp on it.
194
00:09:18,467 --> 00:09:21,079
Not a good idea.
195
00:09:21,200 --> 00:09:23,279
Oh.
196
00:09:23,400 --> 00:09:25,300
Oh...
197
00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:34,713
hey there, sexy. You're looking
mighty fine today.
198
00:09:34,834 --> 00:09:36,713
Right back at you,
Roberta.
199
00:09:36,834 --> 00:09:38,146
You're number one.
200
00:09:38,267 --> 00:09:39,713
You know it, kid.
201
00:09:39,834 --> 00:09:41,901
I'm living a lie.
202
00:09:44,167 --> 00:09:45,780
Honey, really,
it's going to be fine.
203
00:09:45,901 --> 00:09:47,847
No. I'm a big,
fat phony.
204
00:09:47,968 --> 00:09:49,646
Hey, sexiest man in New York,
up top !
205
00:09:49,767 --> 00:09:51,346
I can't go on
with this.
206
00:09:51,467 --> 00:09:53,346
This has
got to stop.
207
00:09:53,467 --> 00:09:55,413
Hey, Mike,
nice tie.
208
00:09:55,534 --> 00:09:57,747
For god's sake, will you
people leave him alone ?
209
00:09:57,868 --> 00:10:00,133
What do you want
from him ?
210
00:10:03,033 --> 00:10:05,968
Thanks, honey.
That's much better.
211
00:10:08,968 --> 00:10:10,780
Everything all right ?
212
00:10:10,901 --> 00:10:13,179
Yeah. Fine.
213
00:10:13,300 --> 00:10:15,934
All right,
so whip it out.
214
00:10:17,667 --> 00:10:19,079
What ?
215
00:10:19,200 --> 00:10:21,246
The football pool.
Giants over Dallas. I won.
216
00:10:21,367 --> 00:10:24,380
Oh, god,
the football pool.
217
00:10:24,501 --> 00:10:25,813
Oh, thank god.
218
00:10:25,934 --> 00:10:28,380
Ok.
219
00:10:28,501 --> 00:10:29,979
Here you go.
220
00:10:30,100 --> 00:10:31,413
That's a 20, Mike.
221
00:10:31,534 --> 00:10:33,413
Yeah. Well,
you keep the rest
222
00:10:33,534 --> 00:10:35,847
because I'm just
going to go lie down.
223
00:10:35,968 --> 00:10:39,413
...which are just a few
of the many reasons
224
00:10:39,534 --> 00:10:42,012
why the Mayor has
issued this proclamation
225
00:10:42,133 --> 00:10:44,946
making today
pedestrian safety day.
226
00:10:45,067 --> 00:10:46,580
Yeah. Yes, Ashley ?
227
00:10:46,701 --> 00:10:48,346
I wanted to follow up
on that audit
228
00:10:48,467 --> 00:10:49,713
of that high school in queens.
229
00:10:49,834 --> 00:10:51,613
First, I'd like to respond
to any and all
230
00:10:51,734 --> 00:10:54,000
pedestrian safety-related
questions.
231
00:10:55,367 --> 00:10:57,279
Ok, then.
232
00:10:57,400 --> 00:10:59,613
Have the school books,
in fact, been audited ?
233
00:10:59,734 --> 00:11:02,046
- Ah, no.
- The funds are accounted for ?
234
00:11:02,167 --> 00:11:03,413
Yes. They have.
That's correct.
235
00:11:03,534 --> 00:11:05,413
Well, you don't
really know that.
236
00:11:05,534 --> 00:11:07,546
The books haven't
been audited yet, right ?
237
00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:09,413
Right. Wrong. Wrong.
238
00:11:09,534 --> 00:11:11,079
That's, uh,
I mean, uh...
239
00:11:11,200 --> 00:11:13,801
why are you
doing this to me ?
240
00:11:15,033 --> 00:11:16,546
What are we doing ?
241
00:11:16,667 --> 00:11:18,079
We're just coming home
242
00:11:18,200 --> 00:11:19,680
for a little early lunch.
243
00:11:19,801 --> 00:11:21,146
Mike, it's
quarter after 9:00.
244
00:11:21,267 --> 00:11:22,847
A late breakfast.
245
00:11:22,968 --> 00:11:25,179
All right, you know
why we're here.
246
00:11:25,300 --> 00:11:28,680
I got to get right
back on the horse.
247
00:11:28,801 --> 00:11:32,780
Does the horse have
any say in this ?
248
00:11:32,901 --> 00:11:34,946
The horse gets
no say.
249
00:11:35,067 --> 00:11:38,313
If the horse likes,
it can whinny.
250
00:11:38,434 --> 00:11:43,246
All right, now, please, just
strip and lie back on the bed.
251
00:11:43,367 --> 00:11:45,580
Excuse me ?
252
00:11:45,701 --> 00:11:50,313
Do you know how many people
subscribe to Manhattan magazine ?
253
00:11:50,434 --> 00:11:52,380
246,000.
254
00:11:52,501 --> 00:11:57,380
I feel like I'm having sex
in the middle of Yankee stadium,
255
00:11:57,501 --> 00:11:59,847
and they're all watching
me and judging me.
256
00:11:59,968 --> 00:12:02,346
Honey, maybe you should
see someone about this.
257
00:12:02,467 --> 00:12:04,801
You know, talk to
somebody, a professional.
258
00:12:07,400 --> 00:12:09,946
Is there a good reason
you're not naked yet ?
259
00:12:10,067 --> 00:12:13,079
If I do this,
it is only because I love you
260
00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:15,912
and because it is clear that
you're about to lose your mind.
261
00:12:16,033 --> 00:12:19,847
Well, those are 2 excellent
reasons to have sex with a person.
262
00:12:19,968 --> 00:12:22,213
All right.
Now, I just...
263
00:12:22,334 --> 00:12:23,847
I got to remember...
264
00:12:23,968 --> 00:12:26,912
no matter how much
they may want me,
265
00:12:27,033 --> 00:12:29,346
I'm not making love
to the entire city.
266
00:12:29,467 --> 00:12:31,380
You just got to
narrow it down...
267
00:12:31,501 --> 00:12:32,813
a few square
city blocks.
268
00:12:32,934 --> 00:12:35,246
Pretend
I'm Chinatown.
269
00:12:35,367 --> 00:12:37,747
Chinatown ?
270
00:12:37,868 --> 00:12:39,747
Oh, yeah.
271
00:12:39,868 --> 00:12:41,380
Yeah. I like that.
272
00:12:41,501 --> 00:12:43,413
Mmm. Chinatown.
273
00:12:43,534 --> 00:12:45,313
Mmm. I'm thinking...
274
00:12:45,434 --> 00:12:47,646
I'm thinking silk kimonos.
275
00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:48,613
I'm thinking
geisha girls.
276
00:12:48,734 --> 00:12:50,146
Geisha girls
are japanese.
277
00:12:50,267 --> 00:12:51,380
So ?
278
00:12:51,501 --> 00:12:52,480
So are kimonos.
279
00:12:52,601 --> 00:12:53,946
So ?
280
00:12:54,067 --> 00:12:57,000
So we shouldn't have
culturally insensitive sex.
281
00:12:59,601 --> 00:13:03,113
Not exactly my biggest
problem right now.
282
00:13:03,234 --> 00:13:06,413
I'll apologize to the
pacific rim when we're done.
283
00:13:06,534 --> 00:13:07,780
I'm sorry.
284
00:13:07,901 --> 00:13:09,780
Ok, where were we ?
285
00:13:09,901 --> 00:13:12,847
I mean, you were
just trying to help.
286
00:13:12,968 --> 00:13:14,279
Oh, yeah. Chinatown.
287
00:13:14,400 --> 00:13:15,847
Mmm. Yeah.
288
00:13:15,968 --> 00:13:17,580
I'm thinking... chopsticks.
289
00:13:17,701 --> 00:13:22,968
I'm thinking... dead ducks
hanging in store windows.
290
00:13:28,100 --> 00:13:30,680
You've ruined Chinatown
for me.
291
00:13:30,801 --> 00:13:32,546
Well,
it's a big city.
292
00:13:32,667 --> 00:13:35,413
We just got to try
someplace else.
293
00:13:35,534 --> 00:13:36,346
Little Italy ?
294
00:13:36,467 --> 00:13:37,580
Mmm.
295
00:13:37,701 --> 00:13:39,934
Oh, bene, bene.
Molto bene.
296
00:13:42,767 --> 00:13:45,279
Checkered tablecloths.
297
00:13:45,400 --> 00:13:46,446
Um... tiramisu.
298
00:13:46,567 --> 00:13:47,513
Penne.
299
00:13:47,634 --> 00:13:50,513
You're making me
hungry.
300
00:13:50,634 --> 00:13:53,946
No, no.
It's just New York.
301
00:13:54,067 --> 00:13:55,380
How about Santa Fe ?
302
00:13:55,501 --> 00:13:56,946
No.
