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1
00:00:01,168 --> 00:00:04,119
Cheers is filmed before
a live studio audience.
2
00:00:05,155 --> 00:00:06,521
Hi, everybody.
3
00:00:06,556 --> 00:00:08,718
Hey. Hey, Sam.
4
00:00:08,742 --> 00:00:09,952
Where is Rebecca?
5
00:00:09,976 --> 00:00:11,243
In her office. Why?
6
00:00:11,278 --> 00:00:14,078
Ah, today's the day a certain
chestnut brown-haired beauty
7
00:00:14,114 --> 00:00:17,315
is gonna succumb to
the charms of Sammy.
8
00:00:20,020 --> 00:00:22,388
Laugh if you will, but
according to my calculations,
9
00:00:22,423 --> 00:00:23,755
the timing is perfect.
10
00:00:23,791 --> 00:00:26,324
I waited long enough for
her to get over Evan Drake,
11
00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:27,626
but not long enough for her
12
00:00:27,661 --> 00:00:29,895
to build up her
resistance again.
13
00:00:29,930 --> 00:00:31,663
The way I see it,
14
00:00:31,698 --> 00:00:32,848
I got about a half-hour
15
00:00:32,883 --> 00:00:34,363
window of opportunity
opening up here.
16
00:00:35,469 --> 00:00:37,469
I'm telling you, boys,
Rebecca Howe is mine.
17
00:00:39,873 --> 00:00:41,973
Sammy! Sammy! Sammy!
18
00:00:45,913 --> 00:00:46,956
Yes?
19
00:00:46,980 --> 00:00:49,481
Ooh, he's got her
saying, "yes," already, ooh!
20
00:00:51,618 --> 00:00:53,530
Not a devout nun's prayer.
21
00:00:53,554 --> 00:00:55,987
No, sir.
22
00:00:59,026 --> 00:01:01,576
♪ Making your way
in the world today ♪
23
00:01:01,611 --> 00:01:04,479
♪ Takes everything you've got ♪
24
00:01:04,514 --> 00:01:07,215
♪ Taking a break
from all your worries ♪
25
00:01:07,251 --> 00:01:10,551
♪ Sure would help a lot ♪
26
00:01:10,587 --> 00:01:16,458
♪ Wouldn't you
like to get away? ♪
27
00:01:16,493 --> 00:01:19,445
♪ Sometimes you want to go ♪
28
00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:23,148
♪ Where everybody
knows your name ♪
29
00:01:23,183 --> 00:01:27,953
♪ And they're always
glad you came ♪
30
00:01:27,988 --> 00:01:31,122
♪ You want to be
where you can see ♪
31
00:01:31,158 --> 00:01:34,225
♪ Our troubles
are all the same ♪
32
00:01:34,261 --> 00:01:37,763
♪ You want to be where
everybody knows your name ♪
33
00:01:37,798 --> 00:01:41,199
♪ You want to go
where people know ♪
34
00:01:41,234 --> 00:01:44,502
♪ People are all the same ♪
35
00:01:44,538 --> 00:01:48,707
♪ You want to go where
everybody knows your name. ♪
36
00:02:09,346 --> 00:02:10,979
So what you got there?
37
00:02:11,015 --> 00:02:13,015
A Mercedes catalog. Oh.
38
00:02:13,050 --> 00:02:14,627
I'm thinking of getting one.
39
00:02:14,651 --> 00:02:16,585
Yeah, I hear good things
about those Cadillacs.
40
00:02:18,188 --> 00:02:19,899
What, you got a
raise or something?
41
00:02:19,923 --> 00:02:21,106
No.
42
00:02:21,141 --> 00:02:22,619
I can only afford
the cheapest model,
43
00:02:22,643 --> 00:02:25,377
and I have to give
up lunches until I...
44
00:02:25,412 --> 00:02:27,429
Well, I have to give up lunches.
45
00:02:27,464 --> 00:02:29,681
But it will still be a Mercedes.
46
00:02:29,717 --> 00:02:31,133
Speaking of Mercedes.
47
00:02:31,168 --> 00:02:34,936
I'm kind of known as
the Mercedes of guys.
48
00:02:34,972 --> 00:02:36,237
Really?
49
00:02:36,272 --> 00:02:38,473
I always thought you were
more of a cheap pickup
50
00:02:38,508 --> 00:02:40,091
with a headlight missing.
51
00:02:41,127 --> 00:02:43,306
Did you want something, Sam?
52
00:02:43,330 --> 00:02:44,696
Rebecca...
53
00:02:44,731 --> 00:02:46,431
how long have we
known each other?
54
00:02:46,466 --> 00:02:48,244
No, I will not go out with you.
55
00:02:48,268 --> 00:02:49,684
Hey, what...
56
00:02:49,719 --> 00:02:52,087
what makes you think that I
was gonna ask you for a date?
57
00:02:52,122 --> 00:02:53,566
You must really think
you look hot tonight.
58
00:02:53,590 --> 00:02:55,524
Then why did you come in here?
59
00:02:55,559 --> 00:02:56,808
Well, I was, uh...
60
00:02:56,844 --> 00:02:58,371
gonna compliment
you on your blouse.
61
00:02:58,395 --> 00:03:00,095
That's a very pretty blouse.
62
00:03:00,130 --> 00:03:02,041
Well, we haven't seen
each other today until now.
63
00:03:02,065 --> 00:03:04,260
How did you know I'd
be wearing this one?
64
00:03:04,284 --> 00:03:06,535
I was hoping you
were gonna wear it.
65
00:03:06,570 --> 00:03:08,297
It's always been
my favorite blouse.
66
00:03:08,321 --> 00:03:10,499
It's brand-new; it's the
first time I've worn it.
67
00:03:10,523 --> 00:03:12,569
I'm working part-time in
department store security.
68
00:03:12,593 --> 00:03:14,742
I was in the store
when you bought it.
69
00:03:14,778 --> 00:03:16,110
I bought it mail order.
70
00:03:16,146 --> 00:03:18,580
I drove the truck that
delivered it to your house.
71
00:03:18,615 --> 00:03:20,649
One date... come on, please?
72
00:03:20,684 --> 00:03:21,983
What, is this gonna kill you?
73
00:03:22,018 --> 00:03:23,585
Men. You're all alike.
74
00:03:23,620 --> 00:03:25,186
Nothing but users, and takers,
75
00:03:25,222 --> 00:03:27,556
and big, stupid jerks, who
don't even know you exist
76
00:03:27,591 --> 00:03:30,826
and then go running off to
Japan with someone else.
77
00:03:32,846 --> 00:03:37,048
That is such a cliché.
78
00:03:37,083 --> 00:03:38,784
Come on, please. Forget it.
79
00:03:38,819 --> 00:03:41,135
I'm concentrating on my career.
80
00:03:41,171 --> 00:03:44,517
I happen to think I have a
real future with this company.
81
00:03:44,541 --> 00:03:48,777
No offense, but... why?
82
00:03:48,812 --> 00:03:50,078
Because I think it's my time.
83
00:03:50,113 --> 00:03:52,781
You know, Evan took a lot of
key people with him to Japan.
84
00:03:52,816 --> 00:03:54,483
And the way I figure it,
85
00:03:54,518 --> 00:03:57,753
everyone who knows
I'm a washout is gone.
86
00:03:57,788 --> 00:03:58,987
Ooh.
87
00:03:59,022 --> 00:04:00,588
Talk about sitting pretty.
88
00:04:00,623 --> 00:04:01,723
You bet.
89
00:04:01,758 --> 00:04:04,070
You know, the new executive
vice president, Mr. Stone
90
00:04:04,094 --> 00:04:05,371
has been doing a
little housecleaning
91
00:04:05,395 --> 00:04:06,761
at the corporate level.
92
00:04:06,796 --> 00:04:08,074
From where I am,
93
00:04:08,098 --> 00:04:10,243
it could be just a
short climb to the top.
94
00:04:10,267 --> 00:04:12,300
Yeah, speaking of climbing
95
00:04:12,336 --> 00:04:14,402
to the top, the way I see it,
96
00:04:14,438 --> 00:04:16,104
you haven't had
a date with a guy
97
00:04:16,139 --> 00:04:17,339
for about two and half years.
98
00:04:17,374 --> 00:04:19,825
Now, I think this date of
ours could be good for me,
99
00:04:19,860 --> 00:04:21,053
but, sweetheart, I got to say,
100
00:04:21,077 --> 00:04:22,994
it's looking real
necessary for you.
101
00:04:24,013 --> 00:04:25,213
Sam, no.
102
00:04:25,248 --> 00:04:26,759
We're starting to
become good friends.
103
00:04:26,783 --> 00:04:28,344
Now, why wreck that? Why not...
104
00:04:28,368 --> 00:04:31,286
Friends tell friends who they
think they ought to go out with,
105
00:04:31,321 --> 00:04:32,754
and as a friend,
I'm telling you,
106
00:04:32,790 --> 00:04:35,323
you ought to give this
Malone guy a chance.
107
00:04:40,380 --> 00:04:41,963
All right.
108
00:04:42,999 --> 00:04:44,182
What?
109
00:04:44,217 --> 00:04:46,668
I'll go out with you.
110
00:04:46,703 --> 00:04:48,502
That is great.
111
00:04:48,538 --> 00:04:49,604
That's great, all right.
112
00:04:49,639 --> 00:04:52,474
Um, I'll pick you up...
113
00:04:52,509 --> 00:04:55,310
But just, uh, for
future reference here,
114
00:04:55,345 --> 00:04:57,712
uh, what did I
do right this time?
115
00:04:57,747 --> 00:04:59,492
It's just that since
Evan went away,
116
00:04:59,516 --> 00:05:01,682
my expectations are low.
117
00:05:03,120 --> 00:05:05,786
And with my stove on the blink
and nothing on the tube tonight,
118
00:05:05,822 --> 00:05:08,923
I figured... why not?
119
00:05:11,962 --> 00:05:12,994
Thanks.
120
00:05:13,029 --> 00:05:14,909
Yeah, I'll have
to remember that.
121
00:05:16,733 --> 00:05:18,416
8:00? Okay.
122
00:05:18,451 --> 00:05:21,185
Oh, a-and let's just
keep this between us.
123
00:05:21,221 --> 00:05:22,665
I don't want those
bozos out there
124
00:05:22,689 --> 00:05:24,122
turning this into a circus.
125
00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:26,224
No, no. I couldn't
agree with you more.
126
00:05:31,381 --> 00:05:33,615
Lucky guess.
127
00:05:42,258 --> 00:05:44,069
Whoa, yo-ho,
128
00:05:44,093 --> 00:05:45,271
check it out.
129
00:05:45,295 --> 00:05:47,562
Sammy, you might as well
130
00:05:47,597 --> 00:05:50,198
make that entry in
your diary right now
131
00:05:50,233 --> 00:05:53,201
because no mortal woman
can resist this package.
132
00:05:53,236 --> 00:05:54,513
No, no, we're
just having dinner.
133
00:05:54,537 --> 00:05:57,416
Uh-ho! NORM: Oh, right, yeah.
134
00:05:57,440 --> 00:05:59,974
Columbus was just going
on a little boat ride, huh?
135
00:06:00,010 --> 00:06:03,244
Oh, it turns out
that's true, Norm.
136
00:06:05,248 --> 00:06:07,448
He told the missus he was
just stepping out for lunch,
137
00:06:07,483 --> 00:06:09,350
and, uh, took a
left instead of a right
138
00:06:09,385 --> 00:06:12,120
at the Isle of, uh, Langerhans,
and before you know it,
139
00:06:12,155 --> 00:06:15,390
uh, he's trading
trinkets for Miami Beach.
140
00:06:15,425 --> 00:06:17,325
Cliff, you should write a book.
141
00:06:17,361 --> 00:06:19,677
Why, thank you, Carla.
142
00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:21,813
No, I mean right now.
143
00:06:23,917 --> 00:06:24,949
I mean it.
144
00:06:24,985 --> 00:06:28,436
Look, here's a pencil
and some paper.
145
00:06:28,472 --> 00:06:29,871
Go on in the back room,
146
00:06:29,907 --> 00:06:33,307
and don't come out until
you have 60,000 words.
147
00:06:46,340 --> 00:06:47,922
Go on.
148
00:06:54,964 --> 00:06:56,242
I'll be right there.
149
00:06:56,266 --> 00:06:57,365
Ah, look at that.
150
00:06:57,401 --> 00:06:59,467
That really takes
me back, you know?
151
00:06:59,503 --> 00:07:01,247
I remember my
first date with Vera...
152
00:07:01,271 --> 00:07:04,122
The flowers, the
candy, the wine.
153
00:07:04,158 --> 00:07:05,607
Sounds pretty romantic, Norm.
154
00:07:05,642 --> 00:07:06,908
Yeah, it was.
155
00:07:06,943 --> 00:07:08,142
You know, in retrospect,
156
00:07:08,178 --> 00:07:11,112
I suppose I should have
gotten her something, but, uh...
157
00:07:12,415 --> 00:07:14,966
I guess you can't turn
back that clock, can you?
158
00:07:16,253 --> 00:07:17,535
Ah.
159
00:07:17,570 --> 00:07:19,037
There you go.
160
00:07:19,072 --> 00:07:20,504
I just, uh, brought these in
161
00:07:20,540 --> 00:07:23,674
so they could see what a real
long-stem beauty looks like.
162
00:07:23,710 --> 00:07:25,021
Thank you, Sam.
163
00:07:25,045 --> 00:07:26,845
Ah. Shall we go?
164
00:07:26,880 --> 00:07:28,090
It's just dinner.
165
00:07:28,114 --> 00:07:29,692
Yeah, dinner, right, absolutely.
166
00:07:29,716 --> 00:07:32,016
Uh, good night, fellas.
Uh, don't wait up for us.
167
00:07:36,256 --> 00:07:37,533
My God, it's him.
168
00:07:37,557 --> 00:07:39,657
Who's him? It's him, Greg Stone,
169
00:07:39,692 --> 00:07:40,720
the new exec VP.
170
00:07:40,744 --> 00:07:43,055
I saw his picture in the
company newsletter.
171
00:07:43,079 --> 00:07:44,178
Mr. Stone!
172
00:07:44,214 --> 00:07:45,714
Welcome, welcome.
173
00:07:45,749 --> 00:07:47,515
It's such an honor
to have you here.
174
00:07:47,551 --> 00:07:49,050
Mr. Stone, I'd like you to meet
175
00:07:49,085 --> 00:07:50,017
Sam Malone. Yeah, hi.
176
00:07:50,053 --> 00:07:51,264
Pleased to meet you, Sam.
177
00:07:51,288 --> 00:07:52,454
Yeah.
178
00:07:52,489 --> 00:07:53,566
Who are you?
179
00:07:53,590 --> 00:07:55,106
Rebecca Howe.
180
00:07:55,142 --> 00:07:56,507
I'm the manager.
181
00:07:56,543 --> 00:07:58,877
Ah, of course.
182
00:07:58,912 --> 00:08:01,279
I'd like to use your
phone if I may.
183
00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:03,592
You can do anything
you want with my phone.
184
00:08:03,616 --> 00:08:04,894
Thank you... For the moment,
185
00:08:04,918 --> 00:08:06,929
I thought I'd
just speak into it.
186
00:08:06,953 --> 00:08:08,230
Good choice.
187
00:08:08,254 --> 00:08:09,888
Okay, come on. Let's go.
188
00:08:09,923 --> 00:08:11,723
Sweetheart, we're
gonna be late. Let's...
189
00:08:11,758 --> 00:08:13,057
He could very well be
190
00:08:13,092 --> 00:08:15,426
the most handsome
man I have ever seen.
191
00:08:17,697 --> 00:08:20,009
And did you see the
way he looked in my eyes
192
00:08:20,033 --> 00:08:21,677
when he said, "Who are you?"
193
00:08:21,701 --> 00:08:23,312
I think he really likes me.
194
00:08:23,336 --> 00:08:24,569
We all do, honey.
195
00:08:24,604 --> 00:08:25,770
Now, let's go.
196
00:08:25,805 --> 00:08:27,182
No, Sam, you don't understand.
197
00:08:27,206 --> 00:08:29,151
He's the man I've been giving my
accounts to the last couple weeks.
198
00:08:29,175 --> 00:08:31,020
I think he could be
my ticket to corporate.
199
00:08:32,111 --> 00:08:34,123
Miss Howe, I'd like
to see you in my office
200
00:08:34,147 --> 00:08:35,346
tomorrow morning at 9:00.
201
00:08:35,381 --> 00:08:36,548
Mm-hmm.
202
00:08:36,583 --> 00:08:38,995
What'd I tell you? What did
I tell you? Yeah, that's great.
203
00:08:39,019 --> 00:08:40,229
Now, let's go
celebrate, all right?
204
00:08:40,253 --> 00:08:41,597
Oh, excuse me, excuse me, sir!
205
00:08:41,621 --> 00:08:43,666
Listen, as long as you
were gonna tell me anyway,
206
00:08:43,690 --> 00:08:45,634
why don't you just go
ahead and tell me now?
207
00:08:45,658 --> 00:08:47,992
This is not the
time or the place.
208
00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:49,493
Oh, please tell me.
209
00:08:49,529 --> 00:08:51,007
You've been going over my files?
210
00:08:51,031 --> 00:08:52,463
Yes, I have.
211
00:08:52,498 --> 00:08:54,465
And we're doing better?
212
00:08:54,500 --> 00:08:55,800
Yes, we're doing better.
213
00:08:55,836 --> 00:08:56,879
Well, then what's the problem?
214
00:08:56,903 --> 00:08:58,164
Just go ahead and tell me.
215
00:08:58,188 --> 00:09:00,572
I really think we should
discuss this privately.
216
00:09:00,607 --> 00:09:03,558
Pal, just between us guys here,
217
00:09:03,593 --> 00:09:05,059
do me a favor and tell her.
218
00:09:05,094 --> 00:09:08,663
It'd kind of help
grease the old skids.
219
00:09:08,698 --> 00:09:11,299
I really don't think.
Sir, excuse me, please?
220
00:09:11,334 --> 00:09:12,478
Please?
221
00:09:12,502 --> 00:09:15,069
Very well, Ms.
Howe, if you insist.
222
00:09:15,104 --> 00:09:18,306
This, uh, quarter has
shown a slight improvement.
223
00:09:18,341 --> 00:09:19,385
Did you hear that, everybody?
224
00:09:19,409 --> 00:09:21,476
"A slight improvement."
225
00:09:21,511 --> 00:09:22,827
But the records show,
226
00:09:22,862 --> 00:09:24,963
unequivocally, that
the bar did better
227
00:09:24,998 --> 00:09:27,231
under Sam's
direction than yours.
228
00:09:27,266 --> 00:09:28,432
In view of this,
229
00:09:28,468 --> 00:09:31,336
I'm hereby appointing
Sam the new manager.
230
00:09:31,371 --> 00:09:32,854
And I regret to say
231
00:09:32,889 --> 00:09:34,789
I'm forced to give you notice.
232
00:09:34,825 --> 00:09:37,158
I'm sorry.
233
00:09:37,193 --> 00:09:39,694
Okay, boys, dessert.
234
00:09:48,822 --> 00:09:51,923
Well, what do you say we go
strap on the ol' feedbag, huh?
235
00:09:55,094 --> 00:09:58,296
You coming?
236
00:09:58,332 --> 00:09:59,364
Uh...
237
00:09:59,399 --> 00:10:01,882
you guys want to help
me get her into the car?
238
00:10:05,122 --> 00:10:06,755
I'll get the door.
239
00:10:09,776 --> 00:10:12,210
This is gonna be a lot
easier than I thought.
240
00:10:23,873 --> 00:10:25,267
Two Amstel Lights.
I don't know, Carla.
241
00:10:25,291 --> 00:10:27,325
Either managing a bar is getting
242
00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:29,093
a lot more complicated,
243
00:10:29,128 --> 00:10:30,929
or I'm getting a lot dumber.
244
00:10:30,964 --> 00:10:34,398
You couldn't be getting
any dumber, Sam.
245
00:10:34,434 --> 00:10:37,034
Well, it must be
that other thing.
246
00:10:37,070 --> 00:10:38,848
You know, having
you back in charge
247
00:10:38,872 --> 00:10:40,883
really reminds me of
old times, you know?
248
00:10:40,907 --> 00:10:42,841
I mean, real old times.
249
00:10:42,876 --> 00:10:44,542
Even before the evil days,
250
00:10:44,578 --> 00:10:46,928
when darkness
fell over the earth.
251
00:10:48,131 --> 00:10:50,631
She means when
Diane was still here.
252
00:10:50,667 --> 00:10:55,035
I know precisely what she means.
253
00:10:56,957 --> 00:10:59,057
Cheers.
254
00:10:59,092 --> 00:11:01,026
Sam, it's Mr. Stone for you.
255
00:11:01,061 --> 00:11:02,739
Uh, put him on
hold there, Woody.
