Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:03,545 --> 00:00:04,462
- This year,
I decided to really get into
2
00:00:04,504 --> 00:00:05,672
the spirit of Halloween.
3
00:00:06,798 --> 00:00:07,716
- [screams]
4
00:00:07,882 --> 00:00:09,092
both: [screaming]
5
00:00:09,134 --> 00:00:10,051
- [screams]
6
00:00:10,135 --> 00:00:13,430
- [laughing]
7
00:00:13,471 --> 00:00:17,225
It may have been the costliest
decision I've ever made.
8
00:00:17,267 --> 00:00:18,935
[grunting]
9
00:00:19,102 --> 00:00:21,062
My greased-up head went into
the pumpkin no problem, but...
10
00:00:21,229 --> 00:00:22,313
- It won't budge.
11
00:00:22,355 --> 00:00:24,524
- I can't get it out.
12
00:00:24,607 --> 00:00:26,234
Try again.
13
00:00:26,359 --> 00:00:27,819
I mean, I could try
destroying the pumpkin...
14
00:00:27,902 --> 00:00:28,987
No! No! No! No! Please!
15
00:00:29,070 --> 00:00:30,572
But as Jim and I discovered...
16
00:00:31,448 --> 00:00:32,741
No!
17
00:00:33,825 --> 00:00:37,162
Any blow to the pumpkin itself
could prove fatal to me.
18
00:00:37,203 --> 00:00:39,164
At first, I drove myself crazy
19
00:00:39,247 --> 00:00:40,457
thinking about the things
I should've done differently.
20
00:00:40,540 --> 00:00:41,916
- Yes, Dwight.
21
00:00:42,042 --> 00:00:43,835
- I never should've
played that joke on Erin.
22
00:00:43,918 --> 00:00:45,211
I never should've hollowed out
23
00:00:45,378 --> 00:00:47,672
this damn pumpkin
in the first place.
24
00:00:47,756 --> 00:00:49,424
Hold on one second.
I'll be right with you.
25
00:00:51,718 --> 00:00:54,179
But then I realized
I was being silly.
26
00:00:54,262 --> 00:00:57,057
I mean, the pumpkin
should rot off of my head
27
00:00:57,140 --> 00:00:59,851
in a month or two... right?
28
00:01:03,646 --> 00:01:04,397
[bang]
29
00:01:04,564 --> 00:01:07,275
[groans]
30
00:01:07,317 --> 00:01:10,236
[grunting]
31
00:01:10,403 --> 00:01:11,613
Yeah!
32
00:01:11,654 --> 00:01:14,074
[laughing]
33
00:01:14,199 --> 00:01:16,326
Whoo! Whoo!
34
00:01:16,368 --> 00:01:18,328
Yeah!
[laughs]
35
00:01:18,370 --> 00:01:21,331
[cheerful music]
36
00:01:21,456 --> 00:01:28,463
{\an8}? ?
37
00:01:46,856 --> 00:01:50,110
{\an8}- Angela, hold the ball
so I can kick it.
38
00:01:53,613 --> 00:01:55,031
{\an8}- Hey, guys.
- Hey.
39
00:01:55,115 --> 00:01:57,450
{\an8}- Pam, what are you?
- I'm Doctor Cinderella.
40
00:01:57,492 --> 00:01:59,244
{\an8}- Cece's really
into princesses now,
41
00:01:59,327 --> 00:02:01,204
{\an8}so we decided to turn them into
positive female role models.
42
00:02:01,246 --> 00:02:03,248
{\an8}- I'm an oncologist.
43
00:02:03,331 --> 00:02:04,916
{\an8}And you are a dog.
44
00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:07,002
{\an8}- No, I'm a puppy.
45
00:02:07,085 --> 00:02:08,712
{\an8}Dang it! I was worried
that would happen.
46
00:02:08,878 --> 00:02:10,171
{\an8}- It's okay.
- Um, Jim,
47
00:02:10,296 --> 00:02:12,257
{\an8}you're not dressed up at all.
48
00:02:12,340 --> 00:02:15,301
{\an8}- Sure I am.
I am...
49
00:02:15,343 --> 00:02:16,803
{\an8}one of the "Men in Black" guys.
50
00:02:16,886 --> 00:02:18,096
{\an8}Can I have your sunglasses?
51
00:02:18,179 --> 00:02:19,764
{\an8}- Jim, come on.
I thought we were past this.
52
00:02:19,848 --> 00:02:22,726
{\an8}- We are.
53
00:02:22,809 --> 00:02:24,936
{\an8}Or we're about to be.
54
00:02:24,978 --> 00:02:26,521
{\an8}Can you stare into this for me--
55
00:02:26,646 --> 00:02:29,065
{\an8}I'd still need my sunglasses.
56
00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:30,900
{\an8}- So the sports
marketing business
57
00:02:30,984 --> 00:02:33,361
{\an8}that Jim told everyone about
except for me?
58
00:02:33,403 --> 00:02:35,113
{\an8}- There's a big
investment lunch today,
59
00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:37,449
{\an8}so I decided to
skip the costume.
60
00:02:37,490 --> 00:02:39,075
{\an8}- Unless he has a secret costume
61
00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:41,119
{\an8}that he told
everyone about except for me.
62
00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:42,704
{\an8}- [chuckles] Getting a lot of
mileage out of this, aren't you?
63
00:02:42,829 --> 00:02:45,206
{\an8}- Yeah, well,
get used to it, bud.
64
00:02:47,459 --> 00:02:49,878
{\an8}- ? A jitterbug ?
[laughs]
65
00:02:49,961 --> 00:02:51,171
{\an8}You guys look great!
66
00:02:51,254 --> 00:02:52,964
{\an8}- Just a reminder:
67
00:02:53,048 --> 00:02:54,799
{\an8}the party is right after lunch,
so make sure you get
68
00:02:54,883 --> 00:02:56,676
{\an8}all your work done before that
or throw it out.
69
00:02:56,801 --> 00:02:58,511
{\an8}Any questions?
70
00:02:58,595 --> 00:03:01,556
{\an8}- The senator will be
joining us later.
71
00:03:01,723 --> 00:03:02,807
{\an8}- Not a question.
72
00:03:02,849 --> 00:03:04,726
{\an8}- No, it wasn't.
- Excellent.
73
00:03:04,768 --> 00:03:06,770
{\an8}That reminds me,
has anyone seen Treble?
74
00:03:06,853 --> 00:03:08,313
{\an8}Anyone?
75
00:03:08,438 --> 00:03:11,775
{\an8}I could have sworn
I saw some Treble somewhere.
76
00:03:11,858 --> 00:03:13,610
{\an8}[a cappella group singing
"Karma Chameleon"]
77
00:03:13,693 --> 00:03:15,862
{\an8}Oh, ladies and gentlemen,
Here Comes Treble!
78
00:03:15,904 --> 00:03:18,156
{\an8}- ? I'm a man ?
- ? A man ?
79
00:03:18,239 --> 00:03:20,867
{\an8}? Without conviction ?
80
00:03:20,909 --> 00:03:25,288
{\an8}? You come and go,
you come and go ?
81
00:03:25,330 --> 00:03:26,790
{\an8}[finger snapping]
82
00:03:26,831 --> 00:03:30,168
{\an8}? Karma, karma, karma,
karma, karma chameleon ?
83
00:03:30,293 --> 00:03:35,632
{\an8}- ? You come and go,
you come and go ?
84
00:03:35,799 --> 00:03:39,803
{\an8}- ? Loving would be easy if your
colors were like my dreams ?
85
00:03:39,844 --> 00:03:45,350
{\an8}- ? Red, gold, and green,
red, gold, and green ?
86
00:03:45,433 --> 00:03:46,476
{\an8}? Karma come on ?