303
00:13:57,067 --> 00:13:58,380
Minneapolis ?
304
00:13:58,501 --> 00:13:59,946
No.
305
00:14:00,067 --> 00:14:00,946
Houston ?
306
00:14:01,067 --> 00:14:01,946
Houston ?
307
00:14:02,067 --> 00:14:03,567
Houston.
308
00:14:05,434 --> 00:14:06,813
Houston...
309
00:14:06,934 --> 00:14:09,734
we have a problem.
310
00:14:16,868 --> 00:14:19,113
We have got to stop
obsessing about this.
311
00:14:19,234 --> 00:14:20,546
You're right.
You're right.
312
00:14:20,667 --> 00:14:24,100
I mean, it's not really
that big a deal.
313
00:14:25,667 --> 00:14:28,100
I won't blame you
if you want to leave me.
314
00:14:29,601 --> 00:14:31,979
Come on. I love you,
and I will love you
315
00:14:32,100 --> 00:14:34,979
even if you can never
have sex again.
316
00:14:35,100 --> 00:14:36,879
Thanks.
317
00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:40,100
Up until this moment, I hadn't
considered that possibility.
318
00:14:41,534 --> 00:14:43,079
Excuse me.
319
00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:45,246
Aren't you on Helen duty
tonight ?
320
00:14:45,367 --> 00:14:48,467
'Cause I'm Helen, and
where have you been ?
321
00:14:49,701 --> 00:14:51,979
You know,
down at the office,
322
00:14:52,100 --> 00:14:53,680
we don't refer to it
as Helen duty.
323
00:14:53,801 --> 00:14:55,780
We refer to it
as Helen privilege.
324
00:14:55,901 --> 00:14:58,634
You really didn't have to
get me a corsage, James.
325
00:15:02,334 --> 00:15:05,580
I thought it would make it
look more like a real date.
326
00:15:05,701 --> 00:15:08,613
If you were
prom king, maybe !
327
00:15:08,734 --> 00:15:11,580
Oh, I'm just kidding. We're
gonna have a good time.
328
00:15:11,701 --> 00:15:14,567
Well, you better believe it.
Look what I smuggled in.
329
00:15:17,167 --> 00:15:19,767
We got peach schnapps.
330
00:15:23,601 --> 00:15:25,246
You're kidding.
331
00:15:25,367 --> 00:15:27,546
We're gonna party
very hard tonight.
332
00:15:27,667 --> 00:15:29,847
You're not kidding.
333
00:15:29,968 --> 00:15:33,033
So, both of you guys
are in a rowboat...
334
00:15:38,767 --> 00:15:41,546
no, no, no. Stop me
if you've heard this one.
335
00:15:41,667 --> 00:15:44,613
Right now, 100,000 papers
are being printed up,
336
00:15:44,734 --> 00:15:47,747
and every one of them has a
picture of a janitor on a yacht.
337
00:15:47,868 --> 00:15:50,613
And you know why, Karen ?
338
00:15:50,734 --> 00:15:52,946
Because he
was cleaning it ?
339
00:15:53,067 --> 00:15:55,380
Because of me.
Because I can't do my job.
340
00:15:55,501 --> 00:15:56,879
I'm an albatross.
341
00:15:57,000 --> 00:15:59,546
Are you gonna eat
that cherry ?
342
00:15:59,667 --> 00:16:00,813
So, how are
you guys doing ?
343
00:16:00,934 --> 00:16:02,601
Paul's
making me sad.
344
00:16:05,834 --> 00:16:06,912
You should go and dance.
345
00:16:07,033 --> 00:16:08,701
Okeydokey.
346
00:16:10,367 --> 00:16:12,012
What's up ?
347
00:16:12,133 --> 00:16:14,213
Ah, I'm fine. I'm fine.
I'm... I'm fine.
348
00:16:14,334 --> 00:16:16,713
How many drinks
have you had ?
349
00:16:16,834 --> 00:16:18,834
Oh, this is
my first one.
350
00:16:23,334 --> 00:16:24,713
Really ?
351
00:16:24,834 --> 00:16:26,246
All right. All right.
352
00:16:26,367 --> 00:16:27,367
2.
353
00:16:32,868 --> 00:16:34,480
Unbelievable.
354
00:16:34,601 --> 00:16:37,747
Hey, Paul.
Let me ask you something.
355
00:16:37,868 --> 00:16:40,513
How much do you weigh ?
356
00:16:40,634 --> 00:16:43,046
I don't know.
About 175.
357
00:16:43,167 --> 00:16:44,747
Popular kid in school,
were you ?
