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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,720 --> 00:00:05,600 Do you fancy having a bite with me? 2 00:00:05,720 --> 00:00:08,000 We can discuss Islam Dunk. Don't you like eating out? 3 00:00:08,119 --> 00:00:10,640 I thought you were my handsome gay dad friend. 4 00:00:10,760 --> 00:00:12,520 You think I'm handsome? 5 00:00:12,640 --> 00:00:13,800 "Ally Akbar." 6 00:00:14,280 --> 00:00:17,280 Praise the Lord! He's cured the lepers! 7 00:00:17,400 --> 00:00:20,160 - (THUNDERCLAP) - Yes, he's cured the lepers! 8 00:00:20,720 --> 00:00:24,000 Jesus is the son of God. Praise the Lord! 9 00:00:24,120 --> 00:00:29,400 VOICEOVER: 'Zein Amin is Judas in the retelling of the oldest story ever told. 10 00:00:29,520 --> 00:00:32,280 'Coming this summer, the epic story...' 11 00:00:32,400 --> 00:00:34,080 Hey, Jesus. 12 00:00:35,720 --> 00:00:37,560 - Watch your back. - (THUNDERCLAP) 13 00:00:38,320 --> 00:00:40,280 'Crown Of Thorns.' 14 00:00:40,400 --> 00:00:42,320 (# SWEEPING SOUNDTRACK) 15 00:00:43,760 --> 00:00:45,160 God, I hate him. 16 00:00:46,160 --> 00:00:48,840 ON VIDEO: 'Six-part limited series, Crown of Thorns...' 17 00:00:51,840 --> 00:00:52,880 Eat. 18 00:00:56,240 --> 00:00:59,000 - What are you wearing? - He's trying to fit in at work! 19 00:00:59,120 --> 00:01:01,360 So cringe. Total fail. 20 00:01:02,040 --> 00:01:04,720 What? Look at me! I'm the rizz! 21 00:01:05,960 --> 00:01:09,680 - You've GOT rizz. - Thank you. 22 00:01:09,800 --> 00:01:13,120 Can you chase up Chloe, find out what's going on with the script? 23 00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:16,520 - I need something good in my awful life. - What are you talking about? 24 00:01:16,640 --> 00:01:19,080 You've got your Crown Of Thorns premiere coming out. 25 00:01:19,200 --> 00:01:21,160 Yeah, good one(!) Have you seen the trailer? 26 00:01:21,280 --> 00:01:23,320 - Yeah. - They're destroying me in the comments. 27 00:01:23,440 --> 00:01:27,320 Yeah, I like the one, "Judas's only convincing betrayal 28 00:01:27,440 --> 00:01:29,560 "is to the art of acting." 29 00:01:29,680 --> 00:01:32,240 - Yeah. Poetic(!) - Mm-hm. 30 00:01:33,480 --> 00:01:36,240 - What is going on here? - Bear broke up with her. 31 00:01:36,360 --> 00:01:39,360 - Shut up, Layla. - Go, get a Happy Meal. 32 00:01:39,480 --> 00:01:41,520 God knows you need it. 33 00:01:43,640 --> 00:01:46,360 - I'm sorry, Lina. Love is so cruel. - Go! 34 00:01:46,480 --> 00:01:47,920 Find Lottie! 35 00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:52,400 Look, I know you don't want to hear it... 36 00:01:52,520 --> 00:01:55,080 Bawbaw, please don't tell me I'll meet someone else. 37 00:01:55,920 --> 00:01:57,320 He's beautiful! 38 00:01:57,440 --> 00:01:59,960 I'd never been with an intellect before. 39 00:02:02,080 --> 00:02:04,160 - Oh, this is just a joke to you... - No, wait, wait, wait. 40 00:02:04,280 --> 00:02:06,480 I'm sorry. I'm sorry, OK? 41 00:02:06,600 --> 00:02:10,639 Why don't you go out, huh, and buy yourself something? 42 00:02:11,560 --> 00:02:13,120 What, like a sandwich? 43 00:02:14,320 --> 00:02:15,640 There you go. 44 00:02:21,640 --> 00:02:22,920 I love you. 45 00:02:37,520 --> 00:02:39,280 - Lottie? - (DOORBELL) 46 00:02:42,080 --> 00:02:44,640 - What's going on? - (PANTING) 47 00:02:46,080 --> 00:02:48,200 She is coming! Oh, my God, she is coming! 48 00:02:48,320 --> 00:02:51,000 - Speak to your father. - Why'd you make him run like that? 49 00:02:51,120 --> 00:02:55,520 - You could have just called me. - 'Shut up! No time! She's very upset.' 50 00:02:55,640 --> 00:02:58,000 - Hey, Bawbaw. Who's upset? - 'Our sister. 51 00:02:58,120 --> 00:03:02,000 'Afaf! She had a big fight in London with your cousin, Dr Noor. 52 00:03:02,120 --> 00:03:04,240 - 'She's coming now, today.' - ZEIN: Who, Noor? 53 00:03:04,360 --> 00:03:07,520 - I love Noor! - Not Noor! I know you love Noor. 54 00:03:07,640 --> 00:03:10,840 No, your Aunt Afaf is coming and she's very angry 55 00:03:10,960 --> 00:03:14,440 because Noor is leaving medicine, I don't know why. Why, oh, why? 56 00:03:14,560 --> 00:03:18,680 - What's she leaving to do? - 'To be a writer. What's wrong with her? 57 00:03:18,800 --> 00:03:20,760 'She's a very successful doctor.' 58 00:03:20,880 --> 00:03:23,120 Why should she shame the whole family? 59 00:03:23,240 --> 00:03:25,640 - A writer, can you imagine? - I'm a writer. 60 00:03:25,760 --> 00:03:29,600 'No, Sammie, she's writing the romantic book. 61 00:03:29,720 --> 00:03:32,800 'You know, with the sexy time in it. It's not the same as you. 62 00:03:32,920 --> 00:03:34,480 'People will actually read what she writes.' 63 00:03:34,600 --> 00:03:36,040 - That's true. - Funny. 64 00:03:36,160 --> 00:03:40,240 'Afaf is furious. You need to put your family in line. 65 00:03:40,360 --> 00:03:45,160 'Listen, Zein, you must pretend you are married to Zu, OK?' 66 00:03:45,280 --> 00:03:49,560 - (LAUGHING) This is fucking brilliant! - MO: 'No fucking around Afaf! 67 00:03:49,680 --> 00:03:54,480 'Zein, if my sister knows you are not married, the whole of Egypt will know. 68 00:03:54,600 --> 00:03:56,840 'Then they'll all judge me. 69 00:03:56,960 --> 00:04:00,760 'She's very mean woman, but she's rich. 70 00:04:00,880 --> 00:04:03,000 - 'Very wealthy.' - Yeah. 71 00:04:03,880 --> 00:04:07,040 'I have to go. Gamal knows the plan.' 72 00:04:07,160 --> 00:04:08,920 OK. Bye. 73 00:04:09,040 --> 00:04:12,960 - So what if she's rich? - Man, come on, don't be stupid! 74 00:04:13,080 --> 00:04:16,760 Dr Noor is just kicked out of Aunt Afaf's will. 75 00:04:16,880 --> 00:04:20,279 And you, you both are the next in line. 76 00:04:20,920 --> 00:04:23,240 - Us? We? - Yes! 77 00:04:23,360 --> 00:04:27,520 You! But she thinks of you that you are bad Muslims 78 00:04:27,640 --> 00:04:29,960 because you are loose men. 79 00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:32,960 - You more than him. - That's fair. 80 00:04:33,080 --> 00:04:36,080 - She's right. - Sammie, why are you dressed like this? 81 00:04:36,200 --> 00:04:39,920 Dress up like an Egyptian, not like an American. She already hates you. 82 00:04:40,040 --> 00:04:43,800 And you, Zein, dress up little Ruby like an angel. 83 00:04:43,920 --> 00:04:45,720 She loves babies. 84 00:04:45,840 --> 00:04:48,840 It's a pity you don't have a boy. She would love that. 85 00:04:48,960 --> 00:04:50,880 - She's very sexist. - SAM: OK. 86 00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:53,160 I'll cancel work. Send me her flight details. 87 00:04:53,280 --> 00:04:55,520 OK, be ready, all right? 88 00:04:55,640 --> 00:04:57,080 OK. 89 00:04:57,200 --> 00:05:01,680 Remember what your father says. She's ve-e-ery wealthy! 90 00:05:02,520 --> 00:05:06,360 She wants good Muslims? We'll give her good Muslims. 91 00:05:13,360 --> 00:05:15,600 (PHONE RINGING) 92 00:05:24,520 --> 00:05:25,800 (STOPS RINGING) 93 00:05:28,320 --> 00:05:30,000 (STARTS RINGING) 94 00:05:35,360 --> 00:05:38,000 Lina, sweetheart, how are you? 95 00:05:38,120 --> 00:05:40,960 Sorry, I was just saying my prayers. 96 00:05:41,680 --> 00:05:45,600 Louie's doing really well. He's in the top group for numeracy and also... 97 00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:47,920 - (PHONE RINGING) - Sorry, um... 98 00:05:48,040 --> 00:05:50,880 - What's wrong? - Nothing, it's just Chloe from work. 99 00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:53,160 OK, love you. Go on, Buttons. 100 00:05:53,280 --> 00:05:55,560 - Are you mad at me about Lottie? - No! 101 00:05:55,680 --> 00:05:58,680 No, I just need to answer this call. I'll see you later. 102 00:05:58,800 --> 00:06:01,960 - Do you think we'll find her? - Please don't get upset. 103 00:06:02,880 --> 00:06:04,880 - It's OK... - Are you OK down there, Mr Amin? 104 00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:07,840 - Chloe from work's calling him. - Is she? 105 00:06:07,960 --> 00:06:09,880 (RINGING CONTINUING) 106 00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:12,120 Why don't you head on in? 107 00:06:12,240 --> 00:06:16,200 - Well, well, well. - Miss Mal... Leslie. How are you doing? 108 00:06:16,320 --> 00:06:18,960 I want to talk to you. I just need to take this call, OK? 109 00:06:19,080 --> 00:06:22,080 - Chloe, can't really talk right now. - 'What are you wearing? 110 00:06:22,200 --> 00:06:25,080 - 'You look ridiculous.' - Cheers. Did you get my email about...? 111 00:06:25,200 --> 00:06:28,600 'I don't give a shit about your aunt. I need face-to-face time. Tomorrow, yeah? 112 00:06:28,720 --> 00:06:33,040 'Anyways, I miss seeing you cock-strutting around the office, you right rooster you!' 113 00:06:33,160 --> 00:06:34,720 Jesus! 114 00:06:34,840 --> 00:06:37,240 - 'Who's that?' - That's Miss Malone, Nancy's teacher. 115 00:06:37,360 --> 00:06:40,360 Look, I'd better go here. See you tomorrow, yeah? Sorry, bye. 116 00:06:41,560 --> 00:06:43,000 Video calls? 117 00:06:43,120 --> 00:06:45,360 I can't even get a text back. 118 00:06:45,480 --> 00:06:48,160 - Well, this last week's been... - Exhausting, I imagine. 119 00:06:48,280 --> 00:06:49,920 With all the cock-strutting around work. 120 00:06:50,040 --> 00:06:52,640 - No, no. It's been... - Piss off, Sam! 121 00:06:52,760 --> 00:06:55,800 You were texting for weeks, and then what? Nothing? 122 00:06:55,920 --> 00:06:58,160 I wasn't looking for anything! 123 00:06:58,280 --> 00:07:00,480 You're the one who suggested doing something some time. 124 00:07:00,600 --> 00:07:02,680 - If you're not interested... - Of course I'm interested. 125 00:07:02,800 --> 00:07:05,640 What are you, blind? Look at you and look at me. 126 00:07:05,760 --> 00:07:08,560 You're the reason people name stars, for fuck's sake. 127 00:07:08,680 --> 00:07:10,120 Well, then, what? 128 00:07:10,240 --> 00:07:12,720 Well, it was Ramadan and... 129 00:07:12,840 --> 00:07:16,360 OK, look, to be honest, I started thinking and... 130 00:07:16,480 --> 00:07:18,440 maybe I'm not ready for a serious relationship. 131 00:07:18,560 --> 00:07:22,960 Mary mother of God, Sam! We've not even been on a date yet. Jesus! 132 00:07:23,080 --> 00:07:25,080 Who even knows if I'm that interested? 133 00:07:25,200 --> 00:07:28,640 So far, the highlight of our situation-ship is a pair of candy pants 134 00:07:28,760 --> 00:07:32,480 and one dirty text, which you grammatically corrected 135 00:07:32,600 --> 00:07:34,720 then sent your below-par recipe for couscous. 136 00:07:34,840 --> 00:07:37,960 Couscous. You know that's Arabic slang for... (WHISPERS) ..vagina? 137 00:07:39,560 --> 00:07:41,200 - I think I'm going to go now. - No, no. 138 00:07:41,320 --> 00:07:42,760 Come back, come back. 139 00:07:42,880 --> 00:07:44,720 I'm sorry, OK? 140 00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:48,760 I'm very rusty at all this, Les. I do really, really like you. 141 00:07:49,920 --> 00:07:52,960 How can I make it up? Anything, anything, anything, anything. 142 00:07:53,080 --> 00:07:54,440 Dick pic! 143 00:07:56,160 --> 00:07:58,560 - Now? - No, later, behind the monkey bars. 144 00:07:58,680 --> 00:08:00,400 You flipping dope! 145 00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:04,320 - Just bring me for dinner some time. - I will. 146 00:08:04,440 --> 00:08:06,400 - And not somewhere shite. - I wouldn't. 147 00:08:09,000 --> 00:08:10,240 Bye, Miss Malone. 148 00:08:10,360 --> 00:08:13,080 - Bye. Right, come on, kids. - (SCHOOL BELL RINGS) 149 00:08:15,600 --> 00:08:18,160 (RUBY GURGLING, ZU HUMMING SOFTLY) 150 00:08:23,800 --> 00:08:27,920 - This is ridiculous! - Aunt Afaf's old-school. Listen to me. 151 00:08:28,040 --> 00:08:30,720 ZEIN: Just keep it, Lina, all right? Do as I say. 152 00:08:30,840 --> 00:08:34,320 - OK, finally, she's asleep! - LINA: Mark my words! 153 00:08:34,440 --> 00:08:36,240 This is not going to end well. 154 00:08:36,360 --> 00:08:40,799 And if anyone asks, I'll tell them the men in my family make me wear this! 155 00:08:42,039 --> 00:08:44,000 The irony's not lost on me. 156 00:08:46,680 --> 00:08:48,200 - Hey. - Hey. 157 00:08:50,600 --> 00:08:53,080 - Sweetie... - Oh! No, no, no. 158 00:08:53,920 --> 00:08:58,600 No, Zu, listen to me. This woman is loaded. I'm talking Arab money rich. 159 00:08:59,480 --> 00:09:02,000 OK. One condition. 160 00:09:02,120 --> 00:09:03,080 Yeah? 161 00:09:03,200 --> 00:09:05,040 My friend Katia. 162 00:09:05,160 --> 00:09:07,280 Did you... (CLICKS HER TONGUE) ..with her? 163 00:09:07,960 --> 00:09:13,720 It's OK, it's OK. We're not together. It's not a big deal. 164 00:09:13,840 --> 00:09:16,160 It's not a test. 165 00:09:16,280 --> 00:09:17,640 Just want the truth. 166 00:09:21,960 --> 00:09:23,360 Just texting Youssef. 167 00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:25,800 - You're obsessed with him. - We have similar backgrounds. 168 00:09:25,920 --> 00:09:28,600 - Mark, I've been very clear with you. - Get over yourself. 169 00:09:28,720 --> 00:09:31,720 Oh, my God, is this about the Karate Kid? Again? 170 00:09:31,840 --> 00:09:34,280 It would have been nice if you'd have watched it with me. 171 00:09:34,400 --> 00:09:37,800 Karate Kid 1's only two hours and six minutes and it's brilliant! 172 00:09:37,920 --> 00:09:40,000 - (MEN LAUGHING) - I watched Mean Girls with you. 173 00:09:40,120 --> 00:09:42,320 - They weren't even that mean. - It's a musical, Mark. 174 00:09:42,440 --> 00:09:46,000 Yeah, I know. It's the longest hour and 56 minutes of my life. 175 00:09:46,120 --> 00:09:48,080 Go this way and don't look. 176 00:09:48,200 --> 00:09:51,040 - I said don't look, didn't I? - What was that all about? 177 00:09:51,160 --> 00:09:52,840 Nothing you'll ever have to worry about. 178 00:09:54,440 --> 00:09:56,720 It was test, you lying motherfucker! 179 00:09:56,840 --> 00:09:58,680 You are a dog. 180 00:09:58,800 --> 00:10:01,280 Fuck you and your auntie mother bitch! 181 00:10:01,400 --> 00:10:04,280 Sorry, Zu, all right? I'm just trying to be open here. 182 00:10:04,400 --> 00:10:07,760 Zu, he's sorry. Will you please calm down, Zu? Ruby is asleep, Zu. 183 00:10:07,880 --> 00:10:11,520 OK. OK, OK. I'm OK, I'm calm, Cormac. 184 00:10:12,280 --> 00:10:14,000 I'm calm. 185 00:10:18,640 --> 00:10:21,240 Now you're open. Dog! 186 00:10:23,160 --> 00:10:24,760 - (ZEIN GROANS) - Hey, Sam. 187 00:10:24,880 --> 00:10:26,680 - Hey, Zu. - Zu... 188 00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:33,360 - What are you wearing, pal? - What are YOU wearing, pal? 189 00:10:33,480 --> 00:10:36,920 - And what is this yoke? - It's laundry. Don't judge, Sammie. 190 00:10:37,040 --> 00:10:41,040 I was experimenting. Sexually, you know, with Tanya and Renee. 191 00:10:41,160 --> 00:10:42,680 Costumes and stuff. 192 00:10:42,800 --> 00:10:46,520 The whole throuple thing got a bit stale, did it? And what? 193 00:10:46,640 --> 00:10:51,800 You thought I'd wash your hairy sex suit in with Nancy's Paddington PJs, is it? 194 00:10:51,920 --> 00:10:55,840 - Thanks for your help, Cormac(!) - I didn't know she was in love with you. 195 00:10:55,960 --> 00:10:58,680 - Or that she did military service. - You think she's in love with me? 196 00:10:58,800 --> 00:11:01,760 Anyway, whatever. Now I have Ruby for the rest of the week. 197 00:11:03,080 --> 00:11:06,720 - Is that... for furry sex? - Yeah. 198 00:11:08,320 --> 00:11:10,560 - Tell me everything, please. - Me too. 199 00:11:10,680 --> 00:11:13,920 Are you all dressed like bears? Are you like Goldicocks? 200 00:11:14,720 --> 00:11:17,080 Yeah. It's like... I mean... 201 00:11:18,680 --> 00:11:21,200 Ugh, who am I kidding? 202 00:11:21,320 --> 00:11:23,240 I'm so miserable! 203 00:11:23,360 --> 00:11:26,840 I can't even watch Everton any more, they just never leave me alone. 204 00:11:26,960 --> 00:11:29,640 It's just sex, sex, sex all the time. Sex, sex, sex, sex, sex. 205 00:11:29,760 --> 00:11:31,600 Why does God hate me? 206 00:11:33,160 --> 00:11:36,400 - I wasn't ready to be a dad. - Shut up, both of you! 207 00:11:38,040 --> 00:11:39,840 Cormac, ever since all this shit with Dymphna, 208 00:11:39,960 --> 00:11:43,080 you've just been making one bad mistake after the other. 209 00:11:43,200 --> 00:11:46,680 Yeah? First you quit your job, and then Tanya and Renee. 210 00:11:46,800 --> 00:11:48,680 Obviously you're not happy with the girls, 211 00:11:48,800 --> 00:11:50,880 otherwise you wouldn't be hiding here all the time. 212 00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:54,280 You tried it. Now end it. 213 00:11:55,280 --> 00:11:58,960 - And as for you, you s... - I'm not happy, Sam. 214 00:11:59,080 --> 00:12:01,280 There, I said it. OK? 215 00:12:01,400 --> 00:12:04,640 I love Ruby, I really do, but I hate being a dad. 216 00:12:05,920 --> 00:12:09,400 Women don't look at me the same way. I'm just being honest, Sam. 217 00:12:09,520 --> 00:12:10,880 Unlike some. 218 00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:13,160 What is it with the script, huh? 219 00:12:13,280 --> 00:12:15,840 Huh? Why are you avoiding Chloe? 220 00:12:17,440 --> 00:12:21,000 Because I think she gets off on intimidating me. You know, sexually. 221 00:12:21,120 --> 00:12:24,600 - At your age? What a sicko! - Boo-fucking-hoo, Sam. 222 00:12:24,720 --> 00:12:26,520 That's why the script's not getting made? 223 00:12:26,640 --> 00:12:30,000 Because you're not willing to eat some producer's whisker biscuit? 224 00:12:30,120 --> 00:12:32,120 Whisker biscuit? 225 00:12:34,160 --> 00:12:36,680 (CHILDLIKE) "I'm not happy! I'm not happy!" 226 00:12:36,800 --> 00:12:40,680 You should hear yourself! You're a dad. So... man-up! 227 00:12:40,800 --> 00:12:44,200 - That's it. It is what it is, OK? - Man-up. 228 00:12:44,320 --> 00:12:46,320 - Man-up. - Man-up, that's it. 229 00:12:46,440 --> 00:12:48,520 (LAUGHS) That's it. 230 00:12:48,640 --> 00:12:50,840 - Yeah. - I'll fucking show you guys! 231 00:12:50,960 --> 00:12:54,280 I'm gonna fucking man-up. Oh, yeah. I'm gonna be fucking loaded. 232 00:12:54,960 --> 00:12:58,120 Eat the biscuits, Sam. I'll dress Ruby as a boy. 233 00:12:58,240 --> 00:12:59,760 I don't know what he got from that conversation... 234 00:12:59,880 --> 00:13:02,800 - I'm gonna man-up as well. - You don't need to man-up. 235 00:13:02,920 --> 00:13:05,240 - You mean...? - Yeah, if you could man-down? 236 00:13:05,360 --> 00:13:07,440 I need to man down. Yeah. 237 00:13:13,160 --> 00:13:15,360 I really don't understand why you're wearing galabeya. 238 00:13:15,480 --> 00:13:18,240 - You don't wear galabeya in Egypt. - It's good. It's enough. 239 00:13:18,360 --> 00:13:22,120 And I hear my little Zein is doing really well, big movie star! 240 00:13:25,560 --> 00:13:27,840 You have your mother's ears. 241 00:13:27,960 --> 00:13:31,680 - (LAUGHING) Big, big, big, big, big! - Agh! 242 00:13:37,280 --> 00:13:40,240 - GAMAL: It's dangerous! - I'm driving. 243 00:13:41,520 --> 00:13:46,240 No problem, you know. Big ears, big nose. It's a nice balance, Sammie. 244 00:13:49,800 --> 00:13:54,720 - I can't recognise where we are, Sam. - Sam moved, changed houses. 245 00:13:54,840 --> 00:13:58,600 - Huh? Ah, good. - It's closer to the schools. 246 00:13:58,720 --> 00:14:03,160 Ah, good. Good, bravo. The house was so small. 247 00:14:03,280 --> 00:14:05,080 (WHISPERS) And dirty. 248 00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:09,520 - It wasn't dirty. - OK. 249 00:14:09,640 --> 00:14:11,560 - It wasn't. - OK. OK. 250 00:14:11,680 --> 00:14:13,240 - It wasn't that small. - OK. 251 00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:17,400 DYMPHNA: Afaf's will? 252 00:14:18,200 --> 00:14:21,040 And what? Has he poor Nancy dressed up as a mummy? 253 00:14:21,160 --> 00:14:23,960 God! Men are thick as paint! Gobshites! 254 00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:29,840 I mean, I like Afaf, but you don't need to wear that yoke to impress her. 255 00:14:30,600 --> 00:14:32,400 I'm sorry, pet, I... 256 00:14:33,320 --> 00:14:37,680 I just mean yous are great girls and you don't need a selling point. 257 00:14:37,800 --> 00:14:39,680 Anybody who thinks you do can just feck off! 258 00:14:39,800 --> 00:14:42,160 Yeah, Giddu says she's sexist. 259 00:14:42,280 --> 00:14:46,280 The whole world's sexist. That's why us girls have to stick together. 260 00:14:46,400 --> 00:14:50,480 - Um... I wanted to give you something. - (PHONE RINGING) 261 00:14:58,240 --> 00:15:02,280 I was, er... I was keeping these for Tracy. 262 00:15:02,400 --> 00:15:03,840 I'm sorry. 263 00:15:03,960 --> 00:15:06,240 (CRYING) Oh, the state of me! 264 00:15:07,920 --> 00:15:11,880 I suppose I've just been thinking a lot about your mum. 265 00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:14,760 My life and... 266 00:15:16,200 --> 00:15:20,240 Yeah, I think maybe I'll go back up to Belfast soon, I've... 267 00:15:21,600 --> 00:15:23,880 ...some business to finalise there. 268 00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:28,120 - Do you want us to go with you...? - No, no. You'd be bored senseless. 269 00:15:29,400 --> 00:15:31,440 God, it's good to see you. 270 00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:36,400 What, did yous have a row or what? 271 00:15:37,360 --> 00:15:39,840 I... I can't remember. 272 00:15:39,960 --> 00:15:42,960 Try telling the truth, Lina. It's great. You don't have to remember anything. 273 00:15:43,080 --> 00:15:46,040 Well, I didn't see Tara a lot when I was going out with Bear. 274 00:15:47,040 --> 00:15:49,880 - It's been hard. We broke up. - Yesterday! 275 00:15:51,040 --> 00:15:53,960 It was awkward with Tara. It's like she's jealous. 276 00:15:54,080 --> 00:15:57,040 Ah, girls, be careful. 277 00:15:57,160 --> 00:16:00,600 Boys will come and go, even the ones that stay, but... 278 00:16:00,720 --> 00:16:03,120 your friends, they're for life. 279 00:16:03,920 --> 00:16:08,520 What about your wee pal, Layla, the chatty fella? 280 00:16:08,640 --> 00:16:11,360 - Markipedia. - Shut up! Lina hates Mark. 281 00:16:11,480 --> 00:16:15,320 I don't hate him. He just never shuts up asking stupid questions. 282 00:16:15,440 --> 00:16:17,640 She's annoyed cos he asked what her five-year plan was 283 00:16:17,760 --> 00:16:19,480 and she said to grow her own vegetables. 284 00:16:19,600 --> 00:16:23,320 I said kombucha mushrooms, and I said I'd like a podcast. 285 00:16:23,440 --> 00:16:27,480 Girls, girls, be good to each other and be good to your friends. 286 00:16:27,600 --> 00:16:30,000 None of it lasts. 287 00:16:30,120 --> 00:16:32,680 Are you sure you're OK? Please come back with us. 288 00:16:32,800 --> 00:16:36,600 No, no. You go and help the lads with Afaf. 289 00:16:37,400 --> 00:16:39,360 And you like the jewellery? 290 00:16:39,480 --> 00:16:41,160 Good. 291 00:16:51,240 --> 00:16:53,400 Oh, he's so handsome. 292 00:16:57,480 --> 00:17:00,040 Why, Gamal, you say that Zein had a little girl? 293 00:17:00,160 --> 00:17:02,720 - You didn't tell her about your brain? - Well... My brain! 294 00:17:02,840 --> 00:17:04,440 His brain, it's like mush, like a desert. 295 00:17:06,800 --> 00:17:10,640 And you know, Mo was saying me Rahim's name is Ruby. 296 00:17:10,760 --> 00:17:12,200 Ah, no. Ruby of his heart. 297 00:17:12,319 --> 00:17:14,359 - Ah. - It's a saying. He says it a lot. 298 00:17:18,160 --> 00:17:21,359 - LAYLA: Why are you wearing that? - Everybody else got a costume. 299 00:17:21,480 --> 00:17:24,920 It's not a costume. This is so offensive on so many levels. 300 00:17:25,040 --> 00:17:27,960 Today's the kind of day you choose which bits to be offended by, Layla. 301 00:17:29,320 --> 00:17:31,760 Like it's so airy. I'm converted. 302 00:17:31,880 --> 00:17:36,560 It's a beautiful galabeya, Cormac. You are Muslim? 303 00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:39,800 "Yani..." 304 00:17:40,360 --> 00:17:43,960 You look ridiculous! You look like Aladdin. He does. 305 00:17:44,080 --> 00:17:46,200 - It's not what it looks like. - Huh. 306 00:17:46,320 --> 00:17:48,160 It's exactly what it looks like. 307 00:17:48,280 --> 00:17:52,920 Because I know a beautiful Egyptian woman. You are married? 308 00:17:53,040 --> 00:17:56,320 (CHUCKLES) At the moment, it's a bit complicated, Aunt Falafel. 309 00:18:00,960 --> 00:18:02,680 - Afaf. Yes. - Afaf. 310 00:18:02,800 --> 00:18:06,360 - So, what do you do? - I'm independently wealthy. 311 00:18:06,480 --> 00:18:08,560 But I'm an accountant by trade. 312 00:18:08,680 --> 00:18:13,040 Ah. And you, Sammie? You're still unemployed? 313 00:18:13,160 --> 00:18:16,080 No, actually. I'm writing for a... 314 00:18:16,200 --> 00:18:18,360 Same, same, Sam! Same, same. 315 00:18:18,480 --> 00:18:21,480 - (DOORBELL) - Jeepers, it's busy today. 316 00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:23,640 It is! It's good to see you. 317 00:18:23,760 --> 00:18:25,240 Lottie! 318 00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:28,760 GAMAL: Lufti! 319 00:18:28,880 --> 00:18:30,840 Lottie, not Lufti! 320 00:18:30,960 --> 00:18:32,920 ZEIN: Can everyone just calm down, please? 321 00:18:33,040 --> 00:18:36,680 Just sit down, please. I'll put that there. It's OK. 322 00:18:37,760 --> 00:18:40,680 - Oh, nice! - Bear, what are you doing here? 323 00:18:40,800 --> 00:18:43,720 I wrote an ode to you, Lina. 324 00:18:44,360 --> 00:18:46,520 "Ally wak-bar" everyone. 325 00:18:46,640 --> 00:18:50,080 - CORMAC: "Shallam shallack", brother! ― Oh, my God! Is it just me? 326 00:18:50,200 --> 00:18:53,400 - No! - Listen, sorry for my intrusion, 327 00:18:53,520 --> 00:18:56,800 but I need you to know, Lina, OK? 328 00:18:57,600 --> 00:18:59,360 I love you, Lina. 329 00:18:59,480 --> 00:19:00,920 Allah! 330 00:19:02,080 --> 00:19:03,240 Bear! 331 00:19:03,360 --> 00:19:06,440 The old me would tell me not to share my feelings. 332 00:19:06,560 --> 00:19:09,600 No, they'd tell me to hide them away 333 00:19:09,720 --> 00:19:13,880 under the shameful shadows of my toxic maleness. 334 00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:16,520 - He's not going to do that, is he? - But the new me... 335 00:19:16,640 --> 00:19:19,520 - He is. - He would say, "Share it all, Bear!" 336 00:19:19,640 --> 00:19:21,120 "Share it all, Bear!" 337 00:19:21,240 --> 00:19:23,960 Yes, yes! Share, Bear! Share! 338 00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:26,320 BEAR: An ode to Lina. 339 00:19:27,440 --> 00:19:29,920 I'm a Bear in the woods 340 00:19:31,080 --> 00:19:32,720 And you're my tree. 341 00:19:32,840 --> 00:19:37,080 I grope on your bark because it's calling to me. 342 00:19:37,840 --> 00:19:41,600 Claw you, devour, animalistic with power 343 00:19:41,720 --> 00:19:46,480 - Your juicy sap on my lips. - (SAM TUTTING) 344 00:19:47,200 --> 00:19:48,280 Lick, lick, lick. 345 00:19:48,960 --> 00:19:52,760 Grasping my heart and my big Bear... 346 00:19:52,880 --> 00:19:55,080 EVERYONE: Whoa! 347 00:19:56,400 --> 00:19:59,640 - Get some air. - That was fantastic. Round of applause. 348 00:19:59,760 --> 00:20:02,560 Very nice. Thank you. 349 00:20:02,680 --> 00:20:07,320 ZEIN: We go take Rahim for a walk now? Yeah? 350 00:20:09,120 --> 00:20:11,320 ZEIN: Sorry about all that back then. 351 00:20:11,440 --> 00:20:14,080 Women? (CHUCKLES) Love? 352 00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:19,800 I am so happy you have a son. 353 00:20:19,920 --> 00:20:23,160 Now the Amin family name can live. 354 00:20:23,280 --> 00:20:26,760 She likes him. She likes him, really. 355 00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:30,400 Bbbbbrrrrr. Brr-brr. (CHUCKLES) 356 00:20:30,520 --> 00:20:32,240 Can I push him? 357 00:20:36,440 --> 00:20:38,440 Sammie's really good with her. Him. 358 00:20:39,600 --> 00:20:41,240 They're really close. 359 00:20:41,360 --> 00:20:44,920 It's good you have your brother. He's just like a woman, yeah? 360 00:20:47,640 --> 00:20:49,640 You know, I like Cormac. 361 00:20:50,600 --> 00:20:54,880 He's funny, he's financially independent. 362 00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:56,680 Just like me. 363 00:20:56,800 --> 00:20:59,280 - Just like you? Oh, really? - Yeah. 364 00:20:59,400 --> 00:21:01,480 Wow, I did not know that. 365 00:21:01,600 --> 00:21:03,160 Look, look! 366 00:21:03,280 --> 00:21:06,920 When we go back to Egypt, I'm going to go and see my cousin, Omar. 367 00:21:07,040 --> 00:21:08,960 He's a big lawyer in Cairo. 368 00:21:10,280 --> 00:21:12,880 Now that I've seen Raheem, I'm sure of it. 369 00:21:15,040 --> 00:21:17,480 I'm going to leave everything to you. 370 00:21:18,520 --> 00:21:20,400 Such a good man. 371 00:21:21,680 --> 00:21:24,160 You're good man, Habibi. You're so good. 372 00:21:24,280 --> 00:21:28,560 And so handsome, just like my father! 373 00:21:33,120 --> 00:21:34,440 Ruby! 374 00:21:34,560 --> 00:21:36,360 - Zein! - Ruby! 375 00:21:39,280 --> 00:21:41,680 (RUBY GIGGLES) 376 00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:43,440 (MAN CRIES OUT) 377 00:21:50,480 --> 00:21:52,440 You nearly bloody killed me! 378 00:21:52,560 --> 00:21:54,880 I'm so sorry. Thank you, though. 379 00:21:55,840 --> 00:21:58,520 - Sorry me arse! - Thank you, thank you. 380 00:21:58,640 --> 00:22:02,600 Tell me knee. (GROANS) You going to pay me doctor? 381 00:22:02,720 --> 00:22:07,240 - It's 80 euro and I live on a pension. - ZEIN: I'll pay. 382 00:22:07,360 --> 00:22:08,760 Rahim! 383 00:22:08,880 --> 00:22:10,480 - She's OK. - She? 384 00:22:10,600 --> 00:22:12,440 (AFAF GROANS) 385 00:22:12,560 --> 00:22:14,280 (RUBY CRIES) 386 00:22:14,400 --> 00:22:16,080 What's happening? 387 00:22:18,160 --> 00:22:21,160 (GAMAL CRYING) 388 00:22:22,920 --> 00:22:26,840 SAM: It's OK. She'll have cooled down by the time she gets on the flight. 389 00:22:31,120 --> 00:22:33,280 Yeah, have some lunch. 390 00:22:33,400 --> 00:22:36,880 GAMAL: (CRYING) How will I explain this to Mo? 391 00:22:41,720 --> 00:22:43,440 Life's too short, man. 392 00:22:44,520 --> 00:22:46,760 Gotta seize those precious moments. 393 00:22:49,360 --> 00:22:50,720 I'll be back in a sec. 394 00:22:51,920 --> 00:22:54,000 ZEIN: Man, I was so close. 395 00:22:54,120 --> 00:22:56,560 She'll never put me in her will now. 396 00:22:56,680 --> 00:22:59,120 - All that Afaff for nothing! - ALL: Cormac! 397 00:22:59,240 --> 00:23:01,480 What? Funny. 398 00:23:04,240 --> 00:23:06,520 - 'Surprise, surprise!' - Hey, Leslie. 399 00:23:06,640 --> 00:23:09,240 - 'Hey!' - So, I was wondering 400 00:23:09,360 --> 00:23:13,040 if you might fancy some food on Saturday. 401 00:23:13,160 --> 00:23:14,920 Not somewhere shite? 402 00:23:15,040 --> 00:23:17,600 'Yeah, er, that might be good.' 403 00:23:17,720 --> 00:23:22,080 OK. Cool. So, say... seven? 404 00:23:22,200 --> 00:23:24,160 'Yeah...' 32246

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