Original subtitles

After a season of hair -pulling and shocking rumors, the Jersey Housewives

back with even more secrets to unveil. We need to unleash our inner beast.

Is the tampon stuck? Do you want me to help you?

I think I need to go to the hospital.

A bonding trip to Atlantic City.

Oh my God! It's a thousand bucks! Whatever you have on top, shake it. Look

Amber go.

Amber, I think your nipple's about to come out.

Reveals Amber's scandalous alter ego.

You don't like Atlanta?

She's Russian?

She's the hooker side of me.

Joe Giudice learns the perils of babysitting Melania.

Shut up. There's no vaccine.

Plus, cousins Kathy and Teresa get into a war of words.

I think we should just leave it at that. No. Then what do you want to do about

it? You should think before you talk.

And a blackjack game goes bust.

When the twins and Amber have it out on the casino floor.

If you don't like me, just come out and say it. All that and more on the Real

Housewives of New Jersey Secrets Revealed, part one.

You never know how strong you are until it's the only choice you have.

I've learned to forgive and never regret.

You're not being double.

Everyone loves us.

You're seeing trouble.

I'm a survivor.

What did you just say? No one is bringing me down.

I'm back to bring the zen.

Namaste, bitches.

Long before a season of rumors, lies, and hair pulling, the ladies decided to

escape mommy mode and travel to Atlantic City for a weekend of debauchery.

Holy cow.

How much crap did you bring?

I don't know what I'm going to need.

Like, that's not normal.

You need to learn to scale back, girlfriend.

Going down to AC with the girls is definitely out of my element, but it's

to be a bonding experience for us just to kind of all, you know, come together

and, you know, have a little fun, be girly.

I got my friends, so I don't know what I feel like wearing.

I have my period as well. Thank you. So we're the period twins.

I'm not the same truth anymore.

I've changed.

I just go with the flow.

Let's watch your step going in. Thank you. Why did Nicole get us a bus? Like,

feel like we're going to a bachelorette party. It's like we're going to suck

penis or something.

That's kind of gross.

Bye, kids.

I think I need help.

Good afternoon.

Atlantic City is not my scene.

It's a melting pot of white trash.

I feel so

bloated today.

I think

she's

bringing her kids and her husband with her.

Can we have a little bit more of a tender moment?

These are all ours. Come on.

I have never been away from my children except for like an hour or two, you

know, if we had to go out to dinner. Bye, Mom.

Bye. And I'll just have a lot of drinks to make me not think about it.

Oh, my gosh.

I'm not used to wheeling my own luggage.

Wearing short skirts. They are going to freeze their titties off.

The twins are starting to grow on me. They are just a big ball of arms, hair,

and tits.

Hi. Hi.

Hi, girls.

Okay, a little shot.

Cheers, cheers.

Here's to a fabulous two nights in AC and lots of fun and laughter.

Thank you for organizing this. I got us a presidential suite. Nice.

Being my friend definitely has advantages.

The best part of being a jet broker, I can get us presidential suites, make us

feel like we are just princesses. How awesome is that?

The Revel is amazing like this. Yes, they have like an amazing burlesque

called and they're going to give us a little, you know, a little burlesque.

I thought it would be something fun for the girls.

And we all got our periods. You girls have your periods? Oh my gosh.

I just got it like two weeks ago, so it's like early.

Me too.

I thought it was going to be a party, and now I have it again. Wow.

Now we are really blood sisters.

Now we're seeing.

Welcome to Rebel Casino. Thank you so much.

Go get dressed for tonight, okay?

I love it. The room is amazing.

The spread they had out for us was impeccable.

I absolutely love getting what I want. I'm a woman, for crying out loud.

Are you going to be okay bleeding in that dress?

I hope so. You gave me a super -duper tampon. If at any time you have a red

triangle on your ass, I'll let you know. Oh, my God.

God forbid.

You've got to think about, like, how crazy women are. Like, we bleed for five

days and we don't die. Like, you should never trust anything that bleeds for

five days and doesn't die.

All right, tuck me in. Tuck me in. Tuck me in. I'm PMSing and I'm bloated. I

have to put my tampon in, Teresa.

All right.

Have fun.

Next time, flush the bowl.

Ow. Ouch. Too tight.

You're stopping my circulation tight.

Fix that boobie.

I'm doing push -ups against the wall.

You want to put some of this on your legs?

You want to put some on me?

Okay.

OMG, no, no, no, we can't do that.

Oh, just like this.

Thank you. I just put tan marks on the wall.

Freaking A.

I'm having a really bad feminine moment.

No. I think I need to go to the hospital.

Is the tampon stuck? Do you want me to help you?

You freaking got super duper tampons. Oh my God, now it's not flushing.

All dolled up and ready to go, the ladies head out for cocktails and a side

girl talk.

Hi. How are you? How are you?

Thank you. How are you guys?

Don't you love this restaurant? It's so pretty.

This is so nice. Where are we sitting?

I know. I love it. Are you okay? I'm great over here. How are you? So you

want to put a couple appetizers in now just to? Yeah. Sounds good. And the

drink, the strawberry.

Domaine Frazier. Yeah.

Domaine Frazier.

I mean, listen.

I have a very dry life, but, man, we're out with our friends. Just freaking have

a good time and drink and party it up and do shots like you've never done

before. Woo -hoo!

I feel like one of us is going to be on the floor all night, and it's going to

be Amber.

Nope.

Woo!

Take it easy.

Excuse me?

Honestly, girls, I feel like I'm out with geriatric people right now. You're,

like, freaking killing me right now. I'm not into shots. I do drinks.

I don't do this. I don't do that. I don't do this. Just drink. I'm not a

drinker. Sorry.

I would love to see you be sexy and drink that and be like hot and sexy.

Amber,

you are so kinky, girl.

I love role play.

Role play is good in marriages. Absolutely.

Like you're the little school girl and he's the professor.

One of my favorites. Thank you. Or the massage therapist and the, oh, oh, wow.

What's that?

that you're putting up there.

The what?

Amber is definitely like a housewife gone wild.

Like, ooh!

Yeah.

I've been Alana. Alana's the hooker side of me.

Alana?

Well, here's to Alana coming out tonight.

Bring it out.

You need to drink this and bring your Alana out.

And why is that, Amber?

Because you're drier right now than the freaking toast that I have on Sunday

mass.

Did she say I'm drier than the toast on Sunday mass?

That was Alana speaking.

That was not me.

We don't want to know any more about Alana. We're good with that. You don't

Alana?

I feel like Amber gets

a lot of her frustrations out through Alana.

So I feel like Jim gets a freaking beating in the bedroom when Alana comes

I just... You know, I know she... All I know is every time I see him now, this

is all that's going to happen. Her husband, who's all straight -laced and

proper. Now, Amber, when you met your husband, was he already divorced?

He won.

How long did you know? Literally, I met him in July, got engaged a month later.

We were married by December. How long have you been married now?

Seven years now.

Seven years?

That's when I got divorced. Seven years. Seven years.

Any time I think you talk about divorce, it's never easy.

Do you want me asking how long you've been divorced for? Four years.

Is this like a hard subject? I don't mean to ask. It is a little tough.

You know, when there are children involved, it's just a sad situation.

When you put so much into a long marriage, and then when that got torn

that was just a horrible feeling.

I mean, I adore Bobby, but I don't want to feel that again.

Our parents are married for many, many years.

That's all we saw in our family.

Divorce was never, ever an option. It wasn't an option. Ever.

Thank you. I'm getting out of this marriage, and we have a better marriage

most people I know.

You know, like, we were like family. Well, I knew Tommy since I'm nine. We

pictures of Tommy and I. I was like 11, and he's like 18.

She knew...

Tommy, since she was nine, so I beat you, because I know my husband my whole

life. And we used to play house when we were younger.

Like, growing up, Joe would always get in trouble. He was like the bad boy, and

I used to love that.

Like, I don't know, something about it. And my mother used to be like, stay away

from him. My mother used to keep me far away from him.

And you see what happened?

With this conversation, we should toast to husbands.

To marriage, and whatever firm it may be.

Hold on.

Hold on. I love it. It's alive in this book.

We can have a masseuse come to the room.

Coming up... I am so sick of this. Go home and pull Jimmy's thing, because

really, that's all you should do. We need to stop.

Holy... While the ladies

test their luck in Atlantic City, Joe Giudice stays home with three queens and

joker, Melania.

Melania, wash your hands.

Wash them again.

No.

Oh, yeah.

Come here, Gabriella. We're going to make a hamburger.

We're going to make one that looks like you.

Oh, my gosh.

Mommy's down in Atlantic City boogieing.

Joe's watching the girls while I'm with my friends.

I have four kids.

There's a lot going on, but Joe will be able to handle it.

Can you stop touching it? She's just touching it. Like, what is she doing?

Mixing it. No, you're not. You're playing with food.

Shut up.

Girls don't backhand you.

Oh, she's going to backhand you, Gia.

You heard that?

Oh, my God.

What are you doing?

Melania is definitely the most high maintenance out of all my children.

When I was in Atlantic City, I think Melania called me like 25 times.

She will not stop stalking me.

Melania's cute.

Right, Melania?

Yeah, I'm cute.

Melania's not annoying.

Right? You're annoying.

You're annoying.

Yeah, I'm perfect.

Things are not only heating up in the Judah's Kitchen, but also in the casinos

of Atlantic City, as the ladies of New Jersey place their bets on a game of

chess.

Aye, aye, aye.

Do you have my lipstick in here?

Teresa, it's in there. I never touch anything.

I'm telling you. Don't get me crazy.

Here it is.

Thank goodness.

All right, let's go.

My ass looks really good in this. I like my butt.

Look what I just got on me. Lipstick.

Damn!

We have to get going because I'm going to get crazy. The twins are late.

Oh, and they'll probably all be outside when we open the doors, too.

The girls will be waiting for you, as usual.

I'm not surprised at all that the twins are late, but I don't get a lot of time

to party, and I don't have a minute to waste, so this gambling train is leaving

without.

Can you play blackjack without Joe? I feel so wrong right now. Like, he always

tells me when to hit and when not to. Blackjack is the 21, right?

21. Okay.

I don't know blackjack from my freaking ass.

Blackjack, blackjack, blackjack.

Stay. You're good, Amber.

Why is that a set? You have to assume she is 15.

You want her to bust.

21. Yay!

I'm psychic. I knew I was going to win this.

I think it's because the twins are not here.

All right.

Were the twins almost ready when you left?

No, I think they were still, like, just curling their hair or whatever.

Cool. Cool setting.

Cool.

Honestly, we'll be done by the time they get down here. We'll be all ready for

dinner.

Hello?

Amber?

Oh, gosh.

I know they did.

I'm shocked they went downstairs gambling, to be honest with you.

I just feel bad for my sister because Nicole gets this magnificent

suite and they just leave us. I found that to be very rude.

Obviously, they weren't taught manners.

I should hit it.

Oh, my gosh.

Is this the group of considerate biatches? Welcome to the party.

That knock on the door to say we're leaving?

I said we're going.

It would have been considerate, girls, to be like, girls, we're leaving.

We came out of the room. I don't know what happened in your room. We're not

roommates.

You're not roommates. I agree.

Really, I didn't realize you guys were waiting. I'm so sorry.

No, I'm just a girl's girl.

We don't roll that way. We're on the street together. You kind of like knock

the door when you go down. But then again, Amber, that's just the way we

And all of a sudden, the twins come marching down with this chip on the

right at a fight. And they sit down and they start looking at me.

Not at Melissa, not at Teresa, not at Dina.

Right at me.

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

This is not a huge issue. Would you like my left kidney?

Would you like that?

How do you live your life like this?

Like, you're like, I want to bang my head against the wall because you're so

freaking intense all the time. Oh, my gosh. Amber, the veins in your neck are

popping out.

I feel like any moment that Amber's going to leap across the blackjack

the chips are going to go flying.

And it's not going to be pretty.

I am so sick of this.

Release. Release, Amber.

Hold on. Hold on. Can you finish? I'm sorry.

Because they're killing me right now.

Holy.

I'm really getting annoyed. We need to stop.

I did not come to Atlantic City to babysit. And I'm just over it already.

I'm ready to take my winnings and go buy a pair of shoes.

Lots? That's so boring. That's for, like, old people.

My mom plays slots.

Thank you!

Exactly. How old is she?

Who are you taking?

Okay, let's sit there and pull the thing, pull the thing. Go home and pull

Jimmy's thing, because really, that's all you should do.

It's boring.

My head is spinning on all the cattiness and the bullshit, and it's hard to keep

it straight.

I'm happy that you were happy, Sarasa.

Good, let's go.

The club starts in like 15 minutes. You guys want to go over there? Good, let's

go. I want to drink. I want to hear music.

Bye, girl. Thank you. Thank you.

All right, let's just leave Amber.

Coming up next.

I want to, like, be honest with you. Like, I want to break it down and show

what muscle's all about.

With Teresa still in Atlantic City, Joe Giudice and his daughters settle in for

a movie night.

Oh, my God, there is poop.

Why didn't you pick it up?

I don't know. I thought it was gone. There was two big ones.

Get real. That's so gross. Go get a napkin. That's so gross.

You picked Bella poop.

She did where? No, it's behind the couch.

Bella, you're pissing me off with your hidden poops.

It's so disgusting.

Joe and I are definitely not like how our parents raised us. I know my mom

always tells me, you know, like to be a little bit more stricter.

Look at my four little pretty girls. Come over here, Gianna.

I'm very affectionate, and Joe is also, and we give a lot of kisses to our girls

and tell them how much we love them because I want them to know that I love

them.

Well, you're not supposed to lay down and eat popcorn. You're supposed to

up.

Melania! Really, Melania, really.

Open and shut and don't... You know she looks just like you.

I'm nothing like her, though.

But she looks just like you.

I really don't remember how I was growing up, but I hear stories. I mean,

Kathy and Rosie say that I was just like Melania.

And Joe was the same way. Like, I hear stories that, you know, Joe's mom says.

So I guess he has a little bit of both of us.

Give me a kiss, Joe.

Give me a kiss.

Give me a kiss.

All day, every day. Give me a kiss.

All day, every day. All right, let's watch the movie now.

Be quiet.

Quiet. Quiet.

How are we going to watch a movie, Melania, if you don't be quiet?

Away from the kids, the ladies are feeling frisky as they head to a

lesson to learn some spicy new moves.

Name is Ivan Cain's Royal Jelly Burlesque Nightclub.

Grab a boa and grab some champagne. You can go ahead and put your clutches down.

This is not fair. Like, I've never taken dance classes.

What I've heard about Melissa was a dancer, a stripper, something like,

got the advantage.

And let's head to the stage.

Let's go.

We're going to shimmy.

Shimmy doesn't mean that you have to have large breath to shimmy up. None of

have that problem. It's all about your shoulders and whatever you have on top.

My ass struggles more when I do that.

I'm learning some really good dance moves I can now take on my husband in

bedroom. Great little... What was that? Oh, where do I put my ass?

Oh, that was good.

I don't like that one.

We're going to do it one at a time.

We're going to cheer each other on. We're going to do South versus North.

on, girls.

Hey, listen, Melissa.

She freaking stripped before.

We're like the underdog.

Teresa kept on making off -color comments.

And I thought it would make Melissa uncomfortable because I know she's been

fighting those freaking rumors for God knows how long. It's stupid. We all know

that he was a bartender and not a stripper. So when we come out, you need

come out.

and strike it and just hold it, whatever we do, so it just looks like Pam.

I'll do the hip. Yes, there you go. I'm with the North ladies that tend to be a

little shy.

You know, this is not going to be their thing, but I'm giving them full -on,

like, instructions. I'm giving them face. I'm giving them poses.

Don't underestimate the North side, because this... Wait, we need to watch

We need to watch them. Look.

I really need to make sure my tampon string isn't hanging out.

There you go.

There you go.

Don't worry. No looking at us, girls. No copying. They're going to get hepatitis

B.

Look at Amber go.

Woo! Amber, I think your nipple's about to come out. This is bad.

Like, I really was in it, and I wanted to win. I wanted to be sexy, beat

out, push her right out.

That was awesome.

That was awesome. It's not like the three of us ever worked in a strip club.

Real. Here we go.

Do a leg up. I can't do that.

Oh, that's bad.

Really? Melissa was never a stripper. I mean, that's pretty damn obvious.

He looked like a goat trying to dance for life.

There was nothing sexy about it.

Good job.

Thank you. Y 'all kicked ass. I'm biased because we share the same name, so I'm

going to have to say Amber was my favorite.

Tired of shaking their stuff, the ladies retire to their suite and take a trip

down memory lane to the early days of their friendship.

Listen, I want to know everybody's first impression.

Of what? Of each other. Of each other. The first time we met. Yeah. I have to

way back.

Like when we first met?

Mm -hmm. Okay, well, Melissa, I liked you because I think we met at a ladybug

function, right? And anybody who supports kids with cancer at first, I

So I think, and I always liked her. Like, I don't know, right?

And Dina, I met her when she was pregnant with Lexi.

I thought she was so beautiful. I was like, I love her blue eyes.

This love at first sight. Can I get my like, didn't like, like, like.

Ice princess?

I know this bitch didn't just call me an ice princess.

I prefer ice queen.

Get it right. She's going to insult me. I was completely overwhelmed by you

girls. Every time I tried to talk to you, it was like, ah! Somebody else was

there, and there were tips everywhere, and it was just hard for me to focus.

Yes, we're high energy, but there are times when some people are very boring.

My pits are not always out.

During the day, they're not out. When I'm running around doing errands, no.

when I'm out, my husband likes when I look sexy. So really, there's a time and

place. Like, you spend 60 grand on them, Dina. Like, do something with them. She

should try it sometime.

Because personally, I think, like, she should spice it up a little bit.

Really. Do you remember your first impression of me? I mean, that was like

years ago.

I thought you were very, um, like, A little bit of a know -it -all. A little

bit.

Did it change?

No, you're still a little bit of a know -it -all.

Do you take that negative?

A know -it -all? No.

I'm trying to be real.

I'm trying to be real.

I mean, it could be very annoying.

Amber?

No, I'm just saying, a know -it -all isn't like, oh my God, she's a horrible

person. But it's like, oh my God.

Sometimes I shut the hell up.

No, no, you were saying there's nothing. I'm saying nothing.

Come on, Amber.

Oh, come on, say to me. I want to know your first impression of me.

Toughest male.

That's what I would say.

And just noble.

You will say everything and then think about it.

No, no, I don't think about it. Everything that I say is thought about

mean it. So if I say something to insult you, I mean to insult you.

100%. No, no, I so mean to insult you.

I didn't trust you at first. I was like, okay, I don't like the girl. I have to

be honest with you girls.

I feel like we are so awesome out. We have such a good time. And we're like,

yeah, yeah, yeah. And then when we talk, it's like, I want to be honest with

you. Like, I want to freaking take it down and show you what muscle is all

about. Like, I just, I'm so mad with some of the shit that you say.

That's okay. You think I kind of just say what I feel. Great. At times, my

husband probably feels the same way.

There has to be honesty.

Let's get it out there because then we can move on from here and we can build,

like a building block, you know, the bricks.

I'm so done with this night.

I'm sorry.

I'm going to bed.

There was several times that I was in these very confrontational moments that

was like, why am I sitting here taking this?

I'm out of here.

Let the children play.

I love you.

Good night.

Okay, she loves you. Good night. And I know you're upset.

She's upset. I love you.

Tuckered out by all the talk, forever friends Dina and Teresa settle in for a

slumber party.

Boring bitch, when you coming to bed?

At least I'll bore you to sleep.

Do you hear that?

That's the sound of the twins not talking.

Heaven. So what steps are you doing with hair laid out like Medusa on the

pillow? I'm like trying to sleep so my hair stays good.

And you're not going to roll over or anything?

Nope. I sleep like this.

There's no ambient involved in this?

No.

When I need my hair to last, I just fan it out and I sleep careful.

I lay there all night and I wake up in the same position.

Even with Jill, I'm like, don't touch the hair.

But Jill is always on top of you. How is that not going to work?

I'll go like this.

Or I'll go like this.

Don't touch the hair.

Teresa may sleep like Sleeping Beauty, but hopefully her perfectly sculpted

won't get messy in Amber's boot camp workout.

I've never trained five girls at a time, but I'm up for it. All right, so what

do you want to work on?

Amber, catch.

I'm just kidding.

I am my most comfortable in the gym. I go every single day. Even when I went

through the chemo and the cancer, I was constantly working out because it just

makes me feel strong and powerful.

You like it?

We're going to do 10 on each side. Okay. Just hold it like this, tummy tight,

and sit back. Okay.

Lie down, breathe.

Amber, how do you know all this?

I have my master's in exercise physiology.

And then I did fitness shows.

Oh, you did? You competed?

I competed.

Did you ever win?

No.

All right. Did you guys do this one too, the deadlifts?

I'm hard.

I'm all down with the exercise. I even jog from time to time. But after last

night, I feel like I have AC in my joints. My nose is running. I just want

stretch and get some of the toxins loose.

We're going to do front plank, what she's doing, and then we're going to go

side plank.

Oh, I hate side plank. And we're going to do it for 30 seconds, okay?

I'm shaking.

That means your core is working.

That means I'm going to throw up.

Dina. Mm -mm.

You can never afford to be lazy.

Because she's going to be single soon.

Woo! Let's go, girls!

And around!

And around!

There you go. This is a good time to do Kegels, ladies.

Same time, squeeze that chuckle in.

Up next.

You have made comments before about, you know, speak English. How do you spell

big? K -A - E -H -Y.

Kathy.

Man, it got cold.

It is hilarious.

Hey!

Those cannolis look so good.

Reno, I want you to take a picture of me in the cannoli. I should be the cannoli

queen. How do I get in this thing? Fall down.

Get out of here.

Get underneath, yeah.

Fall down.

Put your head, put your lung, put your head up.

I love cannolis.

But I have to watch out how many cannolis I can eat because... Oh, my

Don't I look cute?

Oh, yeah. Waddle, waddle, waddle. I don't know.

What the heck?

No.

We're having a new queen today.

Yeah? I'm the new cannoli queen.

Leave her in there for a while.

Amber and Jim's friendship with Nicole and Bobby may have crashed and burned,

but before all the fighting, it was smooth sailing.

Here's a look at how their friendship used to be.

I just want to get everything.

I'm really starting.

Why is he always late, though?

He's always late.

Maybe Jimmy's getting a sexy on.

You know, you can't always blame Amber.

I'm glad you said that.

Freezing. Be careful.

You're okay.

Watch your head.

Watch the eyes, honey.

I think they're here.

Oh, my goodness.

I think they're here.

Hello. How are you guys?

Hi,

baby. How are you?

Let me ask you a question.

Go ahead. What happened to your watch? Did it break?

Did somebody step on it? Did you leave it at home? Did your dog eat it? What's

up, baby? I love it.

How are you? Hello.

Good to see you. You look...

Dapper. I'm so glad that Nicole and Bobby are together because I love

and Bobby is like my family. My kids, again, call him Uncle Bobby.

They're a breath of fresh air. They're just fun, and they're good people. My

daughter, Isabella, absolutely loves them.

I need to do a toast to the fabulous four for Beautiful 2014, to Nicole's

fabulousness, and Amber. Uh -oh, I'm nervous.

Keep on dancing, keep on singing, and do what you do. Thank you. To Jimmy

Sexton, may you maintain it for another year.

He will.

Cheers.

My cousin was from Chicago, and he didn't get the whole, you're sexy.

But he loved it. Or my friend Andrea from New York, you're sexy. You call

and Dunkin' Donuts sexy.

You call Jim sexy.

Everyone you call sexy. So when you say, Nicole, you look sexy, I'm like, oh,

please, save it.

When something does it for me, whether it's a piece of banana bread, whether

it's an outfit, I call it sexy.

Now, if I don't think you're sexy, I'm not going to tell you that you're sexy.

That's just how it is. You have to earn the word sexy.

Oh, my Lord. We all have a red -hot, fiery personality and evening break.

not busting each other's chops all the time.

And then we touch each other's soles left and right. It's all about soul

-touching. That's right. To me, like, that's deep.

It is deep. And what do you think about that?

Do you like being deep?

Oh, you know what?

He did not just say that.

She did not just ask you if you like it deep.

Talk about touching a soul.

I met my Amber. All right, put it on me. Look at that.

That's touching a soul. Where do you get that? I can't tell you. You can go buy

them. Where that flower came from? Amber and I have a true friendship.

I love how she likes to have a good time. I love how she loves people.

I love how she makes me laugh.

She just has a good heart and a good soul.

Ah, place mat. Place mat.

Puts their mat, is what I call them. I like them. They look like sons.

Did you just say... You missed the whole thing.

Oh my god.

Okay,

another drink?

She did,

she did. Seriously?

Why?

There's a facility up the street I can park her at, get her a nice white coat.

Oh my god.

Teresa and Kathy's relationship has been on the mend, but Teresa didn't find

Kathy's Christmas gag gift that funny.

So now I can open mine? Teresa's turn.

A dictionary!

You mean that! That's perfect for you!

Who bought this? Oh, it's on fire!

I'll give it to my kids.

So Teresa wants to spell it out for her.

Thank you.

Thank you. Hi.

How you doing, ladies? Can I order some hot water with lemon?

And can they make a hot toddy?

I was, like, sick for a couple days. Oh, my God. I was, like, drained. Yeah. I

needed to, like, relax. I could not even get out of bed. Yeah.

Hello. What a nice surprise.

Hi. How are you?

I crashed your party.

How are you? Hi. Good to see you. Good to see you, too.

I haven't seen Therese in quite some time. I haven't had a chance to catch up

with her, so I want to just hop over and talk to her a little bit about what's

been going on, and I need to ask her for a favor.

So, what's going on? How's Gia doing?

She's doing good.

13's a hard age. Like, wait till they're Alexi's age, 18, and talking about

dropping the V -card.

That's a whole other ballgame.

Dropping the what?

Wait, what's the V -card?

Losing your virginity? Oh, my God. Oh, that V -card. Oh, my God.

Oh, that looks good.

Did you care for any fresh pepper or parmigiano?

Oh, no. I'm good. Thanks, honey. All right. Buon appetito. Enjoy.

Gracias.

I want to share something very exciting with you guys.

I am writing a cookbook, and it's almost done.

My editor called me and he said, would you know any foodies that would write a

blurb for you? And I would love it if you would write a blurb for me.

From the back of my book.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Um,

hold on.

Let's see.

Blurb, B -L.

Okay, blurb. Okay, a short publicity notice as on a book jacket.

Right.

My dictionary comes in handy. I wish that you took that little one. You

it that night.

A dictionary? Really, Kathy?

Let's see. How do you spell bitch?

K -A -T -H -Y.

Kathy.

About the dictionary, we were at a cousin's Christmas dinner. Right. I

it off.

Right. But then I was just like, kind of weird. I mean, I haven't seen you in

nine months. Okay. We haven't talked.

Uh -huh. And then, you know, in one sentence you're asking me to write a

Uh -huh. And then in the next sentence you're giving me a dictionary.

Um, I didn't understand.

I'm like, I'm a dictionary blurb? Teresa, if I said there was a full moon

outside, you would look at me and say, what are you saying about my ass? I

that's the way it is with you and I. No, it's not. Yeah, it is.

It was never like that, so maybe, you know. Well, I don't know what happened,

but it's not like that at all. I was asking you as a favor because you are a

cookbook author, and I thought since you are family and it would be coming from

you, I would be honored to have your blurb in there. It wasn't a dig. But

just weird because you have made comments before about, you know, speak

and speak, you know, whatever in the past and stuff like that. Well, it's

The Gap Gift is an annual thing we do. It's lighthearted.

It's a joke, Teresa.

Get it? Ha ha.

I had gotten it. I would have thought it was funny, too, because I mess up. But

you're the one that gave the gift, so you would never pick that one. Yeah,

It makes me uncomfortable, and I think we should just leave it at that.

No. Leave it at that.

Why? Because you say it's time to leave it at that. Okay, so then what do you

want to do about it?

It makes me uncomfortable, and I think we should just leave it at that.

No.

Leave it at that.

Why? Because you say it's time to leave it at that. Okay, so then what do you

want to do about it?

Maybe if you just admit it was kind of a joke.

It was a joke, but not only to her.

It was a joke geared to any one of us at the table. I'm just letting you know,

like, I was hurt by it.

I just don't want anything taking me down.

Whatever I tell you and tell you at face value, you don't take it at face value.

You always think there's something underlying, and there's not.

I'm telling you right now that there was nothing underlying.

Melissa screws up the English language, and she's a teacher.

No, but she didn't pick it up. I picked it up because Rosie put it in front of

my face.

Then take it up with Rosie.

But Rosie's not asking me to write a blurb for her.

But that has totally something separate.

That's fine. If you don't want to write the blurb, that's totally fine.

That's fine.

I just thought you would want to support me and see me do well, too.

I wish you, Kathy, I wish you all the best. It's fine.

I've gone to her cooking demonstrations.

I've gone to her book signing.

I asked her to write a simple blurb, and she found a reason why she wasn't going

to.

Teresa's putting a dick in dictionary.

If you don't want to do it, then just say so. And that's completely fine.

I'm a little uncomfortable with the whole situation.

That's fine. I'd rather you be honest and say that you don't want to do it.

I think that you really need to stop being so defensive and taking everything

that I say offensive.

We're just going around in circles.

Next time on The Real Housewives of New Jersey.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey reunite for a dramatic three -part

You've obviously been going through a terrible time.

I'm still numb.

You never think that something like that is actually going to happen to someone

you love. It just feels like a bad dream, you know. I cannot sit here and

like everything's fine.

That's what you're going through. That was my mother.

Holy sh... Here we go. You know it looks good, by the way.

Dina, you wrote in your blog about having funerals in your head for those

cross you. Did you do this for Caroline and Jacqueline?

I'm just going to sit this one out. The toxic exchange that I choose to stay

away from. I need a boy.

Me feeling doesn't act like that.

Your zen, sick bullshit does not work in my world. Has Jim ever embarrassed you?

Who are you talking to? You! Who are you talking to? Is there a bathroom

somewhere? Don't ever repeat about my sister. Next time I want somebody to

on my grave, I know who to call.

Days ago, you were sentenced, Joe, to 41 months in prison, Teresa, 15 months.

I love you guys, really.

How is Joe different since he lost his dad?

He drinks a lot more now.

How do you navigate that while Teresa's away?

Teresa, do you blame Joe for this mess?

I'm going to make myself a better person.

I'm getting a little emotional with you having this conversation.

You're going to make me cry, Andy.

This is probably gonna be my last reunion.