Original subtitles

Tonight on Vanderpump Rules Secrets Revealed. Are you serious?

Lisa Vanderpump and her gang of misfits at Sir are bearing it all, revealing

everything you didn't see this season.

I saw Jax's dick. We've got intimate moments.

Awkward rejections. Would you like to go out for like a drink?

She's shady.

Newfangled health trend.

We're going to get injected.

Basically, it's like vitamins.

Ow! And all the laughter.

Raise your hand if your panties are wet.

Tears. Is it okay if I cry?

And arguments.

Everyone doesn't suck stockings out like you do, Katie. That until now.

She needs to back the fuck off. You haven't seen. Are you cheating on your

girlfriend? No, I didn't.

Yeah, you did. Now that's really good. It's Vanderpump Rules Secrets Reveal.

Jack, it seems like you oddly throw the L word around a lot for someone who's so

commitment -phobic. You say, I'm in love with Tiffany. I'm in love with Carmen.

Yeah.

Yeah, I probably do. Did you have Carmen's name tattooed on your arm as

Dotsie's? You put her name tattooed on your arm? No, I did.

Well, it got covered up.

Hey, Taka, come here real quick.

This is Jack. Hey, man. How you doing?

Good. How are you? So Kevin was supposed to cover up this tattoo right here.

All right.

Round two for me on the cover -up. So I have one here.

Now we're going for here.

I got you. I got you. No more girls' names anymore. Good.

Yeah, he said that last time. Yeah, I'm done.

So I covered up Stassi's name.

I got to get the old Stassi tattoo.

It's time to see it go. Yeah, I could guess that.

Go check it out.

It's gorgeous.

But when Tiffany saw the Carmen tattoo, she jumped out of bed and started

crying. So now I have to get it covered.

So what do you want to cover it with?

Probably like a flower again. I'm guessing it's the best bet, my best bet.

How long have you had that tattooed on there? A good month and a half.

Shut the front door. You've had that for a month? And you're already covering it

up. Yeah.

Have I learned a lesson about tattooing girls' names on my body?

No. Are you ready to do this? I mean, are you really ready to say goodbye to

Carmen? Yeah, I was ready to say goodbye to her when I met her.

What the? Why would you get her name tattooed on you then? Because it was a

Wednesday and I had nothing to do.

Dude, you're killing me.

I actually lost a bet with Carmen.

So she said, if you don't get the tattoo, you're buying me a pair of

Well, I kind of added up in my head and I'm saving myself about $700 getting

this tattoo.

So that's why I got the tattoo.

All right, let's fire away.

All right, so let's do the first line. Okay.

This one hurts more than normal.

I wonder if that's karma.

You're 35 years old.

Stop with the partying. Get focused. Get on track. Get your life together.

It's karma.

I'm so glad I don't have a tattoo.

Oh, wow. Hey, you should just leave the rest of it so it says men.

That's funny.

Jack's had Stassi on his left arm, Carmen on his right arm.

I mean, he's got two legs and his junk. I mean, he's kind of running out of room

here. Looking good, man.

For me, a tattoo means forever. But for Jack, I think it means more like this

week, maybe next week.

We'll see how the month goes.

That's really good.

That hurt.

God damn.

Okay, let's talk about Kristen's relationship with Tom this season.

Kristen, isn't the reality that you and Tom will always have a connection with

each other?

I mean, there's a path, so that's kind of how it is when you're with someone

any period of time. I had to learn how to let go and move on.

It's like our sixth month anniversary, babe.

I'm not good at anniversaries.

Okay. Why are you so awkward about it? I don't know.

I mean, it's not like after a month, I was like, oh, we've been dating for a

month now.

Well, we broke up. Tom and I broke up seven months ago.

Almost to the date. What's Teddy's date?

That's really strange.

What? I don't know, like, how you remember the day you and Tom broke up

than the day we started coming out.

I mean, I'm so f***ing done with it. It's annoying, like... It, like, it kind

bothers me. What? Like, why do you care?

It's bulls***.

You know, I've got to admit, it gets a little frustrating when I see Kristen

giving, you know, a little more...

time and energy into her ex -relationship rather than the

going right now. I just think you should completely delete him from your life.

Like, that's normally what people do.

What do you mean, completely delete? Like, as much as you can. Like, the

you guys have together and, like... I mean, there's photos of he and I on

Instagram together, but I'm not going to delete those.

I just want to move, like, you know, forward with our relationship, you know?

Like, I understand how it could be hard, but, like, it's been six months. Like,

it shouldn't be that hard, really, anymore.

Six months for six years? Like, I think that's fair.

I always told you I didn't. I always said... Trash, trash, trash, trash,

All right, go on. Ugh.

Well, can I at least look through the photos to make sure I'm not deleting

I don't want? It's not like it's a Tom folder.

Yeah. What is this?

And selfie.

Thank you.

It's, like, such a shame that there's so many photos of me and him because my

hair and my outfit were so on point.

Yeah. I'll still delete it.

Oh, that was my birthday.

That one, too.

I get how frustrating it is for James, but it is six years of my best friend in

the entire world who I spent every day with who knows me better than anyone and

vice versa.

It's not as simple as just... Just turn it off.

Oh, I look so hot that night. Yeah, you look really hot in that photo.

I don't want to delete every single photo that I have on my computer. No, I

that. Look at my abs and my boobs.

That was really hot then.

I think that was really unhappy. Oh, but you're still really hot.

Oh, it's a really good photo. Can I just crop him out of it?

There we go. Can I keep that one?

Sure. Okay.

Are you sure you want to permanently erase these items in the trash?

Kristen has now deleted all the photos from her computer.

It's just a matter of deleting the memories from her brain, from her heart,

her life.

Skeleton's gone.

Lisa, so you've got Serp, you've got Villablanca, you've got Pump.

Yes. Will you continue to expand the Vander Empire, or are you good with

three? No, I'm good with these three.

Well, it took a lot to get Pump up and running.

Hi, guys.

Hello.

Hello. Oh, good Lord.

Hi. How are you?

Great, how are you? Hi.

Okay, so what we're doing tonight is I'm going to... You are my guinea pigs.

Are you okay with that? Yeah. We always have a test dinner for a couple of days

before we actually open to the public to make sure that the kitchen and the

servers know exactly what they're doing.

We're just going to try out the menu and, you know, just run things through.

That's what we're doing. And so what better people to try it on than the

I love the most? Yeah. So the people sitting over there, you mean?

Yeah, exactly.

From what I know, based on friends of mine who have opened restaurants,

it is usually a giant show.

It's stressful.

Okay, so have fun, all right? Okay, thank you.

Remember, I want every single person that comes in here in the future, you

and remember their drink. Kill them with kindness.

Of course. All righty. Good.

Pistachio, crescent salmon, and brussels.

Can you talk to him? Yeah, sure.

Okay. Tuna's our turn. Ahi tuna. Thank you.

Is it printing out to the people in the kitchen?

I don't know. I haven't checked.

Hunger Games.

Well, I'm really hungry. There's no more butter.

I have butter.

Well, I love butter.

It's been like 45 minutes and we haven't even got our appetizers yet. This is

not a good start.

No, but that's why this is a soft opening.

Okay, I guess I'm compassionate to that, but I'm also really hungry.

Is this some kind of karmic punishment for all the bad service that one of us

may have given at one point or another to a customer that now we're sitting

foodless?

I was just told that the computer systems are down. I'm going to be

the orders. Just work with me, okay?

We've seen our server twice.

Everyone else... Honestly, okay, this is the thing. I hate knocking servers

because I...

understand what that's like. And I suck sometimes.

For real. I can be a lazy ass.

But this is kind of annoying.

The service sucks.

Are they making it? Listen, I love their butter.

How much butter are you trying to feed these people?

Guys, everything's a muddle in the kitchen. They can't find things.

It's like the machine's not working.

Well, this is a trial run for a pump, and I think... Pump has failed the trial

run, so maybe they need to come down to Sir and see how it's done.

I need a bite of this.

I'm hungry.

I want my filet. All this bread, like, can you put that to the side?

Whoa. Yay.

Whoa.

I think that deserves an ovation. Right here. There you go. That's beautiful.

Makes you feel weird.

Sorry, guys. The printer, we saw it wasn't working and everything was...

Ruined in the kitchen, but it wasn't plugged in.

I know it's a model. I get it. But that's why you're my little guinea pig.

you, Lisa.

I will say that this was worth the wait.

Coming up.

I'm trying to apologize to you, and you're coming at me with these...

it's not sincere, Jack.

What do you mean it's not sincere?

We're back with Lisa and the kids from Vanderpump Rules.

I'm just curious, did Peter and Vale ever hook up?

I heard they made out the night of our anniversary party. He said that.

I kind of hope so, because he struggled with the ladies this year.

Come in. Hello. Hey.

Hi.

Shoes, shoes. No, no.

Come on.

Look at my carpet. It's part of it. Peter leaves dirty dishes and crap all

the place, but he still asks us to take our shoes off.

My feet are not going to touch your disgusting carpet.

So we have a surprise for you. Oh, no. What do we got?

It has a P.

Happy birthday.

Thank you.

A gold glittery cake with...

Pale blue riding is the perfect cake for Peter. I need you to hold it up, and

I'm going to do this, okay?

This is what we do for Peter.

This is for me now.

Because that's the cake we wanted to eat.

Well, what's going on with you and your love life? Are you dating anyone?

At the moment, no.

You're smiling. You thought about that for a second.

I did kind of meet this girl, though.

What's her name?

I can't remember.

Are you?

I can't remember.

Wander Burnett.

Blonde. You met her and did you get her number? And did you just put blonde

girl?

Blonde model.

Blonde chick.

You spelled blonde wrong.

So how are you going to find out what her name is?

I'm going to be like, hey, so what's your name on Instagram?

So I can look you up. I think that you could call this girl.

What, right now?

I want to see you find out her name.

I want you to ask her out for next week.

Okay. Oh, Jesus.

Here we go.

Hello?

Hey,

how's it going?

This is Peter.

I'm all right. How you doing?

Looking at Peter, if you were to see Peter walk into a restaurant, you'd be

like, who's this strapping young fellow?

And then he starts talking about Star Trek.

I was wondering, like, what's your name on Instagram?

How do you spell your first name?

It's S -A -R -A -H.

Oh, no wonder it's not coming up. Peter is a friend. He's like Peter, and he's

goofy, and he's funny, and he laughs at his own jokes. But then when Peter is

trying to impress a girl, he becomes Peter Madrigal.

By the way, I was wondering what you're up to next week.

I have a fairly flexible schedule next week.

Would you like to go out for, I don't know, a drink or food?

When I see him turning on that charm and giving those stares, I just, I want to

laugh inside.

Well, I am currently seeing someone, but I mean, I'm always

looking for friends, but I am seeing someone right now.

Okay, cool. Well, great. It was nice talking to you.

Sorry. It's fine. No, don't, no, no worry.

No worry.

I'm good.

I'll talk to you later, Sarah.

Okay. Take care, Peter. You too. Bye.

All right. Bye.

First of all, what is gank? What girls need new guy friends that look like

Peter?

Really?

She's shady.

I know. Girls in L .A. are shady.

Schwartz, how much are you making these days for modeling?

I do okay. I work pretty consistently.

Is modeling harder than it looks?

God, I can't believe I'm going to even attempt to try to say modeling's hard.

But if you're like, I can't say that.

Dude, I had a good modeling job yesterday.

How was it? It was awesome. What was it for? It was good. It was for this

Italian company that suits and stuff and ties. It was nice.

Perfect.

Oh, that's very cool.

Looks good.

Did you do me proud?

When it comes to modeling, Tom Sandoval is pretty much my muse.

He's a legend in his own mirror.

It was a good gig, man. That's awesome. I mean, anybody can take a picture, but

it takes a lot of practice.

It takes a lot of studying.

It takes a lot of different characters.

I did bust out this one once. Did you really? What's it called again?

Sun in the Eyes?

No, this is Sun in the Eyes, Treasure in the Distance.

The best way to be a master is to look like your poses are not poses.

And they're more just camera stills. They're more caught in the moment.

It's like you're posing, but you're not posing.

Did you do the, they're like, I'm going to go this way, but hey, did you say

something? It's like this. You ready?

Ew. Hey, I got to go, but did you?

All right, I got to go, but did you say something?

He doesn't point. Yeah, I'm no Tom Sandoval.

I did a lot of this one. It's like, it's real commercial. It's like.

Yeah, that is your go -to.

Oh, no.

Did you do the folded arms, leaning forward, laughing?

I did.

Like this one, too.

Oh, God, dude, I can't. I'm cringing.

Dee Schwartz is doing pretty good. You know, he's at that intermediate level,

like that, you know, maybe sophomore year.

I think on our third look, she was picking him up to me, and she's like,

did you go to the Tom Sandoval School of Modeling? And I was like...

No way. Did she really say that? Yeah. She knew about you. No, she didn't say

that. You asked, dude. He believed you. Jesus. He was like, oh, she knew about

me.

Dude.

Jax, you were really outspoken about wanting to break up Katie and Schwartz.

Did you two ever try to talk things out?

Hey. Hi.

How are you?

I'm good.

Listen, I'm meaning to talk to you.

First of all, I just want to apologize for... for whatever it's worth.

I'm very sorry for spreading those rumors that Tom slept with a girl in

That was wrong. And I'm also sorry for being an ass to you for the last few

months. You're a cheater. You're a cheater. I'm not a cheater. You are the

cheater. You cheater.

Where's your leash? Is Stassi here? Shut the fuck up, Jack. I hate you.

That was uncalled for.

I don't expect you to be nice to me. I don't deserve you to be nice to me.

But for my own peace of mind and just because you deserve it, I just wanted to

apologize. I was angry. I guess it all stemmed from, like, since Stassi came

back.

You're... demeanor changed a little bit. How? You weren't around me. I haven't

hung out with you in, like, I don't know how long. I understand, but it's

just... No, no, that's a cop -out. It's not a cop -out. And I'm really tired of

hearing that. It's not a cop -out. It's 100 % a cop -out. Okay, well, I'm just

apologizing. I'm telling you why I did what I did. So why now?

Why are you apologizing now?

Because I wanted to let time pass.

I didn't think it was right, sincere for me to do it right after the fact. You

wanted to let time pass, or you went to San Diego and cheated on your

girlfriend. I didn't cheat on my girlfriend.

Yeah, you did.

No, I didn't.

I think so.

You didn't bring a girl in the bathroom?

I have the girl threw up in the bathroom, yeah.

And I'm supposed to believe that?

Jax went away for the weekend and cheated on his girlfriend.

And now he doesn't want that to get out, so he's got to clean it up. I just

think this is a very opportune time for you to come apologize.

What, you think I'm going to take this opportunity to go to last year like you

did with mine?

I told Tiffany everything that happened. She knows.

I would never do something like that to her. You would, though. No, I wouldn't.

You would. You were there.

I'm trying to apologize to you, and you're coming at me with... Because it's

sincere, Jack. It's not sincere. What do you mean it's not sincere?

I don't buy it. Like, I'm really over your... That's fine. And it's just

like, nauseating to hear this kind of stuff. Because it's just so classic to

Jack's behavior.

It's just sad.

First of all, these underwear are dry clean always.

Schwarz,

you were pre -med for a moment?

Well, I was taking the necessary steps.

To go to med school, and I did graduate, but I was never cut out to be a doctor,

let's be honest.

Yes, let's. You don't want a scalpel in my hand. I mean, Schwartz, you can't

even handle seeing me there.

All right, you guys ready?

Not really.

Okay, so we're here today for IVs. I'm taking these guys. We went out. We've

been kind of partying a little bit lately.

It's kind of like a little surprise for you guys. So basically it's like

vitamins we're going to get injected.

Dude. How do you feel about that? They're administered with needles?

Yeah, they are. I have like a real visceral fear of needles. Can you please

them that you've done it? Have you done it? Oh, I have before.

Oh, okay. Yeah, she can do it. You can do it. It's awesome.

It's great.

You know, in an acting class, they tell you that it's good to get out of your

comfort zone. But if I'm being totally honest, I think this might be a little

too far outside of my comfort zone.

So is Tom getting needled up right now, or just like a... I don't know,

actually. One, two, three.

Done. That's it.

Okay, cool.

Not too bad, right?

No. Schwartz is, like, deathly afraid of these needles right now.

I am not going to pass up this opportunity with Schwartz. No, no, no,

no, no. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Ah! Ow!

Ah! Ah!

They're going to freak out.

Dude, are you serious?

They're going to fake it.

Is that real?

Is he kidding?

No, no, no.

It's fine. It's fine. Can you put the cap on here?

Dude, you better be joking.

It's fine. No, no, no. It's fine. Okay.

Dude, does it hurt?

I can't.

Dude, I can't. It's really nice to be able to bully Schwartz every once in a

while. Get that fix in.

Why did you scream?

It just hurt, you know?

Needle, man. Did it really?

Yeah, a little bit.

He's an easy target.

Wait, I don't know if I can do this.

It's fine.

Yeah, thanks.

I'm getting like these visceral.

You know, Tom is terrified. I don't know if he's more terrified of getting a

needle stuck in his arm or marrying Katie.

It's really easy.

He's freaking out, man. Look at him. He's freaking out.

Tom's is turning into coffee and Red Bull.

So let's get the bag prepped for you. Oh, my God.

Serial.

Doc, be careful. That guy never went through puberty.

I don't think I'm going to cry.

Is it okay if I cry?

You're not going to pass that on to us, are you? I don't think so.

Okay.

Just relax.

God,

why is this so hard for me?

Just keep your arms straight for me.

Okay.

And I'm going to freeze it for you so you don't feel it. Okay.

He's panicking.

Dude, make sure there's no air bubbles in those tubes. You'll die.

Just a little poke.

Done. That's it.

That was not bad, right?

That's it?

That's it.

Jump in your arm, kid. Okay. Yeah, so just keep your arms straight.

Holy shit.

I can't believe how scared I got.

I know. It's like I was about to go skydiving.

You okay?

I think so.

Oh, damn it.

Sheena, has your life changed a lot since you've married Shay?

Um, other than my name, I don't think that much has changed. We already live

together. And, I mean, if anything, it's just happier and blissful.

Well, I hope Shay is a better husband than dance partner.

I just wanted to talk to you about a couple wedding things.

One thing I'm still kind of worried about is I want a really fun, nice first

dance. And Shay has no rhythm and the father -daughter dance. Like, my dad is

his 50s, this white guy who loves football.

Excuse me, I'm in my 50s, please. No, no, no, but I'm saying, like, for God's

sake, I was on Dancing with the Stars. It nearly killed me.

These are their dance moves.

Oh, what about Gleb?

Oh, my God, that'd be perfect.

Gleb and Lisa became really good friends after Dancing with the Stars.

Jay and I have met Gleb a few times at parties. He'll come into Villa Blanca.

Sir, he seems like the perfect person to teach me the perfect dance.

You might not get married after you dance with Gleb.

I felt like I was virtually impregnated when I was dancing on Dancing with the

Stars with him.

I'm not excited at all.

Hey. Hey.

What's up? How are you?

Good. Thanks for doing this.

All right, guys.

So why don't we just start with your dad problem?

Okay. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.

You're doing an amazing job.

Club is awesome.

He's really nice.

Not bad to look at.

Clearly a really good dancer.

Kind of just want to watch him perform.

Aw.

Yeah. Aw, sweet.

Oh, I like that.

That's cute.

Oh, man.

I got to twerk a little on my wedding day. I mean, obvi.

Zay, your turn.

Yeah.

Um, Schwartz, why do you think so many women still fall for Jax? Jax is a

in the art of telling people what they want to hear, including myself.

Right.

He's good at it. Does Jax tell you he loves you?

He has.

That's the deepest thought. I have my deepest love for Tom.

Aw. Stop.

Dude, those thumbs are burning, man.

Oh, my God. I totally looked at your phone earlier. I'm not going to lie.

What did it say?

What did it say? It was like...

New York girl, L .A. girl, Miami girl.

I mean, of course I've done a lot of sexting. Who hasn't? One big boob,

Don't you ever, like, send the wrong text to the wrong girl? All the time. I

mean, there's been times where I've been sexting multiple people at a time.

Sure, why not?

This is the one time when we all lived together.

He was hooking up with a chick named, I think it was Maria. My mom's name's

Maria. He sent a text to his mom saying, I want to f*** you.

I mean, I think the only appropriate response to sexting your mom is to just

light yourself on fire and just jump far off a building.

Just read it.

Oh, no.

That was the one that was up. It's like, I want your baby.

Oh, my God.

That's what I thought earlier.

That's what I poured my coffee to.

Listen, Kristen and Sheena are talking about the sex they saw on Jack's phone.

You don't want to know what I've seen in Jax's phone. I've seen things that I

can never unsee.

I've seen pictures.

If I'm not being clear enough, I saw Jax's dick.

Come see me, baby.

I want all of this. I want your babies. I need to see you, please. I want you to

tell me you want my babies.

Sexting is usually about, like, casual, consequence -free, like, hot sex.

The last thing you want to do is...

really be in touch with the fact that you could get pregnant every time you

sex. That is Jackson's line.

He's like, I want to have your baby. And the girls are like, smoothing,

smoothing. They should make an app for this.

Like Marcus, and he's like, yeah, we're done.

OK, there's something I've been wanting to ask you. Was the bachelorette party

as fun as it looked?

I was having fun with my life in Miami. I had a lot of fun. It was fun.

In Miami, everybody had a good time. Everybody got along, which was shocking.

Your things got very revealing one night.

All right, who is skinny dipping?

Let's do it.

We're at Sheena and Shay's bachelor party. We're in beautiful Miami at 2 in

morning. We're all about three sheets to the wind drunk.

Why not? Why not skinny dip?

First of all, these underwear are dry clean only.

I mean,

we're in Miami, and it is definitely a full moon.

I'm looking around, and I'm like, where are the girls?

On past trips, it's usually the girls that get naked and go skinny dipping.

This year, it's the guys.

I don't know what happened.

I do not skinny dip with guys.

And frankly, I wish the guys wouldn't be going skinny dipping in front of us

girls. Like, I don't need to see that.

Hey, ladies.

I hope you're enjoying the view. Thanks for nothing.

Coming up... Don't try and make me look stupid.

I say we get down to carving some dick.

Kristen, everybody gets a knife and we just carve. You really want to give me a

knife?

I'm suddenly regretting that knives play a big part in this game.

This is so good.

Man, I made my balls too small.

Some girls are more into carving balls.

Some are more into carving that head perfectly. And Kristen is just all about

shaving down that shaft.

Sheena, what did you even do?

Sheena by far has the worst place. I just made balls.

Sheena has to eat the penis.

Eat it!

Yeah!

Shay's a lucky man.

To Sheena and this amazing week that we've all had together.

Cheers!

We are back with the gang from

Vanderpump Rules.

Well, I have to ask, Katie, it seemed like you and Stassi used to do

together. Yeah. Yeah?

Absolutely.

Hi.

Hi. This is so cute.

Welcome to JD Law.

It's a fashion truck.

Oh, wow. There is a new modern miracle in terms of dresses.

Dresses in truck.

I'm talking about trucks that drive around.

They carry dresses and jewelry and handbags, and you can go shop there. I

love this place. I think it's such a great idea.

It's so cool.

And, like, I feel like you don't have it anywhere but L .A. Yeah. The dream

would be that it just drives right up to my doorstep any time I want it.

I mean, I'm going to the beach.

Pick out a bathing suit and a truck.

Ooh, this one is really sexy, too. It goes, like, over the boob.

Go to a cocktail party.

pick out a dress from the truck.

You have to tell me if this is up my butt, okay?

Okay.

Oh.

Okay, turn around.

No, not at all.

Actually, I love the sleeves. These are so cute. Oh, my gosh, you have to get

that. There's so many cute dresses, but most of all, so much great jewelry.

Why does shopping make me so happy?

Shopping brings me, like, the greatest pleasure.

Kind of.

Your total for the romper and the four rings is $146 .06. And just your

signature.

Thank you.

Lisa, how many more years can you see yourself running, sir?

Well, I don't know.

Ten more years.

Oh, lordy. I don't think I'll be alive by then.

Jax will be here.

I'll still be muddling Mojito's back.

Thank you. Yeah, of course.

Well, hello. How are you doing? Hi, Lisa Vanderpump. Todd Johnson.

Good to meet you.

Hi. That's what you do.

A friend of mine in the restaurant business has used Todd quite a few times

really good results.

I want to make sure that the whole service and all the staff aren't getting

caught up in their nonsense, kind of reminiscent of last year's Secret Diner.

So I just want you to kind of really, you know, test them, you know.

Just kind of put them through their paces a bit. I want him to go in and

reassure me that everything's okay.

So are you going to go in there for dinner tomorrow night?

Definitely. I'll be there. I'll pop in at some point. Sounds great. And then

after you finish, you can give me the heads up. I love doing this. Thank you

much. Thank you. Really nice to meet you. Yeah, it's good to meet you too.

It'd be interesting to see what Todd comes up with, because as the owner and

boss, you can never, ever experience what the regular customer does.

And that's really important.

Hi. How's it going?

Good, thanks.

What would you suggest I drink? We have a great sangria. Do you prefer red or

white? I'll take the red. So for Todd to go in and give me an accurate

description of what's gone down is something I really value.

Excuse me, I'm ready for a table.

Oh, do you have a reservation tonight? No, I don't. Okay, that's not a problem

at all. I've got a spot for you in the room here if you just want to follow me.

Okay, great. Thank you.

I'm used to being the judge and jury and kind of making the...

Final decisions on everything. I'm just going to get the crispy chicken.

Perfect. All right, thank you. And again, I'm Kristen, so can you. Awesome,

thank you. A little holler.

It's not really easy for me to kind of hand over the reins and listen to maybe

somebody else's criticism, but if it's good for the restaurant, I guess it's

something I've got to go through.

Where'd that come from? It's got a huge hair.

Hey, it's good, but I've ended up with this hair. I don't know. It's not mine.

So can we just redo it? Absolutely. That's not a problem.

My least favorite part about waiting tables is waiting tables. One

thing I do hate about serving are the customers who are the total drama

They just invent problems to get things for free. Hey, I think I just want to

order some dessert.

Do you want me to wrap it up to go? No, no, I'm good. What? Really?

I was like, I ate quite a bit of the other one before I realized what was

on. Cool.

Okay. The guys you do all this literally hate, I can't.

I've got, who's that?

A whole file?

Are you kidding me? Well, it's usually, I'm kind of an overachiever. This is

like a little extensive.

Do you have like my gynecologist results in here?

I've ordered them, but they haven't arrived.

Are you serious?

What could possibly be in this manuscript? Is it war and peace?

What you have in here is suggestions.

I usually have 250 to 350 suggestions.

And you're not going to do all of them, but all the descriptions of why you

should maybe make some changes are in there. This is overwhelming.

I cannot get through this. Do you know how much work I have to do? I cannot

possibly get through this.

It's like managers and stuff. But as far as dinner goes, I had the crispy

chicken. Now that's really good. The gravy had great flavor, but it was thin

it didn't have any color. The green beans were barely lash.

cooked of any type. Black potato.

I would suggest take red potatoes and maybe put them in quarters.

No, no, no, no. I don't want to hear la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la.

The only thing about the lounge, the chairs are not very comfortable.

Oh, the chairs are super comfortable. The little, the little, the little.

chairs are really comfortable. You just got to get down. Get down there, baby.

Because this is West Hollywood. But I just wouldn't have wanted to sit there

an extended period of time.

Okay, so I'm not going to listen to anything.

Really off, you know.

Let me go look at the chairs in his house, see if I like those.

Make sure that all your customers get a comment card. Can I give you a comment

card?

Swords, how much easier was your life when Katie and Sheena buried the

It really simplified things, and it was a beautiful moment for all of us. But

before that, there were definitely some issues.

Thanks for the pizza party.

What?

Hey, guys.

So did you guys have so much fun tonight?

I'm sorry, but the fact that, like, Jayden and Kristen were there, we were

what in the hell is going on over there?

What do you think Kristen is sitting with?

Why is she sitting there? Why can't they be like, your actions are kind of not

okay. You probably shouldn't be here.

Whatever.

How does my friendship with Kristen affect your life and Sophie's life? How

that affect you guys? Well, why was she there with you to begin with?

Because she sat down at the fucking table. She invited herself and sat down

the table.

Stassi is such a fucking bitch. Sorry, but she was.

Maybe you guys could all take notes from her. She's grown up.

Everyone doesn't.

That's Stassi's ass like you do, Katie.

I simply just don't give a shit about being friends with Stassi anymore. It's

always all about Stassi. Katie would take a bullet for that girl in a

and Stassi would be like, ew, I'm not getting blood on me for you.

You're the one oddly obsessed with her, not me.

I respect my best friend enough to not hurt her feelings.

You like to harbor grudges, bub. It's not about harboring grudges.

You were agreeing with us, though, earlier. No, bub, no, I wasn't. You were

agreeing with us earlier.

This is a reoccurring argument with Tom and I. I want him to have my back more,

and he just wants to be a big pussy and not have conflict with anyone anytime.

You don't make a big...

deal out of it. This is the guy that's supposed to be supporting and protecting

me and he's not doing either.

Sitting there with Chris wasn't an ideal situation that I wanted to be in.

But if that's her issue with me, then f*** her.

No, if that's her issue with me, then she needs to f***ing get over it. So

the f*** up. Big f***ing deal.

You f***ing ignored me for so long. Don't try and make me look stupid. You

f***ing get on my nerves all the f***ing time.

It's fine.

And you trying to be my friend is f***ing bullshit.

I'm not trying to be your friend. You have tried for some No, I used to let

do my hair because you're really good at it. I see through it. I see through all

the bullshit.

Okay.

What pisses me off about Sheena is that she keeps running her mouth. She needs

to learn to back the f*** off and stay the hell out of my business.

I'm sorry, but she f***ing pushed me and I tried to bite my tongue as long as I

could. But don't make fun of me.

You guys let Katie leave?

Go get your...

You can go, man. What are you doing here?

I swear to God, I did not know Katie left. I'm not playing stupid.

Yes, she left a long time ago. Uh -oh.

Coming up. If I could please have your attention, we're going to take you back

to the beginning.

We're back with Lisa and the staff from Sir.

The wedding itself was so beautiful. Thank you. You did such a great job.

Shay had a really good time. He was so sweet, so nice.

I think Sheena would agree with you.

All right,

everyone, if I could please have your attention.

Something amazing happened tonight.

The first one out of all of our group of friends got married.

Shay and Sheena.

Me and Shay and Shay's buddy, Ryan.

we're gonna perform the song that Shay wrote for Sheena, but the way the

went, it was just too chaotic.

So I'm like, let's do this in a more intimate environment.

We're gonna take you back to the beginning.

You catch me running crazy.

You call me baby.

Dude, I can't do this.

You can see the nerves that Shay has, and he's just trying to get through it,

and he's smiling, a little drunk.

Raise your hand if your panties are wet.

Shayna and Shay are definitely one of those couples that you just root for.

If you wonder why girls fall for guys who are musicians, this is it right

It's just the fact that he did this

for me means so much.

I love you so much.

Okay, we have shared a lot of secrets tonight.

Thanks, everybody. For more with Vanderpump Rules, go to BravoTV .com.

and have a drink.

Yes.