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1
00:00:08,258 --> 00:00:10,098
I got a plan for baal...
I'm going to find him,
2
00:00:10,135 --> 00:00:12,429
take my chainsaw,
shove it right up his ass.
3
00:00:12,596 --> 00:00:14,765
The book, it did something to me.
4
00:00:14,932 --> 00:00:17,412
It feels like something inside of me
that's trying to come out.
5
00:00:17,476 --> 00:00:19,728
Pablo, you're our only hope
of stopping baal.
6
00:00:19,895 --> 00:00:21,080
Kelly: Hey, quit fucking around.
7
00:00:21,104 --> 00:00:23,357
Find the spell we need
to send this asshole home.
8
00:00:39,456 --> 00:00:41,792
- You slayed that shit.
- Ash: You did it, Pablo!
9
00:00:54,263 --> 00:00:57,474
J' oh, I just died in your arms... I
10
00:00:57,641 --> 00:01:00,727
Oh, yeah.
Oh, I know what you're all saying.
11
00:01:00,894 --> 00:01:03,981
Ash Williams saved everybody.
12
00:01:04,147 --> 00:01:07,150
Yep, probably going to
have a statue made
13
00:01:07,317 --> 00:01:09,069
and a parade in my honor.
14
00:01:11,154 --> 00:01:12,990
You know what?
15
00:01:13,156 --> 00:01:15,033
I'd give it all up
16
00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:18,287
just to have my little
Mexican buddy back.
17
00:01:19,663 --> 00:01:23,166
0h, my-my Honduran-Mexican
buddy back.
18
00:01:23,333 --> 00:01:25,335
Here's to you. Oh, yeah.
19
00:01:36,138 --> 00:01:39,224
Nothing helps, does it?
20
00:01:40,225 --> 00:01:42,936
Of course, you don't answer.
21
00:01:43,103 --> 00:01:44,396
Whoops.
22
00:01:44,563 --> 00:01:46,148
'Cause you're dead!
23
00:01:50,027 --> 00:01:52,529
I I just died in your arms tonight... I
24
00:01:54,865 --> 00:01:56,658
this is bullshit.
25
00:01:57,534 --> 00:01:59,411
Pablo didn't have to die.
26
00:02:00,746 --> 00:02:03,415
- I should've saved him.
- You couldn't have.
27
00:02:04,541 --> 00:02:07,127
It was the only way.
28
00:02:07,294 --> 00:02:10,547
- Everybody dies.
- Yeah, easy for you to say.
29
00:02:10,714 --> 00:02:12,716
Pablo's entire lifespan
30
00:02:12,883 --> 00:02:15,260
measured about a second
compared to yours.
31
00:02:15,427 --> 00:02:17,596
Didn't he make that second count?
32
00:02:19,723 --> 00:02:23,393
In defeating baal, he achieved
more than I did in thousands of years.
33
00:02:27,230 --> 00:02:30,734
Oh, man, you can really taste
the angel dust.
34
00:02:32,903 --> 00:02:35,530
Ah, but no matter how baked I get,
35
00:02:35,697 --> 00:02:37,407
you're still gone, buddy.
36
00:02:37,574 --> 00:02:40,994
Man, I wish I could just
go back in time and undo all this.
37
00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:43,789
Pablo: So just do it.
38
00:02:45,624 --> 00:02:47,751
- Hey.
- Hey.
39
00:02:47,918 --> 00:02:50,629
"Do it"? Do what?
40
00:02:50,796 --> 00:02:53,840
If you could go back in time
and change one moment in your life,
41
00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:56,426
- what would it be?
- Oh, no-brainer.
42
00:02:56,593 --> 00:02:59,346
The moment I picked up
the stupid book at the cabin.
43
00:02:59,513 --> 00:03:00,639
So just change it.
44
00:03:00,806 --> 00:03:02,974
Make sure you never,
ever pick up that book.
45
00:03:03,141 --> 00:03:06,061
Like ever.
46
00:03:06,228 --> 00:03:08,647
That's a good one.
47
00:03:09,606 --> 00:03:12,734
- How?
- Do exactly what you said.
48
00:03:13,485 --> 00:03:16,780
Go back in time
and undo all this.
49
00:03:16,947 --> 00:03:18,532
Of course! I've done it before.
50
00:03:18,699 --> 00:03:20,426
- I went to the middle ages.
- Yeah.
51
00:03:20,450 --> 00:03:22,661
And I can go back in time,
change history,
52
00:03:22,828 --> 00:03:24,913
fix all this,
and you'll be alive again, Pablo.
53
00:03:37,092 --> 00:03:40,053
Get in the car!
54
00:03:42,305 --> 00:03:46,017
Okay, I need you
to read this right now.
55
00:03:46,184 --> 00:03:47,978
Absolutely not.
56
00:03:48,145 --> 00:03:49,730
- Too risky.
- Read it.
57
00:03:49,896 --> 00:03:53,108
Ash, even if it works, we could damage
so much more than we can fix.
58
00:03:53,275 --> 00:03:54,860
Hey, guys, can you stop
speaking in code
59
00:03:55,026 --> 00:03:56,629
and tell me what the fuck
you're talking about?
60
00:03:56,653 --> 00:03:58,947
I'll do you one better.
I'll show you.
61
00:04:06,371 --> 00:04:07,998
Ash, you're upset.
62
00:04:08,165 --> 00:04:10,167
You should not
be behind the wheel of a car.
63
00:04:10,333 --> 00:04:13,044
Yes, I'm upset.
Yes, I'm behind the wheel.
64
00:04:13,211 --> 00:04:14,337
Yes, I'm drunk.
65
00:04:14,504 --> 00:04:17,716
And maybe my license
isn't the fancy kind from the dmv,
66
00:04:17,883 --> 00:04:19,050
but at least I'm drunk!
67
00:04:19,217 --> 00:04:21,094
Now, you better read
that spell right now,
68
00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:22,846
or we're all going to meet Pablo!
69
00:04:28,310 --> 00:04:30,103
Ash, stop the fucking car.
70
00:04:32,522 --> 00:04:35,692
Just do what he says!
He's thinking even less than usual!
71
00:04:38,612 --> 00:04:41,615
She's doing it!
Stop the fucking car!
72
00:04:41,782 --> 00:04:44,159
- She's reading it!
- Not until she's done!
73
00:04:46,036 --> 00:04:48,330
Linda, I'm going to
fix everything,
74
00:04:48,497 --> 00:04:50,791
and come back for you!
75
00:04:53,919 --> 00:04:57,547
Hey, if Linda didn't hear that,
could someone please tell her?!
76
00:05:35,710 --> 00:05:37,879
Car wash!
77
00:05:39,756 --> 00:05:41,925
What the actual fuck?
78
00:05:42,092 --> 00:05:44,719
- Welcome to the '803, kid.
- We're in the '80s?
79
00:05:44,886 --> 00:05:47,013
Kelly: As in the 1980s?
80
00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:48,723
1982. Come on, Kelly. Keep up.
81
00:05:48,890 --> 00:05:50,600
But" how?
82
00:05:50,767 --> 00:05:53,979
There are infinite timelines,
and always a primary present you,
83
00:05:54,145 --> 00:05:55,915
which remains constant,
but the necronomicon...
84
00:05:55,939 --> 00:05:57,440
- Boring.
- I'd like the explanation.
85
00:05:57,607 --> 00:06:00,110
Okay, look, if young me
never reads from that book,
86
00:06:00,277 --> 00:06:03,113
then evil will not plague my life,
and Pablo will be alive again.
87
00:06:03,280 --> 00:06:04,823
That's all you have to understand.
88
00:06:04,990 --> 00:06:06,116
- He's right.
- 'Course I am.
89
00:06:06,283 --> 00:06:07,951
Wait a minute.
My dad's around here.
90
00:06:08,118 --> 00:06:10,495
- I got to see the old bird.
- Don't you dare.
91
00:06:10,662 --> 00:06:13,832
That kind of interaction could cause
profound causality paradoxes.
92
00:06:13,999 --> 00:06:17,002
Think about it.
I know the sports scores for 30 years.
93
00:06:17,168 --> 00:06:18,503
- No.
- Jeez.
94
00:06:18,670 --> 00:06:21,423
Okay, so, now that
we've time travelled,
95
00:06:21,590 --> 00:06:23,925
we just go back to the cabin
96
00:06:24,092 --> 00:06:26,172
to snatch the book before
young ash can read from it.
97
00:06:26,303 --> 00:06:28,013
And that's all we do. Got it?
98
00:06:28,179 --> 00:06:31,499
I'm just saying this is the year the lions
got in the playoffs with a losing record.
99
00:06:31,641 --> 00:06:34,227
- We can make some serious scratch.
- Both: No.
100
00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:36,897
- Ash: Wow.
- Wh-where... where...
101
00:06:37,063 --> 00:06:38,231
- Oh.
- How-how...
102
00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:40,525
Don't worry about it, pal.
Here you go.
103
00:06:40,692 --> 00:06:42,532
That'll help you forget
that you just saw a car
104
00:06:42,652 --> 00:06:44,372
drive through a time portal
from the future.
105
00:06:44,487 --> 00:06:46,531
No, no, I can't drink.
My family has a history...
106
00:06:46,698 --> 00:06:49,618
Come on. One little nip.
Your life will be exactly the same.
107
00:06:49,784 --> 00:06:51,494
Come on. Let's change history.
108
00:06:58,460 --> 00:07:01,379
I don't stop believin'... I
109
00:07:01,546 --> 00:07:04,049
come on. Come on.
Out of the way, safety boy!
110
00:07:04,215 --> 00:07:05,926
Whoa!
111
00:07:06,092 --> 00:07:07,719
- Hey!
- I streetlights I
112
00:07:07,886 --> 00:07:10,639
I people I
113
00:07:14,476 --> 00:07:18,229
I don't stop believin' I
114
00:07:18,396 --> 00:07:21,524
I hold on I
115
00:07:22,484 --> 00:07:24,027
I streetlights I
116
00:07:24,194 --> 00:07:30,241
I people I
117
00:07:30,408 --> 00:07:31,826
I don't stop I
118
00:07:37,832 --> 00:07:39,584
Now, don't you worry,
my little burrito.
119
00:07:39,751 --> 00:07:41,791
You'll be safe in this trunk
while we change history
120
00:07:41,878 --> 00:07:43,088
and bring you back to life.
121
00:07:43,254 --> 00:07:45,048
Kelly, got the letter I wrote?
122
00:07:48,802 --> 00:07:51,554
"Don't panic. It's 1982.
We're in the cabin.
123
00:07:51,721 --> 00:07:53,723
If your..." No apostrophe.
124
00:07:53,890 --> 00:07:56,393
"Reading this, you're not dead.
125
00:07:56,559 --> 00:07:59,062
P.s., you were dead."
126
00:07:59,229 --> 00:08:00,313
Perfect.
127
00:08:01,564 --> 00:08:03,650
- All right.
- Dude, how are you smiling?
128
00:08:03,817 --> 00:08:06,236
- Pablo's dead.
- Because this is temporary.
129
00:08:06,403 --> 00:08:08,613
Because I came up with
a sweet plan to get him back?
130
00:08:08,780 --> 00:08:11,180
As sweet as your plan
that got him killed in the first place?
131
00:08:11,241 --> 00:08:12,718
Hey, that plan worked.
132
00:08:12,742 --> 00:08:14,285
We defeated baal.
133
00:08:14,452 --> 00:08:16,746
And this plan's going to...
134
00:08:26,798 --> 00:08:28,758
I haven't been to the cabin yet.
135
00:08:28,925 --> 00:08:30,645
I haven't read from the book.
136
00:08:30,760 --> 00:08:33,555
- This can't be happening.
- Apparently it can.
137
00:08:37,517 --> 00:08:38,518
Run!
138
00:09:53,676 --> 00:09:55,762
Still got it.
139
00:09:58,264 --> 00:10:00,475
Oh, hell.
140
00:10:07,857 --> 00:10:10,568
My evil mistress in the woods.
141
00:10:11,528 --> 00:10:13,154
This is going to be our last tango.
142
00:10:13,321 --> 00:10:15,031
And this time,
143
00:10:15,198 --> 00:10:17,951
you're going to follow
my lead, biotch.
144
00:10:19,536 --> 00:10:22,330
Okay, book, book, book.
Who's got the...
145
00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:28,628
Wait a minute.
146
00:10:28,795 --> 00:10:30,213
I thought it was here.
147
00:10:34,509 --> 00:10:38,263
Or did I find it in the cellar...
With Scott?
148
00:10:40,223 --> 00:10:43,101
Oh! Oh, you.
149
00:10:43,268 --> 00:10:45,645
Okay, ash.
150
00:10:45,812 --> 00:10:47,730
It's just a stupid nail.
151
00:10:47,897 --> 00:10:49,691
Stay focused.
152
00:10:51,401 --> 00:10:53,361
I'm checking you last.
153
00:10:56,364 --> 00:10:58,199
Kelly: Ash!
154
00:11:00,243 --> 00:11:03,997
I swear, he's like a superhero whose
special power is "ruining everything."
155
00:11:04,164 --> 00:11:05,790
As much as it pains me to say it,
156
00:11:05,957 --> 00:11:08,626
he's proven himself
to be inexplicably effective.
157
00:11:08,793 --> 00:11:12,964
I'm guessing that English is your second
or third language next to sumerian
158
00:11:13,131 --> 00:11:14,924
or she-devil or whatever...
159
00:11:15,091 --> 00:11:16,885
But that's not effectiveness.
160
00:11:18,219 --> 00:11:19,888
It's called dumb luck.
161
00:11:29,898 --> 00:11:31,900
Oh. Oh!
162
00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:54,631
There's got to be a better way.
163
00:11:58,218 --> 00:11:59,552
Yeah.
164
00:11:59,719 --> 00:12:01,804
Kind of like an evil snake bite.
165
00:12:15,652 --> 00:12:17,528
Too salty.
166
00:12:41,886 --> 00:12:44,347
Get out!
167
00:12:44,514 --> 00:12:46,099
Ooh!
168
00:13:01,447 --> 00:13:04,200
Time to spice up your life, huh?!
169
00:13:10,373 --> 00:13:12,083
You like it hot?!
You like it hot?!
170
00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:22,343
Ow! Soup's on!
171
00:13:38,067 --> 00:13:39,152
Whoa!
172
00:13:39,319 --> 00:13:40,737
Fuck you, ash! Fuck you!
173
00:13:42,238 --> 00:13:44,115
Fuck you, motherfucker!
174
00:13:44,282 --> 00:13:46,117
Hey, little guy.
175
00:13:46,284 --> 00:13:47,910
How do you like your eggs?
Scrambled?!
176
00:13:50,079 --> 00:13:52,165
Yeah.
177
00:13:52,332 --> 00:13:54,500
All right, who's next?!
178
00:13:54,667 --> 00:13:56,419
Who's next?!
179
00:13:57,670 --> 00:13:59,255
Woman: Hello?
180
00:14:00,340 --> 00:14:02,091
Is somebody out there?
181
00:14:03,343 --> 00:14:04,761
Please!
182
00:14:04,927 --> 00:14:06,763
Help me!
183
00:14:07,722 --> 00:14:09,098
Please!
184
00:14:09,265 --> 00:14:10,892
I'm trapped!
185
00:14:33,915 --> 00:14:35,375
Kelly: Incredible.
186
00:14:35,541 --> 00:14:36,959
We didn't even make it to the cabin
187
00:14:37,126 --> 00:14:40,046
before ash's brilliant plan
freaked the toaster.
188
00:14:40,213 --> 00:14:43,132
You know once we destroy the book,
you don't have to follow him anymore.
189
00:14:43,299 --> 00:14:45,134
You can forge your own path.
190
00:14:45,301 --> 00:14:46,969
Who says I'm not already forging?
191
00:14:47,136 --> 00:14:49,180
I make my own choices, okay?
192
00:14:49,347 --> 00:14:52,558
I could forge the shit
out of my path, if I wanted to.
193
00:14:52,725 --> 00:14:54,143
I don't doubt it.
194
00:14:54,310 --> 00:14:57,855
Whoever's following us,
come out now,
195
00:14:58,022 --> 00:15:00,608
or I start spraying!
196
00:15:02,402 --> 00:15:04,070
Let's keep going, huh?
197
00:16:03,296 --> 00:16:05,548
Who's there?
198
00:16:06,883 --> 00:16:10,553
- Woman: Please. Help.
- Who is that?
199
00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:12,406
Woman: He's chained me up
and he won't let me go.
200
00:16:12,430 --> 00:16:14,557
Who chained you up?
201
00:16:14,724 --> 00:16:17,894
- I said who chained you up?
- My husband.
202
00:16:18,060 --> 00:16:20,646
He's going to kill me.
203
00:16:24,317 --> 00:16:26,819
Oh, Jesus! Henrietta.
204
00:16:29,363 --> 00:16:32,074
- How do I know you?
- We've met before.
205
00:16:32,241 --> 00:16:34,243
Uh, actually, not yet.
Not for you, anyway.
206
00:16:34,410 --> 00:16:35,828
Please let me go.
207
00:16:35,995 --> 00:16:39,457
My husband,
he's found some book of the dead.
208
00:16:39,624 --> 00:16:42,418
And I don't know,
it's changed him somehow.
209
00:16:42,585 --> 00:16:44,337
- Where's the book now?
- I have no idea.
210
00:16:44,504 --> 00:16:47,924
I'm chained to the damn wall!
I can help you find it.
211
00:16:48,090 --> 00:16:50,510
Please, let me go,
before he kills us both.
212
00:16:50,676 --> 00:16:52,762
There's a key there on the table.
213
00:16:55,056 --> 00:16:56,474
Please!
214
00:16:58,267 --> 00:16:59,685
How dare you.
215
00:16:59,852 --> 00:17:01,687
Hiding inside a little old lady.
216
00:17:01,854 --> 00:17:04,273
You must take me for a grade-a chump!
217
00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:05,816
What are you doing?
218
00:17:05,983 --> 00:17:08,277
Listen up, cupcake, I'm from the future.
219
00:17:08,444 --> 00:17:11,322
So all of your deadite mumbo jumbo
isn't new to me.
220
00:17:11,489 --> 00:17:15,034
You can pop now, you can pop later,
I don't give a rat's ass.
221
00:17:15,201 --> 00:17:16,577
All I care about is that book,
222
00:17:16,744 --> 00:17:18,746
and you're going to tell me
where it is right now!
223
00:17:18,913 --> 00:17:21,874
Ow! Stop!
You're worse than my husband!
224
00:17:23,292 --> 00:17:25,503
I can do this all day, sugar lips.
225
00:17:30,675 --> 00:17:32,927
It's him.
226
00:17:41,644 --> 00:17:43,479
Man:
Welcome to my cabin in the woods.
227
00:17:43,646 --> 00:17:45,022
It is.
228
00:17:45,189 --> 00:17:46,482
Woman: It's really nice.
229
00:17:46,649 --> 00:17:48,985
Looks like he's got a hot
little number on the side, too.
230
00:17:49,151 --> 00:17:52,989
Good for him.
I mean, uh, men are such pigs.
231
00:17:53,155 --> 00:17:56,659
He's going to torture her,
just like he tortured me.
232
00:17:56,826 --> 00:18:00,329
Professor knowby, I can't thank you
enough for the extra credit.
233
00:18:00,496 --> 00:18:03,457
You're a good student.
You deserve it.
234
00:18:04,750 --> 00:18:08,504
Now, your roommates aren't
going to be worried about you
235
00:18:08,671 --> 00:18:10,172
being away for the weekend?
236
00:18:10,339 --> 00:18:12,383
Oh, well, I live alone.
237
00:18:12,550 --> 00:18:16,304
I had a cat, but it just ran away
for absolutely no reason.
238
00:18:16,470 --> 00:18:18,806
So, it's really just me.
239
00:18:18,973 --> 00:18:20,766
More time to focus on your work.
240
00:18:26,188 --> 00:18:27,648
It's just the wind.
241
00:18:30,026 --> 00:18:33,029
Now, before we start
these translations,
242
00:18:33,195 --> 00:18:36,240
there's just something
I need you to help me with.
243
00:18:37,033 --> 00:18:39,035
Please, there's no time.
The key!
244
00:18:39,201 --> 00:18:41,621
No. Not until I know
where that book is. Now spill.
245
00:18:41,787 --> 00:18:43,372
- Unlock me first.
- Not a chance.
246
00:18:43,539 --> 00:18:46,626
He always keeps it with him,
so the book is here now.
247
00:18:46,792 --> 00:18:49,503
Just let me go
and I'll show you!
248
00:18:49,670 --> 00:18:51,922
Please!
I'm not whatever you think I am!
249
00:18:54,258 --> 00:18:57,595
Please, don't let him
hurt me again.
250
00:18:57,762 --> 00:18:59,555
Professor knowby: Down here.
251
00:19:00,723 --> 00:19:02,850
Woman: Down there?
252
00:19:04,644 --> 00:19:06,270
Gosh, it's cold.
253
00:19:06,437 --> 00:19:09,899
You'll forgive the darkness
and the dirt.
254
00:19:10,983 --> 00:19:12,485
And the cobwebs.
255
00:19:12,652 --> 00:19:15,196
Maybe we should
head back upstairs?
256
00:19:16,489 --> 00:19:18,991
Where there's more... light?
257
00:19:19,158 --> 00:19:21,994
Tanya, I'm sorry.
258
00:19:22,161 --> 00:19:24,205
I fear I may have deceived you.
259
00:19:25,748 --> 00:19:27,792
You're not really here
to help me translate.
260
00:19:28,751 --> 00:19:32,713
What do you mean, professor?
Wh... why am I here?
261
00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:35,216
For something
much more important.
262
00:19:45,559 --> 00:19:46,936
What the fu...
263
00:19:47,103 --> 00:19:48,354
Fuck!
264
00:19:51,482 --> 00:19:53,526
Fuck!
265
00:19:53,693 --> 00:19:55,778
Oh, my dear, I'm so sorry.
266
00:19:55,945 --> 00:19:57,154
Does it hurt?
267
00:19:57,321 --> 00:19:58,614
Can I offer you some ibuprofen?
268
00:19:58,781 --> 00:20:00,658
What?! Yes, it fucking hurts!
269
00:20:02,368 --> 00:20:04,203
Truly, I can't apologize enough.
270
00:20:04,370 --> 00:20:06,330
But this really is my only option.
271
00:20:07,957 --> 00:20:10,459
Jesus... you were right.
272
00:20:10,626 --> 00:20:13,295
- Guy's a dick.
- And he's going to kill her, too.
273
00:20:13,462 --> 00:20:15,423
We need to stop him.
274
00:20:16,882 --> 00:20:19,343
Tanya: Why are you doing this?!
275
00:20:19,510 --> 00:20:20,970
I have no choice.
276
00:20:21,137 --> 00:20:24,306
On my last expedition,
I found the necronomicon.
277
00:20:24,473 --> 00:20:26,976
I became obsessed with its power.
278
00:20:27,143 --> 00:20:29,562
It called to me...
279
00:20:29,729 --> 00:20:31,188
Overtook me.
280
00:20:31,355 --> 00:20:33,983
Please... he's a monster.
281
00:20:34,150 --> 00:20:37,486
So, I read from the book,
and summoned the kandarian demon.
282
00:20:40,072 --> 00:20:42,450
It was magnificent.
283
00:20:43,576 --> 00:20:44,994
Unlike anything I've ever seen.
284
00:20:45,161 --> 00:20:46,620
Okay, I got this. Go hide.
285
00:20:46,787 --> 00:20:47,788
Okay.
286
00:20:47,955 --> 00:20:51,125
Until it possessed my wife, henrietta.
287
00:20:51,292 --> 00:20:52,918
That's why she's
chained up down here.
288
00:20:54,462 --> 00:20:56,338
You got to be kidding me.
289
00:20:58,674 --> 00:20:59,717
Nothing else worked.
290
00:20:59,884 --> 00:21:03,679
Maybe I can find a way to get
the demon out of her and into you.
291
00:21:06,223 --> 00:21:08,058
That lying old witch.
292
00:21:11,353 --> 00:21:12,772
' Oh, no.
293
00:21:14,982 --> 00:21:17,943
You brought us home a third.
How naughty of you!
294
00:21:22,323 --> 00:21:24,617
' What?
295
00:21:24,784 --> 00:21:27,536
The book, it's just been opened.
296
00:21:51,894 --> 00:21:54,563
I'm going to stomp you
a new mud hole to suck out your soul!
297
00:21:54,730 --> 00:21:56,315
I should've slapped you harder!
298
00:22:04,490 --> 00:22:05,574
Ruby, help!
299
00:22:10,579 --> 00:22:11,831
Ruby!
300
00:22:14,583 --> 00:22:16,293
Kelly!
301
00:22:20,840 --> 00:22:23,634
That chin of yours
is an easy target!
302
00:22:23,801 --> 00:22:25,970
Yeah?
Now it's my turn, jelly belly.
303
00:22:34,270 --> 00:22:36,105
Help me! Please! Please!
304
00:22:36,272 --> 00:22:38,315
Can you get me out of here?!
305
00:22:44,780 --> 00:22:47,950
Help! Let go!
306
00:22:57,960 --> 00:23:00,254
Stab it in its eye!
307
00:23:15,144 --> 00:23:17,980
The good news is
now I can add "demonic tree"
308
00:23:18,147 --> 00:23:20,787
to the list of things that have tried
to murder me since I met ash.
309
00:23:20,816 --> 00:23:22,651
Could have been worse.
Let's go find him.
310
00:23:24,486 --> 00:23:27,865
Okay! Hey, hey!
311
00:23:28,032 --> 00:23:30,492
Listen to me!
Shouting is not going to loosen the trap.
312
00:23:30,659 --> 00:23:33,078
You got to stop!
313
00:23:35,247 --> 00:23:36,832
Okay, thank you.
314
00:23:36,999 --> 00:23:39,001
Now, looks like
you're stuck in there pretty good.
315
00:23:39,168 --> 00:23:42,838
Good news is if we have to amputate
to get you out, I'm your guy.
316
00:23:43,005 --> 00:23:46,634
It may not seem like it,
but this is your lucky day.
317
00:23:46,800 --> 00:23:49,929
My name is ash Williams.
I'm a hero from the future.
318
00:23:50,095 --> 00:23:52,264
I'm here to save the world
from evil... again.
319
00:23:57,353 --> 00:23:59,897
I'm Tanya.
I'm a student from Wisconsin.
320
00:24:00,064 --> 00:24:01,904
I was here to help the professor
with his book.
321
00:24:02,024 --> 00:24:03,734
Stupid necronomicon!
322
00:24:03,901 --> 00:24:06,070
Jeez, I'm sorry.
323
00:24:06,236 --> 00:24:09,116
That thing has been a festering boil
on my ass for most of my adult life.
324
00:24:09,198 --> 00:24:11,200
But it ends today.
325
00:24:11,367 --> 00:24:13,369
Believe that.
326
00:24:25,047 --> 00:24:26,298
Yep, working on it.
327
00:24:27,383 --> 00:24:30,386
Give me a break, I got one hand!
Jesus!
328
00:24:37,643 --> 00:24:39,937
- Ash, stop!
- I can't!
329
00:24:40,104 --> 00:24:41,814
I can't!
330
00:24:45,359 --> 00:24:47,027
Let go!
331
00:24:47,194 --> 00:24:49,071
I'm stuck!
332
00:24:49,238 --> 00:24:50,614
I'm stuck!
333
00:24:56,036 --> 00:24:57,997
Tanya, stop the professor!
334
00:24:58,163 --> 00:24:59,999
Don't let him take that book!
335
00:25:00,165 --> 00:25:02,543
Bye-bye, dear.
336
00:25:02,710 --> 00:25:04,920
Let's have some fun!
337
00:25:05,087 --> 00:25:06,505
Why wait?
338
00:25:17,641 --> 00:25:19,351
You call that fun?
339
00:25:24,023 --> 00:25:25,524
Professor! Professor, please!
340
00:25:25,691 --> 00:25:27,693
- I'm sorry, Tanya.
- Please!
341
00:25:27,860 --> 00:25:30,320
I'm not normally like this,
I swear!
342
00:25:30,487 --> 00:25:32,990
Oh, you're a fucking asshole!
343
00:25:43,208 --> 00:25:45,627
He's locked the door!
344
00:25:47,796 --> 00:25:50,466
Knowby, you open
this goddamn door!
345
00:25:50,632 --> 00:25:52,885
Get back here!
346
00:25:53,594 --> 00:25:56,972
Boo! I see you!
347
00:25:59,266 --> 00:26:02,352
You're both dirty birds.
348
00:26:03,145 --> 00:26:04,980
And I'm going to hurt you
349
00:26:05,147 --> 00:26:09,735
real, real bad.
350
00:26:10,819 --> 00:26:13,864
I let's get physical, physical I
351
00:26:14,031 --> 00:26:17,159
I I wanna get physical I
352
00:26:17,326 --> 00:26:19,369
I let's get into physical I
353
00:26:19,536 --> 00:26:21,580
I let me hear your body talk I
354
00:26:21,747 --> 00:26:25,667
I your body talk,
let me hear your body talk I
355
00:26:25,834 --> 00:26:29,171
I let's get physical, physical I
356
00:26:29,338 --> 00:26:32,674
I I wanna get physical I
357
00:26:32,841 --> 00:26:34,760
I let's get into physical I
358
00:26:34,927 --> 00:26:37,346
I let me hear your body talk I
359
00:26:37,513 --> 00:26:41,850
I your body talk,
let me hear your body talk I
360
00:27:07,501 --> 00:27:11,505
Created by: A. Vandelay
post haste digital
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