All language subtitles for Howard Stern (Sisters)

Let me see you spank
your sister. I want to

see that if she likes
it so much. Go ahead.

Let me take a look at that. Now
Jade is getting over Taylor's lap.

Or she's just gonna bend her... oh!

Scream stuff out while she spanks you.

Why are you laughing?
You're being punished.

I'm Jade. I'm Taylor. We work
at thegirlshouseonline.com and

we're sisters and we're gonna
do a little lesbian act for Howard.

Now why do you guys want to do this
for Howard? Why bring this down to him?

Um, I guess we really love Howard
and we want to promote our website.

Now do you guys do like
lesbian stuff together all the time?

Um, yeah.

And you guys are you
guys are legit sisters? Yes.

Who's older? You're the oldest sister?
By how much? I'm 22 and she's 19.

Now when you say you
can perform an act of

lesbian like what is
what does that entail?

I don't know. We'll see.

All right, you're gonna like this now.

I've got uh not a mommy in here but I
got the two sisters and they are sisters.

We're gonna find out.
These are two sisters who

get it on with their
step-mom and each other.

They do this already. You're
not encouraging anything.

Yeah, I'm not encouraging it.
They're doing it. I'm just reporting on it.

I'm like 60 minutes. I go
out and find weird stuff.

You did an undercover investigation.

Yeah. This is all wrong, by the way.

Don't try this at home.

Don't do this at home, kids.

Here they are, two really attractive girls.

Obviously sisters. They
almost look like twins.

Oh, my God. Look at this.

You're not twins, are you?

No.

Who's older?

Oh, Jesus.

Nice.

This is nice.

I don't even know which
one of you I'd want to do first.

I want the one on the
right. I think the right one.

You already made a choice.

The one with the belly button tattoo?

Yeah, I want the right one
with the sunshine on the head.

Why is that? I like them both.

Well, they're both gorgeous,
but I'm a little partial to darker girl.

I don't know. A little darker.

Why is it such a turn-on to men that
two sisters get it on with each other?

I have no idea.

It's so wrong.

These two are sisters, right?

I mean, we had you
checked out and everything.

Now, how old are you guys?

Now, who is Jade?

Me.

All right. Jade, get
close to that microphone.

Hold that right up there.

Yeah.

Jade, how old are you?

I'm 19.

You're 19.

Oh, that voice. Are you kidding me?

I got to go. I've got to go.

Ah, check, please.

I can't hear that.

You like that?

That's crazy.

You're a very sexy girl.

Jade, where did you grow up?

Um, Florida. Fort Lauderdale.

Fort Lauderdale.

Oh, my God.

Every word's sexy.

Is that what you're saying?

Oh, my God. She sounds like she's in
the middle of an orgasm with every word.

Really? I'm thinking that she
sounds like she's on drugs.

Are you on drugs?

No.

You're not on drugs?

I'm a little sick. I'm a little sick.

What's the matter?

Oh, that's what that is.

What's wrong?

What's wrong with you?

I have a colon.

Oh, okay.

Fix your head, baby. It's all crazy now.

Yeah.

Take off those headphones and try it again.

Yeah, get it all together.

I think she's... Listen, okay.

What? What are you saying?

It's more than a bad pollen count today.

I think there's something going on.

All right. You got a smoking little body.

How tall are you?

I'm like 5'6 ", 5'7".

5'7".

They got on high heels
because they look taller.

You're 5'7". You're 19 years old.

What do you weigh? You probably weigh what?

You're not even 100 pounds, are you?

No, I weigh like 120.

120? Really?

Geez, you're skinny as hell.

Wow.

And your sister's name is Taylor, right?

Yes, it is.

Are those made-up stripper-type names or...

Are you strippers?

Jade and Taylor, did your mom raise you

knowing you were going to be strippers?

Yeah, they're going to be strippers,

so let's give them stripper names.

Are you guys strippers?

No.

What are you? What do you do for a living?

We work at girlshouseonline.com.

Doing masturbation shows.

Oh, you do masturbate? I do those too.

Nobody watches.

That's not stripper.

You know why they're not strippers?

Because by the time you get online,

they're already naked doing themselves.

How much money can you
get doing masturbation shows?

A lot.

What do you pull down a week?

A week? A couple grand.

Not as much as dancers make, but...

Yeah, a couple of grand a week.

You don't have to leave the house.

We don't work all the time.

Right.

How often do you work?

A couple days.

And you make a couple grand a week?

That ain't bad.

Yeah, I do it.

When you guys work, how long is the shift?

Do you guys work for like eight...

Like six hours, six to eight hours.

That's a long day.

Let me understand your website.

Playing with yourself is bad.

But you don't have to play
with yourself the whole time.

No.

We work out in the gym, we take showers.

Right, guys watch that?

Tan.

Yeah.

I'm gonna watch it tanning.

Yeah.

I gotta tell you, I'm pretty
aroused right now hearing about it.

Wait, I don't want to burst any bubbles,

but I want each of them to say at
the same time the other one's birthday.

If they're sisters, they
know each other's birthday.

Come on, let's do it right now.

On the count of three.

Birthdays, go.

Well, you have to say my birthday.

You say hers.

August 5th.

And you say hers.

December...

Caught, busted.

All right, Nick.

I don't really know her birthday for real.

Wait a minute.

Who's the older one?

She's older.

What do you say, is that right, Gary?

You got birthdays right, Gary.

She knew my birthday.

I'm a little inquisitive about this one.

I don't see any similarities.

December 26th.

You don't see any similarities?

No, I really don't.

I have another sister who's,
um, she wants to be just like us.

She's 17.

She wanted to come on the show, but...

All right.

Yeah.

And she's waiting until she's 18.

Say I swear on the Lord
Jesus Christ you're really sister.

You said you checked this out.

How did you check it out?

We did.

We got licenses.

We got birth certificates.

We got all kinds of stuff.

Birth certificates.

Yeah.

And they have the same mother.

Yeah, you don't even have
to throw a cog in this wheel

because, uh, I'm telling
you, we've checked it out.

Nice ass.

Jay, let me see.

Oh, you got a great ass too.

Now how do you get it
on with your stepmother?

Where is she?

She's, I don't know, she
like got scared or something.

Did your father find out?

I don't know, something
happened because she didn't come.

Right, I see.

She was supposed to come
on her way and she didn't come.

Right, okay.

Can I ask him a question?

Go ahead, ask him.

So your birth father is married
to this woman, your stepmom?

Uh huh.

So what's the situation
where your birth dad

is like into letting you
guys do wacky stuff

on the internet?

He's cool with that?

He doesn't like it at all, but.

But he lets you hang out
with his wife and do stuff.

You do his wife on the internet?

Uh uh.

No.

That's just a personal thing.

Yeah, how did that come about?

It happened like a couple times.

She came to the girl's house and you know.

How old are you Taylor?

I'm 22.

Oh, you're 22.

So Jade is 19, you're
22 now, you're 17 year

old sister, does she
get it on with you guys

too?

Um, no, but she wants to.

Would you be having
sex with your own sister?

I don't know, I think she's beautiful.

I like girls.

She is beautiful.

I like girls.

Right, right.

And I know she's clean and you know.

Well how did this start?

Um, we just went out one night and
we just went in the home and just did it.

Oh no!

What age were you when this started?

I want to change to the left one.

Not age.

I was 21, I just turned 21.

I'm touching myself by the way.

I can't take it, I'm out of my mind.

Right.

Now, so it started when you were 21?

So you were 21.

So it started when you were 21?

So it started two years ago?

Right, two years ago.

You guys had never even thought about this
in high school or junior high or anything?

Um, I don't know, have you?

Yeah, I thought about it.

Really?

Sometimes because.

Why did you think about it?

She was working in the industry before me
and I just thought she was pretty too, so.

Oh, I ask her questions a lot.

Wow.

I ask her a lot of questions.

You just thought she was pretty.

Yeah, she's hot.

I want to switch now.

Now your dad is a big fan of you.

Yeah, he's a big fan of me.

He's a big fan of me.

He's a big fan of you.

Sometimes.

You do?

Oh my God.

You have the right answer.

All the right answers.

I'm on to me.

I gotta go.

I'm gonna wreck into the friggin woods.

I gotta go.

Okay.

Oh my God.

You can see us at Girls House Online.

What is your website?

Girlshouseonline.com.

That's how you say it?

Girlshouseonline.com.

And we're gonna be opening our own website.

I think it's ultragirls.com.

Not that I don't believe you girls, but...

Ultra sisters, ultra sisters.

Can we see your website?

Ultra sisters.

Can we see a kiss or
something or mess around

with each other a
little bit so that we know

that this is for real?

Oh no.

Oh man.

Oh my God.

They do love each other.

Look at this.

Hands on the breasts.

Oh my God.

You guys do.

You're in love.

I can't.

I need more proof.

I need more activity.

I'm gonna marry you.

Oh my goodness.

I better leave.

I mean I kind of believe you,
but I need a little more proof.

I think one should sit on
the other one's lap a little bit.

Why doesn't one sit on the other
one's lap so we know it's for real?

It's just not consistent.

No, Jay, face her.

Please help us.

You should face your
sister when you sit on the lap.

Oh, straddle?

Straddle your sister.

How dare you?

There you go.

Yeah, yeah.

That'll do it.

Oh my God, this is crazy.

These are two sisters.

Baba Boo is gonna help.

This is wrong.

Oh my goodness.

They're in love.

You're missing the...

I've got the better view.

You do.

I gotta move my seat.

I just can't stand up right now.

They're straddling one another.

The tops are coming off.

She just removed the top
and was having a good time.

The top's not clumsy.

They can come off right now.

The tops are in the way, girl.

Well, we're trying to keep it on TV.

You got a smaller one.

Let me see.

Oh, that's nice.

No, they look good.

They look...

They match.

They look very similar to one another.

That's good.

You're sisters.

You should have that.

We got them the same day.

Same doctor?

Yeah, you should have the same doctor.

Good.

What's the next level for you guys?

What can you do past this now?

I mean, is it just sisters, or are
you going to bring in other relatives?

My little sister.

All right, the little sister.

The little sister.

That's right.

They're waiting for one to grow.

Now, you say she's 17.

When she's 18, you can bring her in here?

Yeah.

Man, you girls are hot.

On her, too.

Yeah, Charles, go ahead.

Yo, Howard.

Yeah.

I've never been more happy
to be sitting in traffic, man.

I just blew through an
entire box of Kleenex.

Really?

Really, I believe it.

Oh, my word.

You've got to put this
on the E Channel, buddy.

I've got to see this.

These girls are very,
very, very good looking.

I'm sitting on roots for myself.

And we're rooting for you.

Oh, my God.

Is it safer to be with your sister?

I mean, is it just like you feel a
sense of security being with her?

And what about what society says?

You don't care that it's wrong
to be with your own sister?

Do you get any flack?

I don't think it's...

I mean, some girls say
it's wrong a little bit, but...

You don't care.

I don't care.

And I put the handcuffs on her and I...

You handcuffed her to the towel rack.

So with her hands, she was bound.

She was naked in the shower.

You were nude in the shower.

With the shower running.

She was handcuffed underneath the shower.

The water was running all over her body.

And what did you do?

You just started...

You just ravaged her?

I shaved her and...

You shaved her?

Uh-huh.

She was handcuffed and you shaved her.

And was she protesting?

She said, let me out of these handcuffs?

A little bit in the beginning.

How did you feel?

Were you shocked that you were handcuffed?

Yeah.

Did you like it?

I liked it a lot.

She was laughing.

You liked it.

Were you laughing the whole time?

Were you a little nervous that
your sister might get too aggressive?

Did she spank you in the shower?

Is it difficult to have
somebody else shave you?

Yeah, I thought that was kind of weird.

But it got you excited, didn't it?

It is kind of weird.

It's so weird.

We need to see that.

It was fun.

I washed her hair.

You washed her hair?

Yeah.

So it took care of her.

And did you spank her?

Did you get a little physical with her?

Yeah.

Wet spanks are good too.

They hurt the most.

Did she get angry with you that she was
handcuffed and you had to discipline her?

I like to be spanked.

You do?

You like to get spanked a lot.

What do you mean?

Like a real red hand?

Yeah.

You like to get spanked a lot?

Yeah.

You like to get spanked a lot?

Yeah.

What do you mean?

Like a real red hand?

Now I know what you're doing.

Really?

You like when you were
handcuffed and you got spanked?

Yeah.

And did you say, no, don't do that,
but you really wanted to do more?

No, she said, no, don't do that.

But she's...

What happens when it starts really hurting?

Do you try to get her to stop?

No, I like it when it hurts.

You do?

Yeah.

We entered a spanking
contest back in Florida.

Now, what is a spanking contest?

We won.

Or is she just going to bend her...

You scream stuff out while she spanks you.

Bad girl.

On it.

Nice.

Why is it such a turn on to men that
two sisters get it on with each other?

I have no idea.

It's so wrong.

Can we see a kiss or something
or mess around with each

other a little bit so that we
know that this is for real?

Oh, oh man. Oh my god,
they do love each other.

Look at this, hands on the breast.

Oh my god, you guys do, you're in love.

I can't.

I need more proof.

Those bikinis, is that your own underwear?

Yeah, these are our own.

You guys walk around in
leopard print panties all the time?

Is that what you do?

Well, a lot of other panties too.

Do you guys, when you get dressed
in the morning, do you ever say,

hey, let's all wear the same
panties and the same clothes?

Yeah, sometimes.

And we have a lot of lingerie.

We love to dress each other up.

You do?

Do you still live together?

Yes.

And you sleep in the same bed?

No.

Sometimes.

Well, yeah, sometimes,
but we have different rooms.

Oh, okay.

Right.

And do you crawl into bed when you
get horny and you just do each other?

Yeah, we go out.

I get jealous sometimes
when our boyfriend comes over.

You do?

Yeah.

Do you get into bed with the two of them?

No, I don't like him that much.

You don't?

You don't like when the boyfriend's there?

No.

Yeah, so you never
get it on in front of him?

When you first met him,
but now I don't like him.

Yeah, so you stay away from him.

Why don't you like him?

Is he coming on to you too?

No, he's taking her away from me.

You get jealous?

You do?

Yeah.

Wow, you're really in
love with your sister.

Is it fair to say you two
are in love with each other?

Yeah, I love her.

I'm in love with her.

You are?

I didn't hear that.

I heard I love you in part.

Is this a Greek mythology somewhere?

This has got to be a Greek mythology.

This is great.

What are you saying?

That's nice.

So let me see you spank your sister.

I want to see that if she likes it so much.

Go ahead.

Let me take a look at that.

Now, Jade is getting over Taylor's lap.

Or is she just going to bend her?

Scream stuff out while she spanks you.

Bad girl.

Why are you laughing?

Are you laughing at me?

I'm laughing at you.

With the...

Are you involved with butts?

No, I don't like butts.

No butt stuff?

No salad or tostadas.

Good.

That even makes it better.

And what about...

Now, describe to me, like, when you guys
go out on the town, you dress each other.

What do you like to dress in?

What do you like to wear?

We like to show off our bodies, really.

Beautiful.

Little dresses.

We like little dresses.

When you say little dresses,
like a little dress that's very short?

Yeah, no underwear.

And do you like the, like, flash
guys, like crossing across your legs?

Oh, yeah.

Really?

And do you ever wear
bras with those dresses?

No.

Never.

Some, no answer.

No underwear.

Are they low-cut dresses so that
your boobs sometimes pop out?

Yeah.

Right.

And you dress each other in these dirty
little outfits, and then where do you go?

Do you go to dinner?

Do you go out dancing?

Go out dancing.

Yeah, we go out to clubs.

We go out to clubs a lot.

If we go to a fancy
restaurant, we dress classy.

Yeah.

And you go to a club, and
what happens in the club?

We enter contests.

We win.

We enter the contests
together, like all the

bathing suit contests,
and they all know us,

and we're like, we're...

They call us the champions, and...

We get you every time.

Real tight dress she was wearing.

Jay, do you remember what you were wearing?

I don't remember.

I don't think Jay remembers it.

Oh, Robin, I didn't realize
you were in the room.

I didn't realize anybody was in the room.

I'm looking at her, I say, I
don't think she remembers it.

Do you remember, Taylor, do you
remember what you guys were wearing?

She was wearing my dress, because I
always get a little mad about that, but...

Not anymore now, but...

Right.

And what did you wear,
like, real hot shoes?

Yeah, hot, hot little...

Like those, right?

Yeah.

And what were you doing on the...

Like a polo.

Were you guys...

We were...

So you got to be careful.

You have to be careful.

Yeah.

Yeah, I was the one that was more...

I was more aggressive.

I took her shirt off, and she
was looking at me like, whoa.

But she was a little...

Jade, what was going through your mind?

Like, did you say this is wrong?

Was there any...

I think it was kind of wrong when I
first started doing it, and it felt right.

She looked weird, but I kept on...

You kept going.

You kept seducing her.

I kept on going.

You took off her shirt.

I remember you were
like, what are you doing?

I'm like, it's okay, this is...

off your shirt and you started messing
around with her and then I started going

you know in different directions and you
took off her skirt yeah you did and when

you did she was her face was
just like wow what are you doing

you freaked out didn't you?
She let me. Now were either

one of you with girls before
you two got together? I have.

Aha. So this was your first time you
ever been with other girls now? No.

Does your boyfriend ever want
to have sex with you but you

couldn't because you already
had your sister like a half hour ago?

Wow.

Well you girls are hot
what can I say your

father's on the phone
yes go ahead. Dad? Yes.

That's not your dad? He
wants to be there. That ain't your

dad. I don't want to hear any
bull. Glenn you're on the air.

Morning Howard I was wondering
if you could call over to my job I

just messed my underwear and
I'm not going to be able to make it.

You gotta go home huh? Yeah I could write
a note to your boss. I was telling you I

was rubbing up against the steering wheel
I'm surprised I didn't have an accident.

I have to admit I have this big
console I just touch myself through

the whole interview. Yeah you got
that piece of wood under there right?

Yeah you rub up against a piece of
wood. Yeah. I like it. Those girls going to

be in town I'd like to take them out I
got a great limousine and everything.

You and everyone else. Yeah. Good
luck. Yeah nobody's going to make any

money today they're going to try to
give something away to these girls.

Yeah right. And Gary. Not all
night but maybe for a couple

drinks. Is it hard to get you
guys into bed? Yes very hard.

Really? Not that easy no. How
hard is it to just get you back

to your room and watch you
guys? That's not hard right? No.

I would watch that.
How's your little sister

look? She looks good.
She's shorter than us but.

She doesn't have the boobs
yet but she wants them. Yeah

she's going to get a boob
job too. Oh that's great.

And oh wait one of our interns has
a question. I'd definitely take both

of these girls out. You would take
them both out? Aren't you a great guy?

Yeah. Keep dreaming. You
want to go out? Anyplace they

want to go. I'll set my
interns vibe for your attention.

How much will you give us? People
often mistake Eric for Brad Pitt.

Yeah no offense you have to be
a relative. You're not in the family.

Yes Adam go ahead. Hey man I'll
take these girls out and give them

five grand a piece. And there's
also a bonus. What's the bonus?

Well the bonus is if I get to watch
you guys later on I'll throw in an

extra five grand a piece. Wow.
You're going to do that in a minute right?

And you don't have to go to
work this week. John you're on the

air. Hi I'm on I-95 south in Fort
Lauderdale and down in Miami.

And we are very much
awaiting the return of these fine

young ladies. Right
you're praying they'll return.

Yes we're actually going to erect a
memorial on Hollowover Beach. We here

at the Howard Stern Show promise to
send them back to Florida in one piece.

Don't worry because they are
your greatest natural asset. When

will they be back? We might
keep you here in New York girls.

It's like Ellie and Gonzales.
We might lock her up. You

guys are going to have to
go to court to get them back.

AJ are you going to kidnap
them? I'm Mary Sleazes

right now. Now you see
why we can't vote correctly.

Oh yeah Glenn go ahead. Hey
see I wasn't so far off. They are willing

to date a listener. Let me be
the man. I was the first one to ask.

Now girls when you see a
date a listener you'll go out

with them. Glenn you want to
go out with them? Yes I would.

When are you girls available?
Tonight? Glenn you ready to date them

tonight? Yes sir. You got it Glenn.
You're going out with the girls.

Yes sir. You can go. Thank
you sir. I love you. Of course

you do. I do. You, Robin,
AJ sucks but you're great.

AJ how many guys do you give a roll to
to get that job you got? Hold on alright.

See AJ if I knew that guy didn't like
you I wouldn't let him go out with you.

He'd already gotten the
prize. Technically I'm a listener

to the show too. Really.
You're right you are a listener.

You guys want to give a kiss
goodbye? Final kiss goodbye.

I forget what you guys look like when
you're kissing. Can I see that again?

You have Jay's problem.
You can't remember anything.

Oh that's bad. Move your hair Jay. Can you
move your hair Jay? Thank you very much.

Get that off. AJ the director.
Get your headphones off.

I've always hated this till today. Now I'm
insane now. Now you have to have this.

Alright well let me tell you something.
AJ always said one was enough.

What's that website we can see you
girls on? It's www.girlshouseonline.com.

Pretty soon we're going
to have Ultra Sisters.

Pretty soon you're going
to have what? Ultra Sisters.

Oh you're going to have
your own website. Spinoff.

You don't have other sisters
you know of do you? No.

Also you can see it on channel 70.
What is it called? Cablevision Long Island.

Really? At 1230. Between 1230 and
2. There's clips of us at the girls house.

What cable system is showing them? I don't
know. Cablevision is real conservative.

Didn't they give you a hard
time putting Eon? Yeah.

It's a TNA show. TNA I like
TNA. We know what TNA is.

That can't be the regular Cablevision.
You must be on Satan's Cablevision.

Is that like you can watch
it or is it like pay per view?

It's on my commercial
clips. I think you can

watch some of it. I don't
know in Long Island.

It's not Charles Dahlman
it's Charles Manson.

When I kidnap you
you'll be in Long Island.

Alright well let me tell
you girls something.

Jade and Taylor,
fabulous radio, television.

You're beautiful girls and you must
come back and see us again really.

And you must allow me
to bring in some of the

girls from my audience
who want to be with you.

I see on their phones
there's so many girls.

We'd still like to
meet your step mom.

And where is your step mom in all of this?

I had no idea she didn't call us. What a
disappointment that she's not here really.

How about when my other sister turns 18?

When's your birthday?
We've got to wait a year.

She turns 18 in November. Six months.

Six months you'll come back with your new
sister who can have lesbian sex with you?

Why don't you stop by in August so
we can celebrate the half anniversary.

How about we won't it will
be her first time on here.

Yes, introduce her to
lesbianism on our show.

That would be great.

Yes.

She'll do it. She'll do anything.

Any chance your step mom could
be with your other sister right now?

Who knows?

Well let me tell you
something. This is a

fabulous day when you
see this kind of thing.

And let me remind our
audience how wrong this is.

For two sisters to get it
on is morally wrong. It's

against everything Jesus
Christ taught me and you.

Does your mom approve of this?

She does not know.

When she sees you on TV just say
you were doing it as a shtick. That's all.

Listen we got to take
a break. I want to thank

Jade and Taylor and their
website whatever that is.

Say it again.

Girlshouseonline.com

Alright. We'll check the
Girls House on. Oh I see.

See Taylor and Jade on
the TNA show on Long Island

Cablevision channel 70
at 1230 in the morning.

Who knew this was happening?

Yeah. I got to stay up.
And girlshouseonline.com.

That show is on channel 70 every night?

I don't know.

I don't know because we don't live here
but I've never watched it before the show.

But they said it was on.

It's from Tuesday to Saturday.

Yeah. Tuesday to Saturday.

You girls have your own
show and you don't watch it?

It's like a sexy patty do.

Yeah.

On soonultrasisters.com

You guys have a good time in there?

Yeah.

Now guys what would you
say to people who say this

is wrong and all the stuff
you guys did in there?

I love her.

We don't care.

We don't care what people think.

So you don't care?

No.

Did you have a good time in there?

Yeah.

Howard put you at ease?

Yeah. Thank God.

We were a little scared.

You guys want to give a kiss goodbye?

Final kiss goodbye?

I'm like the one grabbing you.

Alright guys just say goodbye.

Bye.

So you guys are going to legitimately
go on this date with this guy tonight?

I will.

Oh yeah.

Alright because I think I'm
going to follow you guys down.

Okay.

You girls. Too much. Come on.

Hey, we're outside of Hush, New York City.

We're going to meet our date right now.

We can't wait.

We don't know what to expect.

Let's go meet him.

Hi.

Wow.

Hi.

How are you?

Which one is which?

I'm Taylor.

Taylor, Jade.

Hi.

Great to meet you.

Thanks for coming.

I can't believe you're such great sports.

Come on, come on.

Sit down.

This looks like a nice spot.

Two handles, set up,
remixed drink over there.

You girls are too gorgeous.

I can't even believe I'm here.

It's like a fantasy to me.

I can't tell you how happy I am to be here.

You made my whole year, not just the day.

You're the best.

Great.

I hear that guys get off on two lemons.

That's true.

I'm a big fan of yours.

You know, I'm a big fan of yours.

Yeah.

You're a big fan of mine.

I'm a big fan of yours.

That's real, there's
nothing fake about that.

Are you wearing a thong right now?

No, I want to see her butt though.

Yeah, would that be okay?

Yeah.

Oh yeah, that's...

That's strong ass.

Whoa!

Oh, a font, a very nice blue font.

Look at that.

That's interesting.

I hear a tattoo on the belly ring.

It's a D, right?

Yeah.

See, I tell you, the body is...

Very small.

I want to get my hood here.

Yeah, yeah, I do that a lot.

I want to get my hood here.

That is what I want to do.

It doesn't really hurt that much,

as opposed to even getting
your belly button pierced.

Do you get pierced?

Admittedly, you're the most
sensitive when you get them pierced.

Pierced?

Yeah, everybody pierces exclusively.

Wow, you're going to
have to pierce my hood.

Yeah, great.

I want it here so bad.

I actually have all my
equipment in the car.

Would you like me to go get it right now?

We can do it right here on the pond.

Oh, great.

It's really big.

It's really big, I want to do it.

Yeah, I do have the stuff in the car.

Do you?

Are you kidding me?

I do.

Maybe I should do it.

Yeah.

Okay, why don't you go get your stuff?

Okay, what we have here is a surgical pen.

Totally safe.

When they cut you open in the surgery room,

they use this to cut the
dotted line, you know.

Okay, over here we have all the equipment,

surgically in sterilized bags.

It reads on the back,

when the vapor arrow turns brown,

the arrow indicates
that it's been sterilized.

Oh my gosh, I don't think
I'm going to let him do this.

I'm going to let him drive you.

But you know what?

Not everybody can be
pierced, you know, in that area.

This is exactly what
you're looking for, the hood.

So before we even start the piercing,

we'll check the area and
make sure that you're good.

Then you can actually be pierced.

Before I set it all up
and sterilize the bar

and get everything all
set up, we'll take a look.

Let's see if we can get
you to disrobe in that area.

And I'm like a doctor,
so I've seen hundreds.

I've actually delivered babies as well, so.

Okay, you tell me.

Okay, let's take a look.

Oh, I see.

Can you do it?

Yeah, actually you won't
have a problem at all.

You have a lot of...

pierceable area.

I think we can do it,

except for the fact that I
thought I was 100% prepared,

but I don't have any gloves with me,

so I don't want to do it
without my gloves on.

Of course, my hands
are very clean. I never...

Oh man, you've seen that for nothing.

Ladies, would you mind
if I get one more dance

between the two of you?

And I do mean between the two of you.

Let's see, here.

Well, the only thing that would
make this evening better for me,

and I mean really a dream evening
that I can carry over and over in my mind

for my next little sessions alone,

is if you girls just
gave me a little

topless show of glass
right here in the back.

All right.

You girls, too much, come on.

All right.

Wow!

All right, it was so nice meeting you.

I loved dancing with you, you were great.

Come on, let's all give a little kiss.

Nice, thank you very much.

You made my whole year.

Yeah, you were great.

Have a nice weekend.

Thank you.

Bye-bye.

Ah, that's a once in a lifetime
thing. Once in a lifetime.

Thank God for Howard
Stern and his radio show.