358
00:16:44,868 --> 00:16:46,747
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
359
00:16:46,868 --> 00:16:50,246
Yeah, guys love me.
Yeah. Yeah.
360
00:16:50,367 --> 00:16:52,279
- Where did you go to college ?
- Notre dame.
361
00:16:52,400 --> 00:16:53,646
There it is.
362
00:16:53,767 --> 00:16:54,946
I see it.
363
00:16:55,067 --> 00:16:57,446
What ? I did.
I went to Notre Dame.
364
00:16:57,567 --> 00:16:59,879
Paul, you tip it
when you lie.
365
00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:01,380
I do not.
366
00:17:01,501 --> 00:17:04,513
Oh, yeah, really ? When did
you lose your virginity ?
367
00:17:04,634 --> 00:17:06,200
- I don't know. When I was 16.
- Paul.
368
00:17:07,267 --> 00:17:08,979
- All right. I was in college.
- Paul.
369
00:17:09,100 --> 00:17:10,946
All right !
I was 33.
370
00:17:11,067 --> 00:17:12,979
But, Mike,
you should have seen her.
371
00:17:13,100 --> 00:17:15,046
She was beautiful.
She was a model.
372
00:17:15,167 --> 00:17:17,012
You know, she didn't
like me at first,
373
00:17:17,133 --> 00:17:19,113
but then she was
head-over-heels for me.
374
00:17:19,234 --> 00:17:21,213
Oh, my god !
Oh, god !
375
00:17:21,334 --> 00:17:23,346
I touch my face
when I lie !
376
00:17:23,467 --> 00:17:24,513
Oh, my god !
377
00:17:24,634 --> 00:17:27,113
Oh, Mike ! Oh, no !
Oh, god !
378
00:17:27,234 --> 00:17:29,446
Carter, let me
ask you something.
379
00:17:29,567 --> 00:17:31,813
Shoot.
380
00:17:31,934 --> 00:17:33,501
Suppose I was...
381
00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:37,879
you know.
382
00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:40,380
Gay, Stuart.
The word is gay.
383
00:17:40,501 --> 00:17:44,879
It only has one syllable.
I know you can say it.
384
00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:46,879
Ok. Suppose I was gay.
385
00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:48,380
Would you find me...
386
00:17:48,501 --> 00:17:49,667
no !
387
00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:57,446
Not even a l...
388
00:17:57,567 --> 00:17:59,513
no !
389
00:17:59,634 --> 00:18:00,946
I work out.
390
00:18:01,067 --> 00:18:02,634
I don't care.
391
00:18:04,501 --> 00:18:06,946
Can I...
can I ask you something ?
392
00:18:07,067 --> 00:18:09,012
Fire away.
393
00:18:09,133 --> 00:18:10,912
When you, uh...
394
00:18:11,033 --> 00:18:13,546
when you first started
making speeches,
395
00:18:13,667 --> 00:18:15,847
you know, and
running for office,
396
00:18:15,968 --> 00:18:17,079
and being
in the public eye,
397
00:18:17,200 --> 00:18:21,713
did you develop...
any problems...
398
00:18:21,834 --> 00:18:22,912
you know...
399
00:18:23,033 --> 00:18:24,780
handling the pressure ?
400
00:18:24,901 --> 00:18:29,912
You know, I've never
told anybody about this before.
401
00:18:30,033 --> 00:18:34,413
Once I took Helen to this
beautiful, old romantic inn
402
00:18:34,534 --> 00:18:36,912
to get away
for the weekend,
403
00:18:37,033 --> 00:18:39,979
and, bam,
it happened.
404
00:18:40,100 --> 00:18:42,380
That's right.
405
00:18:42,501 --> 00:18:44,046
Bam !
406
00:18:44,167 --> 00:18:46,012
That's the way
it was for me.
407
00:18:46,133 --> 00:18:48,567
My golf game
went right out the window.
408
00:18:50,501 --> 00:18:52,946
And by your golf game,
409
00:18:53,067 --> 00:18:55,380
I take it
you actually...
410
00:18:55,501 --> 00:18:58,046
mean your golf game.
411
00:18:58,167 --> 00:19:00,546
I used to play
every day.
412
00:19:00,667 --> 00:19:04,012
Sometimes twice
if I had the stamina.
413
00:19:04,133 --> 00:19:06,813
Then I became
Mayor Winston.
414
00:19:06,934 --> 00:19:08,580
I completely
fell apart.
415
00:19:08,701 --> 00:19:10,747
I still managed
to make it to the green,
416
00:19:10,868 --> 00:19:12,912
but then I'd pull
my putter out...
