All language subtitles for Vanderpump Rules – S4E15

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Previously on Vanderpump Rules. I was
just completely disrespectful.

I really, really supported you. I wish I
had, like, I don't have my own place

right now.

Obviously you can stay here. Okay.

Another text message from Stassi
Trotter.

Ever since Stassi's been out of Katie's
life, I think I've liked Katie a lot

more. You look like a goddess right now.
Pucker and Pout is a blob that I

started. Do what I've been doing every
day, but share it with the world. You're

so annoying. No, you're just a tease,
babe.

No, no, whatever, dude. I'm done playing
games with you, babe.

The detective said that Bill's around 11
,000.

I'm going to get a box.

Jax has to get arrested.

I'm suspending you for a couple of
weeks. You're either a liar, you're a

or you're a thief.

Come in.

Hey. Welcome to my home. Oh, my God.
Thank you.

And I forgot about this jumpsuit.

I'm so excited.

Thank you.

So this is it?

Yeah. What has it been like?

Honestly, she's, like, the easiest
roommate ever.

Homegirl is never home.

When she does come home, it's at 6 in
the morning, and she cleans.

She cleans your things? Like, she'll
clean all of this?

She would if I left it there.

And she's single.

Like, all she wants to do is have fun
and drink.

I feel like I have my own apartment, and
Kristen's kind of like the drunk maid

that comes in at 5 a .m.

All in all, this is a good situation.

How does your talk go with Lisa?

It was the worst ever.

I never want to experience a day like
that ever again.

It was just her just shitting on me.

You hate me, Lisa.

You're not important enough to hate the
town.

I had to swallow every ounce of pride.

Anything I wanted to say, I just had to
bury it deep in my ass.

You know what I mean? I tried really
hard to take the high road. I did take

high road.

The high road sucks.

I don't recommend it.

I'd rather give birth to a dump truck.

Yeah, I don't really know what the best
angle is because she's not, she's not

happy still.

Jesus Christ, everyone like calm down.

I didn't kill anyone.

All I ever did was tell a few people to
fuck off. There are so many more worse

people than me. There are people putting
blades in candy on Halloween.

There are people running sprinklers in
the drought and even people stealing

sunglasses.

I feel like you should reach out to
people, like loved ones, like people

are close to her.

I'm scared of everyone.

Oh.

Come in.

Hi. Hattie.

I'm making lip.

Okay. I have things left to do.

I might need to kind of delegate a
little bit. Yeah, of course.

I think it's going to be really
exciting. I mean, I have never done a

this for anything before, and I've never
done anything like Pucker and Pout

before. But I'm really proud of it, and
so now I feel like it's the right time

to have its, like, big launch party.
Yeah.

Pucker and Pout is a fashion blog, and
the purpose of this launch party is to

gain exposure.

It feels so official. I know. It's so,
like,

real, you know? Yeah. You can't take it
to the next level if advertisers and

brand reps don't know you exist.

Hi. So I really wanted to involve some
of the brands that we worked before, you

know, just some, like, people on the
professional business end of things,

bloggers, Vine people.

Oh, cool. Just other people that are,
like, social media influencers. I think

this party is going to get Hucker and
Pal a lot more traffic to it. I'm sure

invited Kristen. I did invite Kristen
and Rachel, so Kristen doesn't have to

come alone.

Okay, that's smart.

Kristen knows enough how I feel about
Stassi.

No, bring her. You would think.

I feel like whether it's the pucker and
pelt party or your engagement party,

Stassi's crashing one of them.
Definitely not the engagement party. I

excited to help Katie plan for these big
events, especially her engagement

party. If I have to hire a security
team, I'll do it.

She hasn't been around, and I've been
totally okay with that. I closed that

door. I let the friendship go. I've been
really happy. We just got engaged.

Like, there's a lot of huge things going
on.

She's doing it now because when she
needs something, she wants to be your

friend. The end of that friendship
caused Katie so much pain. Katie was

devastated for, like, weeks.

I haven't seen her in a year. I don't
really want her coming back around.

Oh, finally. Finally now.

So I show up on time, but you guys
can't. We're here, though. We got here.

Ready. All right. Kiss your mother as
well. Even with those dodgy teeth.

What happened to Max? He was feeling
really lightheaded, fainted, hit a TV

piece of wood.

All of his teeth are f***ed up. I'm the
only person who wants to kiss you right

now. Make the most of it. Not
necessarily true, right? Oh, God. Okay.

I hope you haven't been kissing anybody
seriously with that. I was kissing

someone all night last night.

His face.

No, a different one. Now, suddenly, he's
jumping into something new or jumping

onto something new, virtually.

Max. Hey. How are you doing, buddy?
Great, how are you? You're doing much

better. I can see it in your face. Looks
good, looks good. Let's take a peek

here. Oh, no.

Not very attractive, is it? So just
simply by repositioning the teeth and

putting the back in the right position
and stabilizing them, that's all solved.

Now he's with somebody else. Yeah, he's
a little bit older.

Older. Yeah, he likes the older girls.
She's got to be older. Are you kidding

me? He doesn't really like younger
girls. You kind of think they're all

be honest.

I like the younger ones, though. Kristen
was a bit of an exception, you know.

She was like my cougar, yeah. Oh, you're
still crazy about Kristen.

I don't know what there is in me and
Kristen anymore.

I think Kristen can be a little toxic,
self -destructive.

You treat me like a f***ing boy toy.

Get the f*** out of my face now!

She mirrors his behavior, and maybe
that's comforting to him.

I drunk texted her last night,
apparently. Why would you do that? I

because my emotions spill out of me when
I'm a little tipsy, I guess. Why would

you even do that? Why would you ignite
something?

I've been in this phase lately, a lot of
one -night stands, and it's just not

anything like what it's like to be in a
real loving relationship, like I had

with Kristen. Thank you. I'll see you in
a couple of weeks, all right? All

right. Try to leave that tooth in place.

How are you feeling? You feel better?
Yeah. You feel good? You feel clean?

Perfect. Good.

I drunk texted Lala as well and got
myself in some trouble, so she's a

bit angry at me.

Okay, I will go ahead and confirm you.

You're very welcome. Bye -bye.

Oh, hey, boo.

Hi. What are you doing?

Doing some roll -ups.

Can I just tell you how pissed off I am
at James? Like, I want to tear his face

off. Why?

You remembered my ex, the guy that I've
been dating for a really long time.

There's just, like, something about my
relationship with Hayes that it's just

something I cherish.

Hayes is a football player.

We were together for a long time. It's
always been long distance, but we just

can't quite axe it yet. So he came into
town, and, you know, when we get

together, it's just comfortable, and we
get freaky, just like you deal with your

man when he's in town.

And James sent me a text message that's
about this long, basically telling me

that I'm a whore, I love ugly dudes.

What did you send to her? Do you want to
read it, mate? Yeah. There you go.

So don't say we chillin' when you
clearly got plans with some ugly head.

Oh, this is sweet.

Also heard how you were killing some ass
and kissing me after.

What does that mean? Faith told me that
she was eating some ass the night before

and then we met up the next day. Are you
kidding? Yeah, dude, it was disgusting.

What do you mean? What?

Rim job.

What are you talking about? I am...

Do not talk about things like that in
front of me. I did actually wash Max's

mouth out when he was a little kid, and
I feel like doing it to James.

And I think, actually, I should probably
do it to Lala.

James seriously needs a reality check.
He thinks he can just do whatever and

whatever, and he doesn't understand what
respect is. He doesn't understand how

to properly speak to a woman.

It's literally out of control.

James has a lot of issues.

He's the loudest person I've ever met in
my entire life, one of the most

obnoxious people I've ever met in my
entire life, and one of the most

James can be an...

amateur little twat i mean he's a 23
year old kid yeah but he's a 23 year old

adult right acts like a kid exactly but
she's also a funny one though because

you know what she is trusting of way too
many people that she seems to think of

her friends when they're not like like
example like jackson monkey dumps ass

he's stealing now getting felonies in
hawaii I am not crazy.

Can you calm down?

He is suspended.

He is not working for me. Definitely, I
hope. Will you stop it? That's nothing

to do with you.

I actually don't need any help from
pipsqueak busboy running my business. So

thank you, James Kennedy, but I will
pass on your managerial advice.

I feel like he gets away with
everything. Does he get away with

He's probably going to be standing trial
in Hawaii and he's been suspended. I

hope he is. Well, that's got nothing to
do with you.

You're acting like a little brat.

You need to grow up. Your mother asked
me to give you a job as a busboy. Yes,

I know.

And that's exactly what you will be
doing again if you don't show some

Then Pump's probably going to be a lot
less busy because I've been bringing

people in for my music a lot, actually.

Pump will live before you and after you,
the same as every other of the 26

restaurants, bars and clubs I've had
before.

We have been getting constant reviews on
our music.

You can read the Yelp reviews yourself
on how good the music is. They're

for a CD.

James. Fine, relax.

I don't know who James thinks he is, but
the way he's raising his voice is kind

of getting out of his pram. He needs to
get right back in it. He knows what I'm

talking about. He's English.

See? I'm glad you don't think like that.

Coming up.

I mean, I can either sober up right
after dinner and go home, or we can get

drinks, and I can sleep on your couch
downstairs.

We need to go to a club or something and
listen to music, and I want to see you

DJ. Hi. Hi, what's up?

How are you doing? Good. So I wanted to
talk to you guys about something.

It's not like the thing I want to say,
but just because I'm sure, because then

hear stuff from other people, and I just
wanted to kind of explain.

So I'm having a launch party for my
beauty blog.

Oh, that's awesome. So I'm going to
celebrate it and introduce it, but

unfortunately I can't extend the
invitation to you.

Where I'm from, you don't go up to
someone and tell them about a party and

give them some kind of formal
uninvitation.

So you're telling me I can't go to your
event, Casey?

Is this some kind of American costume
that I don't know about?

I hope you guys understand.

Let me know if you have any questions.
I'll be right back.

So you're having an event or some party
for your blog?

Yeah, we're having the first official
launch party for it.

I obviously was not invited. I just want
to make sure, like, there's no, like,

personal reason why I wouldn't be
invited.

Well, I don't want any drama. I don't
want any other stresses.

So are you saying that if I were to be
there, I would add stress? No, that's

what I'm saying. It's strictly a
capacity thing.

I probably shouldn't care much that I
wasn't invited,

but... It's a sensitive subject for me.
I had this time when I was in elementary

school, and everybody our entire grade
was invited to this party. But once I

there, the plan was to tell me that I
was not invited, and then they made me

out on the curb and wait for my mom.

I could only have, like, 30 people on
the guest list, and the majority of

are industry people.

So don't feel too bad. I completely
understand. I'm happy for you, man.

I hope it goes well. Thank you.

I never sit on my stoop.

I feel like it's kind of gangster that
I'm sitting on the stoop.

Have you heard anything from the lawyers
lately?

Best case scenario, it's going to get
knocked down to a misdemeanor. But I was

waiting to the judge, what do you want
me to do? I can't really do anything

until he tells me what to do.

There's definitely a couple different
scenarios that could happen here. One,

this could be just a slap on the wrist
and it can go away. Best case scenario.

Two, I'd have to go back to Hawaii, go
to jail, have more fines slapped on top

of me.

I'm really ready just for this to be
over with.

I mean, think about how dumb and how
much more money you're going to be

spending. That's why I need to work.

Well, good thing you have me.

Thank God for Hooters.

Hi, welcome to Hooters.

You know, after I apologized to your
mother, what did your mom say?

She just said the same thing that she
said to you. She told me that, you know,

being drunk is an excuse.

I know.

Neither one of my parents drank. Your
mother doesn't have a glass of wine at

night? Very, very rarely.

Brittany's upbringing is very, she's
very, comes from a Christian family.

I haven't even met her mom and dad yet.
They do live on the farm. They don't

drink. There's no alcohol. There's no
cursing. I mean, they're extremely

Southern Catholic Christian or whatever
the hell they are, but they're extremely

by the book.

Isn't it nice out?

Jack!

What? Stop!

It's outside. I told you to get away
from me when you are. It wasn't that

Liquid.

Thank you. Yeah.

Such a gentleman.

And a scholar.

You want to order a drink? Oh, yeah, we
do. We need alcohol.

Sake, beer.

Can we get a large Nagori, please? Yeah.

Big,

big, or ginormous? Okay, massive.

She's a big drinker, so I've got to keep
up with her.

Alex is a good friend of mine that I met
about a year and a half ago. I have a

date on Tuesday.

What is his name?

Alex, yacht captain.

Oh, I know you, Alex.

Thank you. They scare me, but I love
them.

Alex has his shit together.

Close your eyes.

Okay. He has a great career.

You swear to God, though. I wouldn't lie
to you. He's a gentleman.

He's sweet. He's funny.

He's hot.

He's a man.

So what happened with you and that guy?

It's weird to, like, be alone, but now
it's, like, nice. Now you see his true

colors and all that. Yeah.

Like, what a douche.

My first...

Single girl dating experience did not go
well.

Did he move in? Kevin decided to stay.

I thought you were cool. I was wrong.

Lesson learned. Go away.

But Alex is not a little pussy boy like
Kevin.

Thank you. Why do I feel like I'm really
way ahead of you right now? It's fine.

I'll catch up. What do you want to do
after dinner?

Go to the bar and have some whiskey?

Like get drinks? Yeah.

Yep.

Packed a bag?

For what?

I mean, I can either sober up right
after dinner and go home, or we can get

drinks, and I can sleep on your couch
downstairs.

We'll see what happens.

Since I broke up with James, it just
feels so great to have this positive

energy. It's like I'm living a rom -com.

I've changed a lot.

Yeah, since I first met you?

I respect myself, that's why.

I used to not respect myself.

Like, I wouldn't have took any on a date
when I met you. Yeah?

Seriously. I get to have fun with great
guys.

The date is paying the bill. It's brand
new to me.

Oh, really? You used to, uh... No idea.

Just good friends and hot make -out
sessions.

Your first kiss?

It's exactly what I pictured.

Will I get a room?

Dude, planning is so hard.

Wait until it's through. I know.

Hello. Hi.

What are you two doing?

Not gossiping. About to pop a bottle.
What are you doing? I'm going back to

bar right now. Okay. That's what I'm
doing.

I don't know if I've talked to you about
it much, but I have a beauty and

lifestyle blog called Pucker and Pout.
Pucker and Pout. Yeah. I know about

Yeah. I said it was time to really...

Give Pucker and Pat a party, and I
really want you to come. Well, I don't

Maybe I'll come by. I'm not puckering
and pouting.

There definitely comes a point in
everyone's lives at Sir where you just

yourself, this isn't enough. I need to
find something that I really am

passionate about.

So I was thinking about some appetizers
from Sir.

And who's going to pay for it?

Me. I'm paying for all of this.

Okay, I'll give you a staff discount.

Okay. I don't want to support you too
much, because if this is a success, then

you end up leaving me.

This is what I want to see. I want to
see them go off and then get back to

at the service. I don't want to lose
them.

I actually want to talk to you.

Stassi came by.

Was he on his knees?

Virtually.

I don't know how you want to handle it.
I don't want to handle it at all because

I put it to bed. I moved on with my
life. I'm great. I have amazing things

happening. She's been throwing herself a
pity party, and I'm just like, I'm

sorry, but I think that's what you get.
Like, this is your bed. Now you can lie

in it. I don't need to go in and feel
sorry for you.

My friendship with Stassi was mostly one
-sided.

Everything suited her.

Everything was on her terms. I'm done
with her.

I've moved on, and I'm happy without
Stassi in my life.

I would have learned nothing in my life
if I just, like, opened my arms back to

her. I don't want to do it.

Coming up. What goes down in your
bedroom is not my business. And what

in my bedroom is none of yours.

Sir, restaurant name is Lala. How can I
help you?

The restaurant actually opens at 5 .30.

Hi, Chef Joe. I was just coming to check
on the stuff for Katie's party.

Hey, can I talk to you for just a
second?

Yeah.

What's up?

The text message that you sent me the
other night.

Yeah. What about it?

Look, I apologize for drunk texting you,
Lala, but listen.

It's happened a lot, James.

You drunk text me a lot. Most of the
time it's nice though, isn't it? No,

not. You go in and it's like things that
you've obviously been harboring and

then it comes out when you're drunk and
it's not okay for you to speak to me the

way that you speak to me. Okay, what's
not okay is for you to go and toss in

someone else's salad.

Okay, I don't even know where that came
from, first of all. And second of all,

guess what? It came from Faith. Faith
told me. In my bed. Faith told me. When

do intimate things with someone who I
love and adore. It's none of my

Great. But guess what? Don't f***ing
have me in your bed the next day.

Simple. What do you have amnesia, dude?
We just had a conversation at a photo

shoot where we laid down ground rules
and now you're tripping about this. What

are we, friends that we're just making
out? We're friends that make out.

Yeah, and you can have anybody touch
your peep. You can never get mad if

anything happens because I've laid it
out.

Fine, we have.

Okay, listen, you know what? You can do
whatever the f*** you want. Thank you.

Yes, I can. But just don't go trying to
get with me the next day because it's

f***ing disgusting.

You got with me the next day after you.
Lauren.

And whoever else. And I don't think.
Well, what did you do to Lauren? And

did Lauren do to you? Why?

Because that's your f***ing business.
What goes down in your bedroom is not my

business. And what goes down in my
bedroom is none of yours.

James is a spoiled brat.

Spoiled bitch.

When he doesn't get what he wants.

You f***ing hit me up when you're lonely
and insecure.

Those were the days you hit me up, babe.
Those were the only days you were

f***ing lonely and you ain't got anyone
else to f***ing hang out with you.

You're f***ing fake as f*** and you
should f***ing learn your lesson, babe.

That's a stupid thing to say, but
whatever.

Yeah, well, you're a stupid thing to
say.

You look gorgeous.

There was

a pink carpet also, right? Yep. Hucker
and

Pout is Katie's baby, and I couldn't be
more proud of her. So I'm here to help

her with whatever she needs. I will be
her bitch.

Hi. What's going on? So I forgot the
license number. Can we send Tom?

Yes. We've got to do the bar. Did you
bring your shaker?

No, I didn't bring anything.

Did you bring it? Of course I did. I
knew you wouldn't bring shaker. I told

Shut up, dude.

Hi. Wow.

Sexy. Where did those come from?

Boobs off fleek.

Hubby, I'm going to go get those lights,
okay?

Actually, I think Courtney has hers in
her car, and she's going to be on her

here in just a few minutes. So I think
we're going to be okay. By the way, we

got you guys, all right? You guys need
anything, you tell us. If she shows up

and her head starts spinning around like
the extra says, tell us.

Jack starts feeling gift bags.

Jack starts feeling gift bags.

When someone tells you they're going to
start a blog, it's easy to be

incredulous. However, I got to give
Katie credit because she's been kicking

The girls are already at the braid bar.
The boys are already behind the bar.

Now we just need people to come.

Yeah.

Hello.

Is that for me? That is for you.

Thank you.

Might be a little watered down because
it's been sitting in here, but... What's

cracking?

Nothing. Just been looking at apartments
and I found...

A couple that I really, really like.
Yeah?

Yeah. Do you have applications?

Yes. Okay, good.

I feel like such a squatter.

Insane. I realize that, like, I have a
special talent for squatting.

But I already told you, this is actually
good for me. Like, you being here is

good for me because then we can have
slumber parties and watch TV and drink.

Oh,

my God.

So,

I unblocked James' number the other day.
Okay.

4 .07 a .m.

How do you not still love me?

With a kissy face emoji.

That's so annoying.

That's a dick. I have a great group of
friends. I'm dating great guys that are

polite and well -mannered and not mean
and cruel.

Yeah. I really f***ing adore Alex and
I'm really stoked that he's coming

to the pucker and pout thing with me.

It's so weird that I'm not going
tonight. You know what I feel like this

It feels like the engagement all over
again. I was just going to say that.

Because you, like, remember when she
started the blog. Like, I don't. I

around for that.

Yeah, she wanted to do it with me. Like,
we were going to do it together.

And I was like, you know, you never know
what happens in friendships.

I have my own fashion blog.

Try and put that ring up a little bit.
Just as much as you possibly can.

I was there when Katie started the blog.

And I helped her take photos and helped
her with some of the pieces.

It's just another reminder that I'm
missing out on milestones.

I feel like...

about where our friendship is at.

Sad.

Yeah, but she won't respond to me, and I
feel like I don't really know what else

to do.

Have you talked to Schwartz at all?

I've thought about reaching out to him,
but that also feels like I don't want to

go behind Katie's back and reach out to
her fiancé. Like, that's weird.

You've been rocking a hard place because
he was your friend, too.

I just need to find a way to let Katie
know for real that I regret a lot of the

mistakes that I made.

And short could be that back door.

I just don't know what the right thing
to do is.

I don't know.

Oi, how's your mouth doing? You good?

A lot better. Thanks for coming, by the
way. Yeah, dude.

I wanted to talk with you about that.
You don't think I was a little bit rude

your mum yesterday, do you?

I felt kind of f***ing rude when I left.

She knows you're going through a hard
time too, so you're stressed out about a

lot of things.

Yeah. Dude, so I'm already talking to
Lala, so it's not even f***ing open yet,

and I'm already picked off. Like, I'm
already getting f***ing agitated for no

f***ing reason.

Like, these girls seem to think they can
play around, lie, and basically go do

all these f***ing things. What the f***
kind of relationship is this?

Kind of weird, yeah. It's very f***ing
weird. And then that just only gets me

bouncing to Kristen, like, thinking
about Kristen again, like, after f***ing

drunk testing her the other night alone,
which I did it for a reason. Right.

Obviously, when I was going through a
hard time, I would talk to Kristen about

things.

Um, and she would listen. She was good
at taking care of me, you know?

I miss that.

She, she knows me so well, dude. We were
together, like, together non -stop for

over a year, bro, like a year and a
half.

You love each other, you know?

We did love each other, yeah. So, you
know, it's just like I haven't, like,

anyone like, like her yet. Are you still
thinking about her?

