All language subtitles for Vanderpump Rules – S4E05

You're watching Bravo on demand

Previously on the Vanderpump Rules,
playtime's over.

I'm back on the job at Sir and it's time
to crush it up. We're doing the best

that we can.

Well, the best isn't good enough.

Schwartz did used to work in wine and
spirit. Yeah, that's where my background

is in. Don't screw any of us around.

Everyone looks at us as the perfect
happy couple, but there are, like,

Do you feel like you are addicted to
pills?

Mm -hmm. Do not sweep. I'm not going to.
Pull up that rug and clean up in

cobweb. Why did you get so hammered? I
don't know, Kristen, because the shots

kept coming.

And now how do you feel about that?

To be honest, I've got a little bit of a
hangover.

You're much stuck there as a DJ than a
buster.

Lala's like that pretty hot girl that
wants to be a slut, but won't admit

a slut, but really, she's a huge slut.

When I say Lala's slutty, what I'm
really saying is, please come sit on my

Usually I meet a girl within 10 minutes,
she's my girlfriend.

You and I would definitely quit that.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Some of these are dirty and need to be
replaced.

Would you like me to do that?

Yeah. Okay, that one's fine.

Everything okay with you and Shay?

I'm just trying to live a happy, healthy
life.

I feel like Shay's at this point right
now where he really needs to start

turning things around. So we're going to
go to the gym five times a week. We're

going to eat better.

And I don't want to lose any weight, but
maybe for him it's like, and lose 10

pounds. But the thing is, I'm really
good at cooking, but I'm really good at

cooking bad food, like pasta and Mexican
food.

So Tom's going to come over and teach us
how to make healthy breakfast. Hey,

Tom's carnival. Yeah.

Well, you have fun with that. Oh, thank
you. I'm sure I'm going to enjoy an egg

white whatever.

It's very nice that Tom's going to go
over there and cook a healthy breakfast,

but addiction is not...

cured by some scrambled egg whites.

I will. Off you go, then.

Do you want to be?

Jack?

Yeah? Where are you going with that?

What is that?

A case of wine.

Where are you taking it?

To the bar.

Jack's has stolen a lot of things, let's
be honest. He's stolen candles from me,

I know there's vodka in his apartment,
and he's basically stolen his best

friend's girlfriend.

Oh, that goes in that bar over there.

What was going on with Gina?

I'll tell you why. Is everything all
right?

Clearly, we have seen that there are
problems.

It's not coming from the alcohol and
pills. He's obviously running away from

something else because he has no voice.

Listen, you're not a therapist.

I'm pretty good at advice. I just don't
take it. You give advice?

I give great advice.

You can't get your own shit together,
let alone somebody else's.

Where's Brittany?

I would like to be exclusive.

You're not going to meet another girl,
you promise?

I promise.

I love her.

She's back in Kentucky.

But I thought this was it. This was the
one. Well, if she moves out here... I

don't do long -distance relationships.

If you live in the Valley, that's a long
-distance relationship to me.

Why are you being so negative about
Shino and Shay? Should we support him? I

have milk that has no longer shelf life
in that marriage.

That is so mean.

I just feel like Shay's trying to live
up to this person that Shino wants him

be so much that he's just driving
himself crazy.

It's almost like it's his mother, not
his wife.

She needs to let him have some say in
things. He has no balls.

Well, would you have balls?

Absolutely.

Why do you think he's doing that?
Because he's miserable. No, he's not. He

miserable. Are you kidding me? She is
the best thing that ever happened to

He's been doing this a lot longer than
since he's been with her. I'm the only

one that has any eye on this whole
situation.

She needs to hear the truth.

Keep your nose out of it. Your new nose
out of it.

Lemon juice.

I feel like shit today.

Is that too much?

I don't think it's that I drank too
much. I think it's the mixture of

everything. How do you feel? I was
mixing everything.

Whiskey, you name it. Yeah, you were
out.

I dropped your drink and it shattered
everywhere. Do you remember that?

I dropped my drink. I can't hang out
with you. You're a bad influence.

Sometimes. Yeah.

It was a good make -out, though.

It was.

I've been feeling this flirty sexual
tension between me and Lala from the day

saw her.

I don't feel bad at all. I feel really
good about making out with her. I mean,

she's hot.

So let's talk about this then.

What? You just broke up with Kristen,
like yesterday.

Yeah, I am completely broken up with
Kristen.

We just haven't broken up yet.

Well, I know that she can get a little
bit crazy and scrappy, and I can get

scrappy too, but I prefer not to. I've
never met Kristen, but I've heard about

Kristen a lot.

You're going to come looking for me,
what?

Last night, James told me that they're
broken up. There's no two -week, two

-month rule after a breakup.

You can break up five minutes before our
date. He's officially single.

Let's get it poppin'. I had fun last
night, you know? Do you want to go to

dinner tomorrow night?

Yes. You're free? Yeah. All right, cool.

Got some reservations on the book.
Everything good over here, you two?

Life's better?

Excellent. Thank you. Thank you.

Hi.

Hi. Hi. Hi.

You know James, right? Yeah. Will you do
me a favor and just let him know that

Kristen's here?

Yeah. That I'm going to be out back.
Yeah.

Okay, awesome. Thank you so much.

What's up, beautiful?

Kristen is outside right now. Shut up.

No, my heart is pounding right now.

This is the part of the horror movie
where the girl with lashes and high

is trying to get away, and then the
crazy person slashes her throat.

Are you kidding me?

I swear to God. Are you kidding me?

She's, like, literally waiting for you
out back.

Peter.

Hey, man. Sorry, I know I'm DJing in the
lounge right now, and I just got to go.

There's something out in the back really
quickly. Is that okay?

I mean, you can... I know.

Sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Don't leave me hanging with the music.

I won't. I won't.

Hello. Hi.

Did you ask if you could step outside?

Yeah, I'm all right. Okay, cool.

So... So I don't trust you. I think you
f***ed someone.

Okay. Well,

I didn't. Kristen went to Detroit a
couple days ago to do this f***ing

shoot. I went to Detroit on a modeling
shoot.

She ends up going out drinking two
nights in a row till five in the

went out with some friends and my phone
died for like a span of time.

Does not f***ing call me, does not text
me, does not pick up her phone. I

suddenly get all these psycho -ass text
messages.

For all I know, she's just... This guy
nonstop after the shoot.

Typical James Jekyll and Hyde situation.

No, because Tristan, you know what? I'm
actually not going to raise my voice.

No, you're not going to raise your
voice. I'm not going to call you names

either, even though I probably should.

I don't want to be with you. I don't
want to be with you anymore.

Then we're good. Good.

You disrespect me.

Someone else. No, I didn't. Yes, you
did.

How is it that you go out all the time
and your phone mysteriously turns off?

James, every time I'm out of town...
Every...

Every f***ing time.

Don't raise your voice at me.

Every f***ing time you go somewhere,
Kristen.

Over the span of a year and a half,
yeah, my phone's been dead a couple of

times. It's been turned off.

If I wanted to cheat on James, I could
leave my phone on.

You're a liar. You were getting it in
that night and you were f***ing that

f***ing ugly, ugly -ass mother f***er,
okay? See this? You're never going to

have it. Ever.

Again, you might find yourself a nice,
good -looking 35 -year -old, maybe

another Jax 2 .0, but, honey, you ain't
going to have this young, good -looking

thing ever again. If you want to see
what I'm doing, that's going to be you

stalking me, like you have done to all
your ex -other boyfriends, right?

Hi. Hi. How's it going?

I'm a little, like, kind of flustered.

Why?

I've never met this Kristen before, and
she literally just came up to me and was

like, I need to talk to James. Where's
James?

So she's here.

She's here.

She's back.

Why is this your problem?

Well, because James and I had a few
drinks last night.

Like, all we did was, you know, like,
make out, like we're in junior high.

What? There's a difference between girls
that get crazy and crazy girls.

You know what?

There's crazies right here. She's right
there. Really?

The definition of crazy is Krista Doty.
She never says I'm crazy.

The crazy ones are always thinking that
everything's okay.

We're grown -ass men, and I'm afraid of
her.

Okay? I have anxiety. She's my aunt. I
mean, she's my aunt.

She 100 % knows where you live.

Yeah. She knows where your family is.
She knows where your kids are.

Yeah. Damn.

Coming up.

You are f***ing up your life. You're
f***ing sick in the head, Kristen.

You gonna try to get it in with Lala? I
don't want to date Lala. I just want to

sleep with her.

I treated you like gold.

I'm so good to you.

What, you bought me lunch all the time?
Bought me some nice clothes?

Is that what you're talking about?

You have played me for too long and I'm
done.

Sorry, babe. Done. And you know how
upset I am? Guess how upset I am.

I'm not upset at all, and I won't miss
you.

Okay. You know, I guess you could say me
and Kristen were doomed from the start.

You know, she was never really ready to
get into an emotional love relationship,

and I was never really able to let her
nasty past go.

You're sick in the head, Kristen.

You've got problems, and you are not
going to find a guy because you don't

what love is, okay? No, I am.

Shut up from your last...

You are a joke. I'm sorry.

Darling, you're a joke. I actually am
sorry, and I think that my past

has affected you so much, and I feel
like shit about that.

You're so rude to me. You try to hurt
me. Yeah, you're right. And I've worked

fucking hard on myself. No, you haven't.
You're the same fucking person you were

a year ago, honey.

My one thing...

Day one of James and I dating is that I
would always be honest about my past,

about my reputation.

And all James is doing is throwing that
in my face.

I care about you. I think you are
gorgeous and talented. And I think that

throwing it all away. And it breaks my
heart. Throwing what away? This

relationship? Your life, James. I'm
throwing away my life?

You've been on the path of self
-destruction. You are f***ing up your

No, I'm not.

The hardest worker here. I went from
busboy washing dishes to now fully

The only person f***ing up my life is
Kristen.

She's the one walking into the pump when
I'm DJing drunk. She's the one that

shows up randomly behind sir to talk to
me while I'm trying to work. Clearly,

she's the one f***ing my s*** up.

Let's be real. Who's f***ing up their
life? I'm done.

Like, stop.

Kristen, I'm upset because you keep
saying I'm f***ing up my life. My life

put together. And quite frankly, I'm
happier that I'm now not with you.

Kristen Doty is over, okay?

Have a good life. Okay.

I've got a date tomorrow.

It's going to be a lot funner than I've
had any time with you, darling, all

right? Have a nice life, Kristen Doty.

I love him so much. He's my best friend.

He gave him everything, but I don't
think he really appreciated me at all.

All right, let's go.

That's a lot of coffee.

We have a long day.

Oh, yeah.

I had asked Tom if he would come over
and make us dinner one night because I

want to get better with, like, cooking,
like, semen and steak and stuff for

dinner.

Somehow he had a better idea to come
over and make us omelets in the morning.

But I like cooking, and I want to learn
how to cook better, healthier foods

because, I mean, at this age, we should
not be this out of shape.

It's open.

It's always open.

I know

he's

going through some things right now, and
I just want to be able to help him. I

brought a lot of really good stuff here.
I want to be his, like, Rockies

trainer. I want to see him victorious on
a mountaintop. I want to show you guys.

Some tips and tricks, you know, start
off with breakfast, and maybe we can

on some other stuff too.

Tom is secretly a little bit of a
homemaker. As long as I've been with

just been cooking up the storm.

We went to bed last night, and I kind of
like fell asleep, then I woke back up,

and I ate three Otter Pops.

Sugar is the devil.

Yeah.

It's just so good.

Come on, come on.

Yeah.

I used to do this for a living.

Make omelets? That was basically like an
on -site catering service.

I'm serious.

I was an omelet and scramble making
machine back in the day.

Should I go for it? Do it.

There was a time there in the mid -2000s
where if you were a highly paid, super

hot actress, you probably ate my egg.

Oh, dang it.

All right, so what I've prepared for you
is a mostly egg white omelet with

organic mushrooms, spinach, organic
broccoli, and then this is fresh celery,

kale, broccoli, lemon, ginger, and
apple.

All juice. I don't like anything green,
yo.

What do you guys think?

You got more cheese than I did.

Hey. Dude, I feel like something, you
know, I hate to make you do that.

Maybe like something muddled, like a
mojito. I figured as much. Maybe a

raspberry mojito.

What's going on, dude? Just chilling.

I got the day off. Day off? You don't
have a job.

I don't know. Oh. Oh, it's right.

Oh. See, in a day, aren't you supposed
to be, like, practicing your, like,

sangria pitch?

