Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,360 --> 00:00:05,399
Anyone watching thinking we know
fuck all about knowing fuck all
2
00:00:05,400 --> 00:00:08,119
about owt, needs to watch
their back...
3
00:00:08,120 --> 00:00:11,319
So you've had your Labour,
reclassifying skunk,
4
00:00:11,320 --> 00:00:12,999
sending prices sky-high,
5
00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:17,639
literally, literally taking
the grass from its own roots!
6
00:00:17,640 --> 00:00:19,720
And now you've got
your ConDemNation,
7
00:00:19,721 --> 00:00:23,119
Liberals noshing Tories like
altar boys picking dimps up!
8
00:00:23,120 --> 00:00:27,879
Have we had a national
fucking stroke... or what?
9
00:00:27,880 --> 00:00:31,279
Is revolution a word
or was it never?
10
00:00:31,280 --> 00:00:34,079
Anybody watching, needs to know,
we cope better than average
11
00:00:34,080 --> 00:00:36,839
with irony in Chatsworth.
12
00:00:36,840 --> 00:00:41,879
Well, for fuck's sake, we live
in Manchester and they charge us
13
00:00:41,880 --> 00:00:43,839
for water!
14
00:00:43,840 --> 00:00:48,199
I wandered lonely as a clown,
necking mushrooms rarely found...
15
00:00:48,200 --> 00:00:51,399
This green and pleasant land
in ancient times...
16
00:00:51,400 --> 00:00:53,959
Yak, yak, yak, yak, yak, yak,
yak, yak, yak!
17
00:00:53,960 --> 00:00:57,239
It's not theirs any more.
18
00:00:57,240 --> 00:00:59,719
This is our England now!
19
00:00:59,720 --> 00:01:02,279
Paaaarty!
20
00:01:02,280 --> 00:01:07,200
Contains strong language, scenes of
a sexual nature and some violence.
21
00:01:10,040 --> 00:01:13,120
The first throes of love
are all about passion.
22
00:01:14,560 --> 00:01:18,359
Eyes, hands, lips, limbs, kisses,
23
00:01:18,360 --> 00:01:22,719
I love yous and promises
of never-ending devotion.
24
00:01:22,720 --> 00:01:27,879
Burning to memory every nook
and cranny of that face,
25
00:01:27,880 --> 00:01:31,479
that body, drowning in each other,
getting your fill,
26
00:01:31,480 --> 00:01:33,919
getting more than your fill,
that thirst
27
00:01:33,920 --> 00:01:37,279
you can never really quench,
no matter how much you try.
28
00:01:37,280 --> 00:01:40,759
And fuck knows we try, don't we?
29
00:01:40,760 --> 00:01:44,479
'I read in some mag,
in a waiting room years back, that...
30
00:01:44,480 --> 00:01:48,119
'if you put a coin in a jar every
time you made love in the first
31
00:01:48,120 --> 00:01:51,399
'three years of your relationship,
then took one out every time
32
00:01:51,400 --> 00:01:53,879
'you did it after three years... '
33
00:01:53,880 --> 00:01:55,519
Yeah, yeah!
34
00:01:55,520 --> 00:01:58,079
'..you'd never ever, ever, ever... '
35
00:01:58,080 --> 00:02:00,359
Yeah, yeah!
36
00:02:00,360 --> 00:02:01,560
'..be able to empty it.'
37
00:02:22,920 --> 00:02:25,119
Cum again and soon.
38
00:02:25,120 --> 00:02:27,519
Not too soon though, eh, Tiger?
39
00:02:27,520 --> 00:02:29,160
Give me some time to recover.
40
00:02:33,080 --> 00:02:34,719
Dickhead.
41
00:02:34,720 --> 00:02:35,158
He's tipped you?
42
00:02:35,159 --> 00:02:36,278
He thinks he made me cum.
43
00:02:36,279 --> 00:02:37,960
Screams were almost convincing.
44
00:02:37,961 --> 00:02:39,639
The yelps helped.
45
00:02:39,640 --> 00:02:41,759
I had cramp. Came in handy.
46
00:02:41,760 --> 00:02:43,080
I can spot a fake a mile off.
47
00:02:43,081 --> 00:02:45,399
Well, I guess you've pulled
a few in your time.
48
00:02:45,400 --> 00:02:47,199
Didn't need to.
49
00:02:47,200 --> 00:02:49,358
My Brendan were gifted
in the trouser department.
50
00:02:49,359 --> 00:02:51,640
When he stripped off
put me in mind of a tripod.
51
00:02:53,800 --> 00:02:55,600
Any chance of you finishing early?
52
00:02:55,601 --> 00:02:58,479
We've got a stag do in any minute
now. I'd leave the girls to it
53
00:02:58,480 --> 00:03:00,639
but we need all hands on deck
for this one.
54
00:03:00,640 --> 00:03:03,839
Lillian just took a call
and the lads've been chewing Viagra
55
00:03:03,840 --> 00:03:05,399
since they left Burnley.
56
00:03:05,400 --> 00:03:08,079
They won't walk in,
they'll be pole vaulting.
57
00:03:08,080 --> 00:03:10,200
No worries. I'll catch
you later then, OK?
58
00:03:12,280 --> 00:03:14,759
He knows... that you're lying.
59
00:03:14,760 --> 00:03:17,519
Orgasms aren't the only thing
I'm good at faking.
60
00:03:17,520 --> 00:03:19,040
He hasn't got a clue.
61
00:03:20,520 --> 00:03:21,920
Don't know what's wrong
with her lately.
62
00:03:21,921 --> 00:03:23,720
I do.
63
00:03:28,720 --> 00:03:29,878
It's too small.
64
00:03:29,879 --> 00:03:31,800
It'll keep the wind off your back.
65
00:03:31,801 --> 00:03:35,759
Yeah and give me twatting frostbite
at the front.
66
00:03:35,760 --> 00:03:38,639
I'll look like a fucking nutter.
67
00:03:38,640 --> 00:03:39,960
But you are a fucking nutter.
68
00:03:39,961 --> 00:03:41,799
Take no notice.
69
00:03:41,800 --> 00:03:44,039
Beggars can't be choosers.
70
00:03:44,040 --> 00:03:46,999
As soon as you get a few bob
rolling in, it's me and you
71
00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:49,679
straight down to Primani
for a proper makeover.
72
00:03:49,680 --> 00:03:51,680
But until then,
it's our Shane's cast-offs.
73
00:03:51,681 --> 00:03:52,839
It suits you.
74
00:03:52,840 --> 00:03:54,519
Yeah, it looks... nice.
75
00:03:54,520 --> 00:03:56,480
It's pink and it smells of perfume.
76
00:03:56,481 --> 00:03:59,239
Only real men can wear pink.
And it's aftershave that.
77
00:03:59,240 --> 00:04:01,919
This is a bird's fluffy jumper.
78
00:04:01,920 --> 00:04:03,678
Angora. He's allergic to manmade.
79
00:04:03,679 --> 00:04:05,040
It's got tit shapes in it.
80
00:04:05,041 --> 00:04:07,079
Must've been me mam's.
81
00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:10,200
You need to try it on.
82
00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:18,679
You look lovely.
83
00:04:18,680 --> 00:04:21,279
None of it fits! Right?
84
00:04:21,280 --> 00:04:22,879
I can't survive much longer
85
00:04:22,880 --> 00:04:25,799
on two pairs of socks, three
T-shirts and a pair of undies.
86
00:04:25,800 --> 00:04:28,039
Just one pair?
87
00:04:28,040 --> 00:04:31,119
I wish I'd known that sooner.
88
00:04:31,120 --> 00:04:34,039
I'm only on a tea break.
89
00:04:34,040 --> 00:04:35,480
Laters.
90
00:04:38,200 --> 00:04:41,439
Look, just go commando
whilst they wash and dry.
91
00:04:41,440 --> 00:04:42,800
Ready for action.
92
00:04:42,801 --> 00:04:44,519
Homo! Sorry.
93
00:04:44,520 --> 00:04:46,880
I can't, I'll chafe.
94
00:04:52,120 --> 00:04:54,920
It was only going go on a bottle
of baby oil and some poppers.
95
00:05:00,240 --> 00:05:01,840
You've been a pal to me, Micky.
96
00:05:01,841 --> 00:05:04,399
And if I were queer,
I'd bum you here and now.
97
00:05:04,400 --> 00:05:06,400
Thanks, Marty.
98
00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:11,199
You're going to make someone
a lovely wife... partner one day.
99
00:05:11,200 --> 00:05:13,680
But I've got to stand up
on my own two feet.
100
00:05:13,681 --> 00:05:16,480
I need cash,
so I'll have to do a job.
101
00:05:17,640 --> 00:05:19,080
Get a job.
102
00:05:22,280 --> 00:05:23,480
Everybody get down!
103
00:05:25,160 --> 00:05:26,839
Shut up. Shut your...
104
00:05:26,840 --> 00:05:28,278
This is a fuck up!
105
00:05:28,279 --> 00:05:30,240
Shut the fuck up...
this is a stick up!
106
00:05:30,241 --> 00:05:32,480
Rectal prolapse!
107
00:05:33,600 --> 00:05:35,880
Gimme the money, gimme the money!
108
00:05:39,720 --> 00:05:41,039
Evil...!
109
00:05:41,040 --> 00:05:42,160
Fuck off!
110
00:05:46,560 --> 00:05:49,159
Sit down, wait till you see this.
It's class!
111
00:05:49,160 --> 00:05:51,080
Come on, you're in my seat.
112
00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:56,440
Soon have you smiling again, girl!
113
00:06:03,160 --> 00:06:05,799
Isn't that the shittest...
114
00:06:05,800 --> 00:06:08,439
crappest robber
you have ever seen?
115
00:06:08,440 --> 00:06:10,359
How much did he get away with?
116
00:06:10,360 --> 00:06:12,919
Enough for some chips and a taxi
home!
117
00:06:12,920 --> 00:06:14,120
Fucking shame of it!
118
00:06:26,040 --> 00:06:27,720
You know who that was?
119
00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:31,679
You know.
120
00:06:31,680 --> 00:06:33,159
I don't know.
121
00:06:33,160 --> 00:06:36,439
So... why don't you tell me?
122
00:06:36,440 --> 00:06:37,320
Marty.
123
00:06:37,321 --> 00:06:38,799
How'd you know?
124
00:06:38,800 --> 00:06:40,120
He was wearing my old coat.
125
00:06:40,121 --> 00:06:42,799
Not his style, is it?
Armed robbery, not the coat.
126
00:06:42,800 --> 00:06:44,679
I don't his fucking style.
127
00:06:44,680 --> 00:06:47,799
It's only a matter of time before
the filth get their shit together
128
00:06:47,800 --> 00:06:50,279
and clock it's him.
129
00:06:50,280 --> 00:06:52,439
And? Arrest him.
130
00:06:52,440 --> 00:06:53,480
You're not arsed?
131
00:06:53,481 --> 00:06:55,319
He's a punter, Shane.
132
00:06:55,320 --> 00:06:58,919
Offering ten-grand reward
for somebody to grass him up.
133
00:06:58,920 --> 00:07:01,599
If he's daft enough to threaten
people with a gun,
134
00:07:01,600 --> 00:07:03,399
he deserves grassing up.
135
00:07:03,400 --> 00:07:04,840
It's deposit on a house that,
you know, ten grand.
136
00:07:04,841 --> 00:07:08,040
Maguires don't grass.
137
00:07:12,480 --> 00:07:14,599
Fucking stupid though, weren't it?
138
00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:17,359
He is fucking stupid.
139
00:07:17,360 --> 00:07:19,319
Aren't you?!
140
00:07:19,320 --> 00:07:20,719
I said aren't you!?
141
00:07:20,720 --> 00:07:23,039
What the fuck was I supposed to do?
142
00:07:23,040 --> 00:07:25,679
I'm here, skint, I can't work,
I can't sign on.
143
00:07:25,680 --> 00:07:27,719
What, in case the police catch you
144
00:07:27,720 --> 00:07:30,039
for non-payment of maintenance,
you mean?
145
00:07:30,040 --> 00:07:33,999
As opposed to armed fucking robbery,
you gormless twat!
146
00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:35,440
I needed money!
147
00:07:35,441 --> 00:07:36,999
Then ask!
148
00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:40,799
Don't go holding up Post Offices
with fucking guns!
149
00:07:40,800 --> 00:07:42,479
You could've killed someone,
150
00:07:42,480 --> 00:07:45,279
some poor bastard
collecting their pension.
151
00:07:45,280 --> 00:07:48,560
You could've got killed yourself
and then what would I have done?!
152
00:07:52,760 --> 00:07:55,399
I mean, how would I have explained
that to Sue?
153
00:07:55,400 --> 00:07:57,680
Where'd you get the gun?
154
00:07:59,080 --> 00:08:02,799
They're stashed here! It's family
stuff, you know the score, Kel!
155
00:08:02,800 --> 00:08:06,519
You keep him away from guns, you got
that? Guns and fucking matches!
156
00:08:06,520 --> 00:08:07,919
Sorry!
157
00:08:07,920 --> 00:08:10,519
It could bring a load
of trouble and...
158
00:08:10,520 --> 00:08:12,999
We've had enough... That... that gun,
159
00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:15,680
could be linked to Shane,
maybe and they'll...
160
00:08:29,440 --> 00:08:31,080
You're looking lovely.
161
00:08:32,840 --> 00:08:35,679
You do, you look dead nice, like.
Nice.
162
00:08:35,680 --> 00:08:38,159
Proper like... glowing,
163
00:08:38,160 --> 00:08:39,560
healthily.
164
00:08:40,680 --> 00:08:43,239
I was thinking... do you want me
to make tea tonight?
165
00:08:43,240 --> 00:08:44,238
What's going on?
166
00:08:44,239 --> 00:08:46,200
Why would anything be going on?
167
00:08:46,201 --> 00:08:48,839
I was married longer
than you've been alive.
168
00:08:48,840 --> 00:08:51,919
And I know that when a man's
buttering you up
169
00:08:51,920 --> 00:08:54,399
with a string of compliments,
he's about to do
170
00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:56,519
one of two things -
confess or request.
171
00:08:56,520 --> 00:08:58,319
Which is it?
172
00:08:58,320 --> 00:08:59,440
Er...
173
00:08:59,441 --> 00:09:02,959
Don't lie! If you've got
something to say, say it.
174
00:09:02,960 --> 00:09:04,360
I've just...
175
00:09:04,361 --> 00:09:05,679
Speak!
176
00:09:05,680 --> 00:09:09,599
Well, now it's out in the open,
who Cilla's dad is,
177
00:09:09,600 --> 00:09:11,640
I was thinking if like...
if we could...
178
00:09:11,641 --> 00:09:15,079
well, when she's Christened,
if we could give her a second name?
179
00:09:15,080 --> 00:09:17,280
You know, cos her mam
gave her her first name,
180
00:09:17,281 --> 00:09:19,280
her dad can give her her second.
181
00:09:19,281 --> 00:09:21,279
What were you thinking of?
182
00:09:21,280 --> 00:09:21,918
Maureen.
183
00:09:21,919 --> 00:09:22,678
Fuck off.
184
00:09:22,679 --> 00:09:23,760
What, it's me mam's name.
185
00:09:23,761 --> 00:09:25,519
She can keep it.
186
00:09:25,520 --> 00:09:28,359
It's not fair, Mimi.
You get to do everything
187
00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:30,720
and I just get shit on by you,
Shane, Jamie and Micky.
188
00:09:30,721 --> 00:09:31,959
OK.
189
00:09:31,960 --> 00:09:34,160
Always taking the piss out of...
out of me.
190
00:09:34,161 --> 00:09:35,760
Did you just say OK then?
191
00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:40,799
On one condition.
192
00:09:40,800 --> 00:09:43,519
That you convert,
come over to our side.
193
00:09:43,520 --> 00:09:46,519
You mean support Liverpool?
194
00:09:46,520 --> 00:09:49,679
I mean become a Catholic,
you knobhead.
195
00:09:49,680 --> 00:09:52,880
Right. Yeah, yeah.
196
00:10:04,840 --> 00:10:09,079
You've been named, Marty boy.
Armed robber at the Post Office.
197
00:10:09,080 --> 00:10:12,239
Cuddly little Marty
with his funny little ways.
198
00:10:12,240 --> 00:10:14,599
Wouldn't harm a fly, eh?
199
00:10:14,600 --> 00:10:16,000
F... f... fuck off.
200
00:10:16,001 --> 00:10:19,159
Terrify a gang of pensioners half to
death in a Post Office queue, yes,
201
00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:20,360
but wouldn't harm a fly.
202
00:10:20,361 --> 00:10:21,879
Fuck off, Shane.
203
00:10:21,880 --> 00:10:23,559
Come on, I'm fucking with you.
204
00:10:23,560 --> 00:10:26,759
You know what, I've been doing
a bit of research, mate.
205
00:10:26,760 --> 00:10:31,399
All you have to do is type in
'Arson' and 'Fuengerola'
206
00:10:31,400 --> 00:10:34,240
and it's fucking amazing
what pops up.
207
00:10:36,840 --> 00:10:39,879
You know, it's funny you never
mentioned that your wife and kids
208
00:10:39,880 --> 00:10:42,279
died in a house fire.
209
00:10:42,280 --> 00:10:45,559
Anyone'd think you had
something to hide, mate.
210
00:10:45,560 --> 00:10:48,599
Save your breath, Marty,
you're going to need it.
211
00:10:48,600 --> 00:10:50,119
I just called the filth.
212
00:10:50,120 --> 00:10:52,039
I've told them where you were.
213
00:10:53,640 --> 00:10:55,520
Run.
214
00:10:57,800 --> 00:10:58,840
Run!
215
00:11:15,080 --> 00:11:19,479
I've got a few more
cast-offs for Marty...
216
00:11:19,480 --> 00:11:23,879
I was dr... dragged
out of bed last night
217
00:11:23,880 --> 00:11:26,279
by an armed copper
218
00:11:26,280 --> 00:11:28,839
with his gun shoved half-way
up my fucking nostril!
219
00:11:28,840 --> 00:11:29,760
What, family stuff?
220
00:11:29,761 --> 00:11:31,839
They were asking me where Marty was.
221
00:11:31,840 --> 00:11:35,959
I said, "I don't know",
and spent the next...
222
00:11:35,960 --> 00:11:40,519
nine hours helping the police
with their enquiries.
223
00:11:40,520 --> 00:11:42,160
Someone must've grassed.
224
00:11:43,960 --> 00:11:45,160
That'd be me.
225
00:11:46,800 --> 00:11:49,799
And since when did you develop
a conscience?
226
00:11:49,800 --> 00:11:54,439
When I found out Marty's wife
and kids died in an arson attack.
227
00:11:54,440 --> 00:11:58,959
Spate of fires across Fuengerola.
Culprit never found.
228
00:11:58,960 --> 00:12:01,439
But you got a fucking nutter
out there
229
00:12:01,440 --> 00:12:06,239
with a history of that sort of stuff
and, well, one and one... is two.
230
00:12:06,240 --> 00:12:07,398
He killed them?
231
00:12:07,399 --> 00:12:08,880
Yep. Seems that way.
232
00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:12,159
I was thinking of a trip into town.
233
00:12:12,160 --> 00:12:15,519
Get you some new gear,
something to eat, eh?
234
00:12:15,520 --> 00:12:19,879
That ten grand you got for grassing
him up burning a hole in your pocket?
235
00:12:19,880 --> 00:12:21,560
It were anonymous.
236
00:12:22,880 --> 00:12:25,039
I'm booked solid all morning.
237
00:12:25,040 --> 00:12:26,919
Who wants a fuck at this hour?
238
00:12:26,920 --> 00:12:30,480
You... Once upon a time.
239
00:12:32,800 --> 00:12:36,679
The thing is, I don't know anything
about God or religion, Father.
240
00:12:36,680 --> 00:12:40,119
He's C of E. Is he allowed
to change sides, Father?
241
00:12:40,120 --> 00:12:43,599
We don't really think of it
as sides, now, do we, Mimi?
242
00:12:43,600 --> 00:12:46,559
It'll be a lot of hard work
on your part, Billy.
243
00:12:46,560 --> 00:12:49,879
You'll have to research the faith,
attend classes.
244
00:12:49,880 --> 00:12:52,198
He's not afraid
of a bit of hard work.
245
00:12:52,199 --> 00:12:53,640
It's for my daughter.
246
00:12:53,641 --> 00:12:54,959
And for you, too.
247
00:12:54,960 --> 00:12:56,920
Front of the queue
at the Pearly Gates
248
00:12:56,921 --> 00:12:59,919
if you're a Catholic, eh, Father?
249
00:12:59,920 --> 00:13:02,839
We'll keep it informal
for the time being.
250
00:13:02,840 --> 00:13:03,878
Yeah.
251
00:13:03,879 --> 00:13:06,280
Look forward to getting to know you
as well as the rest of the family.
252
00:13:06,281 --> 00:13:09,079
Lovely seeing you, Father.
253
00:13:09,080 --> 00:13:09,840
And you, Mimi.
254
00:13:09,841 --> 00:13:11,279
Take care.
255
00:13:11,280 --> 00:13:12,079
I will.
256
00:13:12,080 --> 00:13:13,679
See ya.
257
00:13:13,680 --> 00:13:15,159
Micky. Father.
258
00:13:15,160 --> 00:13:17,560
Bye now!
259
00:13:19,680 --> 00:13:21,718
What's he doing here?
Has someone died?
260
00:13:21,719 --> 00:13:23,120
Billy's going to be a Catholic.
261
00:13:23,121 --> 00:13:25,199
What the fuck for? It's shit!
262
00:13:25,200 --> 00:13:28,679
Thou shall not do this,
that and the other. And the guilt.
263
00:13:28,680 --> 00:13:31,479
Takes you about a week
to get over spilling your seed.
264
00:13:31,480 --> 00:13:33,999
Stay Proddy, man, much more fun.
265
00:13:34,000 --> 00:13:35,078
I'm doing it for Cilla.
266
00:13:35,079 --> 00:13:36,598
You're doing it to get in
with me mam.
267
00:13:36,599 --> 00:13:38,398
It's for my daughter, your sister.
268
00:13:38,399 --> 00:13:39,520
She won't thank you.
269
00:13:39,521 --> 00:13:42,079
If I was going to change,
I'd go Muslim.
270
00:13:42,080 --> 00:13:44,799
Food's better and all you've
got to do is grow a beard.
271
00:13:44,800 --> 00:13:46,878
You won't even pass the exams,
you, anyway.
272
00:13:46,879 --> 00:13:48,118
Why's that, then?
273
00:13:48,119 --> 00:13:49,440
Cos you're a thick cunt.
274
00:13:56,280 --> 00:13:57,759
Mam!
275
00:13:57,760 --> 00:13:59,000
Mam!
276
00:13:59,001 --> 00:14:01,479
You, living room, now!
277
00:14:01,480 --> 00:14:03,599
It wasn't me!
278
00:14:03,600 --> 00:14:05,720
Don't have me saying it twice!
279
00:14:13,040 --> 00:14:15,319
No matter how hard I try,
280
00:14:15,320 --> 00:14:18,279
your lads are just going to keep
throwing it back in my face.
281
00:14:18,280 --> 00:14:19,480
Nothing I do'll ever be
good enough for them.
282
00:14:19,481 --> 00:14:24,079
It's a lot for them to take on,
you being here. Going to take time.
283
00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:27,359
You can handle this.
You're a tough lad.
284
00:14:27,360 --> 00:14:30,679
Made of sterner stuff
than they know. Aren't you?
285
00:14:30,680 --> 00:14:31,920
Yeah.
286
00:14:31,921 --> 00:14:34,920
Now, these spuds aren't going to
peel themselves, are they?
287
00:14:45,600 --> 00:14:47,319
Shane's here.
288
00:14:47,320 --> 00:14:49,319
I told you. Tell him I'm occupied.
289
00:14:49,320 --> 00:14:51,559
I did but he said he'd wait.
290
00:14:51,560 --> 00:14:53,440
Look, if you and him's
got a problem, sort it!
291
00:14:53,441 --> 00:14:55,521
Cos punters don't like
looking at a face like
292
00:14:55,522 --> 00:14:57,600
a smacked arse.
They can get that at home.
293
00:14:58,720 --> 00:15:03,920
Give me a minute. Tell him I'm just
tidying, then send him up.
294
00:15:17,240 --> 00:15:20,719
The only time I see anything floral
is weddings, funerals
295
00:15:20,720 --> 00:15:23,759
and when you're trying to keep me
sweet after a fuck-up.
296
00:15:23,760 --> 00:15:24,920
By way of an apology?
297
00:15:24,921 --> 00:15:25,999
A fuck-up.
298
00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:29,399
Yeah. A monumental fuck-up.
299
00:15:29,400 --> 00:15:33,999
You know, I've been that busy,
my mind's been preoccupied
300
00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:36,360
with a million and one
different things,
301
00:15:36,361 --> 00:15:40,240
and I... I've neglected
the one thing that I value most.
302
00:15:41,400 --> 00:15:43,639
I said thing, I don't...
303
00:15:43,640 --> 00:15:45,159
I mean you.
304
00:15:45,160 --> 00:15:46,560
And I'm sorry.
305
00:15:51,520 --> 00:15:54,519
I know you've been
distracted as well.
306
00:15:54,520 --> 00:15:57,599
Hang on a minute...
I don't blame you.
307
00:15:57,600 --> 00:15:59,120
I forced you away.
308
00:16:05,960 --> 00:16:09,880
It takes two to tango... badly.
309
00:16:11,520 --> 00:16:13,199
We are good, us, y'know.
310
00:16:13,200 --> 00:16:14,759
We used to be.
311
00:16:14,760 --> 00:16:15,560
We still are.
312
00:16:19,480 --> 00:16:21,160
Let's make a bit of time.
313
00:16:22,520 --> 00:16:23,920
Get away from here.
314
00:16:25,560 --> 00:16:27,640
I want to be your husband again.
315
00:16:28,920 --> 00:16:30,759
I love you, Kelly Maguire.
316
00:16:30,760 --> 00:16:32,199
Yeah?
317
00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:34,199
Yeah.
318
00:16:34,200 --> 00:16:36,399
Yeah?
319
00:16:36,400 --> 00:16:37,800
Yes.
320
00:16:41,160 --> 00:16:42,599
Yeah?
321
00:16:42,600 --> 00:16:44,640
Yes!
322
00:16:54,840 --> 00:16:58,319
Yeah! Let's go!
323
00:16:58,320 --> 00:17:00,239
He's lovely, isn't he?
324
00:17:00,240 --> 00:17:03,919
Wouldn't think that if you had to
spend as long as me looking at him.
325
00:17:03,920 --> 00:17:06,639
I meant Father Craig.
So did I.
326
00:17:06,640 --> 00:17:09,279
Ever since Billy
started his conversion classes,
327
00:17:09,280 --> 00:17:12,039
we can't get rid of him.
328
00:17:49,760 --> 00:17:53,079
Well, he can convert me any time.
329
00:17:53,080 --> 00:17:54,839
Oi! I heard that.
330
00:17:54,840 --> 00:17:55,880
What?
331
00:17:55,881 --> 00:17:59,319
Personal Jesus
332
00:17:59,320 --> 00:18:01,039
What's got you smiling?
333
00:18:01,040 --> 00:18:02,959
Wouldn't you like to know!
334
00:18:02,960 --> 00:18:05,680
The look of love, little twinkle
in the eye I can detect?
335
00:18:08,160 --> 00:18:10,439
Sorted your differences, then?
336
00:18:10,440 --> 00:18:15,280
Never heard it called that before
but... we talked.
337
00:18:17,280 --> 00:18:18,999
Toilets.
338
00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:21,240
Now!
339
00:18:25,080 --> 00:18:27,319
Look, I'm tired, that's all this is.
340
00:18:27,320 --> 00:18:29,480
I'm relieved your marriage
is back on track.
341
00:18:29,481 --> 00:18:31,279
I appreciate the concern...
342
00:18:31,280 --> 00:18:33,839
but we've never been close
and I'm not the sister type.
343
00:18:33,840 --> 00:18:35,720
I just wish I'd had
someone to talk to when
344
00:18:35,721 --> 00:18:37,599
me and Jamie were
fucking ourselves over.
345
00:18:37,600 --> 00:18:40,799
We've had a rough few months. Like I
said, we've talked and we're OK.
346
00:18:40,800 --> 00:18:44,119
Good, I'm glad. Cos it'd be all too
easy to get hung up on someone
347
00:18:44,120 --> 00:18:46,639
who might let you down, wouldn't it?
348
00:18:46,640 --> 00:18:50,639
You know, someone who might offer
a bit of excitement short-term...
349
00:18:50,640 --> 00:18:52,799
But long-term?
350
00:18:52,800 --> 00:18:56,239
You wouldn't back him if he was a
horse at the National, would you?
351
00:18:56,240 --> 00:18:58,319
No, I don't think I would.
352
00:18:58,961 --> 00:19:00,520
Use the men's!
353
00:19:03,320 --> 00:19:07,519
Sometimes we can get distracted.
Things can seem a bit mundane.
354
00:19:07,520 --> 00:19:11,039
We think the grass is always greener
but before long we've...
355
00:19:11,040 --> 00:19:12,960
I lost everything.
356
00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:16,159
This isn't a bollocking, Kel.
357
00:19:16,160 --> 00:19:20,119
I just don't want you
to make the same mistake I did.
358
00:19:20,120 --> 00:19:20,798
Joe?
359
00:19:21,839 --> 00:19:23,278
There's no bog roll.
360
00:19:23,279 --> 00:19:24,360
Well, drip dry.
361
00:19:24,361 --> 00:19:28,159
Without going into detail, that
approach won't have much effect.
362
00:19:28,160 --> 00:19:29,480
Fine.
363
00:19:34,040 --> 00:19:38,080
You can talk to me, you know,
when it comes to stuff like this.
364
00:19:39,280 --> 00:19:40,879
You can trust me.
365
00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:56,719
Jamie, usual, double and whatever
those boring bastards are having.
366
00:19:56,720 --> 00:19:59,599
With a cyanide-fucking-chaser
for each of them.
367
00:19:59,600 --> 00:20:01,439
You not enjoying it?
368
00:20:01,440 --> 00:20:04,199
He's everywhere I turn.
Never shuts the fuck up!
369
00:20:04,200 --> 00:20:07,519
God this, God that, God the other.
370
00:20:07,520 --> 00:20:09,998
He's got a bleeding
parable for everything.
371
00:20:09,999 --> 00:20:12,400
Can't even wipe your arse
without him turning it
372
00:20:12,401 --> 00:20:15,159
into some kind of a lesson.
373
00:20:15,160 --> 00:20:17,600
Hello, Father Craig!
374
00:20:20,560 --> 00:20:23,359
Hiya, Father. Going already?
375
00:20:23,360 --> 00:20:26,199
Service in the morning, Mimi.
Billy says you'll be there.
376
00:20:26,200 --> 00:20:27,840
Not going to miss out, am I?
377
00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:35,998
Stop this now.
378
00:20:35,999 --> 00:20:36,680
Gone!
379
00:20:36,681 --> 00:20:38,680
I-I just wanted to impress you.
380
00:20:38,681 --> 00:20:43,320
Get rid of that boring bastard,
then I'll be impressed.
381
00:20:55,600 --> 00:20:59,079
She obviously wants
something extreme.
382
00:20:59,080 --> 00:21:01,000
Y'know,
a declaration of your intentions.
383
00:21:01,001 --> 00:21:03,159
Reckon?
384
00:21:03,160 --> 00:21:06,599
Think big, Billy. It's obviously the
way to her heart. If not her heart,
385
00:21:06,600 --> 00:21:09,679
might get you into her knickers.
386
00:21:09,680 --> 00:21:12,799
What d'you think she'd really,
really like?
387
00:21:12,800 --> 00:21:16,960
What d'you reckon'd make her happy?
Her and the boys?
388
00:21:20,200 --> 00:21:22,319
What's going on?
389
00:21:22,320 --> 00:21:24,640
Well, I just want you to be happy,
that's all.
390
00:21:24,641 --> 00:21:26,159
So...
391
00:21:26,160 --> 00:21:28,480
I did something
that'd make you happy.
392
00:21:39,880 --> 00:21:42,479
So you robbed my car?
393
00:21:42,480 --> 00:21:43,799
Borrowed.
394
00:21:43,800 --> 00:21:44,878
Then what the fuck did you give him?
395
00:21:44,879 --> 00:21:47,320
Just a load of ale.
Bottle of whisky.
396
00:21:47,321 --> 00:21:51,119
And? Some pills I found in Micky's
sock drawer.
397
00:21:51,120 --> 00:21:51,560
The blue ones?
398
00:21:51,561 --> 00:21:52,919
Orange?
399
00:21:52,920 --> 00:21:54,399
Not the yellow ones.
400
00:21:54,400 --> 00:21:57,919
One of them'd floor all the Happy
Mondays! How many d'you slip him?
401
00:21:57,920 --> 00:21:59,279
Four.
402
00:21:59,280 --> 00:22:01,159
Well no wonder he's dead!
403
00:22:01,160 --> 00:22:04,599
They're meant for horses
of a nervous disposition!
404
00:22:04,600 --> 00:22:07,038
What in the name of God
did you think you were doing?
405
00:22:07,039 --> 00:22:09,440
You said you'd be impressed
if I got rid of him!
406
00:22:09,441 --> 00:22:12,439
I didn't mean kill him,
you thick twat!
407
00:22:12,440 --> 00:22:15,639
I meant out of my line of vision
for a split second!
408
00:22:15,640 --> 00:22:18,319
Out of my range of hearing,
not bleeding dead!
409
00:22:18,320 --> 00:22:20,280
So what we going to do?
410
00:22:21,360 --> 00:22:24,799
Pray for forgiveness.
He's killed a Priest.
411
00:22:24,800 --> 00:22:28,919
Well, let him fucking pray then.
It's nowt to do with us.
412
00:22:28,920 --> 00:22:31,320
I'm going to hell.
And I'm not even Catholic!
413
00:22:31,321 --> 00:22:34,279
And you think God's going
to turn a blind eye to the fact
414
00:22:34,280 --> 00:22:39,159
that we're sitting round discussing
how to get shot of the body!?
415
00:22:39,160 --> 00:22:41,200
Er, excuse me, I
just came up with a
416
00:22:41,201 --> 00:22:43,239
solution that went down
like a lead balloon.
417
00:22:43,240 --> 00:22:47,319
The solution being that we take him
to your mate's sausage factory?!
418
00:22:47,320 --> 00:22:48,959
You've never objected before.
419
00:22:48,960 --> 00:22:52,720
I've never turned a priest
into a sausage before!
420
00:22:54,200 --> 00:22:56,199
We'll be excommunicated.
421
00:22:56,200 --> 00:22:59,399
We're already excommunicated.
422
00:22:59,400 --> 00:23:02,279
Call your mate.
Make the arrangements.
423
00:23:02,280 --> 00:23:04,239
Hang on...
424
00:23:04,240 --> 00:23:06,999
You're not actually going
to go through with this?
425
00:23:07,000 --> 00:23:09,239
Have you got a better solution?
426
00:23:09,240 --> 00:23:13,880
Remarkable. Just when I thought
you'd never be able to shock me...
427
00:23:15,280 --> 00:23:20,199
OK, if we're going ahead with this,
you need to make yourself scarce.
428
00:23:20,200 --> 00:23:24,399
No way! He got us into this shit,
he's going to help get us out!
429
00:23:24,400 --> 00:23:26,540
They'll get a fair few
sausages out of him,
430
00:23:26,541 --> 00:23:28,679
though, won't they?
He was a big lad, wasn't he?
431
00:23:28,680 --> 00:23:30,040
Fucking arse!
432
00:23:52,640 --> 00:23:53,680
Kelly!
433
00:23:53,681 --> 00:23:56,160
What d'you want?
434
00:23:58,480 --> 00:24:00,839
Played me for a fool, didn't you?
435
00:24:00,840 --> 00:24:02,519
No.
436
00:24:02,520 --> 00:24:06,719
Not that I blame you. I am a fucking
idiot... falling for you... your lies.
437
00:24:06,720 --> 00:24:09,279
If you think I lied,
why did you come?
438
00:24:09,280 --> 00:24:14,119
To tell you to get out my life,
to keep on running.
439
00:24:14,120 --> 00:24:16,400
Fuck off so far away from me
and never come back!
440
00:24:16,401 --> 00:24:19,039
Sue left me.
441
00:24:19,040 --> 00:24:21,799
She walked out and took the kids.
442
00:24:21,800 --> 00:24:24,599
She wanted stuff I couldn't give her
and...
443
00:24:24,600 --> 00:24:26,199
She found someone who could.
444
00:24:26,200 --> 00:24:28,759
And I begged her...
445
00:24:28,760 --> 00:24:32,000
I begged her to come back,
but she said, "To what?"
446
00:24:33,760 --> 00:24:34,960
To what.
447
00:24:36,280 --> 00:24:38,519
I was on my own.
448
00:24:38,520 --> 00:24:41,239
And I was getting pissed most nights
cos...
449
00:24:41,240 --> 00:24:45,840
And I lost my job cos I couldn't
get out of bed for the hangovers.
450
00:24:47,560 --> 00:24:50,199
I ended up on the street.
451
00:24:50,200 --> 00:24:53,319
And I was angry with myself,
I was so angry.
452
00:24:53,320 --> 00:24:57,040
I'd lost my wife, my kids...
My job, my flat.
453
00:24:58,640 --> 00:25:00,240
So you set fire to them?
454
00:25:06,440 --> 00:25:10,160
Took a while,
but here he is at last, eh?
455
00:25:11,320 --> 00:25:13,879
Will the real Marty Fisher
please stand up.
456
00:25:13,880 --> 00:25:16,559
Look...
The lying, murdering Marty Fisher.
457
00:25:16,560 --> 00:25:17,480
No, no, I-I-I...
458
00:25:17,481 --> 00:25:18,999
Save it.
459
00:25:19,000 --> 00:25:21,200
I thought you were different.
460
00:25:25,240 --> 00:25:27,639
Fucking cliche alert!
461
00:25:27,640 --> 00:25:30,719
I hope they find you, Marty.
462
00:25:30,720 --> 00:25:34,680
I hope the filth drag you in
and I hope you go down for life.
463
00:25:36,040 --> 00:25:37,720
Sue didn't deserve that.
464
00:25:39,320 --> 00:25:41,600
And your kids...
465
00:25:43,160 --> 00:25:44,600
K-K-Kelly...
466
00:25:44,601 --> 00:25:46,199
Fuck off.
467
00:25:46,200 --> 00:25:47,600
I love you!
468
00:25:50,400 --> 00:25:52,560
And I love Shane.
469
00:26:13,400 --> 00:26:14,440
Shit!
470
00:26:14,441 --> 00:26:16,440
They're still looking for Marty.
471
00:26:16,441 --> 00:26:19,879
Right, Father Craig's pissed
after an all-night wake.
472
00:26:19,880 --> 00:26:22,479
We're taking him back to church.
Everyone stay calm.
473
00:26:22,480 --> 00:26:23,838
Can I ask where you're going, lads?
474
00:26:23,839 --> 00:26:26,240
Just bringing a mate home.
Bit worse for wear.
475
00:26:26,241 --> 00:26:29,399
Hope you sober up for Sunday,
Father! Me daughter's christening.
476
00:26:29,400 --> 00:26:31,199
He's going to puke!
477
00:26:31,200 --> 00:26:32,920
Do you want to get out, Father?
478
00:26:32,921 --> 00:26:34,519
No! He's just rat-arsed.
479
00:26:34,520 --> 00:26:35,878
Don't tell the Pope
480
00:26:35,879 --> 00:26:37,880
D'you want to open the boot
for us, please?
481
00:26:39,200 --> 00:26:39,999
Shh!
482
00:26:40,000 --> 00:26:42,039
I can't...
483
00:26:42,040 --> 00:26:43,560
Shut the fuck up!
484
00:26:46,120 --> 00:26:46,998
Yeah, that's great, mate.
485
00:26:46,999 --> 00:26:48,278
Cheers.
486
00:26:48,279 --> 00:26:50,000
Your other mate looks bad, too.
487
00:26:50,001 --> 00:26:53,879
He can't handle his booze. Think it
was the punch what finished him off!
488
00:26:53,880 --> 00:26:55,960
That'll teach him. Cheers, lads.
489
00:26:59,960 --> 00:27:01,840
See you, Father!
490
00:27:05,240 --> 00:27:06,319
Vodka.
491
00:27:06,320 --> 00:27:07,319
Double.
492
00:27:07,320 --> 00:27:08,798
And one for yourself, Mimi.
493
00:27:08,799 --> 00:27:11,198
Fuck knows you could do with one.
What you having?
494
00:27:11,199 --> 00:27:12,200
Bit early for me.
495
00:27:16,960 --> 00:27:20,879
To the useless, lying,
two-faced, manipulative,
496
00:27:20,880 --> 00:27:23,919
deceitful gang of total
bastardry that is men!
497
00:27:23,920 --> 00:27:26,199
Fuck knows I'll drink to that.
498
00:27:26,200 --> 00:27:29,519
Unless it's our Shane
you're talking about?
499
00:27:29,520 --> 00:27:32,880
A punter.
Finally revealed his true colours.
500
00:27:35,920 --> 00:27:37,160
Same again please, Mimi.
501
00:27:37,161 --> 00:27:40,679
You're working in ten minutes.
The barbershop quartet's in.
502
00:27:40,680 --> 00:27:43,118
You fuck 'em. Turn the light off,
they'd never know the difference.
503
00:27:43,119 --> 00:27:44,320
Course they would!
504
00:27:44,321 --> 00:27:47,879
This is the male of the species
we're talking about, brains in cocks.
505
00:27:47,880 --> 00:27:50,439
And there's not much room in there
for a brain.
506
00:27:50,440 --> 00:27:53,959
Fuck 'em yourself, or better still,
tell 'em to go fuck themselves.
507
00:27:53,960 --> 00:27:56,839
You've had two verbal warnings,
Kelly.
508
00:27:56,840 --> 00:27:57,960
Third written.
509
00:27:57,961 --> 00:28:00,039
What - you're going to dismiss me?
510
00:28:00,040 --> 00:28:04,559
Then I take you to a tribunal and...
No, that's right I can't!
511
00:28:04,560 --> 00:28:06,799
On account of your business
being illegal
512
00:28:06,800 --> 00:28:09,039
and you'd end up in nick
for being a madam!
513
00:28:09,040 --> 00:28:10,880
Madame!
514
00:28:14,480 --> 00:28:16,359
All you need do sometimes,
515
00:28:16,360 --> 00:28:19,479
is take a step back
to get a good perspective, isn't it?
516
00:28:19,480 --> 00:28:21,159
Where's all this coming from?
517
00:28:21,160 --> 00:28:23,959
From me being let down
once too often. That's where from.
518
00:28:23,960 --> 00:28:25,079
Shane?
519
00:28:25,080 --> 00:28:26,120
No, we're good.
520
00:28:27,200 --> 00:28:28,160
Yeah?
521
00:28:29,520 --> 00:28:30,480
Yeah.
522
00:28:50,000 --> 00:28:51,120
Y'all right, kidda?
523
00:28:52,240 --> 00:28:53,278
All right, mate?
524
00:28:53,279 --> 00:28:53,918
Not bad, mate?
525
00:28:53,919 --> 00:28:54,920
Yeah, good-good.
526
00:28:56,040 --> 00:28:57,120
Nice one.
527
00:29:00,920 --> 00:29:02,120
All right, boys.
528
00:29:02,121 --> 00:29:04,159
All right, mate.
529
00:29:04,160 --> 00:29:06,239
Right, we need to get him in here,
yeah?
530
00:29:06,240 --> 00:29:08,319
And then get him
to the processing room.
531
00:29:08,320 --> 00:29:10,919
There'll be a tea break
in ten minutes. It'll be empty.
532
00:29:10,920 --> 00:29:11,960
I'll need a hand stripping him.
533
00:29:11,961 --> 00:29:13,079
I'll do it.
534
00:29:13,080 --> 00:29:15,600
You want to bring him over here,
Mickey?
535
00:29:24,480 --> 00:29:25,480
Oof!
536
00:29:32,480 --> 00:29:33,720
Shit!
537
00:29:42,760 --> 00:29:47,040
Mam... you need to be here,
and quick.
538
00:30:05,960 --> 00:30:08,120
You said you'd checked he was dead!
539
00:30:09,400 --> 00:30:10,638
I did!
540
00:30:10,639 --> 00:30:12,800
Well, you obviously
didn't check properly!
541
00:30:31,880 --> 00:30:34,839
It's a miracle.
I'm telling you, it's a miracle!
542
00:30:34,840 --> 00:30:36,520
Go! Leave the talking to me.
543
00:30:43,360 --> 00:30:46,919
And I prayed and prayed to God
544
00:30:46,920 --> 00:30:50,560
to find a solution and he did.
545
00:30:52,320 --> 00:30:53,560
You OK, Father?
546
00:30:55,040 --> 00:30:57,039
I, er...
547
00:30:57,040 --> 00:30:58,400
I don't know.
548
00:30:59,920 --> 00:31:02,599
I'm sorry, Mimi,
I'm not feeling 100%.
549
00:31:02,600 --> 00:31:04,760
Must've nodded off.
550
00:31:08,920 --> 00:31:11,480
Had the weirdest dream.
551
00:31:13,080 --> 00:31:16,200
And the Lord said to me...
552
00:31:20,080 --> 00:31:23,359
Next time you want to impress me,
try a bunch of roses,
553
00:31:23,360 --> 00:31:24,840
a box of chocolates.
554
00:31:24,841 --> 00:31:27,039
We were lucky this time, Billy.
555
00:31:27,040 --> 00:31:28,438
Make sure there isn't a next time.
556
00:31:28,439 --> 00:31:30,838
You said he was a problem.
Thought you wanted rid.
557
00:31:30,839 --> 00:31:32,360
Why'd she go to you if she did?
558
00:31:32,361 --> 00:31:34,679
Cos... cos I'm the father
of her child.
559
00:31:34,680 --> 00:31:35,880
That was a biological accident.
560
00:31:35,881 --> 00:31:37,839
A happy one!
561
00:31:37,840 --> 00:31:39,720
Yeah, but an accident
none the less, Mum.
562
00:31:39,721 --> 00:31:41,359
Get this straight, Billy.
563
00:31:41,360 --> 00:31:44,199
If there's a problem in this family
that needs solving,
564
00:31:44,200 --> 00:31:46,559
this family will solve it,
you got that?
565
00:31:46,560 --> 00:31:48,520
We don't need you. Don't want you.
566
00:31:49,720 --> 00:31:51,720
By the way, you've pissed yourself.
567
00:32:01,520 --> 00:32:03,599
That hit the spot.
568
00:32:03,600 --> 00:32:05,320
It was lovely, that.
569
00:32:05,321 --> 00:32:06,759
Thought you'd like it.
570
00:32:06,760 --> 00:32:08,160
Liked it? I loved it.
571
00:32:08,161 --> 00:32:11,039
You don't have to overdo it, Shane.
572
00:32:11,040 --> 00:32:12,880
No, it was nice that!
573
00:32:12,881 --> 00:32:14,479
It was chips, bacon and egg.
574
00:32:14,480 --> 00:32:16,919
It was great!
575
00:32:16,920 --> 00:32:18,480
I'll do washing up.
576
00:32:18,481 --> 00:32:19,639
No.
577
00:32:19,640 --> 00:32:21,920
Come on, I said...
I know, and I said I'll do it!
578
00:32:23,280 --> 00:32:24,520
Sorry.
579
00:32:24,521 --> 00:32:25,719
No, it's me.
580
00:32:25,720 --> 00:32:27,719
No, I'm probably trying a bit...
581
00:32:27,720 --> 00:32:28,840
Don't. It's not you.
582
00:32:28,841 --> 00:32:30,279
This.
583
00:32:30,280 --> 00:32:31,959
It's not you. It's me, Shane.
584
00:32:31,960 --> 00:32:33,680
Just, em...
585
00:32:36,760 --> 00:32:37,920
it's just me.
586
00:32:40,520 --> 00:32:43,720
That mean I can go watch the footy
that I recorded?
587
00:32:48,760 --> 00:32:51,120
I love you, Kelly Maguire.
588
00:32:55,040 --> 00:32:56,880
Yeah, you said.
589
00:33:03,240 --> 00:33:05,720
Thank you, Carmel.
590
00:33:22,520 --> 00:33:24,800
Just thought we'd give you this,
Father.
591
00:33:24,801 --> 00:33:27,399
Our contribution
to the new roof for the vestry.
592
00:33:27,400 --> 00:33:30,159
That's very kind. Thank you.
593
00:33:30,160 --> 00:33:31,800
So, ten minutes, yeah?
594
00:33:31,801 --> 00:33:33,759
For?
595
00:33:33,760 --> 00:33:35,959
Nice one.
596
00:33:35,960 --> 00:33:37,400
Making out he's forgot.
597
00:33:37,401 --> 00:33:39,119
You!
598
00:33:39,120 --> 00:33:40,678
Cilla's christening.
599
00:33:40,679 --> 00:33:42,640
Two o'clock.
600
00:33:42,641 --> 00:33:44,199
You did say two?
601
00:33:44,200 --> 00:33:49,119
Course I didn't forget,
how could I forget a thing like that.
602
00:33:49,120 --> 00:33:51,360
And Billy is proper excited, yeah.
603
00:33:52,720 --> 00:33:55,519
About getting christened,
the same time as his daughter!
604
00:33:55,520 --> 00:33:57,879
Very kind of you to fast-track him.
605
00:33:57,880 --> 00:33:59,599
He's welling up.
606
00:33:59,600 --> 00:34:01,800
You know, he's so proud.
607
00:34:03,360 --> 00:34:03,838
I'm going myself.
608
00:34:03,839 --> 00:34:04,920
I'll just prepare.
609
00:34:09,120 --> 00:34:10,720
I'm sorry.
610
00:34:25,840 --> 00:34:27,320
What the fuck's going on?!
611
00:34:27,321 --> 00:34:28,439
Baptism.
612
00:34:28,440 --> 00:34:30,839
Cilla's. And you're godparents.
613
00:34:30,840 --> 00:34:33,039
Lovely.
614
00:34:33,040 --> 00:34:33,358
When?
615
00:34:33,359 --> 00:34:34,560
Now.
616
00:34:34,561 --> 00:34:35,599
Nice one.
617
00:34:35,600 --> 00:34:38,319
If I snuff it, soft arse'd
get custody of Cilla.
618
00:34:38,320 --> 00:34:41,239
That's not going to happen.
619
00:34:41,240 --> 00:34:43,000
Look at him.
620
00:34:43,001 --> 00:34:44,599
He's a lovely lad,
621
00:34:44,600 --> 00:34:47,559
but a few bricks short
of a full hod, know what I mean?
622
00:34:47,560 --> 00:34:49,719
Mimi, I don't actually believe in...
623
00:34:49,720 --> 00:34:53,319
We've heard it all before, Kelly.
You don't believe in God, we know.
624
00:34:53,320 --> 00:34:56,519
Half the congregation'll
be in the same boat.
625
00:34:56,520 --> 00:34:59,439
I just want you to nod
when you're supposed to,
626
00:34:59,440 --> 00:35:01,999
light a candle, renounce the devil,
627
00:35:02,000 --> 00:35:04,919
then get back to the pub
and get pissed with the rest of us.
628
00:35:04,920 --> 00:35:06,160
Got that?
629
00:35:06,161 --> 00:35:07,800
Come on, soft lad.
630
00:35:09,320 --> 00:35:11,039
Did that just happen?
631
00:35:11,040 --> 00:35:12,559
Who does she think she is?
632
00:35:12,560 --> 00:35:14,880
Geez. Come on, Kel,
she's always like that.
633
00:35:14,881 --> 00:35:16,359
Well, she can fuck off!
634
00:35:16,360 --> 00:35:18,439
You know what?
You're always like that.
635
00:35:18,440 --> 00:35:21,359
And you're always like that.
Sitting on the fucking fence.
636
00:35:21,360 --> 00:35:24,439
What's it going to take for you
to back me up, mummy's boy?
637
00:35:27,160 --> 00:35:29,760
You knew what you were getting into
when you took me on.
638
00:35:40,520 --> 00:35:42,599
Hang on, wait for me!
639
00:36:05,160 --> 00:36:07,519
Barbara Castle? In her day.
640
00:36:07,520 --> 00:36:10,399
Edwina Currie? Posh Scouser.
641
00:36:10,400 --> 00:36:12,519
A contradiction in terms.
642
00:36:12,520 --> 00:36:15,599
See, I'd have slotted
Thatcher one in her heyday.
643
00:36:15,600 --> 00:36:18,359
From behind, obviously.
Show her who's boss.
644
00:36:18,360 --> 00:36:19,719
"Ooh, not for turning?"
645
00:36:19,720 --> 00:36:22,239
Well, you fucking will be
after this, Maggie.
646
00:36:22,240 --> 00:36:25,799
One up the mineshaft
in memory of Scargill.
647
00:36:25,800 --> 00:36:27,199
But Widdecombe?
648
00:36:27,200 --> 00:36:31,079
Wouldn't really be an angle
that would satisfy, would there?
649
00:36:31,080 --> 00:36:34,479
It's not as if you could half
close your eyes, so they're all fuzzy
650
00:36:34,480 --> 00:36:37,359
and convince yourself
it's somebody else.
651
00:36:37,360 --> 00:36:40,879
Fucking Churchill would be
a more attractive proposition.
652
00:36:40,880 --> 00:36:43,119
Miliband's got a pretty face.
653
00:36:43,120 --> 00:36:47,399
I think your mistake was going
for someone with such a low profile.
654
00:36:47,400 --> 00:36:48,680
What do you mean?
655
00:36:48,681 --> 00:36:52,279
A priest? If you want to impress
the Maguires, aim high.
656
00:36:52,280 --> 00:36:56,519
Take out some gangster
and you'd be quids in. Telling you.
657
00:36:56,520 --> 00:36:59,439
You want to reach puberty,
keep your trap shut.
658
00:36:59,440 --> 00:37:00,560
Bin. Now.