87
00:03:46,559 --> 00:03:49,020
{\an8}- Ah! So good!
88
00:03:49,104 --> 00:03:51,106
{\an8}[giggles]
89
00:03:51,147 --> 00:03:53,775
{\an8}- What lab did these
little clones escape from?
90
00:03:53,900 --> 00:03:56,403
{\an8}- Guys, these are the current
members of Here Comes Treble,
91
00:03:56,486 --> 00:03:58,279
{\an8}my Cornell a cappella group.
92
00:03:58,363 --> 00:03:59,781
- You were in
an a cappella group?
93
00:03:59,864 --> 00:04:01,616
- You went to Cornell?
94
00:04:01,700 --> 00:04:03,785
- Yeah.
Uh, okay, ha, ha, ha, ha.
95
00:04:03,827 --> 00:04:05,537
But you have no idea
how lucky you are,
96
00:04:05,662 --> 00:04:09,499
because H.C.T. is doing a set
at our Halloween party.
97
00:04:09,582 --> 00:04:11,167
- Ugh, I don't want
to sit through
98
00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:12,836
a whole concert of that.
99
00:04:12,961 --> 00:04:14,546
- I do.
I love the boss's interests.
100
00:04:14,629 --> 00:04:16,297
- Atta boy, Clark.
101
00:04:16,339 --> 00:04:18,591
- Well, I graduated
during a recession,
102
00:04:18,675 --> 00:04:20,760
and there are, like,
no jobs out there,
103
00:04:20,885 --> 00:04:23,179
so I'm gonna kiss up a lot
and it's gonna be gross,
104
00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:24,723
and you're just gonna
have to deal with it.
105
00:04:24,806 --> 00:04:26,391
- Where you boys staying?
106
00:04:26,433 --> 00:04:28,768
How does it work in the rooms?
You get a privacy partition?
107
00:04:28,810 --> 00:04:31,563
- No. No, nope, not--
no, stay away.
108
00:04:31,688 --> 00:04:33,898
They're crashing with me.
Actually, us.
109
00:04:33,940 --> 00:04:35,358
Erin's got all the tenors,
110
00:04:35,442 --> 00:04:37,193
and I got all the basses
and b-tones.
111
00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:38,611
Jealous?
112
00:04:38,737 --> 00:04:40,363
- Hosting the guys
in my studio apartment
113
00:04:40,405 --> 00:04:41,865
has been no problem.
114
00:04:41,948 --> 00:04:43,867
They took the bed,
the couch, and the floor.
115
00:04:43,950 --> 00:04:46,036
And I slept in my desk chair.
116
00:04:46,161 --> 00:04:48,204
My neck and my butt
are killing me,
117
00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:49,914
but whatever.
118
00:04:49,956 --> 00:04:51,833
Gotta love Here Comes Treble.
119
00:04:51,916 --> 00:04:53,251
- You know what
I just realized?
120
00:04:53,376 --> 00:04:56,129
They might actually
call me up to solo
121
00:04:56,212 --> 00:04:59,049
on George Michael's "Faith."
122
00:04:59,174 --> 00:05:01,384
That was one of
my signature songs.
123
00:05:01,509 --> 00:05:05,555
Oh, man.
That would be insane.
124
00:05:05,597 --> 00:05:08,558
I'm so not prepared.
125
00:05:08,725 --> 00:05:11,353
- Are you sure you're okay with
me putting in this much money?
126
00:05:11,478 --> 00:05:13,104
- Yeah. I mean, listen,
127
00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:14,773
if we're gonna do this thing,
then we should do it right.
128
00:05:14,898 --> 00:05:16,608
- You're the best.
129
00:05:18,193 --> 00:05:19,652
- I kind of am.
- [chuckles]
130
00:05:19,736 --> 00:05:21,488
- It's crazy.
- Okay.
131
00:05:21,571 --> 00:05:23,031
I'll see you in a little bit.
- Okay.
132
00:05:23,073 --> 00:05:24,407
- Jim, look, I'm eating you.
- Shut up.
133
00:05:24,491 --> 00:05:26,201
- Ha, ha!
134
00:05:26,284 --> 00:05:29,496
Hey, Erin,
look, these are nerds.
135
00:05:29,621 --> 00:05:30,663
I'm eating Jims.
136
00:05:30,747 --> 00:05:33,583
[both laugh]
137
00:05:33,625 --> 00:05:35,251
Must eat more Jims.
138
00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:36,878
[chomping loudly]
- [laughs]
139
00:05:37,045 --> 00:05:38,588
Stop it! Stop it!
140
00:05:38,672 --> 00:05:40,423
- I'm spilling Jims...
- Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!
141
00:05:40,465 --> 00:05:42,217
- All over the carpet, Erin!
- Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!
142
00:05:42,258 --> 00:05:45,470
- [laughs]
143
00:05:45,553 --> 00:05:48,223
Mm. Mm.
144
00:05:52,644 --> 00:05:54,938
Hello, little pill.
145
00:05:54,979 --> 00:05:57,899
What do you do?
146
00:05:57,941 --> 00:06:00,652
Dumatril is licensed
to treat anxiety symptoms,
147
00:06:00,735 --> 00:06:04,280
such as panic attacks,
excessive worrying, and fear.
148
00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:08,410
Translation:
there's a madman in our midst.
149
00:06:09,661 --> 00:06:11,204
- Okay, I give up.
What are you?
150
00:06:11,329 --> 00:06:12,706
- I'm sexy Toby.
151
00:06:12,831 --> 00:06:15,375
- [laughs]
Gross.
152
00:06:15,500 --> 00:06:17,085
I love it.
[laughs]
153
00:06:17,168 --> 00:06:19,879
- Dumatril!
154
00:06:19,963 --> 00:06:22,590
- Something wrong, Dwight?
155
00:06:22,716 --> 00:06:25,093
- Dumatril.
- Yes?
156
00:06:25,135 --> 00:06:27,721
- This is a pill
I found here in the office,
157
00:06:27,762 --> 00:06:29,264
but it's not
for worms or eczema,
158
00:06:29,347 --> 00:06:30,849
like any normal pill.
159
00:06:30,932 --> 00:06:32,976
It's not for any
disorder of the body.
160
00:06:33,059 --> 00:06:34,978
[whispering]
It's for a disorder of the mind.
161
00:06:35,061 --> 00:06:37,981
- The mind is part of the body.
162
00:06:38,023 --> 00:06:41,985
- Okay, this is a pill
that combats insanity, okay?
163
00:06:42,068 --> 00:06:44,779
Whoever is taking it
is not only insane...
164
00:06:44,863 --> 00:06:47,198
[whispering]
They are now off their meds.
165
00:06:47,323 --> 00:06:49,117
- Dwight,
our co-workers' health issues
166
00:06:49,159 --> 00:06:50,493
are really none
of our business, so--
167
00:06:50,535 --> 00:06:52,829
- Why are you trying so hard
to bury this thing, huh?
168
00:06:52,912 --> 00:06:54,789
What's going on, Nellie?
Talk to me.
169
00:06:54,914 --> 00:06:56,624
- Mm? Yeah, you're right.
170
00:06:56,708 --> 00:06:58,168
This man needs
to be apprehended.
171
00:06:58,293 --> 00:07:00,211
- I'll get my apprehension kit.
172
00:07:00,295 --> 00:07:01,880
- It's my pill.
173
00:07:01,963 --> 00:07:04,674
I have an anxiety issue
and I'm not ashamed of that,
174
00:07:04,841 --> 00:07:09,179
but I'm not loving the idea of
Dwight having that information.
175
00:07:09,220 --> 00:07:13,641
I once saw him yell at Phyllis
for sneezing wrong.
176
00:07:13,725 --> 00:07:15,143
- You could just say
it's Creed's.
177
00:07:15,268 --> 00:07:16,227
- Oh, no, no,
I couldn't do that.
178
00:07:16,269 --> 00:07:18,480
No, this is my thing.
179
00:07:18,563 --> 00:07:20,148
I'm not gonna finger
anyone else.
180
00:07:20,273 --> 00:07:23,568
- That's what she said.
181
00:07:23,610 --> 00:07:25,070
You know what we do sometimes
182
00:07:25,195 --> 00:07:27,447
when Cece gets wound up
about something crazy?
183
00:07:27,572 --> 00:07:29,282
We just let her run it out
until she gets tired.
184
00:07:29,324 --> 00:07:31,368
- Oh, that's
a wonderful story, Pam.
185
00:07:31,493 --> 00:07:32,952
Your daughter,
she's a little treasure,
186
00:07:33,078 --> 00:07:34,662
but right now,
187
00:07:34,704 --> 00:07:37,707
I'm still concerned about
my own thing going on.
188
00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:40,168
Yes. Yes, I see.
189
00:07:40,251 --> 00:07:42,379
I could do that with Dwight,
couldn't I?
190
00:07:42,462 --> 00:07:44,005
You snuck in
a little bit of advice
191
00:07:44,089 --> 00:07:46,716
into that boring ol' story.
192
00:07:46,758 --> 00:07:48,843
- It wasn't really a long story.
I just said "Cece."
193
00:07:48,885 --> 00:07:51,971
- Ohh, she's wonderful.
She is wonderful!
194
00:07:58,269 --> 00:08:00,814
- You ever been in a group
that spans generations, Clark?
195
00:08:00,897 --> 00:08:02,524
- Uh, I was an Eagle Scout.
196
00:08:02,691 --> 00:08:05,402
And I was on the golf team.
I was in a fraternity--
197
00:08:05,485 --> 00:08:08,988
- When I was in the group
and I met the alums,
198
00:08:09,072 --> 00:08:10,990
they blew my mind.
199
00:08:11,116 --> 00:08:12,742
- I just got chills.
200
00:08:12,826 --> 00:08:14,327
It's blowing my mind
just hearing about it.
201
00:08:19,082 --> 00:08:21,376
- [scatting] ? Dudes... ?
202
00:08:21,459 --> 00:08:23,461
What's up?
[overlapping greetings]
203
00:08:23,545 --> 00:08:25,714
I know it's pathetic to
re-live your college years,
204
00:08:25,797 --> 00:08:27,465
but cut me some slack, okay?
205
00:08:27,549 --> 00:08:30,844
Because I was
a freaking rock star in college.
206
00:08:30,885 --> 00:08:32,512
When I joined
Here Comes Treble,
207
00:08:32,554 --> 00:08:35,056
that's when I became somebody.
208
00:08:35,098 --> 00:08:36,808
When I got the nickname
"Boner Champ,"
209
00:08:36,891 --> 00:08:41,938
that is when I became me.
210
00:08:42,022 --> 00:08:44,149
You didn't come here
to sit in a room, right?
211
00:08:44,232 --> 00:08:45,859
You came here for some
intergenerational "bro" time.
212
00:08:45,900 --> 00:08:47,610
Well, now's your chance!
I'm here.
213
00:08:47,694 --> 00:08:49,571
You got Qs, I got As.
214
00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:54,701
- Did you say you've got AIDS?
215
00:08:54,784 --> 00:08:57,787
- No, I don't have AIDS.
That's not what I said.
216
00:08:57,829 --> 00:08:59,581
Next question.
217
00:09:02,167 --> 00:09:03,585
You don't have any--
218
00:09:03,668 --> 00:09:05,545
any questions
about the old days?
219
00:09:07,422 --> 00:09:10,008
[clears throat]
220
00:09:10,050 --> 00:09:12,469
You at least want to know why
they call me "Boner Champ"?
221
00:09:12,552 --> 00:09:15,388
- I thought Broccoli Rob
was the Boner Champ.
222
00:09:19,601 --> 00:09:21,811
- I'm sorry, what?
223
00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:25,231
- I just thought Broccoli Rob
was the Boner Champ.
224
00:09:26,483 --> 00:09:30,028
- [scoffs]
225
00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:34,157
Broccoli Rob was Broccoli Rob.
226
00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:36,117
Andy Bernard is the Boner Champ.
227
00:09:44,501 --> 00:09:45,543
- I didn't realize
that everybody here
228
00:09:45,627 --> 00:09:48,797
dresses up every year.
- Me neither.
229
00:09:48,963 --> 00:09:50,757
It's Halloween.
230
00:09:50,799 --> 00:09:53,635
That is really,
really good timing.
231
00:09:53,677 --> 00:09:55,428
- So we don't have to work
all afternoon, huh?
232
00:09:55,512 --> 00:09:57,138
Just partying.
- Yeah.
233
00:09:57,305 --> 00:09:58,431
- It's awesome.
234
00:09:58,556 --> 00:10:00,016
We should have parties
all the time, huh?
235
00:10:00,058 --> 00:10:02,018
- We do. It's crazy.
236
00:10:02,060 --> 00:10:04,229
- Hey, guys.
237
00:10:04,270 --> 00:10:07,190
Were you just talking about
mental illness, by any chance?
238
00:10:07,315 --> 00:10:09,567
- [sucks teeth] Nope.
- Huh?
239
00:10:09,693 --> 00:10:12,404
That's funny 'cause we were
just talking about it too,
240
00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:13,571
weren't we?
- Mm.
241
00:10:13,655 --> 00:10:15,365
- About how fine we are with it.
Right?
242
00:10:15,448 --> 00:10:17,325
- Oh, yeah.
It's nothing to be ashamed of.
243
00:10:17,409 --> 00:10:18,993
It's just a simple condition
244
00:10:19,077 --> 00:10:21,037
that can be dealt with
and managed.
245
00:10:21,121 --> 00:10:22,539
- You know what?
This morning, my dog told me
246
00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:24,749
that I should eat the president.
247
00:10:24,833 --> 00:10:26,918
Did anyone else's dog
say anything to them?
248
00:10:29,212 --> 00:10:30,171
- What--what are you doing?
249
00:10:30,296 --> 00:10:32,215
Stop it, Dwight.
250
00:10:32,257 --> 00:10:34,134
Wait, Clark. Clark.
251
00:10:34,259 --> 00:10:35,719
Hey, bud. Yep.
252
00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:37,178
- Go, go.
- Okay.
253
00:10:38,430 --> 00:10:40,849
- Oh, hell no.
254
00:10:42,767 --> 00:10:44,394
- Hi, Kevin.
- Hi, buddy.
255
00:10:44,561 --> 00:10:46,354
- How are you?
- Good.
256
00:10:48,898 --> 00:10:50,817
- I'm not getting a reading.
257
00:10:54,487 --> 00:10:55,864
Dilation normal!
258
00:10:55,905 --> 00:10:57,240
Stop.
259
00:10:57,365 --> 00:10:58,575
You're fine.
You're not crazy.
260
00:10:58,700 --> 00:11:00,285
Congratulations.
Enjoy the party.
261
00:11:00,368 --> 00:11:01,578
- Thanks, Dwight.
262
00:11:01,619 --> 00:11:03,288
- Let's get Phyllis.
263
00:11:03,329 --> 00:11:05,415
Hey, Phyllis.
- Hey.
264
00:11:05,457 --> 00:11:07,208
[loud crash]
Oh!
265
00:11:07,292 --> 00:11:09,461
- Hey, Ke...
266
00:11:09,544 --> 00:11:11,463
- I was just talking
to some of the actives,
267
00:11:11,546 --> 00:11:14,257
and they think
that you're Boner Champ.
268
00:11:14,299 --> 00:11:15,717
- I'm so sorry.
269
00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:17,677
I don't know how
that could've happened.
270
00:11:17,719 --> 00:11:19,304
- Did you maybe
tell them that or--
271
00:11:19,429 --> 00:11:22,223
- I just--I just started
yappin' about the old days,
272
00:11:22,265 --> 00:11:24,851
and I guess
the wine coolers were flowing,
273
00:11:24,934 --> 00:11:27,312
and, you know,
somehow things just got hinky.
274
00:11:27,395 --> 00:11:29,439
- Could you call them
and just tell them the truth?
275
00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:31,191
'Cause I know
it's really stupid,
276
00:11:31,274 --> 00:11:34,027
but it's also really,
really, really important.
277
00:11:34,152 --> 00:11:36,780
- Will do.
278
00:11:36,821 --> 00:11:37,906
I love you, Andy.
279
00:11:38,073 --> 00:11:40,408
- Love you too.
280
00:11:40,492 --> 00:11:42,410
- So the workspace
looks awesome.
281
00:11:42,494 --> 00:11:43,995
- Wow.
- And the graphic designer
282
00:11:44,079 --> 00:11:45,747
is gonna be sending us in
some of the logo treatments.
283
00:11:45,872 --> 00:11:46,790
Can't wait to see them.
284
00:11:46,915 --> 00:11:48,291
- You guys rock.
- I killed it.
285
00:11:48,375 --> 00:11:50,794
- Boom.
- Rockin'.
286
00:11:50,877 --> 00:11:52,337
- Oh. [laughs]
287
00:11:52,462 --> 00:11:53,546
- You get some?
- There we go.
288
00:11:53,630 --> 00:11:55,465
- I also have been
running the numbers,
289
00:11:55,507 --> 00:11:57,759
and between our backers
and our own investment,
290
00:11:57,801 --> 00:11:59,594
we're looking great
for a full year on this.
291
00:11:59,678 --> 00:12:01,221
- Oh, uh,
is it too late to get in?
292
00:12:01,346 --> 00:12:02,764
- Oh, no, no.
293
00:12:02,847 --> 00:12:05,016
- Jim, I explained everything,
so you're all set.
294
00:12:05,141 --> 00:12:06,476
- Oh, no,
I actually talked to my wife,
295
00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:08,937
and we'd really like
to, you know, invest,
296
00:12:09,020 --> 00:12:10,230
get in on the ground floor.
297
00:12:10,313 --> 00:12:11,523
- Wow, well,
298
00:12:11,648 --> 00:12:13,817
what level of investment
are you thinking about?
299
00:12:13,858 --> 00:12:19,072
- We were thinking somewhere
between $5,000, $10,000.
300
00:12:19,155 --> 00:12:20,365
I can do the full $10,000.
301
00:12:20,448 --> 00:12:22,492
We should just...
[blows air] All in.
302
00:12:22,575 --> 00:12:24,244
- All right, welcome aboard.
- All right. [laughs]
303
00:12:24,369 --> 00:12:25,829
Awesome, cool.
304
00:12:25,912 --> 00:12:29,040
- Hey, Darryl.
I'm just here to...
305
00:12:29,165 --> 00:12:31,292
smear some peanut butter
on my forehead.
306
00:12:31,418 --> 00:12:34,921
- You know, to protect
his brain from the nanobots
307
00:12:35,005 --> 00:12:38,633
that the government put
in the air conditioning.
308
00:12:38,717 --> 00:12:41,177
- That makes sense to you, right?
309
00:12:41,344 --> 00:12:44,472
Or does it sound... crazy?
310
00:12:48,727 --> 00:12:51,980
- I can't really picture it.
Can you get it on there?
311
00:12:52,022 --> 00:12:54,524
Yeah.
312
00:12:54,649 --> 00:12:57,318
And maybe get the cheeks.
313
00:12:57,402 --> 00:12:59,029
- So this makes sense, then.
314
00:12:59,070 --> 00:13:00,321
Or is it crazy?
315
00:13:00,447 --> 00:13:02,991
- Get under
your chin first, yeah.
316
00:13:03,033 --> 00:13:04,701
- Is that where
the nanobots like to come in?
317
00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:06,578
- Take it all
the way up to your lip, yeah.
318
00:13:06,703 --> 00:13:08,747
- Okay, is that
how they like to get in?
319
00:13:08,788 --> 00:13:11,583
- Yeah, that's crazy.
320
00:13:14,794 --> 00:13:17,547
- I don't know.
I just don't know.
321
00:13:17,630 --> 00:13:19,716
- Yo, bad boys of a cappella.
322
00:13:19,799 --> 00:13:21,092
all: hey.
323
00:13:21,134 --> 00:13:22,218
- Heard any good stories lately?
324
00:13:22,302 --> 00:13:24,679
Or new twists on old stories?
325
00:13:24,721 --> 00:13:27,891
- Yeah, I got a call
from Broccoli Rob.
326
00:13:28,016 --> 00:13:30,310
I guess you really are
the Boner Champ.
327
00:13:30,352 --> 00:13:31,853
- Did he tell you
how I got the name?
328
00:13:31,895 --> 00:13:32,937
- No.
329
00:13:33,063 --> 00:13:35,398
- Spring Sing '95,
330
00:13:35,523 --> 00:13:39,110
got completely ripped
on Bud Dries.
331
00:13:39,152 --> 00:13:42,447
I had sex with a snowman.
332
00:13:42,489 --> 00:13:44,866
I just went at that thing.
333
00:13:44,991 --> 00:13:46,534
Cold would've stopped
most people,
334
00:13:46,618 --> 00:13:49,120
but I stayed locked in.
You know,
335
00:13:49,245 --> 00:13:51,623
took the face off.
Just seemed easier that way.
336
00:13:53,249 --> 00:13:54,793
- And I told Phyllis
not to put it out,
337
00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:57,629
but she insisted, so anyway...
338
00:13:57,671 --> 00:13:59,381
Hi. Oh, Oscar.
- Oh.
339
00:13:59,506 --> 00:14:01,675
- Remember my husband,
the senator?
340
00:14:01,758 --> 00:14:03,635
- Senator Lipton,
nice to see you.
341
00:14:03,718 --> 00:14:04,844
- Nice to see you, Oscar.
342
00:14:04,928 --> 00:14:07,555
- Wait a second,
who designed this spread?
343
00:14:07,639 --> 00:14:09,224
The sweets and savories
are all mixed together.
344
00:14:09,391 --> 00:14:10,433
This is mayhem.
345
00:14:10,517 --> 00:14:13,061
- So, Oscar, you're a dinosaur?
346
00:14:13,103 --> 00:14:14,270
- Actually,
I'm the electoral college.
347
00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:16,690
- Ouch! Right on target.
348
00:14:16,773 --> 00:14:17,774
- [laughs]
349
00:14:17,857 --> 00:14:19,109
- You know what?
This is outrageous.
350
00:14:19,234 --> 00:14:21,736
I have to find Phyllis.
You two talk, okay?
351
00:14:21,861 --> 00:14:24,739
Sorry, babe. Phyllis!
352
00:14:24,823 --> 00:14:27,742
- God, it's just
so good to see you.
353
00:14:27,826 --> 00:14:30,578
- I--uh-huh, just...
[chuckles nervously]
354
00:14:30,662 --> 00:14:32,956
- All having this wonderful
Halloween gathering.
355
00:14:33,081 --> 00:14:34,916
Excuse me, is that punch?
356
00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:37,794
- They didn't know
about the snowman story,
357
00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:39,796
and when I told 'em,
they were not impressed.
358
00:14:39,921 --> 00:14:42,298
- What is with these turkeys?
- Right?
359
00:14:42,382 --> 00:14:45,635
- Hey! You better do "Faith,"
you get me?
360
00:14:45,677 --> 00:14:47,303
- We don't know it.
361
00:14:47,345 --> 00:14:48,805
- So learn it.
362
00:14:48,847 --> 00:14:50,849
You all go to Cornell,
you're like eight Rain Men.
363
00:14:50,890 --> 00:14:52,100
Just learn the frickin' song.
364
00:14:52,142 --> 00:14:54,352
- Look, I know it was big
with the old guys, but--
365
00:14:54,394 --> 00:14:57,147
- Buts... are for pooping.
366
00:14:57,188 --> 00:14:58,773
Okay? Make it work.
367
00:14:58,857 --> 00:15:00,942
You have to,
or Andy will flip out...
368
00:15:01,067 --> 00:15:02,777
and make it a surprise please.
369
00:15:05,822 --> 00:15:08,825
This isn't stupid.
370
00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:10,618
- What?
371
00:15:19,794 --> 00:15:22,088
- Hey.
- Hey.
372
00:15:22,213 --> 00:15:23,298
- Hey, Toby.
373
00:15:27,135 --> 00:15:28,928
- Are--are you me?
374
00:15:29,054 --> 00:15:31,056
- Yeah. [laughs]
375
00:15:31,139 --> 00:15:33,266
- Oh, my goodness, look at--
[both laughing]
376
00:15:33,350 --> 00:15:34,893
Look at this.
- Yeah.
377
00:15:35,018 --> 00:15:36,644
- [indistinct mumbling]
- I thought I'd,
378
00:15:36,811 --> 00:15:37,937
you know, be you.
379
00:15:38,063 --> 00:15:39,314
- Look at--look at me.
- Oh, look at you!
380
00:15:39,356 --> 00:15:41,066
[laughs]
381
00:15:41,191 --> 00:15:43,151
It's funny, right?
382
00:15:50,200 --> 00:15:51,826
Mm.
383
00:15:57,082 --> 00:16:00,627
- Well, they say
opposites attract.
384
00:16:00,752 --> 00:16:04,464
But it hasn't really
been my experience.
385
00:16:05,715 --> 00:16:08,426
- All right, all right,
just stay focused on the pill.
386
00:16:08,510 --> 00:16:12,055
- Okay, look, Dwight,
let's just call this thing off.
387
00:16:12,138 --> 00:16:13,640
I mean,
it's just an anxiety pill.
388
00:16:13,723 --> 00:16:14,724
Lots of people have anxiety.
389
00:16:14,808 --> 00:16:15,642
- You think
I don't have anxiety?
390
00:16:15,725 --> 00:16:16,976
I have anxiety all the time.
391
00:16:17,060 --> 00:16:19,604
Every waking moment of
my life is sheer torture.
392
00:16:19,646 --> 00:16:22,023
I have land disputes to settle
and idiot cousins to protect
393
00:16:22,065 --> 00:16:24,275
and ne'er-do-well siblings
to take care of,
394
00:16:24,359 --> 00:16:25,985
but I don't need
some stupid pill
395
00:16:26,069 --> 00:16:27,070
to get me through all this.
396
00:16:27,112 --> 00:16:28,655
- Cool, free upper.
397
00:16:28,780 --> 00:16:31,408
- Ah, ha, ha!
The jig is up, psychopath!
398
00:16:31,491 --> 00:16:33,159
- What? Hey, what--
- Yeah! Yeah, gotcha!
399
00:16:33,201 --> 00:16:34,619
- Don't dog-catch me!
- Gotcha!
400
00:16:34,703 --> 00:16:35,912
Yeah!
- Oh!
401
00:16:35,995 --> 00:16:37,539
- Let's see you get
out of this web, huh?
402
00:16:37,664 --> 00:16:39,290
- The pill is mine.
- Wh--
403
00:16:39,374 --> 00:16:41,459
- Get her out.
- Oh.
404
00:16:41,501 --> 00:16:43,461
- Stop baggin' my head!
405
00:16:45,630 --> 00:16:47,298
[door slams]
406
00:16:47,382 --> 00:16:50,468
- [sighs]
407
00:16:50,552 --> 00:16:52,721
Oh, Dwight, look,
it's just a pill, all right?
408
00:16:52,762 --> 00:16:54,389
It's for anxiety--
I take it every day,
409
00:16:54,472 --> 00:16:57,809
and it makes me feel better.
410
00:16:57,851 --> 00:17:00,145
And maybe it could help you too.
411
00:17:03,106 --> 00:17:05,650
- As a sworn defender
of this office,
412
00:17:05,734 --> 00:17:08,028
I'll need to notify the others.
413
00:17:08,069 --> 00:17:09,738
I'll be delivering
a public statement
414
00:17:09,779 --> 00:17:11,406
about your mental status--
- Concert, you guys.
415
00:17:11,448 --> 00:17:13,366
- immediately following
the mandatory
416
00:17:13,491 --> 00:17:15,577
college a cappella concert.
417
00:17:18,788 --> 00:17:21,750
Prepare to be stigmatized.
418
00:17:24,836 --> 00:17:27,213
[indistinct chatter]
419
00:17:27,297 --> 00:17:28,465
- Oh, hey! How'd it go?
- Hey.
420
00:17:28,590 --> 00:17:30,050
Oh, man, it was great.
They were great.
421
00:17:30,133 --> 00:17:31,176
- Did you end up investing?
422
00:17:31,217 --> 00:17:33,303
- I did, yeah.
- How much?
423
00:17:33,345 --> 00:17:37,557
- Uh, man, by the end,
I guess it was... about ten.
424
00:17:37,682 --> 00:17:39,476
- "About" ten?
425
00:17:39,559 --> 00:17:41,519
- Ten. It was the full $10,000.
426
00:17:41,644 --> 00:17:44,022
- Wow.
- Yeah.
427
00:17:44,105 --> 00:17:46,191
- Wow.
- Yeah. Yeah.
428
00:17:46,274 --> 00:17:47,442
It's a good thing
we talked about it, though,
429
00:17:47,525 --> 00:17:48,818
'cause we had to--
- Yeah, yeah, no.
430
00:17:48,902 --> 00:17:50,779
- Yeah.
431
00:17:50,862 --> 00:17:51,905
So did everybody--
- What is it? Hold on.
432
00:17:52,030 --> 00:17:53,490
- Did everybody end up
investing $10,000?
433
00:17:53,615 --> 00:17:55,700
- Um, oh, man,
I don't actually know.
434
00:17:55,784 --> 00:17:57,369
- What?
435
00:17:57,452 --> 00:17:58,703
- They weren't really talking
that much about money.
436
00:17:58,787 --> 00:18:00,413
They just said,
"We're good with investing,"
437
00:18:00,497 --> 00:18:01,664
and--and I--
438
00:18:01,748 --> 00:18:06,002
- Ladies and gentlemen,
Here Comes Treble.
439
00:18:06,086 --> 00:18:07,712
[a cappella group vocalizing]
440
00:18:07,837 --> 00:18:09,172
- They said they were done
with the investing,
441
00:18:09,297 --> 00:18:10,924
and then
you volunteered $10,000?
442
00:18:10,965 --> 00:18:12,676
- ? Ooh, ooh ?
- No, no, I had to.
443
00:18:12,801 --> 00:18:14,386
Look, I needed to look
like a team player, Pam.
444
00:18:14,469 --> 00:18:16,638
- So you invested $10,000
to look like a team player?
445
00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:18,056
- You weren't there.
all: ? And I'll be... ?
446
00:18:18,181 --> 00:18:20,016
- It was very clear that
$10,000 was what we had--
447
00:18:20,100 --> 00:18:21,434
we'll talk about it later.
- No, I want to
448
00:18:21,518 --> 00:18:24,104
talk about it now.
- Pam.
449
00:18:24,145 --> 00:18:27,107
- Jim, that was
most of our savings.
450
00:18:27,232 --> 00:18:32,987
- ? And I'll be better
when I'm older ?
451
00:18:33,071 --> 00:18:39,494
? I'll be
the greatest fan of your life ?
452
00:18:39,577 --> 00:18:41,830
- Wait. Wait, hold on.
453
00:18:41,871 --> 00:18:44,207
Where's the band?
'Cause there's no way
454
00:18:44,249 --> 00:18:46,334
you guys are making this magic
with just your mouths.
455
00:18:46,459 --> 00:18:47,544
- That's what she said.
456
00:18:47,711 --> 00:18:50,422
- What, am I overdoing it?
457
00:18:50,505 --> 00:18:52,632
No. No.
458
00:18:52,757 --> 00:18:54,009
- ? That color
them wonderful stop me ?
459
00:18:54,050 --> 00:18:55,552
- We said "some."
- We'll talk about it.
460
00:18:55,635 --> 00:18:56,761
- We said "some."
- We'll talk about it later.
461
00:18:56,845 --> 00:18:58,179
- ? Steal my breath ?
462
00:18:58,263 --> 00:19:00,765
- We said "part," not "all."
463
00:19:00,849 --> 00:19:03,768
- ? And I'll be ?
464
00:19:03,852 --> 00:19:06,438
? Your crying shoulder ?
465
00:19:06,521 --> 00:19:10,025
- ? Get your car wash today,
bah dah bah ?
466
00:19:10,108 --> 00:19:12,444
- ? Fill up and
you don't have to pay ?
467
00:19:12,527 --> 00:19:13,778
- ? Bah dah bah ?
468
00:19:13,862 --> 00:19:16,489
- ? Come on and give us a play ?
469
00:19:16,573 --> 00:19:17,949
all: ? Get a wash right away ?
470
00:19:17,991 --> 00:19:20,368
? Car wash, yeah ?
- Yes!
471
00:19:20,493 --> 00:19:22,454
- Oh, man.
- That's how you do that!
472
00:19:22,537 --> 00:19:25,373
- Whoo!
- Thank you.
473
00:19:25,457 --> 00:19:27,417
- Show some pride.
This is crap.
474
00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:28,918
- Uh, just a quick announcement.
475
00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:31,254
After the concert,
I will be revealing the identity
476
00:19:31,338 --> 00:19:35,133
of a dangerous lunatic
who lurks among us.
477
00:19:35,175 --> 00:19:36,593
Also, I agree, yes.
Crap.
478
00:19:36,718 --> 00:19:38,428
Continue.
479
00:19:38,511 --> 00:19:41,097
- Now, folks,
by special request,
480
00:19:41,181 --> 00:19:43,183
we're going to take it
a little old school.
481
00:19:43,266 --> 00:19:46,519
There is a former Trebler
in this room.
482
00:19:46,686 --> 00:19:47,771
- Who?
483
00:19:47,854 --> 00:19:49,939
- It's Mr. Andy Bernard!
484
00:19:50,023 --> 00:19:52,442
[humming on tuning harp]
485
00:19:52,567 --> 00:19:54,527
[humming
George Michael's "Faith"]
486
00:19:54,611 --> 00:19:57,447
- No, do not sing that.
Do not--oh, man.
487
00:19:57,530 --> 00:20:00,742
- He reminded us today
of how much he means to us,
488
00:20:00,784 --> 00:20:03,453
and we certainly
seem to mean a lot to him,
489
00:20:03,536 --> 00:20:05,580
so without any further ado,
here's an old Treble classic.
490
00:20:05,747 --> 00:20:09,376
? Ah, ah, ah ?
491
00:20:09,417 --> 00:20:11,503
? Dank, dank, dank, dank, dank ?
492
00:20:11,544 --> 00:20:13,463
? Dig-a, dank, dank, dank ?
493
00:20:13,546 --> 00:20:15,215
both: ? A-well,
I guess it would be nice ?
494
00:20:15,256 --> 00:20:17,676
? If I could touch your body ?
495
00:20:17,801 --> 00:20:22,430
- ? I know not everybody
has got a body like you ?
496
00:20:22,472 --> 00:20:24,432
? But I gotta think twice ?
- Whoa! Whoa!
497
00:20:24,474 --> 00:20:25,934
- ? Before I give
my heart away... ?
498
00:20:26,017 --> 00:20:27,977
- What the hell is
Broccoli Rob doing here?
499
00:20:28,103 --> 00:20:29,437
- She said you wanted
to hear "Faith."
500
00:20:29,479 --> 00:20:31,231
That's Broccoli Rob's
signature song.
501
00:20:31,314 --> 00:20:33,942
- ? Oh, but I need
some time off ?
502
00:20:34,025 --> 00:20:35,527
- That's my signature song.
- ? From that emotion... ?
503
00:20:35,694 --> 00:20:37,570
- I really didn't know that, man.
504
00:20:37,612 --> 00:20:39,823
I just thought
you wanted to hear it.
505
00:20:39,906 --> 00:20:42,492
- Russell, I'm dressed
like George Michael.
506
00:20:42,575 --> 00:20:44,119
- I thought you were
Adam Lambert.
507
00:20:44,202 --> 00:20:46,538
- Wha--
- I'm--I'm sorry.
508
00:20:46,579 --> 00:20:48,415
- [exhales]
Here's the deal.
509
00:20:48,498 --> 00:20:50,041
I was the soloist on "Faith"
510
00:20:50,083 --> 00:20:52,168
and I was the Boner Champ.
511
00:20:52,252 --> 00:20:55,296
- Because he made love
to that poor snowman.
512
00:20:55,380 --> 00:20:57,340
- What I did was not
make love, okay?
513
00:20:57,465 --> 00:21:00,468
I banged that snowman
into a puddle.
514
00:21:00,635 --> 00:21:02,804
There was nothing left
but a carrot and a wet scarf.
515
00:21:02,971 --> 00:21:04,973
It was hilarious,
516
00:21:05,140 --> 00:21:07,183
and I was a hero!
517
00:21:07,267 --> 00:21:09,477
- The audio dropped out
on my end, fellas,
518
00:21:09,561 --> 00:21:12,689
but I felt like I hit that one
out of the park.
519
00:21:12,731 --> 00:21:14,107
You're welcome.
520
00:21:17,277 --> 00:21:18,361
- Hey.
521
00:21:18,445 --> 00:21:19,487
- Yeah, I'm really sorry
about that.
522
00:21:19,529 --> 00:21:20,864
- Can we still stay with
you guys tonight?
523
00:21:20,989 --> 00:21:23,992
- Uh, my back is really
falling apart, so...
524
00:21:24,117 --> 00:21:26,119
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm whining.
525
00:21:26,202 --> 00:21:28,496
I'll see what I can do, okay?
- Okay.
526
00:21:28,580 --> 00:21:30,874
- Go wait in the break room.
- Yeah, uh, thanks.
527
00:21:30,999 --> 00:21:32,917
- Are you okay?
528
00:21:33,001 --> 00:21:34,252
- He's still mad.
- Okay.
529
00:21:34,377 --> 00:21:36,671
- Shut up, Broccoli.
530
00:21:36,755 --> 00:21:39,215
- Champ, I feel awful
about this whole thing.
531
00:21:39,341 --> 00:21:41,092
Russell called me up,
532
00:21:41,134 --> 00:21:44,846
and they said they needed
20 ccs of George Michael stat,
533
00:21:44,888 --> 00:21:47,015
so just... wham!
I sprang into action.
534
00:21:47,140 --> 00:21:49,100
You know me.
535
00:21:49,142 --> 00:21:51,394
I assumed you wanted to hear
me do your signature number.
536
00:21:51,478 --> 00:21:52,979
- You thought I wanted
to sit in the audience
537
00:21:53,063 --> 00:21:55,398
like some slutty Treb rat?
538
00:21:55,482 --> 00:21:57,776
A man's signature solo
is his for life, okay?
539
00:21:57,817 --> 00:21:59,694
That's group policy,
and you know it.
540
00:21:59,778 --> 00:22:02,113
- Look, it's not my fault
I still live near campus,
541
00:22:02,155 --> 00:22:04,282
and it's my duty as an alum
542
00:22:04,366 --> 00:22:05,992
to be friendly
to the young guys,
543
00:22:06,076 --> 00:22:08,661
and stop in two,
three times a week.
544
00:22:08,787 --> 00:22:10,372
- Just don't do
the song anymore.
545
00:22:10,455 --> 00:22:12,707
- I'll tell you what.
We'll have a sing-off for it.
546
00:22:12,832 --> 00:22:15,251
You pick 12 alums
from any year to back you up
547
00:22:15,377 --> 00:22:17,045
and I'll do the same.
548
00:22:17,087 --> 00:22:18,421
And I'm so confident
that I'll win,
549
00:22:18,546 --> 00:22:20,256
I won't even warm up.
550
00:22:20,340 --> 00:22:21,966
- Fine, go ahead,
thrash your pipes.
551
00:22:22,008 --> 00:22:24,094
- My pipes are primo, Champ!
552
00:22:24,219 --> 00:22:27,847
Why don't you ask
Trey Anastasio about my pipes?
553
00:22:27,931 --> 00:22:30,684
- I knew you would go there,
you son of a bitch!
554
00:22:30,809 --> 00:22:34,646
- He said, and I quote,
"Hey, Rob, nice pipes."
555
00:22:34,729 --> 00:22:36,231
That happened!
- Okay, fine, yeah,
556
00:22:36,272 --> 00:22:37,190
that's one guy's opinion.
- That's real!
557
00:22:37,315 --> 00:22:39,192
That'll never change!
- Okay!
558
00:22:39,275 --> 00:22:41,736
- Okay, doesn't mean
you're the best singer ever!
559
00:22:41,861 --> 00:22:43,238
Dick.
560
00:22:43,363 --> 00:22:45,532
- The more I hear about
all this a cappella drama,
561
00:22:45,573 --> 00:22:48,618
the more I think
it's kind of pathetic.
562
00:22:48,702 --> 00:22:50,120
But when you're with someone,
563
00:22:50,245 --> 00:22:52,956
you put up with the stuff that
makes you lose respect for them.
564
00:22:53,081 --> 00:22:55,625
And that is love.
565
00:22:55,750 --> 00:22:58,837
- Brownies and ginger snaps
on the same plate?
566
00:22:58,962 --> 00:23:00,213
Where was the logic there?
567
00:23:00,296 --> 00:23:01,881
I mean, what was going
through your mind?
568
00:23:01,965 --> 00:23:03,425
- You know, I just thought
it was a party
569
00:23:03,550 --> 00:23:05,093
and people wouldn't think
too much about it.
570
00:23:05,218 --> 00:23:07,303
- Ridiculous.
571
00:23:07,387 --> 00:23:08,680
You know,
if you're not gonna focus,
572
00:23:08,763 --> 00:23:11,891
maybe you shouldn't be in charge
of arranging the snacks.
573
00:23:11,933 --> 00:23:14,310
- You're decorations. I'm food.
574
00:23:14,394 --> 00:23:16,646
- Snack arrangements
is a type of decoration.
575
00:23:16,730 --> 00:23:19,524
We have to start all over.
- Okay, go ahead.
576
00:23:19,649 --> 00:23:23,153
- I can't picture it.
I'm all confused.
577
00:23:23,236 --> 00:23:26,239
- Maybe the cupcakes
with the ginger snaps--
578
00:23:26,322 --> 00:23:28,033
- No, nothing should be
with the ginger snaps.
579
00:23:28,116 --> 00:23:30,535
Ginger snaps are off-putting
to some people.
580
00:23:30,577 --> 00:23:32,120
- What about that thing?
581
00:23:32,203 --> 00:23:33,955
- I don't even think
that's food.
582
00:23:34,080 --> 00:23:35,290
- Oh.
583
00:23:35,331 --> 00:23:37,125
- I thought that concert
was pretty great.
584
00:23:37,208 --> 00:23:40,837
- Oh, yeah. I decided
"acapelca" music is awesome.
585
00:23:40,920 --> 00:23:42,839
- They lost me when
they sang "Monster Mash."
586
00:23:42,922 --> 00:23:45,759
That song obviously
glorifies the occult.
587
00:23:45,842 --> 00:23:48,595
- Angela, it's Halloween.
You have to sing "Monster Mash."
588
00:23:48,678 --> 00:23:51,222
- Oh, you have to, Jim?
You literally have to?
589
00:23:52,640 --> 00:23:53,975
- Uh...
590
00:23:54,059 --> 00:23:55,435
- No, I'm just--I'm saying,
591
00:23:55,560 --> 00:23:58,063
what would happen
if they didn't sing it?
592
00:23:58,104 --> 00:24:00,899
Would they go to jail?
Would they be shot?
593
00:24:00,940 --> 00:24:03,610
- Okay. We'll just forget it.
594
00:24:03,735 --> 00:24:05,403
- No, no, I'm interested.
- Mm-hmm.
595
00:24:05,528 --> 00:24:06,905
- I mean, I think
everybody's interested
596
00:24:06,988 --> 00:24:09,115
in why they have to sing it.
597
00:24:09,240 --> 00:24:10,784
- 'Cause it is Halloween.
- Mm-hmm.
598
00:24:10,825 --> 00:24:11,993
- So if you're
gonna sing a concert,
599
00:24:12,118 --> 00:24:13,161
it's a good idea
to throw that one in.
600
00:24:13,286 --> 00:24:14,496
- Yeah, yeah, no, no,
601
00:24:14,579 --> 00:24:16,122
it's a good idea
to brush your teeth,
602
00:24:16,206 --> 00:24:19,334
but you have to,
um, feed your children,
603
00:24:19,417 --> 00:24:20,960
send them to school.
604
00:24:21,086 --> 00:24:22,587
You know,
all things you can't do
605
00:24:22,671 --> 00:24:25,465
if you just keep singing
"Monster Mash."
606
00:24:25,548 --> 00:24:31,262
- It turns out Pam really,
really hates "Monster Mash."
607
00:24:31,346 --> 00:24:35,475
I mean, like, never bring
that song up in front of her.
608
00:24:35,558 --> 00:24:39,104
Even though Jim
was making great points,
609
00:24:39,145 --> 00:24:41,189
like, in favor of the song,
610
00:24:41,314 --> 00:24:46,528
Pam was like,
"No. Hate it. Stupid."
611
00:24:50,281 --> 00:24:53,284
I guess I hate
that song now too.
612
00:24:53,326 --> 00:24:55,912
- This is all so silly, right?
613
00:24:56,037 --> 00:24:57,580
- [laughs softly]
614
00:24:57,664 --> 00:24:59,124
- What am I gonna do,
move back to Cornell?
615
00:24:59,249 --> 00:25:01,459
- [laughs]
Yeah.
616
00:25:01,501 --> 00:25:03,878
- I mean, what if we did that?
617
00:25:04,004 --> 00:25:07,132
Like, we got jobs and
we were happy all the time?
618
00:25:07,215 --> 00:25:09,509
- Oh, well, Andy,
we're not moving to Cornell.
619
00:25:09,634 --> 00:25:11,136
[chuckles]
- Duh, I know.
620
00:25:11,219 --> 00:25:13,096
That would be insane.
- Yeah.
621
00:25:13,179 --> 00:25:15,432
- It could totally work, though.
622
00:25:15,515 --> 00:25:18,601
I don't know why we wouldn't.
623
00:25:18,685 --> 00:25:20,103
Oh, my God, are we doing this?
624
00:25:20,186 --> 00:25:23,356
- Oy. Andy, what is going on?
625
00:25:24,649 --> 00:25:29,487
- If I am not Boner Champ...
626
00:25:29,529 --> 00:25:31,364
I don't know who I am.
627
00:25:31,448 --> 00:25:34,617
- Well, you know,
maybe you're the wise, old guy
628
00:25:34,701 --> 00:25:39,539
that the new, um,
B-O-N-E-R Champ looks up to.
629
00:25:39,581 --> 00:25:41,499
You know, you could just--
- Make a donation.
630
00:25:41,583 --> 00:25:43,585
- Well, I was gonna say
be a mentor.
631
00:25:43,710 --> 00:25:45,879
- Yes.
632
00:25:45,962 --> 00:25:48,798
I'm gonna make a donation.
633
00:25:48,923 --> 00:25:50,759
And it just so happens
I know someone who works
634
00:25:50,842 --> 00:25:53,053
at the Bernard
family foundation.
635
00:25:53,136 --> 00:25:55,513
Her name is "mom."
- Oh.
636
00:26:07,192 --> 00:26:10,111
- [slurping]
637
00:26:16,493 --> 00:26:19,037
- Excuse me, everyone.
I have an announcement to make.
638
00:26:22,707 --> 00:26:25,502
It has come to my attention
639
00:26:25,585 --> 00:26:28,672
that...
640
00:26:28,713 --> 00:26:31,424
this Halloween party
641
00:26:31,508 --> 00:26:33,843
is fairly mediocre
of the 12 that I've gone to.
642
00:26:33,927 --> 00:26:35,970
This is the seventh best.
643
00:26:36,096 --> 00:26:38,807
That is all.
Enjoy your merriment.
644
00:26:40,767 --> 00:26:41,976
- Whatever.
- Yeah.
645
00:26:42,060 --> 00:26:43,978
[indistinct chatter]
646
00:26:46,189 --> 00:26:47,357
- Thank you.
647
00:26:47,440 --> 00:26:49,192
- [whispering]
I want some of those pills.
648
00:26:49,317 --> 00:26:51,403
- Oh. Well, good for you.
649
00:26:51,486 --> 00:26:52,779
I mean,
you'll need a prescription.
650
00:26:52,821 --> 00:26:54,614
- Oh, no, no, no,
they're not for me.
651
00:26:54,698 --> 00:26:56,700
They're for my cousin Mose.
652
00:26:56,783 --> 00:26:59,869
He's just having
a tough time, being wifeless
653
00:26:59,911 --> 00:27:03,331
and a high-pressure job
and his crazy cousin Mose.
654
00:27:03,415 --> 00:27:05,166
Other cousin Mose.
- Mm. Got it.
655
00:27:05,291 --> 00:27:07,293
Well,
656
00:27:07,377 --> 00:27:11,631
you tell Mose that he's a good
man and I hope he feels better.
657
00:27:14,467 --> 00:27:17,679
- Which one?
Mose or the real Mose?
658
00:27:17,762 --> 00:27:20,765
- The real Mose.
659
00:27:20,890 --> 00:27:23,560
- He says thank you.
660
00:27:23,601 --> 00:27:27,814
Nellie may be crazy,
but who among us isn't crazy?
661
00:27:27,939 --> 00:27:30,025
Me.
662
00:27:30,150 --> 00:27:32,068
Just me.
663
00:27:32,110 --> 00:27:34,571
- Hey, Andy.
664
00:27:34,696 --> 00:27:36,031
We'd really appreciate it
665
00:27:36,156 --> 00:27:38,783
if you guys would let us
crash again tonight.
666
00:27:38,825 --> 00:27:42,704
That woman said she'd put us up,
but we don't feel good about it.
667
00:27:45,498 --> 00:27:47,292
- We're really sorry
about earlier.
668
00:27:47,417 --> 00:27:50,295
If there's anything we could do
to make it up to you...
669
00:27:50,337 --> 00:27:52,422
- You know what, guys?
670
00:27:52,547 --> 00:27:54,591
Here's what you can do.
671
00:27:54,716 --> 00:27:58,887
Be young and enjoy life
672
00:27:59,012 --> 00:28:01,014
and have fun,
673
00:28:01,097 --> 00:28:03,183
before it all crashes down
on your head
674
00:28:03,308 --> 00:28:05,810
and destroys
everything you know.
675
00:28:05,894 --> 00:28:08,646
- [mouthing words]
676
00:28:08,688 --> 00:28:10,148
[harmonica plays note]
677
00:28:10,231 --> 00:28:11,191
- ? Dank, dank, dank,
dank, dank ?
678
00:28:11,274 --> 00:28:12,525
- Aww, come on.
- You.
679
00:28:12,567 --> 00:28:13,902
- ? Dank, dank, dank,
dank, dank ?
680
00:28:13,943 --> 00:28:15,945
- ? A-well, I guess
it would be nice ?
681
00:28:16,029 --> 00:28:18,365
? If I could touch your body ?
682
00:28:18,490 --> 00:28:22,952
? I know not everybody
has got a body like you ?
683
00:28:23,078 --> 00:28:25,205
? Well, I gotta think twice ?
684
00:28:25,246 --> 00:28:27,749
? Before I give my heart away ?
685
00:28:27,791 --> 00:28:29,959
? And I know
all the games you play ?
686
00:28:30,043 --> 00:28:32,420
? Because I played them too ?
687
00:28:32,504 --> 00:28:37,801
? Oh, I need some time off
from that emotion ?
688
00:28:37,926 --> 00:28:41,388
? Time to pick my heart up
off the floor ?
689
00:28:41,513 --> 00:28:44,265
? Doo, doo, doo,
doo, doo, scap ?
690
00:28:44,391 --> 00:28:47,102
[scatting to the tune
of "Faith"]
691
00:28:47,227 --> 00:28:52,774
? ?
692
00:28:52,816 --> 00:28:54,943
Nice. Yes.
693
00:29:05,453 --> 00:29:08,248
- Oh, hi, Toby.
694
00:29:09,582 --> 00:29:11,501
Who are the flowers for?
695
00:29:11,626 --> 00:29:14,045
- Nobody.
696
00:29:22,387 --> 00:29:25,390
I was just kidding around,
you know.
697
00:29:25,515 --> 00:29:28,226
Happy Halloween.
[laughs softly, sniffles]
698
00:29:28,351 --> 00:29:31,312
- Mom, I had this
really charitable idea
699
00:29:31,396 --> 00:29:34,190
to set up a scholarship
for a cappella kids at Cornell,
700
00:29:34,274 --> 00:29:36,818
and just need to
wire some money over there.
701
00:29:36,943 --> 00:29:38,528
What?
702
00:29:38,570 --> 00:29:40,405
[a cappella group
singing Cornell Alma Mater]
703
00:29:40,488 --> 00:29:42,615
- ? Far above
the busy humming ?
704
00:29:42,699 --> 00:29:46,494
? Of the bustling town ?
705
00:29:46,619 --> 00:29:49,539
? Reared against
the arch of heaven ?
706
00:29:49,664 --> 00:29:52,042
- What's wrong?
707
00:29:52,167 --> 00:29:54,711
- My parents are broke.
708
00:29:54,836 --> 00:29:58,631
- ? Lift the chorus,
speed it onward ?
709
00:29:58,757 --> 00:30:03,011
? Loud her praises tell ?
710
00:30:03,136 --> 00:30:07,265
? Hail to thee,
our alma mater ?
711
00:30:07,349 --> 00:30:12,103
? Hail, all hail, Cornell ?
712
00:30:12,153 --> 00:30:16,703
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
52492
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof