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1
00:00:08,759 --> 00:00:09,986
♪ I'm goin' down to South Park ♪
2
00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:11,922
♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪
3
00:00:12,095 --> 00:00:13,631
♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
4
00:00:13,805 --> 00:00:15,592
♪ Humble folks
without temptation ♪
5
00:00:15,766 --> 00:00:18,600
♪ I'm goin' down to South Park,
gonna leave my woes behind ♪
6
00:00:18,769 --> 00:00:20,385
♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
7
00:00:20,562 --> 00:00:22,178
♪ People spouting,
"Howdy, neighbor" ♪
8
00:00:22,356 --> 00:00:25,224
♪ Headin' on up to South Park,
gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
9
00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:27,120
♪ Murpph mmmph mmph
mmmph mrrr mff mrmmph! ♪
10
00:00:27,152 --> 00:00:28,838
♪ Murpph mmmph mmph mmmph
mrrr mff mrmmph! ♪
11
00:00:28,862 --> 00:00:31,650
♪ Come on down to South Park,
and meet some friends of mine ♪
12
00:00:45,546 --> 00:00:47,663
Yeeeah!
You got it, Ned!
13
00:00:47,839 --> 00:00:49,796
That was a nice shot!
14
00:00:49,967 --> 00:00:51,959
Thanks.
I thought so, too.
15
00:00:52,135 --> 00:00:55,219
Come on,
let's see what we got.
16
00:00:55,389 --> 00:00:57,221
Huh. Looks like you
shot the shit out of it.
17
00:00:57,391 --> 00:00:59,508
There's nothin' left.
18
00:00:59,685 --> 00:01:01,677
Hey.
Lookie here.
19
00:01:01,853 --> 00:01:04,971
Jesus. You ever seen
animal tracks that big?
20
00:01:05,148 --> 00:01:07,982
No, I have not, Jimbo.
21
00:01:08,151 --> 00:01:11,394
Looks like a bear.
A huge one!
22
00:01:11,572 --> 00:01:13,564
Come on,
the tracks go this way.
23
00:01:15,409 --> 00:01:18,243
Look at that.
Looks like bear droppings.
24
00:01:18,412 --> 00:01:20,995
But with a man poop
right next to it.
25
00:01:21,164 --> 00:01:22,871
I'm scared.
26
00:01:24,918 --> 00:01:27,456
What the hell are we
dealing with, Ned?
27
00:01:27,629 --> 00:01:29,996
Whatever it is,
it was here recently.
28
00:01:30,173 --> 00:01:31,414
Hey!
29
00:01:31,592 --> 00:01:34,175
What the hell are you guys
doing on my farm?
30
00:01:34,344 --> 00:01:36,552
We're trackin' a bear,
Randy.
31
00:01:36,722 --> 00:01:37,722
A bear?
32
00:01:40,350 --> 00:01:42,808
That didn't sound
like no bear.
33
00:01:42,978 --> 00:01:44,560
Where you goin', Ned?
34
00:01:44,730 --> 00:01:47,814
I'm getting
my white ass outta here.
35
00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:53,561
What the fuck?!
36
00:01:53,739 --> 00:01:54,946
Jesus Christ!
37
00:01:55,949 --> 00:01:57,406
Ahghgghghgh!
38
00:01:59,369 --> 00:02:02,407
Helllllllp meeeeee!
39
00:02:08,795 --> 00:02:09,911
Neddddddd!
40
00:02:12,883 --> 00:02:15,876
All right, we have some dead
cows down at Milner's Ranch.
41
00:02:16,053 --> 00:02:18,386
I want Conners and Tiggs
to check that out.
42
00:02:18,555 --> 00:02:20,387
And the two hikers
are still missing.
43
00:02:20,557 --> 00:02:22,557
Let's have all units keep
their ears to the ground.
44
00:02:22,726 --> 00:02:25,139
All right, ladies, that's it.
Second shift starts now.
45
00:02:25,312 --> 00:02:27,395
As for me,
I'm finally heading home.
46
00:02:27,564 --> 00:02:29,681
Gonna finally get
some R&R, sir?
47
00:02:29,858 --> 00:02:32,851
Yup. Gonna go home and play me
some "Red Dead Redemption 2."
48
00:02:33,028 --> 00:02:34,690
I got a train to rob
in Valentine.
49
00:02:34,863 --> 00:02:36,024
Detective?!
50
00:02:36,198 --> 00:02:37,689
Got a call
from the school.
51
00:02:37,866 --> 00:02:39,277
Another kid's
been killed.
52
00:02:39,451 --> 00:02:41,568
No, no, not another
school shooting.
53
00:02:41,745 --> 00:02:42,986
Can't they handle it
themselves?
54
00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:44,654
Said they need us
right away.
55
00:02:44,831 --> 00:02:46,697
God damn it.
56
00:02:46,875 --> 00:02:49,993
Why the hell can't these kids
stop being a pain in my ass?
57
00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:57,508
Children, everyone
just stay back, okay?
58
00:02:57,678 --> 00:02:59,044
The police are coming.
59
00:02:59,221 --> 00:03:01,588
All right, what happened?
What grade was the shooter in?
60
00:03:01,765 --> 00:03:02,765
Oh, thank God.
61
00:03:02,849 --> 00:03:04,385
Some kindergartners
found the body.
62
00:03:04,559 --> 00:03:05,925
I-I don't think
it was a shooting.
63
00:03:06,103 --> 00:03:07,246
Of course
it's a school shooting.
64
00:03:07,270 --> 00:03:08,602
It's cut and dry.
65
00:03:08,772 --> 00:03:10,333
Let's just get this over with
so I can go home.
66
00:03:10,357 --> 00:03:11,357
Where's the victim?
67
00:03:11,441 --> 00:03:12,272
Over there.
68
00:03:14,319 --> 00:03:15,526
What the hell?
69
00:03:15,696 --> 00:03:18,655
Jesus,
it's a complete mauling.
70
00:03:18,824 --> 00:03:21,988
Looks like part of him
was eaten.
71
00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:24,652
All right, which one of you
little shitheads did this?
72
00:03:24,830 --> 00:03:28,198
Come on! I don't have time
for these little games.
73
00:03:28,375 --> 00:03:30,162
Which one of you peckers
felt isolated
74
00:03:30,335 --> 00:03:31,746
and lashed out
at society?
75
00:03:31,920 --> 00:03:34,287
If I have to stay here
and do an investigation
76
00:03:34,464 --> 00:03:36,171
instead of go home
and rob a train,
77
00:03:36,341 --> 00:03:38,708
there's gonna be
serious hell to pay!
78
00:03:40,512 --> 00:03:42,469
So, what was he doing
alone on the playground?
79
00:03:42,639 --> 00:03:44,367
Staci Nakabe says
he just wanted to run back out
80
00:03:44,391 --> 00:03:45,097
and get his football.
81
00:03:45,267 --> 00:03:46,929
Mrph rmhmhm rm!
82
00:03:47,102 --> 00:03:48,622
And there were bear prints
in the snow?
83
00:03:48,687 --> 00:03:50,724
It wasn't a bear.
84
00:03:50,897 --> 00:03:53,014
I saw it.
85
00:03:53,191 --> 00:03:54,978
You saw what?
86
00:03:55,152 --> 00:03:56,939
It was at my house.
87
00:03:57,112 --> 00:03:58,728
There was a... thing.
88
00:03:58,905 --> 00:04:01,238
It attacked my uncle
and took his friend.
89
00:04:01,408 --> 00:04:06,620
It was like a bear,
but a pig... thing.
90
00:04:06,788 --> 00:04:08,074
Jesus.
91
00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:11,286
It was at my house
and then here at the school!
92
00:04:11,460 --> 00:04:12,895
Everyone says
that kid and I look alike.
93
00:04:12,919 --> 00:04:14,126
What if that thing
is after me?
94
00:04:14,296 --> 00:04:15,912
Dude, now you're just
overreacting.
95
00:04:16,089 --> 00:04:16,920
Attention, please.
96
00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:18,170
Will the following students
97
00:04:18,216 --> 00:04:19,548
report to
the principal's office.
98
00:04:19,718 --> 00:04:21,801
Eric Cartman.
Kenny McCormick.
99
00:04:21,970 --> 00:04:23,427
Thank you, m'kay.
100
00:04:23,597 --> 00:04:25,805
Aw, what did I do
this time?
101
00:04:29,019 --> 00:04:30,019
You go first, Kenny.
102
00:04:30,187 --> 00:04:31,303
Mrph rmhmhm rm!
103
00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:32,766
I didn't even
do anything wrong!
104
00:04:32,939 --> 00:04:33,939
Mrph rmhmhm rm!
105
00:04:34,065 --> 00:04:35,556
Just stop being a baby, Kenny,
and go.
106
00:04:38,153 --> 00:04:40,236
Take a seat boys.
Right there.
107
00:04:48,079 --> 00:04:50,287
You know how shitty it is
to be a cop?
108
00:04:50,457 --> 00:04:52,870
There's real emergencies
every day...
109
00:04:53,043 --> 00:04:55,080
real people
who need real help...
110
00:04:55,253 --> 00:04:57,336
but then, every other minute,
I gotta stop everything
111
00:04:57,506 --> 00:04:58,775
'cause one of you
little fuckwads
112
00:04:58,799 --> 00:05:00,381
decides to go
and shoot up the school.
113
00:05:00,550 --> 00:05:03,008
Mrph rmhmhm rm!
114
00:05:03,178 --> 00:05:06,967
Shut up! Now, which one of you
had a beef with Colin Brooks?
115
00:05:07,140 --> 00:05:08,847
Nobody gives a shit
about Colin Brooks.
116
00:05:09,017 --> 00:05:11,350
Oh, yeah? I asked
the kids in this school,
117
00:05:11,520 --> 00:05:13,136
"Who are the biggest loners?
118
00:05:13,313 --> 00:05:15,594
Who's most likely to rage
and be the next school shooter?"
119
00:05:15,732 --> 00:05:17,098
You know what they said?
120
00:05:17,275 --> 00:05:19,983
The fat, ugly, mean kid and
the detached, loner, poor kid.
121
00:05:20,153 --> 00:05:21,394
Hey, I'm not poor,
all right?
122
00:05:21,571 --> 00:05:24,359
Or was it both of you?
Fess up.
123
00:05:24,533 --> 00:05:26,069
I have people
in Horseshoe Overlook
124
00:05:26,243 --> 00:05:28,155
who are depending on me
to get provisions
125
00:05:28,328 --> 00:05:29,614
so we can head
back east.
126
00:05:29,788 --> 00:05:31,780
You're playing
"Red Dead Redemption 2"?
127
00:05:31,957 --> 00:05:33,164
That's right.
128
00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:35,450
And I'm gonna make
both of you school shooters pay
129
00:05:35,627 --> 00:05:37,038
for wasting my time.
130
00:05:40,632 --> 00:05:42,089
Keep looking.
There's a lot of people
131
00:05:42,259 --> 00:05:42,840
saying they saw it,
Kyle.
132
00:05:43,009 --> 00:05:44,295
It's not just me.
133
00:05:44,469 --> 00:05:46,426
"Evidence of the creature
of South Park."
134
00:05:46,596 --> 00:05:48,178
This is like
a conspiracy website.
135
00:05:48,348 --> 00:05:49,714
It's not a conspiracy,
it's real.
136
00:05:49,891 --> 00:05:51,302
Keep going down.
There's video.
137
00:05:52,853 --> 00:05:53,853
There!
Right there!
138
00:05:57,774 --> 00:05:58,935
That's it.
139
00:05:59,109 --> 00:06:00,941
That's was I saw.
140
00:06:01,111 --> 00:06:03,194
I saw ManBearPig.
141
00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:04,854
ManBearPig?
142
00:06:05,031 --> 00:06:07,444
Don't you remember, dude?
We were warned about this.
143
00:06:07,617 --> 00:06:09,904
That weirdo guy who came
and told us this would happen?
144
00:06:10,078 --> 00:06:11,910
He was right.
145
00:06:12,080 --> 00:06:13,287
You guys!
You guys!
146
00:06:13,456 --> 00:06:14,617
The police
are trying to say
147
00:06:14,791 --> 00:06:16,269
me and Kenny killed
that douchebag Colin Brooks!
148
00:06:16,293 --> 00:06:17,293
What?
149
00:06:17,460 --> 00:06:18,826
They questioned us
for hours.
150
00:06:19,004 --> 00:06:20,815
They said they have enough
to get warrants for our arrest.
151
00:06:20,839 --> 00:06:22,501
But it wasn't
you guys.
152
00:06:22,674 --> 00:06:25,132
We know that!
What the hell are we gonna do?!
153
00:06:25,302 --> 00:06:26,404
Who was
that ex-president guy?
154
00:06:26,428 --> 00:06:27,714
The one
who showed up
155
00:06:27,888 --> 00:06:29,448
and tried to convince everyone
of a ManBearPig?
156
00:06:29,472 --> 00:06:30,758
Mrph rmhmhm rm?
157
00:06:30,932 --> 00:06:34,300
Al Gore.
158
00:06:34,477 --> 00:06:37,515
In my report, you'll see that
Eric Cartman and Kenny McCormick
159
00:06:37,689 --> 00:06:39,555
are believed to have
worked together.
160
00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:41,269
I've issued warrants
for their arrests,
161
00:06:41,443 --> 00:06:44,151
and this case is now
in the hands of the DA.
162
00:06:44,321 --> 00:06:46,688
And I am finally going home.
163
00:06:46,865 --> 00:06:48,885
Keep McCormick and Cartman
in separate holding cells,
164
00:06:48,909 --> 00:06:50,571
and don't wait on me
to book 'em.
165
00:06:50,744 --> 00:06:53,908
I'm gonna be playing "Red Dead
Redemption" for the next 18 hours.
166
00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:54,866
Detective!
167
00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:56,076
Whattt?!
168
00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:57,249
There's more dead kids.
169
00:06:57,417 --> 00:06:59,283
Out in the woods
by Stark's Pond.
170
00:06:59,461 --> 00:07:01,498
In the woods?
171
00:07:01,671 --> 00:07:03,458
There was a school shooting
out in the woods?
172
00:07:03,632 --> 00:07:05,339
Outside of school
is the one place
173
00:07:05,508 --> 00:07:06,749
kids are supposed
to be safe.
174
00:07:06,927 --> 00:07:08,509
They're saying
it's really bad, sir.
175
00:07:08,678 --> 00:07:09,678
Need all units.
176
00:07:09,804 --> 00:07:11,841
God damn it.
177
00:07:12,015 --> 00:07:13,618
If these kids don't stop
killing each other,
178
00:07:13,642 --> 00:07:15,508
I'm gonna shoot 'em all
myself.
179
00:07:24,319 --> 00:07:28,154
Hello, uh, we're looking for a
government sort of guy named Al Gore?
180
00:07:28,323 --> 00:07:30,565
Al Gore...?
Al Gore...?
181
00:07:30,742 --> 00:07:32,404
Sounds familiar.
182
00:07:32,577 --> 00:07:34,660
He said he was
almost president once.
183
00:07:34,829 --> 00:07:36,223
He came to our town
to warn us about something,
184
00:07:36,247 --> 00:07:37,078
and we have
to find him.
185
00:07:37,248 --> 00:07:39,581
Oh, yeah.
186
00:07:39,751 --> 00:07:42,084
This looks
like Jim Turner.
187
00:07:42,253 --> 00:07:43,619
Mrph rmhmhm?
188
00:07:43,797 --> 00:07:45,789
The state bowling champion
five years in a row.
189
00:07:45,966 --> 00:07:47,326
You can always
catch him practicing
190
00:07:47,425 --> 00:07:48,791
down at Gramercy Lanes.
191
00:07:54,724 --> 00:07:56,135
Focus.
192
00:07:56,309 --> 00:07:58,801
Calm.
Center.
193
00:08:05,110 --> 00:08:06,226
Yes!
Die!
194
00:08:06,403 --> 00:08:07,860
Die, you pins!
195
00:08:08,029 --> 00:08:10,191
Oh, we've got a straggler,
do we?
196
00:08:10,365 --> 00:08:12,778
You're gonna die
just like the rest of 'em.
197
00:08:12,951 --> 00:08:13,782
Mr. Gore?
198
00:08:13,952 --> 00:08:15,989
Focus.
Calm.
199
00:08:16,162 --> 00:08:17,448
Al Gore?
200
00:08:21,292 --> 00:08:24,751
That's a name I haven't heard
in a long time.
201
00:08:24,921 --> 00:08:26,207
I don't know
if you remember us,
202
00:08:26,381 --> 00:08:28,919
but we're the kids you got to
help try and capture ManBearPig?
203
00:08:29,092 --> 00:08:32,005
Well, uh
you were right.
204
00:08:32,178 --> 00:08:33,794
Ha. You... You were
totally right.
205
00:08:33,972 --> 00:08:35,008
ManBearPig is real,
206
00:08:35,181 --> 00:08:37,173
and, uh, he's killing
lots of people in our town.
207
00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:40,639
Oh.
Sucks for you.
208
00:08:43,732 --> 00:08:45,519
Please, Mr. Gore!
We need your help!
209
00:08:45,692 --> 00:08:47,228
ManBearPig
isn't going to stop.
210
00:08:47,402 --> 00:08:49,860
Oh, is it
inconvenient now?
211
00:08:50,030 --> 00:08:52,818
I tried to warn you all,
but no one took me cereal.
212
00:08:52,991 --> 00:08:54,823
You all just made fun of me,
didn't you?
213
00:08:54,993 --> 00:08:57,610
Well, now you can just
deal with it yourselves.
214
00:08:57,787 --> 00:09:00,575
Please, just tell us...
How do you stop it?
215
00:09:00,749 --> 00:09:02,957
You stop it
all those years ago
216
00:09:03,126 --> 00:09:05,789
when I freaking warned you
and you still had time!
217
00:09:05,962 --> 00:09:07,624
There has to be something
we can still do.
218
00:09:07,797 --> 00:09:09,025
Please, Mr. Gore.
You're the only person
219
00:09:09,049 --> 00:09:10,415
who knows
anything about it.
220
00:09:10,592 --> 00:09:13,835
Say you're sorry
for making fun of me.
221
00:09:14,012 --> 00:09:15,344
We didn't...
222
00:09:15,513 --> 00:09:17,074
We didn't realize
there were more than...
223
00:09:17,098 --> 00:09:20,136
Say you're sorry
for making fun of me.
224
00:09:21,811 --> 00:09:23,928
We're sorry
for making fun of you.
225
00:09:24,105 --> 00:09:27,473
That didn't sound
cereal at all.
226
00:09:34,657 --> 00:09:36,444
You can't just go along
227
00:09:36,618 --> 00:09:38,780
with what people are saying,
Susan, okay?
228
00:09:38,953 --> 00:09:40,785
There's no
scientific proof,
229
00:09:40,955 --> 00:09:43,413
no real evidence
of a ManBearPig.
230
00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:46,667
Well, there's a lot of smart people
saying ManBearPig is real.
231
00:09:46,836 --> 00:09:49,874
Yeah, and a lot of smarter
people saying it isn't, okay?
232
00:09:50,048 --> 00:09:51,755
What you need to understand,
Susan,
233
00:09:51,925 --> 00:09:54,338
is that everyone has an agenda.
Okay?
234
00:09:54,511 --> 00:09:56,844
Everyone wants to use
the fear of a ManBearPig
235
00:09:57,013 --> 00:09:58,174
to get what they want.
236
00:09:59,682 --> 00:10:02,299
So they throw around
bad science, bad taxidermy.
237
00:10:02,477 --> 00:10:04,080
People coming out of the woodwork
238
00:10:04,104 --> 00:10:05,766
are now experts
on the subject.
239
00:10:07,482 --> 00:10:09,815
But you have to use
your own brain, sweetheart.
240
00:10:09,984 --> 00:10:11,395
You can't just
let people tell you
241
00:10:11,569 --> 00:10:12,922
that if you don't believe
in ManBearPig,
242
00:10:12,946 --> 00:10:14,403
then you don't care
about the world.
243
00:10:14,572 --> 00:10:16,188
It is real!
244
00:10:16,366 --> 00:10:19,279
You wanna believe it's real,
you go right on ahead, Susan.
245
00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:21,990
No, it's right there!
It's right there behind you!
246
00:10:27,252 --> 00:10:29,995
Okay,
ManBearPig is real.
247
00:10:30,171 --> 00:10:31,690
What are we gonna do
about it now, huh?
248
00:10:31,714 --> 00:10:32,955
What are we gonna do
249
00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:34,853
that's gonna make
any difference now, Susan?
250
00:10:34,884 --> 00:10:37,001
What?!
We have to do something!
251
00:10:37,178 --> 00:10:39,591
What can we do that everyone
else will also do, Susan?
252
00:10:39,764 --> 00:10:41,505
Come on, use your brain.
253
00:10:41,683 --> 00:10:42,993
Even if we do something about it...
254
00:10:43,017 --> 00:10:44,133
...what about the Chinese?
255
00:10:44,310 --> 00:10:46,893
They're just gonna keep
right on... Ahghhggh!
256
00:10:47,063 --> 00:10:49,225
♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪
257
00:10:49,399 --> 00:10:52,608
♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪
258
00:10:52,777 --> 00:10:55,144
♪ That should've
been president ♪
259
00:10:55,321 --> 00:10:58,564
Oh, thanks guys!
You shouldn't have!
260
00:10:58,741 --> 00:11:00,482
You told us to.
261
00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:02,526
What did you guys
get me?
262
00:11:02,704 --> 00:11:04,491
Oh, wow.
Look!
263
00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:06,224
It's a "You were right
about ManBearPig"
264
00:11:06,374 --> 00:11:07,581
signed picture!
265
00:11:07,750 --> 00:11:09,412
So, um...
266
00:11:09,586 --> 00:11:11,498
now maybe we can all
work together, huh?
267
00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:14,414
Hang on!
It's movie time!
268
00:11:14,591 --> 00:11:16,253
Go, go!
Start it up.
269
00:11:17,093 --> 00:11:19,335
This is the best party ever.
270
00:11:19,512 --> 00:11:21,378
Oh, look, guys.
It's me!
271
00:11:21,556 --> 00:11:24,720
There I am,
campaigning to be president!
272
00:11:24,893 --> 00:11:26,634
That's me
with Hillary!
273
00:11:26,811 --> 00:11:28,552
There's more of me
on the campaign trail,
274
00:11:28,730 --> 00:11:30,312
so full of dreams!
275
00:11:30,481 --> 00:11:33,224
Oh, look! It's me when I found
out I lost the election!
276
00:11:33,401 --> 00:11:35,017
Boo!
277
00:11:35,195 --> 00:11:36,026
But then look!
278
00:11:36,196 --> 00:11:38,404
There's me getting
an Academy Award!
279
00:11:38,573 --> 00:11:40,815
Okay, can we stop
ManBearPig now?!
280
00:11:40,992 --> 00:11:43,279
Who said anything
about stopping M.B.P.?
281
00:11:43,453 --> 00:11:45,866
Y-You told us
to do all this.
282
00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:48,326
Yeah, to make up
for ripping on me!
283
00:11:48,499 --> 00:11:50,115
You're still not even
gonna help us?!
284
00:11:50,293 --> 00:11:52,876
I've moved on
from this life, okay?!
285
00:11:53,046 --> 00:11:54,457
I have a new life now!
286
00:11:54,631 --> 00:11:55,747
I'm a bowler!
287
00:11:55,924 --> 00:11:58,416
And when I'm not bowling,
I help out my gang.
288
00:11:58,593 --> 00:12:00,175
They're my family now!
289
00:12:00,345 --> 00:12:01,961
We're wanted in Blackwater,
290
00:12:02,138 --> 00:12:04,721
and we have to move
our camp soon!
291
00:12:04,891 --> 00:12:06,427
You're playing
Red Dead Redemption 2?
292
00:12:06,601 --> 00:12:08,263
Yeah. It's amazing.
293
00:12:08,436 --> 00:12:10,122
Only thing is,
I have all these stolen items,
294
00:12:10,146 --> 00:12:11,457
and I don't know
how to sell them.
295
00:12:11,481 --> 00:12:13,473
We know how.
296
00:12:13,650 --> 00:12:14,936
Oh, really?
297
00:12:19,489 --> 00:12:21,651
No witnesses to the attack
were left alive.
298
00:12:21,824 --> 00:12:23,385
The same bear and pig droppings
were found
299
00:12:23,409 --> 00:12:25,150
along with
human excrement.
300
00:12:25,328 --> 00:12:26,660
I don't believe it.
301
00:12:26,829 --> 00:12:28,912
A school shooting
at an ice cream shop.
302
00:12:29,082 --> 00:12:30,539
Damn it!
When children leave school,
303
00:12:30,708 --> 00:12:32,620
they're supposed to be
out of harm's way.
304
00:12:32,794 --> 00:12:33,910
Detective!
305
00:12:34,087 --> 00:12:35,794
Sir, we got word
on the two suspects.
306
00:12:35,964 --> 00:12:37,455
They appear to be
on the run.
307
00:12:37,632 --> 00:12:39,544
I would be, too,
if I were guilty.
308
00:12:39,717 --> 00:12:41,925
No one has seen them
or their two closest friends.
309
00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:44,212
A Marsh
and Broflovski.
310
00:12:44,389 --> 00:12:46,847
So, we got us a gang
of shooters, huh?!
311
00:12:47,016 --> 00:12:50,635
How the hell hard can it be
to find four boys?!
312
00:12:50,812 --> 00:12:51,928
Sir...
313
00:12:52,105 --> 00:12:53,437
Why don't you take
a break, sir?
314
00:12:53,606 --> 00:12:54,606
Ehh.
315
00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:56,140
You've been
hittin' it hard.
316
00:12:56,317 --> 00:12:57,899
We'll do all we can
to catch these kids.
317
00:12:58,069 --> 00:12:59,069
Go home,
318
00:12:59,195 --> 00:13:00,731
play some
"Red Dead Redemption."
319
00:13:00,905 --> 00:13:01,986
Huh.
320
00:13:02,156 --> 00:13:03,943
Got to admit,
I'd love to see the sun
321
00:13:04,117 --> 00:13:06,200
rise over
Citadel Rock again.
322
00:13:06,369 --> 00:13:07,985
And I got me a gal
who claims she's got
323
00:13:08,162 --> 00:13:09,528
a side mission or two.
324
00:13:09,706 --> 00:13:11,038
Go on home, sir.
325
00:13:11,207 --> 00:13:14,291
We'll take care
of everything here.
326
00:13:18,965 --> 00:13:20,672
This is it.
327
00:13:20,842 --> 00:13:22,674
Every piece of information
I ever gathered
328
00:13:22,844 --> 00:13:24,005
on ManBearPig.
329
00:13:24,178 --> 00:13:25,965
Where did ManBearPig
come from?
330
00:13:26,139 --> 00:13:27,755
Is it some sort
of genetic mutation?
331
00:13:27,932 --> 00:13:30,219
Oh!
I thought that once, too.
332
00:13:30,393 --> 00:13:32,885
I wanted to find
ManBearPig's origins.
333
00:13:33,062 --> 00:13:36,305
And so I created this...
the Internet.
334
00:13:36,482 --> 00:13:38,565
With that, I was able
to search everywhere
335
00:13:38,735 --> 00:13:40,192
for any bit of data.
336
00:13:40,361 --> 00:13:42,944
And what I learned is
that ManBearPig...
337
00:13:43,114 --> 00:13:44,821
is a demon.
338
00:13:44,991 --> 00:13:46,277
Rmphm?!
339
00:13:46,451 --> 00:13:48,317
This is
"The Temptation of St. Anthony"
340
00:13:48,494 --> 00:13:49,826
by Martin Schongauer.
341
00:13:49,996 --> 00:13:51,737
It depicts several demons...
342
00:13:51,914 --> 00:13:55,828
WolfMonkeyGuy, ChickenFishWoman
and ElephantPorcupineMan,
343
00:13:56,002 --> 00:13:57,334
just to name a few.
344
00:13:57,503 --> 00:13:59,916
All of them demons sent
by the Devil himself.
345
00:14:00,089 --> 00:14:02,251
Oh, my God.
346
00:14:02,425 --> 00:14:03,461
What?
347
00:14:03,634 --> 00:14:05,112
I should play "Red Dead"
on this computer,
348
00:14:05,136 --> 00:14:06,136
with all three screens.
349
00:14:06,262 --> 00:14:08,128
That'd be
so bitchin' sweet.
350
00:14:08,306 --> 00:14:10,298
Why did the devil
send ManBearPig?!
351
00:14:10,475 --> 00:14:11,886
Why does the devil
do anything?
352
00:14:12,060 --> 00:14:13,517
He's the freakin' devil.
He's a dick.
353
00:14:15,271 --> 00:14:16,728
It's probably too late.
354
00:14:16,898 --> 00:14:19,015
By now ManBearPig
is so powerful
355
00:14:19,192 --> 00:14:20,552
that the only way
to get rid of him
356
00:14:20,610 --> 00:14:23,444
is to send him
back to hell.
357
00:14:23,613 --> 00:14:27,653
We're going to have
to do a demonic ritual.
358
00:14:27,825 --> 00:14:29,157
All I can say is,
359
00:14:29,327 --> 00:14:31,193
you boys better get
to the grocery store,
360
00:14:31,371 --> 00:14:35,285
'cause it's time...
to get cereal.
361
00:14:40,797 --> 00:14:42,629
Harrison Yates,
where have ya been?!
362
00:14:42,799 --> 00:14:45,007
Another school shooting,
Maggie.
363
00:14:45,176 --> 00:14:47,759
Down at
Baskin-Robbins.
364
00:14:49,347 --> 00:14:52,055
I haven't seen you in days.
I've missed you so much.
365
00:14:52,225 --> 00:14:54,057
Come have some supper
with me.
366
00:14:54,227 --> 00:14:56,219
Maggie, I just need to relax
a bit, all right?
367
00:14:56,396 --> 00:14:57,432
Please.
368
00:14:57,605 --> 00:14:59,083
I've been waiting for this
a long time.
369
00:14:59,107 --> 00:15:00,439
Just give me a...
370
00:15:00,608 --> 00:15:02,190
Wait a minute.
371
00:15:02,360 --> 00:15:04,647
The house in Valentine
is built?
372
00:15:04,821 --> 00:15:06,904
Where did I get
a sniper rifle?
373
00:15:07,073 --> 00:15:08,154
Maggie!
374
00:15:08,324 --> 00:15:10,031
Did you play over
my save game?
375
00:15:10,201 --> 00:15:11,442
I just played
a little bit.
376
00:15:11,619 --> 00:15:13,827
A little bit, you...
On my save game?!
377
00:15:13,996 --> 00:15:15,783
Why didn't you
start your own?!
378
00:15:15,957 --> 00:15:17,243
You're never home
anymore!
379
00:15:17,417 --> 00:15:18,703
With all these
school shootin's!
380
00:15:18,876 --> 00:15:20,788
I need a life,
too, ya know!
381
00:15:20,962 --> 00:15:22,669
So I robbed a lumber mill
in Monto's Rest,
382
00:15:22,839 --> 00:15:24,751
upgraded my horse,
and got a sniper rifle.
383
00:15:24,924 --> 00:15:26,631
That's my life,
Maggie!
384
00:15:26,801 --> 00:15:28,121
I was going for
more honor points!
385
00:15:28,219 --> 00:15:29,335
God damn it!
386
00:15:29,512 --> 00:15:31,299
Why can't we have
a life together?!
387
00:15:31,472 --> 00:15:33,213
I haven't gotten to play
in three days.
388
00:15:33,391 --> 00:15:34,871
You've done all this
stuff without me!
389
00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:36,470
You got deputized?!
390
00:15:38,271 --> 00:15:39,682
Oh, God damn it!
That does it.
391
00:15:39,856 --> 00:15:40,687
Where are ya goin'?!
392
00:15:40,857 --> 00:15:42,644
I'm starting
a new life!
393
00:15:42,817 --> 00:15:44,353
I'm creating
a new save game.
394
00:15:44,527 --> 00:15:45,963
You can't possibly go
all the way back
395
00:15:45,987 --> 00:15:47,103
to the snow level
again!
396
00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:48,862
What choice
do I have now?!
397
00:15:52,493 --> 00:15:54,450
Fuckin' bitch.
398
00:16:06,507 --> 00:16:09,420
Abbul abash my-ah.
399
00:16:09,594 --> 00:16:11,677
What Satan has
put forth upon this earth
400
00:16:11,846 --> 00:16:15,385
may it be summoned
and banished forever.
401
00:16:16,642 --> 00:16:18,053
Dude, come on,
what are we doing?
402
00:16:18,227 --> 00:16:20,514
This is stupid.
He was right before.
403
00:16:20,688 --> 00:16:23,772
We call upon
the powers of darkness.
404
00:16:23,941 --> 00:16:26,684
Come on, guys.
We call upon...
405
00:16:26,861 --> 00:16:29,899
We call upon
the powers of darkness.
406
00:16:30,072 --> 00:16:32,280
Al Gore was right.
407
00:16:32,450 --> 00:16:34,737
Al Gore was right
all along.
408
00:16:34,911 --> 00:16:37,494
Al Gore was right
all along.
409
00:16:37,663 --> 00:16:40,872
We should have
listened to Al Gore.
410
00:16:41,042 --> 00:16:43,705
- We should have all listened to Al Gor...
- Wait.
411
00:16:43,878 --> 00:16:45,369
Wait.
Are you videoing us?
412
00:16:45,546 --> 00:16:47,333
It's Instagram live.
Keep going!
413
00:16:47,507 --> 00:16:50,375
We should have taken Al Gore
more cereal.
414
00:16:50,551 --> 00:16:51,951
All right. All right.
That's enough.
415
00:16:52,053 --> 00:16:53,635
You need to stop wasting
our time, dude.
416
00:16:53,804 --> 00:16:54,885
People are dying!
417
00:16:55,056 --> 00:16:56,575
You don't have a fucking clue
what you're doing!
418
00:17:07,568 --> 00:17:08,934
You were saying?
419
00:17:09,111 --> 00:17:10,111
Aw, shit!
420
00:17:10,279 --> 00:17:11,279
God Damn it!
Nothing!
421
00:17:11,405 --> 00:17:13,271
I'm sorry!
I'm sorry!
422
00:17:25,920 --> 00:17:30,381
Do you all have any idea
what's it's like to start over?!
423
00:17:30,550 --> 00:17:32,086
You walk four hours
through the snow
424
00:17:32,260 --> 00:17:34,297
relearning everything,
425
00:17:34,470 --> 00:17:36,336
all because your bitch wife
went and spent
426
00:17:36,514 --> 00:17:39,632
all your hard earned money
on upgrades you didn't want!
427
00:17:39,809 --> 00:17:41,516
I get one little break
from work...
428
00:17:41,686 --> 00:17:43,973
one little break...
and I didn't even get back
429
00:17:44,146 --> 00:17:46,354
to the first brawl
at the saloon.
430
00:17:46,524 --> 00:17:48,686
You can actually bypass
that fight
431
00:17:48,859 --> 00:17:49,979
if you go hunting
with Dutch.
432
00:17:50,111 --> 00:17:51,602
Shut up!
433
00:17:51,779 --> 00:17:54,237
These school shootings are done,
you hear me?!
434
00:17:54,407 --> 00:17:56,694
I want this case closed
by the end of the night,
435
00:17:56,867 --> 00:17:58,074
one way or another!
436
00:17:58,244 --> 00:18:00,110
Now, let's move out!
437
00:18:00,288 --> 00:18:02,371
Here he comes, boys!
438
00:18:02,540 --> 00:18:04,122
Prepare yourselves!
439
00:18:15,803 --> 00:18:19,262
Who hath summoned me
to this realm?!
440
00:18:19,432 --> 00:18:21,219
Dude!
You summoned Satan!
441
00:18:21,392 --> 00:18:24,806
Yeah no doi!
What'dya think we were doing?!
442
00:18:24,979 --> 00:18:28,893
Prince of darkness!
It is I, Al Gore!
443
00:18:29,066 --> 00:18:31,433
I was almost
president!
444
00:18:31,611 --> 00:18:35,525
What do you wish of me,
Al Gore?!
445
00:18:35,698 --> 00:18:36,734
A demon from Hell
446
00:18:36,907 --> 00:18:39,149
has been unleashed
upon our world!
447
00:18:39,327 --> 00:18:41,535
We demand
to know its nature!
448
00:18:41,704 --> 00:18:44,492
We demand to know
its reason for coming!
449
00:18:44,665 --> 00:18:49,205
There is only one place you can
find the answers you seek!
450
00:18:49,378 --> 00:18:51,961
It is the place
where all knowledge
451
00:18:52,131 --> 00:18:54,293
becomes known!
452
00:18:54,467 --> 00:18:57,301
Your local library.
453
00:18:57,470 --> 00:18:59,678
Ah! You are
correct.
454
00:18:59,847 --> 00:19:02,715
Your local library
is an excellent resource
455
00:19:02,892 --> 00:19:04,849
for whatever
you wish to learn.
456
00:19:05,019 --> 00:19:07,102
Yes, it is.
457
00:19:07,271 --> 00:19:09,183
Then I command
thee, Satan,
458
00:19:09,357 --> 00:19:11,519
to come with us
to the local library!
459
00:19:11,692 --> 00:19:14,059
And I am cereal!
460
00:19:14,236 --> 00:19:16,273
Dude, Satan's not gonna
go with us to the...
461
00:19:16,447 --> 00:19:21,067
Very well, Al Gore.
Let us go!
462
00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:26,322
Yeah, guys!
Guys, over here!
463
00:19:26,499 --> 00:19:28,286
I think I found it.
464
00:19:28,459 --> 00:19:31,076
What you're dealing with
is a Sifter of Fate.
465
00:19:31,253 --> 00:19:32,585
What's that mean?
466
00:19:32,755 --> 00:19:35,338
So there's these demons
that, um, actually come
467
00:19:35,508 --> 00:19:37,215
once every few
generations.
468
00:19:37,385 --> 00:19:39,251
They're all about
making deals.
469
00:19:39,428 --> 00:19:40,464
Making deals?
470
00:19:40,638 --> 00:19:42,049
Yeah, check it out.
471
00:19:42,223 --> 00:19:45,091
"The Sifter of Fate thrives
on tempting mankind.
472
00:19:45,267 --> 00:19:47,850
It will always offer a deal
in exchange for mercy,
473
00:19:48,020 --> 00:19:49,886
but the carnage will
be a thousand times worse
474
00:19:50,064 --> 00:19:51,225
when the debt comes due."
475
00:19:51,399 --> 00:19:52,640
Okay, so wait.
476
00:19:52,817 --> 00:19:54,558
Now you're saying
that someone in our town
477
00:19:54,735 --> 00:19:55,942
made a deal
with that thing?
478
00:19:56,112 --> 00:19:58,274
Now it's here to claim
it's part of the bargain.
479
00:19:58,447 --> 00:19:59,841
It's sort of like
when you're part of a gang
480
00:19:59,865 --> 00:20:01,606
feuding with a rival gang,
you know.
481
00:20:01,784 --> 00:20:02,928
You ride around on your horse
482
00:20:02,952 --> 00:20:04,388
thinking it won't all
catch up with you,
483
00:20:04,412 --> 00:20:06,028
but it always does.
484
00:20:06,205 --> 00:20:08,071
You're playing
"Red Dead Redemption," too?
485
00:20:08,249 --> 00:20:09,615
So good, right?
486
00:20:11,085 --> 00:20:13,327
Attention, school shooters!
487
00:20:13,504 --> 00:20:16,042
We have you surrounded!
488
00:20:16,215 --> 00:20:18,878
Come out with your hands up!
489
00:20:19,051 --> 00:20:21,088
Oh, Jesus.
You gotta tell them, Mr. Gore!
490
00:20:21,262 --> 00:20:22,628
Tell them it
wasn't us!
491
00:20:22,805 --> 00:20:25,343
No. They don't
listen to me, kids.
492
00:20:25,516 --> 00:20:28,099
It's up to you
young people now.
493
00:20:28,269 --> 00:20:31,057
You have to find a way to
get people to take this cereal.
494
00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:33,472
You must convince people
there's a ManBearPig,
495
00:20:33,649 --> 00:20:35,936
which Satan told you is
a Fate Sifter demon
496
00:20:36,110 --> 00:20:38,898
that made a deal
with someone in this town!
497
00:20:39,071 --> 00:20:40,607
That's gonna be
impossible.
498
00:20:40,781 --> 00:20:42,693
Yeah, sounds really hard,
doesn't it?
499
00:20:42,867 --> 00:20:43,987
People might not believe you
500
00:20:44,034 --> 00:20:45,429
and, like, make fun
of you and stuff.
501
00:20:45,453 --> 00:20:46,864
Poor you guys, huh?
502
00:20:53,002 --> 00:20:54,368
They are
coming out!
503
00:20:54,545 --> 00:20:56,457
Hands where
we can see em!
504
00:20:56,630 --> 00:20:59,998
Everyone, listen!
ManBearPig is real.
505
00:21:00,176 --> 00:21:02,259
It's a demon that thrives
on making deals
506
00:21:02,428 --> 00:21:04,385
to exploit mankind's
weaknesses.
507
00:21:04,555 --> 00:21:07,263
I am super-duper cereal.
508
00:21:09,268 --> 00:21:14,059
We all have to work together,
you guys. This one time.
509
00:21:14,231 --> 00:21:16,223
We have to all put
our pride aside
510
00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:19,768
and be willing to say,
maybe we were wrong.
511
00:21:19,945 --> 00:21:22,187
All right, lock these
little fuckers up!
512
00:21:22,364 --> 00:21:25,198
No! You can't!
513
00:21:25,367 --> 00:21:28,075
That's it, gentlemen!
Case closed.
514
00:21:28,245 --> 00:21:30,282
Now I've got a God damn
stagecoach to rob
515
00:21:30,456 --> 00:21:31,697
in Scarlett Meadows!
516
00:21:31,874 --> 00:21:33,285
Well done, sir!
517
00:21:33,459 --> 00:21:35,542
No! Noooo!
518
00:21:35,711 --> 00:21:38,545
Please! Somebody made
a deal with ManBearPig!
519
00:21:38,714 --> 00:21:40,125
We have to find out who!
520
00:21:42,092 --> 00:21:43,754
Billy...
521
00:21:43,928 --> 00:21:45,715
what have I done?
37460
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