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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:04,920 Astonishing! 2 00:00:05,040 --> 00:00:07,480 - You didn't tell him to shut up once! - Shut up, Mark. 3 00:00:07,600 --> 00:00:09,920 Definitely not able for Cormac shite today. 4 00:00:10,040 --> 00:00:13,160 - I'm Bear, Tara. - He's Bear. 5 00:00:13,280 --> 00:00:15,440 - A pint of Guinness? - "Trashy Amin"? 6 00:00:15,560 --> 00:00:17,560 - Fancy a pint? - Way too soon. 7 00:00:27,080 --> 00:00:31,400 - Yeah, but like, what type of a dress? - I don't know, Lina, just... a dress. 8 00:00:31,520 --> 00:00:34,280 Like... a dress-dress? 9 00:00:35,040 --> 00:00:37,640 Or like a dress-to-impress? 10 00:00:37,760 --> 00:00:39,840 - I'm messing! Oh, my God. - NANCY: Help! 11 00:00:39,960 --> 00:00:41,880 I'll leave some on your bed. 12 00:00:42,720 --> 00:00:45,360 Nancy's stuck in the toilet, again! 13 00:00:45,480 --> 00:00:47,720 Can someone please fix this door? 14 00:00:48,280 --> 00:00:50,320 - I hate this house! - (DOOR SLAMS) 15 00:00:52,280 --> 00:00:55,640 - So, Bawbaw, Valentine's... - What is with Layla? 16 00:00:55,760 --> 00:00:58,440 I don't know. She wants a dress for the disco. 17 00:00:58,560 --> 00:01:01,560 Like a... dress-dress? 18 00:01:01,680 --> 00:01:04,200 See, Valentine's gifts, brah. 19 00:01:05,600 --> 00:01:08,120 (SAM LAUGHS) That's a lot of chocolate! 20 00:01:08,240 --> 00:01:10,040 Yeah, well, what can I say? 21 00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:13,440 Bear likes sweet things! 22 00:01:13,560 --> 00:01:15,760 And I've nothing for Miss Malone. 23 00:01:16,520 --> 00:01:18,400 Do you really need a gift for your teacher? 24 00:01:18,520 --> 00:01:21,160 - Yes. - Is that not a little bit sucky? 25 00:01:21,280 --> 00:01:25,280 No, I need a gift. And please write the card. 26 00:01:25,400 --> 00:01:29,200 - She'll know my handwriting. - Grab some from Lina's bag! 27 00:01:29,320 --> 00:01:32,600 Go on! Bear's got, like, ten boxes of chocolate in there. 28 00:01:32,720 --> 00:01:35,680 If it was me, I wouldn't mind giving Miss Malone one, right? 29 00:01:35,800 --> 00:01:39,120 - Quickly, put them in your bag! - (KNOCK ON DOOR) 30 00:01:39,240 --> 00:01:43,200 Ustaz Lovey-Loverson! Excited for the big boys' night tonight? 31 00:01:43,320 --> 00:01:47,120 Only schoolgirls and morons get excited about Valentine's. 32 00:01:47,240 --> 00:01:49,800 ♪ It's here! The greatest day of the year! ♪ 33 00:01:49,920 --> 00:01:52,240 - Happy Valentine's Day, everyone! - Exhibit A. 34 00:01:52,360 --> 00:01:54,840 - Happy Valentine's Day, Uncle Cormac. - (CLICKS HIS TONGUE) 35 00:01:54,960 --> 00:01:56,640 (CLICKS HER TONGUE) 36 00:01:56,760 --> 00:02:00,200 You may go to the ball because the guest list for The Vault is sorted. 37 00:02:00,320 --> 00:02:03,440 - Do me! - And you shall go to the ball, dearest. 38 00:02:03,560 --> 00:02:06,080 - Dymphna's boxed off to babysit, too. - Yes, pal. 39 00:02:06,200 --> 00:02:09,080 - This one, Bawbaw? - Yeah, yummy. Yum, yum, yum. 40 00:02:09,199 --> 00:02:11,440 That there are my favourite. And here... 41 00:02:11,560 --> 00:02:13,040 Go! 42 00:02:13,160 --> 00:02:16,840 ZEIN: Those lucky ladies, man. It's been a while! 43 00:02:16,960 --> 00:02:19,680 - I'm so excited. - Why? When was the last time you had sex? 44 00:02:19,800 --> 00:02:22,640 With someone? Four months, 11 days. 45 00:02:22,760 --> 00:02:24,840 Jeez, I'm so sorry, pal. 46 00:02:25,680 --> 00:02:27,080 - Are you OK? - Yeah. 47 00:02:27,200 --> 00:02:29,880 Are you two OK? Seriously. 48 00:02:31,800 --> 00:02:33,840 We're not all sexless like you, Sam! 49 00:02:33,960 --> 00:02:36,920 CORMAC: Please don't purge people's healthy sexual energy, Sam. 50 00:02:37,040 --> 00:02:39,400 It's very toxic, pal. You're a bit anti-sex. 51 00:02:39,520 --> 00:02:43,480 I'm not anti-sex. And I don't purge people's sexual energy! 52 00:02:43,600 --> 00:02:47,440 Yeah, you do. You're like the Sexorcist. 53 00:02:47,560 --> 00:02:49,440 Don't worry, Zein. It's Valentine's. 54 00:02:49,560 --> 00:02:52,480 - Women are desperate for love. - Desperado. 55 00:02:52,600 --> 00:02:56,120 Yeah, yeah. They're desperados? You two are desperate. 56 00:02:56,240 --> 00:02:58,520 - Stay back. - You stay back. 57 00:03:00,240 --> 00:03:02,800 Poo kite! 58 00:03:02,920 --> 00:03:05,360 Anime club. Art Attack. 59 00:03:05,480 --> 00:03:08,320 - Basketball, coding, drama. - Poo kite! 60 00:03:08,440 --> 00:03:11,920 And, er... What else? Jujitsu. 61 00:03:12,040 --> 00:03:14,640 SAM: Jesus, Clive. You memorise them in alphabetical order? 62 00:03:14,760 --> 00:03:17,080 - Poo kite! - Good lad. Here, eat this. 63 00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:24,360 - And he's starting Mandarin. - Really? Him? 64 00:03:26,080 --> 00:03:29,320 - MISS MALONE: Excuse me, Mr Amin. May I? - See you later, Clive. 65 00:03:31,880 --> 00:03:34,560 - Looked like you needed saving. - Thank you, thank you. 66 00:03:34,680 --> 00:03:36,440 Con's learning Mandarin. 67 00:03:36,560 --> 00:03:38,920 MISS MALONE: Learning how to eat a mandarin might be more useful. 68 00:03:39,040 --> 00:03:41,080 (LAUGHS) You're very funny. 69 00:03:41,200 --> 00:03:45,680 Thank you. No other compliments for a girl on Valentine's Day? 70 00:03:45,800 --> 00:03:49,320 Well, you've a very tiny symmetrical face 71 00:03:49,440 --> 00:03:54,160 and your hair looks very smooth and resistant to static electricity. 72 00:03:54,280 --> 00:03:57,000 - Sorry. - (LAUGHING) OK! Oh, Sam. 73 00:03:57,120 --> 00:04:00,720 My bestie, Ciara's, down from Derry and, well, we're both single... 74 00:04:00,840 --> 00:04:03,560 - Really? - Yeah, I know, shocking! 75 00:04:03,680 --> 00:04:06,440 Anyway, I don't really know the city 76 00:04:06,560 --> 00:04:11,200 and I've no friends here and she loves cocktails and it's Valentine's... 77 00:04:11,320 --> 00:04:13,600 - Are you asking me...? - Yeah. 78 00:04:13,720 --> 00:04:16,360 Would you and your Cormac know of a nice wee club? 79 00:04:16,480 --> 00:04:20,399 - Somewhere where you and your friends go? - We're going to The Vault tonight. 80 00:04:20,519 --> 00:04:23,920 - Oh, class. Maybe see you there? - Yeah. 81 00:04:24,040 --> 00:04:25,960 It doesn't matter we're not gay or anything does it? 82 00:04:26,080 --> 00:04:28,080 I wouldn't think so, no. 83 00:04:28,200 --> 00:04:31,960 - OK. - Poo kite! 84 00:04:33,320 --> 00:04:34,400 Mandarin? 85 00:04:34,520 --> 00:04:37,520 As if China doesn't have enough problems. I'll see you later. 86 00:04:49,480 --> 00:04:51,680 (PHONE RINGING) 87 00:04:52,880 --> 00:04:54,720 Bear, I said I'd call her back. 88 00:04:54,840 --> 00:04:57,640 Don't worry about her. She is jealous. 89 00:04:58,400 --> 00:05:02,360 She knows it's Valentine's and she's calling you. I mean, come on, Lina. 90 00:05:02,480 --> 00:05:04,160 We're best friends. 91 00:05:04,280 --> 00:05:06,160 I'm your best friend! 92 00:05:08,720 --> 00:05:13,000 Listen, I do love my jumper, but you know... 93 00:05:14,200 --> 00:05:18,880 ...personally, I could never endorse those capitalists by buying their wares. 94 00:05:20,080 --> 00:05:23,840 I... I don't either. I only bought it because I thought you'd like it. 95 00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:29,480 - Ah, fuck! I sound ungrateful now. - Stop, no, you don't. 96 00:05:29,600 --> 00:05:31,400 It's how they get you, though, right? 97 00:05:32,240 --> 00:05:35,960 Seduce you with Christmas or Valentine's. 98 00:05:36,080 --> 00:05:38,640 Erupting all your emotions 99 00:05:38,760 --> 00:05:40,840 so you're left standing there, 100 00:05:40,960 --> 00:05:43,200 sipping spiced lattes. 101 00:05:45,080 --> 00:05:47,600 Those little Guatemalan children. 102 00:05:49,240 --> 00:05:50,760 The poor fuckers. 103 00:05:52,680 --> 00:05:55,920 CHLOE: Right, so that's it? Off we go, guys. 104 00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:07,480 Eoin, this character Vince's job. 105 00:06:07,600 --> 00:06:11,960 Like what actually is an "augmented reality journey builder"? 106 00:06:12,080 --> 00:06:16,360 Well, he designs the experience. You know, bringing the AR scenes to life. 107 00:06:16,480 --> 00:06:18,960 Right, yeah. W... Where? 108 00:06:19,080 --> 00:06:21,640 - Online. - On the internet? 109 00:06:21,760 --> 00:06:24,920 No. (LAUGHING) No, not on the internet. 110 00:06:25,040 --> 00:06:29,320 Look, augmented reality is superimposing computer generated objects. 111 00:06:29,440 --> 00:06:31,800 So that when look at your phone, 112 00:06:31,920 --> 00:06:34,080 it feels like you're actually looking at these objects. 113 00:06:34,200 --> 00:06:37,800 In real? You think I'm a fucking eejit, don't you? 114 00:06:38,400 --> 00:06:40,800 No, no. My dad's much worse. 115 00:06:40,920 --> 00:06:43,680 Still pronounces the Ls in "tortillas". 116 00:06:43,800 --> 00:06:46,560 - Like your jeans. - They're crops. 117 00:06:48,760 --> 00:06:52,320 "The internet?" Fucking knob! 118 00:06:54,720 --> 00:06:56,920 - I don't think I'll bother with tonight. - No? 119 00:06:57,040 --> 00:06:59,840 Yeah, I'm tired and I've nothing to wear anyway. 120 00:06:59,960 --> 00:07:03,200 Borrow something from Lina. She has like the best drip ever. 121 00:07:03,320 --> 00:07:06,360 Well, she doesn't wear one of these. Nothing goes with it, ever. 122 00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:10,840 - Well, do you have to wear it? - I don't HAVE to wear it. 123 00:07:10,960 --> 00:07:15,600 It's a choice. I don't WANT to wear it, but I want to wear it. 124 00:07:15,720 --> 00:07:17,560 - Do you get me? - Loud and clear. 125 00:07:17,680 --> 00:07:19,920 "Never put passion in front of principle. 126 00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:22,840 - "Even if you win, you lose." - Your mum or the Karate Kid? 127 00:07:22,960 --> 00:07:25,200 I'm gonna go with... your mum. 128 00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:28,800 - Karate Kid. Jelly? - They have pork in them. 129 00:07:29,560 --> 00:07:31,720 You know, if you don't go, 130 00:07:31,840 --> 00:07:33,320 I'm not going either. 131 00:07:33,440 --> 00:07:35,720 I only have fun when you're around, anyways. 132 00:07:35,840 --> 00:07:37,400 You could come to mine. 133 00:07:37,520 --> 00:07:40,440 My mum says we can have a big dirty takeaway any time we like. 134 00:07:40,560 --> 00:07:44,640 YOUSSEF: Hey, Mark, mind if I talk to Layla for a minute? 135 00:07:52,440 --> 00:07:54,120 Hey, so... What's up? 136 00:08:11,560 --> 00:08:12,560 (GROANS) 137 00:08:15,200 --> 00:08:17,800 I don't like this, I feel like a prisoner! 138 00:08:17,920 --> 00:08:20,680 Stop moaning. It's for emergencies. 139 00:08:20,800 --> 00:08:23,560 When you press it, it'll only contact me or Sammie anyway! 140 00:08:27,000 --> 00:08:29,840 You make me melt. I love this age. 141 00:08:32,360 --> 00:08:35,840 Why no one's asking me to be a baby minder? Baby loves me. 142 00:08:37,240 --> 00:08:39,840 - What are you even doing? - I'm thinking. 143 00:08:39,960 --> 00:08:46,480 Well, Mr Thinker, you can sit around the whole day thinking, but I see you, Zein. 144 00:08:46,600 --> 00:08:48,640 I have eyes like a hawk. 145 00:08:48,760 --> 00:08:53,400 Look at him, sitting there with his legs on the chair. 146 00:08:53,520 --> 00:08:55,600 Are you waiting for someone to paint you? 147 00:08:58,240 --> 00:08:59,200 Enough! 148 00:08:59,320 --> 00:09:02,960 This is my way of getting my head around the character, all right? It's my process. 149 00:09:03,080 --> 00:09:07,080 Oh, maybe try and give him a real job, this character? 150 00:09:07,720 --> 00:09:11,600 - And help us with paying the bills? - I will pay the bills. 151 00:09:11,720 --> 00:09:13,840 I'll have you know that my new series, Crown Of Thorns, 152 00:09:13,960 --> 00:09:15,920 will be premiering this May in America. 153 00:09:16,040 --> 00:09:18,600 - Is it any good? - It's shite, but that's not the point. 154 00:09:18,720 --> 00:09:20,720 - The point is America. - America! 155 00:09:20,840 --> 00:09:25,920 A miracle is what you need, my friend. Get a real life. Get a real job! 156 00:09:27,040 --> 00:09:28,480 I'm done. 157 00:09:34,440 --> 00:09:36,360 (SCHOOL BELL RINGING) 158 00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:39,280 MISS MALONE: I'll see you after lunch. 159 00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:54,920 Oh, wow! Is that for me? 160 00:09:55,040 --> 00:09:56,800 It's from a secret admirer. 161 00:09:56,920 --> 00:10:00,240 - How exciting. - It might or might not be from my dad. 162 00:10:01,800 --> 00:10:05,080 - Did he ask you to give me this? - Well, I can't really say. 163 00:10:05,200 --> 00:10:09,720 But I told him it was Valentine's Day and he said he wouldn't mind giving you one. 164 00:10:10,920 --> 00:10:13,360 Bawbaw said that they're really yummy, and they're his favourite. 165 00:10:13,480 --> 00:10:15,960 Happy Valentine's Day, Miss Malone. (CLICKS HER TONGUE) 166 00:10:28,920 --> 00:10:32,880 Really, I'm sick of all of them treating me like a baby. 167 00:10:33,720 --> 00:10:37,800 The lads are just worried for you, Gamal and no wonder at our age. 168 00:10:40,120 --> 00:10:42,640 Do you ever get the feeling your life was just a dream? 169 00:10:42,760 --> 00:10:47,880 I mean, I know I did all these things. 170 00:10:49,720 --> 00:10:52,200 I went to all these different places. 171 00:10:53,880 --> 00:10:55,400 And I raised these children. 172 00:10:58,480 --> 00:11:02,280 And it all went by so fast, too fast to hang on to. 173 00:11:05,160 --> 00:11:07,720 So, why do I feel invisible? 174 00:11:08,760 --> 00:11:11,760 Well... because you... 175 00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:15,000 we... we are old. 176 00:11:18,360 --> 00:11:21,200 Yeah, yeah. That's my reality. 