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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,711 --> 00:00:06,068 Tickets this way for the Chatsworth Express! 2 00:00:06,151 --> 00:00:10,861 Come and watch pikeys making a mess of the lives 3 00:00:10,950 --> 00:00:13,704 they were given by him upstairs 4 00:00:13,790 --> 00:00:17,624 and kids they're convinced aren't actually theirs. 5 00:00:17,709 --> 00:00:21,419 What sounds on earth could ever replace 6 00:00:21,509 --> 00:00:24,103 kids needing money or wives in your face? 7 00:00:24,188 --> 00:00:27,147 Cos this, people reckon, and me included, 8 00:00:27,228 --> 00:00:31,221 is why pubs and drugs were kindly invented 9 00:00:31,307 --> 00:00:36,177 to calm us all down and stop us going mental. 10 00:00:36,267 --> 00:00:40,226 These are Chatsworth Estate's basic essentials. 11 00:00:40,306 --> 00:00:44,300 We are worth every penny for grinding your axes. 12 00:00:44,386 --> 00:00:49,096 You shit on our heads, but you pay the taxes. 13 00:00:52,664 --> 00:00:55,702 Imagine a Britain without Chatsworth buccaneers 14 00:00:55,784 --> 00:00:58,219 who'd come on your face for the price of a beer. 15 00:00:58,304 --> 00:01:02,377 Make poverty history, cheaper drugs now! 16 00:01:02,463 --> 00:01:07,014 Make poverty history, cheaper drugs now! 17 00:01:07,102 --> 00:01:08,297 FRANK LAUGHS 18 00:01:08,382 --> 00:01:10,533 Scatter. 19 00:01:10,622 --> 00:01:11,942 Party! 20 00:01:23,060 --> 00:01:26,689 Is this the gaff? I thought you said she'd moved. 21 00:01:27,779 --> 00:01:29,054 She did. 22 00:01:41,417 --> 00:01:43,693 (Maureen) I think it's time now, Patrick. 23 00:01:43,777 --> 00:01:46,531 DISTORTED SOUNDS 24 00:01:46,617 --> 00:01:49,848 My daughter, Patrick. Rachel. 25 00:01:49,936 --> 00:01:52,326 Of course, she looked different towards the end, 26 00:01:52,416 --> 00:01:54,169 once the heroin had got hold of her. 27 00:01:54,256 --> 00:01:57,566 - You gave it to me. - (Paddy) No. 28 00:01:57,655 --> 00:02:01,046 CAR ALARM BLARES 29 00:02:05,494 --> 00:02:06,450 ALARM OFF 30 00:02:06,534 --> 00:02:09,731 (Paddy) My Mammy would tell us terrifying tales of witches and ogres 31 00:02:09,813 --> 00:02:13,250 who'd gobble up children. I'd have nightmares and scream the place down. 32 00:02:13,333 --> 00:02:14,926 Morning. 33 00:02:15,013 --> 00:02:16,651 Just up? 34 00:02:16,732 --> 00:02:18,883 (Mimi) I didn't sleep too good. 35 00:02:18,972 --> 00:02:22,488 Before you know it, you're a parent yourself. 36 00:02:22,571 --> 00:02:25,723 The joys are beyond expectation, but the fear paralyses beyond words. 37 00:02:25,811 --> 00:02:27,404 Not saying hello? 38 00:02:27,491 --> 00:02:29,686 - Uurgh. - Turkish wrestling. 39 00:02:29,770 --> 00:02:34,003 Big hairy blokes in leather shorts covering themselves in oil, 40 00:02:34,090 --> 00:02:38,959 rolling around, trying to get their hands down each other's pants. 41 00:02:39,049 --> 00:02:42,759 So you tell your babies those same terrifying fairytales that kept you awake 42 00:02:42,849 --> 00:02:46,524 to prepare them for just how hardcore this world can be. 43 00:02:47,728 --> 00:02:51,767 Because monsters do exist. 44 00:02:51,847 --> 00:02:53,804 Jesus Christ! 45 00:02:53,887 --> 00:02:57,039 - What are you doing? Jamie's downstairs. - I just want to talk. 46 00:02:57,127 --> 00:02:59,038 - Where's Mandy? - Going to her folks, 47 00:02:59,126 --> 00:03:00,879 tell them about the engagement party. 48 00:03:00,966 --> 00:03:04,164 Tomorrow night, if you and Dad can make it. 49 00:03:04,246 --> 00:03:06,805 I know it's short notice, so... 50 00:03:14,844 --> 00:03:19,440 We couldn't really move on from his affair. 51 00:03:19,523 --> 00:03:21,833 - Affair? - (Micky) Who's taped over 52 00:03:21,923 --> 00:03:23,915 me Turkish wrestling? 53 00:03:24,003 --> 00:03:27,962 How many affairs have you heard of where a person kidnaps another 54 00:03:28,042 --> 00:03:30,682 - and turns him into a smackhead? - I'll kill ya! 55 00:03:30,762 --> 00:03:33,435 This wasn't some great romance, Mum. Then comes the day 56 00:03:33,521 --> 00:03:36,116 when strangers don't scare them any more, 57 00:03:36,201 --> 00:03:38,113 and that's when your nightmares return. 58 00:03:38,201 --> 00:03:40,396 (Joe) I don't want to hurt her again. 59 00:03:40,480 --> 00:03:41,914 She's a good person. 60 00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:45,630 She's the kind of girl you love and want to spend the rest of your life with. 61 00:03:47,639 --> 00:03:49,835 Whereas you, however... 62 00:03:49,919 --> 00:03:54,276 are a dirty slag who shagged your best mate's fella, 63 00:03:54,358 --> 00:03:58,796 cos that's all you're good for, with your tight tops and your short skirts. 64 00:04:03,077 --> 00:04:06,070 - How far gone? - Fuck off and die! 65 00:04:12,556 --> 00:04:14,706 You don't know whose it is, do you? 66 00:04:17,355 --> 00:04:21,507 Oh, now you really belong to me. 67 00:04:22,634 --> 00:04:23,954 Jamie! 68 00:04:32,433 --> 00:04:34,709 (Jamie) I never really thought I wanted to. 69 00:04:34,793 --> 00:04:36,351 But do you now? 70 00:04:36,432 --> 00:04:38,549 Want one, I mean? 71 00:04:38,632 --> 00:04:41,022 You can't control these things. 72 00:04:41,112 --> 00:04:43,421 If it comes, it comes. If it doesn't... 73 00:04:43,511 --> 00:04:45,264 well, that's fine, too. 74 00:04:47,191 --> 00:04:48,545 I'll try. 75 00:04:50,430 --> 00:04:54,219 It's not about trying. It's about nature, and biology. 76 00:04:58,469 --> 00:05:00,506 Come on, Debs, I gotta go to the post office. 77 00:05:00,589 --> 00:05:02,023 Well, take her with you. 78 00:05:02,109 --> 00:05:04,987 The post office? Don't be daft! She hasn't had all her jabs yet. 79 00:05:06,228 --> 00:05:07,582 Has she? 80 00:05:07,668 --> 00:05:10,899 - Liam, school. - Oh, Fiona... 81 00:05:12,307 --> 00:05:15,186 - Exactly. - See you, Frank. 82 00:05:15,267 --> 00:05:18,100 You can't leave me in charge of a baby! 83 00:05:21,866 --> 00:05:23,141 Oh, get off! 84 00:05:23,226 --> 00:05:26,423 Don't even waste your breath, Frank. 85 00:05:27,665 --> 00:05:30,863 - I think she's shat herself. - What are you doing? 86 00:05:30,945 --> 00:05:32,663 You can't shirk your responsibility, Yvonne. 87 00:05:32,744 --> 00:05:36,943 I only agreed to foster Liam and Stella so you could keep your family together. 88 00:05:37,024 --> 00:05:39,777 Oi, get back here! I'm not a fucking nanny, Frank! 89 00:05:39,863 --> 00:05:41,980 - I've got a shop to run. - Language, Yvonne. 90 00:05:46,702 --> 00:05:49,297 (Debbie) Oh, I don't believe it! 91 00:05:49,382 --> 00:05:52,453 He can't have had that job in the funeral parlour for more than an hour. 92 00:05:52,541 --> 00:05:56,091 (Max mimics presenter) The male of the species flatters the female with acts 93 00:05:56,181 --> 00:05:58,013 of ever more outlandish buffoonery 94 00:05:58,101 --> 00:06:00,490 in a vain attempt to get his appendage gobbled 95 00:06:00,580 --> 00:06:02,776 by one or preferably two handbags. 96 00:06:06,499 --> 00:06:11,130 But wait. A rival gamma male approaches, boasting a larger appendage... 97 00:06:11,219 --> 00:06:12,653 or a smaller plate in his head. 98 00:06:12,739 --> 00:06:14,457 CAR HORN PLAYS GODFATHER THEME 99 00:06:14,538 --> 00:06:17,212 - Morning. - Women! 100 00:06:17,298 --> 00:06:18,812 What's all what about? 101 00:06:18,898 --> 00:06:22,493 Women have a different selection process, Carl. 102 00:06:22,577 --> 00:06:25,172 You know, they want transport. 103 00:06:26,697 --> 00:06:27,573 Money. 104 00:06:29,096 --> 00:06:32,055 They want mobility. A change of scenery. 105 00:06:33,696 --> 00:06:36,767 They don't all want to hang around the Chatsworth and go to The Jockey. 106 00:06:36,855 --> 00:06:37,971 Where you two off? 107 00:06:38,055 --> 00:06:40,206 - Jockey. - Yoga. 108 00:06:47,054 --> 00:06:49,488 CRISP BAG RATTLES 109 00:06:49,573 --> 00:06:51,769 CRUNCHING CRISPS 110 00:06:57,132 --> 00:06:58,407 BELL RINGS 111 00:06:58,492 --> 00:07:02,610 VACUUM HUMS Fuck's sake, Lillian. Do you have to? 112 00:07:02,691 --> 00:07:04,444 Lice. 113 00:07:04,531 --> 00:07:06,363 Hey-hey! 114 00:07:06,451 --> 00:07:08,283 WOLF WHISTLE 115 00:07:09,530 --> 00:07:11,328 Two pints, please. 116 00:07:11,410 --> 00:07:14,005 CHATTERING 117 00:07:14,090 --> 00:07:16,479 What have I told you about first doors? 118 00:07:16,569 --> 00:07:19,562 - No punters until yoga's done. - Come here. 119 00:07:19,649 --> 00:07:22,289 Stress-free mammies equal stress-free babbies. 120 00:07:27,168 --> 00:07:31,480 You, you prick, crunching crisps all the way through, 121 00:07:31,567 --> 00:07:33,684 fucking gnaws me chakra right up! 122 00:07:35,367 --> 00:07:38,996 Fucking Buddhists. Forever starting shit on the news. 123 00:07:40,726 --> 00:07:41,876 Mark. 124 00:07:45,045 --> 00:07:48,322 - How was last night? - 120 in tips. 125 00:07:48,405 --> 00:07:51,045 - What, for one night's work? - Where's this? 126 00:07:51,125 --> 00:07:52,524 Any jobs going? 127 00:07:52,604 --> 00:07:56,439 Spit roast bar and grill behind Selfridges. VIPs, valet parking. 128 00:07:56,524 --> 00:07:58,594 Got footballers tipping him. 129 00:07:58,683 --> 00:08:02,518 But I've got him all to myself today, so don't be offended if we slip out and... 130 00:08:02,603 --> 00:08:05,118 Ah, babe, I'm feeling a bit shagged, you know? 131 00:08:05,202 --> 00:08:07,592 - Wouldn't mind just rolling a fat one... - Fucking students. 132 00:08:07,682 --> 00:08:11,915 I'm back in at nine. Anyway, what are you doing that's so important? 133 00:08:12,002 --> 00:08:15,677 Getting the money back for this suit and buying myself a new motor. 134 00:08:15,761 --> 00:08:19,595 - Probably score more birds. - You're like some Benny Hill character! 135 00:08:19,680 --> 00:08:22,354 Go on! That's me. 136 00:08:22,440 --> 00:08:24,511 When did you set your sights so low, Carl? 137 00:08:24,600 --> 00:08:26,158 What, cos I like shagging? 138 00:08:26,239 --> 00:08:28,356 Liking shagging I've got no problem with. 139 00:08:28,439 --> 00:08:30,510 Finding reasons to maintain a friendship with someone 140 00:08:30,599 --> 00:08:34,353 who acts more and more like a walking ball-bag increasingly is. 141 00:08:34,438 --> 00:08:36,316 So you get yourself a car and fuck off. 142 00:08:39,598 --> 00:08:41,190 Mandy! 143 00:08:49,076 --> 00:08:50,829 Can I give you a lift? 144 00:08:50,916 --> 00:08:53,829 Joe's picking us up in a minute. Just at the kerb's fine. 145 00:08:53,916 --> 00:08:55,747 Moving in, then, eh? 146 00:08:58,075 --> 00:08:59,828 Heard you were working for him, too, now. 147 00:08:59,915 --> 00:09:01,189 That right? 148 00:09:02,514 --> 00:09:04,710 Businesswoman, is it? 149 00:09:05,914 --> 00:09:07,268 Yeah, right(!) 150 00:09:07,354 --> 00:09:10,471 Just renting out flats to DSS. 151 00:09:11,913 --> 00:09:13,666 I didn't mean to seem weird before. 152 00:09:13,753 --> 00:09:16,631 I think she's missing you pretty badly. 153 00:09:21,872 --> 00:09:25,501 - Where on earth did you find this? - I've had it years. 154 00:09:25,591 --> 00:09:27,344 It was your granny's. 155 00:09:27,431 --> 00:09:29,467 (High-pitched) Kept her stuff in it. 156 00:09:31,070 --> 00:09:33,221 I like it. It smells of her. 157 00:09:43,508 --> 00:09:44,942 How are you doing? 158 00:09:46,428 --> 00:09:48,545 Can't complain. Busy. 159 00:09:48,628 --> 00:09:50,937 Got to get out, crack some heads. 160 00:09:51,027 --> 00:09:54,418 There's a few debts I've neglected to take care of recently. 161 00:09:54,507 --> 00:09:58,261 Coming tomorrow night? We're having an engagement party. 162 00:09:58,346 --> 00:09:59,860 Your mum coming? 163 00:10:00,786 --> 00:10:03,460 (Joe) All right, sweetie? 164 00:10:04,705 --> 00:10:08,176 Nearly there. Just a couple more boxes. 165 00:10:08,265 --> 00:10:10,018 All right, Paddy? 166 00:10:18,823 --> 00:10:21,895 Flippin' heck! Gonna need a new gaff for all this stuff, eh? 167 00:10:23,183 --> 00:10:25,936 Right, better get on with it. 168 00:10:29,222 --> 00:10:30,975 See you tomorrow, then? 169 00:10:31,062 --> 00:10:33,053 Tomorrow. 170 00:10:50,659 --> 00:10:53,412 You and me have some unfinished business, Raymondo! 171 00:10:53,498 --> 00:10:55,729 Oh, Paddy, Paddy! Er... 172 00:10:58,418 --> 00:10:59,852 Fuck! 173 00:11:03,817 --> 00:11:07,332 - You got any naloxone? - I got rid in case the Feds raided... 174 00:11:07,416 --> 00:11:10,170 It's fuckin' legal, you stupid bastard! 175 00:11:10,256 --> 00:11:14,488 But they can sue you for injecting someone against their consent or... 176 00:11:14,575 --> 00:11:17,534 You're a fucking idiot! She's still breathing. 177 00:11:17,615 --> 00:11:20,084 Call an ambulance. 178 00:11:21,694 --> 00:11:22,923 I've got no battery. 179 00:11:35,332 --> 00:11:36,686 (Man) Balls! Argh! Me balls! 180 00:11:36,772 --> 00:11:39,162 - Argh! Me balls! - Micky! 181 00:11:50,770 --> 00:11:54,047 - What's her name? - I dunno, we found her in the street. 182 00:11:54,130 --> 00:11:55,883 - OK, and what's she had? - Heroin. 183 00:11:55,969 --> 00:11:57,085 Mm-hm? 184 00:12:06,688 --> 00:12:08,919 OK, naloxone, two milligrams. 185 00:12:19,846 --> 00:12:23,601 OK, just keep her talking and get me IV access. 186 00:12:24,925 --> 00:12:27,963 - (Nurse) You're OK. It's OK. - Give me IV access, 187 00:12:28,045 --> 00:12:30,082 keep her monitored, and give her oxygen, OK? 188 00:12:43,323 --> 00:12:44,677 Oh, fuck! 189 00:12:48,962 --> 00:12:51,397 Er...Post Office police, coming through. 'Scuse me. 190 00:12:51,482 --> 00:12:53,154 'Scuse me, Post Office bobby. 191 00:12:53,241 --> 00:12:55,801 You'll be all right. Just do as I say. All right. 192 00:12:57,881 --> 00:13:00,839 Hiya, Frank. Can you lend us a smoke? 193 00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:05,710 Jackie! Fuckin' hell, you pregnant again? 194 00:13:05,800 --> 00:13:07,836 Yeah, getting engaged an' all when I turn 14. 195 00:13:07,919 --> 00:13:11,310 Well, congratulations, kid, that's just what we need round here. 196 00:13:11,399 --> 00:13:12,674 What's this? Where's the rest? 197 00:13:13,878 --> 00:13:19,590 Fuck off! Child benefit, £18.10, times two kids' worth. Check it again. 198 00:13:27,676 --> 00:13:31,750 Right, if you think I'm fuckin' about here all day, filling in a new claims form, 199 00:13:31,836 --> 00:13:34,907 think a-fuckin'-gain! 200 00:13:34,995 --> 00:13:38,671 Gallagher, Vernon Francis, child benefit. Restart. 201 00:13:38,755 --> 00:13:40,587 Now! 202 00:13:40,675 --> 00:13:42,586 Stop! 203 00:13:42,674 --> 00:13:45,143 This is housing benefit. 204 00:13:46,914 --> 00:13:48,825 Housing benefit. 205 00:13:48,913 --> 00:13:53,624 If it's about a child benefit claim, you're in the wrong department. 206 00:14:03,351 --> 00:14:07,630 'Scuse me, love. I want to report a violation of the Human Rights Act. 207 00:14:08,751 --> 00:14:10,548 Hang on, mate... 208 00:14:11,870 --> 00:14:14,624 I thought he... I thought he was Mick Hucknall. 209 00:14:14,710 --> 00:14:18,464 I've got this phobia about him - it's fuckin' worse than clowns. 210 00:14:18,549 --> 00:14:20,780 It's not gingers per se, you know, I'm cool with th... 211 00:14:20,869 --> 00:14:23,303 Some of my best mates... Well, not best mates, but... 212 00:14:23,388 --> 00:14:27,826 You know, it's just that curly-haired, ginger ponce. 213 00:14:27,908 --> 00:14:29,581 He just gives me the creeps! 214 00:14:29,668 --> 00:14:32,421 It's an involuntary medical condition. 215 00:14:32,507 --> 00:14:35,102 Even the mention of his name gives me the willies. 216 00:14:36,027 --> 00:14:38,416 He just crept up on us! I know it's not him... 217 00:14:38,506 --> 00:14:42,386 He looks so like him! It's just something gets me started. 218 00:14:42,466 --> 00:14:44,457 Have you got a car for sale? 219 00:14:44,545 --> 00:14:46,616 What's the address? I'm coming down now. 220 00:14:46,705 --> 00:14:50,699 Anchor Way? Well, I'm on Anchor Way now. Where the fuck is CK Autos? 221 00:14:50,784 --> 00:14:52,503 All right, Carlos? 222 00:14:55,904 --> 00:14:58,543 It's a bit fuckin' different to the photo, Ches. 223 00:14:58,623 --> 00:15:02,139 - It's an old photo, that. - It's a different reg and everything! 224 00:15:02,223 --> 00:15:04,374 I sell loads of these. 225 00:15:04,463 --> 00:15:07,296 Low profile. You'll never get a pull from the dibble in one of these. 226 00:15:07,382 --> 00:15:10,659 It's a classic. The ladies love a classic. 227 00:15:17,621 --> 00:15:19,657 Bit to the left, bit to the left. 228 00:15:20,700 --> 00:15:21,929 Yeah. 229 00:15:28,979 --> 00:15:31,938 Bollocks! Fuckin' score down the drain. 230 00:15:33,738 --> 00:15:36,651 Buy low, sell high. Basic business, Carlos. 231 00:15:36,738 --> 00:15:38,730 Bag's in the boot. 232 00:15:38,818 --> 00:15:41,696 You scratch it, I sue. Comprende? 233 00:15:53,975 --> 00:15:58,447 I don't need to tell you to keep your mouth shut about this, do I? 234 00:16:04,254 --> 00:16:08,532 - So what was it? Bad smack? - Is there another kind? 235 00:16:09,933 --> 00:16:11,731 No. I mean... 236 00:16:11,813 --> 00:16:13,964 if there's contaminated drugs out there, 237 00:16:14,053 --> 00:16:16,123 - then people should know, right? - Yeah. 238 00:16:16,212 --> 00:16:18,602 Too strong for her. Second time she's been in this month. 239 00:16:18,692 --> 00:16:22,207 I mean, I can see if they've got a bed for her tonight, but... 240 00:16:24,331 --> 00:16:26,846 Well, what about her family? Her mum? 241 00:16:45,728 --> 00:16:47,003 DOOR OPENS 242 00:16:55,607 --> 00:16:57,882 COINS CLINK 243 00:17:01,006 --> 00:17:02,804 MATCH STRIKES 244 00:17:11,044 --> 00:17:14,674 Right, I'm not gonna get any more in. I'll shift these back to the flat. 245 00:17:18,643 --> 00:17:20,521 Hi, Karen. 246 00:17:20,603 --> 00:17:23,323 - See you, babe! - See ya! 247 00:17:23,403 --> 00:17:26,759 - I'm late. Gotta get over to Longsight. - Can't you just sack it off? 248 00:17:29,682 --> 00:17:32,401 I need to talk to you. 249 00:17:32,481 --> 00:17:35,076 This is the first proper job I've ever had. 250 00:17:35,161 --> 00:17:37,198 Starting to feel like a normal member of society. 251 00:17:50,599 --> 00:17:52,555 Sorry I'm late, Sister. 252 00:18:01,837 --> 00:18:03,510 OK. 253 00:18:28,233 --> 00:18:30,623 BASS-HEAVY MUSIC THUMPS 254 00:18:41,631 --> 00:18:43,429 You'll never guess what just happened. 255 00:18:43,511 --> 00:18:44,786 What? 256 00:18:45,991 --> 00:18:48,426 No, no, I can't tell you. 257 00:18:49,630 --> 00:18:51,223 Sweet fit. 258 00:18:54,590 --> 00:18:56,069 What? 259 00:18:56,149 --> 00:18:58,027 I've been training and that. 260 00:18:58,109 --> 00:19:01,341 Whose is that eco disaster outside? 261 00:19:01,429 --> 00:19:03,181 Mine. 262 00:19:03,268 --> 00:19:05,339 FOOTSTEPS ON STAIRS 263 00:19:05,428 --> 00:19:07,738 Something like this? 264 00:19:07,828 --> 00:19:09,944 Exactly like this. 265 00:19:10,027 --> 00:19:12,064 The man's a Photoshop genius! 266 00:19:12,147 --> 00:19:14,616 - What are you up to? - Can't tell you. 267 00:19:22,826 --> 00:19:24,339 Liam... 268 00:19:26,105 --> 00:19:28,017 So it has come to this, 269 00:19:28,105 --> 00:19:32,701 that a decent, hard-working man of this once great nation 270 00:19:32,784 --> 00:19:38,142 should be deprived of a parent's basic staple - the child benefit! 271 00:19:38,223 --> 00:19:40,340 Well, if it comes to the choice 272 00:19:40,423 --> 00:19:43,860 of starving by the roadside or martyrdom... 273 00:19:46,942 --> 00:19:49,173 ..give me immortality! 274 00:19:50,222 --> 00:19:51,894 Change we need! 275 00:19:51,981 --> 00:19:54,098 I need change. I need change! 276 00:19:54,181 --> 00:19:56,491 I need change! Hey! Get out! 277 00:19:56,581 --> 00:19:59,812 I need change! I need change! 278 00:20:03,740 --> 00:20:07,619 See? What did I tell you? It's a recognised medical condition. 279 00:20:07,699 --> 00:20:10,009 What's this about child benefits? 280 00:20:10,099 --> 00:20:13,375 One of the few benefits of having 'em, and now they've stopped it. 281 00:20:13,458 --> 00:20:16,018 Well, what do you expect? 282 00:20:16,098 --> 00:20:18,454 Liam and Stella are wards of court, in foster care. 283 00:20:18,538 --> 00:20:21,735 So lickle Liam has to get a job in a call centre to pay for his Turkey Twizzlers? 284 00:20:21,817 --> 00:20:26,811 No. His foster parents are expected to pay for them out of their allowance. 285 00:20:26,896 --> 00:20:29,411 Foster care allowance. 286 00:20:29,496 --> 00:20:33,012 - Have you got any tinned pâté, Stan? - No, I don't think we sell it. 287 00:20:33,096 --> 00:20:35,132 £271.68 a week for Stella... 288 00:20:35,215 --> 00:20:38,367 It's like tripe and rabbit in jelly. Pâté - you know, for going on toast? 289 00:20:38,455 --> 00:20:40,253 ..for Liam. Where's my fuckin' end? 290 00:20:40,335 --> 00:20:43,088 - Did the tin have a picture of a cat? - That's it. 291 00:20:43,174 --> 00:20:46,611 ..any kids to foster if it wasn't for me. Me fuckin' child benefit's been stopped! 292 00:20:46,694 --> 00:20:49,765 - Was it called Pussy Munch? - That's it, that's the one. 293 00:20:49,853 --> 00:20:53,529 Bottom shelf, centre, next to the dog biscuits, Lillian. 294 00:20:53,613 --> 00:20:55,808 That money is to pay for their upkeep. 295 00:20:55,892 --> 00:21:00,045 - That money's stopped me child benefit. - Tough shit! I've had her all day anyway. 296 00:21:00,132 --> 00:21:03,124 Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! The Government themselves 297 00:21:03,211 --> 00:21:07,000 have decided to retire me from the parenting game. 298 00:21:07,091 --> 00:21:09,764 She's your legal responsibility now, Yvonne. 299 00:21:09,850 --> 00:21:12,570 You can't go abandoning children, can you? 300 00:21:12,650 --> 00:21:15,687 Frowned upon in fostering circles, innit? 301 00:21:15,769 --> 00:21:17,328 Right... 302 00:21:17,409 --> 00:21:21,449 I'll give Debbie £40 a week - that'll cover the child benefit. 303 00:21:21,529 --> 00:21:23,599 You have Stella nine while six daytimes, 304 00:21:23,688 --> 00:21:26,044 I'll give you £2 an hour. 305 00:21:26,128 --> 00:21:27,198 £2.50. 306 00:21:27,288 --> 00:21:29,007 -£2. -£2.40. 307 00:21:29,088 --> 00:21:29,964 £2. 308 00:21:30,047 --> 00:21:33,006 -£2.30. - I tell you what, how does £1.90 sound? 309 00:21:33,087 --> 00:21:34,077 £2.20. 310 00:21:34,167 --> 00:21:36,920 -£1.80. - All right. No, no, no. £2. 311 00:21:37,006 --> 00:21:38,042 £1.70. 312 00:21:38,126 --> 00:21:40,197 Oh, fuck's sake, deal, deal! 313 00:21:43,206 --> 00:21:45,356 One man can make a difference. 314 00:21:46,405 --> 00:21:48,078 You've got an e-mail, Yvonne. 315 00:21:48,165 --> 00:21:50,395 "We would be most delighted 316 00:21:50,484 --> 00:21:54,080 "to put your two exciting new signings on tonight's guest list. 317 00:21:54,164 --> 00:21:56,633 "Best wishes for the forthcoming season. Marco." 318 00:22:30,799 --> 00:22:33,836 LOUD MUSIC PLAYS 319 00:22:44,997 --> 00:22:46,828 How's this for low profile? 320 00:22:51,196 --> 00:22:52,755 Good evening, gentlemen. 321 00:23:21,671 --> 00:23:23,867 What the fuck are you doing here? 322 00:23:23,951 --> 00:23:27,547 Same as any other self-respecting young, free, single millionaire footballer. 323 00:23:27,631 --> 00:23:31,226 Here to claim a free bottle of champers. What other celebrities are here tonight? 324 00:23:31,310 --> 00:23:34,303 - You're not a celeb. - The guest list will beg to differ, Mark. 325 00:23:34,390 --> 00:23:36,585 Except that fucking idiot's told 'em I'm Danish. 326 00:23:36,669 --> 00:23:39,264 Watch out - there's girls in here hooked to the tabloids, 327 00:23:39,349 --> 00:23:43,422 looking for dumb young footballers to fill full of coke, fuck senseless, 328 00:23:43,508 --> 00:23:45,864 and expose to the papers. 329 00:23:45,948 --> 00:23:48,702 Right, well, if any of them come asking, I'll be over there. 330 00:23:53,627 --> 00:23:55,983 MUSIC DROWNS SPEECH 331 00:24:01,066 --> 00:24:05,059 (Tremulous) If you're waiting for me to beg for my life, 332 00:24:05,145 --> 00:24:07,614 I swear to you I won't. 333 00:24:11,904 --> 00:24:14,817 SHE WHIMPERS 334 00:24:43,180 --> 00:24:44,500 SHE SNIFFS 335 00:24:44,580 --> 00:24:45,933 (Paddy) I'm... 336 00:24:49,939 --> 00:24:51,851 ..I'm here to tell you I'm sorry. 337 00:25:00,617 --> 00:25:02,051 (I'm so sorry.) 338 00:25:10,936 --> 00:25:15,805 Ladies and gentlemen, can I just have your attention for a moment? 339 00:25:15,895 --> 00:25:18,888 We have a very special guest with us here tonight, 340 00:25:18,975 --> 00:25:23,491 all away from Ukraine, pop sensation Duma Paluma! 341 00:25:23,574 --> 00:25:25,850 CHEERING 342 00:25:33,453 --> 00:25:35,569 (Eastern European accent) There he is. 343 00:25:37,732 --> 00:25:39,610 As I am sure you all know, 344 00:25:39,692 --> 00:25:44,561 this is Danish international footballer Carlos Larsen. 345 00:25:44,651 --> 00:25:45,801 CHEERING 346 00:25:45,891 --> 00:25:48,485 He is very surprised for me to be here, 347 00:25:48,570 --> 00:25:52,041 as we have been together for four years tonight! 348 00:26:01,009 --> 00:26:07,005 You know, when I first saw him, he was playing in the final 349 00:26:07,088 --> 00:26:08,681 against Aberjaizan. 350 00:26:08,768 --> 00:26:13,046 And in the very last minutes, he took the ball from his own goal posts, 351 00:26:13,127 --> 00:26:17,006 down the wing, shaking off defenders, and scored the winning goal! 352 00:26:17,086 --> 00:26:18,805 CHEERING 353 00:26:20,046 --> 00:26:24,244 The crowd picked you up and carried you on their shoulders, 354 00:26:24,325 --> 00:26:26,317 chanting, "Carlos! Carlos!" 355 00:26:26,405 --> 00:26:31,081 And then, you started to cry... 356 00:26:32,404 --> 00:26:34,794 ..like a little girl. 357 00:26:34,884 --> 00:26:36,477 And then... 358 00:26:36,564 --> 00:26:39,078 you pissed your pants. 359 00:26:39,163 --> 00:26:41,723 UPROARIOUS LAUGHTER 360 00:26:44,242 --> 00:26:49,681 And you were standing in front of all of those people, 361 00:26:49,762 --> 00:26:52,959 sobbing like a little girl, with pissed pants. 362 00:26:54,081 --> 00:26:55,640 I said then, 363 00:26:55,721 --> 00:26:58,918 "That is passionate man. 364 00:27:01,120 --> 00:27:05,238 "One day, I would dance with that man." 365 00:27:08,399 --> 00:27:10,834 Happy birthday to you! 366 00:27:10,919 --> 00:27:15,709 CHEERING # Happy birthday to you 367 00:27:15,798 --> 00:27:18,074 # Happy birthday to you 368 00:27:18,158 --> 00:27:21,992 # Happy birthday, Carlos Larsen 369 00:27:22,077 --> 00:27:24,512 # Happy birthday to you! # 370 00:27:24,597 --> 00:27:26,986 CHEERING 371 00:27:28,156 --> 00:27:31,388 MUSIC STARTS 372 00:27:36,595 --> 00:27:38,985 Na zdorovje! 373 00:27:41,194 --> 00:27:43,834 Fuck me! Why are you doing this? 374 00:27:43,914 --> 00:27:46,031 Er, famous footballer, Carlos Larsen! 375 00:27:46,114 --> 00:27:49,902 (Eastern European accent) Happy birthday, Manchester football boy! 376 00:27:52,873 --> 00:27:55,023 Ladies and gentlemen, can I get you any more drinks? 377 00:27:55,112 --> 00:27:56,466 Vodka! 378 00:27:59,872 --> 00:28:01,385 Where are you from in Denmark? 379 00:28:02,911 --> 00:28:07,190 (Accent) Er, it's a little town, er... just outside of, er...Stockholm. 380 00:28:07,271 --> 00:28:10,866 - You probably won't know it. - I thought Stockholm was in Sweden. 381 00:28:16,469 --> 00:28:21,419 Well, yes, it is, um... a few miles from Sweden. 382 00:28:21,509 --> 00:28:24,228 - Near Ikea? - Yes. 383 00:28:26,068 --> 00:28:28,583 - And you're from Ukraine? - Oh, you know it? 384 00:28:28,668 --> 00:28:31,501 - No. - Then why the fuck you asking? 385 00:28:37,746 --> 00:28:39,260 MUSIC MUFFLED 386 00:28:41,346 --> 00:28:43,177 ZIP SLIDES 387 00:29:04,182 --> 00:29:06,936 You don't have much of an accent. 388 00:29:07,022 --> 00:29:10,413 Well, no, I've travelled around a lot, you know. 389 00:29:10,502 --> 00:29:12,618 Those girls, they are friends of yours? 390 00:29:14,741 --> 00:29:18,575 What, them? No, I've only just met 'em. Don't even know their names. 391 00:29:18,660 --> 00:29:22,017 Good. They remind me of wampires. 392 00:29:23,700 --> 00:29:26,658 Is it vee or wee in English? 393 00:29:26,739 --> 00:29:28,219 Vampires! 394 00:29:28,299 --> 00:29:30,939 No, it's wampires. You're right. 395 00:30:04,454 --> 00:30:05,649 PADDY LAUGHS 396 00:30:06,174 --> 00:30:07,926 They're both mental. 397 00:30:08,013 --> 00:30:11,404 As for Mandy, she's got herself a decent job, 398 00:30:11,493 --> 00:30:14,690 renting properties with her new fiancé. 399 00:30:16,612 --> 00:30:19,446 They've got an engagement party tomorrow night at The Jockey. 400 00:30:19,532 --> 00:30:22,365 It's the pub that... ELECTRIC FIZZLING 401 00:30:23,451 --> 00:30:25,408 ..Jamie, my eldest, runs. 402 00:30:27,970 --> 00:30:29,450 Nice. 403 00:30:43,848 --> 00:30:45,999 I've thought about you a lot. 404 00:30:47,608 --> 00:30:49,519 They call that Stockholm syndrome. 405 00:30:52,087 --> 00:30:53,567 And about Rachel. 406 00:31:00,246 --> 00:31:02,124 She was a good girl. 407 00:31:04,085 --> 00:31:05,485 Beautiful. 408 00:31:09,045 --> 00:31:12,082 She didn't hang out with the wrong sort. 409 00:31:12,164 --> 00:31:17,283 Ballet lessons, gymnastics, horse riding. 410 00:31:17,363 --> 00:31:21,755 Better schools. Extra tutoring. Never a minute spare. 411 00:31:25,882 --> 00:31:27,794 It was all thrown away... 412 00:31:28,922 --> 00:31:30,878 ..to die on the floor of a squat. 413 00:31:35,641 --> 00:31:37,200 A squat! 414 00:31:41,840 --> 00:31:43,274 Kids. 415 00:31:45,439 --> 00:31:47,999 Give them the opportunities you never had. 416 00:31:48,079 --> 00:31:49,593 Everything I never had. 417 00:31:49,679 --> 00:31:53,638 Not like me. I was pregnant and on my own at 19. 418 00:31:53,718 --> 00:31:55,277 - Yeah? - Mm-hm. 419 00:32:01,237 --> 00:32:03,957 Where is Mr Maureen? 420 00:32:04,037 --> 00:32:06,756 Oh, he's long gone. 421 00:32:08,956 --> 00:32:10,675 Yeah. 422 00:32:11,996 --> 00:32:15,466 You try keeping a man in your life with all that going on. 423 00:32:15,555 --> 00:32:17,626 They don't stay long, none of them. 424 00:32:21,194 --> 00:32:23,231 We didn't really see eye to eye 425 00:32:23,314 --> 00:32:27,307 when it came to keeping drug dealers tied up in the spare bedroom. 426 00:32:37,832 --> 00:32:39,027 So... 427 00:32:42,591 --> 00:32:43,991 Oh, sorry. 428 00:32:59,149 --> 00:33:01,106 He wasn't, um... 429 00:33:01,189 --> 00:33:04,738 he wasn't Rachel's dad or anything. 430 00:33:07,028 --> 00:33:08,700 Didn't really know her. 431 00:33:20,266 --> 00:33:22,019 Sooner or later... 432 00:33:24,025 --> 00:33:26,494 ..everybody runs away from me. 433 00:33:30,304 --> 00:33:32,819 - Did Rachel run away? - Yeah. 434 00:33:34,744 --> 00:33:36,303 Why do you think she did that? 435 00:33:38,823 --> 00:33:40,382 I don't know. 436 00:33:43,542 --> 00:33:45,056 Must've hurt. 437 00:33:47,302 --> 00:33:49,373 You pick up the pieces. 438 00:34:00,100 --> 00:34:01,978 You ever see her again? 439 00:34:02,060 --> 00:34:03,813 Um... 440 00:34:03,900 --> 00:34:08,974 Um...there was this one time she came... she came and called at the house, yeah. 441 00:34:09,059 --> 00:34:10,459 But... 442 00:34:12,738 --> 00:34:14,138 You didn't see her? 443 00:34:16,218 --> 00:34:19,335 Er...no, not quite. I did, um... 444 00:34:19,417 --> 00:34:23,570 yeah, I opened the door, but... 445 00:34:34,415 --> 00:34:36,452 Did you shut that door on her, Maureen? 446 00:34:39,534 --> 00:34:40,650 What? 447 00:34:40,734 --> 00:34:42,327 Did she come to you for help? 448 00:34:47,093 --> 00:34:50,052 She needed to learn that there were boundaries, 449 00:34:50,133 --> 00:34:54,172 and she couldn't just come swanning back into my life with all that chaos. 450 00:34:54,252 --> 00:34:56,164 I'd moved on! 451 00:34:58,132 --> 00:35:00,203 I needed to show her I was serious! 452 00:35:06,131 --> 00:35:08,042 I didn't think that she'd... 453 00:35:08,130 --> 00:35:11,487 All this time, you've been looking for someone to blame. 454 00:35:16,289 --> 00:35:19,965 If I knew who was responsible for the death of my child, 455 00:35:20,049 --> 00:35:23,041 I'd personally deliver them to the gates of hell. 456 00:36:00,923 --> 00:36:04,074 MUSIC PLAYS Tune! 457 00:36:06,402 --> 00:36:10,078 FRANK LAUGHS DRUNKENLY Fucking bloke from the tabloid... 458 00:36:11,281 --> 00:36:12,431 ..says... 459 00:36:12,521 --> 00:36:17,515 "Cheers for the fuckin' video, mate, 460 00:36:17,600 --> 00:36:20,513 "but...there doesn't appear to be 461 00:36:20,600 --> 00:36:25,310 "any players from United called...Chesney! 462 00:36:26,719 --> 00:36:29,393 "But feel free 463 00:36:29,479 --> 00:36:32,312 "to send any other videos you may have 464 00:36:32,398 --> 00:36:35,914 "of you sucking off... 465 00:36:35,998 --> 00:36:38,229 "anybody!" 466 00:36:48,716 --> 00:36:50,514 Do you fancy coming upstairs, then? 467 00:36:53,715 --> 00:36:56,913 - What's up with you? - You. 468 00:36:56,995 --> 00:36:59,668 Why are you being all moody now? I thought we had a buzz. 469 00:36:59,754 --> 00:37:02,588 It was a laugh, being different people. 470 00:37:02,674 --> 00:37:06,190 But now you default to being the same reject from a Carry On film. 471 00:37:14,552 --> 00:37:16,703 Do you want to hear a theory? 472 00:37:16,792 --> 00:37:18,192 Carl... 473 00:37:18,272 --> 00:37:19,831 not as thick as he looks. 474 00:37:19,912 --> 00:37:21,391 Hmm. 475 00:37:21,471 --> 00:37:22,905 Hmm. 476 00:37:22,991 --> 00:37:26,621 It's a wild theory. And if it's true, the universe might just implode. 477 00:37:26,711 --> 00:37:28,429 What if it's all a ploy 478 00:37:28,510 --> 00:37:30,149 - to make you jealous? - How? 479 00:37:30,230 --> 00:37:32,620 I might have been interested once, but now... 480 00:37:32,710 --> 00:37:35,827 Cos it did provoke a pretty extreme reaction. 481 00:37:35,909 --> 00:37:38,663 He might not have anticipated you turning up at the club. 482 00:37:38,749 --> 00:37:42,662 But since you did, all your cards are laid on the table. 483 00:37:42,748 --> 00:37:44,865 Any attempt at bluffing's meaningless. 484 00:37:46,228 --> 00:37:49,379 - Get the fuck out of here! - (Ian) Come on, Metal Micky. 485 00:37:49,467 --> 00:37:51,743 MEN CHEER DRUNKENLY 486 00:38:00,146 --> 00:38:02,614 BABY CRIES The wonder of nature, Bunty. 487 00:38:02,705 --> 00:38:05,220 A joy to be around. A gift. 488 00:38:05,305 --> 00:38:09,344 Yeah. It's a shame you never had any of your own. 489 00:38:09,424 --> 00:38:13,338 You can't put a price on spending time with your kids. 490 00:38:13,424 --> 00:38:15,939 But if you had to, how does 50 pence an hour sound? 491 00:38:17,823 --> 00:38:21,612 The RSPCA might not be prepared to give you a second chance, Bunty, but I will. 492 00:38:21,703 --> 00:38:24,422 - Deal. - Great. 493 00:38:24,502 --> 00:38:26,175 See you later. 494 00:38:29,542 --> 00:38:32,375 If I can give him a second chance, you should be able to. 495 00:38:32,461 --> 00:38:35,977 You can't go through with this. You've got to call this engagement off. 496 00:38:36,061 --> 00:38:39,451 I'm trying to tell you something, and I don't know how to tell you it. 497 00:38:39,540 --> 00:38:42,339 Would this be the same thing you've been saying since I met him? 498 00:38:42,420 --> 00:38:47,289 No! Although I do think he's a cunt, and I wish you'd never laid eyes on him. 499 00:38:47,379 --> 00:38:49,848 Have you any idea what it's like trying to move on, 500 00:38:49,939 --> 00:38:51,691 knowing that not even everyone you know 501 00:38:51,778 --> 00:38:54,009 but everyone you care about thinks you're a knob 502 00:38:54,098 --> 00:38:56,613 because of something they know fuck-all about? 503 00:38:56,698 --> 00:39:00,008 Any fucking idea how insulting to my intelligence that is? 504 00:39:00,097 --> 00:39:01,656 He fucked me! 505 00:39:05,416 --> 00:39:07,169 I'm pregnant. 506 00:39:20,294 --> 00:39:21,808 Karen... 507 00:39:22,894 --> 00:39:24,408 ..you need help. 508 00:39:26,493 --> 00:39:29,088 I think you might need to see someone. 509 00:39:29,173 --> 00:39:31,972 You're retreating into your own little fantasy world 510 00:39:32,053 --> 00:39:34,408 to compensate for your problems. 511 00:39:34,492 --> 00:39:36,324 Problems? 512 00:39:36,412 --> 00:39:38,165 Losing the baby. 513 00:39:38,252 --> 00:39:41,085 And I know you're not happy. 514 00:39:42,371 --> 00:39:44,283 Joe's told me about what happened... 515 00:39:45,691 --> 00:39:47,204 ..when you... 516 00:39:47,290 --> 00:39:50,044 You coming on to him at the football. 517 00:39:51,370 --> 00:39:52,724 I'm not angry. 518 00:39:55,249 --> 00:39:58,287 - He's not angry. - What the fuck are you talking about? 519 00:39:58,369 --> 00:40:01,805 Karen, it's not an admission of defeat to take some help. 520 00:40:03,728 --> 00:40:05,162 Do you know what? 521 00:40:07,728 --> 00:40:13,359 Just get the fuck away from me! I was trying to help you. 522 00:40:13,447 --> 00:40:15,006 Just do one! 523 00:40:15,086 --> 00:40:16,725 KNOCK AT DOOR 524 00:40:17,766 --> 00:40:19,962 Sorry. Mandy, phone for you. 525 00:40:23,885 --> 00:40:25,763 You're not gonna believe this. 526 00:40:25,845 --> 00:40:29,155 A woman's just called to say she's found a wallet 527 00:40:29,244 --> 00:40:32,203 with 300 quid in it, no ID, just a raffle ticket 528 00:40:32,284 --> 00:40:35,402 for a raffle at The Jockey pub, Chatsworth. 529 00:40:35,484 --> 00:40:38,396 Can I return it to the rightful owner, or should she take it to the police station? 530 00:40:38,483 --> 00:40:40,952 - No! - Serious! 531 00:40:41,043 --> 00:40:45,116 - That could be someone's wages. - Wages? Wages? That's a killer! 532 00:40:47,802 --> 00:40:49,759 OK. Attention, everyone! 533 00:40:49,842 --> 00:40:52,879 It's probably not worth asking, but has anyone lost a wallet 534 00:40:52,961 --> 00:40:54,918 with 300 quid... 535 00:40:55,001 --> 00:40:57,834 UPROAR 536 00:41:01,960 --> 00:41:03,758 300 quid...raffle ticket... 537 00:41:03,840 --> 00:41:05,956 There is no wallet. She's winding you up. 538 00:41:06,039 --> 00:41:10,636 Seriously, I was just sat there thinking, "I'll just get myself another pint." 539 00:41:10,719 --> 00:41:15,190 I put my hand in my pocket and thought, "That's funny - where's my wallet?" 540 00:41:15,278 --> 00:41:17,873 - I'm just... - As if you'd buy a raffle ticket. 541 00:41:20,677 --> 00:41:22,350 How dare you?! 542 00:41:24,757 --> 00:41:28,716 Nice little engagement gift, that. Just get back here with the dough, rapid. 543 00:41:28,796 --> 00:41:31,868 I can't be dealing with this engagement do and the family on my own. 544 00:41:31,956 --> 00:41:34,265 - Thanks, mate. - Hey. See you later. 545 00:41:44,394 --> 00:41:46,510 TAPPING 546 00:41:48,953 --> 00:41:53,185 And so, in the time-honoured tradition of the fairytale, 547 00:41:53,272 --> 00:41:57,061 it begins, "Once upon a time..." 548 00:41:57,152 --> 00:42:00,622 and ends, "..happily ever after". 549 00:42:00,711 --> 00:42:06,150 But...just like old Lenny Crabsticks sang in that song... 550 00:42:06,231 --> 00:42:10,907 sometimes it ain't over till it's over. 551 00:42:15,909 --> 00:42:21,063 Hello. I'm Mandy Maguire. We spoke on the phone earlier about the wallet. 552 00:42:25,588 --> 00:42:29,979 And the winning ticket is...number 76! 553 00:42:30,067 --> 00:42:31,979 Yeah, baby! 554 00:42:35,586 --> 00:42:38,101 Get on! Yeah! 555 00:42:47,905 --> 00:42:50,260 Hello, sweetheart. How are you? 556 00:42:51,384 --> 00:42:52,784 You all right? 557 00:42:52,864 --> 00:42:54,093 Mimi. 558 00:42:54,184 --> 00:42:58,496 That problem. I want you to know I've fixed it. 559 00:42:58,583 --> 00:43:00,097 Maureen? 560 00:43:00,183 --> 00:43:04,620 That psycho bitch was outside my house at 5 o'clock this morning, 561 00:43:04,702 --> 00:43:09,493 threatening to kill herself, screaming all over the estate, looking for you. 562 00:43:09,582 --> 00:43:11,538 You haven't sorted anything. 563 00:43:11,621 --> 00:43:14,011 You've just made things worse. 564 00:43:14,101 --> 00:43:15,820 Now you really will have to sort it. 565 00:43:15,901 --> 00:43:17,414 Joe's car's outside. They're here. 566 00:43:22,220 --> 00:43:23,779 Ssh! 567 00:43:25,779 --> 00:43:28,533 ALL CHEER 568 00:43:31,378 --> 00:43:33,688 Oh, shit, she's not with me. She won't be long. 569 00:43:45,096 --> 00:43:48,328 (Sighing) I'm, um... 570 00:43:50,056 --> 00:43:52,365 ..a friend of your father's. 571 00:43:55,855 --> 00:43:57,369 Are you Maureen? 572 00:44:00,174 --> 00:44:02,006 The one that kidnapped him? 573 00:44:06,653 --> 00:44:09,407 I just think it's about time we put this whole thing to bed, 574 00:44:09,493 --> 00:44:11,405 If you'll help me. 575 00:44:17,892 --> 00:44:19,883 I'll just go and see if the kettle's boiled. 576 00:44:32,450 --> 00:44:35,248 It's not fair. I took that call. She could have told me about it. 577 00:44:35,329 --> 00:44:38,800 300 quid? No way would I have told any of you fuckers! 578 00:44:38,889 --> 00:44:40,687 - Why didn't she? - I dunno. 579 00:44:40,769 --> 00:44:43,237 She specifically asked for Mandy Maguire. 580 00:44:43,328 --> 00:44:46,639 I should have just asked, "What's it regarding?" 581 00:44:50,727 --> 00:44:53,003 PHONE KEYS BLEEP 582 00:45:15,164 --> 00:45:17,075 QUIET HISSING 583 00:45:18,563 --> 00:45:21,476 Hello! Hello? 584 00:45:26,362 --> 00:45:29,002 HISSING 585 00:45:29,082 --> 00:45:30,515 PHONE RINGS 586 00:45:30,601 --> 00:45:32,558 SHE COUGHS 587 00:45:39,160 --> 00:45:42,995 Mandy, when you get this message, call your da as soon as possible, OK? 588 00:45:57,438 --> 00:45:58,871 Get out the fucking way! 589 00:46:07,476 --> 00:46:09,866 THEY COUGH 590 00:46:35,872 --> 00:46:37,147 Mandy! 591 00:46:37,232 --> 00:46:39,428 Mandy! Mandy! 592 00:46:39,512 --> 00:46:41,150 Are you in there? 593 00:46:41,231 --> 00:46:43,621 Dad! Dad! 594 00:46:45,711 --> 00:46:46,383 Dad! 595 00:46:47,510 --> 00:46:49,661 Mandy! 596 00:47:00,748 --> 00:47:01,898 No! 597 00:47:11,867 --> 00:47:14,257 GLASS TINKLES 598 00:47:22,225 --> 00:47:24,103 GLASS SMASHES 599 00:47:38,103 --> 00:47:41,619 (Kelly) "And Froggy said, 'What an adventure,' 600 00:47:41,703 --> 00:47:46,857 "as he yawned a big yawn and snuggled up in his bed to have lovely dreams. " 601 00:47:46,942 --> 00:47:50,935 He won't go into the woods by himself again now, will he? 602 00:47:51,021 --> 00:47:53,900 That's little Froggy there, isn't it? He's got his mirror... 603 00:47:53,981 --> 00:47:56,052 (Sniffing)..and his backpack. 604 00:47:56,141 --> 00:47:57,654 Do you know what that is? 605 00:47:58,500 --> 00:48:00,537 That's a duck, isn't it? 606 00:48:01,900 --> 00:48:03,697 Can you turn the page? 607 00:48:07,019 --> 00:48:08,692 That's it, you've got it. 608 00:48:14,378 --> 00:48:18,007 Mam and Dad are going to take the rest of the ashes back to Ireland. 609 00:48:18,097 --> 00:48:20,532 Scatter them in the Shannon. 610 00:48:21,617 --> 00:48:24,530 That's nice, mate. It's really thoughtful. 611 00:48:24,616 --> 00:48:27,370 You know I'm here for you. 612 00:48:27,456 --> 00:48:30,210 If you need anything... 613 00:48:44,294 --> 00:48:50,290 # 'Tis the last rose of summer 614 00:48:50,373 --> 00:48:56,164 # Left blooming alone 615 00:48:56,252 --> 00:49:03,840 # All her lovely companions 616 00:49:03,931 --> 00:49:09,324 # Are faded and gone 617 00:49:09,410 --> 00:49:16,168 # No flower of her kindred 618 00:49:16,249 --> 00:49:25,157 # No rosebud is nigh 619 00:49:27,847 --> 00:49:34,719 MANDY'S VOICE JOINS IN # To reflect back her blushes 620 00:49:34,806 --> 00:49:41,996 # Or to give sigh for sigh 621 00:49:43,605 --> 00:49:49,874 # I'll not leave thee, thou lone one 622 00:49:49,964 --> 00:49:57,643 # To pine on the stem 623 00:49:57,723 --> 00:50:03,992 # Since the lovely are sleeping 624 00:50:04,082 --> 00:50:11,079 # Go sleep now with them 625 00:50:11,161 --> 00:50:18,351 # Most kindly I'll scatter 626 00:50:18,440 --> 00:50:27,758 # Thy leaves on the bed 627 00:50:30,159 --> 00:50:37,633 # Where thy mates of thy garden 628 00:50:37,717 --> 00:50:45,146 # Lie scentless and dead. # 629 00:50:59,114 --> 00:51:01,026 TAPPING 630 00:51:06,033 --> 00:51:07,752 Yee-hah! 631 00:51:07,833 --> 00:51:10,985 MUSIC: I'm Shipping Up To Boston by Dropkick Murphys 632 00:51:48,187 --> 00:51:51,419 # I'm a sailor peg and I've lost my leg 633 00:51:51,507 --> 00:51:55,864 # Climbing up the topsails I lost my leg... # 634 00:52:09,064 --> 00:52:10,259 Fuck off. 635 00:52:18,383 --> 00:52:21,694 November 1989. 636 00:52:21,783 --> 00:52:25,571 - Don't fucking touch me. - The Stone Roses played Ally Pally. 637 00:52:25,662 --> 00:52:31,373 Half of Manchester followed them down on coaches put on from Piccadilly. 638 00:52:31,461 --> 00:52:35,057 Me and Monica took the kids. They were all there... 639 00:52:35,141 --> 00:52:37,575 - Fuck off! -..in the right place at the right time, 640 00:52:37,660 --> 00:52:41,813 buzzing our tits off to the single most important band since the Beatles, 641 00:52:41,900 --> 00:52:46,416 when, after standing here, some wrong 'un down the front 642 00:52:46,499 --> 00:52:51,289 starts chanting, "Manchester, la, la, la, Manchester, la, la, la. " 643 00:52:51,378 --> 00:52:53,973 And Ian Brown just says to him, 644 00:52:54,058 --> 00:52:57,573 "It ain't where you're from, mate, it's where you're at. Right?" 645 00:52:57,657 --> 00:53:01,492 That band could have changed the world. 646 00:53:01,577 --> 00:53:06,776 It was theirs for the taking. They had it all. 647 00:53:06,856 --> 00:53:09,530 It were just like Georgie Best 20 years earlier. 648 00:53:09,616 --> 00:53:14,849 What could have been never was, and it broke our hearts. 649 00:53:14,935 --> 00:53:19,451 Manchester, the world's first industrial ghetto. 650 00:53:19,534 --> 00:53:23,972 It ain't where you're from, it's where you're at. 651 00:53:24,054 --> 00:53:28,445 So 20 years on, this is where we're at. 652 00:53:29,973 --> 00:53:31,930 Bon Viveurs R Us. 653 00:53:32,013 --> 00:53:35,801 People round here make the most of the time they've been given, 654 00:53:35,892 --> 00:53:40,886 and they know that life is unfair and all too brief. 655 00:53:40,971 --> 00:53:45,682 All right, some of them might have had too many nipples and not enough teeth, 656 00:53:45,771 --> 00:53:48,842 but when all's said and done, they're smart enough 657 00:53:48,930 --> 00:53:52,719 to understand that one of the most vital necessities in life - 658 00:53:52,810 --> 00:53:57,725 and death, for that matter - is they know how to throw a party! 659 00:53:59,369 --> 00:54:02,566 (Paddy) Gallaghe-e-e-e-er! 660 00:54:02,648 --> 00:54:04,560 Scatter! 661 00:54:55,881 --> 00:54:58,111 - Yeah? - My name's Miss Twill. 662 00:54:58,200 --> 00:54:59,953 I'm a foster care assessor. 663 00:55:00,040 --> 00:55:01,793 I have an appointment. 664 00:55:01,880 --> 00:55:03,791 They don't live here any more. They're next door. 665 00:55:03,879 --> 00:55:06,758 I have an interview with a Mr Francis Gallagher. 666 00:55:06,839 --> 00:55:09,877 He's registered his interest in becoming a foster parent. 667 00:55:09,959 --> 00:55:11,677 Urgh! 51232

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