417
00:19:13,033 --> 00:19:14,713
nothing.
418
00:19:14,834 --> 00:19:17,680
It just... it just
didn't feel right.
419
00:19:17,801 --> 00:19:18,847
Exactly.
420
00:19:18,968 --> 00:19:20,912
My confidence was shot.
421
00:19:21,033 --> 00:19:25,146
You know, and you can't
fix that at the driving range.
422
00:19:25,267 --> 00:19:26,313
Oh, no.
423
00:19:26,434 --> 00:19:30,413
You can practice
by yourself all day...
424
00:19:30,534 --> 00:19:33,346
it's just not the same.
425
00:19:33,467 --> 00:19:35,467
You speak the truth.
426
00:19:36,968 --> 00:19:38,346
So, what did you do ?
427
00:19:38,467 --> 00:19:40,912
I mean, how did you
get past it ?
428
00:19:41,033 --> 00:19:43,946
I didn't.
I quit the game.
429
00:19:44,067 --> 00:19:45,747
Golf isn't
everything, Mike.
430
00:19:45,868 --> 00:19:51,613
Oh, but what if you
really, really loved golf ?
431
00:19:51,734 --> 00:19:53,279
Well...
432
00:19:53,400 --> 00:19:56,480
if I was going to try to
get back on the course,
433
00:19:56,601 --> 00:20:00,346
I think I would focus on what
drew me there in the first place...
434
00:20:00,467 --> 00:20:05,100
the pure, simple
beauty of the game.
435
00:20:08,968 --> 00:20:11,346
The beauty of the game ?
436
00:20:11,467 --> 00:20:13,680
Thank you, sir.
437
00:20:13,801 --> 00:20:16,367
Are you a golfer,
Flaherty ?
438
00:20:17,667 --> 00:20:20,279
Uh, used to be.
439
00:20:20,400 --> 00:20:22,968
Haven't played much
in a while.
440
00:20:24,567 --> 00:20:27,780
I'm thinking
of taking it up again.
441
00:20:27,901 --> 00:20:30,968
Well, you should.
Best 6 hours of your life.
442
00:20:32,300 --> 00:20:35,367
I think that might be
a little optimistic, sir.
443
00:20:36,934 --> 00:20:40,646
Well, this has been
a little slice of heaven.
444
00:20:40,767 --> 00:20:42,313
He's awful cute, though.
445
00:20:42,434 --> 00:20:44,000
Thank you.
446
00:20:45,534 --> 00:20:50,246
You are so unbelievably beautiful.
447
00:20:50,367 --> 00:20:52,033
Thank you.
448
00:20:55,033 --> 00:20:58,380
When I look
into your eyes,
449
00:20:58,501 --> 00:21:01,780
I just want to be with you
for the rest of my life.
450
00:21:01,901 --> 00:21:03,413
Excuse us.
451
00:21:03,534 --> 00:21:06,979
Mike, there are
people around.
452
00:21:07,100 --> 00:21:09,780
You know what ?
I don't care.
453
00:21:09,901 --> 00:21:14,979
I want you...
right here and right now.
454
00:21:15,100 --> 00:21:17,646
You don't have to put this
kind of pressure on yourself.
455
00:21:17,767 --> 00:21:19,567
This really is not
the place...
456
00:21:22,968 --> 00:21:23,912
let's go.
457
00:21:24,033 --> 00:21:25,747
Yeah. Excuse us. Coming through.
458
00:21:25,868 --> 00:21:28,767
Deputy Mayor. Official business.
Coming through.
459
00:21:32,467 --> 00:21:34,334
It's alive !
460
00:21:38,467 --> 00:21:40,780
I don't want to be
baby-sat
461
00:21:40,901 --> 00:21:42,646
every time
we leave the house.
462
00:21:42,767 --> 00:21:44,780
So I suppose I could,
463
00:21:44,901 --> 00:21:47,780
in situations where
your career is at stake,
464
00:21:47,901 --> 00:21:52,501
take more care
to be... appropriate.
465
00:21:56,501 --> 00:22:00,879
That's my deputy Mayor
and his girlfriend.
466
00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:03,146
They seem very happy.
467
00:22:03,267 --> 00:22:06,380
You would be, too,
if you just had sex.
468
00:22:06,501 --> 00:22:08,334
Father !
469
00:22:10,067 --> 00:22:12,701
Sit, Ubu, sit. Good dog.
470
00:22:13,901 --> 00:22:15,334
Moo.
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
www.tvsubtitles.net
33308
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof