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1
00:00:04,713 --> 00:00:08,717
- Uh-oh.
She's doing it again.
2
00:00:08,800 --> 00:00:10,844
- Phyllis has gotten
into audiobooks,
3
00:00:10,969 --> 00:00:13,596
and lately she's been listening
to "50 Shades of Grey,"
4
00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:15,849
which, if you don't know
what it is,
5
00:00:15,932 --> 00:00:17,934
it's a book about, uh, um--
6
00:00:18,059 --> 00:00:20,562
- It's porn.
- Yeah.
7
00:00:20,729 --> 00:00:22,272
[chair squeaking]
8
00:00:22,313 --> 00:00:24,941
- Seriously? Ugh.
9
00:00:25,025 --> 00:00:26,985
This is unacceptable.
10
00:00:27,068 --> 00:00:29,112
It's officially
a hostile work environment.
11
00:00:29,195 --> 00:00:32,490
- Well, it's unpleasant, but
to be fair, it's not hostile.
12
00:00:32,574 --> 00:00:33,616
- It's disgusting.
13
00:00:33,742 --> 00:00:35,410
It's a disgusting
work environment
14
00:00:35,493 --> 00:00:36,911
and it needs to stop.
15
00:00:36,953 --> 00:00:38,288
- Why?
16
00:00:38,413 --> 00:00:39,664
- Somebody just needs
to get her attention,
17
00:00:39,748 --> 00:00:40,790
tell her it's not okay
to do this in public.
18
00:00:40,874 --> 00:00:42,375
- Be careful.
19
00:00:42,500 --> 00:00:44,461
I pulled my mom's dog off
the pillow once, and I got bit.
20
00:00:44,502 --> 00:00:46,588
- Just ignore her.
Sooner or later, she'll finish.
21
00:00:46,671 --> 00:00:47,922
[all groaning]
- Oh, God.
22
00:00:48,006 --> 00:00:50,008
- Phyllis, pick up
your damn phone.
23
00:00:50,091 --> 00:00:51,468
[phone ringing]
24
00:00:51,551 --> 00:00:52,594
Phyllis!
25
00:00:52,719 --> 00:00:54,179
- She's rounding third.
26
00:00:54,220 --> 00:00:55,805
[all groaning]
Coming home.
27
00:00:55,889 --> 00:00:57,015
- What?
28
00:00:57,140 --> 00:00:58,933
- Phyllis is masturbating
in the office
29
00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:00,560
right now as we speak.
30
00:01:00,643 --> 00:01:02,062
- Andy, that's an
exaggeration.
31
00:01:02,145 --> 00:01:04,272
Phyllis is not masturbating.
32
00:01:04,356 --> 00:01:07,067
She's just in a state
of extreme sexual arousal.
33
00:01:07,150 --> 00:01:09,361
- Can we skip the color
commentary and just have Andy
34
00:01:09,402 --> 00:01:10,445
go out there
and fire her?
35
00:01:10,528 --> 00:01:12,447
- Oh, he--he can't do that.
36
00:01:12,489 --> 00:01:14,240
Turns out she's allowed
to have feelings
37
00:01:14,324 --> 00:01:15,909
of sexual arousal.
38
00:01:15,992 --> 00:01:17,452
Doesn't become a violation
39
00:01:17,535 --> 00:01:19,245
till she physically
acts on it.
40
00:01:19,371 --> 00:01:20,455
[all groan]
41
00:01:20,538 --> 00:01:21,664
- Toby, how do you propose
that we--
42
00:01:21,748 --> 00:01:23,958
- W-w-wait, wait.
Why is Phyllis so aroused?
43
00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:26,503
- She's listening
to "50 Shades of Grey."
44
00:01:26,628 --> 00:01:29,255
- Well, there you go.
That's muy caliente.
45
00:01:29,339 --> 00:01:32,258
- Okay, you are useless.
I'll take care of this.
46
00:01:34,636 --> 00:01:37,472
- [gasps and sputters]
What the hell?
47
00:01:37,555 --> 00:01:39,641
- It's okay, guys.
She's no longer horny.
48
00:01:39,766 --> 00:01:41,518
- Excuse me,
dirty birdie.
49
00:01:41,601 --> 00:01:43,186
- What?
50
00:01:43,269 --> 00:01:46,523
- You can have this back
at the end of the day.
51
00:01:46,606 --> 00:01:47,899
- Okay.
52
00:01:50,068 --> 00:01:51,069
- [screams]
53
00:01:51,152 --> 00:01:54,531
[upbeat music]
54
00:01:54,656 --> 00:01:57,617
? ?
55
00:02:04,541 --> 00:02:05,417
{\an8}- Pam?
56
00:02:05,500 --> 00:02:07,794
{\an8}- Yeah?
57
00:02:07,919 --> 00:02:08,962
{\an8}- Never mind.
58
00:02:09,045 --> 00:02:11,214
{\an8}Clark, you're young, right?
59
00:02:11,297 --> 00:02:12,215
{\an8}- Okay.
60
00:02:12,298 --> 00:02:13,299
{\an8}- Yeah.
61
00:02:13,383 --> 00:02:14,634
{\an8}- So you know about women.
62
00:02:14,759 --> 00:02:16,219
{\an8}Guy with your looks?
63
00:02:16,261 --> 00:02:17,929
{\an8}- You know it.
64
00:02:17,971 --> 00:02:20,223
{\an8}- Well, I need your advice.
I'm having some lady troubles.
65
00:02:20,348 --> 00:02:22,684
{\an8}- What's her name?
- Esther Bruegger.
66
00:02:22,726 --> 00:02:24,019
{\an8}- Sweet.
67
00:02:24,102 --> 00:02:24,936
{\an8}- Lives on
the neighboring farm.
68
00:02:25,020 --> 00:02:26,104
{\an8}85 acres.
69
00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:27,689
{\an8}- Oh, yeah.
Keep talking.
70
00:02:27,814 --> 00:02:29,524
{\an8}- Well, we've been out
three times.
71
00:02:29,607 --> 00:02:31,526
{\an8}There has been physicality.
72
00:02:31,609 --> 00:02:33,111
{\an8}The thing is,
we were hanging out
73
00:02:33,194 --> 00:02:34,654
{\an8}with her father the other night
looking at a farm catalogue,
74
00:02:34,779 --> 00:02:37,866
{\an8}next thing I know, he wants
to lease a tractor with me.
75
00:02:37,907 --> 00:02:39,159
{\an8}- Ugh.
76
00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:43,163
{\an8}- [laughs]
What do you think?
77
00:02:43,204 --> 00:02:44,956
{\an8}- The same thing
that you think.
78
00:02:44,998 --> 00:02:47,959
{\an8}- Long-term tractor leases can
put pressure on a relationship.
79
00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:49,127
{\an8}- God, a lot of my buddies
80
00:02:49,252 --> 00:02:50,378
{\an8}are going through
the same thing right now.
81
00:02:50,503 --> 00:02:51,755
{\an8}Something in the air.
82
00:02:51,838 --> 00:02:53,048
{\an8}- Here you go.
83
00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:55,008
{\an8}And good for you, Dwight.
84
00:02:55,050 --> 00:02:56,968
{\an8}I'm so glad
you found someone.
85
00:02:57,010 --> 00:02:59,262
{\an8}I bet she's got kind eyes.
86
00:02:59,304 --> 00:03:02,766
{\an8}Dwight is dating a brussels
sprout farmer named Esther.
87
00:03:02,807 --> 00:03:05,060
{\an8}She's coming here this
afternoon with her father.
88
00:03:05,101 --> 00:03:06,394
{\an8}Who knows?
89
00:03:06,478 --> 00:03:08,063
{\an8}Maybe she'll be pulling
the horse cart.
90
00:03:08,104 --> 00:03:10,106
{\an8}[laughs]
91
00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:12,192
{\an8}[amused sigh]
92
00:03:13,026 --> 00:03:15,362
{\an8}- Cece has been calling me
Pamela.
93
00:03:15,445 --> 00:03:16,738
{\an8}Like, four times this week.
94
00:03:16,780 --> 00:03:18,031
{\an8}- Oh, man.
95
00:03:18,156 --> 00:03:19,449
{\an8}[chuckles]
96
00:03:19,532 --> 00:03:21,034
{\an8}- I wonder if she'll
start calling you Jim.
97
00:03:21,117 --> 00:03:22,911
{\an8}- Oh, boy.
Please don't.
98
00:03:22,994 --> 00:03:25,705
{\an8}- I know.
- Let's not let that happen.
99
00:03:25,789 --> 00:03:29,125
{\an8}- [chuckles] Um...
100
00:03:29,209 --> 00:03:32,212
{\an8}- Oh, what was I gonna--
what was I gonna say?
101
00:03:32,295 --> 00:03:33,588
{\an8}- Well, you know,
your assistant told me
102
00:03:33,630 --> 00:03:35,799
{\an8}that you have
a big pitch meeting today.
103
00:03:35,924 --> 00:03:38,760
{\an8}With Ryan Howard.
How did that happen?
104
00:03:38,885 --> 00:03:40,720
{\an8}- Not that Ryan Howard.
105
00:03:40,804 --> 00:03:41,680
{\an8}The Phillies first baseman.
106
00:03:41,763 --> 00:03:42,722
{\an8}Actually.
- Oh! Oh, okay.
107
00:03:42,847 --> 00:03:44,307
{\an8}- Yeah, yeah.
108
00:03:44,349 --> 00:03:48,311
{\an8}The National League MVP of 2006
is a little bit different
109
00:03:48,395 --> 00:03:51,564
{\an8}than the guy who
gave 2006 girls HPV.
110
00:03:51,606 --> 00:03:55,110
{\an8}- [laughs]
Yes, well, thank goodness.
111
00:03:55,151 --> 00:03:56,027
{\an8}- Exactly.
112
00:03:56,111 --> 00:03:58,321
{\an8}- [sighs]
113
00:03:58,405 --> 00:04:00,573
{\an8}Um, okay.
114
00:04:00,699 --> 00:04:01,908
{\an8}Well...
- Yeah.
115
00:04:01,991 --> 00:04:04,119
{\an8}So I'll talk to you later?
116
00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:05,370
{\an8}- Yeah, sounds good.
Okay.
117
00:04:05,412 --> 00:04:06,287
{\an8}- Okay, great.
- Yup.
118
00:04:06,329 --> 00:04:07,622
{\an8}Both: bye.
119
00:04:10,208 --> 00:04:13,503
{\an8}- So I'm in the park.
I'm there to look at the sky.
120
00:04:13,545 --> 00:04:16,589
{\an8}And wham, a plane flies by
with a banner behind it
121
00:04:16,673 --> 00:04:18,466
{\an8}and suddenly, I'm reading?
122
00:04:18,550 --> 00:04:20,385
{\an8}- Oh, no I totally disagree.
123
00:04:20,468 --> 00:04:22,137
{\an8}I hate looking at the sky
124
00:04:22,220 --> 00:04:23,513
{\an8}if there is nothing there
to distract me.
125
00:04:23,596 --> 00:04:25,223
It is so boring.
126
00:04:25,348 --> 00:04:27,017
- How do you feel about fortune
cookies?
127
00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:28,810
- Oh, they terrify me.
128
00:04:28,852 --> 00:04:30,812
I just pop
the whole cookie in my mouth
129
00:04:30,895 --> 00:04:32,022
and then I chew up the paper
as well.
130
00:04:32,063 --> 00:04:32,897
[phone buzzing]
131
00:04:32,981 --> 00:04:34,357
- Mm, no.
132
00:04:34,441 --> 00:04:37,193
I read those, but I like
adding, "in a cookie."
133
00:04:37,235 --> 00:04:40,447
So like, "You will travel
the world in a cookie."
134
00:04:40,572 --> 00:04:41,823
- Hey, guys.
135
00:04:41,865 --> 00:04:43,491
I just got the weirdest text
from Broccoli Rob.
136
00:04:43,616 --> 00:04:45,368
"Congrats, Hollywood.
137
00:04:45,493 --> 00:04:47,579
I always knew you'd make it
on the idiot box.
138
00:04:47,746 --> 00:04:51,833
Yours in bro love,
Bobby Brocs."
139
00:04:51,875 --> 00:04:53,418
- Hmm. Mm.
140
00:04:54,878 --> 00:04:56,838
- Try adding, "In a cookie."
141
00:04:56,880 --> 00:04:59,049
- All right,
let's rehearse this thing.
142
00:04:59,090 --> 00:05:00,425
[clears throat]
143
00:05:00,508 --> 00:05:01,551
- Pleased to meet you.
I'm Ryan Howard.
144
00:05:01,634 --> 00:05:03,219
- Ryan, how you doing?
Jim Halpert.
145
00:05:03,261 --> 00:05:05,055
- How can I shake your
right hand when I'm a leftie?
146
00:05:05,096 --> 00:05:07,474
- That doesn't make sense
because you bat leftie.
147
00:05:07,515 --> 00:05:08,683
Hand-shaking has nothing
to do with it.
148
00:05:08,808 --> 00:05:10,185
- [chuckles] Oh.
149
00:05:10,352 --> 00:05:12,604
So what can you do for
a sports professional like me?
150
00:05:12,729 --> 00:05:14,147
I've already got
a million endorsements.
151
00:05:14,230 --> 00:05:15,190
- I see here you just scored
152
00:05:15,315 --> 00:05:16,858
a lucrative new contract
with Subway.
153
00:05:16,941 --> 00:05:18,526
- Try the footlong
turkey topping combo.
154
00:05:18,693 --> 00:05:20,236
It's pretty good.
155
00:05:20,362 --> 00:05:22,572
- Sorry, was that Darryl
or Ryan talking?
156
00:05:22,655 --> 00:05:24,240
- Both.
157
00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:25,367
- Okay.
158
00:05:25,450 --> 00:05:26,868
- Now tell me,
who's the handsome
159
00:05:26,910 --> 00:05:28,703
African American gentleman
who works with you?
160
00:05:28,870 --> 00:05:29,871
I like his style.
161
00:05:29,954 --> 00:05:31,664
- You must mean Colin.
162
00:05:31,790 --> 00:05:32,999
- That's cold, Jim.
163
00:05:33,041 --> 00:05:35,043
Colin is not even
in my universe.
164
00:05:39,130 --> 00:05:41,966
[upbeat music playing]
[laughter]
165
00:05:42,008 --> 00:05:43,551
- Hey, what's going on?
166
00:05:43,593 --> 00:05:46,763
Ooh, did Gangnam Style
put out a new song?
167
00:05:46,805 --> 00:05:49,849
- There's a promo for
the documentary on the web.
168
00:05:49,974 --> 00:05:53,019
- Play it again.
169
00:05:53,061 --> 00:05:55,605
[upbeat guitar music playing]
170
00:05:55,647 --> 00:05:56,606
- The boss.
171
00:05:56,648 --> 00:05:58,191
- Oh, hey.
- Aw.
172
00:05:58,274 --> 00:06:00,110
- There's Michael.
- Idiot.
173
00:06:00,151 --> 00:06:03,113
- The workers.
174
00:06:03,238 --> 00:06:05,532
? ?
175
00:06:05,657 --> 00:06:07,450
The lives.
176
00:06:07,534 --> 00:06:09,411
? ?
177
00:06:09,494 --> 00:06:12,622
The loves.
178
00:06:12,747 --> 00:06:14,457
? ?
179
00:06:14,499 --> 00:06:15,834
The people.
180
00:06:15,917 --> 00:06:20,964
? ?
181
00:06:21,006 --> 00:06:23,633
The paper.
182
00:06:23,758 --> 00:06:29,681
? ?
183
00:06:29,764 --> 00:06:33,685
The office:
an American workplace.
184
00:06:33,727 --> 00:06:36,312
Coming soon on WVIA.
185
00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:37,605
- Whoa.
186
00:06:37,647 --> 00:06:40,025
You go to the bathroom
for 45 minutes,
187
00:06:40,108 --> 00:06:42,777
and everything changes.
188
00:06:42,902 --> 00:06:44,946
This is a documentary?
189
00:06:44,988 --> 00:06:46,573
Oh.
190
00:06:46,698 --> 00:06:51,369
I always thought we were, like,
specimens in a human zoo.
191
00:06:53,163 --> 00:06:56,708
But a documentary
makes way more sense.
192
00:06:56,791 --> 00:06:58,752
- If you're watching the
documentary, you know my deal.
193
00:06:58,793 --> 00:07:01,713
Hit me up at
meredith@gpostmail.com.
194
00:07:01,796 --> 00:07:03,173
Or just come over.
195
00:07:03,256 --> 00:07:04,507
And show a little class.
196
00:07:04,549 --> 00:07:06,634
Bring some Pringles.
197
00:07:06,718 --> 00:07:09,137
- Oh, more celebrity.
198
00:07:09,179 --> 00:07:11,014
As if being
the widely recognized wife
199
00:07:11,139 --> 00:07:14,517
of a senator
isn't limelight enough.
200
00:07:14,642 --> 00:07:16,311
The other day
at the grocery store,
201
00:07:16,353 --> 00:07:18,146
they opened up another register
for me.
202
00:07:18,229 --> 00:07:20,398
It is embarrassing.
203
00:07:20,482 --> 00:07:23,818
- Hi, Sasha.
Look, your daddy's on TV.
204
00:07:23,860 --> 00:07:26,196
Your real daddy,
not your mommy's boyfriend.
205
00:07:26,321 --> 00:07:28,823
Please go back
to calling him Jamie.
206
00:07:32,285 --> 00:07:35,163
[keyboard clicking]
207
00:07:38,041 --> 00:07:41,252
- Did you see this?
208
00:07:41,378 --> 00:07:43,254
- Your screen is all black.
209
00:07:43,338 --> 00:07:46,758
You just
unplugged your computer.
210
00:07:48,343 --> 00:07:51,221
[upbeat music playing]
211
00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:53,056
- Oh, my God.
Is that you and Jim?
212
00:07:53,139 --> 00:07:54,307
- Uh-huh.
213
00:07:54,391 --> 00:07:57,227
- Jeez. You fell
in love with that hair?
214
00:07:57,310 --> 00:07:59,396
Really?
[chuckles]
215
00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:01,523
Yikes.
216
00:08:01,606 --> 00:08:03,817
That is awful.
217
00:08:05,402 --> 00:08:07,153
- It wasn't so bad.
218
00:08:07,195 --> 00:08:08,988
- Guys, are you reading
the online comments?
219
00:08:09,072 --> 00:08:11,616
Somebody commented
on my banjo playing.
220
00:08:11,741 --> 00:08:13,451
"Banjo at 0:19 is a'ight."
221
00:08:13,576 --> 00:08:16,788
Internet, calm down!
[chuckles]
222
00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:18,915
I must have really connected
with this guy.
223
00:08:18,998 --> 00:08:20,083
I mean, that's a guy's name, right?
224
00:08:20,208 --> 00:08:21,876
Chobblegobbler?
225
00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:26,548
[elevator dings]
226
00:08:29,259 --> 00:08:30,635
- Hey, man, how you doing?
Jim Halpert.
227
00:08:30,719 --> 00:08:32,137
- Nice to meet you.
Eat fresh.
228
00:08:32,178 --> 00:08:33,763
- Hey, man. Darryl.
- Hey, man. Ryan.
229
00:08:33,847 --> 00:08:35,598
Nice to meet you.
Eat fresh.
230
00:08:35,682 --> 00:08:37,267
Eat fresh.
[clicks tongue]
231
00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:39,519
- Let's go
to the conference room.
232
00:08:43,398 --> 00:08:46,568
- Esther's on her way up.
I wonder if she wants a snack.
233
00:08:46,609 --> 00:08:47,736
Let me see.
234
00:08:47,861 --> 00:08:50,488
I know she likes apples
and carrots.
235
00:08:50,572 --> 00:08:52,115
- I bet she does.
236
00:08:52,198 --> 00:08:53,867
I bet she'll eat 'em
right out of your hand
237
00:08:53,992 --> 00:08:56,119
with those big, strong teeth.
238
00:08:56,703 --> 00:08:58,747
- Did I tell you
about her teeth?
239
00:08:58,872 --> 00:09:00,290
- Hey, Dwight,
you have some guests.
240
00:09:00,415 --> 00:09:02,584
I think they're from the forest
where we harvest our paper.
241
00:09:04,794 --> 00:09:06,296
- [softly]
Yes.
242
00:09:07,005 --> 00:09:09,382
- Ah, the Bruegger family.
Welcome.
243
00:09:09,507 --> 00:09:10,759
- Fine office you have here.
244
00:09:10,842 --> 00:09:11,968
Sturdy walls.
245
00:09:12,052 --> 00:09:13,219
- Yes.
246
00:09:13,345 --> 00:09:16,056
Esther, you look radiant
as always.
247
00:09:19,601 --> 00:09:21,895
Mr. Bruegger, a pleasure.
248
00:09:22,020 --> 00:09:24,647
Bertha, Edna, Irma, and Pip.
249
00:09:24,731 --> 00:09:26,399
Meet the people of the office.
250
00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:29,569
- I'm Clark. I work here.
251
00:09:29,694 --> 00:09:32,280
- Still is as fat in spring.
252
00:09:32,405 --> 00:09:33,782
- Prosperous.
253
00:09:33,823 --> 00:09:35,283
- Okay.
- Hey, Dwight?
254
00:09:35,367 --> 00:09:37,160
- Now that we--yeah?
255
00:09:37,202 --> 00:09:38,953
- Please don't blow this deal.
256
00:09:39,079 --> 00:09:41,331
I need you to be deeply
involved with this family.
257
00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:42,290
- Okay.
258
00:09:44,125 --> 00:09:45,585
- I don't know.
259
00:09:45,669 --> 00:09:47,879
I guess men
find Esther attractive.
260
00:09:47,962 --> 00:09:49,214
I mean, I guess
261
00:09:49,255 --> 00:09:51,257
there's something out there
for everyone.
262
00:09:51,383 --> 00:09:53,093
If there are chubby chasers,
263
00:09:53,218 --> 00:09:56,638
then there are men
that like that thing.
264
00:09:58,223 --> 00:10:01,226
- Weird to see how we used
to look in those promos.
265
00:10:01,309 --> 00:10:03,395
Some of us
have changed so much.
266
00:10:03,520 --> 00:10:05,814
- We've all changed.
267
00:10:09,150 --> 00:10:11,111
- With our firm,
you'll be building equity
268
00:10:11,236 --> 00:10:13,113
for long after they
retire your number.
269
00:10:13,196 --> 00:10:15,699
- And we all know
baseball does not last forever.
270
00:10:15,782 --> 00:10:17,075
- I look
at these actors on TV,
271
00:10:17,117 --> 00:10:19,494
and I think,
"Come on. I can do that."
272
00:10:19,577 --> 00:10:21,663
- Right?
[chuckles]
273
00:10:21,746 --> 00:10:23,373
- Watch this.
274
00:10:23,498 --> 00:10:24,749
Eat fresh.
275
00:10:24,833 --> 00:10:26,918
Now what does that
make you think of?
276
00:10:27,002 --> 00:10:28,294
- Subway sandwiches.
- Yeah.
277
00:10:28,420 --> 00:10:30,797
- How? I didn't say
"Subway sandwiches."
278
00:10:30,839 --> 00:10:32,424
it's called
playing the subtext.
279
00:10:32,507 --> 00:10:35,135
- Wow.
- I actually wrote a screenplay.
280
00:10:35,218 --> 00:10:36,970
It's called The Big Piece.
281
00:10:37,095 --> 00:10:39,097
- Based on his nickname.
I like it already.
282
00:10:39,180 --> 00:10:40,765
Let me guess.
It's autobiographical.
283
00:10:40,849 --> 00:10:43,727
- Half-biopic,
half-superhero movie.
284
00:10:43,810 --> 00:10:46,229
The mild-mannered professional
baseball player Ryan Howard
285
00:10:46,312 --> 00:10:47,355
hits a home run...
- Okay.
286
00:10:47,439 --> 00:10:48,648
- Into outer space.
287
00:10:48,732 --> 00:10:50,817
Ball comes back
with space dust on it,
288
00:10:50,900 --> 00:10:53,069
which transforms him into...
289
00:10:53,153 --> 00:10:54,988
The Big Piece.
- Big Piece.
290
00:10:55,071 --> 00:10:57,115
- The space dust does it.
- Space dust.
291
00:10:57,198 --> 00:10:58,241
- Okay.
- I actually brought
292
00:10:58,324 --> 00:10:59,743
some copies of my script
293
00:10:59,826 --> 00:11:01,369
if you guys want
to read it together.
294
00:11:01,453 --> 00:11:03,246
- Sure, yeah.
[chuckles]
295
00:11:03,371 --> 00:11:05,915
? Hollywood ?
296
00:11:06,041 --> 00:11:07,459
All right.
297
00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:09,336
- Yeah, we're gonna read it.
- Okay, great.
298
00:11:09,419 --> 00:11:12,756
- Andy, are there
documentary groupies?
299
00:11:12,839 --> 00:11:14,049
- Of course there are.
300
00:11:14,132 --> 00:11:15,383
- Of course.
301
00:11:15,508 --> 00:11:16,634
- During my
Here Comes Treble days,
302
00:11:16,718 --> 00:11:18,887
we had a pretty insane groupie.
303
00:11:18,970 --> 00:11:21,598
Well, she was actually insane,
so it was kind of a problem.
304
00:11:21,723 --> 00:11:24,392
- I hope they got footage of me
playing with Scrantonicity.
305
00:11:24,517 --> 00:11:27,228
'cause I know documentaries
can be huge for pay ins.
306
00:11:27,354 --> 00:11:30,231
After The Rolling Stones
saw "Gimme Shelter,"
307
00:11:30,315 --> 00:11:33,651
they were like, we're gonna
continue being huge.
308
00:11:33,735 --> 00:11:35,070
- A little ironic
309
00:11:35,153 --> 00:11:36,863
that I'm gonna be
kind of a TV star,
310
00:11:36,946 --> 00:11:39,199
because my last
Chad Flenderman novel
311
00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:42,911
was based on
a murdered TV star.
312
00:11:43,036 --> 00:11:45,121
The small scream.
- Oh, I don't care.
313
00:11:45,205 --> 00:11:46,539
- I was going to self-publish,
314
00:11:46,623 --> 00:11:48,166
but the company
that prints the books
315
00:11:48,291 --> 00:11:51,378
sent me a rejection letter.
316
00:11:51,461 --> 00:11:53,380
I think things
might change now.
317
00:11:53,463 --> 00:11:54,714
[chuckles]
318
00:11:54,839 --> 00:11:57,258
- Hey, guys,
I just found another promo.
319
00:11:57,342 --> 00:11:59,761
It's in Danish.
- Danish?
320
00:11:59,886 --> 00:12:01,096
- I guess it's gonna
start airing in Denmark.
321
00:12:01,221 --> 00:12:02,472
- Oh, my God.
322
00:12:02,555 --> 00:12:05,517
[announcer speaking Danish]
323
00:12:05,600 --> 00:12:09,229
[upbeat music playing]
324
00:12:09,270 --> 00:12:14,609
? ?
325
00:12:14,693 --> 00:12:16,736
- What was that word they said
when they showed me?
326
00:12:16,820 --> 00:12:19,781
Skrald mand?
What's that mean in Danish?
327
00:12:19,864 --> 00:12:21,533
"Cool guy?"
328
00:12:21,616 --> 00:12:23,451
- "Dumpster man."
329
00:12:23,535 --> 00:12:25,870
- Cool.
Superhero.
330
00:12:25,912 --> 00:12:27,122
- What about me?
331
00:12:27,205 --> 00:12:29,708
- Cloken tre pige.
- Tre pige.
332
00:12:29,791 --> 00:12:31,334
"3:00 P.M. girl."
333
00:12:31,459 --> 00:12:33,086
- What?
334
00:12:33,169 --> 00:12:34,671
Why would they--
w--wait a second.
335
00:12:34,754 --> 00:12:36,381
Wait a second.
What was that?
336
00:12:36,464 --> 00:12:38,883
[typing on keyboard]
[gasps]
337
00:12:38,967 --> 00:12:41,011
I didn't know
they were filming then.
338
00:12:41,136 --> 00:12:43,763
- It looks like the cameraman
was hiding behind the shelves.
339
00:12:43,847 --> 00:12:45,932
- Wait, so they were filming
all the time,
340
00:12:46,016 --> 00:12:47,559
even when we didn't know it?
341
00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:49,227
- Oh, my God.
342
00:12:55,567 --> 00:12:57,527
- There is much more secret
filming than I expected.
343
00:12:57,610 --> 00:12:59,112
[laughing] But I am fine
with it, I mean it.
344
00:12:59,154 --> 00:13:00,822
I am.
- Are you kidding me?
345
00:13:00,864 --> 00:13:01,906
It's like half the show
is secret footage.
346
00:13:01,948 --> 00:13:03,491
- I am a very private person.
347
00:13:03,575 --> 00:13:05,785
I show 'em
when I want to show 'em.
348
00:13:05,869 --> 00:13:07,871
Who wants a taste?
Boob sauce!
349
00:13:08,038 --> 00:13:09,372
- Meredith!
- Come on!
350
00:13:09,497 --> 00:13:10,999
- Oh, my God,
do they film us at night
351
00:13:11,082 --> 00:13:13,209
when we're sleeping?
- Yes, Erin.
352
00:13:13,293 --> 00:13:14,294
They film us at night
when we're sleeping
353
00:13:14,377 --> 00:13:15,253
'cause that makes great TV.
354
00:13:15,295 --> 00:13:16,880
- Hey.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
355
00:13:17,005 --> 00:13:18,590
- Oscar.
- I'm sorry, sweetie.
356
00:13:18,673 --> 00:13:20,467
This whole thing
is just freaking me out.
357
00:13:20,550 --> 00:13:22,594
I have been very honest
with you guys
358
00:13:22,635 --> 00:13:24,804
in a way that could seriously
impact the political career
359
00:13:24,846 --> 00:13:27,015
of a very good friend
of mine.
360
00:13:27,057 --> 00:13:29,559
You're not gonna use
any of that, are you?
361
00:13:29,601 --> 00:13:32,562
- When you're a farmer,
you don't worry about media BS.
362
00:13:32,645 --> 00:13:34,522
It ain't gonna change
the price of beets.
363
00:13:34,647 --> 00:13:36,900
Only real BS is gonna do that.
364
00:13:37,025 --> 00:13:40,820
Man, manure is
so expensive these days.
365
00:13:40,945 --> 00:13:43,448
- People, relax.
366
00:13:43,490 --> 00:13:45,075
We are killing it online.
367
00:13:45,200 --> 00:13:46,576
Have you guys
checked the comments?
368
00:13:46,659 --> 00:13:48,203
Smokethatskinwagon says,
369
00:13:48,286 --> 00:13:50,455
"You guys are killing it."
I mean...
370
00:13:50,622 --> 00:13:53,208
We're internet sensations, guys.
371
00:13:53,249 --> 00:13:55,669
- I think we need to figure out
what's going on.
372
00:13:55,710 --> 00:13:58,088
I might just take
a little walk.
373
00:13:58,171 --> 00:14:02,258
- Yes, a little walk
sounds like a good idea.
374
00:14:02,342 --> 00:14:03,635
- Okay.
375
00:14:06,513 --> 00:14:10,141
[indistinct whispering]
376
00:14:10,225 --> 00:14:11,976
- Okay, everyone,
turn off your mics.
377
00:14:19,234 --> 00:14:21,194
- We need to know more.
Did those shots have sound?
378
00:14:21,236 --> 00:14:23,154
What exactly did they get
on tape?
379
00:14:23,238 --> 00:14:25,448
- I sneezed into my hands
without using Purell
380
00:14:25,573 --> 00:14:26,783
and then dipped
into the candy jar.
381
00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:28,368
Did they film that?
- My first week here,
382
00:14:28,410 --> 00:14:30,036
I sneezed directly
into the candy jar
383
00:14:30,078 --> 00:14:31,329
because I thought
I'd get more--
384
00:14:31,454 --> 00:14:33,581
I thought I'd get more
screen time as a villain.
385
00:14:33,623 --> 00:14:35,667
- Okay, Pam, why don't you
visit your buddy,
386
00:14:35,750 --> 00:14:38,336
the crew guy that got fired,
find out what they got?
387
00:14:38,420 --> 00:14:39,879
- Brian?
- Yeah.
388
00:14:39,921 --> 00:14:42,173
- Yeah, I guess I could.
- Hurry, Pam.
389
00:14:42,257 --> 00:14:44,634
I need to know how much hellfire
is gonna rain down on me.
390
00:14:44,759 --> 00:14:46,219
- I thought Teri knew
about Cynthia.
391
00:14:46,344 --> 00:14:48,430
- She does, but neither of them
know about Lydia.
392
00:14:48,596 --> 00:14:51,016
- Ooh.
- Wow.
393
00:14:51,057 --> 00:14:54,853
- Whoa!
[laughter]
394
00:14:54,936 --> 00:14:56,938
- Whoa, there.
- Okay, so what's this lever do?
395
00:14:56,980 --> 00:14:59,858
- That manipulates
the secondary shaft.
396
00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:01,317
- Oh, the secondary shaft.
397
00:15:01,359 --> 00:15:03,111
[shudders]
Ah-ooga!
398
00:15:03,153 --> 00:15:04,654
[laughter]
399
00:15:04,738 --> 00:15:06,448
- The lift capacity's
up to 2,000 pounds.
400
00:15:06,531 --> 00:15:07,991
That's a lot of beets.
401
00:15:08,033 --> 00:15:10,618
- Not Schrute beets.
They're known for their density.
402
00:15:10,744 --> 00:15:13,288
Drop a Schrute beet on your toe,
you're headed for the ER mister.
403
00:15:13,371 --> 00:15:15,206
- Let's talk terms.
404
00:15:15,290 --> 00:15:18,793
If you agree to a 40-60 split
on this tractor,
405
00:15:18,877 --> 00:15:20,420
I'll store it
in one of my barns.
406
00:15:20,503 --> 00:15:22,881
- Mr. Bruegger, are you trying
to take advantage of me
407
00:15:23,006 --> 00:15:24,466
because I'm interested
in your daughter?
408
00:15:24,591 --> 00:15:27,093
50-50 split, or no deal.
409
00:15:27,177 --> 00:15:30,555
- Esther, get in the truck.
410
00:15:30,638 --> 00:15:32,932
- No, wait--okay, wait.
411
00:15:33,099 --> 00:15:35,852
You win.
412
00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:38,480
- [chuckles]
Let's get the paperwork started.
413
00:15:42,942 --> 00:15:44,694
- We should buy
an auger together.
414
00:15:44,778 --> 00:15:46,404
- Oh.
415
00:15:46,488 --> 00:15:48,531
Yeah.
Yeah, we should do that.
416
00:15:48,573 --> 00:15:50,784
- You would be a great one
to buy an auger with.
417
00:15:54,579 --> 00:15:58,249
- Hello, honey, I just spoke
to the TV repairman,
418
00:15:58,375 --> 00:16:00,418
and he says we need
to keep our TVs turned off
419
00:16:00,502 --> 00:16:01,795
for a couple of months.
420
00:16:01,878 --> 00:16:03,755
Something about the wiring.
421
00:16:03,797 --> 00:16:05,757
- Oh!
Seven new comments.
422
00:16:05,799 --> 00:16:08,426
"The guy at 0:19 is hawt."
423
00:16:08,551 --> 00:16:10,053
- "Hi, BongRipper.
424
00:16:10,136 --> 00:16:12,055
"It's me, Andy,
the guy from 0:19.
425
00:16:12,097 --> 00:16:14,474
"I'm glad that you enjoyed
my work in that promo.
426
00:16:14,557 --> 00:16:16,685
"I really enjoyed
your comment.
427
00:16:16,726 --> 00:16:18,269
"Going to read
some more comments now.
428
00:16:18,353 --> 00:16:19,771
Have a great day!"
429
00:16:21,815 --> 00:16:24,651
"He's not hawt.
He's gay."
430
00:16:30,990 --> 00:16:32,742
"Dear JasonJasonJason,
431
00:16:32,784 --> 00:16:34,035
"it's me, Andy.
432
00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:35,495
"Nice name. Not!
433
00:16:35,620 --> 00:16:37,038
"Guess what?
I'm not gay.
434
00:16:37,122 --> 00:16:39,416
"So you're an idiot!
And I am hawt,
435
00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:42,168
"according to people
on this site who have a brain.
436
00:16:42,252 --> 00:16:45,505
Never comment on this page
ever again."
437
00:16:45,630 --> 00:16:47,090
"He is hawt."
438
00:16:47,215 --> 00:16:49,134
See? Thank you.
That's more like it.
439
00:16:50,969 --> 00:16:54,014
"He is butt."
440
00:16:54,139 --> 00:16:56,516
Agh! Damn it!
441
00:16:56,558 --> 00:16:59,310
I'm about to lose
my freaking mind!
442
00:16:59,352 --> 00:17:02,063
Screw you, TexasPoonTappa!
443
00:17:05,525 --> 00:17:07,694
- Security deposit.
That's been--
444
00:17:07,736 --> 00:17:09,487
- Standard.
- Right. Standard.
445
00:17:09,612 --> 00:17:11,614
- Hey, can I talk to you
for one second?
446
00:17:11,698 --> 00:17:12,907
- Not now.
No. No.
447
00:17:12,991 --> 00:17:14,075
- Just one second.
- No.
448
00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:15,618
- One second.
- I'm closing a deal
449
00:17:15,702 --> 00:17:18,371
on a tractor with the father
of a woman I plan to inseminate.
450
00:17:18,455 --> 00:17:19,789
- Don't do it.
- What?
451
00:17:19,914 --> 00:17:22,083
Don't you cap that pen.
Do not cap that pen!
452
00:17:22,167 --> 00:17:24,002
- Do n--
aw, you capped it!
453
00:17:24,044 --> 00:17:25,503
Wow.
You are serious.
454
00:17:25,587 --> 00:17:27,547
Okay, you've got two minutes.
Then the cap comes off.
455
00:17:27,630 --> 00:17:30,216
- Dude, we're being conned.
456
00:17:30,383 --> 00:17:32,677
- Go on.
457
00:17:32,761 --> 00:17:34,596
- These chicks are way too hot
to be into us.
458
00:17:34,679 --> 00:17:37,140
Esther's just pretending
to like you
459
00:17:37,223 --> 00:17:40,268
so that you'll buy her daddy
a new tractor.
460
00:17:40,310 --> 00:17:41,936
- No.
461
00:17:41,978 --> 00:17:43,146
- Yeah, the sister's
trying to seduce me
462
00:17:43,271 --> 00:17:44,564
into buying an auger
with her.
463
00:17:44,606 --> 00:17:45,857
- What?
Has the warranty expired
464
00:17:45,899 --> 00:17:47,233
on the auger you have now?
465
00:17:47,275 --> 00:17:48,943
- I don't even know
what an auger is.
466
00:17:51,029 --> 00:17:52,989
- No woman
would ever want a man
467
00:17:53,114 --> 00:17:55,116
who doesn't know
what an auger is.
468
00:17:55,200 --> 00:17:58,119
- Hey.
You ready to sign?
469
00:17:58,161 --> 00:18:01,039
- I just need a moment
to consider your offer.
470
00:18:01,164 --> 00:18:03,458
Excuse me.
471
00:18:11,383 --> 00:18:12,759
[knock at door]
472
00:18:14,219 --> 00:18:16,054
- Oh, hey.
- Hey.
473
00:18:16,137 --> 00:18:18,181
- Hi.
- Hi.
474
00:18:18,223 --> 00:18:19,599
I'm sorry. Do you have a minute?
Is this a bad time?
475
00:18:19,641 --> 00:18:21,810
- No, no.
Please, yeah. Come on in.
476
00:18:24,854 --> 00:18:26,439
Good to see you.
Um, sorry.
477
00:18:26,481 --> 00:18:28,441
My place is usually
not this--
478
00:18:28,483 --> 00:18:29,901
- Oh, my gosh,
please, don't.
479
00:18:30,026 --> 00:18:32,362
- Yeah, no, I-- actually,
it's always like this.
480
00:18:32,445 --> 00:18:34,489
[laughter]
You want to go outside?
481
00:18:34,531 --> 00:18:35,615
It's a little less cluttered
out there.
482
00:18:35,699 --> 00:18:36,700
- Sure. Yeah.
- Yeah?
483
00:18:36,783 --> 00:18:38,243
- Yeah.
484
00:18:38,326 --> 00:18:41,162
- [sighs]
485
00:18:41,204 --> 00:18:44,624
- Let me grab a couple drinks.
- Okay.
486
00:18:44,666 --> 00:18:46,960
Oh, wow, you have
a nice view.
487
00:18:47,043 --> 00:18:48,461
- All right.
488
00:18:48,503 --> 00:18:50,880
That's for you.
- Oh, thank you.
489
00:18:50,922 --> 00:18:53,299
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
490
00:18:53,383 --> 00:18:55,301
["God Bless the USA"
playing loudly over boom box]
491
00:18:55,427 --> 00:18:57,012
- All right, how much
have you revealed on camera
492
00:18:57,053 --> 00:18:58,805
about your relationship
with the senator?
493
00:18:58,847 --> 00:19:00,890
- They caught us kissing
on Halloween.
494
00:19:00,974 --> 00:19:03,101
- [gasps] He was dressed
like Ronald Reagan!
495
00:19:03,184 --> 00:19:04,728
- Oww!
- God!
496
00:19:04,811 --> 00:19:07,188
- Angela! Well, he kissed
like Jack Kennedy.
497
00:19:07,272 --> 00:19:09,649
Oh!
- Stop it! Stop kissing him!
498
00:19:09,691 --> 00:19:11,484
Someone needs to call
and warn him.
499
00:19:11,568 --> 00:19:12,902
This could ruin his career.
500
00:19:12,986 --> 00:19:15,196
- I don't like
giving him bad news.
501
00:19:15,280 --> 00:19:16,865
You're the cold shower
in his life.
502
00:19:16,990 --> 00:19:19,159
I'm more like
the fuzzy bathrobe.
503
00:19:19,284 --> 00:19:21,745
- I'm the fuzzy bathrobe!
You're the cold shower.
504
00:19:21,828 --> 00:19:24,164
- That whole comment right
there, not very fuzzy bathrobe.
505
00:19:24,205 --> 00:19:25,415
- Call him!
- You call him!
506
00:19:25,498 --> 00:19:27,208
- Call him! Call him!
- Stop hitting me! No!
507
00:19:28,126 --> 00:19:30,128
- So...
- So...
508
00:19:30,170 --> 00:19:32,088
- What brings you by?
509
00:19:32,172 --> 00:19:34,674
- Well, the promo for
the documentary aired today.
510
00:19:34,716 --> 00:19:36,134
- Oh, yeah, that's right.
- Yeah.
511
00:19:36,176 --> 00:19:37,635
It's kind of crazy.
- It is.
512
00:19:37,802 --> 00:19:39,679
- See all this, like,
old stuff.
513
00:19:39,721 --> 00:19:43,099
- I know.
- Like, there's that shot
514
00:19:43,183 --> 00:19:45,393
of Jim and I up on the roof.
- Oh, yeah, that was--
515
00:19:45,477 --> 00:19:47,854
that was a good moment.
- Yeah, wasn't that neat?
516
00:19:47,937 --> 00:19:50,398
- Yeah, that was cool.
- Yeah.
517
00:19:50,482 --> 00:19:52,108
And there's this one
when we were
518
00:19:52,233 --> 00:19:54,986
listening to music,
and it's like--
519
00:19:55,028 --> 00:19:56,071
it's like we were in love,
520
00:19:56,154 --> 00:19:57,197
we didn't even know
we were in love.
521
00:19:57,322 --> 00:20:00,283
And it's...
522
00:20:00,367 --> 00:20:03,203
but...
523
00:20:03,286 --> 00:20:05,330
do you think Jim's changed?
524
00:20:05,413 --> 00:20:06,915
- Um...
- I'm sorry.
525
00:20:06,998 --> 00:20:08,249
Did that--
but that was out of the blue.
526
00:20:08,333 --> 00:20:09,793
I just mean,
because you know us,
527
00:20:09,918 --> 00:20:11,461
and you've, like,
observed us
528
00:20:11,586 --> 00:20:15,632
for ten years,
and I feel like he's--
529
00:20:15,674 --> 00:20:18,927
I just feel like he's
so into his work right now,
530
00:20:18,968 --> 00:20:22,013
and...
531
00:20:22,055 --> 00:20:24,516
I don't know.
Am I crazy?
532
00:20:24,557 --> 00:20:26,601
- No, you're not crazy.
533
00:20:29,688 --> 00:20:33,817
- Well, I wish that made me
feel better.
534
00:20:33,942 --> 00:20:37,487
Listen, so everybody
saw the promos,
535
00:20:37,570 --> 00:20:38,822
and they're kind of
freaking out.
536
00:20:38,905 --> 00:20:40,323
- [chuckles]
- 'Cause it seems like
537
00:20:40,448 --> 00:20:42,909
you got a lot of
private stuff on camera.
538
00:20:42,951 --> 00:20:44,828
- Yeah.
- You know, stuff people
539
00:20:44,911 --> 00:20:46,871
didn't intend
for everyone to see,
540
00:20:46,996 --> 00:20:48,957
and they kind of want
to know how much.
541
00:20:49,082 --> 00:20:50,709
- They want to know
how much what?
542
00:20:50,792 --> 00:20:52,460
- How much stuff you got.
543
00:20:52,585 --> 00:20:54,337
- Pretty much everything.
544
00:20:54,379 --> 00:20:56,881
- Well, yeah, but what if
we turn off our mic packs?
545
00:20:56,923 --> 00:20:58,174
- They've got parabolic mics.
546
00:20:58,299 --> 00:20:59,843
They can pick you up
100 yards away.
547
00:20:59,884 --> 00:21:03,138
So, no, if you were
around there, they got you.
548
00:21:03,179 --> 00:21:06,433
- So we basically had
no privacy for ten years.
549
00:21:06,474 --> 00:21:08,393
- That's not really true.
I mean...
550
00:21:08,476 --> 00:21:10,228
That's--
- Um...
551
00:21:11,813 --> 00:21:13,273
Yeah, I gotta go.
552
00:21:13,356 --> 00:21:14,607
- Oh, no,
hang on a second.
553
00:21:14,691 --> 00:21:15,984
Pam, I'm sorry.
I--I--
554
00:21:16,109 --> 00:21:17,444
I can explain this
so much better.
555
00:21:17,485 --> 00:21:19,779
- No, I think
you explained it.
556
00:21:19,863 --> 00:21:22,240
- Look, if you give me
a chance, I can--
557
00:21:22,365 --> 00:21:23,575
Pam.
558
00:21:27,454 --> 00:21:28,413
- "Together we will win
this baseball game
559
00:21:28,496 --> 00:21:29,706
"against the evil
Space Yankees.
560
00:21:29,748 --> 00:21:31,124
Eat fresh."
561
00:21:31,249 --> 00:21:32,917
- That'll pay for
the exploding helicopter.
562
00:21:33,043 --> 00:21:35,086
- Smart.
- Mm-hmm.
563
00:21:35,170 --> 00:21:37,964
- "Suddenly, the evil thugs
break into the stadium.
564
00:21:38,048 --> 00:21:40,717
The Big Piece hits baseball
at the evil thugs."
565
00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:42,635
- "Buy me some peanuts
and cracker jacks."
566
00:21:42,719 --> 00:21:44,721
- Come on, man.
Sell it.
567
00:21:44,763 --> 00:21:47,932
- Yeah, Jim.
568
00:21:48,058 --> 00:21:50,018
- [forcefully] "Buy me some
peanuts and cracker jacks!"
569
00:21:50,143 --> 00:21:51,227
- Yeah, that's better.
570
00:21:51,353 --> 00:21:53,229
"A bunch of hot women go,
571
00:21:53,271 --> 00:21:54,939
'Oh, yeah.'"
572
00:21:55,065 --> 00:21:56,941
- "Megan, I was too shy
to tell you this
573
00:21:57,025 --> 00:21:59,194
"when I was just a normal
professional baseball player,
574
00:21:59,319 --> 00:22:01,488
but I love you."
575
00:22:01,529 --> 00:22:03,907
- "They kiss.
It is super emotional.
576
00:22:03,990 --> 00:22:05,909
Like in 'Toy Story.'"
- Wow.
577
00:22:05,992 --> 00:22:07,994
I tell you what.
It's really strong.
578
00:22:08,078 --> 00:22:09,454
Can't wait to read
the rest of it later,
579
00:22:09,579 --> 00:22:11,414
see how it ends.
- It's so strong.
580
00:22:11,456 --> 00:22:13,541
- Keep reading then.
581
00:22:13,667 --> 00:22:16,753
- "Gotta go. Darth Vader's
launching a huge attack."
582
00:22:16,795 --> 00:22:18,463
- Um, another thing.
583
00:22:18,546 --> 00:22:20,090
I'm gonna need you
to get me the rights
584
00:22:20,215 --> 00:22:23,593
to Darth Vader.
585
00:22:23,718 --> 00:22:25,595
- I don't know how we'd
go about doing that, but...
586
00:22:25,720 --> 00:22:27,597
- We can look into it.
- We'll look into it.
587
00:22:27,639 --> 00:22:29,099
- We need Darth.
588
00:22:29,182 --> 00:22:30,642
- We gotta get him.
- Go after Darth then.
589
00:22:30,725 --> 00:22:32,477
- We're gonna go get him.
- That's what we're gonna do.
590
00:22:32,519 --> 00:22:34,062
- We're gonna go get him.
591
00:22:34,854 --> 00:22:36,106
- Maybe you're right.
592
00:22:36,231 --> 00:22:37,482
Esther's a ten,
593
00:22:37,565 --> 00:22:39,067
and the best
I've ever done is Angela,
594
00:22:39,192 --> 00:22:41,152
who's a nine,
and she rejected me.
595
00:22:41,194 --> 00:22:43,822
- A Scranton nine,
but, yeah, point taken.
596
00:22:43,863 --> 00:22:46,157
Hey, let's go out tonight
597
00:22:46,199 --> 00:22:48,493
and just score
a couple fours, huh?
598
00:22:48,576 --> 00:22:50,578
I mean, there are no games
with fours.
599
00:22:50,662 --> 00:22:52,247
- Who needs
a new tractor anyway?
600
00:22:52,330 --> 00:22:53,915
Maybe we're the kind of guys
601
00:22:53,957 --> 00:22:55,500
who end up with a tractor
that's already been rode hard
602
00:22:55,625 --> 00:22:57,085
and put away muddy.
603
00:22:57,168 --> 00:22:58,753
- Screw new tractors.
604
00:22:58,837 --> 00:23:01,589
Guys like us, we got to
plant our seed a different way.
605
00:23:01,631 --> 00:23:03,675
- By hand.
[door opens]
606
00:23:03,800 --> 00:23:06,970
- Dwight. We need to talk.
607
00:23:07,053 --> 00:23:08,346
- I don't know that
there's anything left
608
00:23:08,430 --> 00:23:10,181
for us to talk about,
Esther.
609
00:23:10,265 --> 00:23:12,267
- Look, we're gonna have
the tractor for the same amount
610
00:23:12,308 --> 00:23:14,561
of work days, but my dad
is planning on leasing it
611
00:23:14,644 --> 00:23:16,104
to the Vanderkirk brothers
on the weekends.
612
00:23:16,229 --> 00:23:17,856
- No.
613
00:23:17,939 --> 00:23:19,733
- So you're gonna be paying
more, but he's putting on
614
00:23:19,816 --> 00:23:21,192
ten times the miles,
and he's pocketing a profit
615
00:23:21,317 --> 00:23:23,153
behind your back.
- That snake!
616
00:23:23,236 --> 00:23:25,071
- You need to tell him that
you want a deal based on miles,
617
00:23:25,196 --> 00:23:26,197
or he can just stick
that tractor
618
00:23:26,322 --> 00:23:27,574
where the sun don't shine.
619
00:23:27,657 --> 00:23:29,659
- That shady grove
out by Willard's Pond.
620
00:23:29,784 --> 00:23:31,369
- Mm-hmm.
621
00:23:31,453 --> 00:23:34,956
- So you're fine with me
not leasing the tractor?
622
00:23:35,081 --> 00:23:37,876
I mean,
our courtship can proceed?
623
00:23:37,917 --> 00:23:39,627
- Of course.
[laughs]
624
00:23:39,753 --> 00:23:43,340
You didn't think I was just
tractor bait, did you?
625
00:23:43,423 --> 00:23:45,592
- N-no.
- [laughs]
626
00:23:45,675 --> 00:23:47,260
- That--
- Yeah.
627
00:23:47,344 --> 00:23:49,721
- Hey, Dwight.
What's an auger used for?
628
00:23:49,846 --> 00:23:51,473
- Post hole digging.
629
00:23:51,514 --> 00:23:54,726
[laughter]
630
00:23:54,809 --> 00:23:56,102
[line ringing]
631
00:23:56,227 --> 00:23:58,271
- You've reached
Senator Robert Lipton.
632
00:23:58,355 --> 00:24:00,440
Please leave a message.
[line beeps]
633
00:24:00,565 --> 00:24:01,649
- Hi, honey!
- Hey, honey.
634
00:24:01,775 --> 00:24:02,650
- No, you go.
- Go. No, go ahead.
635
00:24:02,734 --> 00:24:04,694
- Hi, honey.
- Hey, hey, Robert.
636
00:24:04,778 --> 00:24:06,571
- It's Angela and Oscar.
- Hey.
637
00:24:06,696 --> 00:24:07,989
- Just a few quick things.
638
00:24:08,031 --> 00:24:10,909
- Um, the documentary's
going to be airing soon,
639
00:24:10,992 --> 00:24:13,203
and--and you look great
in the promos.
640
00:24:13,286 --> 00:24:15,038
- Oh, you look so handsome.
- Oh.
641
00:24:15,080 --> 00:24:16,998
- Very presidential.
642
00:24:17,123 --> 00:24:19,250
- Very much so. Absolutely.
- Yeah.
643
00:24:19,334 --> 00:24:21,503
- Hey, I get the sense
you're gonna be outed as gay.
644
00:24:21,544 --> 00:24:24,339
- Yes, and I cheated on you
with Dwight.
645
00:24:24,422 --> 00:24:25,840
It looks like
they got it on film.
646
00:24:25,924 --> 00:24:28,051
I didn't tell you about it.
647
00:24:28,134 --> 00:24:29,886
- I think that's it.
- I think we're good.
648
00:24:29,969 --> 00:24:32,806
- Done. Okay.
- Bye. Love you.
649
00:24:32,889 --> 00:24:34,683
[whimpers]
650
00:24:36,893 --> 00:24:39,646
- Hey, TexasPoonTappa
and JasonJasonJason
651
00:24:39,771 --> 00:24:41,064
and all the rest
of you haters out there,
652
00:24:41,189 --> 00:24:42,399
check this out.
653
00:24:42,524 --> 00:24:45,402
[playing upbeat melody]
654
00:24:45,527 --> 00:24:52,450
? ?
655
00:25:03,461 --> 00:25:05,422
- Good night, Andy.
- Huh? Yeah.
656
00:25:05,547 --> 00:25:06,673
See ya.
657
00:25:06,798 --> 00:25:08,591
Oh!
658
00:25:08,675 --> 00:25:10,552
What?
659
00:25:10,593 --> 00:25:11,761
[grumbles]
660
00:25:11,845 --> 00:25:14,889
[groans]
661
00:25:16,224 --> 00:25:18,435
[whimpers]
662
00:25:18,560 --> 00:25:21,479
[man speaking Danish]
663
00:25:21,563 --> 00:25:23,565
Elskere.
664
00:25:23,690 --> 00:25:25,942
- I hope you got sound
on everything.
665
00:25:26,067 --> 00:25:29,362
I'd love a DVD of that.
666
00:25:37,078 --> 00:25:38,955
- Purchase price 50/50.
667
00:25:39,039 --> 00:25:40,957
Remaining expenses thereafter,
668
00:25:41,041 --> 00:25:45,128
fuel maintenance, insurance,
will be divided by miles used.
669
00:25:45,253 --> 00:25:48,506
That is my final offer.
670
00:25:52,344 --> 00:25:53,470
- All right.
671
00:25:53,595 --> 00:25:54,846
Now we can leave it here,
672
00:25:54,929 --> 00:25:57,057
or I can tow it to your farm
for an extra 300.
673
00:25:57,182 --> 00:25:59,059
- Leave it.
- Leave it.
674
00:26:00,352 --> 00:26:03,355
[car horns honking]
675
00:26:03,480 --> 00:26:06,399
[tractor whirring]
676
00:26:29,172 --> 00:26:30,215
- [grunts]
677
00:26:34,469 --> 00:26:38,807
[clanging]
678
00:26:45,980 --> 00:26:48,108
[tires screech]
679
00:26:48,149 --> 00:26:52,362
[tires squealing]
680
00:26:52,487 --> 00:26:54,322
[tires screech]
681
00:26:54,372 --> 00:26:58,922
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