Watch this.

I have a sangria.

Got it. I am informing everybody we've
got a sommelier coming tomorrow.

I promised Peter. You know Peter.

I promised him that I'd go with him to
get his hair cut. He's a big deal. He's

cutting his long hair. Are you kidding
me? That's more important than this?

He's cutting his ponytail off. Why now?
Is he chopping that thing off? I don't

know. I think he's kissing his new
girlfriend.

Peter and I have something to tell you
guys. Oh, my God. You guys are getting

married. Hi -ya.

Hi -ya. Whoa.

By the way, real quick.

Don't we have a new fraternization rule
in place?

What are you talking about? You know,
employee fraternization.

I don't think Jax is actually
understanding what the word

fraternization. Oh, you were
implementing fraternization rules? Well,

like there's one in place already. It
seems like somebody's a little kind of

bitter. I'm not bitter.

Oh, I see.

I'm not bitter. This is coming from the
number one perpetrator of every...

Exactly. Are you going to sabotage Lana
and James?

He's going to think his own shit. I
don't have to do anything.

This is actually one of those rare times
where Jack isn't causing this. He's

only stirring it from the sideline.

You've been eyeing up Lala, and suddenly
the little 100 -pound pit squeaker's

come in and stolen your thunder. He's
definitely getting in my way a little

I'm not going to lie.

Jack used to be the cock of the walk
around here, and now it's James who's

getting all the attention.

Oh, I see. Some of his feathers are a
little bit ruffled.

Go see what you're supposed to do.

Talk to you later. I'll get on this
thing real soon.

I will.

I mean, I know you love Brittany, but
are you going to try to get it in with

Lala? I don't want to date Lala. I just
want to sleep with her.

Coming up. I really don't think he's
going to fuck up again. I think he's

to do everything in his power to make me
the happiest woman alive.

This is interesting.

Open your eyes, Kristen.

I'm so puffy.

You're not puffy.

I love that you brought me to a dive bar
in the middle of the day.

There's a guy drinking whiskey over at
the bar.

It's like noon.

We're with our people.

Rachel is my girl power friend. So when
there's going down in my life, she's the

girl I want to sit down and have a drink
with.

I need to eat something legit.

I haven't eaten since we had lunch
yesterday.

Seriously? Hi.

Hi. How are you guys doing? Good, how
are you? Good, and here's a drink menu.

We'll do a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc,
please. Sure. Thank you.

What time is it?

I've left somewhere.

Damn. James, he's an ego, and he's rude,
and he's not the person that I started

a year and a half ago.

Thank you. You're welcome.

I feel like he wants to be Jax.

Like, Jax can be friends with everyone.
He's like a womanizer. He doesn't care

about anything. He can get drunk when
people still like him. But James is

about it in this way that, like, you
just look like a douche. When I first

started dating James, his confidence was
so attractive.

And now it's ego.

It's been growing and growing, like,
nonstop.

Like, I can't, like, calm off.

down. James has been telling me about
this girl for the last few weeks that

works at Sir, this new chick named Lala.

Lala? So James is like, yeah, there's
this new chick there.

He's like, she's a total whore.

She says to him like, oh, I dress extra
slutty today.

And last night he was like, oh, sweetie,
I already have a date tomorrow.

Totally thought he was just saying that
to piss me off. He said that? Which

means he asked that girl on date before
we broke up.

And then after I walked away, he went
inside, and then I saw Jack outside.

So I say to Jack, I was like, oh, I was
like, I bet he's going to swallow.

Like, I'm not stupid. And Jack goes, oh,
no, they just made out. And I was like,

whoa, whoa, what the f*** did you just
say? I'm, like, sad to f***ing live it.

I walked outside to catch a breather,
and Kristen was out there crying.

So I'm like, well, all you did was make
out with her. It's not that big of a

deal, right?

Are you f***ing kidding me, Jack?

She goes like this.

No, I didn't know that.

I thought she knew. I was trying to make
Kristen feel better. All I did was kiss

her. She was like, you know, crying and
I was by myself.

So what do I do?

So that happened. And yeah, I was super
sad last night. I woke up super sad,

barely slept, threw up all day, went to
therapy, started feeling a little bit

better and then just started thinking
about it. And I'm like, what is it that

I'm missing?