Lately, I've been thinking about her a
lot. Am I still in love with Kristen?

Yes. Do I still want to make it work?

Yeah. It's a f***ing thing, but that's,
that's where I am right now.

I just feel like I need to chat with
her. You've got to arrange something

her. She blocks me on all social medias.

I can't go to her house. I'm out of
options, really. But I did hear from

that Kristen's going to be at a launch
party tonight.

So I was thinking we could go crash it,
mate.

You really want to?

Yeah. Well, I owe you a favour, so I
think, yeah, why not?

Damn it.

Coming up. You're fucking Kristen
Doughty. You've made more fucks than

else. You've broken nearly every one of
your fucking friend's hearts.

I'm so proud of you. I'm so, so proud of
you. Thank you.

I want tonight to be interactive.

There's a braid bar right here. There's
three chairs.

I want it to be a whole beauty
experience.

And then downstairs, there's a brow bar,
so if you want to get your brows

cleaned up or whatever. Yes, I might
just want that. And then make mine look

like yours.

Yeah, usually what I do is just kind of
lift them up and trim. Yeah, perfect.

And if I start to get a little bit of a
unibrow, I kind of clean that up.

This is not like getting your teeth
laser whitened.

This is basic upkeep.

It looks good. It looks good. It's not
too much.

Jack, his looks too manicured. Oh,
really?

Yeah. He looks straight off the Jersey
Shore.

It's not a big deal, and it doesn't mean
you're feminine.

You just take care of yourself.

So we're at your blog debut. What
inspired you to get into the fashion

One of my girlfriends, she was kind of
instrumental in encouraging me to kind

put all of my style and beauty tricks
out into the world to share.

I know what you want. I knew the time
would come when you'd be serving me a

drink.

Well, how long do you think we'll be
here?

Ten minutes, ten minutes. Ten minutes?

Just have a glass of wine. I want to
support Katie. That's all I want to say.

Oh, Kristen's ass. That's the first
thing I need to see as I come in here.

You're wearing my collar?

Thank you for coming. You're welcome.

How's it going?

Good. I'm getting a little stressed
because... Why are you stressed?

I don't know. He's pouring sangria.

Hi. Oh, my God.

That's why you're stressed, sweetie.

Tom, Schwozzy, behind the bar. Give it
your best shot. What have you got?

Schwozzy. He's got me hot under the
collar.

When Lisa walks into her room, it gets
hot fast.

Cheers, Katie. I support you, sweetie.

Thank you so much.

Cheers.

I'm proud of Katie that she's actually
pursuing other interests out of Serb.

She's branching out, and I think now
she's got the confidence to do so.

Oh, Jesus Christ.

What's behind us? I don't want to look
back. No,

it's just funny because I had to tell,
like, James the other night at work that

he couldn't come, unfortunately,
because, you know, like, we kind of had

people as it was, and he just walks in.

Hey, James.

Hey, Mom.

How are you doing?

How are you doing?

It's better, yeah.

I mean, it's one thing to crash a house
party. It's another to crash a launch

party. James knows how important tonight
is for Katie, and he was specifically

uninvited. So why the f*** is he here?

I thought Katie was like, oh, you know,
I'm having an event. Oh, yeah, I know. I

crashed it.

That's it? Yeah. You just wanted to come
to a party?

Oh, no. I came to talk to Kristen,
silly.

I'm sorry. Can you just stop? Stop the
headline.

Why? I don't know. It's part of
everything.

Relax. What the f***? Oh, you need to
put Eminem?

Oh, man.

You probably hate me. I don't know the
stories we've heard. I'm James. I just

want to chat with her for two minutes,
that's all.

It's a very good intention. I don't want
to chat with you.

I'm serious shaking his hand like I've
been a man.

So can we go outside and chat real
quick?

Okay, that's cool.

I'll be outside.

Should we hug them?

We'll talk to them.

We'll talk to them. Will you put, like,
a timer on your fucking Rolex that says

four and a half minutes?

All right, I'll clock you.

Have fun. He wants a reaction out of me.

He wants to know that he's adored.

Like, fuck a dick, bro.

Oh, here you are.

Yep, what up? What do you want?

Kristen, why don't you stand off of me?
What is this?

Because I want nothing to do with you.

The last text you sent me was, I hope
you're happy.

I've never been happier in my entire
life.

Like, life is so good.

You're not that happy. That's what
people say when they're not happy. I'm

happy. I'm so happy.

You ain't happy.