256
00:11:02,763 --> 00:11:03,678
Damn, I'll bet
257
00:11:03,713 --> 00:11:05,629
he wants those figures.
258
00:11:14,774 --> 00:11:15,873
Hello, Woody.
259
00:11:18,278 --> 00:11:19,260
Miss Howe?
260
00:11:19,295 --> 00:11:20,729
Woody, where's Sam?
261
00:11:20,764 --> 00:11:21,764
In his off...
262
00:11:22,382 --> 00:11:23,481
Oh, I mean, in your...
263
00:11:24,384 --> 00:11:25,384
In your...
264
00:11:27,254 --> 00:11:29,220
I-I haven't seen him.
265
00:11:34,528 --> 00:11:36,110
Hello.
266
00:11:36,145 --> 00:11:38,997
Love your hairdo.
267
00:11:49,476 --> 00:11:51,575
It's open.
268
00:12:00,921 --> 00:12:03,287
Sweetheart, what happened?
269
00:12:03,323 --> 00:12:08,193
I just had to knock
on my own office door.
270
00:12:08,228 --> 00:12:10,528
Honey, I-I'm so sorry.
271
00:12:10,563 --> 00:12:12,975
I swear to God I didn't
want this to happen.
272
00:12:12,999 --> 00:12:14,532
I know.
273
00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:16,935
It's not your fault.
274
00:12:16,970 --> 00:12:19,237
I know why it happened.
275
00:12:19,272 --> 00:12:21,906
Because I'm a loser.
276
00:12:21,942 --> 00:12:25,043
I always have been,
and I always will be
277
00:12:25,078 --> 00:12:29,313
a big old, fat,
old, stupid loser.
278
00:12:29,349 --> 00:12:30,626
No, you're not a loser.
279
00:12:30,650 --> 00:12:32,128
Don't say that, you hear me?
280
00:12:32,152 --> 00:12:33,429
You are not a loser.
281
00:12:33,453 --> 00:12:34,468
Okay.
282
00:12:34,504 --> 00:12:40,058
You have a barrette
for this, or something?
283
00:12:40,093 --> 00:12:43,327
I lost it.
284
00:12:43,362 --> 00:12:46,475
Sweetheart, don't worry
about... don't worry about that.
285
00:12:46,499 --> 00:12:48,199
It'll be all right.
286
00:12:48,234 --> 00:12:50,646
Hey, you know what
might make you feel better?
287
00:12:50,670 --> 00:12:52,481
We never had that
date, you know?
288
00:12:52,505 --> 00:12:54,772
Oh, God!
289
00:12:56,710 --> 00:12:58,754
You just go back over there
290
00:12:58,778 --> 00:13:00,522
and do whatever it
was you were doing,
291
00:13:00,546 --> 00:13:02,959
and I will get out
of your life forever.
292
00:13:02,983 --> 00:13:05,049
Rebecca, I... Sam, please.
293
00:13:05,085 --> 00:13:07,085
It'll make it a lot easier.
294
00:13:12,558 --> 00:13:14,759
You know,
295
00:13:14,794 --> 00:13:17,645
I might just become a bag lady.
296
00:13:19,399 --> 00:13:22,166
They're not all old, you know.
297
00:13:22,201 --> 00:13:25,035
It could happen.
298
00:13:25,071 --> 00:13:27,772
It really could.
299
00:13:29,576 --> 00:13:31,475
I'll just send
300
00:13:31,511 --> 00:13:32,538
for the rest of my things.
301
00:13:32,562 --> 00:13:34,873
No, Rebecca, wait a sec.
302
00:13:34,897 --> 00:13:35,908
Honey, listen.
303
00:13:35,932 --> 00:13:37,631
Sam, Stone is still on hold.
304
00:13:37,667 --> 00:13:39,345
He needs those
figures on the double.
305
00:13:51,347 --> 00:13:53,314
Well, what the hell is that?
306
00:13:53,349 --> 00:13:57,468
I'm no computer expert,
but it looks like Donkey Kong.
307
00:13:57,503 --> 00:13:59,916
Oh, man, that, that stinks.
308
00:13:59,940 --> 00:14:01,150
You know, I, I...
309
00:14:01,174 --> 00:14:03,569
It's not like it used to
be around here, Carla.
310
00:14:03,593 --> 00:14:06,194
I mean corporations,
computers, reports.
311
00:14:06,229 --> 00:14:08,996
I mean, I used to
keep track of inventory
312
00:14:09,032 --> 00:14:11,365
in a spiral notebook,
for God's sake.
313
00:14:11,401 --> 00:14:12,716
No, you didn't.
314
00:14:12,751 --> 00:14:14,085
Well, I always meant to.
315
00:14:17,090 --> 00:14:19,068
You know, I-I just
hate being in charge.
316
00:14:19,092 --> 00:14:20,391
I'm not good at it.
317
00:14:20,426 --> 00:14:21,771
Rebecca wasn't
good at it either,
318
00:14:21,795 --> 00:14:23,327
but at least she enjoyed it.
319
00:14:23,362 --> 00:14:26,147
You know, I'm going
to go back to Stone,
320
00:14:26,182 --> 00:14:28,649
and I'm going to beg him
to give her this job back.
321
00:14:28,684 --> 00:14:30,050
No, wait a minute.
322
00:14:30,086 --> 00:14:32,336
You're quitting because
of this machine?
323
00:14:32,372 --> 00:14:34,155
Carla, I hate that machine.
324
00:14:34,190 --> 00:14:36,791
John Henry hated a machine, too.
325
00:14:36,826 --> 00:14:39,710
Do you know the story
of John Henry, Sam?
326
00:14:39,745 --> 00:14:43,197
He went toe to toe with
a steel-driving machine,
327
00:14:43,232 --> 00:14:45,099
and he refused to admit
328
00:14:45,134 --> 00:14:46,879
that that machine
was better than him.
329
00:14:46,903 --> 00:14:48,113
And do you know what happened?
330
00:14:48,137 --> 00:14:49,520
Yeah, the machine beat him.
331
00:14:49,555 --> 00:14:51,622
His heart exploded; he died.
332
00:14:51,657 --> 00:14:54,491
He did?
333
00:14:54,527 --> 00:14:57,377
Yes.
334
00:14:57,413 --> 00:15:00,081
Well, go get her job back
before you lose your ticker.
335
00:15:00,116 --> 00:15:01,648
Go on.
336
00:15:07,440 --> 00:15:09,023
Whoa, how'd it go?
337
00:15:09,058 --> 00:15:12,960
Oh, Woody, Woody, give
me a seltzer there, will you?
338
00:15:12,996 --> 00:15:15,562
Mr. Stone is dead set
against rehiring her,
339
00:15:15,598 --> 00:15:17,879
and I hate to beg
when sex isn't involved.
340
00:15:20,620 --> 00:15:22,303
So, what happened?
341
00:15:22,338 --> 00:15:24,082
Well, I had to promise
that she'd agree
342
00:15:24,106 --> 00:15:25,518
to a whole list of conditions,
343
00:15:25,542 --> 00:15:27,341
but he finally said yes.
344
00:15:27,377 --> 00:15:28,621
I left a message
345
00:15:28,645 --> 00:15:30,878
on her answering machine
that I wanted to talk to her.
346
00:15:30,913 --> 00:15:32,324
What are you going to tell her?
347
00:15:32,348 --> 00:15:34,649
I'm going to tell her to
take her stupid job back.
348
00:15:34,684 --> 00:15:35,849
I don't want it anymore.
349
00:15:35,885 --> 00:15:37,563
Wait a minute, Sam. Aren't
you missing something here?
350
00:15:37,587 --> 00:15:39,620
What?
351
00:15:39,656 --> 00:15:42,790
You desperately want to
jump this woman's bones, right?
352
00:15:42,825 --> 00:15:44,292
Sure.
353
00:15:44,327 --> 00:15:46,860
And you've just arranged
something for her
354
00:15:46,896 --> 00:15:49,336
that she wants more than
anything else in the world.
355
00:15:49,365 --> 00:15:50,764
So?
356
00:15:50,800 --> 00:15:54,101
Don't you see a connection
between those two things?
357
00:15:56,306 --> 00:15:58,587
Breaks your heart, doesn't it?
358
00:15:59,942 --> 00:16:03,356
You tell Rebecca that you
loved being the manager,
359
00:16:03,380 --> 00:16:05,958
but you couldn't stand to
see her being so miserable,
360
00:16:05,982 --> 00:16:07,460
so you got her her job back.
361
00:16:07,484 --> 00:16:08,983
Next thing you know,
362
00:16:09,019 --> 00:16:12,699
she'll be doing the
backstroke on your water bed.
363
00:16:13,823 --> 00:16:16,474
Carla, I'm shocked.
364
00:16:16,509 --> 00:16:19,827
Why, 'cause you
didn't think of it first?
365
00:16:19,862 --> 00:16:22,430
Yeah. I mean, I
must be losing it.
366
00:16:24,517 --> 00:16:25,799
Woody, uh,
367
00:16:25,834 --> 00:16:26,967
call Melville's.
368
00:16:27,002 --> 00:16:28,869
Tell them I want an
8:00 reservation for two.
369
00:16:28,904 --> 00:16:30,321
Oh, and tell them that I want
370
00:16:30,356 --> 00:16:33,040
booth number five, chill
their best champagne,
371
00:16:33,075 --> 00:16:37,361
yeah, and order a
chocolate soufflé for dessert.
372
00:16:37,397 --> 00:16:39,597
Aw, gee, Sam, that sounds good,
373
00:16:39,632 --> 00:16:41,565
but actually, I
brought my dinner.
374
00:16:45,405 --> 00:16:48,138
Woody... make the reservation.
375
00:16:48,174 --> 00:16:49,557
All right, but this is a waste
376
00:16:49,592 --> 00:16:51,959
of a perfectly good
meatball sandwich.
377
00:16:53,028 --> 00:16:54,295
Thank you.
378
00:16:58,217 --> 00:17:01,602
Sam, I can't thank you
enough for getting my job back.
379
00:17:01,638 --> 00:17:05,139
I finally feel good
about myself again.
380
00:17:05,174 --> 00:17:07,441
You know, the first thing
I did when I got home
381
00:17:07,477 --> 00:17:10,511
was I-I put in an order
for that Mercedes.
382
00:17:10,546 --> 00:17:12,023
Ah, well, I think
you'll look great
383
00:17:12,047 --> 00:17:13,781
wearing one of those.
384
00:17:13,816 --> 00:17:15,383
So...
385
00:17:15,418 --> 00:17:17,418
you having a good time?
386
00:17:17,453 --> 00:17:18,586
Yeah, I actually am.
387
00:17:18,621 --> 00:17:20,699
Well, you don't have
to sound so surprised.
388
00:17:20,723 --> 00:17:22,668
Oh, I'm sorry; I
didn't mean it like that.
389
00:17:22,692 --> 00:17:24,403
It's just that...
390
00:17:24,427 --> 00:17:26,860
with all your obnoxious
come-ons, and everything,
391
00:17:26,896 --> 00:17:29,946
I never expected you to be as...
392
00:17:31,251 --> 00:17:34,018
as charming as
you've been tonight.
393
00:17:34,054 --> 00:17:35,886
No kidding.
394
00:17:35,922 --> 00:17:41,192
So, what do you find
charming about me?
395
00:17:41,227 --> 00:17:44,228
Well, for one thing,
I find it charming
396
00:17:44,264 --> 00:17:47,998
that you would try to impress
me by ordering an elegant soufflé,
397
00:17:48,034 --> 00:17:50,501
when I know perfectly well
that your favorite dessert
398
00:17:50,537 --> 00:17:52,119
is frozen Snicker bars.
399
00:17:52,155 --> 00:17:55,405
Actually, they're in the bottom
400
00:17:55,441 --> 00:17:57,119
of your champagne bucket there.
401
00:17:58,428 --> 00:18:02,068
Oh, I think I was just
charming again there, wasn't I?
402
00:18:04,601 --> 00:18:05,900
I don't get it.
403
00:18:07,003 --> 00:18:08,747
Just when I thought
I had you pegged,
404
00:18:08,771 --> 00:18:10,916
you go out and do
something like you did today.
405
00:18:10,940 --> 00:18:12,406
Sam,
406
00:18:12,441 --> 00:18:14,441
that really was the nicest thing
407
00:18:14,477 --> 00:18:16,944
that anyone has
ever done for me.
408
00:18:16,980 --> 00:18:21,765
Well, you deserve to have
nice things done for you.
409
00:18:21,801 --> 00:18:23,467
You're a very nice person.
410
00:18:23,502 --> 00:18:25,803
So are you.
411
00:18:34,997 --> 00:18:36,864
Sam?
412
00:18:36,899 --> 00:18:38,199
Yeah?
413
00:18:38,234 --> 00:18:39,966
Is that your hand on my leg?
414
00:18:40,002 --> 00:18:41,819
Oh, I'll be darned.
415
00:18:41,854 --> 00:18:45,623
My left hand does seem
to be missing, doesn't it?
416
00:18:45,658 --> 00:18:47,491
Do you want me to move it?
417
00:18:47,526 --> 00:18:49,526
Yes.
418
00:18:50,730 --> 00:18:53,998
That's not what I meant.
419
00:18:54,033 --> 00:18:57,868
Oh, thank you, God.
420
00:19:00,556 --> 00:19:03,874
Ah! Mr. Stone! Hi!
421
00:19:03,909 --> 00:19:05,376
What a surprise!
422
00:19:05,411 --> 00:19:06,655
Oh, good evening.
423
00:19:06,679 --> 00:19:09,725
I wonder if we could
have the table over there?
424
00:19:09,749 --> 00:19:11,815
Mr. Stone, I'm not the hostess.
425
00:19:11,851 --> 00:19:14,335
I'm Rebecca Howe,
from downstairs.
426
00:19:14,370 --> 00:19:16,197
Ah, yeah, of course you are.
427
00:19:16,221 --> 00:19:17,755
Miss Howe.
428
00:19:17,790 --> 00:19:20,302
I guess I ought to
say welcome back.
429
00:19:20,326 --> 00:19:23,811
I was a little surprised you
agreed to the conditions, but if you
430
00:19:23,846 --> 00:19:25,257
can live with them, so can we.
431
00:19:25,281 --> 00:19:26,458
Ah, here's the maitre d'.
432
00:19:26,482 --> 00:19:30,484
I wonder if I could have
that table in the other room?
433
00:19:30,520 --> 00:19:33,040
Nice to see you again.
434
00:19:37,593 --> 00:19:39,493
What was he talking about?
435
00:19:39,529 --> 00:19:41,194
What conditions?
436
00:19:41,230 --> 00:19:43,141
You want some more champagne?
437
00:19:43,165 --> 00:19:45,332
Sam, what conditions?
438
00:19:45,367 --> 00:19:48,969
Well, they were
so insignificant,
439
00:19:49,004 --> 00:19:51,364
they really slipped my mind.
440
00:19:52,442 --> 00:19:58,011
Uh, all right, uh.
441
00:19:58,047 --> 00:19:59,324
Well, uh...
442
00:19:59,348 --> 00:20:03,100
You have to take
a... slight pay cut
443
00:20:03,135 --> 00:20:05,386
and go back to
school for your MBA
444
00:20:05,421 --> 00:20:07,282
and share the office with me,
445
00:20:07,306 --> 00:20:09,251
consult with me on
all major decisions,
446
00:20:09,275 --> 00:20:11,286
and since you lack
any practical experience,
447
00:20:11,310 --> 00:20:13,355
you'll have to wait tables
when the bar is busy,
448
00:20:13,379 --> 00:20:17,019
which will put you under the
immediate supervision of Carla.
449
00:20:18,751 --> 00:20:22,119
Any wonder it slipped my mind?
450
00:20:22,154 --> 00:20:25,523
Sam, uh, when were you
planning on telling me this?
451
00:20:25,558 --> 00:20:28,959
After.
452
00:20:28,995 --> 00:20:31,896
After what?
453
00:20:31,931 --> 00:20:34,748
Afterwards.
454
00:20:37,770 --> 00:20:39,386
All right, um.
455
00:20:39,422 --> 00:20:42,889
I'm sorry, I should
have told you, but...
456
00:20:42,925 --> 00:20:45,970
I just thought that you'd been
going through such a tough time
457
00:20:45,994 --> 00:20:47,439
that you deserved
at least one night
458
00:20:47,463 --> 00:20:50,023
of feeling good about yourself.
459
00:20:51,300 --> 00:20:52,844
All right, I'll call you a cab.
460
00:20:52,868 --> 00:20:53,967
No, no, no.
461
00:20:54,002 --> 00:20:56,036
It's okay.
462
00:20:56,071 --> 00:20:59,072
The important thing is
that I have my job back.
463
00:20:59,107 --> 00:21:01,319
You're not upset about this?
464
00:21:01,343 --> 00:21:03,244
No, how can I be upset
465
00:21:03,279 --> 00:21:06,046
when I have so much
to be thankful for?
466
00:21:06,081 --> 00:21:11,352
Now... where were we?
467
00:21:11,387 --> 00:21:14,087
Does this look familiar?
468
00:21:14,123 --> 00:21:16,257
Sam? Yeah?
469
00:21:16,292 --> 00:21:18,159
I want tonight to
be very special.
470
00:21:18,194 --> 00:21:19,826
Mmm.
471
00:21:19,862 --> 00:21:24,265
And I think I can figure a
way out for us to do that.
472
00:21:26,101 --> 00:21:27,968
You see, I have this fantasy...
473
00:21:30,306 --> 00:21:32,439
and it's something that
I've always wanted to try,
474
00:21:32,475 --> 00:21:35,075
but I didn't ever think
that I'd get to do it
475
00:21:35,110 --> 00:21:36,910
until tonight.
476
00:21:36,945 --> 00:21:38,795
Would you like
to know what it is?
477
00:21:38,831 --> 00:21:41,798
Yes, please.
478
00:21:41,834 --> 00:21:44,534
Okay.
479
00:21:44,570 --> 00:21:46,803
Well, you see, I have
this hot tub at home.
480
00:21:46,839 --> 00:21:49,106
I love the way this begins.
481
00:21:49,141 --> 00:21:52,142
And what we do
when we get there...
482
00:21:56,182 --> 00:21:57,781
First?
483
00:21:57,816 --> 00:21:58,882
Uh-huh.
484
00:21:58,917 --> 00:21:59,984
And then...
485
00:22:02,021 --> 00:22:04,271
Oh, God.
486
00:22:04,306 --> 00:22:06,674
Oh, please.
487
00:22:06,709 --> 00:22:08,175
A-a-a-and this is the part
488
00:22:08,210 --> 00:22:09,977
that's just a little
tiny bit illegal.
489
00:22:11,247 --> 00:22:12,480
No, no, no, no, no.
490
00:22:12,515 --> 00:22:14,682
Oh, I don't think
that I should tell you.
491
00:22:14,717 --> 00:22:16,957
I really think it would
be better if I showed you.
492
00:22:16,986 --> 00:22:19,520
Come with me now, so
we don't spoil the mood.
493
00:22:19,555 --> 00:22:24,525
Could you just give me a minute?
494
00:22:24,560 --> 00:22:27,160
No.
495
00:22:29,932 --> 00:22:31,899
Bye-bye, Sam.
496
00:22:40,560 --> 00:22:42,204
Can I get you anything
else, Mr. Malone?
497
00:22:42,228 --> 00:22:44,228
No, thank you, Paul.
498
00:22:44,263 --> 00:22:47,365
Actually, Paul,
499
00:22:47,400 --> 00:22:50,934
could I have another one
of your chocolate soufflés?
500
00:22:50,970 --> 00:22:53,371
Are you aware that
will take 45 minutes?
501
00:22:53,406 --> 00:22:56,507
Yes, Paul, I am.
502
00:23:01,881 --> 00:23:02,913
Woody,
503
00:23:02,948 --> 00:23:05,383
Sam's going to be
upstairs for a while.
504
00:23:05,418 --> 00:23:07,150
When he comes down,
give him this message.
505
00:23:07,186 --> 00:23:09,720
You tell him that it
will be a cold day in hell
506
00:23:09,756 --> 00:23:11,522
before I ever share
an office with him,
507
00:23:11,557 --> 00:23:14,892
or schlep drinks
in a two-bit saloon.
508
00:23:14,927 --> 00:23:15,971
Oh, Miss Howe?
509
00:23:15,995 --> 00:23:17,939
By the way, Midtown
Mercedes called,
510
00:23:17,963 --> 00:23:20,564
and they said you can
pick up your car anytime.
511
00:23:20,600 --> 00:23:23,100
Oh, and they got the one
you wanted... the red one.
512
00:23:26,538 --> 00:23:27,738
The red one?
513
00:23:33,279 --> 00:23:34,245
Hi, there.
514
00:23:34,280 --> 00:23:35,880
My name's Rebecca...
515
00:23:35,915 --> 00:23:41,151
and it will be my
pleasure to serve you.
36108
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