Because what I'm missing doesn't exist
anymore.

I'm good. How you been? I'm good.

Awesome. Awesome.

These are my friends, Tom. Hey, Tom.

I'm Jack. How you doing? I'm Jack. Nice
to meet you. Nice to meet you. You're

getting the hair, man. Thank you. I like
it. As of 2010, I've had this.

Let's get to work, anyway.

Let's do this.

Let's get to work, baby. This ponytail.

It's been awesome. It's served me pretty
well.

I take about three to four inches off.
How much is that?

Maybe a little bit more than that.
Really? Oh!

There you go.

I want to get rid of it.

Are you donating your hair? Are you
going to donate it? I would like to. You

need eight inches. You need eight inches
to donate.

Is that eight inches?

Come here, Jack. Let's check.

All right, fine.

Oh, dear.

Oh, boy. Here we go.

I'm at a point where I'm maturing.

No, I'm good. Let's do it. Let's do it
before I change my mind. I just want to

look a little bit more professional now.

So it's time.

I'm ready.

Okay, you ready? I'm ready.

And she's

done.

Oh,

okay. I'm good, guys.

When I started working it through, your
hair was like that.

Okay, I got a question for you. What the
hell happened the other night?

When James came up to me and he was
DJing and he had to go outside.

Dude, they've broken up, like, they
break up really messy every single time.

far as I know, James cheated on Kristen.

I mean, he hooked up with Lala while he
was dating Kristen.

So, I mean, for once, I'm not in
trouble. So, it's interesting.

Sheena, Katie, and myself are going to
have drinks, and we invited Kristen

along. I thought you guys were getting
drinks.

with James and Lala or something. We
are.

There's a large part of me that doesn't
feel like Jax will ever have an adult

relationship because he just loves to
f***ing stir up conflict.

I talked to Katie and Sheena about it. I
think Sheena and Katie also want to

just kind of see how she's doing.

The reason why me and Ariana's
relationship is strong is because we

ourselves.

from that conflict that Jax is so
addicted to. No matter how crazy she is,

deep down inside still have a soft spot
for the person. I do. I just feel like

Jax needs to grow up.

She has no self -awareness or self
-control.

It's going to create distance.

This has nothing to do with you and
Ariana. This is more about Lala and

Katie and Sheena do have some choice
words for Lala.

That being said, you guys are bringing
in Kristen.

Oh, honestly, honestly, I think throwing
Lala in there is like bringing a

catfish into a shark pen. Okay, but mind
you, we're not coming into an enclosed

room. It's a club. If they want to get
up and walk away, they're more than

welcome to.

If Kristen's around, there's probably
going to be some yelling and fighting.

You know, you could still die from
nuclear fallout. Yeah, that's true. I

Even if the bomb doesn't go off right in
front of you. So, no, I don't want to

be there.

My mom used to say, it's like, I don't
give a shit. I don't take shit because

I'm not in the business. Well, I'm not
in the Kristen business anymore either.

Well, have fun.

What do you guys think?

I think you look great. Great, man.

Look at this.

Look at this.

I think you look damn good.

I like it, man. He's doing a good job.

Oh,

it's so cute.

Yo. Oh, hey.

Hi. Hi. How are you? Good.

We were waiting for you. You guys look
all pretty.

So do you. I thought you were getting a
pedicure.

I am.

Why are you wearing tennis shoes?
Because I didn't want to show my toes

Duh.

So what do you guys want to get today?

Pedicure? Pedicure. I'm getting a gel
manicure. Okay.

Pretty.

Doty blew my phone up last night.

Yeah, Kristen texts me just like, oh,
like, that bitch Lala, whatever.

Yeah, because it's Lala's fault. That
bitch better not cross me. Does she even

know? Of course she knows. But, hey, did
James tell her that how many times...

I don't think she knows that they do
this. Like, I'm not trying to, like,

totally stick up for Kristen here, but
that's not someone I want to be friends

with. Like, Lala, this is why we're not
welcoming you into our group, because

you're that type of girl who does go
after other women's boyfriends.

That's not cool with us.

So, Sheena, you and Shay started talking
about, like, what you're going to do

next. I kind of wanted to just, I mean,
I felt like...

Just like liberated and so happy and
like this huge weight was like lifted

my shoulders I'm like, let's just have a
happy day. Let's pretend like the last

week didn't happen and let's just like
go back to us the day we got back from

our honeymoon.

My concern with Sheena is that she
doesn't always like to deal with things

on. These are some pretty major issues
that are going on in their relationship

that really need to be addressed, and
they take time.

I love you and Jay, but I do think these
issues are serious. Oh, absolutely. I

mean, I think he knows how serious this
is and how close he's been not once but

now twice to losing me.

I literally said to him, if you ever
take one more pill for the rest of your

life, I don't care if every bone in your
body is broken, I will file for

divorce. So it's pills or marriage.

You don't get both.

I really don't think he's going to hook
up again. I think he's going to do

everything in his power to make me the
happiest woman alive.

It never happened. I worry that that
will become a pattern and they won't

address these things that got them to
the place that they're in right now. No,

know you need to be the happiest people.
Exactly.

Coming up. Jack told Kristen about us
already.

She's the type of bitch that's going to
like show up at my door and like pick my

lock.

You have any food?

No. I have it. But I'd love to eat a
good burger.

Thanks, mate.

There we go.

You're welcome, darling.

I'm starving.

Yeah, me too. I haven't eaten anything
all day. No? Me too.

I've had water.

I'm on that model diet. Is that why you
brought me here? To put an app on, girl?

Maybe a little bit, maybe a little bit.
Hi, guys. How are you? Hi, darling. How

are you? Welcome to Cassell's
Hamburgers. Oh, thank you.

Here you guys go. It's our bar menu for
you. And you guys are just in time for

happy hour, too.

Oh, I like that. That St. Ant's looks
all right. All right.

And how about you?

I would love a vodka soda, please.

Yeah. Happy hour with you, okay? Cheers.

Glad you said yes to coming out with me.

I was kind of nervous when I was asking
you out, to be honest.

I was nervous, like, all day today.

Really? I can't even remember the last
time I've been, like, on a date with

somebody. You're a beautiful, beautiful
woman. Like, I'm very surprised.

You've got to stop that.

You're making me blush.

You're, like, completely different from
any dude that I've ever been with in my

whole life.

Really? Yeah. If you were to take every
guy I've ever been with and then James,

he's on the completely other end of the
spectrum.

I usually go in on some steak, but I
mean, I'm liking the string beans.

I'm mostly DJing now, which is great.

Yeah, I'm proud of you.

You're going to come over. Let's make a
track together.

I want to. Yeah?

Yeah. Well, cheers to that.

Cheers to making music and babies. Cool.

That's a joke, James. Don't get too
hyped.

Cute. All I'm thinking about is la, la,
la, la.

So let's talk about this real quick.

You and this girl.

Yeah, it's Kristen.

It's officially over, Lala. You know
what I mean? I wouldn't be out with you

right now if it wasn't. I'm not trying
to, you know, go behind Kristen's back.

said I'd straight up, you know.

I heard old Jacksy boy couldn't keep his
mouth shut, so he obviously told

Kristen about us already.

Is she the type of bitch that's going
to, like, show up at my door and, like,

pick my lock?

No, no, no.

But she might confront you.

And you're ready for that, babe.

If Kristen tried to step to me, she has
another thing coming she messes with.

with these little softies.

If she tried to step to me, there would
be a very large problem for her.

Can we stop talking about Kristen now,
please? No, we're good.

Thank you. Can I talk about you now?

Hey! Hi!

You guys already getting lit on this?
Yeah. Are you drinking today? I'm

in the back.

Back of the class, KK?

I do feel like we're in class. Wait,
right?

This is the best class.

Oh, my God. Did you do your homework?

I know nothing about wine.

Hello. Hi. Hello.

So this is Laz.

Hi, Laz. Hi. How's everybody?

He works with Pandora and Jason, and he
is a sommelier, so he very kindly

decided to come here today because I
begged him and educate you.

A sommelier is a wine expert. A great
meal is complimented.

by a right choice of wine.

I don't want these kids to go out with a
steak and try and serve somebody a Diet

Coke.

We need to understand that thoroughly.

Looking at food and wine pairing,
especially in an establishment like

there are no hard and fast rules.

You know, what are the dominant
characteristics of the food that they're

or that you're suggesting? Today, I know
we're going to try some different

foods. Casey, what would you suggest
with the lobster quinoa salad?

Champagne or chardonnay. I don't want
that choice, actually.

The food is absolutely fantastic at
the... Can I go like this and open it?

we don't want anything between your
legs. I need to make sure the service is

equal to the food. Short one.

Little bit. Mm -hmm.

Long one.

I think she just opened a few bottles,
Lisa. It's about the diner's experience,

and that's really important to me. Well,
thanks for giving me your time, and

thank you, lad.

No, thank you. Thank you, everyone. For
being here. All righty, you can take the

food with you. Thank you, Lisa.

Katie's food is waiting for you. No,
leave the drink on the table. You can

the food. Go on. Thank you.

Katie, do you want to grab the bowl?

Thank you.

That's the first time you've heard that.

Yes. Probably the first time I've been
at Sir and their free goat cheese balls

in front of me and I haven't eaten one.
Don't you just love that?

So how was the healthy eating
experience?

Yeah. I don't want egg whites. I want
eggs and bacon. But I mean, we're

like, Shay and I have been going to the
gym together and we're just starting to

kind of figure.

How's it going with him?

It's better. It's definitely better.

It's not 100 % yet.

A lot of things we still need to work
on.

Where is he working? Well, he's not
working at all. Like, he's just trying

figure it all out.

Okay. I mean, we've kind of been working
more on our marriage right now and less

on the employment. You're working.

I can cover the bills just fine.

Yeah, sure, but resentment will build up
if you feel that he's not pulling his

weight. Trust me on that one.

Sheena went into this marriage thinking
she was marrying Shay, but she wasn't.

She was marrying Shay.

He was addicted to drugs. That's a very
different scenario.

I mean, I'm trying to support him, and
I'm just trying to be there for him. So

whatever he wants to do, I'm going to
support that. I know I don't have to

you to be supportive. I don't have to
tell you to be kind. I don't have to

you any of those things, because I know
who you are, and I know you're a good

girl, and I know you're going to be a
good wife.

However, I might have to tell you that
you can be tough on him and couple it

with love and kick his ass.

Trust me.

Yeah. Don't make excuses for him,
though.

My God.

You don't think in 33 years of marriage,
your memories would have wanted to run

for the hill?

Of course.

Yeah. Things get too much, you think, I
didn't sign up for this.

That's what marriage is.

I mean, it's not the easiest thing, but
you're trying.

Well, I'm just trying to find a deal on
that.

Coming up.

James has said so much about you. He's
like, she's a slut. She's a whore.

My God.

Get in the mood here a little bit.

I know, I need a drink for sure.

Whoa!

I feel like we should all get a shot.

I don't want a shot.

What? I don't like shots.

Hey!

Hi! Hey! How are you? How are you? Good.

You need a drink?

I need like 20 drinks.

Can I get a citron and soda with a cup
of lemon, please?

Yeah. My options tonight were stay at
home and watch TV with my husband or go

out and watch the Kristen show live.

That's what I want to do.

What's up, guys?

Hi. Hi.

You guys know Lala, right?

I know there's going to be endless
amounts of alcohol at our table, so

not really what Shay needs right now.

He's happy home on the couch with his
remote control.

It's not really hard to embarrass James.
He kind of does it on his

own. But it's just so much better
watching she embarrass him.

I didn't even think any of these people
liked Kristen.

Why is she here?

Something's wrong with this picture.

Are you gonna start sleeping with
Kristen again Jackson boy

You're no fun.

Someone ain't no fun anymore.

I'm always fun. I know, you're not being
fun right now.

I'm a woman, she's a woman, and I know
what it's like to love somebody.

I'll take you outside for a second.

She likes that idea, yeah. She likes
that idea a lot. James, James, come on.

Wait. So, happy Friday?

Yeah. You don't think she's in time? Oh
my God, James, no.

It's just funny how she moved in on him
that quick. She's not moving in on him.

She's not moving in on him. She doesn't
care.

She doesn't care, James.

James doesn't care.

James clearly is still emotionally
invested in Kristen.

You guys got a lighter?

I'm not being thrown in the middle of
this show.

The girls are in defense mode of view.
They're right off the bat attacking

attacking Lala. The reason they don't
like her is the way she presents

That's her problem.

Honest to God, when I saw her in the
gown.

And James, like, put his arm around me
and was like, have respect.

He doesn't, though. He has zero respect.

But I feel like I need to pull her aside
and let her know I didn't get shot.

She's a big girl. She'll be fine.

I just read baggage that I didn't need.

I thought I was sad about him. I really
wasn't. It was just, he was my rebound

from Sandoval.

I thought it was more than that.

But now I've kind of, like, stepped
outside the box, and I'm like, really?

You are a joke. He's a douche. Hi, guys.
I know.

Am I interrupting something? No, not at
all. You know what? You can take my

spot.

I'll see you guys in a minute.

I'm Lala.

Kristen, nice to meet you. Hey, nice to
meet you.

I know, I'm like, you're the one I
talked to sort of the other night,

Yeah. That's what I thought.

So I'm kind of just wanting to get a
little bit of, you know, girl -on -girl

clarification.

I heard.

that you hooked up with James when we
were still together when I was out of

town.

That's why I'm going to stalk you,
because he told me you guys had broken

Well, we were very much together.

Okay, so obviously somebody lied.

He cheated on me.

Yeah. What bugged me about it being you
is that James has said so much shit

about you. He's like, oh, there's a new
girl, it's her. He mentioned Faith, and

then he was like, oh, there's a girl
named Lala.

He's like, she's a slut, she's a whore.
He was like, yeah, she comes up to me

and she's like, hey, James, I look
slutty today. Or like, do you like how

I look tonight?

James was texting me long before Kristen
and he broke up.

So my theory is he didn't want to admit
that he had a crush on me, but to cover

his own ass, if Kristen did find out
that he was being overly friendly, you

know, just call Lala a whore and a slut
and it makes everything okay.

And he's like, oh, she's a slut, she's a
whore, whatever.

And I'm like, well, that's not cool.

No, I would agree with you. Hi, guys.

I'm going to sit in the middle over
here. Yeah, that's... I really don't

talk to you. No, I want to know what you
guys... I think we're both on the same

page right now. Yeah, right?

Why? What did she tell you now?

I'm actually very offended, so... Right.
I'm going to excuse myself. Wait, with

me? Yeah. I feel like I'm on another
wavelength. Are you fucking kidding me?

do you do that? No, I'm, like, offended.

Cheers, thank you.

Yeah, have a good one.

Are you fucking kidding me, Kristen?

This is what you do?

Oh, my fucking God, this is fucking
bullshit.

No, no, no.

We're not even going there right now.

I'm, like, really offended.

Kristen, what did you say? Don't worry
about what she said, because I know

exactly what she's talking about, and
the way you are making me sound to

I'm offended. I'm offended. What did I
say? I was being real. I do have your

back. You don't have my back.

What the f*** did she tell you, Lala?
This is bulls***. You're being a f***ing

basic b***h right now. Oh, what?

Because you listen to her. You listen to
her. Did you just say she's being

advanced? No, basic.

She listens to Kristen for five minutes
unless she goes against me. I know I'm

not a slut. I know I'm not a whore.

Because obviously, I'm not getting paid
to have sex, which would be dope.

But I know for damn sure that I'm not
basic.

You don't talk to women like that,
James. Why are you doing that? Why is

doing that? First of all, you don't...

I would never think that I would
actually be like rallying for Lala and

her side with this.

James is just wrong.

I don't even know what you're talking
about. This night has taken a turn in a

way I didn't think was possible.

How do you miss my ex -girlfriend? I
knew that was going to happen.

That was before I was seeing you. That
was before.

He's like yelling at her. I know.

That's what I told her.

There is no question that Kristen came
here to sabotage me and Lala. I honestly

just think Kristen's mad because Lala's
so much hotter than whatever piece she

was in in Michigan the other night.

I don't think God bless Kristen, you
know. When you get Kristen pointed in

right direction... Next

time on Vanderpump Rules... Gay pride!

Gay, you ready?

One successful party this year would be
a failure. I need two.

You're here to get wasted.

I smell trouble.

Down.

Back up. Oh, that's a good one. Push it,
Shay, push it. I feel like Shay just

needs a win.

What the hell is that?

Are you in the battle room in the
bedroom last night?

Seven hours of sex tonight. With who?

I said I would not be annoyed, but I
actually am. Bye.