659
00:37:05,600 --> 00:37:08,759
If I'd wanted a gangster,
I wouldn't have gotten rid of Paddy.
660
00:37:08,760 --> 00:37:11,999
I like you because you're you, OK?
661
00:37:12,000 --> 00:37:13,800
Just be you.
662
00:37:15,440 --> 00:37:16,920
A toast!
663
00:37:19,320 --> 00:37:23,519
To Cilla Maureen Tutton-Maguire.
Welcome to the family.
664
00:37:23,520 --> 00:37:27,559
Welcome to the family!
665
00:37:27,560 --> 00:37:30,079
And to Billy Tutton.
Welcome to the family.
666
00:37:30,080 --> 00:37:31,960
Welcome to the family!
667
00:37:33,040 --> 00:37:34,560
You're one of us, now.
668
00:37:37,240 --> 00:37:40,360
She means Catholic, by the way.
Not one of them.
669
00:37:42,720 --> 00:37:44,320
For fuck's sake!
670
00:37:56,440 --> 00:37:58,479
What the fuck's done that?
671
00:37:58,480 --> 00:37:59,120
Rats.
672
00:37:59,121 --> 00:38:00,800
Big fucking rat!
673
00:38:25,400 --> 00:38:27,999
Excuse I for queue jumping.
I've got a turtle's head.
674
00:38:28,000 --> 00:38:29,198
They're all occupied and I'm next.
675
00:38:29,199 --> 00:38:30,638
I'm touching cloth!
676
00:38:30,639 --> 00:38:31,640
Gents!
677
00:38:35,200 --> 00:38:36,479
I'm...
678
00:38:36,480 --> 00:38:37,999
Sorry?
679
00:38:38,000 --> 00:38:41,679
Going to do the decent thing?
Hand yourself in?
680
00:38:41,680 --> 00:38:45,759
Admit you're a fucking scumbag
for killing your wife and kids?
681
00:38:45,760 --> 00:38:47,879
A pathological liar
682
00:38:47,880 --> 00:38:50,399
for making me believe
we had some kind of future?
683
00:38:50,400 --> 00:38:51,800
Wasn't supposed to happen this way.
684
00:38:51,801 --> 00:38:53,919
Too right!
685
00:38:53,920 --> 00:38:56,039
I wasn't supposed
to fall for the nutter
686
00:38:56,040 --> 00:38:59,839
with fuck all to offer but a
criminal record and an empty wallet.
687
00:38:59,840 --> 00:39:04,279
I wanted the white charger and
the shining armour and I get you!
688
00:39:04,280 --> 00:39:07,640
Fucking you!
689
00:39:09,080 --> 00:39:10,798
Lights will be back on any minute.
690
00:39:10,799 --> 00:39:11,800
Great.
691
00:39:18,480 --> 00:39:21,919
Making sure no-one's fallen over,
broken their neck.
692
00:39:21,920 --> 00:39:23,760
Home soon, eh?
693
00:39:29,320 --> 00:39:33,119
You never asked. That's what
fucking hurt. After what we'd said.
694
00:39:33,120 --> 00:39:35,719
What you said you felt.
You never asked.
695
00:39:35,720 --> 00:39:36,839
Never!
696
00:39:36,840 --> 00:39:38,278
What did I never ask, eh?
697
00:39:38,279 --> 00:39:39,040
You fucking lunatic!
698
00:39:39,041 --> 00:39:42,359
I wanted to tell you,
but I wanted you to know me first.
699
00:39:42,360 --> 00:39:46,559
You wanted me to fall for you first!
700
00:39:46,560 --> 00:39:50,799
I didn't do it.
If you need me to, I can prove it.
701
00:39:50,800 --> 00:39:52,720
I didn't do it, Kel.
702
00:39:53,960 --> 00:39:55,200
I couldn't...
703
00:39:57,240 --> 00:39:59,360
But even you thought I could.
704
00:40:00,720 --> 00:40:02,360
Even you.
705
00:40:08,320 --> 00:40:09,960
I'll be at the bus stop.
706
00:40:11,640 --> 00:40:14,519
Corner of Muirfield Avenue
707
00:40:14,520 --> 00:40:17,560
and Lytton Street - nine o'clock.
708
00:40:19,080 --> 00:40:20,879
I want to start again.
709
00:40:20,880 --> 00:40:22,280
New life...
710
00:40:24,200 --> 00:40:26,199
with someone I love.
711
00:40:26,200 --> 00:40:31,639
Someone I never thought
I'd have the luck to come across.
712
00:40:31,640 --> 00:40:33,399
It's a lot to think about, I know,
713
00:40:33,400 --> 00:40:36,840
and I would've done it sooner if
all this hadn't have happened, but...
714
00:40:39,640 --> 00:40:41,599
I love you
715
00:40:41,600 --> 00:40:43,960
and I want you with me.
716
00:41:24,280 --> 00:41:26,600
Well, maybe you'll get one
if you're lucky.
717
00:41:36,800 --> 00:41:38,680
One, two, three, go!
718
00:42:49,120 --> 00:42:50,720
I've not seen you.
719
00:43:39,880 --> 00:43:41,199
Fuck!
720
00:43:41,200 --> 00:43:44,879
'I used to wonder how I'd know
if it was love and not lust.
721
00:43:44,880 --> 00:43:46,399
'How you could tell?
722
00:43:46,400 --> 00:43:49,559
'Because in the past, I thought
it was there and it wasn't.
723
00:43:49,560 --> 00:43:51,278
'It was nice, don't get me wrong,
724
00:43:51,279 --> 00:43:53,720
'but it wasn't what
it should've been.
725
00:43:53,721 --> 00:43:56,759
'It didn't feel like
it should've felt.
726
00:43:56,760 --> 00:43:59,399
'If just the thought of them
doesn't warm you,
727
00:43:59,400 --> 00:44:02,559
'if being with them at the end
of the day isn't all you need,
728
00:44:02,560 --> 00:44:06,439
'if you're not counting the hours
until you see them again,
729
00:44:06,440 --> 00:44:09,199
'if you don't keep
their old messages on your phone,
730
00:44:09,200 --> 00:44:11,160
'just so you can hear that voice,
731
00:44:11,161 --> 00:44:13,799
'then, it's not love.'
732
00:45:03,720 --> 00:45:05,679
I need every single one of you
733
00:45:05,680 --> 00:45:08,159
to start pulling in
some serious money!
734
00:45:08,160 --> 00:45:09,600
I've got me community service.
735
00:45:09,601 --> 00:45:12,799
He's doing drama and plays and that.
736
00:45:12,800 --> 00:45:14,879
I think there's been a mistake.
737
00:45:14,880 --> 00:45:17,079
Been years since I did a burglary.
738
00:45:17,080 --> 00:45:18,918
It was always a bit
of a turn-on for me.
739
00:45:18,919 --> 00:45:20,000
You're gay!
740
00:45:20,001 --> 00:45:22,799
Don't say 'owt, will you?
741
00:45:22,800 --> 00:45:25,359
We won't say a word either.
742
00:45:25,360 --> 00:45:26,560
You never go bareback.
743
00:45:26,561 --> 00:45:29,239
It wasn't business, it was Marty.
744
00:45:29,240 --> 00:45:32,079
Going to have to do a bit more
than kissing to make him sweet.
745
00:45:32,080 --> 00:45:36,119
Mary's giving Joseph a blow job?
746
00:45:36,120 --> 00:45:37,998
I kind of liked
having you by me side.
747
00:45:37,999 --> 00:45:39,038
We should make it more permanent.
748
00:45:39,039 --> 00:45:40,158
You having a laugh?
749
00:45:40,159 --> 00:45:41,480
Will you marry me?
750
00:46:19,560 --> 00:46:22,520
Subtitles by
Red Bee Media and APOLLO
751
00:46:36,320 --> 00:46:39,239
For fuck's sake, Mam!
752
00:46:39,240 --> 00:46:41,640
Is that gastric band
playing up again?
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
54711
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof