All language subtitles for South Park - S05E02.eng

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified) Download
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:09,802 --> 00:00:10,469 I'm going down to South Park. 2 00:00:10,511 --> 00:00:12,430 Gonna have myself a time. 3 00:00:12,555 --> 00:00:13,931 Friendly faces everywhere. 4 00:00:14,056 --> 00:00:15,933 Humble folks without temptation 5 00:00:16,058 --> 00:00:17,119 I'm going down to South Park. 6 00:00:17,143 --> 00:00:19,061 Gonna leave my woes behind. 7 00:00:19,186 --> 00:00:20,896 Ample parking day or night. 8 00:00:21,022 --> 00:00:22,398 People spouting "howdy, neighbor". 9 00:00:22,523 --> 00:00:23,858 Headin' on up to South Park. 10 00:00:23,983 --> 00:00:25,818 Gonna see if I can't unwind. 11 00:00:29,071 --> 00:00:30,239 So come on down to South Park. 12 00:00:30,364 --> 00:00:31,991 And meet some friends of mine. 13 00:00:35,411 --> 00:00:36,996 Well, you boys must be pretty excited... 14 00:00:37,121 --> 00:00:38,914 Your first night of scouts. 15 00:00:39,040 --> 00:00:40,100 It's gonna suck; There's gonna be 16 00:00:40,124 --> 00:00:41,226 all these new kids there we don't know. 17 00:00:41,250 --> 00:00:42,752 Yeah. 18 00:00:42,877 --> 00:00:44,378 Well, now, that's part of the fun. 19 00:00:44,503 --> 00:00:46,189 Yeah, both Kenny's dad and I were in scouts for years. 20 00:00:46,213 --> 00:00:47,399 Was your dad in scouts, Cartman? 21 00:00:47,423 --> 00:00:48,623 Oh, yeah, you don't have a dad. 22 00:00:50,176 --> 00:00:52,386 That's not funny! Jesus Christ! 23 00:00:52,511 --> 00:00:54,406 Are you excited for your first night of scouts, Timmy? 24 00:00:54,430 --> 00:00:56,432 Yeah, Timmy! 25 00:00:56,557 --> 00:00:57,557 Yeah, he's excited. 26 00:01:02,980 --> 00:01:04,940 Hey, fellas. Hey, Butters. 27 00:01:05,066 --> 00:01:06,358 Boy, am I glad to see you guys. 28 00:01:06,484 --> 00:01:08,128 There's lots of kids here from other schools. 29 00:01:08,152 --> 00:01:09,695 I don't know anybody. 30 00:01:09,820 --> 00:01:11,256 All right, boys, we're gonna head to the bar. 31 00:01:11,280 --> 00:01:12,907 We'll be back to pick you up at 9:00. 32 00:01:13,032 --> 00:01:14,801 You boys just make sure to obey the scout leader, now. 33 00:01:14,825 --> 00:01:15,826 He's the man in charge. 34 00:01:15,951 --> 00:01:18,287 Hello, scouts! 35 00:01:18,412 --> 00:01:19,914 Hey, it's Big Gay Al. 36 00:01:20,039 --> 00:01:21,039 Hello, Stanley. 37 00:01:21,082 --> 00:01:22,267 I was happy to see you and your 38 00:01:22,291 --> 00:01:23,751 little friends' names on the list. 39 00:01:23,876 --> 00:01:24,876 Timmy! 40 00:01:24,919 --> 00:01:26,712 You're the new scout leader? 41 00:01:26,837 --> 00:01:28,255 I just got transferred in. 42 00:01:28,380 --> 00:01:30,233 I think everyone's here now, so we can get started. 43 00:01:30,257 --> 00:01:32,176 Come on, scouts. We've got work to do. 44 00:01:32,301 --> 00:01:33,886 - Hooray! - See you, Dad. 45 00:01:35,930 --> 00:01:38,099 Hey, are you parents gonna stand there all night? 46 00:01:38,224 --> 00:01:40,935 This meeting is for scouts only, you silly gooses. 47 00:01:44,021 --> 00:01:45,898 Now, before we get started, scouts, 48 00:01:46,023 --> 00:01:47,024 I want to introduce you 49 00:01:47,149 --> 00:01:49,151 to someone very special here tonight. 50 00:01:49,276 --> 00:01:51,278 He's a brave little boy with disabilities 51 00:01:51,403 --> 00:01:54,156 who proves just by being here that scouts are for everyone! 52 00:01:54,281 --> 00:01:55,491 Timmy! 53 00:01:55,616 --> 00:01:57,260 So let's all all give a big round of applause 54 00:01:57,284 --> 00:01:58,828 to little Jimmy. 55 00:01:58,953 --> 00:02:01,163 Well, hello, everyone. 56 00:02:02,790 --> 00:02:05,042 J-Jimmy? 57 00:02:07,920 --> 00:02:10,464 Look, I'm not saying the new scout leader's a bad person. 58 00:02:10,589 --> 00:02:12,466 I just don't think he should be a scout leader. 59 00:02:12,591 --> 00:02:14,444 Well, he got to where he is by being a good scout. 60 00:02:14,468 --> 00:02:15,908 Maybe we should just leave him alone. 61 00:02:15,970 --> 00:02:17,471 Well, how gay is he? 62 00:02:17,596 --> 00:02:19,306 He's really, really gay. 63 00:02:19,431 --> 00:02:21,034 Well, then I don't want my boy there, either. 64 00:02:21,058 --> 00:02:23,185 So he's a homosexual. So what? 65 00:02:23,310 --> 00:02:25,312 I have nothing against homosexuals either, Randy, 66 00:02:25,437 --> 00:02:27,148 but the big camping trip is next week. 67 00:02:27,273 --> 00:02:29,459 Are you saying you're fine with this guy camping overnight 68 00:02:29,483 --> 00:02:31,068 alone with our boys? 69 00:02:31,193 --> 00:02:33,028 You know, boys emulate authority figures. 70 00:02:33,154 --> 00:02:34,738 Even if it doesn't turn them gay, 71 00:02:34,864 --> 00:02:36,490 they can end up all talking all femme 72 00:02:36,615 --> 00:02:38,367 and prancing around like girls. 73 00:02:38,492 --> 00:02:39,493 Ah, that's ridiculous. 74 00:02:39,618 --> 00:02:42,204 People, people! Please! 75 00:02:42,329 --> 00:02:45,207 You're forgetting that homosexuality is a choice. 76 00:02:45,332 --> 00:02:49,920 As many of you know, I myself went through a homosexual phase. 77 00:02:50,045 --> 00:02:52,047 But the light of Christ showed me how to change. 78 00:02:52,173 --> 00:02:53,400 Just give me two hours with this man, 79 00:02:53,424 --> 00:02:55,092 and I can convert him back. 80 00:02:55,217 --> 00:02:56,969 That's what you said about Peterson, 81 00:02:57,094 --> 00:02:58,613 and then you ended up having sex with him. 82 00:02:58,637 --> 00:03:00,389 - That's right. - You did. 83 00:03:00,514 --> 00:03:03,726 And so that's how to make banana nut muffins. 84 00:03:03,851 --> 00:03:05,728 And now, as a very special treat, 85 00:03:05,853 --> 00:03:07,354 our very special friend Jimmy 86 00:03:07,479 --> 00:03:08,856 is going to do what he loves most: 87 00:03:08,981 --> 00:03:10,941 Motivational stand-up comedy. 88 00:03:11,066 --> 00:03:12,234 Let's give him a big hand. 89 00:03:13,861 --> 00:03:15,237 Wow, what a great audience. 90 00:03:15,362 --> 00:03:16,842 Well, just in case you were wondering, 91 00:03:16,906 --> 00:03:18,240 I do have a disability: 92 00:03:18,365 --> 00:03:20,485 I am totally happy with the way I was born, very much. 93 00:03:20,576 --> 00:03:22,336 I travel to different states and talk to kids 94 00:03:22,369 --> 00:03:23,996 about being proud of what they are. 95 00:03:24,121 --> 00:03:26,415 My mom says God has a p-plan for everyone. 96 00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:28,375 I guess I was plan "B." 97 00:03:30,502 --> 00:03:32,087 You guys like impersonations? 98 00:03:33,214 --> 00:03:34,256 Timmy. 99 00:03:34,381 --> 00:03:36,091 How about Jimmy Stewart? 100 00:03:36,217 --> 00:03:37,417 "Merry Christmas, movie house." 101 00:03:37,468 --> 00:03:38,886 And John Travolta... 102 00:03:39,011 --> 00:03:40,095 "Oh, my God, Mr. Kotter. 103 00:03:40,221 --> 00:03:41,764 Mr. Kotter, oh, my God. Mr. Kotter." 104 00:03:42,890 --> 00:03:43,890 Jimmy's funny, dude. 105 00:03:43,933 --> 00:03:45,309 Yeah, well, 106 00:03:45,434 --> 00:03:47,474 he's the coolest kid with disabilities in the world. 107 00:03:49,021 --> 00:03:50,397 Uh, Kenny, it's 9:00. 108 00:03:50,522 --> 00:03:52,107 Come on, Stanley. 109 00:03:52,233 --> 00:03:53,543 Oops, guess we're out of time, kids. 110 00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:55,444 Now, remember, tomorrow you all have bake sales 111 00:03:55,569 --> 00:03:57,449 in your respective neighborhoods to raise money. 112 00:03:57,571 --> 00:03:58,851 We'll meet back here next Tuesday 113 00:03:58,906 --> 00:04:00,115 and see who raised the most. 114 00:04:00,241 --> 00:04:01,881 - Good luck! - Hey, I've got a great idea. 115 00:04:01,992 --> 00:04:02,868 Why don't we see if Jimmy wants 116 00:04:02,993 --> 00:04:04,095 to come be in our scout club? 117 00:04:04,119 --> 00:04:05,955 - Hey, yeah. - Timmy, Timmy. 118 00:04:06,080 --> 00:04:07,515 Hey, Jimmy, you want to come join our bake sale 119 00:04:07,539 --> 00:04:09,208 in South Park tomorrow? 120 00:04:09,333 --> 00:04:10,810 Jeez, sure, that'd be great. Thanks, fellas. 121 00:04:10,834 --> 00:04:11,919 Come on, Stan. 122 00:04:12,044 --> 00:04:13,484 Bye, Big Gay Al. We had a great time. 123 00:04:13,587 --> 00:04:15,256 - Yeah, thanks. - Bye, Jimmy! 124 00:04:15,381 --> 00:04:17,049 See you tomorrow at the bake sale, fellas. 125 00:04:17,174 --> 00:04:18,050 You were right, Dad. 126 00:04:18,175 --> 00:04:19,255 - Scouts is awesome. - Yeah! 127 00:04:19,301 --> 00:04:20,719 We told ghost stories and learned 128 00:04:20,844 --> 00:04:22,364 how to make a tornado in a glass bottle. 129 00:04:22,388 --> 00:04:23,990 Yeah, we learned how to make cakes and muffins 130 00:04:24,014 --> 00:04:25,266 for our bake sale. 131 00:04:25,391 --> 00:04:27,151 And best of all, we met this kid named Jimmy. 132 00:04:27,226 --> 00:04:28,995 He's disabled but he doesn't let it ruin his life. 133 00:04:29,019 --> 00:04:29,895 He's awesome! 134 00:04:30,020 --> 00:04:31,146 Yeah, we're gonna use him 135 00:04:31,272 --> 00:04:32,815 to help raise money at our bake sale. 136 00:04:32,940 --> 00:04:34,900 Cartman, don't say "use him", you big silly goose. 137 00:04:36,235 --> 00:04:37,111 What did you say? 138 00:04:37,236 --> 00:04:38,779 I just called Cartman a name. 139 00:04:38,904 --> 00:04:39,989 He's a silly goose. 140 00:04:41,407 --> 00:04:43,951 You do not say "big silly goose"! 141 00:04:44,076 --> 00:04:45,786 You call him an asshole like a normal kid. 142 00:04:45,911 --> 00:04:46,453 But, dad, I was just trying to... 143 00:04:46,578 --> 00:04:47,830 Stanley, you call your friend 144 00:04:47,955 --> 00:04:49,915 an asshole this instant! 145 00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:51,040 Asshole? 146 00:04:51,125 --> 00:04:52,334 That's better. 147 00:04:52,459 --> 00:04:54,099 Don't call me asshole, you son of a bitch. 148 00:04:57,214 --> 00:04:58,340 Uh, hello? 149 00:04:58,465 --> 00:04:59,985 We're having a bake sale to raise money 150 00:05:00,092 --> 00:05:01,677 for scout troop number six-nine. 151 00:05:01,802 --> 00:05:03,804 Uh, please stop by and give us a hand. 152 00:05:03,929 --> 00:05:05,240 And now, for your entertainment... 153 00:05:05,264 --> 00:05:07,891 Our new best friend, stand-up comic Jimmy! 154 00:05:09,268 --> 00:05:10,978 Wow, what a great audience. 155 00:05:11,103 --> 00:05:13,314 I just flew into South Park. Boy, are my crutches tired. 156 00:05:15,816 --> 00:05:17,192 What a terrific audience. 157 00:05:17,318 --> 00:05:18,819 You know, people sometimes ask me, 158 00:05:18,944 --> 00:05:21,280 "Are you angry at God for making disabled people?" 159 00:05:21,405 --> 00:05:24,241 I say, "no, I think the world is better with President Bush." 160 00:05:27,828 --> 00:05:29,330 What a brave little boy. 161 00:05:29,455 --> 00:05:31,832 He's able to use comedy to overcome his handicap. 162 00:05:31,957 --> 00:05:32,958 I love him! 163 00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:34,126 Timmy. 164 00:05:34,168 --> 00:05:35,461 Well, I sure have met 165 00:05:35,586 --> 00:05:37,272 a lot of interesting people here in South Park. 166 00:05:37,296 --> 00:05:39,131 How about that Eric Cartman kid, huh? 167 00:05:39,256 --> 00:05:42,134 "God damn it. No, kitty, that's my pot pie! 168 00:05:42,259 --> 00:05:43,469 God damn it! God damn it!" 169 00:05:45,512 --> 00:05:47,056 - Heh, heh. - I don't sound like that. 170 00:05:47,181 --> 00:05:49,892 And how about that school counselor? 171 00:05:50,017 --> 00:05:52,895 "Drugs are bad. Drugs are bad, okay? 172 00:05:53,020 --> 00:05:55,230 Drugs are bad, okay? Okay?" 173 00:05:55,356 --> 00:05:56,774 Wow, what a great audience. 174 00:05:56,899 --> 00:05:58,275 "Mr. Hat, be quiet, Mr. Hat. 175 00:05:58,400 --> 00:06:00,235 "Mr... hello, there, children, Mr. Hat. 176 00:06:00,361 --> 00:06:01,695 "Hello, Mr. Hat. 177 00:06:01,820 --> 00:06:03,380 "I'm making salisbury steak for lunch... 178 00:06:03,489 --> 00:06:05,741 Salisbury steak for lunch." 179 00:06:05,866 --> 00:06:07,743 "God damn it! God damn it!" 180 00:06:09,203 --> 00:06:11,038 And of course, my very favorite... 181 00:06:11,163 --> 00:06:12,790 "Timmy! Timmy! 182 00:06:12,915 --> 00:06:14,958 I'm living a lie. I'm living a lie, Timmy!" 183 00:06:17,419 --> 00:06:19,171 "Timmy, I'm living a lie. 184 00:06:19,296 --> 00:06:20,964 Ah, Timmy!" 185 00:06:21,090 --> 00:06:23,109 Sometimes it's like, "please, Timmy, learn a new word." 186 00:06:23,133 --> 00:06:24,426 "Timmy! Timmy!" 187 00:06:28,555 --> 00:06:30,235 Wow, it looks like when it comes to comedy, 188 00:06:30,265 --> 00:06:31,892 I really take the c-c... 189 00:06:32,017 --> 00:06:33,143 I really take the ca... 190 00:06:33,268 --> 00:06:34,770 I really take the ca-cake. 191 00:06:35,896 --> 00:06:38,273 Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy! 192 00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:41,110 Timmy! 193 00:06:43,570 --> 00:06:45,197 Well, this is it. 194 00:06:45,322 --> 00:06:46,949 We've simply gotten too many complaints 195 00:06:47,074 --> 00:06:48,909 from concerned parents about him. 196 00:06:49,034 --> 00:06:50,303 I'm afraid we don't have a choice. 197 00:06:50,327 --> 00:06:51,327 Hiya, fellas! 198 00:06:51,412 --> 00:06:52,955 How are you today, scout? 199 00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:55,124 I'm super. Thanks for asking. 200 00:06:55,249 --> 00:06:56,875 The troops are off having bake sales, 201 00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:58,853 and I'm pleased to report that we have already raised 202 00:06:58,877 --> 00:07:00,379 over $600 for the event. 203 00:07:00,504 --> 00:07:01,296 Yippee! 204 00:07:01,422 --> 00:07:03,298 Uh, Big Gay Al, 205 00:07:03,424 --> 00:07:06,969 It has recently come to our attention that you are... gay. 206 00:07:07,094 --> 00:07:08,387 Well, stop the presses. 207 00:07:08,512 --> 00:07:10,365 You figure that out all by yourself, silly buns? 208 00:07:10,389 --> 00:07:12,141 Yes, well, unfortunately for you, 209 00:07:12,266 --> 00:07:15,144 the scouts have a policy that openly gay men 210 00:07:15,269 --> 00:07:16,770 cannot belong. 211 00:07:16,895 --> 00:07:18,814 We are left with no options, Mr. Al. 212 00:07:18,939 --> 00:07:21,984 I'm afraid you are hereby... out of scouts. 213 00:07:22,109 --> 00:07:24,820 Out of scouts? 214 00:07:24,945 --> 00:07:26,655 We're sorry, Mr. Gay Al. 215 00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:28,824 But I've been in scouts since I was nine. 216 00:07:28,949 --> 00:07:30,826 It's a huge part of my life. 217 00:07:30,951 --> 00:07:33,704 You must understand that scouts is a private club, 218 00:07:33,829 --> 00:07:35,289 a club that follows certain beliefs, 219 00:07:35,414 --> 00:07:38,167 and one of those beliefs is that homosexuality is immoral. 220 00:07:38,292 --> 00:07:40,794 I see. 221 00:07:40,919 --> 00:07:42,838 It's nothing against you personally. 222 00:07:42,963 --> 00:07:44,315 What if I promise not to be gay anymore? 223 00:07:44,339 --> 00:07:45,924 Pinkie swear! 224 00:07:46,049 --> 00:07:47,843 We think it's best you just move on. 225 00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:49,386 Right. Move on. 226 00:07:55,476 --> 00:07:57,186 Oh, hey, Timmy. 227 00:07:57,311 --> 00:07:58,854 I'm glad you called, very much. 228 00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:01,040 I've been detecting some animosity towards me lately, 229 00:08:01,064 --> 00:08:02,417 and I was hoping we could bury the hatchet. 230 00:08:02,441 --> 00:08:03,441 Timmy. 231 00:08:03,484 --> 00:08:04,943 What's that? 232 00:08:05,068 --> 00:08:06,653 A-libba-la, Timmy. 233 00:08:06,778 --> 00:08:08,030 A present? You got me a present? 234 00:08:08,155 --> 00:08:09,364 Timmy! 235 00:08:09,490 --> 00:08:11,033 Gee, you didn't have to do that. 236 00:08:11,158 --> 00:08:13,261 I mean, I understand why you'd be jealous of my talents. 237 00:08:13,285 --> 00:08:14,745 If you work at it, maybe you could be 238 00:08:14,870 --> 00:08:16,288 as handi-capable as I am, huh? 239 00:08:16,413 --> 00:08:18,081 Wow, a parka. 240 00:08:18,207 --> 00:08:19,666 You didn't have to do that, Tim-Tim. 241 00:08:19,791 --> 00:08:20,876 Tim, Timmy. 242 00:08:21,001 --> 00:08:22,252 Oh, sure. I'll see if it fits. 243 00:08:24,046 --> 00:08:26,632 This is very warm. Thanks a lot, Tim-Tim. 244 00:08:26,757 --> 00:08:27,382 Well, I'll see you around. 245 00:08:27,508 --> 00:08:29,051 Timmy! 246 00:08:35,098 --> 00:08:36,326 There he is. Kill him! Kill him! 247 00:08:36,350 --> 00:08:37,893 Oh, wait. That's not him. 248 00:08:41,355 --> 00:08:43,690 Thanks again, Tim-Tim! 249 00:08:43,815 --> 00:08:44,900 Tim, Timmy! 250 00:09:16,807 --> 00:09:19,643 Bye, scouts. 251 00:09:19,768 --> 00:09:21,979 Okay, okay, Mark. Stop playing now. 252 00:09:22,104 --> 00:09:23,313 Hey, don't yell at me. 253 00:09:23,438 --> 00:09:25,190 You asked me to come over and play sad songs 254 00:09:25,315 --> 00:09:26,918 for you to pack to, and then you yell at me. 255 00:09:26,942 --> 00:09:28,944 I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 256 00:09:29,069 --> 00:09:31,029 But now I've packed everything away, so just... 257 00:09:31,154 --> 00:09:32,990 Well, play something uplifting like... 258 00:09:33,115 --> 00:09:34,384 "I'm gonna put all this behind me 259 00:09:34,408 --> 00:09:36,827 and make it okay" music. 260 00:09:36,952 --> 00:09:38,745 Oh, I don't want her, you can have her. 261 00:09:38,870 --> 00:09:40,163 She's too fat for me. 262 00:09:40,289 --> 00:09:42,165 Oh, Jesus, Mark. 263 00:09:46,044 --> 00:09:48,797 Parents, this is the new scout leader, Mr. Grazier. 264 00:09:48,922 --> 00:09:51,008 He will be taking over for the homosexual. 265 00:09:51,133 --> 00:09:51,758 Nice to meet you. 266 00:09:52,009 --> 00:09:54,219 Marsh, right? We actually kind of know each other. 267 00:09:54,344 --> 00:09:55,488 Your wife and mine are friends. 268 00:09:55,512 --> 00:09:57,347 Your wife, huh? 269 00:09:57,472 --> 00:09:58,557 Carol is is the head 270 00:09:58,599 --> 00:09:59,959 of a girls' Mountain Scouts troop. 271 00:10:00,017 --> 00:10:02,227 Well, I guess we're off to the bar until 9:00, then. 272 00:10:02,352 --> 00:10:04,021 Gonna go pound some brews, huh? 273 00:10:04,146 --> 00:10:06,315 And so I says to him, "hey, I may be handicapped, 274 00:10:06,440 --> 00:10:08,191 but I'm not deaf." 275 00:10:09,526 --> 00:10:11,028 Wow, what a terrific audience. 276 00:10:11,153 --> 00:10:12,964 Well, for my next joke, I'm gonna need a volunteer 277 00:10:12,988 --> 00:10:14,448 from the audience, very much. 278 00:10:14,573 --> 00:10:16,033 - How about you, Timmy? - Timmy. 279 00:10:16,158 --> 00:10:17,358 Sure, come on up here, Tim-Tim. 280 00:10:18,910 --> 00:10:20,162 Timmy, Ladies and Gentlemen. 281 00:10:20,287 --> 00:10:21,913 Let's all give him a hand, very much. 282 00:10:22,039 --> 00:10:23,999 Come to think of it, give him a pair of legs, too. 283 00:10:24,958 --> 00:10:28,128 Here, Timmy. Put on this silly hat. 284 00:10:28,253 --> 00:10:30,047 Just for a second, Timmy. 285 00:10:30,172 --> 00:10:32,215 Don't be a jerk, Timmy. 286 00:10:32,341 --> 00:10:33,091 Hey, don't push me! 287 00:10:33,216 --> 00:10:34,301 Timmy! 288 00:10:34,426 --> 00:10:35,802 Cripple fight! 289 00:10:35,927 --> 00:10:37,220 That is enough, scouts! 290 00:10:37,346 --> 00:10:38,388 Take your seats! 291 00:10:38,513 --> 00:10:39,806 Aww! 292 00:10:39,931 --> 00:10:41,099 All right, scouts. 293 00:10:41,224 --> 00:10:44,102 I am your new scout master, Mr. Grazier. 294 00:10:44,227 --> 00:10:46,247 Together, we are going to become the best, the sleekest, 295 00:10:46,271 --> 00:10:48,857 the most well-polished scout troop in all of Colorado. 296 00:10:48,982 --> 00:10:50,692 Isn't that right? 297 00:10:50,817 --> 00:10:51,857 When I ask you a question, 298 00:10:51,902 --> 00:10:53,342 you will answer, "yes, scout master." 299 00:10:53,445 --> 00:10:54,237 Do I make myself clear? 300 00:10:54,363 --> 00:10:55,781 Yes, scout master. 301 00:10:55,906 --> 00:10:57,157 Good. 302 00:10:57,282 --> 00:10:59,993 Now, the first activity for this evening will be... 303 00:11:00,118 --> 00:11:01,912 Naked pictures. 304 00:11:02,037 --> 00:11:04,289 I'm going to take some pictures of each of you naked 305 00:11:04,414 --> 00:11:06,166 in case we need them for later. 306 00:11:06,291 --> 00:11:07,334 Aww. 307 00:11:07,459 --> 00:11:09,127 Oh, what is this? 308 00:11:09,252 --> 00:11:10,980 If there's one thing I hate, it's a whiny platoon. 309 00:11:11,004 --> 00:11:12,339 "We don't want to do push-ups! 310 00:11:12,464 --> 00:11:14,132 "We don't want to get up early! 311 00:11:14,257 --> 00:11:16,343 We don't want to have you take naked pictures of us!" 312 00:11:16,468 --> 00:11:17,844 Man, this guy sucks. 313 00:11:17,969 --> 00:11:20,138 Now, fall in and strip down, scouts! 314 00:11:22,349 --> 00:11:23,684 All right, scouts. 315 00:11:23,809 --> 00:11:24,351 We're gonna end this meeting. 316 00:11:24,476 --> 00:11:26,228 With a little puppet show. 317 00:11:26,353 --> 00:11:27,979 Here's a little scout. 318 00:11:28,105 --> 00:11:31,191 He's always prepared. He's always ready. 319 00:11:31,316 --> 00:11:33,819 Now, here's the little scout telling his parents 320 00:11:33,944 --> 00:11:36,238 that Mr. Grazier took naked pictures of him. 321 00:11:36,363 --> 00:11:37,363 Look what happens. 322 00:11:37,447 --> 00:11:40,367 Oh, no! Oh, oh! 323 00:11:41,827 --> 00:11:43,829 Do I make myself clear, scouts? 324 00:11:43,954 --> 00:11:45,205 Yes, scout master! 325 00:11:45,330 --> 00:11:47,040 Oh, hello, parents. 326 00:11:47,165 --> 00:11:49,102 All right, that's all the time we have for tonight, scouts. 327 00:11:49,126 --> 00:11:50,478 We sure had a great time, didn't we? 328 00:11:50,502 --> 00:11:52,713 Yes, sir, scout master! 329 00:11:52,838 --> 00:11:54,840 Wow, you sure whipped those kids into shape. 330 00:11:54,965 --> 00:11:56,883 Yeah, now they're acting like men. 331 00:11:57,008 --> 00:11:58,719 Well, you know what I say about kids: 332 00:11:58,844 --> 00:12:00,303 They're all pink on the inside. 333 00:12:00,429 --> 00:12:01,763 - You bet. - I heard that. 334 00:12:01,888 --> 00:12:03,473 See you, Mr. Grazier. 335 00:12:11,815 --> 00:12:13,275 Go away. I'm dead. 336 00:12:15,527 --> 00:12:16,903 Oh, well, here he is. 337 00:12:17,028 --> 00:12:17,904 Big Gay Al, what are you doing? 338 00:12:18,029 --> 00:12:19,698 Yeah, get your big gay ass off the couch 339 00:12:19,823 --> 00:12:21,092 and come be our scout master again! 340 00:12:21,116 --> 00:12:22,367 I can't, kids. 341 00:12:22,492 --> 00:12:24,077 I've been kicked out of scouts. 342 00:12:24,202 --> 00:12:25,829 Kicked out? Oh, no. 343 00:12:25,954 --> 00:12:28,099 But you have to come back. We hate our new scout leader. 344 00:12:28,123 --> 00:12:29,374 Really? Why? 345 00:12:29,499 --> 00:12:31,418 We can't tell you. 346 00:12:31,543 --> 00:12:33,211 Why not? 347 00:12:33,336 --> 00:12:36,631 Oh, no, no! Oh, no, no! Oh, no, no! 348 00:12:38,341 --> 00:12:39,676 Please, Big Gay Al, We don't want 349 00:12:39,801 --> 00:12:41,028 to go on a camp trip with this guy next week. 350 00:12:41,052 --> 00:12:43,138 Boys, there's nothing I can do. 351 00:12:43,263 --> 00:12:45,140 The scouts don't allow homosexuals. 352 00:12:45,265 --> 00:12:46,683 Well, then that settles it. 353 00:12:46,808 --> 00:12:48,168 Fellas, what we're gonna have to do 354 00:12:48,226 --> 00:12:51,730 is try to ch-change the scouts' rules, very much. 355 00:12:51,855 --> 00:12:53,774 - What do we want? - Gays in scouts! 356 00:12:53,899 --> 00:12:55,650 - When do we want it? - Timmy! 357 00:12:55,776 --> 00:12:57,277 - What do we want? - Gays in scouts! 358 00:12:57,402 --> 00:12:58,737 - When do we want it? - Timmy! 359 00:12:58,862 --> 00:13:00,989 Oh, no. 360 00:13:05,702 --> 00:13:07,287 - What do we want? - Gays in scouts! 361 00:13:07,412 --> 00:13:08,789 - When do we want it? - Timmy! 362 00:13:08,914 --> 00:13:10,099 Alright, this looks like the perfect place 363 00:13:10,123 --> 00:13:11,291 to get some signatures. 364 00:13:11,416 --> 00:13:12,876 Puppies. Puppies for sale. 365 00:13:13,001 --> 00:13:14,419 Beat it, toots. 366 00:13:14,544 --> 00:13:15,420 We got discrimination work to do. 367 00:13:15,545 --> 00:13:16,713 Alright, let's set up. 368 00:13:16,838 --> 00:13:18,590 Hi, we're here to collect signatures 369 00:13:18,715 --> 00:13:20,884 in support to force the scouts to accept gays. 370 00:13:21,009 --> 00:13:22,844 Uh, hello? Gays in scouts? 371 00:13:22,969 --> 00:13:23,969 God damn it. 372 00:13:24,054 --> 00:13:25,072 Hey! Why don't we have Jimmy 373 00:13:25,096 --> 00:13:26,389 do some stand-up comedy? 374 00:13:26,515 --> 00:13:27,849 Like at our bake sale, very much? 375 00:13:27,974 --> 00:13:29,017 That's a great idea. 376 00:13:29,142 --> 00:13:30,644 Attention, Ladies and Gentlemen... 377 00:13:30,769 --> 00:13:32,771 Now for your entertainment, stand-up comic Jimmy! 378 00:13:32,896 --> 00:13:34,940 Wow, what a great audience. 379 00:13:35,065 --> 00:13:37,442 For my first joke, I'm gonna need a volunteer. 380 00:13:37,567 --> 00:13:38,735 Come on up here, Tim-Tim. 381 00:13:41,446 --> 00:13:43,573 Timmy, when I tell you to do something, you do it. 382 00:13:43,698 --> 00:13:44,866 Timmy! 383 00:13:44,991 --> 00:13:46,351 Timmy, don't make me kick your ass. 384 00:13:46,451 --> 00:13:47,994 - Timmy! - Put on your hat! 385 00:13:48,119 --> 00:13:50,372 - Timmy! - P-put it on! 386 00:13:50,497 --> 00:13:52,082 Dude, this looks like it could get ugly. 387 00:13:54,668 --> 00:13:56,837 Timmy. Timmy. 388 00:13:56,962 --> 00:13:59,923 Not this year. 389 00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:03,593 Timmy, Timmy. 390 00:14:04,970 --> 00:14:06,930 Cripple fight! 391 00:14:08,515 --> 00:14:11,142 Come on. Come on! 392 00:14:13,937 --> 00:14:14,938 Timmy. 393 00:14:24,447 --> 00:14:27,534 Cripple fight! 394 00:14:28,702 --> 00:14:30,579 Attention, shoppers... 395 00:14:30,704 --> 00:14:32,998 Outside today, we have cripple fight. 396 00:14:33,123 --> 00:14:34,123 Cripple fight outside. 397 00:14:48,013 --> 00:14:49,931 Jesus Christ, dude. 398 00:14:50,056 --> 00:14:51,683 Oh my God! 399 00:14:51,808 --> 00:14:52,994 Just let 'em have it out, Susan. 400 00:14:53,018 --> 00:14:54,178 They'll run out of steam soon. 401 00:14:57,522 --> 00:14:58,899 Hel-lo, Timmy. 402 00:14:59,024 --> 00:15:00,483 Hel-lo, Timmy! 403 00:15:00,609 --> 00:15:01,693 - Timmy! - No! 404 00:15:17,584 --> 00:15:19,544 Timmy? 405 00:15:19,669 --> 00:15:21,421 Timmy... 406 00:15:21,546 --> 00:15:24,633 I told you, put on the hat! 407 00:15:31,890 --> 00:15:34,017 You dirty motherfucker. 408 00:15:38,605 --> 00:15:40,440 What's going on? 409 00:15:40,565 --> 00:15:42,025 Some kind of gay pride rally. 410 00:16:27,946 --> 00:16:28,946 Timmy! 411 00:16:37,414 --> 00:16:39,708 Tom, I'm standing out front of Henry's Supermarket, 412 00:16:39,833 --> 00:16:42,002 where five brave little boys are holding a rally 413 00:16:42,127 --> 00:16:44,379 to support gays in scouting. 414 00:16:44,504 --> 00:16:46,506 The rally is drawing so much attention 415 00:16:46,631 --> 00:16:47,984 that people from all over the country 416 00:16:48,008 --> 00:16:49,509 are taking media notice. 417 00:16:49,634 --> 00:16:51,511 Those boys have shown me the light. 418 00:16:51,636 --> 00:16:53,680 I never knew the Mountain Scouts was a hate group. 419 00:16:53,805 --> 00:16:55,890 This is a wake-up call to America. 420 00:16:56,016 --> 00:16:58,476 We cannot turn our backs on gays anymore. 421 00:16:58,601 --> 00:17:00,562 Oh, God, they're actually pulling it off. 422 00:17:00,687 --> 00:17:02,605 The rally has also caught the attention 423 00:17:02,731 --> 00:17:05,358 of old scouts members like Steven Spielberg, 424 00:17:05,483 --> 00:17:08,319 director of such films as Always and 1941. 425 00:17:08,445 --> 00:17:10,697 I salute those boys and their courage. 426 00:17:10,822 --> 00:17:13,825 I am hereby cutting all my funding to the scouts. 427 00:17:13,950 --> 00:17:15,493 The rally has also caught the attention 428 00:17:15,618 --> 00:17:17,829 of high-power lawyer Gloria Allred. 429 00:17:17,954 --> 00:17:19,998 It is a disgrace that these homophobes 430 00:17:20,123 --> 00:17:21,916 are allowed to discriminate! 431 00:17:22,042 --> 00:17:24,461 I am taking this case on personally! 432 00:17:24,586 --> 00:17:25,879 With this kind of support, Tom, 433 00:17:26,004 --> 00:17:27,964 these boys are sure to have a victory for gays. 434 00:17:28,089 --> 00:17:28,965 Back to you. 435 00:17:29,090 --> 00:17:30,633 Thanks, Chris. 436 00:17:30,759 --> 00:17:32,719 In other news, the FBI has finally caught 437 00:17:32,844 --> 00:17:35,513 the child molester known as Mr. Slippy Fist. 438 00:17:35,638 --> 00:17:37,390 The sick child molester was found 439 00:17:37,515 --> 00:17:40,268 with disturbing, graphic photos of young boys naked, 440 00:17:40,393 --> 00:17:41,561 which we will show you now. 441 00:17:41,686 --> 00:17:43,938 "Here's one. And here's another. 442 00:17:44,064 --> 00:17:45,690 - Eddie? - Oh, my God. 443 00:17:45,815 --> 00:17:47,984 "Here, look at this one. Sick son of a bitch. 444 00:17:48,109 --> 00:17:49,109 There's one right here." 445 00:17:51,529 --> 00:17:52,572 Oh, yeah! 446 00:18:01,873 --> 00:18:02,873 Timmy! 447 00:18:15,553 --> 00:18:17,180 All right, boys. Break it up. 448 00:18:23,353 --> 00:18:25,563 All rise. 449 00:18:25,688 --> 00:18:29,234 In the case of Big Gay Al vs. Mountain Scouts of America, 450 00:18:29,359 --> 00:18:31,903 due to the overwhelming show of support, 451 00:18:32,028 --> 00:18:35,198 it is the ruling of this court that the scouts must allow. 452 00:18:35,323 --> 00:18:37,992 Big Gay Al and all gays into their club. 453 00:18:38,118 --> 00:18:40,161 Alright! 454 00:18:40,286 --> 00:18:42,956 Well, we've all learned an important lesson, 455 00:18:43,081 --> 00:18:44,457 That just because somebody's gay 456 00:18:44,582 --> 00:18:46,292 doesn't mean they're gonna molest children. 457 00:18:46,417 --> 00:18:47,537 Straight people do that, too. 458 00:18:49,337 --> 00:18:51,965 And furthermore, the scout elders 459 00:18:52,090 --> 00:18:54,092 will be put into stocks for three days 460 00:18:54,217 --> 00:18:56,136 so they can see how it feels to be outcasts. 461 00:18:57,720 --> 00:18:59,222 We did it! We did it! 462 00:18:59,347 --> 00:19:02,267 I did it! I did it! 463 00:19:04,269 --> 00:19:06,938 Today is a great day for democracy. 464 00:19:07,063 --> 00:19:08,606 The scouts have been exposed 465 00:19:08,731 --> 00:19:11,067 for the vile gay bashers they are! 466 00:19:11,192 --> 00:19:13,153 And we owe it all to me, 467 00:19:13,278 --> 00:19:15,530 and these six brave little boys. 468 00:19:16,781 --> 00:19:19,367 Five brave little boys. 469 00:19:19,492 --> 00:19:22,078 And now, here to take his official oath 470 00:19:22,203 --> 00:19:25,206 back into scouts, is Big Gay Al. 471 00:19:25,331 --> 00:19:27,959 Thank you all very much. 472 00:19:28,084 --> 00:19:29,669 But I don't want this. 473 00:19:29,794 --> 00:19:31,504 What'd he say? 474 00:19:31,629 --> 00:19:34,174 Look, I appreciate what you kids did. 475 00:19:34,299 --> 00:19:35,300 I really do. 476 00:19:35,425 --> 00:19:36,485 But this isn't what I wanted. 477 00:19:36,509 --> 00:19:38,344 I'm proud to be gay. 478 00:19:38,469 --> 00:19:39,709 And I'm proud to be in a country 479 00:19:39,804 --> 00:19:41,514 where I'm free to express myself. 480 00:19:41,639 --> 00:19:43,558 But freedom is a two-way street. 481 00:19:43,683 --> 00:19:45,935 If I'm free to express myself, 482 00:19:46,060 --> 00:19:49,480 then the scouts have to be free to express themselves, too. 483 00:19:49,606 --> 00:19:51,232 I know these men. 484 00:19:51,357 --> 00:19:53,985 They are good men. They are kind men. 485 00:19:54,110 --> 00:19:56,279 They do what they think is best for kids. 486 00:19:56,404 --> 00:19:58,531 No matter how wrong we think they might be, 487 00:19:58,656 --> 00:20:01,659 it isn't right for us to force them to think our way. 488 00:20:01,784 --> 00:20:04,662 It's up to us to persuade and help them see the light, 489 00:20:04,787 --> 00:20:06,539 not extort them to. 490 00:20:06,664 --> 00:20:09,000 Please, don't cut the scouts' funding. 491 00:20:09,125 --> 00:20:11,103 The scouts help and have always helped a lot of kids. 492 00:20:11,127 --> 00:20:12,420 That's why I love them. 493 00:20:12,545 --> 00:20:15,256 I will continue to persuade them to change their minds, 494 00:20:15,381 --> 00:20:17,342 but this is the wrong way to do it. 495 00:20:17,467 --> 00:20:21,054 So I am hereby dropping my case 496 00:20:21,179 --> 00:20:22,639 and allowing the scouts their right 497 00:20:22,764 --> 00:20:25,266 to not allow gays into their private club. 498 00:20:26,643 --> 00:20:28,061 - Hooray! - Hooray! 499 00:20:28,186 --> 00:20:30,230 So wait. Did we do good? 500 00:20:30,355 --> 00:20:31,731 Yeah, I think so. 501 00:20:31,856 --> 00:20:33,274 Yeah, we kick ass. 502 00:20:33,399 --> 00:20:35,401 Come on, kids. Let's go get some ice cream. 503 00:20:35,526 --> 00:20:38,363 You can't do this! You homophobe! 504 00:20:38,488 --> 00:20:39,989 Well, Timmy, I guess we learned 505 00:20:40,114 --> 00:20:41,474 an important lesson too, very much. 506 00:20:41,532 --> 00:20:42,951 There is room for more than one 507 00:20:43,076 --> 00:20:44,327 handi-capable person in scouts. 508 00:20:44,452 --> 00:20:45,954 Timmy. 509 00:20:46,079 --> 00:20:46,955 I'm glad we're best friends now. 510 00:20:47,080 --> 00:20:49,791 - See you at scouts. - Timmy. 511 00:20:53,461 --> 00:20:56,047 Timmy, Timmy, Timmy, Timmy. 512 00:20:56,172 --> 00:20:58,049 Timmy, Timmy, Timmy. 513 00:20:58,174 --> 00:21:00,593 Timmy, Timmy, Timmy, Timmy. 514 00:21:00,718 --> 00:21:02,095 Timmy, Timmy, Timmy, Timmy, Timmy. 515 00:21:03,221 --> 00:21:04,264 Dude, Timmy, come on. 516 00:21:04,389 --> 00:21:05,589 We're gonna be late for scouts. 517 00:21:07,725 --> 00:21:10,478 Alright, boys. I am your new scout leader. 518 00:21:10,603 --> 00:21:12,605 Everything is going to be just fine. 519 00:21:12,730 --> 00:21:14,440 No naked pictures. 520 00:21:14,565 --> 00:21:15,441 Uh, Timmy? 521 00:21:15,566 --> 00:21:17,568 Yes, Timmy? 522 00:21:17,694 --> 00:21:18,945 Oh, dear. 523 00:21:19,070 --> 00:21:20,280 - Jimmy? - Yes? 524 00:21:20,405 --> 00:21:21,614 You know our policy. 525 00:21:21,739 --> 00:21:23,992 I'm afraid you're out of scouts. 526 00:21:24,117 --> 00:21:25,117 Out of scouts? 527 00:21:27,412 --> 00:21:28,454 Timmy. 528 00:21:28,579 --> 00:21:30,039 What? 529 00:21:30,164 --> 00:21:31,183 Hey, wait a minute. This is crazy. 530 00:21:31,207 --> 00:21:32,292 You can't do this. 531 00:21:32,417 --> 00:21:33,960 Wow, I never knew Jimmy was gay. 532 00:21:34,085 --> 00:21:34,961 Me, neither. 533 00:21:35,086 --> 00:21:36,546 No! No! 534 00:21:36,671 --> 00:21:37,671 Timmy! 35234

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.