All language subtitles for Theodora Goes Wild 1936_Emglish CC [English] (SUBRIP)

(PHONE RINGING)

Hello!

Yeah, I'm listening.
But I know just exactly
what you're going to say.

What?

Well, that's just
too bad, Mrs. Moffat.

But I happen to be
running this paper and
I think it was fit to print.

Good day to you.

Mrs. Moffat that time.

Stand by, Henry,
for full returns.

Fifty other Lynnfield hens
will be heard from yet.

This hen says,
"Not fit to print."

Yes, siree.

(PHONE RINGING)

Hello, who is it and what...

Yes, yes, I know,
Mrs. Perry, I know.

I know you don't like
that Caroline Adams novel

I'm running serially
in theBugle.

Yeah, unmoral and
not fit to print. Yes.

Yes, Mrs. Perry.
That is right. Yes.

Now look here, Mrs. Perry,
let me tell you something.
I apologize.

I apologize for
breaking my neck

trying to buy the serial
rights to the best-selling
novel of the day.

I apologize for waking
the town of Lynnfield
out of a 20-year sleep

to show it how people live
and learn and love
in the wide-awake world.

I apologize.

(SIGHS)

The buzzards are swooping
down on us, Henry.

(PHONE RINGING)
Yes, siree. Hot diggety.

Say, get your nose out
of that paper and answer
the phone once in a while.

I want to eat some lunch.

Hello. Yeah.

Yeah. Who is it?
Who is it?

Miss Lynn.
Here, give me that.

Hello, Theodora.

No, don't tell me
you called up about
that Caroline Adams story.

THEODORA:
I'm afraid that's it, Jed.

Well, you'll have to admit
Caroline Adams doesn't
exactly write bedtime stories.

Tell him it's shocking.
And scandalous.

Aunt Mary and Aunt Elsie
simply can't approve, Jed.

So the two Lynn oracles
have spoken?

Well, well, now,
wouldn't you think
after five generations

the Lynn family would be
tired running this town?

But the point is, Jed,
the Literary Circle is up
in arms against this book.

They're having
a meeting tonight
to discuss it.

He better be there.
Aunt Mary said
you'd better be there.

So it's come
to that, has it?

Yes, Jed, it's come to that.
8:00, the public library.

All right,
I'll be there.

"'I'd better be going home,'
Pamela said. 'It's late.'
Spencer smiled.

"It seemed minutes
before he answered.

"'Home, Pamela?
Why, it's very early, my dear.
The night has just begun.'

(WOMEN GASP)

"With these words
uttered like caresses,
he started slowly toward her.

"Pamela stood rigid,
frightened,
watching him advance.

"His steps were slow,
deliberate. Pamela
felt imprisoned, helpless.

"She wanted to run past him
out of this strange
apartment down to the street.

"But her brain was
reeling with drink."

ALL: Oh, my.

"She was robbed
of all purpose.

"'You're very beautiful
tonight, Pamela,' he said.

"The words mingled
with the plaintive music
that filled the room.

"He was close to her.
He reached out violently.

"His hands fastened
on her arms and
pinned them to her sides.

"She was suddenly pressed
tightly against him.

"He spoke in low rapid tones,
words she did not hear.

"She fought desperately
to break out of his grasp.

"'Let me go! Let me go!'

(WOMEN MURMURING)
"She could feel
his breath on her cheek

"and then his lips on hers
with a shocking,
terrible suddenness.

"The room suddenly
went dark."

(WOMEN EXCLAIMING)

That's enough, Rebecca.
I think we've heard plenty.

Well, I should think so.

If you don't mind,
I haven't been taking
theBugleregularly

and I'd like to hear
the rest of it.

You certainly don't have
to hear more than that

to make up
your mind about it.

Don't worry, Miss Jenkins.
You'll get a copy.
I printed 100 extra today.

Jed Waterbury.

Well, I knew they'd be
in great demand
with the womenfolk.

(WOMEN EXCLAIMING)

Well, I guess
we've agreed
about one thing.

This Literary Circle
isn't going to let
sexy trash like this

come right into our homes
and corrupt us.

Now, just a second.
Just a second.

As long as I can remember,
this community has had
its head in the sand saying,

"There ain't no evil."

Well, then that
may be all right
for you old people.

You're practically
dead anyhow with
one foot in the grave.

(WOMEN CLAMORING)
WOMAN: The impudence.

But your youngsters
ought to be told
what it's all about.

You can't keep civilization
out of Lynnfield forever.

Jed Waterbury,
if civilization is like
Caroline Adams writes about,

then it's best that
our children get along
without civilization.

All right.

(WOMEN CLAMORING)

Theodora,
what's the Lynn family
got to say about this?

Aunt Mary and Aunt Elsie
told me to tell you
they want the story stopped.

And if it isn't, theLynnfieldBugleis going to find itself
without subscribers.

I'm sorry, Jed.
There you are.
All in favor, say "aye."

WOMEN: Aye.

Well, is that plain enough,
Mr. Jed Waterbury?

Yep, that's plain enough.

I guess I know
a righteous spanking
when I get one.

All right, I'll quit
printing the thing.

Yes.

By the way,
about those extra
copies of the paper,

come early
and avoid the rush.

(WOMEN CLAMORING)

Well, now,
one thing more.

I think it
no more than right that
the Lynnfield Literary Circle

should go on record
and tell whoever
is publishing the book

that this community
condemns it lock,
stock and barrel.

WOMAN: Absolutely.

In fact, I make
a resolution
to that effect.

All in favor, say "aye."
WOMEN: Aye.

Well, that will hold
Mr. Jed Waterbury
for a while.

Surely ought to.

I'm going to
New York tomorrow
to visit Uncle John.

I'll probably
see Adelaide.
Give the lamb my love.

I'll never be done
thanking you, Theodora,

for getting her to New York
for a change of scenery.

Good night.
Good night.

Good night.
It was just
too sweet of you

to take such an interest
in my only child.

WOMEN: Good night.
Good night.

I declare to goodness,
you're a Lynn clear through.

Just downright fine.

I'll give you
a batch of cookies to
take in to Adelaide.

All right.
The soft ginger kind.

They won't be all crumbs
by the time they get to her.

Come to think of it,
I won't send a letter to
that Stevenson publisher.

I'm going to
send a telegram.

"Fewer and stronger words,"
I always say.

Something like this...
"Gentlemen, so to speak." No.

"In the name of decency
and good morals." No.

"This brazen filth..."

"...published by you
is a disgrace
to American morals

"and a sin against
American youth."

Signed, "Rebecca Perry,
President, Lynnfield
Literary Circle."

Nice going, Rebecca.
Miss Adams will
just love this.

See that those contracts are
ready for her to sign on the
movie purchase of her book.

Yes, Mr. Stevenson.

And let me have
an up-to-the-minute
statement

on the sales to date.
Yes, sir.

Show her in, please,
the moment she arrives.

Yes, sir.

Miss Adams.

How do you do,
Miss Adams?

Hello.
Well, come in,
come in.

I'm awfully glad
to see you.

Seems years between visits.
Come sit down.
Sit down, Miss Lynn.

Adams.
I'm sorry.

But how much time
do I get today?

Well, the usual hour.
Uncle John's expecting me.

Well, let's sit down.

Say, I got a wire
this morning that
might amuse you.

I know.
Signed Rebecca Perry.

Why did you sell
those serial rights
to theLynnfield Bugle?

Have you got an aspirin?

(CHUCKLING) Well,
I haven't even heard
about theBugle.

An aspirin for Miss Adams.
But I think it's very funny.

Very funny.
Maybe you do,

but I had to sit and
listen to it read out loud,
and I give you my word,

you have no idea
how indecent
the stuff sounded.

Well, shall we
make it two aspirins?
No. Really.

I suddenly realized
I was a writer of wide
reputation and most of it bad.

I could see Lynnfield
finding out the truth.

Aunt Mary and Aunt Elsie
dying of shame.

The name of Lynn
disgraced forever and...

Your aspirin.
Thank you.
It won't help.

Here.

Now will you please
sit down and stop worrying
and let me talk to you?

Mr. Stevenson, do you
have to advertise Caroline
Adams in letters that size?

Couldn't you make them
just a little bit...

That's what makes the size
of your bank account.

Would you like
to have a look
at your balance?

Well, it couldn't
possibly interest me.

I can't use any of it
without telling
where I got it.

Will you please
stop worrying?

Now, the identity
of Caroline Adams
will never be known.

Miss Baldwin and I
will carry the secret
to our graves.

Now, that ought to
take care of everything,
oughtn't it?

Everything except
my own conscience.

My dear Miss Adams,

don't tell me you care
what the Lynnfield
Literary Circle thinks?

I can't help it.
I'm part of it.

I'm part of everything
in Lynnfield.

Were you raised in
a small town by
two maiden aunts? No!

Have you taught Sunday school
for the past 10 years? No!

Have you played the organ
in church since you were 15?
No! Well, I have.

And right now, I ask myself,
where did Caroline Adams
come from?

How did all this start?

You walked in here
one day with a very
promising manuscript.

Yes, I thought
it was just romantic.

I must have been
out of my mind.

What? To write a book
that's sweeping the country?

But not a clean sweep.

(CHUCKLES)
Heaven forbid.

What's this?
The first chapter
of the new book?

No.

Come on, now.
What's in that package?

Cookies.
Cookies?

Rebecca made them.
You know Rebecca.

She loves to write telegrams.

"Fewer and stronger words,"
she always says.

Will you have one?
No, no, no, no.

Well, they're awfully good.
No.

The soft ginger kind
with no crumbs.

No, no, no. Now,
where's that chapter?

It just won't write,
Mr. Stevenson.
I've tried, honest I have.

I still stuff rags under
my door at night in case
my aunts are prowling around.

But it's no use.
I'm too upset.

The way I feel now,
I'll never write again.

Now look here. Sooner or
later you've got to be
sensible and take my advice.

Have it out with Lynnfield.
Tell them all about it.
Come to New York.

Get yourself an apartment
and write me six more books.

Bye-bye, Mr. Stevenson.
Now wait a minute,

we've got some
business to discuss.

Not today.
I'm not in the mood.
All right, all right.

But there's one thing more,
and this is very important.

I promised my wife
the first time you came in,
she could see you.

You what?
Well, I simply had to.

I thought we said nobody.
Well, you see,
it's this way.

Now, she's a rabid fan
of yours. She just
wants to look at you.

First it's a look.
Then it's questions.
Then anything could happen.

No, no, no.
I swear she'll know
nothing about you.

Now look,
she's been making life
miserable for me,

and you don't know Ethel.
I'm sorry.

Hello.

Well,
I'd never believe it.
This is Ethel.

I heard you. Don't tell me
you're Caroline Adams?

(CHUCKLING) Well,
I've been dying
to meet you.

(LAUGHS)

Who's this?

Get out of here, Michael,
and shut that door.

You see,
first it's one person,
then it's two.

One thing about Michael,
he only goes
where he's not invited.

What do you want?
So you're Caroline Adams?

Say, you ought to meet me.

I'm the man that did
the cover for your book

and that glorious
woman on the poster.

Well, she may be glorious,
but she's certainly
underdressed.

Well, that's the way
I found her
in your book, lady.

Say, are you sure
you're Caroline Adams?

What do you mean,
is she sure
she's Caroline Adams?

Well, I don't know.
Caroline Adams ought to
look as though she'd lived.

Forgive me, perhaps you've
got a terrific constitution
and it doesn't show.

All right, that's enough,
Michael. Now, either
get out or go sit down.

I'll go sit down.

Well, there is a certain
bloom of innocence in your
face that surprised me, too.

What did you expect to see,
the tattooed woman?

Don't be silly, lamb.

You know, I can't get a word
out of Arthur about you.

And I'm just dying
to know things.

Miss Adams has to go, pet.
THEODORA: Yes,
Uncle John's waiting for me.

Whose Uncle John?
Her Uncle John.

Yes, my uncle.
I see. You've an uncle.

Well, what about later?
Why not take dinner with us?

No, thank you.
I couldn't.

You see, I have to
catch the first train
back to... Back home.

Where's that?
Out west.
Way out west on the range.

Come now,
there are trains
leaving all night long

for way out west
on the range.

You must
take dinner with us, dear.
We'll meet you here at 6:00.

Well, I couldn't.
I didn't bring
a change of clothes.

That's all right,
we won't dress.

Arthur, make her stay.

Well, that's that,
Miss Adams.

But we'll put you
on the earliest possible
train after dinner.

(MUFFLED) May I
come to dinner, too?
No.

All right,
but I'll have to run now.

Goodbye, dear.
Don't forget, 6:00.

My cookies.

(SIGHS)

I'm sorry,
they're very good.

A total of $3.296.33.

Well, there's
your aunts' income
for the quarter.

(CHUCKLES) Any special
instructions from those
two plaster saints?

No. Just the usual
check for $300,
Uncle John.

And put the rest away.
(CLICKING TONGUE)
Such virtue.

Tell me, dear,
when are you coming to stay
with me for a couple of days

and let me show you the town?
Sometime soon.
Not today, though.

That means never.
Still don't approve
of me, do you?

No. Think I'm wicked.

Believe everything those
two charming sisters of mine
tell you about me, don't you?

Confidentially, Uncle John,
are you really wicked?

Confidentially, honey,
I'm just a little
short of terrific. Here.

There's the evidence.

My gallery of playmates.
Put them all together
and you have

one of the most delightful
careers that a man has
ever carved out for himself.

Now, meet Annabelle, 1896,
right down to and
including Margie, 1936.

Shocked to death,
aren't you?

That pained expression
of yours is just like Mary's.

They're making a fine
job of you, all right.

Listen, baby.

Anyone ever call you baby?

No.
Pity.

And they never will
in Lynnfield.

Theodora.

Adelaide.

How are you, darling?
I'm fine.

Mother isn't worried
or suspicious?
No, not a bit.

She thinks you're
working for Mrs. Jamison
and that you're so happy.

Have you heard
from Roger?
No.

You still don't
want to tell him?

If his mother
has frightened him
away from me,

I don't want
to bring him back
because of this.

Of course,
at the same time,

I can't let you
and Uncle John
go on keeping me.

Who said so? Why,
I wouldn't let you go.

Why, young chickens like you
are a tonic to me.

Do you see? Run along now,
take off your coat
and we'll have some tea.

By the way,
your mother sent
some cookies for you,

but I met a hungry man
and he ate them up.

You run along, dear.

You know, Theodora,

this low trick you're
playing on Lynnfield tells me
that there's hope for you yet.

Of course, not much,
but just a little.

But there's nothing
low about it.
No?

You're only hoping
to conceal it
from Rebecca Perry

the fact that
her daughter is
going to have a baby.

You lie about finding
her work in New York,

and you hide her away
with your sinful old uncle.

Adelaide's married.

Of course, that makes
all the difference
in the world, doesn't it?

Well, I had to do
something about it.
The poor girl was frantic.

Their parents don't know
anything about her
being married

and that baby husband
of hers going back
to school.

That's the old spirit.
And I love you for it.

And I'm going to be
proud of you yet.

Not if I can help it, Uncle.

Well, this is fine.
Here we are. Cute little
place, isn't it?

Good evening.

Did you ever see so
many hors d'oeuvres
in all your life?

You can take all you want.
That's the nice part about it.

Yes. Ethel always comes here
after one of her 18-day diets.

Well, it's a quaint
little place.

Yeah, little
Swedish restaurant
not many people know.

I thought you'd like it.
It's quiet
and out of the way.

You'd never meet a soul
here you'd know.
That's good.

What was that, Arthur?
I was just saying that

we carry the hors d'oeuvres
to the table

and the rest of the meal
will be served there.

You were? I doubt that
very much. Mystery, mystery.
All I get is mystery.

I'm dying to know something
about Miss Adams,

and all I get is talk
behind my back. Will you
lead the way, dear?

I must admit,
you've got me
running in circles.

I thought you were
a woman of 50.

With your hair dyed,
your face lifted, and...

Cocktails, ladies?
What'll it be?

Martini. And here you are,
an adorable young thing.

And your modesty, my dear.
Your girlish sweetness.
I'm baffled.

Cocktail, Miss Adams?
No, thank you.
None for me.

Why not?
Don't pester her, Ethel.

If she doesn't want one,
she doesn't want one.

Two martinis, please.

Yes, sir.
They'll be at your table.

Now, before I pass out
with curiosity, tell me,
don't you ever...

Please, angel, please.

Writers' lives are very dull,
Mrs. Stevenson.

Very dull.
I'm sure you'd
be disappointed.

All right, I won't be
a pest. But you do
make people curious.

Now, Michael said...
He's apt to say
most anything, that fellow.

Or do anything,
for that matter.

I like him,
but he certainly
can be most annoying.

He's a trifle mad,
isn't he?

Try some of this.
It's very good.

(TOASTING IN SWEDISH)

How in the world did you
know that we were here?

Well, I said to myself,
"If I were Stevenson, and
wanted to avoid Michael,

"what would be the most
out-of-the-way place
to which I'd go?"

And, boom, I hit it.
First crack out
of the box.

How's everybody?
Glad you're on time,
because I'm pretty hungry.

And I'm so glad
you came here.
I love hors d'oeuvres.

Anybody ask you to
have dinner with us?

Not formally.
Or informally?

Well, in a way, no.

Well, this is the end
of the line. I guess
we may as well sit down.

Lead the way
to our table, Ethel.

Miss Adams.

Arthur.

Now, let's see.
Wonderful food here.

It's a wonder
you can eat anything
after all those cookies.

You know how it is
with growing boys.

No, I don't. How is it
with growing boys?

You've got me, pal.

ARTHUR: Waiter,
here and here, please.

Concoct another one
of those for me,
bartender.

Very well, sir.

Wait a minute.
Not drinking?

No, thank you.
Not drinking.

You mean you never drink?

Did I say I never drink?

But you look as though
you never drank.

And for Caroline Adams,
that's very interesting.
Tell me, do you...

That'll do for you,
Mr. Grant.

It's no use, Michael.

I've been working
on Miss Adams
half an hour.

She won't let down
her back hair.
That's all there is to it.

I see. But the point is,
has she got any back hair?

All this talk about drinking
has made me a little thirsty,
though.

Waiter?
WAITER: Yes, ma'am.

Straight whiskey.

(BOTH TOASTING IN SWEDISH)

(SLURRING)
Ethel, you're not
keeping up with us.

(CHUCKLES)
Little Ethie feels like
she's had a drop too much.

Oh.

You and Michael seem
to have been drinking
your dinner.

I was just showing
the gentleman
my back hair.

Would you say
it was down now,
Mr. Grant?

MICHAEL: Well,
I wouldn't say
it wasn't.

Hadn't we better start
thinking about your
train now, Caroline?

That's right, Arthur.
You keep me posted now.
Keep me posted.

Check, please.
WAITER: Yes, sir.

MICHAEL: Say,
did I hear you say
you never danced?

Who, me? Well,
you certainly didn't.

I know a hot little
night spot that's
just opened uptown.

You do?
That is if you go to
that sort of place.

Well, I write
about them, don't I?
That's right, you do.

In fact, when I hear about
a new hot spot, I'm like an
old fire horse and the bell.

(CHUCKLES)
No.

You know, talking
about fire horses,

I haven't seen
a fire horse
since I was a kid.

Well, my dear fellow,
you're missing something.

We still have them
up in our town.
Where's that?

(COUGHS)

(LAUGHS)

Wouldn't he like to know?

It's train time now,
Caroline. Let's go.

There is another train
in about two hours.

Let's just take a peek
at this night spot.
Come on, Arthur.

Come on, Ethel,
make him.

Well, I'm not
feeling my best,

but I started all this
and I'm going to finish it.

Here you go.

(GLASSES CLATTERING)

(LAUGHS) Let's go.
Come on.
Pure accident.

Come on, let's go.

(LATIN MUSIC PLAYING)

(GIGGLES)

How are you doing,
Caroline?

I'm flying.

I'm floating
on a breeze.

(EXCLAIMS)

Pure accident.

That was no accident, lady,
that was my foot.

(GIGGLING)

Michael was right.

She's got a terrific
constitution and
it doesn't show.

(CHUCKLES)

Little Goldilocks drank me
right under the table.

I'm passing out, lamb.
Here, here, dear.

Now, don't do anything
like that. We've got to
put Caroline on that train.

Mama's big boy
better get little Ethie
out of here right now.

Now, be sensible, pet.
We can't leave
Caroline here like this.

We've got to put her
on that train.

I know,
way out west somewhere.

Michael will put her
on the range.

Ducky, better get
little Ethie out of here
while she can still walk.

Here, take my arm.

I wish I knew
what started all this.

Come on, dear.
Now be careful,
be careful.

You're one of those
clever fellows,
aren't you?

That's what they all say.

Had your mind
all made up about me,
didn't you?

Thought I didn't drink.

Thought I didn't dance,
too.

(GROANS)

Pure accident.

Here we are, my dear.
My own little nest.

Aren't you coming in?

Naturally.

What a lovely place,
Michael. It's so inspiring.

Coming from an expert,
that's something.

You mean me?

Yes. I was referring
to the apartment
you wrote about.

You know, what's-his-name's
place where Pamela was lured.

Yes. Poor little Pamela.

Are these your etchings?

Mmm-hmm. Poor things,
but my own.

Here's my latest,
most ambitious work.
Almost finished.

Eve and the serpent.

Charming.
Perfectly charming.

Shall I take your coat?
Aren't you going
to stay for a while?

Naturally.

Perhaps you don't
want to stay?

Why not?

I don't know.
This hour of the night,
bachelor apartment.

You're still full of
peculiar notions
about me, aren't you?

Some soft music
would be nice,
don't you think?

As a matter of fact,
it's been playing
the whole time.

Oh.

Well, it's charming.
Perfectly charming.

Drink?

Yes. I was just going
to suggest that.

Scotch?

Scotch.

I thought you were
going to get the drink?

Maybe I'd better go.
I guess it is
getting pretty late.

Late? Why the evening's
just begun, darling.

Did I tell you
how beautiful you look
tonight, Caroline?

No.

Well, you do.
You're adorable.

Don't you dare.
Don't you dare!

You stay right
where you are.

If you come
one more step,
I'll scream.

I'll scream. Do you hear me?
You keep away from me.

Let me get my things
and my ticket home.
You keep away from me.

(SCREAMS)

I'll get a policeman
after you. I will.
I'll get a policeman.

You stay where you are.
You stay where you are.

(MUTTERING)

♪ Rock of Ages,
cleft for me

♪ Let me hide myself
in thee

♪ Let the water
and the blood

♪ From thy wounded side
which flowed

♪ Be of sin
the double cure

♪ Safe from wrath
and make me pure

ALL:
♪ Could my tears
forever flow

♪ Could my zeal
no respite know

♪ These for sin
could not atone

♪ Thou must save,
and thou alone

♪ In my hand my prize
I bring

♪ Simply to the cross
I cling ♪

Want to stop in
for a snack,
Rebecca?

Why, I don't mind if I do.

I hope Adelaide ain't keeping
late hours or traipsing around
the city all by herself.

No. She's at home
with her work
most of the time.

Reading to Mrs. Jamison.
She never goes out,
except when...

(WHISTLING)

Except what?

What?
She never goes out,
except...

(CONTINUES WHISTLING)

Except when
she goes out.

That don't make sense,
Theodora.

He looks like
a stranger to me.

Nice day of the week
to be whistling
a jig on the streets.

Looks a lot
too happy for Sunday,
if you ask me.

Of course, now and then
she takes a ride in
the park with Mrs. Jamison.

Who does?
Adelaide.

Yes, Adelaide.

I wonder if she hears
from Roger Taylor.

Or did she get
all that nonsense
out of her head?

Brazen-looking,
isn't he?

About time we were
discussing this year's
charity bazaar, Rebecca.

I was going to say.

If it's going to be a success,
I guess it's kind of
up to the Lynns again.

It usually is.
Well, we haven't
shirked any duty yet.

(WHISTLING)

Look out, child.
You're going
to drop that cup.

What's gotten...

Him again?

Yes.
Walking by?

No, just sort of
resting on the gate.

I'll phone
Captain O'Donnell

and have him put
that good-for-nothing
loafer in jail,

where he can whistle
to his heart's content.

No, don't bother, Aunt Mary.
I'll tell him to go away.

Don't get
too close to him.

How do you do, lady?
Right smart weather
we're having.

You get away from here
and leave town
as fast as you can.

Is that the way
to greet an old friend?
An old drinking companion?

You listen to me.
My two aunts and
the worst gossip

in town are watching us.

As far as they're concerned,
I don't know a soul
outside of Lynnfield.

And if they suspected
what you know about me,
they'd have fits.

Now, be a nice man,
tip your hat politely
and get away from here.

Marvelous.
This beats my first
guess by a mile.

Will you please go?

Yep. That's a mighty
fine homestead
you got there, lady.

Of course,
your lawn looks a bit seedy.
And that vine needs training.

You know what
you need, lady?
A gardener.

Don't be absurd.
We never had one.

Lady, you've got one.

Now listen to me.
It simply can't be done.

I can start right now.

What's this all about?
Why don't he go along?
What does he want?

I'm looking for work,
ma'am. Work!

He's a gardener, Auntie.
He says he needs work.

Not interested.

MICHAEL: Well, you ought
to be, ma'am. Your garden
looks pretty bad to me.

I don't care how
it looks to you.

Don't stand there arguing
at the top of your voice,
young man. It's Sunday.

Just go along
about your business.

Yes, go along.
Go along.

I'm a very willing
worker, ma'am!

Quiet!

I just said we don't
want the garden touched,

and if we did, we wouldn't
hire a stranger we found
loafing on our doorstep.

You got me all wrong, ma'am.
I ain't no loafer at heart.

I was just telling the little
lady here something of
my life's story.

Well, you can't
shout your life's story
out there on the street.

You're quite right,
ma'am. I'll come in.

Here, here, doggie.
No, no.
That's a friend of mine.

I just picked him up.
Nice character.

A little down on his luck,
so we decided
to throw in together.

I suppose he gardens, too.
Yeah, just with
his front feet.

My name is Theodora Lynn.
Yes, ma'am.

And wipe your feet.
It ain't raining.

Wipe them anyway.
It's always done
in Lynnfield.

Yes, ma'am.

(DOG BARKING)
Now look here,
young man.

ELSIE: Keep
your dog out of here.

If he as much
as growls at Sylvia...

Come here, Jake.

Get him away
from here.

Sit down.

My name's Dewberry,
ma'am.

Young man,
you're wasting your time.

I see,
so you're refusing work
to a man who needs it,

who's willing to work.

A man who wants a chance
to get back his self-respect.

That isn't very
charitable-minded,
is it?

We're as charitable-minded
as the rest, young man.

Our acts speak
for themselves, Elsie.
That isn't the point.

Well, it seems to me it is.

But don't worry,
I'll find work.

I'll find it in
this town, too.

And I'll have a lot to say
about how people
are treated in this house.

In fact,
I'll have a lot to say
about a lot of things.

I suppose it's our fault
that we can't find
work for anybody

who comes to the door.

There is some work
to do, Aunt Mary.
What work?

Well, cleaning up and
sort of straightening
around the garden.

Exactly. Thank you, lady.
That's what I call
intelligent charity.

I'll just give him that
room in the tool house.
This way, please.

Come on, Jake.
This way.

Well, if that
don't beat all.

Elsie, we can't
leave Theodora alone
with a man like that.

Well, of all the brassy,
young no-accounts.

Why, I don't know what
Theodora can be thinking
about giving him work.

He'll be out of here
before we can
say Jack Robinson.

So I don't see any reason
to mention this around town,
Rebecca.

Me? Lands, no.

Why, there's nothing
to mention.

I guess Theodora was
just sorry for him.
That's all.

Of course, he was sort of
good-looking and young.

Lands, I wouldn't
say a word.

Say, this is fine.
I'm going to be
very happy here.

I'll just sweep up,
Aunt Elsie,

while you get some sheets
and a blanket from the house.

We'll get those things later.
I'll wait while you sweep up.

Yes, sir, this is what
I call surroundings.

The kind of a place
that moves people to write.

Suppose you do
your own sweeping.

It might save time,
Aunt Elsie, if you
got the things now.

There's no hurry.
Go ahead and get
whatever it is, Elsie.

Aunt Mary.
Go with your aunt.

Say, this place is
crawling with aunts.

Where?

Sorry, lady.
My mistake.

(MICHAEL WHISTLING)

MICHAEL: Come here, Jake.
Come on.

There, with the compliments
of Sylvia.

(CONTINUES WHISTLING)

There, he just
put his light out.

I wish he'd put
his whistle out.

I guess we can all
go to sleep now.

You can go to sleep
if you like.

I'm going to sit
right down here
all this blessed night.

If I'm going to be robbed,
at least I've got the right
to know about it.

I can't think whatever
possessed you, Theodora.

Well, he looked so pathetic.

Nothing pathetic about
a strange loafer.

Now, you just let him
putter around tomorrow

and then he goes
right on his way.

He'd better stop
that infernal tooting.

If he doesn't,
it'll drive me crazy.

(PLAYING OFF-KEY)

(WHISTLING LOUDLY)

(MICHAEL WHISTLING A TUNE)

(PLAYING A TUNE)

(MICHAEL WHISTLING)

♪ Be still my heart

♪ I can tell
who's knocking
at my door

♪ Love has come
to say that we must part

♪ Be still my heart

♪ Just read those eyes

♪ Trembling lips that
don't know where to start

♪ Even though you know
they are telling lies

♪ Be still my heart

♪ He hears the rumbling
of the drums

♪ They bid him come
and he must go

♪ He is leaving me
and leaving you

♪ For someone new
and though we miss him so

♪ We'll never let him know

♪ Don't cry my heart

♪ Even though your love
has gone away

♪ He'll be coming
back to us some day

♪ Be still my heart ♪

(WHISTLING THE SAME TUNE)

(PLAYING OFF-KEY)

(ROARS)

(WHIRRING)

Want some coffee, Auntie?

No, thank you.

You haven't eaten a thing.

Isn't your head
any better, Aunt Mary?

Worse.

That lawn mower never made
so much noise before.

Well, I guess nobody
ever pushed it
so fast before.

You have to admit
he's a very willing worker.

He ought to do something
after the breakfast he ate.

Two helpings of oatmeal,
four eggs, and
a rasher of bacon, coffee.

And then he says,
"What? No waffles, Elsie?"

"Elsie" he calls me!

And I call him
too altogether
downright familiar.

Any more of his sass...

MICHAEL:
♪ Get along, little doggie,
get along, get along

♪ Get along, little doggie,
get along

(DOG BARKING)

♪ Get along, little doggie

Good morning, neighbors.
Good morning. Morning, ma'am.

♪ Get along, little doggie,
get along

Howdy, squire.
Howdy. Howdy.
Morning, ma'am.

My, my, well, dog my cats,
that's a mighty pretty hat
you got on.

Looks like an heirloom.

♪ Get along, little doggie,
get along

♪ Turn around, little doggie

♪ Turn around, turn around

This is the end.
Half of Lynnfield's marching
by to see that lunatic.

No, Rebecca wasn't
going to say a word.

Well, I'll settle him.
I'll go, Aunt Mary. I'll go.

I think maybe
I can manage him.

♪ Get along, get along,
get along, little... ♪

Morning, miss.
What do you think
you're doing?

You can't stage
a circus out here
in this front yard.

Well, I can't disappoint
all these people

who've walked blocks
just to look me over,
can I?

Well, you've given them
more now than they expected.

So unhitch that barking horse
and stop this nonsense.

I hope you've learned
your lesson, Jake.

It's a disgrace to have
a little fun in Lynnfield
and don't you forget it.

Good morning, Mrs. Cobb.
Good morning, Mrs. Cobb.

My, my, you've
put on weight.

That's about enough
from you, Mr. Dewberry.

You and I are going
in the back and trim
the rose bushes, understand?

Okay, lady.
Giddyup, Jake.
Giddyup. Giddyup.

THEODORA: Keep your hands busy
and your eyes on your work.

And tell me, how did you
track me to Lynnfield?

Homing instinct,
like a pigeon.
Tell me.

You left some papers
on the floor in your wild
flight from my apartment.

Pure accident.
I see.

Well, now that
you know everything

and you've had
your little laugh,
why don't you get along?

It fascinates me.

Why don't you get
away from this burg
and lead a natural life?

I'm happy
right where I am.

No quaking rabbit
was every happy.

And for a lovely woman
with talent, it's a sin.

Don't worry, lady, I'm going
to break you out of this jail
and give you to the world.

You wouldn't be so low
as to tell my aunts
and Lynnfield about me?

No, you're going
to do that yourself.
Never.

That's the old
Lynnfield spirit.

And tell me, what kind
of berries are ripe
this time of year?

Blackberries. Why?

That's what you and I are
going to pick tomorrow.

Don't be silly.
I can't go skipping off
to the woods with you.

It's the berries
tomorrow.

What are you doing?

ELSIE: Who told you to
take up that rose bush?

You're a gardener, are you?
Well, you're dismissed.

You've got your
notice right now.

Now, Aunt Mary,
you can't do that.
I told him to dig it up.

Why?
Well, I thought maybe...

Well, she was just saying
it ought to be transplanted.

And I was just saying
as how transplanting
is very important.

You see,
it's this way,
Aunt Maria.

If you keep a rose bush
in one place too long,

it uses up all the nourishment
in that one little spot
of ground.

And what happens?
It stops growing. Settles
down to a dull existence.

(MEOWS)
And it's the same way
with most people.

(DOG BARKING)
What they need occasionally is
new soil with new life in it.

Hey, Jake!
Sylvia!

Sylvia!

(ALL ARGUING)

Sylvia!
Jake!

(LAUGHING)

I thought you said
you were a berry-picker?

(GROANING)

And no cracks, you.
I'm just not used to
bending over, that's all.

You're a wreck,
Mr. Dewberry.

You know what you need?
No, what?

You need nourishment,
new soil, transplanting.

You're a nasty character.
Excuse me, I'm tired.

(SIGHS)

Well, what about
some berries?

Well, they're right
at your head. Dig in.

Drop them in my mouth.

Well, who's going
to chew them for you?

Drop them way back
so they'll just slide down.

(SNICKERS)

Sorry I have to
trouble you to swallow.

That's all right.

More.
Want some more?

(CHOKING)

(LAUGHING)

You ought to be
ashamed of yourself

laughing like that,
right out loud
and everything.

What would Lynnfield say?

Say, has anybody ever been
known to laugh in Lynnfield?

I think there is a case
or two on record.

Well, then somebody
must have been tickling them.

You know, you're a strange,
sad case, girlie.
Do you know that?

No. No, tell me, doctor.

Well, to begin with,
you're really a nice gal.

Full of normal desires,
but I can tell you
what's happening to them.

What?
They're being slowly
strangled to death.

Why, that's murder.
No, suicide.

Everything Lynnfield
doesn't want you to
feel you write about.

Love, laughter,
all the things you want
to experience and can't.

Go on.

There's a happy world
out yonder, girlie.
Break loose, be yourself.

Tell Lynnfield to go
take a jump.

Can you imagine
Aunt Mary taking a jump?

Well, it's the only way
you'll ever be
a free happy soul.

Mind the old doctor.
I know.

I had to go through
the same thing.

Sure is tough to break away
from your family,

your background
and be yourself.

They had it all fixed for me
to settle down
in Papa's footsteps.

To be a banker
and a statesman,
but I wanted to paint.

It was the battle
of the century,
but I won it.

I knew you would.

Yeah? Well, at least
I can call my soul
my own. Do you?

No.

No, I don't.
I really don't.

But I could
with a little help
from you, doctor.

Just say the word, girlie.
What do you want me to do?

I want you to
get out of Lynnfield
and stay out.

Then I'd be free and happy.

You see, Dr. Dewberry,

my real life
is right here.
Yeah?

Caroline Adams was just
an accident. Pure accident.
She won't write any more.

But, if anything should
go wrong, I'd be glad
to call on you, doctor.

Your bedside manner
is so charming.

I do appreciate it.

Listen, it's getting
late and I have
to help with dinner.

Come on, grandpop,
we've got to go.

(LAUGHS)

Wipe off your face.

Come on, Jake.

Goodbye.
Now, wait a minute.

You may win
as a berry-picker,

but wait until
we go fishing and then
I'll show you a thing or two.

Wait till who goes fishing?
I thought I told you to leave.

Sure, sure, I'll leave.
Now, let's see,

the best time to go
fishing is about
5:00 in the morning.

What we catch,
we'll eat for breakfast.

Listen, I'll have a hard
enough time explaining
this berry-picking.

You'd have a harder time
explaining about Caroline
Adams, wouldn't you?

Shall we make it 4:30?

(WHISPERING)
Now, then, just relax.

You'll never catch trout
if you're too anxious.

They can tell an amateur
a mile off. Now then,
casting is an art.

You want your bait to describe
a wide arc and settle down
gently on the water.

If you make a splash,
you scare them away.

Well, here goes.
Now then,
you watch closely.

You didn't catch anything.

Well, you don't catch
a trout every time
you cast, little girl.

Have a try.

You mean like that?

(CHUCKLES)

That makes five for me.

You haven't caught any yet,
have you, Michael?

You know darn well
I haven't.

Why didn't you tell me
you were a crack fisherman?

Well, you didn't
give me a chance.

You were so busy telling me
how good you were.

I don't think we ought
to catch any more than
we can eat, do you?

Want to have breakfast now?
If you'll invite me.
They're your fish.

Come on.
You're invited.

Come on, Jake.

Come on, boy,
get your breakfast.
Hello, Jake. Hello, boy.

Do you like fish, Jake?
Come on, boy.

When are you
leaving town, Michael?

You know, I can
really relax on fish.

It sits just right.
Not too heavy
and not too light.

That rhymes. Not too heavy,
not too light. Eat more fish.
Sits just right.

When are you leaving town?

You said that.
But you didn't answer me.

Well, to be serious
about it, I don't know.

Well, when do you think?

Can't think on fish.
I inherit that
from my grandpa.

Michael,
stop poking at that fire.

Hey, what do you
think you're doing?

I'm the Boy Scout here.

(GROANING) My eyes.

Here, you goop.
I'm blind.

Well, it serves you right.
Don't you know any better

than to go
playing with fire?
Keep still, it hurts.

So would your finger
if you stuck it
in a buzz saw.

(WHINING)
It hurts something awful.

All right, all right.
Don't cry now. Don't cry.

Papa will make it
all better for you.

Now, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.

See? All better?

♪ Three blind mice

♪ Three blind mice
♪ Three blind mice

♪ Three blind mice
♪ See how they run

♪ See how they run
♪ See how they run

♪ See how they run
♪ They all ran after
the farmer's wife

♪ They all ran after
the farmer's wife

♪ She cut off their tails
with a carving knife

(LAUGHING)
♪ Did you ever see
such a sight in your life

♪ Three blind mice

♪ Three... ♪

Michael, I forgot
it was Sunday.

Miss Wilson,
you look after
the sale of tickets.

Mrs. Moffat will have
charge of the refreshments.

And Mrs. Cobb
will take charge of
the clothing booth.

I'll manage the raffle.

Rebecca, you will...
I know.

Well, I guess there is only
one more thing to discuss.

That's what day
we'll have our bazaar.

But before we go
into that,

I think we'll have
our tea and cake.

Theodora.
Yes, Aunt Mary.

Well, if you ask me, Mary,

there's just one thing
to discuss at this meeting.

That is the conduct
of Theodora.

Rebecca,
and all of you,

Theodora might make
a few little mistakes out
of a generous impulse,

but she couldn't
do anything sinful.

You know that, because
you've known her
since she was a child.

So I won't have
any aspersions cast.

Is that plain?

That isn't
a true hexagon.

By the way,
our gardener is leaving
in the morning.

(MICHAEL WHISTLING)

Michael.
Well, come in.

I'm washing out
my only shirt. Come in.

No, I can't.
I've got to get back.

(DOG BARKING)
I just came over
to say that...

What's he doing?

Who, Jake?
He's after the cheese
in the mousetrap.

You came over
to say what?

That you've got to leave,
Michael. I promised
you'd go in the morning.

There was a quarrel
about it yesterday.
It's really serious.

We can't joke
about it anymore.
You've simply got to go.

(JAKE WHINING)

Hey, Jake. Jake.
Come here, you fool.
Jake.

Come here. Come here,
and let me take
your foot out.

(CHUCKLES)
Come here, Jake.
Come here. Oh, Jake.

(CHUCKLING)
Come here and let me
take your foot out.

Haven't you got any more
sense than to go stick
your foot in a mousetrap?

I don't think
it's broken
any. There.

Oh.

Shall we go on
with the meeting?

We're waiting for
the tea, Theodora.

Theodora.

Well, why don't you
ask me what you want to
know and get it over with?

Did I go out there
because I heard
the dog yipping?

Or did I go out
in the first place
to see the gardener?

MARY: The tea, Theodora.

You've all made up
your minds
about it anyhow,

so I may as well
tell you the truth.

I went out there
to see him.

To tell him that
I don't want him to go.

But he's got to go
because you want him to.

Theodora.
It doesn't matter
what I want.

You're telling me what's
good for me, what's proper,
what isn't proper.

You have been telling me
that since I was three years
old and I'm sick of it.

You've glared and scolded
and frightened me
all I'll stand for.

And now I'll tell
you something.

I'll tell you something
you'll never forget.

There's no law that
can put that gardener
off these premises.

And he's going
to stay right here.

This is a free country,
I said.

I'm over 21, and what
I choose to do is none
of Lynnfield's business.

I invite the whole town
to take a jump in the lake.

(LAUGHS) Swell.

That gardener's going
to stay here as long
as I want him to, I said.

And that's forever,
because I love him.

What's Lynnfield going
to do about that?
I love him. I always will.

And there's nobody
in this town who's
going to stop me.

Swell.

That's what I said,
Michael.

It was the truth.

Swell.

I was thrilled
to hear myself say it.

Right then I knew
I never could
have sent you away.

Well, when you finally
did let go, you certainly
rocked the world, didn't you?

I guess you and I
have a lot of things
to talk about.

Yes, I guess we have.
We'd better not
start tonight, though.

Are you proud of me,
Michael?

I'll tell the world,
baby.

Baby?

(GIGGLING)

And Uncle John said
nobody in Lynnfield
would ever call me baby.

(LAUGHING)

Good night, darling.

(KNOCK AT DOOR)

THEODORA: Michael. Michael.

(JAKE BARKING)

(ALARM RINGING)

What? What?

10:00, Mr. Grant.
10:00? Well, what of it?

You know I didn't
get to bed until 4:00.
Get out of here.

Your father telephone.
Say he be here at 10:00.

My father? Well,
why didn't you
wake me up?

I wake you,
but you don't wake.

Did you straighten up
the living room?
All fixed.

(DOORBELL BUZZING)

There he is now.
Always on the dot.
Let him in, Toki.

(DOG BARKING)

Hello.

Theodora.
Hello, Michael.

Hello, Jake.

Well, here, let's do
something about this.

Toki. Toki, take him out
in the kitchen and give him
a bone. Have you got a bone?

No bone,
but got nice lemon pie.

You forgot Jake.
I thought you'd want him.

Why, yes,
of course I want him.
Thanks very much.

And you want to know
why I left that note
and ran away.

Theodora, writing that note
was the most difficult thing
I ever did.

Oh, yes, the note.

I know you've got
an explanation coming.

I ran away, because...

Because I threw myself
at your head and
you were frightened.

No. Because I felt
the same way about you.

You didn't know that,
did you?

I didn't know it, either,
until that night.

Until you stood
there in my arms.

Then I knew I loved you.

If I'd had any idea
that it was ever going to
be as serious as this,

I never would have
gone to Lynnfield.

(INTERCOM BUZZING)
In view of my circumstances,

I had no right to go
playing at hearts with
a swell person like you.

What circumstances,
Michael?

Mr. Grant? Yes,
you can come right up.

There he is now.
Please, I'd rather
you didn't stay.

He can be a little difficult
about some things.

Be a good girl now,
run along to the Ritz

and I'll meet you there
at 1:00 for lunch.

The Ritz?
Where's the Ritz?

You mean to say
you don't know
where the Ritz is?

Well, now, if you came
to Lynnfield and I said

to meet me in Willoughby's
Meadow for berry-picking,

you'd be a little confused,
wouldn't you?

Theodora,
you're stalling.

Why, Michael Grant,
I'm not stalling.

Listen, do you know
what avenue you're on now?

No, I don't.
Tell me about it.

Well, you're on Park Avenue...
How'd you get here
if you didn't know?

Oh, homing instinct.
Like a pigeon.

Now, please listen, Theodora.
You go right down Park Avenue,

then you turn to the right
until you come to Madison.

(DOORBELL BUZZING)
Oh, never mind.
It's too late.

Will you please go
in another room or go
sit down some place?

I'll go sit down
some place.

Hello, Father.
Michael.

Hello.
Agnes.

Hello.
I wasn't expecting you.

You disappoint me,
Michael.

Running out of town
without telling your
family anything about it.

Where were you?

Who's this?

Miss Lynn from
the Stevenson Office.

She's brought material
for drawings
that I'm to make.

My father, Miss Lynn.

How do you do?
How do you do,
Mr. Grant?

How do you do?
How do you do?
I'm Mrs. Grant.

Oh, yes.
My wife, Miss Lynn.

Where did you say
you were?

In the country,
sketching.
Very pretty.

He will sketch.

Did you drift back
to town accidentally,

or did you remember that
I'm giving a reception for
the governor on the 20th?

Of course I remembered.

And of course
you'll be there
with Agnes.

With Agnes?
With Agnes.

Now, look here, Father,
this pretense of
a happy marriage

has gone on long enough.
It's been washed up
for five years,

and I'm sure Agnes
is just as sick of it
as I am.

If not sicker.

I thought it was agreed
there would be no divorce as
long as I held public office.

If Agnes is agreeable,
I don't know
what you're kicking about.

Yes, I appreciate...
You gave me your word.

And that's the way
it's going to be.

You owe that much to the name
of Grant. Especially after
your choice of a profession.

Now, you know
what's expected
of you, Michael.

Come, Agnes.

Good day, miss.
Oh, goodbye.

I can scarcely wait
for the governor's
reception, dear.

Toki, bring me
some coffee, black.
Got some nice lemon pie.

Well, it's all clear now,
isn't it?

You know something,
Michael? What you need
is an artist's model.

A what?
An artist's model.

Why, I haven't
the slightest use
for a model.

Well, the right one
might be a great
help to you.

I don't want a model.
Don't struggle, Michael,
you've got one.

Who?
Me.

What in heaven's name for?
What for?

Certainly what for?

Well, to mow the lawn,
transplant things,

a little plain and fancy
whistling, you know...

(LAUGHING)
Oh, I see.
It's a joke.

That's very funny.

You mean I did some
gardening for you
and so you're...

Yes, I'm going
to return the favor and do
a little modeling for you.

That's very funny.
You see,
you're living in a jail, too.

You can't call
your soul your own.
Oh, come now.

Why, it's true.
Why, you're a clear
sad case, my boy.

Tied to a woman
you don't love.

And so afraid of Papa
you can't do anything
about it.

Now, wait a minute.
If you are trying
to find any similarity

between your situation
and mine, oh, no, you
couldn't mean that, really.

Finally, your whole
outlook was wrong.
And yours?

Mine? Well, I'm simply
in a position where...

Well, I was brought up
with pride of family,
that's all,

to respect the old boy.

I see.
And you love me, Michael?

You know I do.
I meant every
word I said.

And when I'm free, darling,
the world is ours.

And when will the world
be ours, about?

Well, just give Pop
time to serve his term
as Lieutenant Governor.

He won't run for office again,
I'm sure. That means
that within two years...

Michael! Two years
for people of our age
is a lifetime.

Oh, no. It may seem
that way, Theodora...

Why, it's true. It's right.
Why, if you had any courage,

if your outlook were right,
why, you could...

My, how you need a model.

Here, wait a minute,
Theodora.

Will you please discuss
this with me like
a normal human being?

Well, just a moment, please.
What are you going to do?

Hello, those boxes and
things that were left
in the foyer downstairs.

Will you please send them
up to Mr. Michael Grant's
apartment?

(CHUCKLING)
What boxes?
What things?

Some new outfits
I just bought.
Wait till you see them.

I've got hats. They sit
on an angle like this,
I'm telling you.

And dresses,
I'm an open secret
down to there.

Where's your tool house?

Theodora, exactly
what do you think
you're going to do?

I'm just returning
a favor, darling.

How? By moving in here
and breaking a scandal
around my ears?

Oh, a scandal is all
in the life of a model.

Theodora,
either you're mad,
or you're fooling.

Listen to me.
I'm going to handle
this in my own way.

If it takes two years,
it'll take two years.

You're not going to force
a situation between me
and my father and Agnes

by moving into
this apartment.

Oh, I'm in. Oh, come in,
boys, come right in.
Come right in, boys.

Put them down
any place.
Any place at all.

My, my! I didn't...

Oh, it's nice of you
to come up. Would you
put it down there?

Oh, you're in, huh?

You're going to have
things your own way?
Well, we'll see about that.

Toki, Miss Lynn is in.
Pack up my things.
I'm out.

Why...

(INTERCOM BUZZING)

Yes?
SECRETARY: Miss Adams.
Miss Caroline Adams.

Yes, yes, of course.

(CHUCKLES)

How are you,
my dear?

Fine.

Your mouth's open,
Arthur.

Oh, I'm fine, too, thanks.
You might say, "In the pink."

You can tell that,
can't you?
It cost enough.

But I didn't come here
to have a friendly visit.

I came here
to have a fight.

I'm dissatisfied with
the treatment I'm getting
from my publisher.

I mean you.

In short, why don't I get
any publicity around here?

Why, my dear Miss Adams...
My dear Miss Adams.
My dear Miss Adams.

Yes, you sit there
and call me Miss Adams.

But who else knows
I'm Caroline Adams?
Nobody.

The widest-selling author
in the country and nobody
knows anything about me.

Has it never occurred to you
that the sale of my books

might jump enormously
if it were known

that I'm fairly young
and modern and
halfway respectable?

And if the facts
were broadcast about
my life in Lynnfield,

don't you realize
what a story
that would make?

Well...
No. No, obviously not.

It seems publishers don't
care anything about increasing
the sale of their books.

Well, authors do.
We've got to live. A thing
like this is darn expensive.

Now, I'll give you one more
chance, Mr. Stevenson
Publishing Company.

I want publicity.
I want a lot of it.

I want my picture on
every jacket of every
book of mine that's sold.

And I want the story
of Theodora Lynn and
Caroline Adams splattered

over every paper in
every town in the Union.

Will you come in,
please, Miss Baldwin?
And bring your book.

And, oh, one aspirin
for Mr. Stevenson.

Or shall we make it two?

(TAPPING)

Holy smoke!

Hello. Hello. Bertha.
Get me theBugle.
Hurry up.

Jed? Jed, listen.
Associated Press dispatch
toLynnfield Bugle.

Wait a minute, Clarence.
Yes. Yeah.

Yeah. No. Yeah.

Clarence, just a moment
until I catch my breath.

Boys, boys,
now don't get excited.
Take it easy, take it easy.

Yes, hello, Clarence.
Yes, go ahead. Yeah.

Yeah. No. No.

Yeah. Is that all?

Boys, do you remember
that type we used
when war was declared?

Dust it off, boys.
Dust it off. It's war. War,
I'm telling you, it's war.

Mary. Mary!

Mary!

(PEOPLE CHATTERING)

It's war! Civilization is
marching on Lynnfield.

Oh, Theodora, I thank you.
I thank you. I thank you.

On every front page
in New York she's giving
your address, your apartment.

How long before
they'll know
it's your apartment?

Call the police and
have her thrown out.

With all New York
looking on?

That will be nice publicity
for the governor's reception.

You're marvelous, Michael.
Here is a notorious woman.

Did you read what
she says about herself?

"Hidden away in a hamlet,
her soul enslaved."

A woman leading
a double life.
If not triple.

Yes. And you have to
go up in the country
and get in the middle of it.

He was sketching it.

If this gets out,
the governor
will have fits.

Not to mention
the disgrace to
the name of Grant.

You know, if this woman's
really out to break up
our marriage, Michael,

maybe you and I ought
to root for her.

You sit tight, Agnes,
and do as you're told.

That'll be splendid,
but let me say this.

If this woman really starts
after Michael and it's
talked about all over town

and I'm made to look
like a foolish
deceived wife,

I'll have to do something
to save my face.

And I'll most certainly
bring divorce action
against Michael immediately.

Did you hear that,
Michael?

Yes.

Pardon me.
Pardon me.

Pardon me.
Pardon me.

Pardon me.
Pardon me.

I beg your pardon.
I beg yours, sir.

THEODORA: I have this
to say to the modern
young girl, gentlemen,

be free, express yourself.
Take your life in your
own hands and mold it.

The world will try
to rob you
of your freedom,

but fight for it.

It's all you have
to live for.

WOMAN: Miss Adams.
MAN: Just relax.

That's all for the modern
girl, gentlemen. What else?
Ask me anything.

Have you started
a new book, Miss Adams?

Well, no, I haven't.
But I have it pretty
well in mind.

Well, would you care
to say something about it?

I'd love to. It's about
how love came to a girl in
a small New England town.

Outwardly, she seemed
to belong to that narrow
benighted little community,

but in her heart,
she longed to
be called baby.

Out of the great big city,
there came to
this little hamlet

the man who did
call her baby.

From there on, gentlemen,
the story warms up.

Oh, Miss Adams.
Just relax, sister.

I haven't quite finished
it yet, but I guarantee it
for interest,

if you know
what I mean.

Would that be the story
of your life, Miss Adams?

Oh, well,
I shouldn't wonder.
And who would the man be?

THEODORA: The man? Oh, now,
come now, gentlemen. A lady
is entitled to one secret.

Miss Adams.
Just relax,
and by the way, Miss Adams,

is this Michael Grant's
apartment?

Michael Grant, did you...

Well, yes, this is
Michael Grant's apartment.
I was just getting to that.

It's a very interesting
story, gentlemen.

(DOOR SLAMS)

Uncle John,
Uncle John,
come in.

Mr. John Lynn,
the gentlemen
of the press.

Uncle limps
a little with the gout.
Brought it on himself.

The only Lynn I'm proud of.

(REPORTERS CHATTERING)

Theodora, may I have
a word in private with you?

Oh, certainly.
I'm afraid that's all
for today, gentlemen.

But what about Grant
and this apartment?

You were going to tell us
the story about that.

Has Grant anything to do
with the big bad man from
the city who called you baby?

Well, now,
couldn't we save
that until tomorrow?

But don't be far off,
will you?

(REPORTERS CHATTERING)

Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye.

Now, if you please,
Miss Adams.

Didn't you hear me say
that I wanted to have
a private word with my niece?

I beg your pardon.
I beg yours.

How's tricks, Uncle?

Come on, snooksie.
Get up. Go on,
run along, boy. Sit down.

Theodora, you're terrific.

It's just about what
you'd planned for me,
isn't it, darling?

You exceed my wildest hopes.
Do you know what
your aunts wired?

Those two delightful
old relics? No. What?

"Theodora's gone wild."

Tut, tut,
I haven't started.

Now just tell me this.

Is everything all right?

Fine.

Feet on the ground?
Both feet.

I knew it.
A Lynn may go wild,
but never silly.

Now, do you mind telling
your nosey old uncle

what made all this happen?

What makes the world
go round, darling?

Say no more. I think
I just saw the rascal.

That's the guy that banged
the door on the way out.

Oh, he'll come back.
How's Adelaide?

It's about time
to send her
up to that home.

Oh, then she's
going this week.

And I'm going to tell
that funny little
old husband of hers

that he's going
to be a papa.

Good.

Now, how about us going out
and painting the town red?

I'm ready and raring to go.
When do we start?

That's the next thing
on the program.

It's true that at present
Miss Adams is residing
in my apartment.

But in case you're
tempted to publish
any conclusion

regarding my relationship
with Miss Adams,
let me warn you...

Please be advised.

Please be advised that I have
never had the pleasure of
meeting the lady.

Having never been
in Lynnfield in my life.

I think that's smart
in case they try to
tie me up with that

"man who came and called
her baby" story.
Very good.

And furthermore, the only
thing I have in common
with Miss Adams

is our friendship with
Mr. Arthur Stevenson.

During a recent fishing trip,
Mr. Stevenson wired me
and asked

if Miss Adams could have
the use of my apartment
while she was in New York.

I was more than glad
to accommodate.

Paragraph. The above facts
can be verified by telephoning
Mr. Arthur Stevenson.

All right, Miss Baldwin.
Get that out to the papers

and all the news services
as fast as you can.

Yes, sir.

I could kill that woman
with my two bare hands.

(LAUGHING)

Excuse my laughing,
Michael.

I know this is very
tragic to you and
your magnificent family.

But it's awfully
funny to me.

What's awfully funny?
Yes, what's
so funny about it?

Why, here's this carefree
rollicking spirit who's
been going around for years

sticking his nose in
everybody's business

and now he's finally
got it caught
in a meat grinder.

Yeah. Very funny.

See that your nose doesn't
get caught in it, my pet.

Who, me? Why,
what are you
talking about?

It's all perfectly
clear to me.

That adorable young thing is
an unholy terror on wheels.

There's nothing in the world
more deadly than innocence
on the manhunt.

Why, sweetheart,
you don't think
for one minute...

No, I'm telling you, my love.
You get on guard
and stay on guard.

On account of little Ethie
won't stand for any fancy
steps from her ducky-wucky.

(LAUGHING)

(PHONE RINGING)
You get funnier by
the minute, darling.

(LAUGHING)

Hello.
Hello, Arthur angel.

I've got full steam up
and you're my only
hope for the evening.

Uncle caved in
and Michael is off
moping somewhere.

Hello, Mr. Green.

There's someone there.
That's right, dear,
don't give us away.

Shall we say
7:30 for dinner?

(CLEARS THROAT) Why, I haven't
had a chance to read that
contract yet, Mr. Green.

I'm afraid I couldn't
discuss it with you
tonight.

Well, I might suggest
tomorrow sometime
during the day.

Oh, but it's got to
be tonight, sugarfoot.

Because otherwise
I'll find myself
another publisher

and then you might
lose your very
best little writer.

Yes, yes, goodbye,
Mr. Green.

Yes. That was Mr. Green.

(CLEARS THROAT)

(SLURRING) Theo, you wouldn't
leave me and go to another
publisher, would you?

No. No, Arthur.
No, I wouldn't dream of it.
I wouldn't leave you. Come on.

Here's your house.
No, this is your house.

No, it's your house.
But I want to see that you
get upstairs all right.

Can I help you, lady?
No, I think I can
manage somehow.

Say, you can't take her away
from me. I'm a better
publisher than you are.

I don't know
what you're talking
about, mister.

If you'll just put your arm
around my shoulder
and lean on me.

That's right.
Don't dream of it.

If some other publisher
comes to you and tries
to take you away from me,

makes you a big offer,
you just come to me.
I'll do better, see?

Yes, I will. I will.

If you leave me, Theo,
the House of Stevenson
would just fall to pieces.

Arthur, I wouldn't.
You can't leave me, Theo.

You gotta reconsider.

That's the thanks I get.
I discover you,

I make you famous,
you leave me flat.

(GROANS)

I'll stay with you
forever, Arthur.

I know. The old knife
in the back stuff.

Listen, listen, how much
did he offer you?
I'll double it. Tell me?

Tomorrow. Tomorrow.
Where's your key, Arthur?

Where's your key, Arthur?
Where's your key?

Oh, this is...
Is this it? 805?

No. 805.
(WHISPERING)
All right, all right.

Now, look. You let me
get to the elevator,
then you press the bell.

Okay.

Good night, Arthur.
No, Theo,
you can't do that to me.

You've gotta
stay with me.
No, no.

No. Listen, Theo,
ask me whatever
you want and it's yours,

only don't leave me.

Oh, good evening.

Oh, hello, Ethie. Hi.

Cheese and crackers.

I got it, Clarence.
I got it.

Sam. Henry.
Clear the whole front page.

Okay, Clarence, I got it.

(LAUGHING)

"Theodora named
in divorce action."

Disgusting.

"Theodora, the other woman,
in suit brought
by wife of publisher."

"Charges misconduct

"between Theodora Lynn
and publisher
of Adams' books."

Her publisher.

Did you see this
brazen picture of her?

Lynnfield's daughter
is burning up the big town.

Small-town girl
in big-time scandal.

How long is this
kind of sinfulness
going to make up

the principal reading
matter for our children
and the whole community?

How long?
WOMAN: Yes, how long?

Ask Theodora.

If you aren't satisfied with
the answer, stop Jed
Waterbury from printing it.

But you wouldn't do that,
because this community
is too all-fired nosey.

You couldn't stand
not knowing
what's going on.

It's making us just
a little sick of Lynnfield.

As long as I can remember,
this town's always
wanted to know

what's cooking
in the Lynn pot.

I think that's
about all, Rebecca.

Well, I hope you're satisfied.
You've blasted Ethel's life
to bits.

Don't be silly,
sweetheart.
Ethel understands.

She telephoned this morning
and said the divorce action
would be withdrawn.

Come on in,
and make yourself at home.
No, Theodora.

Do you realize that you're
getting yourself the worst
possible kind of a reputation?

Oh, then you
do care, Michael?

Stay right where
you are. Go on.

Keep your hands busy.
Keep on playing the piano.

Theodora, listen to me, if you
make any scandal before
the governor's reception...

Theodora,
please get out of town
until that reception's over.

That's all I ask of you.
If you do, I'll do anything.

I'll come up to Lynnfield
and talk to you within
a month,

only please get out.
You're making
my life miserable.

That's the struggle
that's going on
within you, Michael.

But don't you worry.
The light breaks suddenly.

And then you'll rise up
and tell Papa
what I told Lynnfield.

And then you'll be
so happy.

I'll be happy when I'm darn
good and ready to be happy

and not a minute sooner.

Michael. Michael.
Stay right where you are.

All right, Michael,
look at me.

Tell me, do we still
have to wait two years?

Theodora, why can't you
be just a little reasonable?

(DOORBELL BUZZING)

Who's that?
I don't know.

Oh, yes, the reporters.
The reporters?

Yes. Come on, Michael.
Now is your chance to make
a declaration of independence.

And tell them all
about us right now.

Never. If you tell them
my name...
REPORTER 1: Is Miss Adams in?

REPORTER 2: Hello.
How are you, Miss Adams?
Hello.

Who's this?

The name's Brown, you snoops.
Montmorency Brown. Undertaker.

His Excellency,
Governor Wyatt,
and Mrs. Wyatt.

MAN: Good evening,
Mrs. Wyatt.
How do you do?

(PEOPLE CHATTERING)

How are you, Michael?
MRS. GRANT:
Good evening, Governor.

How do you do,
Michael?
Governor.

Still painting, eh?
I'm afraid so.

Pity he isn't a statesman
isn't it, Governor?

Painter? Statesman?
Same thing. Get your
hands dirty at both.

Seems to me Michael Grant
figured in the papers
lately somehow.

I can't for the life of me
recall the incident.

Oh, you don't mean in
the story about that terrible
woman, do you, Mrs. Wyatt?

Yes, that's it.
Didn't she have
your apartment?

What woman's that?
Oh, some awful
woman novelist.

With quite a private
reputation, Governor.

Well, well.

Of course, I've never
had the pleasure
of meeting the lady.

You see, while I was
on a fishing trip,

I received a wire from
Mr. Arthur Stevenson,
my publisher,

asking if she could have
the use of my apartment
during her visit to New York.

Of course,
I was more than glad
to accommodate.

And then, well,
you know the newspapers.

I hope steps were taken
to clear this up, Jonathan.

Certainly, Stephen,
certainly.

Your father and I have been
very careful to keep this
administration clean, my boy.

Yes, yes,
I'm sure of that, sir.

May I have this dance,
Mrs. Wyatt?
Oh, delighted.

Oh, Stephen,
may I remind you

that there are 100 women
just palpitating
to dance with you?

(CHUCKLING)
Well, if I must,
I must. Shall we?

Thank you.

Very starchy party.

Well, I guess now
we start following
glad-hand Steve around

and recording
the governor's
moments of play.

Boys will be boys.

Couldn't you smile just once
for the sake of appearance?

Charming.

Suppose you try it.

Angelic.

Isn't this a lovely party,
Jonathan?

Oh, you dance divinely,
Governor.

Thank you, Miss...
Adams.

It can't be.
And she snagged
the governor.

You're a splendid dancer,
too, Miss Adams.

Oh, Governor.
Yes, indeed.

(BOTH CHUCKLING)

Pardon me, Governor.
Do you mind, Governor?
Smile. Thank you.

PHOTOGRAPHER 1: Thanks.

Pardon me, please. Hold it.
PHOTOGRAPHER:
Thank you, Governor.

Thank you. Thank you.

Charming, Governor,
perfectly charming.

Why, thank you,
thank you.

Tell me quick,
is that the woman?
In person.

This is terrible.

Michael, in five minutes,
everybody in this house
will know who she is.

They've already got
a picture of her
with the governor.

I'll take care of that.
You see that she gets out
of this house.

Take her out into the garden
or on the terrace, anywhere,

and keep her there
for the rest
of the evening.

Hush, Jonathan.

Well, well.
A delightful party.

I have just had
the most fascinating dance.

Allow me to present Miss...

Adams.
Yes, yes, Miss Adams.

Mr. and Mrs. Jonathan Grant.

How do you do?

How do you do?

How do you do?
And the Michael Grants.

How do you do?
So nice, Miss Adams.

How do you do?
It is a delightful party,
isn't it?

I don't know when
I've enjoyed
myself so much.

And the governor
dances divinely.

(LAUGHS) Thank you.
Thank you.

Give me a charming lady
to dance with and,
well, I'm young again.

(BOTH LAUGHING)

Well, there we are again,
Miss Adams.

May I have the pleasure
of this dance, Miss Adams?

Young blood trying to force
an old boy on the sidelines?

You may not have this dance,
my boy. It's mine.

Miss Adams is my discovery
and I am going to keep her.

(LAUGHS)

Keep an eye out
for my wife, please.

Well?
Leave it to me.

Oh, I'm sorry.
Oh, it's quite all right.
Quite all right.

Governor,
you are very cruel.
How so?

Well, I'm simply expiring
to dance with you and you've
no use for me whatever.

The next one
is yours, my dear.

Well, I'm afraid
I can't wait, Governor.
Would you mind very much?

Well, naturally I would,
but then of course
I know just how you feel.

Oh, thank you.

Do you remember
this tune, Mr. Grant?

Shall I sing it
and you whistle?

If you so much as
open your mouth...
How did you get in here?

Well, now, if that isn't
the funniest thing.
You know, I said to myself,

"I bet Michael is going
to ask me how I got in here."

How did you get in here?

Michael, dear,
this is hardly the place.

Will you tell me?

Well, the Stevensons
had invitations
and decided not to come.

So I just said to myself...
Come on out here.

That's my elbow.
It's too bad
it isn't your neck.

REPORTER:
Would you mind, Mr. Grant?
No, no.

I'd be delighted.
Is this all right?

I'm sorry.
I've just met the lady

with whom I've been
connected so much
in the papers

and I'd like to
make her acquaintance.

I'd also like the privacy
of the garden for a few
moments, if you don't mind.

Go right ahead.
It's your garden.
Go ahead.

Don't catch cold.

You're here
to start something.
What are you here to do?

Do?
Don't tell me.

Wherever you are
these days,
something happens.

Why, Michael.

Now listen to me,
Theodora, if you cause
any scandal here tonight,

I'll never speak to you
again in this lifetime.

That also goes if you
aren't out of this
house in two minutes.

It also goes if you aren't out
of my apartment and outside
of New York in two days.

Is that clear?

Do you mean
all that big speech?
I mean every word of it.

That I'm to go back
to Lynnfield?

To Lynnfield.

And wait?
And wait.

(SOBBING) Then this is
goodbye, Michael?

Yes, but there's no
need to go to pieces,
especially here.

Oh, I'm all right.
I'll go. I'll go back.

But I would like
to have something
to remember you by.

Sure. Sure, anything.

A kiss?

Not here. When I see you off,
I'll come down to the train.

But you won't.
You'll be afraid.
No. Yes, I will.

Well, you won't.
But I will.

REPORTER:
Thank you,
Miss Adams.

Why, you lowlife sneaks.
You dirty, double-crossing...

If you print that picture,
I'll break your necks.

If you print that picture,
I'll skin you alive.

I'll track you down to the...

And as for you,
if I ever said I loved you...

What's going on here?

The notorious Caroline Adams,
novelist, in the arms
of my husband.

Who?
Yes, that's right.
Isn't that nice?

Jed, this is hot.

"Mrs. Michael Grant sues
for divorce, branding
Caroline Adams love thief."

Henry, we use
the red ink on this one.

Oh, boy, oh, boy,
oh, boy, oh, boy,
oh, boy, oh, boy.

Yes, siree.
Hot diggety dog.

Two in a row.

Pride of Lynnfield.

The brazen hussy.

I only hope that Mary
and Elsie are bearing up.
That's all I hope.

ALL: ♪ Christ,
the royal Master

♪ Leads against the foe

♪ Forward into battle

MAN: ♪ See his banners...

♪ Onward Christian soldier

♪ Marching as to war... ♪

Jed. Jed.

Shoot. What now?

Associated dispatch.
"Caroline Adams vanishes."

What? You don't mean it.

Rebecca.
WOMEN: Rebecca.

ALL: No trace of Lynnfield's
famous daughter
in seven days.

John, stop
your gabbing, John.

Do you know where
Theodora is
or don't you?

Why, I'm surprised you
even bother
about Theodora.

After all her
scandalous behavior.

What's so scandalous
about it?

Fine time for a wild
old buzzard like you to
turn moral. Hypocrite.

The old skate.

Elsie, where do you
suppose she is?

Have you seen the baby?

Yes, he's a whopper.
A face like a full moon.

Thanks for coming up,
Theodora.

Oh, don't be silly.
I had nothing else to do.

I brought someone with me.

He's standing right
outside the door.

Your baby's papa.
Roger.

Go on, stupid. Go on.

Lynn, Miss Lynn.

"Plan to arrive Saturday
on the 10:15. Love."

What do you know
about that?

Well,
who's it from, idiot?

Theodora. Theodora.

Clarence, this is
a private telegram.

Don't go spreading it
to the whole of Lynnfield.

Me? Why, I'm surprised
at you, Mary Lynn.

Oh, we'll welcome her,
all right.

I for one am going
to stay right indoors
and pull down my blinds.

And when she finds herself
coming into an empty depot,

I hope she'll understand
she isn't wanted in Lynnfield.

We have the solemn word
of every man, woman
and child in Lynnfield

that nobody will set
foot in the direction
of that depot.

(PEOPLE CHATTERING)

(WOMEN CHEERING)

How are you, Harry?
Hello, Eddie. Great day.

The decorations are nice,
don't you think, Mary?

Only there ain't
enough of them.

How are you,
Elsie Lynn, Mary Lynn?
How are the two oracles?

(LAUGHS)
Let me shake
hands with you.

Nice day, Jed.
JED: Greatest day
in the world, Mary.

Great day for Lynnfield.
Great day for Lynnfield.

Quite a turnout, eh?

You know, I always knew
Theodora had it in her.

(ALL CHATTERING)

(GIGGLES)

How do you do? How do you do?
How do you do? How do you do?

Well, I got to thinking
it might be better to come
and just stare at her.

Till she drops through
the ground for shame.

Well, look who's here.
Lynnfield's Literary Circle.

(WOMEN CLAMORING)

Jed, Jed Waterbury,
who brought this band here?

I did, Rebecca Perry.
Now you get a lawyer
and try to stop me

from spending
my own money
any way I like.

(LAUGHS)

(TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING)

(ALL CHEERING)

Here she comes, lads,
here she comes. On your toes.
On your toes. Now watch me.

(BELL RINGING)

Let 'er go!

(BAND PLAYING)

(ALL CHEERING LOUDLY)

Welcome home,
Theodora.
Welcome home.

(ALL EXCLAIMING)

(BAND PLAYING OFF-KEY)

Suffering cats.

(PEOPLE MURMURING)

Where did she get it,
Grandma?

You go home
and stay home.

(TRUMPETING)

On your toes,
me lads,
on your toes.

(BAND PLAYING)

You'd think
they'd never seen
a baby in their lives.

So help me Hannah.
This town gets more
narrow-minded every day.

He is darling,
isn't he,
Aunt Mary?

It's all right,
Adelaide.
Are you sure?

Sure. Nobody will see us.

MICHAEL: Oh, so you're bored,
sissy?

Well, snap out of it!
She'll be here in a minute.

Come on.
Come on, get up here.

Get up here and let's
rehearse our speech.

Now listen, you're Theodora
and I'm Michael.
Theodora, darling.

Theodora, darling,
I am free and I thank you.

(ALL CHATTERING)

I've never met
so many people
in all my life.

Theodora, we are free...

Michael. Michael.

(LAUGHS) Michael.

Michael, wait a minute.

MARY: No, you don't.
Shut the door.
Michael!

Michael, what's
the matter with you?

Michael. Michael. Michael.

How can you be so...
Michael!

How do you expect me
to be when I come back
and find something like that?

Wait a minute.
Don't say "Michael."

Talk about cutting loose.

MICHAEL:
You certainly cut loose
when you got to New York.

Let me out of here,
will you, please?

Michael, it isn't mine,
you stupid.
Oh, no?

(SCREAMS)
No. It's Adelaide Perry's.

It's yours, Grandma.

Rebecca.

Michael, you idiot.