177 00:11:21,320 --> 00:11:23,760 Look, do you mind babysitting for the boys? 178 00:11:23,880 --> 00:11:26,040 I've got a headache coming on. 179 00:11:38,800 --> 00:11:40,320 (TAP-TAP) 180 00:11:40,440 --> 00:11:42,520 - Hey! - Hey. 181 00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:46,400 - Sorry, do you mind if I just...? - No. No. 182 00:11:46,520 --> 00:11:47,880 Let's see. 183 00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:49,400 Right. 184 00:11:53,960 --> 00:11:56,800 - It's just the second pass. - No, it's super. 185 00:11:56,920 --> 00:11:58,760 - I love it. - Really? 186 00:11:59,800 --> 00:12:03,320 Look, I just wanted to have a word with you. 187 00:12:03,440 --> 00:12:05,840 Obviously, the team is very young. 188 00:12:06,480 --> 00:12:10,120 And we don't have your... experience. 189 00:12:10,240 --> 00:12:14,040 Oh, well, the notes you gave me on Islam Dunk, they were dead-on. 190 00:12:14,160 --> 00:12:17,040 You're... You're a great producer. 191 00:12:17,160 --> 00:12:18,840 I really value your input. 192 00:12:18,960 --> 00:12:21,080 And I really value you, Sam. 193 00:12:21,200 --> 00:12:23,520 Your hands-on maturity, your depth. 194 00:12:24,480 --> 00:12:27,160 - Oh, so sorry! - (GROANS) 195 00:12:29,880 --> 00:12:30,920 Thanks. 196 00:12:32,120 --> 00:12:35,720 - God, what a day! - Mm. So, where are you rushing off to? 197 00:12:35,840 --> 00:12:40,280 - Nowhere. Just home, the kids. - Ah! No Valentine's date for Daddy? 198 00:12:40,400 --> 00:12:43,920 Me? Nah, just getting a bit old for all that. 199 00:12:44,040 --> 00:12:46,920 Well, then, if you're free, do you fancy having a bite with me? 200 00:12:47,560 --> 00:12:50,640 We can discuss Islam Dunk. You can really fill me in. 201 00:12:51,640 --> 00:12:54,200 - See how we progress from there. - Mm? 202 00:12:55,040 --> 00:12:57,720 Er... Well... I would, but... 203 00:12:58,600 --> 00:12:59,880 But what? 204 00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:02,320 Don't you like eating out? 205 00:13:02,440 --> 00:13:05,720 Kinda watching what I eat at the moment, to be honest. 206 00:13:07,160 --> 00:13:09,840 But we'll do it... We'll do it again. 207 00:13:10,560 --> 00:13:13,040 - Great day. Thanks, Chloe. - Uh-huh. 208 00:13:14,440 --> 00:13:18,480 I left my pen. It's a good one, but... I'll get another one. 209 00:13:19,240 --> 00:13:20,680 - Bye, Chloe. - Bye. 210 00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:22,080 Bye, everyone. 211 00:13:24,320 --> 00:13:25,880 (BIRDSONG) 212 00:13:37,560 --> 00:13:39,040 SAM: Layla! 213 00:13:39,840 --> 00:13:41,880 Layla. (KNOCK ON DOOR) 214 00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:43,960 Can you not hear me calling you? 215 00:13:44,080 --> 00:13:45,920 - Da-amn! - What? 216 00:13:47,560 --> 00:13:49,560 - Bawbaw, what? - You look beautiful. 217 00:13:49,680 --> 00:13:52,640 Sorry, I've never seen you wearing make-up before. 218 00:13:52,760 --> 00:13:54,600 Look at my eyes. I look like a fly. 219 00:13:56,240 --> 00:13:58,120 Go on. There's my face, make a joke about it. 220 00:13:58,240 --> 00:14:01,640 I think the last thing your face needs is another shitty one-liner. 221 00:14:04,880 --> 00:14:07,600 Layla, no one is making you dress a certain way. 222 00:14:07,720 --> 00:14:10,600 - Aren't they? - No, they aren't. 223 00:14:15,720 --> 00:14:17,400 Stop being so hard on yourself. 224 00:14:17,520 --> 00:14:20,200 You're just figuring things out. 225 00:14:20,320 --> 00:14:22,560 You wouldn't understand. It's different for me. 226 00:14:22,680 --> 00:14:26,440 Um... Sorry to break it to you - it's not. 227 00:14:26,560 --> 00:14:27,960 Look... 228 00:14:29,720 --> 00:14:32,200 I'm going on my first boys' night in years. 229 00:14:32,320 --> 00:14:36,000 You don't think I feel uncomfortable? I came in to ask YOU what I should wear. 230 00:14:38,520 --> 00:14:42,000 I can't be Zein or Cormac. Hamdullah! 231 00:14:43,440 --> 00:14:45,400 I just have to be me. 232 00:14:46,320 --> 00:14:51,400 Truth is, I don't care if you wear a hijab or a bucket hat. 233 00:14:52,680 --> 00:14:54,320 Whatever. 234 00:14:54,440 --> 00:14:56,240 I love YOU. 235 00:15:05,480 --> 00:15:08,760 "You look great, Bawbaw, by the way." "Thanks, Layla. So sweet of you." 236 00:15:08,880 --> 00:15:10,400 (DOOR CLOSES) 237 00:15:11,080 --> 00:15:13,160 (PHONE RINGING) 238 00:15:55,600 --> 00:15:58,520 I'm not paying for food. You're late. 239 00:15:59,280 --> 00:16:01,240 Er... I'm not a delivery man. 240 00:16:01,360 --> 00:16:05,800 Good for you, cos I didn't order any food. What do you want? Who are you? 241 00:16:05,920 --> 00:16:07,840 - Layla. - You're Layla? 242 00:16:07,960 --> 00:16:10,280 - Youssef. - And you want Layla? What for? 243 00:16:10,400 --> 00:16:11,800 Disco? 244 00:16:11,920 --> 00:16:14,200 - How do you know my Layla? - Er... school? 245 00:16:14,320 --> 00:16:16,880 What's wrong with you? You only speak in one words? 246 00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:19,760 Layla. Disco. School. Are you simples? 247 00:16:19,880 --> 00:16:23,240 NANCY: Help, help! Uncle Gamal! 248 00:16:23,360 --> 00:16:25,960 You're not going anywhere. You stay here. 249 00:16:26,080 --> 00:16:27,640 Stay here. 250 00:16:29,120 --> 00:16:31,320 Stay here, and don't move, huh? 251 00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:34,400 Otherwise I make shawarma out of you. 252 00:16:37,040 --> 00:16:39,120 (GAMAL GROANS) 253 00:16:40,280 --> 00:16:44,400 Oh, darling, how many times I told you, habibti? 254 00:16:44,520 --> 00:16:48,240 Don't take Lottie to the toilet. It's disgusting! 255 00:16:48,360 --> 00:16:52,480 - In Egypt we kill these things. - I'm sorry. Please don't kill her. 256 00:16:53,720 --> 00:16:55,920 LAYLA: Tell him I'm coming, Uncle Gamal. 257 00:16:57,560 --> 00:17:00,040 Well, she's coming. 258 00:17:01,840 --> 00:17:03,400 No funny business. 259 00:17:03,520 --> 00:17:09,440 Cos anything you do to her, I do to you! OK? 260 00:17:10,560 --> 00:17:12,720 Not really, but... 261 00:17:12,839 --> 00:17:14,319 OK. 262 00:17:14,440 --> 00:17:16,240 (DOOR OPENS) 263 00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:19,480 YOUSSEF: Wow. You look so beautiful, Layla. 264 00:17:21,240 --> 00:17:23,760 Looky-looky, now you can't shut up, hey? 265 00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:35,920 OK, let's go, troops. Are we collecting Mark? 266 00:17:36,040 --> 00:17:40,080 No, he's not going. I won't be late, Uncle Gamal. Youssef's mum's gonna drop us home. 267 00:17:43,240 --> 00:17:45,280 Remember, I have eyes like a hawk. 268 00:17:46,840 --> 00:17:48,800 Anything you do... 269 00:17:53,760 --> 00:17:55,400 Ma'a al-salem. 270 00:17:57,680 --> 00:17:59,880 (MUSIC POUNDING) 271 00:18:04,480 --> 00:18:07,200 - ZEIN: Fuck's sake, Cormac! - SAM: He's not answering. 272 00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:09,600 Let's just go. We've been here ages. 273 00:18:09,720 --> 00:18:12,920 - You're joking, right? - I know a nice Mexican round the corner. 274 00:18:13,040 --> 00:18:14,880 - Does she have a sister? - (MIMICS ZEIN) 275 00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:18,200 That's why you're not getting lucky. Honestly, wreaks of desperation. 276 00:18:18,320 --> 00:18:20,280 CORMAC: Yo! What's happening? 277 00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:23,720 - Me and you are pals, right? - There he is. 278 00:18:25,440 --> 00:18:28,080 - Cormac! What the fuck, man? - Zein! 279 00:18:28,200 --> 00:18:31,280 - WOMEN: Time for shots! - You're not going to believe this. 280 00:18:31,400 --> 00:18:33,640 - Cormy! - Yes? 281 00:18:33,760 --> 00:18:36,840 - Where did you go? - I'm here. Zein. 282 00:18:36,960 --> 00:18:40,200 This is Renee. No. Yeah. You're Renee. 283 00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:43,640 And this is Tanya, her girlfriend. You hear what I just said? Girlfriend. 284 00:18:43,760 --> 00:18:47,040 - I like to call her Tonya... - Sammie! 285 00:18:47,160 --> 00:18:48,920 CORMAC: Because she's very posh. 286 00:18:49,040 --> 00:18:51,960 DOORMAN: Ladies, can you take your drinks back inside, please? 287 00:18:52,080 --> 00:18:55,040 You need to move away from the door. Move to the back of the queue, please. 288 00:18:55,160 --> 00:18:58,160 - No, we're with him. - They're with me. 289 00:18:58,280 --> 00:19:01,000 - ID? - (ZEIN LAUGHS) 290 00:19:01,120 --> 00:19:03,880 You're joking, right? Have you seen his face? 291 00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:06,800 You're required to have identification. 292 00:19:06,920 --> 00:19:10,120 You think we went through puberty when I was, like, four? 293 00:19:10,240 --> 00:19:12,640 - No ID, you're not getting in. - ZEIN: This is ridiculous. 294 00:19:12,760 --> 00:19:14,960 - Listen, Wreck-It Ralph... - I'll deal with this. 295 00:19:15,080 --> 00:19:17,480 My good man, listen, this is my brother. 296 00:19:17,600 --> 00:19:19,920 - He doesn't have identification. - Sorry. 297 00:19:20,040 --> 00:19:25,440 He's sorry. But he will happily present his testicles as a form of identification. 298 00:19:25,560 --> 00:19:27,760 I'm serious, because you'll find they're very long 299 00:19:27,880 --> 00:19:30,520 and, more importantly, they're very old. 300 00:19:30,640 --> 00:19:34,720 - So, show him your droopy balls, Sammie. - I'm going. 301 00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:38,280 - Show him your droopy balls, Sammie. - Look, mate, I'm taking my droopy balls 302 00:19:38,400 --> 00:19:40,520 - and I'm going home, Cormac. - Go to the back of the queue. 303 00:19:40,640 --> 00:19:46,400 - Show him your droopy balls, Sammie! - ZEIN: Cormac! Cormac, ssh! 304 00:19:51,520 --> 00:19:53,920 MISS MALONE: (SLURRED) You're a filthy bastard! 305 00:19:54,040 --> 00:19:58,600 Miss Malone! Well, you look... You look lovely. 306 00:19:58,720 --> 00:20:01,680 Don't "Miss Malone" me, you. Ciara, that's him! 307 00:20:01,800 --> 00:20:03,840 CIARA: Who? Not yer man? 308 00:20:03,960 --> 00:20:06,440 The gay sweetie G-string guy? 309 00:20:06,560 --> 00:20:09,080 (CIARA LAUGHS) 310 00:20:09,200 --> 00:20:11,040 Think you won the golden ticket, did you? 311 00:20:11,160 --> 00:20:13,280 - Willy Wanker! - (SAM LAUGHS) 312 00:20:14,160 --> 00:20:16,840 - She's fun! - How could you, Sam? 313 00:20:16,960 --> 00:20:20,680 You said you were gay. You should be ashamed of yourself. 314 00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:22,680 I never said I was gay! 315 00:20:24,280 --> 00:20:25,560 Dirty boy. 316 00:20:25,680 --> 00:20:28,560 Dirty, dirty boy! 317 00:20:30,120 --> 00:20:32,680 - Who's your friend? - It's my brother, Zein. 318 00:20:32,800 --> 00:20:35,480 Gay or nay, he can eat my knickers any time. 319 00:20:35,600 --> 00:20:40,360 Sadly, I'm not wearing any tonight. So, no starter for him! 320 00:20:40,480 --> 00:20:42,800 SAM: You OK? 321 00:20:42,920 --> 00:20:45,240 - (RETCHING) - Ooh! 322 00:20:45,360 --> 00:20:47,640 Look at what you did now! 323 00:20:47,760 --> 00:20:50,760 - You've upset Ciara! - I didn't do anything! 324 00:20:50,880 --> 00:20:56,000 I thought you were my handsome, funny gay dad friend, but it was all a lie! 325 00:20:56,120 --> 00:21:01,840 I wish you'd stop saying I'm gay... Wait. Sorry, you think I'm handsome? 326 00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:04,920 Well, I did, till you turned wee Nancy into your super pimp. 327 00:21:05,040 --> 00:21:08,520 - What are you talking about? - Edible knickers, Sam? 328 00:21:08,640 --> 00:21:12,440 I like a bit of filth as well as the next girl, but that is just... 329 00:21:12,560 --> 00:21:14,280 CIARA: So sick! 330 00:21:14,400 --> 00:21:16,240 - Well, it's not sick... - No... 331 00:21:17,080 --> 00:21:19,000 Ooh! 332 00:21:19,120 --> 00:21:22,240 - (PHONE RINGS) - Sorry, don't go anywhere, yeah? 333 00:21:24,640 --> 00:21:27,520 Hello... Yeah, yeah, that's me. 334 00:21:28,800 --> 00:21:30,920 Yeah, that's my uncle, sadly. 335 00:21:32,120 --> 00:21:33,120 What? 336 00:21:33,240 --> 00:21:36,840 Sorry, go back. What emergency services were called? 337 00:21:45,320 --> 00:21:46,920 Oh, God. 338 00:21:51,600 --> 00:21:53,280 (BABY CRYING) 339 00:21:54,600 --> 00:21:57,120 Shit! Look at the door! 340 00:21:58,160 --> 00:22:01,120 - I said no fuss! - (RUBY CRYING) 341 00:22:01,240 --> 00:22:04,800 - And you told me only call you. - SAM: Are you OK? 342 00:22:04,920 --> 00:22:07,560 - What happened? - The stupid toilet door. 343 00:22:07,680 --> 00:22:09,640 - Where's Nancy? - It's OK, she's sleeping. 344 00:22:09,760 --> 00:22:12,160 - Yeah, I very much doubt that. - GAMAL: What do you mean? 345 00:22:12,280 --> 00:22:14,280 I have eyes like hawk! 346 00:22:14,880 --> 00:22:16,880 - Zein Amin, I see everything. - Thank you. 347 00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:18,600 Give me the baby. 348 00:22:18,720 --> 00:22:20,440 (PHONE CHIMES) 349 00:22:23,720 --> 00:22:26,640 CORMAC: 'Pal... Bawbaw! I'm not coming home. 350 00:22:26,760 --> 00:22:29,200 'I'm in Tanya and Renee's toilet. 351 00:22:29,320 --> 00:22:33,080 'I think they want to have sex, because they said they want to have sex. 352 00:22:33,200 --> 00:22:37,520 'It's great, best day ever. OK, bye. Oh, don't tell Mam!' 353 00:22:37,640 --> 00:22:40,720 What the fuck? Sex with both of them? 354 00:22:40,840 --> 00:22:42,400 (PHONE CHIMES) 355 00:22:42,520 --> 00:22:45,840 - What? He sent pictures? - No, it's a text from Nancy's teacher. 356 00:22:45,960 --> 00:22:48,360 - God, it's filthy. - Yeah? What are you thinking? 357 00:22:48,480 --> 00:22:49,840 Her spelling is atrocious! 358 00:22:53,640 --> 00:22:55,200 I got this, tha... 359 00:23:05,920 --> 00:23:07,080 "Ally Akbar". 360 00:23:15,000 --> 00:23:16,400 Hawk eyes, my arse. 361 00:23:17,000 --> 00:23:18,680 SAM: Lina! 28877

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