All language subtitles for Before Sunset (2004).en

A Team Nanban (594mgnav) Release

[julie delpy's
"an ocean apart" playing]

♪ now we are together ♪

♪ sitting outside
in the sunshine ♪

♪ but soon ♪

♪ we'll be apart ♪

♪ and soon ♪

♪ it'll be night in bloom ♪

♪ now things are fine ♪

♪ the clouds are far away
up in the sky ♪

♪ but soon ♪

♪ I'll be on a plane ♪

♪ and soon ♪

♪ you'll feel the cold rain ♪

♪ you promised
to stay in touch ♪

♪ when we're apart ♪

♪ you promised
before I left ♪

♪ that you'll always love me ♪

♪ time goes by, and people cry ♪

♪ and everything
goes too fast ♪

Woman:
do you consider the book

To be autobiographical?

Mm-hmm. Um, well, I mean...

Isn't everything
autobiographical?

I mean, we all see the world

Through our own...
Tiny keyhole, right?

I mean, I always think
of thomas wolfe.

You know, have you
ever seen that--

That little one-page
"note to reader"

In the front of
look homeward, angel.

Right? You know
what'm talking about?

Anyway, h-he says that

We are the sum
of all the moments of our lives,

And that anybody
who sits down to write

Is gonna use the clay
of their own life,

That you can't avoid that.

So when I look at my own life,
you know,

I have to admit, right,
that I've--

I've never been around
a bunch of guns, or violence,

You know, not really.

No...Political intrigue,
or helicopter crash, right,

But my life,

From my own point of view,
has been full of drama, right?

And, uh, so I thought
if I could write a book that...

That could capture
what it's like

To really meet somebody.

I mean, one of the most
exciting things

That's ever
happened to me, right,

Is to really meet somebody,

Make that connection,
and if I could...

Make that valuable,
you know, to capture that,

That would be
the attempt, or...

Did I answer your question?
I...

I'll try to be more specific.

Okay.
Okay.

Were there ever
a french young woman on a train,

You met
and spent an evening with?

Ahhh...

Um...

See, to me, that...

I mean, uh...

That's not important,
you know?

Woman:
so that's a yes.

All right,
since I'm in France,

And this is the last stop
of my book tour,

Yes.

[crowd laughing]

Thank you.

Mr. Wallace, um,

The book ends
on an ambiguous note.

We don't know.

D-do you think they get
back together

In six months

Like they promise each other?

Jesse:
like they promised? Um...

I think I answered that.

You know? It's a--

It's a good test, right,

If you're a romantic
or a cynic.

Right? I mean,

You think-- you think
they get back together, right?

You don't, for sure.
No.

And you hope they do,
but, you know, you're not sure.

That's why you're
asking the question.

And-- and do you think
they get back together?

I mean, did you
in real life?

[sighs]

Did I in real--?

[man laughs]

Look, in the words
of my grandfather, okay,

"to answer that...

Would take the piss
out of the whole thing."

Oh, no.
[speaks french]

We just have
the time

For one last question, hmm?

What--?

What is your next book?

Uh...

I don't know, man.

I don't know.

I've been...

I've been thinking about this--

Well, I always
kind of wanted to write a book

That all took place
within the space of a pop song.

You know,
like three or four minutes long,

The whole thing.

The story, the idea,
is that there's this guy,

All right, and...

He's totally depressed.

I mean, his great dream

Was to be a lover,
an adventurer,

You know, riding motorcycles
through south america,

And instead, he's sitting at
a marble table, eating lobster,

And he's got a good job
and a beautiful wife, right.

But-- you know,
everything that he needs...

But that d-- doesn't matter,

Because what he wants...

Is to fight for meaning,
you know?

I mean, happiness
is in the doing, right?

Not in the getting
what you want.

So he's sitting there,

And just that second,

His little 5-year-old daughter
hops up on the table,

And he knows
that she should get down,

Because she could get hurt.

But she's dancing
to this pop song

In a summer dress,

And he looks down,

And all of a sudden,

He's 16...

And his high-school sweetheart
is dropping him off at home.

And they just lost
their virginity,

And she loves him,

And the same song
is playing on the car radio.

And she climbs up

And starts dancing
on the roof of the car,

And now-- now
he's worried about her.

And she's beautiful, with a...

A facial expression, you know,
just like his daughter's.

In fact, you know, maybe
that's why he even likes her.

You know, I mean, see...

He knows he's not
remembering this dance.

He's there.
He's there in--

In both moments,
simultaneously,

And just, like, for an instant,
all his life is just

Folding in on itself,

And it's obvious
to him that time is a lie.

Uh...

That it's all happening
all the time,

And inside every moment
is another moment, all...

You know,
happening simultaneously.

And, anyway, that's--
that's kind of the idea.

Anyway.

Well, our author

Has to be going
to the airport soon,

So thank you all very much

For coming over
this afternoon...

And a special thanks
to mr. Wallace

For being with us.

[applause]
thank you. Thank you.

We hope to see you

Here again with
your next book.

[speaking in french]

Thank you all.

How much longer

Before I have to
go to the airport?

Oh, you should
leave at 7:30.

Er, 7:30 at
the very latest, hmm?

Okay. Okay.

[people speaking in french]

Hi.

Hello.

[both chuckle]

How are you?

Good, and you?
Um...

I'm good. Yeah,
I'm great. I'm, uh...

Do you wanna maybe
get a cup of coffee?

Didn't he just say
you have a plane to catch?

Uh...

Yeah...

But, um, I mean,
I have a little time.

Okay.

Yeah? All right,
well, let me...

I'll meet you outside. Okay.

Jesse:
excuse me.

I'm just gonna go out
and get a cup of coffee.

I'll be back at 7:15.
Did you sign all these?

Um, yeah, I sure did.

Well, get your
driver philippe's card

So that you can
call his cell phone

If you're running late.
All right.

And we'll put
your bags in the car

So you're not late
going to the airport.

All right,
thanks for everything.

Thank you.

Merci beaucoup, mademoiselle.

Excusez-moi.

Which one's philippe?

[manager speaking french]

I--
[laughs]

I can't believe
you're here.

Well, I live here
in paris.

Wow. Um...

Are you sure
you don't have to stay?

You're not supposed
to talk some more?

No, no. They're sick of me.

I spent the night here
last night.

Oh, you did?
Yeah, yeah.

They got a loft
upstairs.

Oh, wow.

Anyway, how are you?
This is so weird.

I'm fine. It's...
[laughs]

It's good
to see you.

It's good to see you.

So, you want to go to a café?
Uh, yeah.

Okay. There's one
a little further...

Okay.
That I like.

I thought I was gonna
totally lose it in there

When I first saw you. I--

I mean, how'd you even
know I was gonna be here?

Well, it's my favorite
bookstore in paris.

I-- you can sit down for hours
and read. I love it.

[accordion playing
romantic music]

There's fleas, but, you know.
I know, I know.

I think a cat slept
on my head lasnight.

So I saw your picture
on the calendar

About a month ago,
yeah.

And that you were
going to be here.

It's funny, because I read
an article on your book,

Uh-huh.
And...

It sounded
vaguely familiar.

Vaguely? Yeah.
Yes.

[chuckles]
[laughs]

But I didn't put it
all together

Until I saw
your photo, so...

Did you...Have
a chance to read it?

Yes, I, um...

I was really,
really surprised,

As you can imagine.
I mean...

I had to read it
twice, actually.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Comme ci comme ça?

No, I liked it!
Yeah?

It's very romantic.

I usually
don't like that,

But it's really
well-written.

It's really well-written.
No, no. All right.

No, I really--
congratulations.

Thank you. Thank you.

Wait.
What?

Before we go anywhere,
I have, um...

I have to ask you...

Sure, what?

Did you show up in vienna
that December?

Oh...

Uh... Did you?

No, I couldn't,
but did you?

I need to know.
It's important to me.

Why, if you didn't?

Well, did you?

No.

Oh!

Oh, thank god,
you didn't.

Well, thank god, you didn't.
Oh, my god.

I mean, thank god,
I didn't, and you didn't.

If only one of us
had showed up there, alone,

I know.
Then that would've sucked.

I know. I was
so concerned with that.

I always felt horrible
about not being there,

But I couldn't.

You know, my grandma
died a few days before,

And she was buried
that day, December 16th.

That day.
She died, the one in budapest?

Yes. You remember that?

Yeah, I remember
everything.

Of course,
it was in your book.

I know, so...

But anyway, I was about
to fly to vienna,

You know, and I--

And we heard
the news about her,

And, of course, I had
to go to the funeral

With my parents.
Yeah, well,

I'm sorry
to hear that.

I know...

But you weren't
there, anyway.

Wait.

Why weren't you there?

I would've been there
if I could've.

I made plans and...

Wait.

You better have
a good reason.

What?

Oh. No.

No, you were there,
weren't you?

Oh, no.

[laughing]
oh, that's terrible!

I know I'm laughing,
but I don't mean it.

Did you hate me?
You must've hated me.

Have you been hating me
all this time? You have.

No.
Yes, you have.

No, no.
Oh, but you can't
hate me now, right?

I don't--
my grandma--

I don't hate you,
all right? Come on.

It's no big deal,
all right?

I flew all the way
over there.

You blew the thing off,

And my life's been
a big nosedive since then,

But I mean,
it's not a problem.

You can't say that.
I'm kidding.

Oh, I can't
believe it!

You must have been
so angry with me.

I'm so sorry.

I really wanted
to be there

More than anything
in the world.

I swear.
Honestly. I swear--

You can't be angry now--
my grandmother.

No, I know. I know.
I honestly thought

That something like that
might've happened.

I was definitely bummed,
[sighs]

But...Mostly,
I was just mad

We hadn't exchanged
any phone numbers

Or any information.
I know.

I know.
That was so stupid.

No way to get in touch.
We had nothing to go on.

I didn't know
your last name, nothing.

I know, I know. Remember,
we were both afraid

That if we started
writing and calling,

That it would slowly...
You know, fade out.

Yeah, it definitely
wasn't a slow fade.

No, it sure wasn't.
[laughs]

I know, we wanted to
pick it up where we left off.

Which would've been fine
if it had worked.

Yes, a good idea. Yep.
Oh, well.

[sighs]

So...
So...

How long were you
in vienna, then?

Eh, just a couple days.

Did you meet
another girl?

Uh, yeah.

Her name was gretchen,

And she was amazing.
You did?

Yeah, the book's really
a composite of the two of you.

Really? Oh, no.
No, I'm kidding.

You wouldn't believe it.

I even went back
to the train station.

I put up signs, you know,
of my number at the hotel

Oh...
In case you'd been delayed.

I was a total dork.

Let's go this way.
Did you get any calls?

Just a couple hookers
looking for a gig, you know.

No,
it was awful.

I mean, what do you
want me to say? Like...

Oh, that's so sad.
I'm so sorry.

I walked around
for a couple days.

Eventually, I flew home.

I owed my dad 2000 bucks.

Who had warned me about
french chicks, I have to say.

What did he tell you
about french women?

Nothing, the guy--

He's never met any french women.
Okay.

He's never been east
of the mississippi.

So why didn't you put
that six months later

The french bitch
didn't show up?

No, but I did. I did.

You did? No.
Yeah, no--

I mean, I made it
more hopeful.

I-- I wrote this
whole fictional version

Where you actually
do show up.

Oh, what happens?

Well, um...

What?
Uh, we--

We make love
for about 10 days straight.

That's one part of it.

Oh, that's interesting.
So the french slut, right?

Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, okay, great. Okay.

It's just then,
you know, they--

They start to get to
know each other better,

And they realize that
they don't get along at all.

Oh, I like that.
It's more real.

Yeah, well, my editor
didn't think that way.

No, everyone wants
to believe in love.

It sells, right?
Yeah, exactly, so...

So things are going well
for you, right?

I mean, your book
is a best-seller in the u.S.

Yeah-- er, it's
a tiny best-seller.

Oh, come on.
No, uh--

All right. Yeah, right,
officially, yes,

But most people haven't read
moby dick, you know,

So why should
they read my book?

I haven't read moby dick,
and I liked your book, so...

Oh. Thanks.
I mean--

Even though...
[chuckles]

I thought you idealized
the night of it.

Oh. Come on.

It's officially
fiction, right?

No, no.
I mean, I'm supposed to...

I know. I know,
I thought, you know,

There were times
where you made me--

[gasps]
what?

Well, I mean,
"her," right?

No, "me."

Okay, whatever.

Uh, a little bit neurotic.

All right. But you are a little
bit like that, aren't you?

You think I'm neurotic?
No. No, no.

No. Come on,
I'm kidding.

Where did I do that?
I didn't do that.

Well, maybe it's just me.

You know, um...
Reading something,

Knowing that the character
in the story is based on you,

It's both...Flattering
and disturbing at the same time.

Yeah? H-how is
it disturbing?

I don't know.

Um, just being part of
someone else's memory.

Seeing myself
through your eyes.

How long did it
take you to write it?

Um... Uh...

Three or four years,
on and off.

Wow, that's
a really long time

To be writing
about one night.

Yeah, I know.
Tell me about it.

[groans]

I always assumed
you had forgotten me.

[chuckles]

No, I had a pretty clear picture
of you in my mind.

I have to tell you
something.

I just--
what?

I've wanted to
talk to you for so long.

But now--
yeah, me too.

It's just surreal.
I know, I know.

I feel like everything
out of my mouth should be--

How long do we have?
Twenty minutes and 30 seconds?

Let's go.
No, we got more than that.

I want to know about you.
Tell me, what are you doing?

You know,
what are you up to?

Uh... Where to start?
I, uh...

I work for green cross.

It's an environmental
organization.

Yeah, what are
they all about?

Well, we basically work

On different
environment issues,

From clean water
right.

To disarmament
of chemical weapons.

You know,
international laws

That deal
with the environment.

And wh-what do you
do for them?

We're going this way.
Oh.

Uh... Different things.

Like, last year I was in india
for quite a while,

Working on
a water-treatment plant.

Wow!

Yeah, well,
the cotton industry there

Is a major source
of pollution. So...

I mean, itust sounds
like you're actually

Doing something,
you know?

I mean, most people,
myself included,

Just sit around
and bitch.

America's consuming
all the world's resources,

Yep.
Suvs suck,

Global warming is real.

You know, I'm really
relieved to hear

You're not one of those

"freedom fries"
kind of americans.

Yeah, well...
Hey, you know...

But how'd you
get into that?

Ah, I came out
of political science,

And I was hoping to work
for the government,

And I did
for a little while.

Ugh. Terrible.
Not good?

Yeah, no. Anyway,
I got really tired--

Let's go this way.

--of having this endless
conversation with friends

About how the world
was falling to pieces,

So I decided
what I really wanted to do

Was to find things
that could be fixed

And try to fix them,
you know?

Yeah, you know, I just--
well...

I've always thought you'd be
doing something cool like that.

I did. I...

Thanks.
I just--

I just feel really...

Really lucky to be doing
a job I like, you know?

Yeah.

You know,
I actually alternated

Between thinking that,
you know,

Everything is
irrevocably screwed up,

And that things might be
getting better in some ways.

Better? How could you
possibly say that?

Well, I just mean,
you know, like...

I mean, I know
it sounds weird,

But there are things
to be optimistic about.

Okay.

Um, I know your book is selling,
which is great.

I'm very happy for you,
I--

But let me break
the news to you, okay?

The world is a mess right now.
I'm not--

I wasn't--
from a western point of view,

Things are getting
a bit better, okay.

We're moving all our industry
to developing nations

I know--
where we can get cheap labor

Free of any
environmental laws, okay.

The weapon industry
is booming.

Five million people
die every year

From preventable water diseases.
Right. I know. I--

So how is the world
getting any better?

I'm not getting angry,
but come on, I want to know.

I'm interested.
Okay. Okay.

I realize...
[sighs]

That there are a lot of
serious problems in the world.

Okay, thank you.
Okay?

I mean, I don't
even have one publisher

In the whole asian market.

Okay. All right.
[laughs]

Say "stop."
what, what?

Stop.
Ohhh!

No, look, all I'm saying

Is there's more awareness
out there, right?

People are gonna fight back,

Okay.
You know? I mean--

I mean, I think the world
might be getting better

Because people like you
are educated and speaking out.

Even the very notion
of conservation

And environmental issues,
yeah.

Those weren't even
in the vocabulary

Until fairly recently,
you know?

And they're becoming
the norm,

And eventually,
might be what's expected

All over the world,
you'd think.

I agree with
what you're saying,

But at the same time,
it's dangerous.

An imperialist country

Can use that kind
of thinking

To justify
their economic greed.

Yeah.
You know, hu-- human rights--

Is there any particular
imperialist country

You have in mind
there, frenchie?

Hmm. No, not really.

No?
Mm-mmm.

Bonsoir.

Bonsoir.

[sighs]

So you want
to sit over there?

Yeah, all this is perfect.

Oh, wow.

Maybe what I'm saying is,
is the world might be

Evolving the way
a person evolves, right?

Mm-hmmm.
Like, I mean, me, for example.

Am I getting worse?

Am I improving?

I don't know.

When I was younger...
I was healthier,

But I was, uh, wracked
with insecurity, you know?

Now I'm older,
and my problems are deeper,

But I'm more equipped
to handle them.

So, what are
your problems?

Right now...

I don't have any.

I don't, you know?

I'm just...
[inhales]

Damn happy to be here.

Me too.

So how long have you
been in paris?

I got in last night. I've done
10 cities in 12 days, and I'm...

I'm wrecked. I'm so glad
it's over, you know?

I'm tired of being
a huckster.

Hello.

[speaks french]

What do you want?

Um... A cup of coffee.

[speaks french]

[sighs]

God, I love this café.

I wish they had places
like this in the u.S.

Yeah, I missed cafés
when I was living over there.

I mean, I find a few places
I really liked,

But there was--
wait, you--

You were living in the u.S.?

Yes, from, uh,
'96 to '99.

I was studying at nyu.

Oh, god!

Don't tell me that, celine.

What?
No. No, it's just...

Nothing. I mean, I--
what?

I've been living in new york
since '98, you know?

We were there at the same time.

In new york?
Yeah.

Wow, that's weird.

It actually crossed my mind
a few times

That I might run into you,

But the odds are so
slim, right? So...

I didn't even know
what city you were living in.

Weren't you
somewhere in texas?

Point, texas.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Definitely.

I just--
I was for a long time.

I just...You know,
wanted to try new york.

Hmmm. Wow.

What brought you
back here?

Uh... I had finished
my master's, for one,

And no visa,
no more visa.

And anyway, I was
starting to get paranoid.

All the violence
in the medias,

Gang violence, murders,
oh, yeah. Right.

Especially
serial killers.

[laughs]

But the final straw was

One night I heard some noise
on my fire escape,

So I called 911,

And the cops came
eventually.

Yeah, three hours later.
Yeah, after I'd been...

Raped and killed
about three times.

[laughs]

No, but-- it was a man
and a woman officer,

And I was explaining to them
what I had heard

When the woman
had to run downstairs

To move the police car,

So I was left alone
with the male cop,

And right away he asked me
if I had a gun,

And I said,
"no, of course not. I..."

And he told me,

"well, you'd better think
about getting one.

This is america,
not France."

Okay? And I said to him,
you know,

"I have no idea
how to shoot a gun,

And I have no interest
in firearms whatsoever,"

And that's when he pulled out
his gun like this:

And he went,
"well, one day...

"you're gonna have something
like this in your face,

"and if you wanna have
a long life...

You're gonna have to choose
between you or them."

And then they left.

And the next morning,

I called for an application
to get a gun.

[laughs]
me, with a gun.

I mean,
that's really scary.

But then I realized
something was wrong.

The way that cop
had pulled his gun out,

And everything, right?
Yeah, sure.

So I cancelled
my demand for the gun,

And I called
the police station

And tried to complain
about that cop's behavior, but--

What happened with that?

It was so much paperwork.

[laughs]
and then I got

Scared with my shitty
student visa.

Yeah, he thought
you'd get deported?

Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.

So I gave up, and I forgot about
the whole thing.

Well, I guess
I never forgot.

Well, obviously.
I'll get through.

Yeah.
[chuckles]

But still, you know,
[sighs]

I really enjoyed
being there.

There's a lot of things
I miss about the u.S.

Yeah, like what?
Um...

Well...

The overall good mood
people have there,

Like, you know, even if
it can be bullshit sometimes.

Like, "how you doing?"

"great, how you doing?"
"great!"

[laughs]
"have a great day!"

I don't know.

Parisians can be so grumpy,
have you noticed?

Mmm... No, everybody seems
no?

Pretty happy to me.

Mmm. They're not happy.

They're not happy?
Nnnn-- no.

[both laugh]

No, they are.
I don't know, really.

I just mean french men.
They drive me nuts.

What is it?
What about them?

Well, they're very nice.
They--

They're great, you know,
to be around.

They love food, wine.

They're great cooks,
but I don't know,

Maybe I've-- I've had
really bad luck with them.

Well, why,
what do you mean?

Um, well.

I guess
they're not as...

What?
What's the word?

Um...

Horny?
[laughs]

They're not as horny.
Horny?

All right, now, wait.
Now listen to me on this one.

All right, in that regard,
I am proud to be an american.

And you should be,
in that regard only.

Merci.

Have you ever spent some time
in eastern europe?

Eastern--? No. I don't--

No?
Thank you.

I remember as a teenager
I went to warsaw

When it was still
a strict communist regime--

Which I don't
approve of at all.

Oh, yeah, sure you do.

No, I don't.
No, I was just kidding.

But anyway,
something about being there

Was very interesting,
I found.

After a couple of weeks,
something changed in me.

The city was
quite gloomy and gray, and...

But after a while,
my brain seemed clearer.

I was writing a lot more
in my journal,

Ideas I'd never
thought of before--

Communist ideas?

Listen, I am not
a communist. No.

Sorry, I can't--
well, okay.

Go on.

Okay.
[both laugh]

I'll send you to a gulag.
Okay.

No, well, it took me a while
to figure out

Why I felt, you know,
so different.

And then one day,

As I was walking through
the jewish cemetery,

I don't know why,
but it occurred to me there,

I realized that I had spent
the last two weeks

Away from most of my habits.

Tv was in a language
I didn't understand.

There was nothing to buy.

No advertisements anywhere.

So all I'd been doing
was...

Walk around, think
and write.

My brain felt like
it was at rest,

Free from
the "consuming" frenzy.

And I have to say, it was
almost like a natural high.

I felt so peaceful
inside.

No strange urge
to be somewhere else,

To shop...
Mm-hmm.

Maybe it could have seemed
like boredom at first,

But it quickly became
very, very soulful.

Hmm.

It was interesting,
you know?

Can you believe
it was nine years ago

That we were
walking around vienna?

Nine years?

No, that's impossible.
Nine. I was.

I know, it feels
like two months ago to me,

But it was summer '94.

Mm-hmm.

Do I look any different?

I do?

I'd have to see you naked.

What?!
I know, I'm sorry.

[both laugh]

No, your hair was
different back then.

It was like...
Well, it's the same--

Yeah, take it down.
Let's see.

Down. It was down, okay.

Yeah.

Well? Voilà.

So?

Well...
Okay, come on. Tell me.

Uh...

Skinnier, I think.
Little thinner.

Did you think
I was fat before?

No.
[laughs]

Yeah, you thought
I was a fatty.

No, you thought
I was a fatty!

Yeah, you wrote a book
about a fat french girl.

No, listen.
Oh, no...

Seriously, all right,
you look beautiful.

Do I look any different?

No.
Mmm?

Not at all.

Oh. Actually,
you have this line.

I know.

It's like a scar.

A scar?

What, like a gunshot wound?
[laughs]

No, no, no, I like it.
I'm sorry.

I had this...Funny--

Well...Horrible dream
the other day. Um...

I was having
this awful nightmare

That I was 32,
really?

And then I woke up,
and I was 23.

So relieved.
Right.

And then I woke up for real,
and I was 32.

Shit. I know.
Scary.

It happens.

Yeah, time goes
faster and faster.

Apparently,
it's because we don't

Renew our synapses after 20,
so it's pretty much

Downhill from then on. Oh, well.
Yeah.

[laughs]

I like getting older,
you know?

Life feels...

I don't know,

It feels more immediate.
Mm-hmm.

You know, like,
I can appreciate things more.

No, me too, actually.

I-- I really love it.

I was once a...

A drummer in a band.

You were?
Yeah.

We were pretty good, actually.
Wow.

Mm-hmm.
But the lead singer guy,

He was just so obsessed with us
getting a record deal, you know?

Yeah.
It's all we talked about.

It's all we thought about,
getting bigger shows.

Everything was just focused
on the future all the time.

And now the...

Band doesn't even
exist anymore, right?

And looking back at the...

At the shows we did play,

Even rehearsing, you know?
It was so much fun.

Now I'd be able to enjoy
every minute of it.

Could I have a drag of that?
Mm-hmm.

Well, your book
has been published.

That's-- that's
a pretty big deal,

And you've been
all around europe with it.

Are you enjoying
every minute of it?

Not really.

Not really?
No.

[both laugh]

You have
another one of those?

Yes, of course.

Um...

Here.

In my field, I see
these people that--

Oh, sorry.

--come into it
with big idealist visions

Of becoming the new leader
that will create a better world.

They enjoy the goal,
but not the process.

Right.
But the reality of it is

That the true work
of improving things

Is in the little achievements
of the day,

And that's what you need
to enjoy, to stay in that field.

What do you mean here, exactly?
Well, for example,

I was working
for this organization

That helped
villages in mexico,

And their concerns
was how to get the pencils

Sent to the kid
in those little country schools.

It was not about big,
revolutionary ideas.

Hmm.
It was about pencils.

I see the people
that do the real work,

And what's really sad,
in a way, is that

The people that are
the most giving, hard-working,

And capable
of making this world better

Usually don't have the ego
and ambition to be a leader.

They don't see any interest
in superficial rewards.

They don't care

If their name ever appear
in the press.

They actually enjoy
the process of helping others.

They're in the moment.

Yeah, but that's so hard,

You know, to be in the moment.
Yeah.

I mean, I just feel
like I'm...

Designed to be...

Slightly dissatisfied
with everything, you know?

I mean, like, always trying to
better my situation, you know?

I satisfy one desire,
and it just agitates another.

You know, but then I think
ah, to hell with it, right?

I mean,
desire's the fuel of life.

Yes.
I mean, do you think

It's true that if...

If we never wanted anything,
we'd never be unhappy?

I don't know.

Not wanting anything is--

Isn't that
a sympm of depression?

[laughs]

Yeah, that is, right?
Yes, I...

I mean, it's healthy
to desire, right?

Yeah. I don't know.

I mean, it's what all
those buddhist guys say, right?

You know,
liberate yourself from desire,

And you'll find that you already
have everything you need.

Yeah, but I feel really alive

When I want something more
than just basic survival needs.

I mean, wanting, whether it's
intimacy with another person,

Or a new pair of shoes,
is kind of beautiful.

I like that we have
those ever-renewing desires.

You know?
Yeah, well,

Maybe it's just
a sense of entitlement.

You know, like,
whenever you feel

Like you deserve
that new pair of shoes.

You know? I mean,
it's okay to want things

As long as
you don't get pissed off

If you don't get them. Right?
Yeah.

Life's hard.
It's supposed to be.

If we didn't suffer,
we wouldn't learn a thing,

You know?

So, what are you,
buddhist or something?

No.
No? Why not?

I don't know. Uh...

Same reason I don't

Really consider myself
anything, really.

Yeah, I know.
I decided a long time ago

That I was gonna
be open to everything,

But not buy into
any one and only belief system.

I went to
this trappist monastery

A couple years ago.

Trappist?

Yeah, they're
catholic, cistercian.

Oh.
Yeah.

Why did you do that?

Why? I'd just been doing
some reading, I guess.

I don't know.
I thought it'd be cool.

Have you ever spent any time
with any monks or nuns?

No.

It's not really my style.
No?

No.
[both laugh]

But go ahead.
Well, I--

I expected them to be
all glowering and stern,

You know, but they weren't.

They were really quick to laugh,
really easy to be around.

Seriously, very attuned
to everything.

[chuckles]
they were just, uh...

You know, they weren't

Trying to hustle anybody.
Mm-hmm.

They're trying to live
and die in peace with god,

You know, or whatever part
of them they feel is eternal.

You know, and it was just
so refreshing to be around.

You know, you realize that most
of the people that you meet

Are trying
to get somewhere better.

You know, they're trying
to make a little bit more cash.

They're trying to get
a little more respect,

Have more people admire them,
you know?

It's just exhausting.

No kidding.
You know, and it's exhausting

To be one of those
people yourself, you know?

[laughs]
I mean, there I am, right?

You know, all greedy
to be more spiritual, you know?

I wanna be a better person,
you know?

You can't escape.

I had this, uh...

This boyfriend of mine,
many years ago,

That wanted to be
a buddhist.

So he went to asia to visit
some of those monasteries.

Yeah, I thought
about doing that too.

Yeah, and you should.
Really?

I'll tell you why.

Uh, he was
quite good-looking,

And each time he went
to one of those monasteries,

A monk offered
to suck his cock.

[both laugh]

True story.

Well, it all comes down to that,
doesn't it?

Mmm.

And I think that's why I
really admire what you're doing.

You know?

What do you mean,
sucking cock?

Uh, no!
No?

[both laugh]

Wrong answer.
No. Yeah--

No, I was gonna say,
uh...

You know, you're not detached
from life, you know?

You've put in your--
passion into action.

Well, I try.

Hey, you know something?
What?

I'm gonna be on planes
and, like, in an airport

For the next eight hours.
Uh-huh.

I'd just love to see
a little bit more of paris.

Would you walk around
with me a little?

Yeah, let's do that.
Do you mind?

No. Let's. Yeah, that's great.
Do you want to?

What do we owe here? 4.50.
Uh--

No, I got it. I got it.
Okay.

I got a little per diem
going on here.

This good for, like,
a tip and everything?

Yeah, that's fine.
Yeah?

That's more than enough.
I'll throw that in there too.

All right, is there
anywhere to go around here?

Uh, it's sales day today.

What's that?

It's when everything
is on sale in paris.

It's twice a year.

Au revoir. Merci.
[man speaks french]

Au revoir. Merci.

Oh, let's
go shopping.

No, no, no, no.
That's a bad idea.

I don't want
to inflict that on you.

No?
It's madness.

Let's just go
on this garden path.

All right.
It's really nice.

Jesse:
all right. All right.

That sounds better
than shopping, actually.

I mean, not that I wouldn't
do whatever you wanted.

You know, sometimes, I don't
even need to buy anything.

I just get high on trying on
and looking at things.

You know, a therapist
would tell you--

Is this where we're going?
Yeah.

A therapist would tell you
that's all good.

Really?
Yeah.

Are you ever in therapy?
No.

Jesse:
do I seem like
I'm in therapy?

Celine:
I'm kidding.

Has it helped
your sex problems?

My sex problems?

No, I'm kidding.

Oh, come on.
Tell me the truth.

We didn't have
any problems that night.

No, I'm kidding.

We didn't even
have sex anyway.

Wait, that's a joke, right?

No, we didn't.

Well, what--?
That was the whole thing.

No, of course we did.

No, no, no, no.
We didn't.

You didn't
have a condom,

And I never have sex
without one.

Especially
on a one-night thing.

I'm extremely paranoid
about my health.

There's no way--
whoa, whoa.

I'm finding this scary
that you don't remember.

Why--? No, listen.

Okay? I didn't write
an entire book,

[chuckles]
but I kept a journal, okay?

And I wrote
the whole night in it.

That's what I meant,
you idealizing the night.

All right, listen.

I even remember what brand
of condom we used.

Okay, that's disgusting.

I don't want to hear it.
That's not disgusting.

No.
Well...

Okay, you know what?

When I get home,
I'll check my journal from '94,

But I know I'm right.
All right.

Wait a minute.
What?

Was it in the cemetery?

[scoffs]
no.

No, we went to the cemetery
in the afternoon.

It was in the park,
very late at night.

In the park.
Park...

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
This is...

I can't...
[chuckles]

No, I--
is it that forgettable?

I mean,
you really don't remember?

In the park.

Okay, wait a minute.

I-- I think
you might be right.

All right. No, you're
messing with me now.

No...
Are you messing with me?

Okay, no, I'm sorry.
I think you're--

I mean,
you're right, okay?

Sometime I put things
in drawers inside my head

And forget about it.

I guess it's less painful
to put certain things away

Than to live with it.
I'm sorry. It's--

So that night was
like a sad memory for you?

No, I didn't mean
that night in particular,

I just meant certain things
are better off forgotten.

I remember that night
better than I do entire years.

Me too.

Really?

Well, I thought I did...
Uh-huh.

[both chuckle]

But maybe I...

Maybe I put it away
because of the fact

That my grandmother's
funeral was the day

We were supposed to
meet again.

Yeah, right. It was
a tough day for me,

But it must've been
worse for you.

It was unreal.

I remember looking at
her dead body in the coffin...

[sighs]

...At her beautiful hands,
so warm, so sweet,

That used to
hold me but...

Nothing in that coffin resembled
what I remembered of her.

All the warmth was gone.

And then I was crying,

So confused,
if I was crying

Because I was
never gonna see her again,

Or never gonna see...

You again, or...

I'm sorry.
No, it's all right.

I'm sorry to go
on like this.

I've been a little down
this week, I don't know.

Why?
I don't know. Nothing bad.

Just, um...

Reading your book,
maybe?

No, but thinking
of how hopeful I was

That summer and fall,

And since then
it's been kind of, um...

[sighs]
I don't know.

Memory is
a wonderful thing

If you don't have to...

Deal with the past.

[both laugh]
what?

"memory is
a wonderful thing

If you don't have to
deal with the past."

Can put that
on a bumper sticker?

You know, if you wrote
a book about our night,

That'd be a good title.

Yeah, and it would be
a total different book.

Yeah, there'd be no sex scenes.
[laughs] yeah.

But you know what?
What?

Now that we've met again,

We can change our memory
of that December 16th.

It no longer has
that sad ending

Of us never seeing
each other again, right?

Yeah, you're right.

I mean, I guess
a memory's never finished

As long as you're alive.

Yeah, I know.
[chuckles]

I have this memory
from my childhood

That I realized
recently never happened.

What?
Well...

When I was
eight nor nine,

My mom was so paranoid
when I was walking home

From my piano lesson at night,
mm-hmm.

She would always warn me

About dirty old men
giving me candies

And then showing me
their pee-pees.

[laughs]

She was
so obsessed with it

That later in life,
you know,

I-- I had this image in my head
that this really happened,

To the point that
I even associated sex

With that walk home.

I mean, and sometimes
even now when I'm...

[laughs]

When I'm hav...

When I'm having sex,

I see myself walking
down that street.

[laughs]
I swear.

It's so weird, right?

Well,
is that street nearby?

I mean, could--?
Could we? No.

Very far.

Did you ever keep a journal
when you were a kid?

Mmm, yeah.
On and off, I guess.

It's funny.
I read, uh...

One of mine
from '83 the other day.

Yeah.

And what really
surprised me is

That I was dealing with life
the same way I am now.

I was much more hopeful

And naive,
mm-hmm.

But the core and the way
I was feeling things

Is exactly the same.
Mmm.

It made me realize
I haven't changed much at all.

Yeah, I don't think
anybody does.

I mean, people don't
wanna admit it,

But it's, like,
we just--

We have these innate
set-points, you know,

Uh-huh.
And it's, like,

Nothing much
that happens to us

Changes our disposition.

Really, you believe that?
I think so.

I read this study
where they followed people

Who'd won the lottery
mm-hmm.

And people who'd
become paraplegics, right?

I mean, you'd think that,
you know, one extreme

Is gonna make you euphoric
and the other suicidal,

But the study shows
that after about six months,

Mm-hmm.
Right, it--

As soon as people had gotten
used to their new situation,

Uh, they were
more or less the same.

The same?
Well-- yeah.

Like, if they were basically

An optimistic, jovial person,
mm-hmm.

They're now an optimistic,
jovialerson in a wheelchair.

If they're a petty,
miserable asshole,

Okay, they're a petty,
miserable asshole

With a new cadillac,
a house and a boat.

[chuckles]

So you mean
I'll be forever depressed

No matter what great things
happen in my life?

Definitely.
Great.

No, come on.
Are you depressed now?

No, no,
I'm not depressed...

But sometimes I worry

That I'll get
to the end of my life,

Feeling I haven't done
all I wanted to do.

Well, what do you
want to do?

[sighs]

I, um...

I want to paint more.

I want to
play my guitar everyday.

I want to learn chinese.

I want to write more songs.

There's so many things
I want to do,

And I end up doing
not much.

[laughs]

All right.
Well, let me ask you this.

Do you believe in, like, uh,
what?

Ghosts or spirits?

Uh...No.

No?
No.

Okay, what about
reincarnation?

Not at all.

God?
No.

[both laugh]

All right.
That-- that sounds terrible.

No, no, no,
but at the same time

I don't want to be
one of those people

That don't believe
in any kind of magic,

You know.
Oh, so then astrology.

Yes, of course!
There we go.

I mean, that makes sense, right?
Right. Obviously.

I mean, you're a scorpio.
I'm a sag. We get along.

[both laugh]

No... No, no.

There's an einstein quote
I really, really like.

He said,
"if you don't believe

"in any kind of
magic or mystery,

You're basically
as good as dead."

Hmm. Yeah, I like that.
Yeah

I've always felt
there was

Some kind of mystical core
to the universe, you know,

But more recently,
I've started to think that...

That me, you know,

My personality, whatever,
mm-hmm.

That I don't have
any permanent place here.

Mm-hmm.

You know, in eternity
or whatever, you know.

And the more I think that,
I can't go through life,

Saying that this is
no big deal, you know?

I mean, this is it.
This is actually happening.

What do you think
is interesting?

What do you think
is funny?

What do you think
is important, you know?

Every day is our last.
[chuckles]

When I feel that way,
I usually call my mom

To tell her
how much I love her...

Yeah?
And she's always,

"are you okay?
Do you have cancer?

[laughs]
are you gonna commit suicide?"

It's almost
not worth it.

So, uh...

So, what about us?

What about us?
Look, I...

What I mean is,
um...

If we were both
going to die tonight--

What, like,
if the apocalypse was coming?

No, no,
that's too dramatic,

But what if, you know,

Just the two of us
were going to die?

I mean...
Hmmm.

Would we talk
about your book,

The environment, or...?

If today
was our last day.

Yeah, what would
we talk about?

What would you tell me,
for example?

Well...

That's hard, huh?

No, well--
no, I'll do it.

I definitely would stop
talking about my book.

Okay.
I have to admit

I would probably
drop the environment.

Okay.

But I would still 'ih6twant to
talk about, you know,

The magic in the universe.
Mm-hmm.

I'd just want to
do it from a...

What?

A hotel room, you know,

In between sessions of us
wildly fucking until we die.

Wow.

Well, why waste time
with an hotel room?

Why not do it
right there on a bench?

Okay, come on.

No!
Come here.

Come here. Come here.
No!

[laughs]

Okay.

We're not gonna
die tonight.

All right. Too bad.
Okay?

Yeah.
I'm sorry.

That was
an extreme example.

I was-- okay.
I'm sorry.

What I--
my point was, you know,

To truly communicate
with people

Is very hard to do.

No, I know, I mean,
most of our...

Most of our day-to-day
exchanges--

Yeah, I know. I mean,

Not to bring everything
back to sex, but--

But why not?
No, no.

This example,
this friend of mine,

She was talking about

She and her boyfriend,

Problems in bed...
Right.

And how when they had
been dating for a year,

She started telling him

What he could do
to please her more,

And it totally freaked him out.

Why?
Totally.

Well, he felt all threatened.

And he thought it meant
he was a bad lover...

Maybe she shouldn't have
waited so long,

After a year.
Well, yeah,

But men are
so easily offended.

Oh, what, more than women,
you think?

Oh. Definitely
on that subject.

You think so?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hmm.

Well, maybe it's because,
you know...

Men are easier to,
you know...

To please.
To please?

Well, I don't know.
Yeah.

Yeah, they are.

They definitely--
definitely.

Anyway, this friend of mine,
she was telling me

That, um, next time
she dates another man,

She's gonna make
a little questionnaire

About what they like
and dislike before they--

What, like, written down
or out loud?

Yeah, yeah, written down.
Mostly written down...

But it wouldn't be
just, you know, yes or no.

It would be a bit more
complex than that.

Like what?
For example,
if the question is...

"are you into s and m?"

Uh, the answer could be,

"no, but...

A good spanking
once in a while doesn't hurt."

Right?
Right, or like, what,

"do you--?
So do you like

Talking dirty in bed,"
that kind of thing?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, but not
just like any dirty talk.

Mm-hmm.
Just like, "what specific word

Would you like to hear,"
you know?

Right. What, me?
Well, yeah.

Like, for example, like,

What specific word
would you like to hear?

I don't know.

Um...

What do you feel
about the word "pussy"?

I...Love it.

Good.

[laughs]

It's azing
what perverts we've become

I know. I know.
In the past nine years.

Well, at least now
we don't have to pretend

That each new sexual experience
is, like, a life-altering event.

I know, by now I know

You've stuck it
in so many places,

It's, like,
about to fall off, right?

Mmm, yeah, you know,

I can't realistically expect
u've become

Anything but a total ho
at this point, you know.

Yeah, thank you.
[laughs]

No, I'm s--

That's true.
What can you do?

Hmm? What can you do?

So...
[clears throat]

What kind of songs
do you write?

I didn't know
you did that.

What kind?
Yeah, sure.

I don't know, just songs.
Like--

Like, some are about,
you know, people.

Uh... Relationships.
One's about my cat.

Sing one. Just--
no, I can't.

I don't have a guitar.
Oh, I mean, come on.

No, no, no.
A cappella.

I'm not singing a song
without a guitar. You're nuts.

Why not?
[laughs]

Just...One.
No, okay.

Not now, no.

If not now, when?

What, you want to meet here
in six months with a guitar?

You know, I'll fly
all the way over here.

You may or may not
make the métro.

That's funny. Yeah, there's no--
okay.

We've gotta get going
back to the bookstore.

We'll be fine.
You're gonna miss your flight.

All right, all right.
Come on, let's go.

We can walk down la seine.

It's a nice thing.
Okay.

So you're flying
back to new york?

Yeah, yeah.

So I read
in that article

That you're
married with a kid.

That's great.

Yeah, he's--

He's four.

Uh-huh.
What's his name?

Henry. Little hank.

He's so much fun.

Oh, wow. I'm sure.

And your wife?
What does she do?

She teaches
elementary school.

Do you--?
Do you have kids?

Yes, two.

Shit!
What?

I left them in the car,
with the windows up!

It was six months ago.
Do you think they're okay?

[laughs]
no, I'm kidding.

No, but I want to
have kids some day.

I'm just not ready yet.
Yeah?

Yeah, I'm in a good
relationship, though.

Oh, yeah? That's good.
Yeah.

What's he do?

He's a photojournalist.
He does war coverage.

Oh, he away a lot,

Which, in a way,
is good for me

Because I'm so busy.

Yeah, but isn't
that dangerous?

I mean, aren't
a lot of those guys

Getting killed
these days?

He promises me
he doesn't take risks,

But I often worry.

He goes into this trance

When he starts
to photograph something.

What do you mean?

Well, once we were
in new delhi,

And we passed a bum
that was lying down--

A bomb?

A bum.
A bum.

A homeless.
[laughs]

All right,
all right.

Anyway, like, he looked
like he needed help,

But his first reaction
was to photograph him.

He went, like,
really close to his face,

Fixing his collar
to make it look better.

He was, like, totally detached
from the person.

Yeah, but don't you kind of
have to be like that

To be good at that job?

Yeah, I mean, I'm not,
you know,

I'm not judging him for it,
you know?

What he does
is essential and incredible.

All I'm saying is
that I could never do it.

Yeah, let's get
on that boat.

Come on.
No!

No, come on. It'll be fun.
You don't have time.

It looks like they're
about to take off.

Look, I've got--
I've got 15 more minutes.

Do you have a cell phone?
Yeah.

All right,
well, look.

I got that driver guy's number,
and I can call him,

Okay.
And then they can pick us up

At whatever the next stop is.
You know what?

I've never
been on those boats.

It's for tourists.
It's embarrassing.

Come on.
Okay, all right.

[both speaking french]

No, I'll get it.
I'll get it.

[celine speaks french]

All right.
All right, all right.

[celine speaks french]

Thank you.
[speaks french]

So are you in love
with that guy?

What guy?

The war photographer.
Merci.

Yes, of course.

Your change.
Bon voyage.

Merci.

Um, so do you--? Do you
have that cell phone?

Oh, yeah.

Okay, let's see.

Okay.

All right,
what do I tell him?

Yeah, tell him to pick you up
at quai henri quatre.

Oh, shit. Uh, qu-quai...

Henri quatre.
Quai henri quatre.

Henri quatre.

Hen--
[both laugh]

What's wrong with you?

No, do you want me to--?
Henri quatre.

Henry four?
Yes!

Come on, why didn't you say so?
I'm sorry, okay.

[dialing phone]

[engine powering up]

Uh, yeah.
Is this philippe?

Yeah. Philippe,
this is jesse wallace.

Yeah.

No, well, listen, I'm--

I'm on one
of those boats, right?

Um, and we're gonna
arrive at--

At henry four,

At port henry four.

You know what--?
You know what that is?

All right, great.

And you have my bags,
right?

Yeah, so we'll
be there in...

I don't know,
it's the next stop.

Okay. Au revoir.

Okay?
Yeah, yeah.

Oh, wow.

Notre dame, man,
check that out.

Oh, wow.

I heard this story once

About when the germans
were occupying paris,

And they had
to retreat back.

They wired
notre dame to blow,

But they had to--

They had to leave one guy

In charge
of hitting the switch.

And the guy,
the soldier, he--

He couldn't do it.

You know, he just
sat there knocked out

By how beautiful
the place was...

And then when
the allied troops came in,

They found all the explosives
just lying there,

And the switch unturned.

And they found
the same thing

At the sacré-coeur,
eiffel tower...

A couple other places,
I think.

Is that true?

I don't know.

I always liked
the story, though.

Yeah, that's
a great story.

But you have to think

That notre dame will
be gone one day.

There used to
be another church

Or cathedral at the seine.

Right there.
What, right in the same spot?

Yeah.

Hmm.

Yeah, this is great.

I've never done this.

Yeah.

I forget about
how beautiful paris is.

This isn't so bad,
being a tourist, huh?

Thank you for getting me
on the boat.

Oh, you're welcome.

You know, I think
that book that I wrote,

In a way, was like
building something

So that
I wouldn't forget

The details of the time
that we spent together.

You know, like,
just as a reminder that...

That once we really did meet.

You know, that this was real.
This happened.

I'm happy you're saying that,
because--

I mean, I always feel
like a freak

Because I'm never able
to move on like this:

You know?

People just
have an affair

Or even
entire relationships.

They break up
and they forget.

They move on like they would've
changed brand of cereals.

I feel I was never able
to forget anyone I've been with,

Because each person had
their own...

Specific qualities.

You can never
replace anyone.

What is lost is lost.

Each relationship,
when it ends really damages me.

I never fully recover.

That's why I'm very careful with
getting involved because...

It hurts too much.

Even getting laid.

[laughs]
I actually don't do that
because...

I will miss of the person
the most mundane things.

Like, I'm obsessed
with little things.

Maybe I'm crazy,
but...When I was a little girl,

My mom told me that I was
always late to school.

One day she followed me
to see why.

I was looking at chestnuts
falling from the trees,

Rolling on the sidewalk,

Or ants crossing the road,

The way a leaf cast a shadow
on a tree trunk.

Little things.

I think it's
the same with people.

I see in them
little details,

So specific
to each of them,

That move me,
and that I miss

And will always miss.

You can never replace anyone,

Because everyone is made of such
beautiful, specific details.

Like I remember the way

Your beard has
a bit of red in it,

And how the sun was
making it glow that...

That morning
right before you left.

I remembered that,
and I missed it.

Really crazy, right?

All right,
now I know for sure.

You wanna know why
I wrote that stupid book?

Why?
So that you might

Come to a reading
in paris,

And I could walk up to you
and ask,

"where the fuck were you?"

[chuckles]

No, you think
I'd be here today?

I'm serious.
I think I...

I wrote it in a way
to try to find you.

Okay, that's--
I know that's not true,

But that's sweet of you
to say.

Well, I think
it is true.

What do you think
the chances were

Of us ever meeting again?

After that December,
I'd say almost zero.

But we're not real anyway,
right?

We're just characters
in that old lady's dream.

She's on her deathbed
fantasizing about her youth,

So of course
we had to meet again.

[groans]
oh, god.

Why weren't you there in vienna?

I told you why.

Yeah, I know why,
I just...

I wish you would have been.

Our lives might have been
so much different.

[quietly] you know?
Do you think so?

I actually do.

Maybe not.

Maybe we would have
hated each other eventually.

Oh, what, like we hate
each other now?

You know,
maybe we're...

We're only good
at brief encounters

Walking around
in european cities,

In warm climate.

[chuckles]

Oh, god. Why didn't we exchange
phone numbers and stuff?

Why didn't we do that?

Because we were
young and stupid.

Do you think we still are?

I guess when you're young,
you just believe

There will be many people
with whom you'll connect with,

And later in life, you realize
it only happens a few times.

Yeah, and you can
screw it up.

You know, misconnect.

Well, the past
is the past.

It was meant
to be that way.

What, you really
believe that,

That everything's fated?

Well...You know,

The world might be
less free than we think.

Yeah?

Yeah, when given
these exact circumstances,

That's what will
happen every time.

Two part hydrogen,
one part oxygen,

You'll get water
every time.

No, no, no. I mean,

What if your grandmother had
lived a week longer, you know,

Or passed away a week earlier,
days, even, you know?

Things might've been different.
I believe that.

No, you can't think
like that, it's--

No. I mean, I know you shouldn't
on most things, but...

It's just it...

On this one, it seemed like
something was off, you know?

I mean...

In the months leading up
to my wedding, okay,

I was thinking abo.

I mean,
even on my way there,

I'm in the car,

And a buddy of mine
is driving me downtown,

And I'm staring
out the window.

And I think I see you

Not far from
the church, right,

Folding up an umbrella
and walking into a deli

On the corner
of 13th and broadway...

And I thought I was
going crazy, you know,

But now I think
it probably was you.

I lived on
11th and broadway.

[softly]
you see?

[inhales]

So...What is it like
to be married?

You haven't talked much
about that.

I haven't?

How weird.

I don't know.
We met...

You know,
when I was in college.

And, uh, we broke up,

And got back together
for a period of years,

And then, um...

What, we were
sort of back together,

And she was pregnant...

So marriage.

What is she like?

She's a great teacher,
a good mom.

Uh, she's smart, pretty,
you know?

I remember thinking
at the time

That...So many of the men
that I admired most, you know,

That their lives were...

Were dedicated to something
greater than themselves.

So you got married

Because men you admired
were married?

No, no, no. It...

It's more like I had this idea
of my best self, you know,

And I wanted
to pursue that,

Even if it might've been
overriding my honest self.

Do you know
what I'm saying?

I mean,
it's funny, like,

In the moment
I remember thinking

That it didn't much matter
the who of it all.

I mean, that nobody
is gonna be everything to you,

And that ultimately

It's just the simple action of
committing yourself, you know,

Meeting your responsibilities,
that matters.

I mean,
what is love, right,

If it's not respect,
trust, admiration?

And I-- I felt
all those things.

So cut to
the present tense,

And I feel like
I'm running a small nursery

With somebody
I used to da, you know?

I mean, I'm like a monk,
you know?

I mean, I've had sex
less than...

10 times
in the last four years.

[laughs]

What? What, what?
You laughing at me?

No.
It sounds pathetic?

What monastery do the monk
have sex 10 times?

Okay, you're right.
[laughs]

I'm doing better
than most monks, all right.

But I do. I feel like
if somebody were to touch me,

You know, I would dissolve
into molecules.

Well, we're here.
We've gotta go.

Come on.

Shit.

[speaking french]

Bonsoir.

Bonsoir.

Bonsoir.

Oh, sacré-coeur.

I'm sorry to hear that,
what?

You know, you're not that
happy with your marriage.

Well, this friend of mine,
she's a shrink and--

Yeah, how's she doing?
She's a mess, but--

[both laugh]

No, she was telling me

That she's been dealing
with a lot of couples

That are breaking up
for the same exact reason.

Mmm, what reason
is that?

Well, all
those couples expected

After a few years
of living together

For the passion, that consuming
desire, to be the same

Than in the beginning.
Yeah, right.

It's impossible.
No, I know that.

And thank god!

Otherwise we would end up
with aneurysms if we were

In that constant state
of excitement, right?

We would end up doing nothing
at all with our lives.

Do you think you would
have finished your book

If you were fucking
someone every five minutes?

I might have
welcomed the challenge.

No...
[both laugh]

But, you know,
it's natural for your wife

After the birth of your son.
No.

She has to giveall her love

To the little one.
Of course.

Imagine if she was
totally obsessed with sex,

Riding you
like a wild cat.

That wouldn't make
any sense, right?

No, no. It wo--

Everything you're
saying makes sense.

It's--
it's not about sex.

No, I know.
It's obvious.

I, um...

You know, couples
are so confused lately.

I think
it must be that...

Men need to feel essential,
and they don't anymore.

Because it's been
imprinted in their head

For so many years

That they have
to be the provider.

Like, I-- I'm a strong,
independent woman

In my professional life.
Really?

I don't need a man
to feed me,

But I still need a man
to love me

And that I could love,
you know?

So, uh...

Your driver's here.
Yeah.

Well, I guess
this is goodbye.

You better give me your--

No, why don't we just
give you a ride home,

Wherever you're going, huh?

Well, I can take
the métro. I'm fine.

No, no, no, no, no.

My flight's
not until 10:00, right?

They've got me arriving
two hours early.

It's not really--
this way we can keep talking.

No, no. Monsieur?
It's not really on the way.

Can...?
[speaks french]

Oui.
[speaks french]

[both speaking french]

So you told him where you are,
and all that jazz?

Yeah.

[celine speaks french]

[engine starts]

So he knows where he's going?
Yes.

Glad somebody does.

[chuckles]

No, but this is better
than the métro, right?

Definitely.

I was thinking,
for me it's better

I don't romanticize things
as much anymore.

I was suffering so much
all the time.

I still have
lots of dreams,

But they're not in regard
to my love life.

It doe't make me sad.
It's just the way it is.

Is that why you're in
a relationship

With somebody
who's never around?

[chuckles]

Yes, obviously I can't deal

With the day-to-day life
of a relationship.

Yeah, we have, you know,
this exciting time together,

And then he leaves,
and I miss him,

But at least
I'm not dying inside.

When someone
is always around me,

I'm, like, suffocating.

No, wait. You just said that
you need to love and be loved.

Yeah, but when I do, it
quickly makes me nauseous.

[laughs]
it's a disaster.

I mean, I'm really happy
only when I'm on my own.

Even being alone,
it's better than...

Sitting next to a lover
and feeling lonely.

It's not so easy
for me

To be a romantic.
You start off that way,

And after you've been
screwed over a few times,

You-- you forget about
all your delusional ideas,

And you just take
what comes into your life.

That's not even true.

I haven't been
screwed over.

I've just had too many
"blah" relationship.

They weren't mean.

They cared for me,

But there were no real
connection or excitement.

At least,
not from my side.

God, I'm sorry. Is it--?
Is it really that bad?

It's not, right?

You know...

It's not even that.

I was-- I was fine...

Until I read your fucking book.

It stirred shit up,
you know?

It reminded me
how genuinely romantic I was,

How I had so much hope
in things,

And now it's like...

I don't believe in anything
that relates to love.

I don't feel things
for people anymore.

In a way...

I put all my romanticism
into that one night,

And I was never able

To feel all this again.
Hey.

Like, somehow this night
took things away from me,

And I exprsed them to you,
and you took them with you.

It made me feel cold,
like if love wasn't for me.

No, no.
I don't believe that.

[sighs]
I don't believe that.

You know what?

Reality and love
are almost contradictory for me.

It's funny.

Every single of my exes,
they're now married.

Men go out with me,
we break up,

And then they get married,
[chuckles]

And later they call me
to thank me

For teaching them what love is,
oh, god...

And that I taught them
to care and respect women.

Yeah. I think I'm
one of those guys.

You know,
I want to kill them!

Why didn't they ask me
to marry them?

I would have said no, but
at least they could've asked.

But it's my fault.
I know it's my fault

Because I never felt
it was the right man,

Never!
But what does it mean,

The right man, the love of your
life? The concept is absurd.

The idea that we can only be
complete with another person

Is evil, right?

Can I talk?
You know...

I guess I've been
heartbroken

Too many times,
and then I recovered.

So now, you know,
from the starts,

I make no effort,
because I know

It's not gonna work out.
You can't. You can't do that.

You can't live your life
trying to avoid pain

At the expense--
okay, you know what?

Those are words.
I've gotta get away from you.

Stop the car.
I wanna get out.

No, don't--
no, it's--

Don't get out.
You know what?

Keep talking.
It's being around you.

No, don't touch me.
Okay.

I wanna get a cab.

[speaks french]
monsieur, monsieur...

No, no, no. Just--
don't-- keep going.

Keep--
hey, no, listen.

I'm just so happy--
[sighs]

Thank you,
just keep going.

All right.

[sighs]

Look, I am just so happy,
all right, to be with you.

I am. I'm so glad
you didn't forget about me.

Okay?
No, I didn't,

And it pisses me off,
okay?

You come here to paris,
all romantic and married, okay?

Screw you.

Don't get me wrong,
I'm not trying

To get you or anything.

I mean, all I need
is a married man...

And there's been so much
water under the bridge,

It's not even about you anymore.

It's about that time,
that moment in time,

That is forever gone.
I don't know.

You say all that,

But you didn't even
remember having sex. So...

Of course I remembered.

You did?
Yes.

Women pretend things
like that. I don't know.

They do?

Yeah, what was I
supposed to say?

That I remember
the wine in the park,

And us looking up
at the stars fading away

As the sun came up?

We had sex twice,
you idiot!

[chuckles]

[chuckles]

All right.
You know what?

I'm just happy to see you.

Even if you've become

An angry, manic-depressive
activist, I still like you.

[giggles]
I still enjoy being around you.

And I feel the same.

I'm sorry. I don't know
what happened.

I just... I had to
let it all out.

Ah, don't worry about it.

I'm so miserable
in my love life,

[exhales]
in my relationship.

I always act as, like,
you know, I'm detached,

But I'm dying inside.

I'm dying because
I'm so numb.

I don't feel pain
or excitement.

I'm not even bitter.
I'm just...

You think you're
the one dying inside?

My life is 24/7 bad.

[giggles]

I'm sorry.
No, no.

I mean,
the only happiness I get

Is when I'm out
with my son.

I've been
to marriage counseling.

I've done things

I never thought
I would have to do.

I've lit candles,
bought self-help books,

Lingerie...

Did the candles help?

Hell, no, all right?

I don't love her the way
she needs to be loved,

And I don't even
see a future for us.

But then I look
at my little boy...

Sitting at the table
across from me,

And I think I would suffer
any torture to be with him

For all the minutes
of his life, you know?

Don't want to
miss out on one.

But then, th-there's no joy

Or laughter in my home,
you know?

And I don't want him
growing up in that.

Ah, no laughter.
That's terrible.

My parents have been
together for 35 years,

And even when
they have a bad fight,

They end up
laughing like crazy.

Yeah, I just-- I don't want
to be one of those people

Who are getting
divorced at 52,

And falling down
into tears,

Admitting that they never
really loved their spouse,

And they feel their life
has been...

Sucked up into
a vacuum cleaner.

You know, I want a great life.

I want her to have a great life.

She deserves that,
all right.

But we're just living
in the pretense of a marriage,

Responsibility, you know?

All these, just...

Ideas of how people
are supposed to live...

But then I...

I have these dreams.

What dreams?

I have these dreams,
you know, that, um...

I'm standing on a platform...

And, uh...
What?

You keep going by
on a train.

And...

You go by,
and you go by,

And you go by,
you go by.

And I wake up with
the fucking sweats, you know.

And then I have
this other dream...

Ohhhh, where you're pregnant
in bed beside me naked.

And I want so badly
to touch you,

But you tell me not to.

And then
you look away, and--

And I--

I touch you anyway...

Right on your ankle,
and your skin is so soft

That I wake up in sobs,
all right,

[sighs]
and my wife is sitting there

Looking at me,

And I feel like
I'm a million miles from her.

And I know that
there's something wrong,

You know, that I--
[groans]

God, that I can't keep living
like this, that there's gotta be

Something more to love
than commitment.

But then I think
that I might've given up

On the whole idea
of romantic love

That I-- I might have
put it to bed that...

That day when
you weren't there.

You know, I think
I might've done that.

Why are you telling me
all this?

I'm sorry.

I don't know.

I-- I shouldn't have.

I shouldn't have.

You know, it's so weird.

People think

They are
the only ones

Going through
tough times.

I mean, when I read
the article,

I thought
your life was perfect.

[both chuckle]

A wife, a kid,
published author.

[laughs]

But your personal life
is more of a mess than mine.

Mmmm...
I'm sorry.

Well, I'm glad it's good
for something.

[speaks french]

This is--
this is where you live?

Yeah.

So are you just relieved

That I'm in even more
deep shit than you are?

Yes. You've made me
feel better.

Oh, good. I'm glad.
[laughs]

No, I really
wish you the best.

[sighs]

It's not because
I'm incapable of having

A good relationship
or a family

That I wish everyone
to be doomed like me.

I'm sure you make--
be a great mom someday.

Really, you think so?

Oh, yeah,
a few anti-depressants,

You know,
you'll do great.

[laughs] oh, no.
No.

Okay, say stop.

Oh, stop.

Oh!
Hey!

Okay.

You ready? Okay.
Yes.

[sighs]

So...I want to
try something.

What?

I want to see
if you stay together,

Or if you dissolve
into molecules.

How am I doing?

Still here.

Good.
I like being here.

Is this your apartment?

Oh, no,
I live down there.

Down there?
Yeah.

Uh, hey, monsieur.

I'm gonna walk her to her door.
Okay.

[speaks french]

This is incredible.
This is where you live?

Yeah.

How long
have you been here?

Four years.

Wow.

So tell me...

What?

Is it all true
about your dreams,

Or did you
just say that

To hopefully
get in my pants?

Oh, I just said that
to get in your pants.

I use that all the time.
Oh, okay.

Does it work?
Ah, you know, sometimes.

Here's my kitty.
Oh, so cute!

Look at him.

You know what I love
about this cat

Is that every morning

I bring him down
to the courtyard,

And every single morning

He looks at everything
like it was the first time:

Every corner,
every tree,

Every plant.

Smells everything
with his little cute nose.

[chuckles]
oh, I love my kitty.

I love my kitty.

Shoo, shoo.

What's his name?
Che.

Che?
Hmmm.

Uh-huh.

What?

Commie.

[both laugh]

No, "che" in argentina
means "hey."

Okay.
Yes.

Oh, baby.

Oh, yes, yes, yes.

[speaks french]

We're having
a little party.

It's so much fun.

[speaks french]

[speaks french]

Man:
salut.

Uh, salut.

So...

So...

[speaks french]

[speaks french]

[both speaking french]

[laughs]

You know what? I...

I was thinking,

Would you play me
one of your songs?

You're gonna miss
your flight.

I won't. I won't.
I'm gonna be sitting

In the airport
for over an hour,

Reading the newspaper,
all right?

Wishing you'd played me
one of your songs.

One song?
Yeah.

Okay, but quickly.

Okay.

God, I love
these old staircases.

[meows]

[chuckles]

Hold this.
What, for me?

[laughs]

Jeez.
Hey there, buddy.

Che.

Whoa.
[laughs]

Would you like some tea?

Yeah, sure.

Wow.

Is chamomile okay?

Yeah, great. Merci.

"messy?"

You think my apartment is messy?

No, no. No, no, no.

M-- merci, merci beaucoup.

Ah, "merci."

I meant to tell you,

Your french
has improved a lot.

Really?
Yeah.

Yeah, you've really
mastered the language.

[both laugh]

All right. All right.

What song are you
gonna play me, huh?

No, I can't.

It's too embarrassing.
It's been--

Whoa.

No way, no way.
I came all the way up here.

You cannot crap out on me now.
One song.

Anything will be great.

No, but listen,
you're gonna laugh at me.

You think so?
Yes.

I doubt it.

Okay.

What do you want to hear?

I have, um...

I have three songs
in english.

One's about my cat,

One's about...

My ex-boyfriend--

Well, ex-ex boyfriend.

And there's one about, um...

Well, it's just a...

Little waltz.

A waltz? Yeah.

Play the waltz.

I haven't played it
in a while.

You sure?

[sighs]

Okay.

[sighs]
all right, the waltz.

[plays playful, melancholy
melody]

♪ let me sing you
a waltz ♪

♪ out of nowhere
out of my thoughts ♪

♪ let me sing you
a waltz ♪

♪ about this
one-night stand ♪

♪ you were for me
that night ♪

♪ everything I always
dreamt of in life ♪

♪ but now
you're gone ♪

♪ you are
far gone ♪

♪ all the way
to your island of rain ♪

♪ it was for you
just a one-night thing ♪

♪ but you were much more
to me just so you know ♪

♪ I don't care
what they say ♪

♪ I know what you meant
for me that day ♪

♪ I just want
another try ♪

♪ I just want
another night ♪

♪ even if it doesn't seem
quite right ♪

♪ you meant for me
much more ♪

♪ than anyone I've
met before ♪

♪ one single night with you
little... ♪

[inhales]

♪ jesse ♪
[chuckles]

♪ is worth a thousand
with anybody ♪

♪ I have no bitterness
my sweet ♪

♪ I'll never forget
this one-night thing ♪

♪ even tomorrow
in other arms ♪

♪ my heart will stay yours
until I die ♪

♪ let me sing you
a waltz ♪

♪ out of nowhere ♪

♪ out of my blues ♪

♪ let me sing you
a waltz ♪

♪ about this lovely
one-night stand ♪

[inhales]

[claps hands]
[sighs]

No, one more. One more. Please.

Please, please. Come on.
No!

No, it was our deal.
Please.

One, one song.
Pl--

No, no, no, no, no.

You can have your tea,
and then...

[groans]

All right, let me-- let me
ask you one question.

What?

Do you just plug that name in

For every guy
that comes up here?

Oh, yes, of course.

What do you think, that I wrote
the song about you?

Are you nuts?

[laughs]

Oh, is this you?

Little cross-eyed celine?
Yes.

Cute.
It's funny.

[chuckles]

Is that your grandmother?

Yeah.

Oh, wow.

You want some honey?

Yeah, sure.

[whirrs, clicks]

[audience clapping]

Woman: whoo!

[nina simone's "just in time"
playing]

♪ just in time ♪

♪ you've found me
just in time ♪

Did you ever see
nina simone in concert?

No, I never did.

I can't believe she's gone.

I know. It's so sad.

Thanks.

It's hot.
♪ I was so lost ♪

♪ the losing dice
were tossed ♪

I saw her twice in concert.

She was so great.

That's one of
my favorite songs of hers.

[hums along]
♪ now, you hear ♪

[singing along]
♪ now I know where I'm going ♪

♪ no more doubt or fear ♪

♪ found my way... ♪

♪ klick klick klick ♪

[laughs]

She was so great.

She was so funny in concert.

She would, uh...

She would be
right in the middle of a song,

And then you know, stop...

[music continues,
audience claps]

...And walk from the piano

All the way to the edge
of the stage,

Like, really slowly.

Mm.

Then she'd start talking
to someone in the audience.

[sensually]
"oh, yeah, baby.

"oh, yeah.

"mm-hmm.

"ooh.

I love you too."

[laughs]

And then she'd walk back...

Took her time, no hurry,
you know?

She had that...Big, cute ass.

[laughs]

She would move. Whoo!

[both laugh]

And then she would, uh,

Go back to the piano
and play some more.

And then she would,
I don't know,

Just start another song
in the middle of another.

You know, like, stop again,

And...Be like,

"you over there,
can you move that fan?

"uh-huh.

"ooh. You're cute.

Mm? Mmmmm."

[both laugh]

"oh.

Ooh, yeah. Mm-hmm."

[giggles]

Baby...

You are gonna
miss that plane.

I know.

A Team Nanban (594mgnav) Release

♪ juuuuuust ♪

♪ in time ♪

♪ you've found me ♪

♪ before you came ♪

♪ my time was running low ♪

♪ I was lost ♪

♪ the losing dice were tossed ♪

♪ my bridges all were crossed ♪

♪ nowhere to go ♪

♪ nowhere to go ♪

♪ now, you hear ♪

♪ and I know
where I'm going ♪

♪ no more doubt
no more fear ♪

♪ I've found my way ♪

♪ so let's live
today any... Anyway ♪

♪ changed me ♪

♪ changed me ♪

♪ changed me ♪

♪ once again ♪

♪ and changed my lonely nights ♪

♪ that lucky day ♪

[julie delpy's "je t'aime tant"
playing]

[singing in french]