I'm going to game. Like, I don't know
what you want from me. I don't. I want

hug it out and be chill.

That's what I want.

But I don't.

I don't even think of you.

I'm not having this conversation with
you to pick.

This is what you do. This is what you
do, and this is how we raise voices

time. No, you don't get to yell at me.
I'm not raising my voice.

You don't get to yell at me. Well, quite
frankly, darling, I'm still with you.

Don't call me darling.

Why? It has nothing to do with you. Why?

Because you're disgusting, and you treat
me like s***. You've treated me like

s*** plenty of times, and I'm forgiving
you for that. I don't want to talk. Shut

up. I'm a f***er.

James,

move on. Date someone. Just leave me
alone.

Ah, f***ing hell.

That went well.

Hey.

Are you okay?

I just feel weird. I just feel weird.

It'll be him. I'll murder him for you.
With my bare hands.

Okay, I'll hold you to that. Put your
skinny ass up. Come here. And throw him

the mall road.

I mean, I feel like I would do that,
but... What?

We're going up. Oh, you're coming to
find me? No, we're good. Let's party.

Coming up. Who decides to text me?

Oh, God.

504. That's awesome.

I want to thank everyone for coming.

It means the world to me that all of you
come out and support.

I couldn't be more proud, and we're so
excited for the future, and I feel like

I'm going to cry, so I'm going to stop
talking.

But thank you all so much. Tonight was
such a success.

The only hiccup is that James showed up,
but even that couldn't ruin it. Dude,

dude. What?

Who decides to text me?

Oh, God.

504. Okay.

What'd she say?

She's essentially saying that she can't
get through to Katie, and that...

She knows she wants to essentially talk
to me so I can relay the message to

Katie. Katie's gotten all her text
messages.

I mean, this is a really exciting time
for you. I'm thinking, like, how far

you've come, really, in, like, the last
two years.

I took control of my life.

When I was friends with Stassi, I cannot
literally remember one nice thing that

she ever did for me.

There's a reason why Stassi is coming
around, and it's...

to benefit Stassi.

It's all about her.

I really do see a lot of growth in you.
I really do.

I have been able to reprioritize, and
the French, you know, Christ is like

someone like Stassi. Like, it was eating
things up in my life. I would not have

had time to focus and do something like
this that I've been wanting to do for so

long, focusing on someone else, because
it was just about her.

Part of me wants to tell her to piss off
and do that.

She would do that to you.

I don't know.

You were just like a little puppy, kind
of sniffing at her heels. I used to see

that. So I'm proud of you that you've
kind of come full circle.

Darcy suppressed Katie.

She kind of told her what to think, and
now Katie's been emancipated. She really

is kind of thriving.

Tonight, it's gorgeous. Everything came
together, and I'm so proud of Katie. Now

you're seeing the Katie that I've seen.
Yeah.

I'm a blast, bitch. Yeah.

That's my job.

Everything is, I got an interesting text
from somebody that none of us have seen

in a long time.

Who's that?

Stassi? Yeah, I feel like she's trying
to ingratiate herself with Katie and

she's, I can't tell if it's in fear or
if there's an angle here. I'm weary. But

if she's like texting me, I'm not
responding to her, she's texting you.

She'll try anything.

Schwartzy's such a softie. I hope that
Schwartzy actually takes a stand and has

Katie's back in this.

If you feel protective of Katie.

I do, I do. You should speak up. Yeah.

It's up to you anyway. You should be
proud of her.

Exactly.

The braid looks good.

Thank you.

Thank you all for coming. I love you all
very much, but this one needs to close.

Thank you for coming. Bye, but everyone
clean up and get the f*** out.

Honey, look at you.

I'm afraid you're around.

Did I do a good job? Yeah, Bubba, you
did a great job. This is a success.

I think everyone had five.

I'm proud of you.

I'm going to just tell Stassi that I'll
sit down with her for a second and chat.

And of every person in the world, I feel
like she's the one that you probably

distaste the most. Yeah, I'm not a fan.

Then why are you going to? I don't know.
Maybe there's a little part of me

that's curious to see if she's sincere
or if she's like angle shooter. I don't

think that she is sincere. I want to
look her in her eyes. I feel like her

kind of like blew up in flames.

And now she's like realizing she was
wrong. And I'm sorry, I was right all

along. I'll be delegating for you, in a
sense.

Don't be like Katie misses you too.

Tell her how it is. If Schwartz really
wants to meet with Stassi, if he has

things he wants to say, that's his
business.

Just don't make it about me. I left the
door open for her. I had to close it. It

was ridiculous.

Way longer than you should have. I know.
And so now that I've closed it, it's

unfair that she's trying to barrel
through it. So you can let her know

How

has

life put me sideways to the point where
I'm... sleeping on my former archenemy's

couch.

I mean, let's be honest. When I worked
at Sir, I kind of ran.

And now I'm at a place where I am
willing to suck up my pride in ways that

have never done before.

I've always been really close to
Schwartz.

I feel like he reacts to Stassi the same
way all guys react to Stassi. They love

her one minute, hate her the next.

I feel like we had a friendship on our
own.

Like, I could be around Tim so easily,
and I've always loved S .W .O .R .D.

You can keep them coming.

We had a good friendship, me and Stassi.
You know, when we were all friends and

hanging out on a regular basis, there
was so much good stuff there, you know?

But the last impression I have of Stassi
in my mind is her just being smug.

She really hurt Katie.

Yeah.

Because it's been a little more than a
year since I've seen you it's been a or

even heard from you Yeah Thank you. Yeah
No, I really appreciate

it. Thank you, because I know you don't
really want to be here right now I've

been drinking all day long because I've
been like about to shoot myself with

nerves. Yeah All right, so this is the
sort of way I'm seeing it right now so

you Stassi you were always a pain in the
ass and a bitch, and you were

venomous, and, you know, all that stuff.

But you were also endearing, and you did
it in a likable way.

However, over the course of the past
year, that endearing buffer, it sort of

faded away, and I feel like what was
left was just, like, a smug, bitchy

of your former self.

When you severed ties with Katie, it was
so cold and so rigid, and you were just

so ruthlessly dismissive.

That it was like, I mean, it was just
disgusting.

And she was so hurt by that. Like, you
don't understand how much she cared for

you. She really cared for you, you know?

And she left the door open for a long
time. And I feel like you're kind of

crawling back right now. And you're kind
of peeking in.

And you're wondering what's going on.
You're like, hey, guys.

Remember me?

Stassi. Just seeing what you guys are up
to. My life's kind of going to shit.

You need some humility and some
perspective in your life.

Like, your ego got over -inflated. Even
if you weren't aware of it, it did. You

were a bitch.

Did I, like, kill your dog?

Hey, don't get defensive.

If you try to rationalize too much and
get defensive, I'm going to leave.

I am the type of person that, in order
to protect myself, if you hurt me, I cut

you out. I've done that with everybody
in my life. With shocking ease.

Yes, and that is the fault of mine.

Yes. Okay. And I am now realizing this,
and I have been thinking about it.

Just so you know, Katie's not responding
to you. It's not like a calculated

thing. She's not like, no, her, man.

She's not like that.

It's not like that.

It's even worse.

It's like, it's an indifference, which
is like worst case scenario.

Don't cry.

I didn't just...

cut her off for no reason. I didn't know
what else to do. That's how I deal with

things. I didn't know what else to do.

Why does everybody else get forgiven?

Why does everybody else get forgiven for
things? I don't understand.

They have redeeming qualities.

Oh, I don't have any redeeming
qualities? You disappeared for a year

all to fuck off.

What do you want here?

I just want to be her friend.

I just want to be able to call her.

I want to be able to...

Sit on the couch and do nothing.

That's like the best part of friendships
and relationships, yes?

And what did you throw that away for?

I actually didn't value history.

And that has been something that's
actually been crossing my mind like

one forced me to do anything.

Can I get a witness?

No. I need a witness right now. I don't
like it. She's being humble.

We need a witness. It's really annoying.

I'm not going to try to undermine
everything that just happened. We had a

conversation. I don't hate you.

Our engagement party's coming up, and I
would love for you to come.

When is that?

In like three weeks. I'm hoping to
actually talk to her at some point

then. Oh, yeah, you're dreaming. That's
not going to happen.

Okay, okay.

I just really hope that having you speak
to me, like...

That you believe me and that you think
I'm being sincere. I'm trying over here.

Next time on Vanderpump Rules.

I invited her to the engagement party.

No, you didn't. No, no, no, Tom.

If I can get like the people that have
been hating me to actually believe me,

then I feel like I'm one step closer to.

Katie, this is going to suck.

Cheers. Cheers.

You can't commit to doing the tongue
reaction. You went out just like big

wussy pussy.

That was a pussy ass move.

I have bet everything on this guy.

Get a job.

Stop acting like you're the number one
guy in this group, man. I'm the number

one guy in this group. Are you kidding
me, Jax? Your ego is just going to try

and rank on me.

Stop, man.

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