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1
00:00:30,284 --> 00:00:33,120
You know, Junior,
thiS is kind of a
sentimental moment.
2
00:00:33,412 --> 00:00:36,082
Cold River is
where I was born,
where I was raised.
3
00:00:36,374 --> 00:00:38,709
Everyone I know is here.
4
00:00:39,001 --> 00:00:41,170
Got a lot of
fond memories
of this place.
5
00:00:41,462 --> 00:00:43,881
Fond memories?
What're you
talkin' about?
6
00:00:44,173 --> 00:00:47,426
Everybody hated ya,
your father,
your wife,
7
00:00:47,718 --> 00:00:49,428
those horrible neighbors.
8
00:00:51,097 --> 00:00:53,099
You're right. Let's
blow this joint!
9
00:00:53,391 --> 00:00:54,308
(ENGINE REVVING)
10
00:00:55,017 --> 00:00:55,977
Yeah!
11
00:00:56,269 --> 00:00:57,395
Whoo-ha!
12
00:00:59,313 --> 00:01:02,733
(ONLY THE STRONG SURVIVE
PERFORMED BY BRYAN ADAMS)
13
00:01:03,025 --> 00:01:05,570
When the pressure's on
and you're all alone
14
00:01:07,905 --> 00:01:09,991
Takin' me right through
the danger zone
15
00:01:12,285 --> 00:01:14,829
When the moon is high
and the skies are clear
16
00:01:16,998 --> 00:01:20,001
Just show me a sign
and we'll be out of here
17
00:01:20,293 --> 00:01:23,546
Take me up
on a wing and a prayer
18
00:01:24,505 --> 00:01:25,381
Look.
19
00:01:25,673 --> 00:01:26,924
If you need
a friend you'll know
20
00:01:28,301 --> 00:01:30,886
I'll be there
Yeah
21
00:01:33,598 --> 00:01:35,641
Hound dog howling'
out through the night
22
00:01:38,227 --> 00:01:40,396
Eight miles high and
I'm doin' all
right
23
00:01:42,898 --> 00:01:45,151
Better move over
'cause you're
goin' too slow
24
00:01:47,236 --> 00:01:49,447
I feel the need for freedom
and now it's time to go
25
00:01:50,197 --> 00:01:51,657
There's a fine line
26
00:01:51,949 --> 00:01:53,743
Between pleasure and pain
27
00:01:55,328 --> 00:01:57,371
Let your conscience
be your guide
28
00:01:58,331 --> 00:02:00,041
Till we meet again
29
00:02:00,625 --> 00:02:01,626
Yeah
30
00:02:01,917 --> 00:02:05,546
The time has come
You can stand or you can run
31
00:02:07,048 --> 00:02:09,634
Don't keep it all
inside
32
00:02:10,593 --> 00:02:12,720
You gotta understand
33
00:02:13,012 --> 00:02:15,598
There ain't no second
chance
34
00:02:15,890 --> 00:02:18,934
No one gets
out of here alive
35
00:02:19,226 --> 00:02:20,519
Only the strong survive
36
00:02:21,646 --> 00:02:22,772
Whoo
37
00:02:36,494 --> 00:02:39,163
BEN: Well, we're finally
here, Mortville.
38
00:02:39,455 --> 00:02:42,750
Take me up
on a wing and a prayer
39
00:02:44,126 --> 00:02:46,295
if you need someone
you know
40
00:02:47,546 --> 00:02:49,423
I'll be there
41
00:02:51,008 --> 00:02:54,011
The time has come
you can stand or you can run
42
00:02:56,055 --> 00:02:58,599
Don't keep it all
inside
43
00:02:59,433 --> 00:03:01,644
You gotta understand
44
00:03:01,936 --> 00:03:04,021
There ain't no second
chance
45
00:03:04,313 --> 00:03:05,398
(JUNIOR LAUGHING)
46
00:03:05,690 --> 00:03:07,942
No one gets
out of here alive
47
00:03:08,234 --> 00:03:09,568
Only the strong survive
48
00:03:12,279 --> 00:03:13,781
(JUNIOR CONTINUES LAUGH ING)
49
00:03:14,073 --> 00:03:15,825
Only the strong survive
50
00:03:16,117 --> 00:03:18,619
JUNIOR: Is it the one
with the yellow roof?
BEN: No.
51
00:03:18,911 --> 00:03:20,287
JUNIOR: Hmm.
52
00:03:20,579 --> 00:03:22,623
Is it the one with
the purple flowers?
53
00:03:22,915 --> 00:03:24,583
No.
54
00:03:24,875 --> 00:03:27,420
How about the one with
the great big sold sign
in the front yard?
55
00:03:27,712 --> 00:03:28,504
Bingo!
56
00:03:28,796 --> 00:03:30,965
Only the strong survive
57
00:03:36,095 --> 00:03:37,847
JUNIOR: Hey, Dad, come on.
Let's go! Quick!
58
00:03:38,472 --> 00:03:39,682
Ah!
59
00:03:41,684 --> 00:03:43,561
Oh, my God!
60
00:03:44,478 --> 00:03:46,147
Look at that hunk.
61
00:03:46,439 --> 00:03:48,023
Hubba hubba.
62
00:03:48,315 --> 00:03:51,110
And the realtor
says he's single.
63
00:03:51,402 --> 00:03:53,738
ALL: Ah! Single! Single!
64
00:03:54,029 --> 00:03:54,989
What do you think, Junior?
65
00:03:55,281 --> 00:03:58,242
Great. Come on.
Quick, Dad!
66
00:03:59,535 --> 00:04:01,746
Whoa! Totally awesome.
67
00:04:03,372 --> 00:04:04,749
Radical!
68
00:04:05,040 --> 00:04:06,250
You like it?
69
00:04:06,542 --> 00:04:08,627
Wow! It's fantastic!
70
00:04:08,919 --> 00:04:10,880
BEN: Ha-ha! Wait till you
see your bedroom.
71
00:04:12,965 --> 00:04:14,091
Yee-ha!
72
00:04:14,383 --> 00:04:15,593
BEN: Home sweet home!
73
00:04:15,885 --> 00:04:17,428
Yeah, that's right.
Ha-ha!
74
00:04:18,846 --> 00:04:21,265
This place is gigantic!
75
00:04:21,557 --> 00:04:23,517
You could play
football in here.
Oh.
76
00:04:23,809 --> 00:04:26,061
Hit me! I'm open!
Here's the bomb.
77
00:04:26,353 --> 00:04:29,565
JUNIOR: So here we are,
starting our new life.
78
00:04:29,857 --> 00:04:32,109
It's nice having a guy
who loves me.
79
00:04:32,401 --> 00:04:36,280
Usually, people take
one look and run
screaming for the hills.
80
00:04:36,572 --> 00:04:39,742
You know, I think
me and Dad are gonna
do all right together.
81
00:04:40,034 --> 00:04:41,786
Thought you could
sneak through a
little opening there?
82
00:04:42,077 --> 00:04:44,663
Should I spike you? No,
it's illegal to spike kids.
83
00:04:44,955 --> 00:04:46,040
Come here, buddy.
84
00:04:46,332 --> 00:04:47,666
It's just you and me,
Junior.
(DOORBELL RINGS)
85
00:04:47,958 --> 00:04:49,084
Hang on a second, pal.
86
00:04:49,376 --> 00:04:50,628
Somebody's at the door.
Aw!
87
00:04:52,963 --> 00:04:55,466
Hi. I wanted to welcome you
to our little neighborhood,
88
00:04:55,758 --> 00:04:57,343
so I, uh, baked you a...
89
00:04:58,010 --> 00:04:59,345
Cherry pie.
90
00:05:00,513 --> 00:05:01,972
Well, that's so sweet.
91
00:05:02,264 --> 00:05:04,308
Look, Junior, she baked
us a cherry pie.
92
00:05:05,100 --> 00:05:06,560
How thoughtful.
93
00:05:08,646 --> 00:05:10,439
All right, 1st and 10.
94
00:05:12,066 --> 00:05:14,068
Junior,
what're you doing?
95
00:05:14,360 --> 00:05:16,237
I want you to apologize
to this kind lady.
96
00:05:16,529 --> 00:05:17,363
(SIGH ING)
97
00:05:18,239 --> 00:05:19,198
(LADIES MURMURING)
98
00:05:19,490 --> 00:05:22,034
Oh, you're even better
looking up close.
99
00:05:23,494 --> 00:05:24,745
Excuse me.
100
00:05:25,996 --> 00:05:27,873
(ALL MURMURING)
101
00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:30,960
What?
102
00:05:34,004 --> 00:05:35,589
Dad, what about football?
103
00:05:35,881 --> 00:05:37,216
Oh, thank you.
We can play later.
104
00:05:37,508 --> 00:05:39,051
Don't you want to meet
these wonderful ladies?
105
00:05:39,343 --> 00:05:40,427
Oh, thank you.
106
00:05:40,719 --> 00:05:43,848
Out of the way, girls!
Oh, thank God, another man!
107
00:05:44,139 --> 00:05:47,351
Another Joe I can talk to...
108
00:05:47,643 --> 00:05:49,728
I'm goin' crazy
livin' here.
109
00:05:50,020 --> 00:05:52,898
You know, Mortville, the
divorcée capital of the world.
110
00:05:53,190 --> 00:05:54,942
(CHUCKLING)
111
00:05:55,234 --> 00:05:56,944
Anyway listen, we're having
a little barbecue, so I
thought I'd be, you know,
112
00:05:57,236 --> 00:05:59,071
neighborly and invite
you to come over.
113
00:05:59,363 --> 00:06:02,283
Oh, hey, I'm Aron Burger.
I live next door.
114
00:06:02,575 --> 00:06:06,287
Oh, yeah, my name is
Ben Healy, and, and this
is my son, Junior.
115
00:06:07,413 --> 00:06:09,540
Hmm. He's a
funny-lookin' kid.
116
00:06:09,832 --> 00:06:12,501
Anyway, listen,
take this with
us, huh. Come on.
117
00:06:12,793 --> 00:06:15,462
ARON: Well, neighbor, what do
you think of my cooker, huh?
118
00:06:15,754 --> 00:06:16,922
It's very large.
119
00:06:17,214 --> 00:06:18,883
Hey, hey! You bet.
120
00:06:19,174 --> 00:06:21,844
Cost me a whole month's
paycheck but, ah, you know,
it's worth it.
121
00:06:22,136 --> 00:06:23,053
(CHUCKLES)
122
00:06:24,263 --> 00:06:25,431
Oh, I see you're
not impressed.
123
00:06:25,723 --> 00:06:27,516
Well, I guess your wife
does the cooking for you.
124
00:06:27,808 --> 00:06:29,977
(STUTTERING) No, I'm not
married, actually.
125
00:06:30,269 --> 00:06:32,771
We, ah, we broke up.
And you got the kid?
126
00:06:33,063 --> 00:06:35,399
Ooh, bad deal. (CHUCKLING)
127
00:06:35,691 --> 00:06:38,235
Did you get screwed!
(CHUCKLING)
128
00:06:38,527 --> 00:06:40,529
This neighborhood
has a move-in fee.
129
00:06:40,821 --> 00:06:43,282
You have to give
each of us $10.
130
00:06:43,866 --> 00:06:45,159
20 bucks?
131
00:06:45,451 --> 00:06:48,370
I'm not giving you
diddly-squat.
132
00:06:48,662 --> 00:06:51,290
Pay us or leave.
Eh.
133
00:06:51,582 --> 00:06:54,752
And with a 50 to one
chick-to-stud ratio
in this town, Healy,
134
00:06:55,044 --> 00:06:56,795
you gotta get
started, you know?
135
00:06:57,755 --> 00:06:58,923
Dad, can we go?
136
00:06:59,214 --> 00:07:00,883
These people
are real dicks.
137
00:07:01,175 --> 00:07:05,137
Well, excuse me,
your highness.
138
00:07:05,429 --> 00:07:09,266
I didn't realize that
simple little me and
my simple little family
139
00:07:09,558 --> 00:07:12,937
weren't good enough for
your high and mighty taste.
140
00:07:13,228 --> 00:07:17,691
Hey, maybe I should go inside
and slip on my silk tuxedo.
141
00:07:17,983 --> 00:07:21,737
And then we can trot out the
champagne and the escargot.
142
00:07:22,029 --> 00:07:22,988
(WIND HOWLING)
143
00:07:23,280 --> 00:07:26,325
Junior, try to be polite.
We're his guests.
144
00:07:26,951 --> 00:07:27,993
Okay, Dad.
145
00:07:28,911 --> 00:07:30,204
I'm sorry about that.
146
00:07:30,496 --> 00:07:31,664
It's all right.
147
00:07:31,956 --> 00:07:34,583
We've taken a long trip and
he's just a little tired.
148
00:07:34,875 --> 00:07:37,461
ARON: My girls are
the same way. Brats!
149
00:07:42,007 --> 00:07:43,384
(GAS LEAKING)
150
00:07:44,802 --> 00:07:47,096
Hey, Healy, go make
yourself useful.
151
00:07:47,388 --> 00:07:49,682
Get little more
barbecue sauce from
the little woman.
152
00:07:49,974 --> 00:07:51,809
Barbecue sauce.
Sure thing, neighbor.
153
00:07:52,893 --> 00:07:53,811
Ah!
154
00:07:54,395 --> 00:07:55,312
(SQUEAKING)
155
00:07:55,604 --> 00:07:56,480
Ah!
156
00:07:57,648 --> 00:08:00,317
Here's to the start
of a beautiful meal.
157
00:08:02,569 --> 00:08:03,821
(GAS LEAKING)
158
00:08:06,824 --> 00:08:07,866
Damn!
159
00:08:12,788 --> 00:08:15,207
Ho-ho! This one's not
gettin' away.
160
00:08:19,253 --> 00:08:20,921
Gotcha!
(EXPLOSION)
161
00:08:22,756 --> 00:08:24,216
(ARON SCREAMING)
162
00:08:36,812 --> 00:08:37,855
Whoa!
163
00:08:49,366 --> 00:08:50,617
My first
day of
school.
164
00:08:50,909 --> 00:08:53,787
I'm so proud of you.
You're such a good girl.
165
00:08:55,539 --> 00:08:58,876
Junior, now you get
out of this car!
You are going to school!
166
00:08:59,168 --> 00:09:00,961
No way. I'd rather
eat a turd.
167
00:09:01,253 --> 00:09:02,629
Ju... Ah!
168
00:09:02,921 --> 00:09:08,552
Junior, third grade
is the foundation
of a great education.
169
00:09:08,844 --> 00:09:11,430
If you don't go,
you'll only hurt
yourself.
170
00:09:11,722 --> 00:09:14,349
Well, I'm sure, I'll
take a couple others
down with me.
171
00:09:14,641 --> 00:09:19,605
Junior, I am your father
and you'll do as I say!
172
00:09:19,897 --> 00:09:20,939
Now, come on!
173
00:09:21,231 --> 00:09:23,609
Get out! (GRUNTING)
174
00:09:27,154 --> 00:09:28,781
Now, look what you've done.
175
00:09:32,201 --> 00:09:34,036
Get over here.
176
00:09:34,328 --> 00:09:36,955
Take this.
Good-bye and good luck.
177
00:09:44,671 --> 00:09:46,006
(PANTING)
178
00:09:48,175 --> 00:09:50,219
It's his first day.
He's a little nervous.
179
00:09:59,269 --> 00:10:00,604
It's him.
180
00:10:03,899 --> 00:10:07,361
Yiddish! Changing careers was
the smartest thing I ever did.
181
00:10:07,653 --> 00:10:10,906
Yes. Oh, yeah, because I love
being the principal.
182
00:10:11,198 --> 00:10:13,992
Because I hate children.
I hate them!
183
00:10:14,284 --> 00:10:16,537
Being a principal's great
'cause I hate children.
184
00:10:16,829 --> 00:10:18,956
I bark and they do what I say.
185
00:10:19,248 --> 00:10:21,792
Anything. Crawl around on all
fours, they do that.
186
00:10:22,084 --> 00:10:23,794
"Would you mind jumping
out of the window?"
187
00:10:24,086 --> 00:10:25,754
"Okay, sure, Mr. Principal."
188
00:10:26,046 --> 00:10:27,756
Out they go. Anything.
(BUZZER BEEPING)
189
00:10:28,048 --> 00:10:31,426
SECRETARY: Principal
Peabody, there's a
new student to see you.
190
00:10:31,718 --> 00:10:34,012
Uh, I'll have to
call you back.
191
00:10:34,304 --> 00:10:38,600
I have to deal with one
of the little weenies
right now.
192
00:10:38,892 --> 00:10:39,893
Okay, call you back.
193
00:10:41,228 --> 00:10:43,939
Send the little sweetheart in.
194
00:10:47,860 --> 00:10:49,069
Ahhh!
195
00:10:53,157 --> 00:10:56,076
Hey, pea brain,
what're you
doing here?
196
00:10:56,368 --> 00:10:58,912
What am I doing here?
What are you doing here?
197
00:10:59,204 --> 00:11:02,457
I belong here.
You belong in Cold River.
198
00:11:02,749 --> 00:11:03,625
This is Mortville.
199
00:11:03,917 --> 00:11:05,419
What're you doing here?
200
00:11:05,711 --> 00:11:07,754
You're not here.
That's it. That's the
only answer.
201
00:11:08,046 --> 00:11:09,506
You're not here. (LAUGHS)
202
00:11:09,798 --> 00:11:11,633
You're not here.
I'm imagining you.
203
00:11:11,925 --> 00:11:13,510
You're a figment of my
imagination.
204
00:11:13,802 --> 00:11:17,723
Well, if I was a figment
of your imagination,
could I do this?
205
00:11:18,515 --> 00:11:19,850
(FLATULENCE)
206
00:11:20,142 --> 00:11:22,811
Oh! Whoa!
207
00:11:23,103 --> 00:11:26,273
Oh, did something
crawl in here and die?
208
00:11:26,565 --> 00:11:29,234
(LAUGHS)
You, you disgusting kid!
209
00:11:29,526 --> 00:11:32,905
You disgusting,
flatulating kid!
210
00:11:33,197 --> 00:11:35,657
Whoa! I just had
a new paint job too.
211
00:11:35,949 --> 00:11:37,576
Oh, this is horrible. Ho!
212
00:11:37,868 --> 00:11:39,036
Grade, what grade are you in?
213
00:11:39,328 --> 00:11:40,537
Third.
Third?
214
00:11:40,829 --> 00:11:42,789
That means you're here
for another four years.
215
00:11:43,081 --> 00:11:43,999
This is a mistake.
216
00:11:44,291 --> 00:11:47,419
This is a big mistake
'cause you are a genius.
217
00:11:47,711 --> 00:11:49,087
You are so intelligent.
218
00:11:49,379 --> 00:11:52,674
Anyone who can break wind like
that has to have a mind.
219
00:11:52,966 --> 00:11:55,677
So, I'm gonna pass you on
to the sixth grade,
220
00:11:55,969 --> 00:11:58,680
and in one year you're
gonna be in another school.
221
00:11:58,972 --> 00:12:03,101
But my dad says third grade
is the foundation
of my education.
222
00:12:03,393 --> 00:12:05,020
Oh, your dad says that.
223
00:12:05,312 --> 00:12:08,899
Your dad is a moron!
He's a moron!
224
00:12:09,191 --> 00:12:12,277
You know what a moron is?
That's what your dad is!
225
00:12:12,569 --> 00:12:14,446
Anyway, you don't
belong here.
226
00:12:14,738 --> 00:12:16,490
You belong in the sixth grade.
227
00:12:16,782 --> 00:12:20,452
That's where you are
because you are a genius,
kid. A genius!
228
00:12:24,873 --> 00:12:27,584
JUNIOR: Sixth grade? Wow!
229
00:12:27,876 --> 00:12:30,337
I should fart in more
people's offices.
230
00:12:34,299 --> 00:12:35,217
(DOOR OPENS)
231
00:12:39,680 --> 00:12:41,181
(CLASS GIGGLING)
232
00:12:43,100 --> 00:12:44,268
Oh, no, not another one.
233
00:12:44,559 --> 00:12:46,395
How many kids
are they gonna
make me teach?
234
00:12:48,605 --> 00:12:49,690
Well, get in there
and find a seat.
235
00:12:49,982 --> 00:12:51,650
Go ahead, come on, come on.
Hustle, small fry.
236
00:12:51,942 --> 00:12:54,820
I'm not gonna have you
holdin' up my class all
year. Now, let's move it!
237
00:12:56,238 --> 00:12:58,031
Now let's start with
a nice easy review
238
00:12:58,323 --> 00:13:01,535
to see how much you
underachievers remember
from last year.
239
00:13:02,494 --> 00:13:04,579
Polly, what's 17 times 8?
240
00:13:04,871 --> 00:13:07,082
136.
Good.
241
00:13:07,374 --> 00:13:10,335
Richard, what's 72 divided
by negative nine?
242
00:13:10,627 --> 00:13:12,212
Negative eight, sir.
Fine.
243
00:13:13,005 --> 00:13:14,131
Murph!
244
00:13:15,340 --> 00:13:16,466
Murph!
245
00:13:16,758 --> 00:13:17,801
What's three plus two?
246
00:13:18,093 --> 00:13:19,094
Hmm...
247
00:13:21,596 --> 00:13:23,473
Four.
(CLASS LAUGH ING)
248
00:13:26,059 --> 00:13:28,603
Murph, you've been in the
sixth grade since I started
teaching here.
249
00:13:28,895 --> 00:13:31,398
I really want to get you out
this year. Now, please.
250
00:13:31,690 --> 00:13:34,693
Please work with me.
What's three plus two?
251
00:13:36,778 --> 00:13:37,779
Nine?
252
00:13:38,071 --> 00:13:39,448
(CLASS JEERING)
Hmph!
253
00:13:40,699 --> 00:13:42,951
I can see this is gonna
be a long year.
254
00:13:43,243 --> 00:13:44,953
Five, all right?
The answer is five.
255
00:13:45,579 --> 00:13:46,538
You.
256
00:13:47,414 --> 00:13:48,457
What're you saying?
257
00:13:48,749 --> 00:13:50,125
Uh, I said five.
258
00:13:51,501 --> 00:13:52,627
(CLICKING AND SLAPPING)
259
00:13:52,919 --> 00:13:54,504
Dandy! I'm glad
somebody's paying
attention here.
260
00:13:54,796 --> 00:13:56,131
Polly, pass out the workbooks.
261
00:13:56,423 --> 00:13:58,091
I'm gonna go rummage
in the storage closet,
262
00:13:58,383 --> 00:14:00,427
see if I can find something
for good ol' Murph.
263
00:14:05,223 --> 00:14:06,433
(DOOR CLOSES)
264
00:14:20,072 --> 00:14:22,574
Who let the baby
into the sixth grade?
265
00:14:24,618 --> 00:14:25,827
What's in your bag?
266
00:14:26,119 --> 00:14:27,829
(THUMP)
Your diapers?
267
00:14:28,121 --> 00:14:29,956
No, my lunch, you pinhead.
268
00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:36,671
Little kid doesn't
know who he's talkin' to.
269
00:14:36,963 --> 00:14:38,590
I'm the senior
student in this school.
270
00:14:38,882 --> 00:14:41,927
No shit! You've been
here since 1970.
271
00:14:42,219 --> 00:14:43,553
Oh, you're gonna hurt!
272
00:14:46,014 --> 00:14:47,182
(HUFFING)
273
00:14:52,771 --> 00:14:55,232
This is your last
day of school ever!
274
00:14:56,191 --> 00:14:57,317
(COUGH ING)
275
00:15:04,116 --> 00:15:05,492
(KIDS SCREAMING)
276
00:15:10,747 --> 00:15:12,207
(MUFFLED MOANING)
277
00:15:22,843 --> 00:15:24,094
JUNIOR: Maybe Dad's right.
278
00:15:24,386 --> 00:15:27,055
Maybe Mortville is gonna be
a great place to live.
279
00:15:46,741 --> 00:15:47,951
Whoa! Ow!
280
00:15:48,869 --> 00:15:50,078
Good morning, Miss Dumore.
281
00:15:50,370 --> 00:15:53,123
They missed a payment.
Toss 'em in the street.
282
00:15:53,415 --> 00:15:56,251
But, uh... But ma'am,
that's a nursing home.
They're invalids.
283
00:15:56,543 --> 00:15:59,087
Oh, boo-hoo-hoo.
284
00:15:59,379 --> 00:16:01,256
So, are we all set for
that charity ball?
285
00:16:01,548 --> 00:16:03,467
Your tickets are
confirmed, but...
286
00:16:03,758 --> 00:16:06,094
Sergio says
he needs money
for a new tux.
287
00:16:06,803 --> 00:16:08,472
More money!
288
00:16:08,763 --> 00:16:11,308
I gave him
two grand yesterday.
289
00:16:12,184 --> 00:16:14,352
These damn gigolos!
290
00:16:14,644 --> 00:16:17,647
Every man in Mortville
wants to bleed me dry.
291
00:16:17,939 --> 00:16:21,234
Why can't I just find a
good, decent man?
292
00:16:21,943 --> 00:16:23,570
One with integrity.
293
00:16:23,862 --> 00:16:25,697
One with compassion.
One with...
294
00:16:26,364 --> 00:16:27,657
Oh, my God.
295
00:16:28,366 --> 00:16:29,951
Who's that beefcake?
296
00:16:32,621 --> 00:16:34,456
I don't know. I suppose
he's a customer at the
bank.
297
00:16:34,748 --> 00:16:35,624
He's with the loan
officer...
298
00:16:35,916 --> 00:16:38,043
Out of my way, fat boy.
299
00:16:38,335 --> 00:16:40,170
And you see, that's why I
want to start my own business
300
00:16:40,462 --> 00:16:43,423
because I wanna create
something out of nothing.
301
00:16:43,715 --> 00:16:45,300
I don't just wanna take,
you know?
302
00:16:45,592 --> 00:16:49,137
I wanna give. I wanna put
something back into the
community.
303
00:16:50,639 --> 00:16:51,848
Oh!
304
00:16:52,140 --> 00:16:55,227
He's incredible,
and he's just my type.
305
00:16:55,519 --> 00:16:58,772
Smith, I want you to find out
everything about this guy
306
00:16:59,064 --> 00:17:01,441
because I think
I found myself
hubby number seven.
307
00:17:12,494 --> 00:17:14,287
Hello. Hi.
308
00:17:15,372 --> 00:17:17,123
(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)
309
00:17:21,586 --> 00:17:22,879
BEN: Hey, Junior!
310
00:17:23,171 --> 00:17:25,173
Hey, Dad.
So, tell me.
311
00:17:25,465 --> 00:17:26,841
How was your
first day at school?
312
00:17:27,133 --> 00:17:29,553
Pretty good.
They skipped me
three grades.
313
00:17:29,844 --> 00:17:31,054
They skipped you?
314
00:17:31,346 --> 00:17:34,266
That's fantastic!
I can't believe it.
315
00:17:34,558 --> 00:17:36,935
See? I told you you'd
hit it off here.
316
00:17:37,227 --> 00:17:40,397
So, tell me.
Did you make any
new friends?
317
00:17:40,689 --> 00:17:43,483
JUNIOR: Well, how
would you define
the word "friend"?
318
00:17:43,775 --> 00:17:45,443
(CREAKING)
(GRUNTING)
319
00:17:47,362 --> 00:17:48,280
(SCREAMS)
320
00:17:50,240 --> 00:17:51,157
Mmm.
321
00:17:51,449 --> 00:17:52,325
Ow!
322
00:18:02,294 --> 00:18:03,920
Who are you?
323
00:18:04,212 --> 00:18:07,340
I'm Annie Young. I'm the nurse
here at Mortville Elementary.
324
00:18:09,009 --> 00:18:10,885
The children are very lucky.
325
00:18:11,469 --> 00:18:12,429
(SIGH ING)
326
00:18:14,472 --> 00:18:15,890
Uh.
(CLATTERING)
327
00:18:17,475 --> 00:18:18,435
I'm sorry.
328
00:18:18,727 --> 00:18:20,228
It's okay. Ow!
Let me get that. Oh, God!
329
00:18:20,520 --> 00:18:21,855
Excuse me. Oh,
here, I should...
(GIGGLING)
330
00:18:22,147 --> 00:18:23,398
(CLEARS THROAT)
331
00:18:23,690 --> 00:18:27,110
If you two are done fooling
around, maybe we can go home.
332
00:18:27,402 --> 00:18:29,070
Yeah, uh, uh...
333
00:18:29,362 --> 00:18:33,575
Give me a few minutes,
Junior. I think the
swelling's coming back.
334
00:18:34,075 --> 00:18:34,993
Mmm.
335
00:18:35,577 --> 00:18:37,078
Mmm.
336
00:18:37,370 --> 00:18:38,705
I'll put a compress on that.
337
00:18:38,997 --> 00:18:40,749
Such a good
little soldier.
338
00:18:41,041 --> 00:18:42,042
Hmph!
339
00:18:44,169 --> 00:18:45,503
"Give me a few minutes,
Junior.
340
00:18:45,795 --> 00:18:47,464
"Give me a few minutes,
Junior."
341
00:18:47,756 --> 00:18:50,383
I've been here for an hour!
342
00:18:50,675 --> 00:18:52,594
Who does that nurse
think she is?
343
00:18:55,180 --> 00:18:56,473
Hmm...
344
00:18:56,765 --> 00:18:58,933
I wouldn't do that
if I were you.
345
00:18:59,225 --> 00:19:01,728
Oh, it's you. Buzz off!
346
00:19:02,020 --> 00:19:05,690
I wouldn't do that
if I were you!
347
00:19:05,982 --> 00:19:10,528
If I were you, I wouldn't do
a lot of things, like go out
in public. (CHUCKLES)
348
00:19:11,863 --> 00:19:12,864
(MARKER SWISHING)
349
00:19:14,032 --> 00:19:14,949
(TRIXIE GRUNTING)
350
00:19:15,825 --> 00:19:17,118
Hi-ya!
351
00:19:19,537 --> 00:19:21,665
Next time you'll
listen to me.
352
00:19:30,382 --> 00:19:33,009
LAWANDA: Oh, my God!
He's an Adonis.
353
00:19:33,301 --> 00:19:34,678
Look at these stats.
354
00:19:34,969 --> 00:19:38,682
Six feet tall, 185 pounds,
355
00:19:39,516 --> 00:19:40,934
inseam 35 inches.
356
00:19:41,226 --> 00:19:43,395
Oh, sweet Jesus, take me home!
357
00:19:43,687 --> 00:19:44,854
(GASPING) Oh.
358
00:19:47,607 --> 00:19:49,693
What's this thing?
His son.
359
00:19:50,193 --> 00:19:51,319
(SIGHS)
360
00:19:53,071 --> 00:19:56,241
"Boy and convicted killer
go on joyride"?
361
00:19:57,450 --> 00:19:59,494
"Little league team
hospitalized"?
362
00:20:01,913 --> 00:20:04,582
"Union carbide plant
explodes"?
363
00:20:06,376 --> 00:20:07,794
This kid's a nightmare.
364
00:20:08,086 --> 00:20:09,087
So, what?
365
00:20:09,379 --> 00:20:10,463
What do you wanna do?
Forget the whole thing?
366
00:20:10,755 --> 00:20:11,798
Smith!
367
00:20:13,466 --> 00:20:17,137
When someone has a bum leg,
you don't shoot the patient.
368
00:20:18,263 --> 00:20:19,764
You just cut off the leg.
369
00:20:23,435 --> 00:20:25,895
And that's why you want
a franchise.
370
00:20:26,187 --> 00:20:28,940
But don't wait.
Big Ben is the fastest
growing...
371
00:20:29,232 --> 00:20:31,025
Hey, it's Big Ben.
372
00:20:31,317 --> 00:20:33,027
BIG BEN: So, pick up
that phone and call now.
373
00:20:33,319 --> 00:20:36,865
You know, for just $399
you can get one of my starter
kits.
374
00:20:37,157 --> 00:20:39,576
Hey, you'll be on your way
to having it all,
just like me,
375
00:20:39,868 --> 00:20:40,702
Big Ben Healy.
376
00:20:40,994 --> 00:20:41,786
(BIG BEN LAUGHS)
377
00:20:42,078 --> 00:20:43,121
What's this?
378
00:20:43,913 --> 00:20:44,873
(SIGHS)
379
00:20:45,165 --> 00:20:46,332
Look at this!
380
00:20:46,624 --> 00:20:48,960
What sort of idiot
would send grandpa money?
381
00:20:49,919 --> 00:20:51,296
That's my name. (LAUGHS)
382
00:20:51,588 --> 00:20:53,465
The old man's finally
lost his mind.
383
00:20:53,757 --> 00:20:55,216
Uh-huh.
God.
384
00:20:55,508 --> 00:20:57,427
Junior, I want you
to come downstairs.
I got a surprise for you.
385
00:20:57,719 --> 00:20:59,512
All right! A surprise!
386
00:20:59,804 --> 00:21:01,431
Where? Where is it?
Right down the steps.
387
00:21:01,723 --> 00:21:03,850
Now, where is that surprise?
388
00:21:04,601 --> 00:21:05,477
Surprise!
389
00:21:05,769 --> 00:21:06,644
Hi, Junior!
390
00:21:06,936 --> 00:21:09,230
I'm Rhoda, your
babysitter.
391
00:21:09,522 --> 00:21:11,357
We're gonna be
good friends.
392
00:21:11,649 --> 00:21:13,902
Uh, Dad, let's slow
this down a minute.
393
00:21:14,194 --> 00:21:16,488
Now, what is going on here?
394
00:21:16,780 --> 00:21:20,241
Junior, this is Rhoda, your
babysitter. You two are
gonna be good friends.
395
00:21:20,533 --> 00:21:22,869
Yeah, I heard that part.
But why?
396
00:21:23,620 --> 00:21:24,579
Yoo-hoo.
397
00:21:25,747 --> 00:21:28,124
Because I'm goin'
out on a date.
398
00:21:28,416 --> 00:21:29,584
Hi, Ben.
Hi.
399
00:21:29,876 --> 00:21:31,002
I'm all ready.
400
00:21:31,294 --> 00:21:34,130
Great, uh, Junior,
you remember
Debbie Claukinski?
401
00:21:34,881 --> 00:21:36,257
How can I forget?
402
00:21:36,549 --> 00:21:38,301
Her pie gave us the runs.
403
00:21:40,053 --> 00:21:41,721
That's not,
that's not true.
404
00:21:42,013 --> 00:21:44,349
He's thinking about
someone else's pie.
405
00:21:44,641 --> 00:21:48,394
Anyway, uh, we don't wanna
be late. I got us reservations
at the St. Pierre Club.
406
00:21:48,686 --> 00:21:50,855
Oh! I'm so excited.
407
00:21:51,147 --> 00:21:53,858
My ex-husband
never took me to
fancy places.
408
00:21:54,150 --> 00:21:57,111
Not that I'm the sort of
gal who rattles on about
her last marriage.
409
00:21:57,403 --> 00:21:58,530
That guy is
insanely jealous.
410
00:21:58,822 --> 00:22:00,031
Really?
Dad, come on!
411
00:22:00,323 --> 00:22:01,533
Stay here and
have fun with me.
412
00:22:01,825 --> 00:22:04,035
Junior, calm down. You're
gonna have fun with Rhoda.
413
00:22:04,327 --> 00:22:07,247
Okay, I'm sure you can
think of a lot of fun games
to play with her, okay?
414
00:22:07,539 --> 00:22:08,456
I'll talk to you later.
415
00:22:10,124 --> 00:22:13,461
TV ANNOUNCER: Welcome to the
wonderful world of pigs.
416
00:22:13,753 --> 00:22:16,756
Dirty, hungry,
and always horny.
(PIGS GRUNTING)
417
00:22:17,048 --> 00:22:20,552
They're Mother
Nature's clowns of
the farm world.
418
00:22:20,844 --> 00:22:24,264
Watching these
charming critters
roll in the mud,
419
00:22:24,556 --> 00:22:28,560
it's hard to believe
they have an intelligence
as high as some humans.
420
00:22:28,852 --> 00:22:30,019
But it's true.
421
00:22:32,272 --> 00:22:33,773
Good night, Dad.
422
00:22:34,065 --> 00:22:35,066
RHODA: Hey, brat!
Put that back!
423
00:22:35,358 --> 00:22:36,401
I'm watching.
424
00:22:36,818 --> 00:22:37,735
Hmm.
425
00:22:42,323 --> 00:22:44,450
JUNIOR: This babysitter sucks.
426
00:22:44,742 --> 00:22:47,662
I gotta get Dad
back on track here.
427
00:22:47,954 --> 00:22:51,916
Hmm. I wonder
whatever happened
to Mr. Claukinski?
428
00:23:00,008 --> 00:23:01,509
(PHONE RINGING)
429
00:23:04,387 --> 00:23:06,014
Hello?
430
00:23:06,306 --> 00:23:09,267
JUNIOR: Are you the guy that
was married to Debbie
Claukinski?
431
00:23:10,602 --> 00:23:12,896
(SOBS) Yeah, but then
she left me.
432
00:23:14,439 --> 00:23:19,986
She took my house
and my money and my pride.
433
00:23:20,278 --> 00:23:24,198
Well, I thought you'd
like to know that she
found herself a new guy,
434
00:23:24,490 --> 00:23:26,618
and they're out at the
St. Pierre Club,
435
00:23:26,910 --> 00:23:29,120
having fun at your expense.
436
00:23:30,079 --> 00:23:31,372
Who is this?
437
00:23:31,664 --> 00:23:34,042
Just call me a friend.
438
00:23:36,377 --> 00:23:37,712
(PIANO PLAYING)
439
00:23:43,092 --> 00:23:44,552
Oh!
440
00:23:44,844 --> 00:23:46,596
Oh, Ben, this evening
is perfect.
441
00:23:46,888 --> 00:23:49,432
Now I know why the Mortville
Gazette gave this restaurant
three and a half forks.
442
00:23:51,559 --> 00:23:52,518
Hey, excuse me, sir,
we have a dress...
443
00:23:52,810 --> 00:23:54,479
Let me in here,
you fool!
444
00:23:57,482 --> 00:23:58,566
To us...
445
00:23:59,734 --> 00:24:00,818
Tonight.
446
00:24:05,198 --> 00:24:06,783
Ah-ha!
447
00:24:07,075 --> 00:24:10,328
Debbie, you tramp.
What are you doing here?
448
00:24:10,620 --> 00:24:13,081
Voytek, I'm a free woman.
I can do whatever I want.
449
00:24:13,373 --> 00:24:14,916
I show you!
450
00:24:15,208 --> 00:24:16,584
(CLUNK)
Ow! Oh!
451
00:24:16,876 --> 00:24:18,544
Debbie, you leave with me.
452
00:24:18,836 --> 00:24:20,213
Come. We take the bus home.
453
00:24:20,505 --> 00:24:21,965
Like hell I will!
454
00:24:22,256 --> 00:24:23,424
I'm on a date.
455
00:24:24,884 --> 00:24:27,387
You home breaker!
456
00:24:27,929 --> 00:24:29,138
(STRAINING)
457
00:24:31,182 --> 00:24:33,267
Oh, my kidney.
458
00:24:33,935 --> 00:24:35,103
You bully!
459
00:24:36,104 --> 00:24:37,355
(CROWD GASPING)
460
00:24:38,731 --> 00:24:41,442
DEBBIE: Ben,
shame on you!
461
00:24:41,734 --> 00:24:42,735
(VIDEO GAME BEEPING)
462
00:24:43,027 --> 00:24:44,862
Laser cannon locked on.
463
00:24:46,364 --> 00:24:47,991
Fire laser cannon.
464
00:24:54,706 --> 00:24:56,541
Finally! Dad's home!
465
00:24:59,002 --> 00:25:00,837
RHODA: Uh, I thought
you'd never get here.
466
00:25:01,129 --> 00:25:02,672
JUNIOR: Who is that weirdo?
467
00:25:02,964 --> 00:25:04,132
Gee, baby,
you sure work fast.
468
00:25:04,424 --> 00:25:07,093
Yeah, I got Russian hands
and Roman fingers.
469
00:25:07,385 --> 00:25:09,053
Now, where's that
master bedroom?
470
00:25:09,345 --> 00:25:11,180
(RHODA PANTING)
471
00:25:11,472 --> 00:25:13,641
Darlin'! (GIGGLING)
472
00:25:13,933 --> 00:25:16,019
Hey, this ain't no motel!
473
00:25:16,310 --> 00:25:17,729
Mind your own
beeswax, twerp.
474
00:25:18,021 --> 00:25:19,939
Now, go watch
TV or something.
475
00:25:20,231 --> 00:25:21,774
Yeah, what she said.
476
00:25:36,873 --> 00:25:39,542
Oh, Voytek, you were
always the best.
477
00:25:39,834 --> 00:25:41,252
Yeah!
478
00:25:43,004 --> 00:25:44,505
So much for my first date.
479
00:25:45,965 --> 00:25:47,592
( INDISTINCT YELLING)
480
00:25:49,302 --> 00:25:50,595
Oh, now what?
481
00:25:53,806 --> 00:25:55,141
(CHEERING)
482
00:26:12,408 --> 00:26:14,077
Keep it up. My God!
483
00:26:15,578 --> 00:26:16,996
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
484
00:26:19,248 --> 00:26:20,208
Oh, my...
485
00:26:20,500 --> 00:26:21,959
He's still going!
Unbelievable!
486
00:26:25,713 --> 00:26:27,298
(LAUGH ING)
487
00:26:27,590 --> 00:26:29,008
Yeah! Go for it.
488
00:26:29,300 --> 00:26:30,718
Healy, that's hot stuff.
489
00:26:32,345 --> 00:26:33,346
Yeah!
490
00:26:35,139 --> 00:26:37,767
Junior, we're new here
in this community.
491
00:26:38,059 --> 00:26:41,354
Can't we at least
attempt to fit in?
492
00:26:41,646 --> 00:26:43,064
What are you gettin'
angry at me for?
493
00:26:43,356 --> 00:26:45,399
I didn't do it.
I just watched it.
494
00:26:45,691 --> 00:26:48,194
Yes, and so did the
entire neighborhood.
495
00:26:48,486 --> 00:26:50,029
I didn't hear any
complaints.
496
00:26:50,321 --> 00:26:51,280
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
497
00:26:51,572 --> 00:26:52,907
Oh! Great.
498
00:26:53,199 --> 00:26:55,201
The evening that
wouldn't die.
499
00:26:56,619 --> 00:26:57,578
What?
500
00:26:57,870 --> 00:26:59,247
Hey-hey!
501
00:26:59,539 --> 00:27:01,415
There's two more outside.
Grab 'em, huh?
502
00:27:01,707 --> 00:27:03,126
Dad, what are
you doing here?
503
00:27:03,417 --> 00:27:05,837
Well, I'm here on my
vacation. I thought I'd
spend it with you.
504
00:27:06,129 --> 00:27:07,130
Excuse me.
505
00:27:07,421 --> 00:27:08,965
How'd he find us?
506
00:27:09,257 --> 00:27:10,883
Eh, you rascal.
507
00:27:11,175 --> 00:27:12,176
I even brought Nippy.
508
00:27:12,468 --> 00:27:13,594
(WHISTLES)
Hey, boy, come here, Nip.
509
00:27:13,886 --> 00:27:14,887
Come on.
(GROWLING)
510
00:27:15,179 --> 00:27:18,349
Hey, get this freak
off of me. Get!
511
00:27:18,641 --> 00:27:20,393
Now don't scare him
for God's sakes.
512
00:27:20,685 --> 00:27:22,145
He's only trying
to be friendly.
513
00:27:23,104 --> 00:27:24,438
You know this dog
is unbalanced.
514
00:27:24,730 --> 00:27:25,982
JUNIOR: Get him out of here!
515
00:27:27,275 --> 00:27:29,152
Stay!
(BARKING)
516
00:27:29,443 --> 00:27:30,653
Now, what is going on here?
517
00:27:30,945 --> 00:27:32,113
You never take vacations.
518
00:27:32,405 --> 00:27:35,032
And if you did, you certainly
wouldn't spend them with me.
519
00:27:35,783 --> 00:27:37,243
Oh, Little Ben.
520
00:27:37,702 --> 00:27:38,744
Huh.
521
00:27:39,036 --> 00:27:41,122
Little Ben, you're
my only son.
522
00:27:42,248 --> 00:27:43,457
Dad, you hate me.
523
00:27:43,749 --> 00:27:46,002
Okay, okay,
you figured me out.
524
00:27:46,294 --> 00:27:47,670
I'm not on vacation.
I'm broke.
525
00:27:47,962 --> 00:27:49,589
You're what?
I'm Chapter 11.
526
00:27:49,881 --> 00:27:52,175
My SNL crashed,
my creditors are
after me.
527
00:27:52,466 --> 00:27:54,343
I gotta find a place
to hide out
for a while.
528
00:27:54,635 --> 00:27:56,679
So, why don't you just
hide out somewhere else?
529
00:27:56,971 --> 00:27:58,890
And why don't you mind
your own damn business, huh?
530
00:27:59,182 --> 00:28:00,433
Nobody asked you a thing.
531
00:28:00,725 --> 00:28:03,269
Wait a minute, you can't be
broke. We just saw you on TV.
532
00:28:03,561 --> 00:28:05,354
Oh, that was a big rip-off.
533
00:28:05,646 --> 00:28:07,106
There were no franchises.
534
00:28:07,398 --> 00:28:09,692
Hell, I only sold
one starter kit.
535
00:28:09,984 --> 00:28:11,736
No, I gotta
find a place
to lay low
536
00:28:12,028 --> 00:28:15,198
until this whole
Godforsaken thing
blows over.
537
00:28:15,489 --> 00:28:19,285
Come on, Little Ben.
Do your ol' man a favor.
538
00:28:19,577 --> 00:28:22,121
All those years I spent
putting a roof over your head.
539
00:28:22,413 --> 00:28:24,874
Hey, I even bribed
that dean to keep you
in college, remember?
540
00:28:25,166 --> 00:28:26,042
Huh?
541
00:28:26,334 --> 00:28:27,501
You know something?
542
00:28:28,044 --> 00:28:29,212
You owe me.
543
00:28:32,381 --> 00:28:34,717
Ah, this room
is a little small.
544
00:28:35,009 --> 00:28:36,928
Well, it's all
we've got.
545
00:28:37,220 --> 00:28:38,930
You can sleep in
one of the bunk beds.
546
00:28:39,222 --> 00:28:40,431
Or you can leave.
547
00:28:40,723 --> 00:28:42,850
No, it'll do.
548
00:28:43,142 --> 00:28:44,602
But I get the top bunk.
549
00:28:47,021 --> 00:28:48,272
(BARKING)
550
00:28:57,990 --> 00:28:59,158
(SNORING)
551
00:29:38,948 --> 00:29:40,574
Ah, finally.
552
00:29:48,582 --> 00:29:49,875
(SNORING)
553
00:29:57,550 --> 00:29:58,467
(GRUNTS)
554
00:30:06,934 --> 00:30:09,437
Some educators underestimate
the value of civics,
555
00:30:09,729 --> 00:30:11,897
but I say for
the growing mind,
556
00:30:12,189 --> 00:30:15,151
there's nothing more
important than pride
in your city.
557
00:30:16,485 --> 00:30:18,070
This is Highway 39.
558
00:30:20,156 --> 00:30:21,866
This is the Mortville
Steel Mill.
559
00:30:24,660 --> 00:30:28,998
Ah, and this is Mortville's
very own Love Rock.
560
00:30:29,290 --> 00:30:32,835
When the Dumore family settled
this region, they stole it
from the Indians.
561
00:30:33,127 --> 00:30:36,047
The Indians claim the rock
has magic powers.
562
00:30:36,339 --> 00:30:37,882
What kind of magic?
563
00:30:38,174 --> 00:30:40,092
Well, I don't know, love
magic, I guess.
564
00:30:40,384 --> 00:30:43,220
You make a wish and it comes
true. At least, that's what
they tell the tourists.
565
00:30:43,512 --> 00:30:44,847
(CLASS LAUGHS)
566
00:30:46,766 --> 00:30:48,267
(CLASS LAUGH ING)
567
00:30:54,648 --> 00:30:56,150
Can I get a drink of water?
568
00:30:56,442 --> 00:30:58,402
Uh, yes, you may,
but please hurry back.
569
00:30:58,694 --> 00:31:01,572
I've got a great slide
of the Rotary Club
coming straight up.
570
00:31:01,864 --> 00:31:03,032
STUDENT: (SARCASTICALLY)
Oh, great.
571
00:31:34,438 --> 00:31:36,315
Hey, pumpkinhead!
572
00:31:36,607 --> 00:31:38,943
You're gonna wish
you never said that!
573
00:31:39,235 --> 00:31:40,736
Oh, yeah?
(GASPS)
574
00:31:42,029 --> 00:31:43,531
(SCREAMS)
575
00:31:49,495 --> 00:31:51,247
So, what exactly happened?
576
00:31:51,539 --> 00:31:53,165
I was using the fire hose.
577
00:31:53,666 --> 00:31:54,583
Uh-huh.
578
00:31:54,875 --> 00:31:57,169
And why were you doing this?
579
00:31:57,461 --> 00:32:00,548
I told you, a fire had
broken out and I was
trying to save the school.
580
00:32:00,840 --> 00:32:01,841
(SIGHS)
581
00:32:03,509 --> 00:32:04,844
Junior, what happened?
582
00:32:05,761 --> 00:32:07,680
Your son saved the school.
583
00:32:07,972 --> 00:32:09,140
He put out a fire.
584
00:32:09,432 --> 00:32:10,474
Ah!
585
00:32:10,766 --> 00:32:13,644
Did anyone ask him how it
started, because...
586
00:32:15,813 --> 00:32:17,273
Oh, I'm so sorry.
587
00:32:17,565 --> 00:32:19,442
That's very clumsy of me.
It's okay.
588
00:32:19,733 --> 00:32:20,860
Um, listen.
589
00:32:22,903 --> 00:32:26,407
If Junior seems a little
troublesome lately,
590
00:32:26,699 --> 00:32:27,783
I wouldn't worry
about it a bit.
591
00:32:28,075 --> 00:32:30,244
I mean, he really hasn't
made any friends here yet,
592
00:32:30,536 --> 00:32:33,038
so he's probably, uh,
a little insecure.
593
00:32:33,956 --> 00:32:35,958
Boy, you really know kids.
594
00:32:38,502 --> 00:32:41,130
Um, Junior and I were gonna
get some dinner later,
595
00:32:41,422 --> 00:32:42,798
and I thought maybe,
596
00:32:43,090 --> 00:32:44,675
if you didn't have plans,
that you'd...
597
00:32:44,967 --> 00:32:47,219
(GULPS) Care to join us.
598
00:32:47,511 --> 00:32:50,181
Um, no, I can't.
599
00:32:50,473 --> 00:32:52,516
Oh, well...
(CLEARS THROAT)
600
00:32:52,808 --> 00:32:56,353
Maybe you and I could
do something Friday night.
601
00:32:57,104 --> 00:32:58,856
I'd like to, but no.
602
00:33:00,441 --> 00:33:02,318
Uh, Saturday?
603
00:33:02,610 --> 00:33:04,069
No, not any night.
604
00:33:05,237 --> 00:33:07,198
I've got a problem.
605
00:33:07,490 --> 00:33:09,200
Excuse me?
I can't go out with anyone.
606
00:33:09,492 --> 00:33:11,327
But, but, what if we just
had dinner and talked?
607
00:33:11,619 --> 00:33:14,622
Dad, didn't you hear the
lady? She's got a problem!
608
00:33:14,914 --> 00:33:17,082
Now, quit bugging her
and let's get out of here!
609
00:33:17,374 --> 00:33:19,043
Well, uh, we'd better go.
610
00:33:19,335 --> 00:33:20,711
Uh, anyway...
611
00:33:21,003 --> 00:33:23,672
(CLEARS THROAT) Uh,
it was nice talking
to you, Miss Young.
612
00:33:23,964 --> 00:33:25,674
Uh, Annie.
613
00:33:25,966 --> 00:33:28,886
It was nice talking
to you too,
Ben, and Junior.
614
00:33:31,222 --> 00:33:33,140
(BIRDS SQUEALING)
615
00:33:33,432 --> 00:33:35,100
"Can we go out
on Friday night?
616
00:33:35,392 --> 00:33:37,770
"Can we go out
Saturday night?
617
00:33:38,062 --> 00:33:39,855
"Oh, how about
Sunday night?"
618
00:33:40,147 --> 00:33:41,732
What's Dad's problem?
619
00:33:42,024 --> 00:33:44,068
Doesn't he have any pride?
620
00:33:44,360 --> 00:33:47,112
GIRLS: Lemonade!
Fresh-squeezed lemonade!
621
00:33:50,366 --> 00:33:53,202
Lemonade!
Fresh-squeezed lemonade!
622
00:33:54,036 --> 00:33:55,496
I'll have
some lemonade.
623
00:33:55,788 --> 00:33:58,040
Certainly!
That'll be two
dollars.
624
00:34:00,417 --> 00:34:02,169
But I've only got
a quarter.
625
00:34:02,461 --> 00:34:06,048
Then I guess you're going
thirsty, loser!
626
00:34:06,340 --> 00:34:10,761
Hey, Dolly, there's
no more lemonade.
Go back and fill it up.
627
00:34:11,053 --> 00:34:12,429
I'm not gonna fill it up.
628
00:34:12,721 --> 00:34:15,641
Why don't you
go fill it up?
I'm not gonna fill it up.
629
00:34:15,933 --> 00:34:17,977
Why don't you go
fill it up?
630
00:34:18,269 --> 00:34:21,772
Hey, Junior, why don't
you go back and fill it up?
631
00:34:22,064 --> 00:34:25,234
If you do the work, we
might give you a free glass.
632
00:34:25,526 --> 00:34:26,694
Hmm.
633
00:34:28,070 --> 00:34:30,239
Okay. I'll go fill it up.
634
00:34:42,001 --> 00:34:43,627
(LIQUID STREAMING IN)
635
00:34:56,557 --> 00:34:57,600
Oh!
636
00:35:15,951 --> 00:35:17,286
There you go, friends.
637
00:35:17,578 --> 00:35:20,122
Hey, you only
filled it halfway!
638
00:35:20,414 --> 00:35:21,624
I tried my best.
639
00:35:21,915 --> 00:35:23,125
Well, it's not good enough!
640
00:35:23,417 --> 00:35:26,086
Just for that, you don't
get your free glass.
641
00:35:26,378 --> 00:35:28,005
That's okay by me.
(GIGGLING)
642
00:35:30,633 --> 00:35:33,761
GIRLS: Lemonade!
Fresh-squeezed lemonade!
643
00:35:34,053 --> 00:35:37,514
Boy, oh, boy!
It sure is hot.
644
00:35:37,806 --> 00:35:39,975
I'm working up quite a
sweat out here.
645
00:35:40,267 --> 00:35:41,310
(EXHALES)
646
00:35:41,602 --> 00:35:45,898
Dolly, Madison, how about
a glass of lemonade, huh?
647
00:35:46,190 --> 00:35:48,692
Certainly! That'll
be two dollars.
648
00:35:48,984 --> 00:35:50,110
Two dollars?
649
00:35:50,402 --> 00:35:52,404
Two dollars for a glass
of lemonade, for me?
650
00:35:54,156 --> 00:35:55,532
Friggin' brats!
651
00:35:57,493 --> 00:35:58,619
Two dollars.
652
00:35:59,953 --> 00:36:01,497
All right, here you go.
653
00:36:04,958 --> 00:36:06,168
Ah!
654
00:36:17,930 --> 00:36:20,474
Mmm! Tangy!
655
00:36:21,642 --> 00:36:22,851
(LAUGH ING)
656
00:36:26,814 --> 00:36:28,649
Hey, Dad, what do you want
for dinner tonight?
657
00:36:28,941 --> 00:36:31,652
Macaroni and cheese
or fish sticks?
658
00:36:31,944 --> 00:36:35,489
Well, Junior, I'd say I'd
love to have the fish sticks
but I've got other plans.
659
00:36:35,781 --> 00:36:37,491
But I was making us dinner!
660
00:36:37,783 --> 00:36:40,661
I can see that, but I'm
going out to dinner with Emily
from down the street.
661
00:36:41,745 --> 00:36:43,455
Am I gonna get another
babysitter?
662
00:36:43,747 --> 00:36:45,874
No, don't be silly!
No more babysitters.
663
00:36:46,166 --> 00:36:48,085
For you, we got
something better!
664
00:36:48,377 --> 00:36:50,379
Grandpa!
Stick 'em! Stick 'em!
Stick 'em!
665
00:36:50,671 --> 00:36:53,716
Ah! They don't make
fighters like they used to.
666
00:36:54,007 --> 00:36:56,009
No, boy, nobody's hungry
anymore.
667
00:36:56,552 --> 00:36:57,594
See?
668
00:36:59,138 --> 00:37:01,306
Dad, don't go out on
another date.
669
00:37:01,598 --> 00:37:02,933
You already had one.
670
00:37:03,225 --> 00:37:04,810
Yeah, but it
didn't work out.
671
00:37:05,102 --> 00:37:07,646
Junior, how am I gonna
find us a new mom if
I don't keep looking?
672
00:37:07,938 --> 00:37:09,565
But we don't
need a new mom.
673
00:37:09,857 --> 00:37:12,109
Things were great
when it was just you and me.
674
00:37:12,401 --> 00:37:14,737
I mean, we already
got stuck with him.
675
00:37:15,028 --> 00:37:18,240
Junior, I'm going out on a
date tonight, okay?
676
00:37:19,575 --> 00:37:20,743
I'm going to go
get cleaned up.
677
00:37:21,034 --> 00:37:22,995
Let me know if you
hear the doorbell.
678
00:37:23,287 --> 00:37:25,831
Don't worry,
you'll hear it.
679
00:37:26,123 --> 00:37:27,708
(GET READY
PERFORMED BY THE TEMPTATIONS)
680
00:37:36,258 --> 00:37:37,676
I never met a girl
681
00:37:37,968 --> 00:37:40,971
Who makes me feel
the way that you do
682
00:37:41,263 --> 00:37:43,265
You're all right
683
00:37:43,557 --> 00:37:46,351
Whenever I'm asked
who makes my head reel
684
00:37:46,643 --> 00:37:49,938
I say that you do
You're out of sight
685
00:37:50,230 --> 00:37:54,276
So fee-fi-fo-fum
686
00:37:54,568 --> 00:37:57,988
Look out, baby,
'cause here I come
687
00:37:58,280 --> 00:38:00,657
And I'm bringing you
a love that's true
688
00:38:00,949 --> 00:38:05,120
So get ready,
so get ready
689
00:38:05,412 --> 00:38:07,790
I'm gonna try
to make you love me too
690
00:38:08,081 --> 00:38:10,876
So get ready,
so get ready
691
00:38:11,168 --> 00:38:12,753
Get ready
'cause here I come
692
00:38:13,045 --> 00:38:14,505
Get ready
'cause here I come
693
00:38:14,797 --> 00:38:16,590
I'm on my way
694
00:38:21,595 --> 00:38:22,971
Okay, girls!
695
00:38:25,057 --> 00:38:26,642
We've got work to do.
696
00:38:37,945 --> 00:38:38,987
(DOORBELL RINGS)
697
00:38:46,411 --> 00:38:48,330
Ah!
Ben!
698
00:38:48,622 --> 00:38:49,706
I'm sorry.
699
00:38:49,998 --> 00:38:53,836
I'm suddenly not
feeling very well.
700
00:38:54,127 --> 00:38:57,881
I think I just
caught that flu
701
00:38:58,173 --> 00:39:01,552
that's been going
around, okay?
702
00:39:01,844 --> 00:39:02,886
(EXCLAIMS)
703
00:39:14,314 --> 00:39:16,650
(SNICKERING)
704
00:39:16,942 --> 00:39:20,320
So, the little monster
screwed you over again, huh?
705
00:39:20,612 --> 00:39:21,405
(CHUCKLES)
706
00:39:21,697 --> 00:39:23,532
Maybe I was too
strong with him.
707
00:39:23,824 --> 00:39:27,077
Ever since I started dating
these women, he's become
so insecure.
708
00:39:27,369 --> 00:39:28,662
BIG BEN: Insecure?
709
00:39:28,954 --> 00:39:32,499
Little Benny's paranoid,
he's jealous, and he's
dangerous!
710
00:39:33,375 --> 00:39:35,252
What are you saying?
711
00:39:35,544 --> 00:39:38,505
I'm saying leave him
by the side of the road
and run!
712
00:39:38,797 --> 00:39:42,175
Dad, that's a cop-out.
The boy just wants to
know he's loved.
713
00:39:42,467 --> 00:39:45,929
I'm sure if I devote more
time to him, he'll be
better.
714
00:39:46,221 --> 00:39:48,432
JUNIOR: Finally,
Dad gets the point.
715
00:39:48,724 --> 00:39:50,517
Good-bye, ladies!
716
00:39:52,019 --> 00:39:53,437
(WHISTLING NONCHALANTLY)
717
00:39:57,649 --> 00:39:58,609
Hey, dog face!
718
00:40:00,068 --> 00:40:01,737
Ha! I knew you'd look.
719
00:40:04,907 --> 00:40:06,658
TEACHER: No running
in the hall!
720
00:40:10,412 --> 00:40:11,830
JUNIOR: Oh, darn!
721
00:40:12,122 --> 00:40:13,832
TRIXIE: Nah-nah-nah!
722
00:40:14,124 --> 00:40:15,459
You can't come in here!
723
00:40:18,879 --> 00:40:21,256
JUNIOR: The bitch must die!
724
00:40:30,390 --> 00:40:33,685
Oh, shoot! She
tricked me again.
725
00:40:33,977 --> 00:40:36,313
I wish I had half
the brains she does.
726
00:40:37,522 --> 00:40:39,816
Well, there's
always tomorrow.
727
00:40:41,151 --> 00:40:42,903
(DOOR OPENING)
728
00:40:43,195 --> 00:40:44,029
(DOOR CLOSING)
729
00:40:44,321 --> 00:40:45,864
That guy's pathetic.
730
00:40:46,949 --> 00:40:47,991
(GRUNTS)
731
00:40:49,743 --> 00:40:51,745
Ah-ha!
Ah!
732
00:40:52,037 --> 00:40:54,790
You're gonna wish
you'd never been born!
733
00:40:55,082 --> 00:40:56,792
Ooh, I'm really scared!
734
00:40:57,084 --> 00:41:00,337
I'm being threatened by
the Ty-D-Bol girl!
735
00:41:00,629 --> 00:41:02,506
Now, why have you
been bugging me?
736
00:41:02,798 --> 00:41:03,757
Mmm!
737
00:41:04,049 --> 00:41:07,427
I'll bug whoever I want.
This is my school!
738
00:41:07,719 --> 00:41:08,637
Says who?
739
00:41:08,929 --> 00:41:10,555
Me and my M-80.
740
00:41:12,474 --> 00:41:13,475
(GASPS)
741
00:41:15,268 --> 00:41:16,144
Ahhh!
742
00:41:16,436 --> 00:41:17,229
Ahhh!
(LAUGH ING MANIACALLY)
743
00:41:17,521 --> 00:41:18,814
You're insane!
744
00:41:20,691 --> 00:41:21,858
(FLUSH)
Let's get out of here!
745
00:41:22,401 --> 00:41:23,735
BOTH: Ahhh!
746
00:41:25,362 --> 00:41:27,030
(REAL WILD CHILD
PERFORMED BY IGGY POP)
747
00:41:27,322 --> 00:41:30,158
I'm just outta school
like I'm real, real cool
748
00:41:30,450 --> 00:41:31,576
Got to dance like a fool
749
00:41:31,868 --> 00:41:35,122
Got the message that
I've found me a wild one
750
00:41:35,414 --> 00:41:37,958
Out of my way! I can't hold
this one until recess!
751
00:41:39,876 --> 00:41:41,795
Gonna break it loose
752
00:41:42,087 --> 00:41:44,673
Oh, this is gonna
feel so good.
753
00:41:46,925 --> 00:41:47,926
(EXPLOSION)
754
00:41:52,305 --> 00:41:54,433
(SIGHS IN RELIEF)
755
00:41:54,725 --> 00:41:57,936
Clearance sale!
Big clearance sale!
756
00:41:58,228 --> 00:42:00,731
Well, well, well, what
do we got here?
757
00:42:01,023 --> 00:42:02,774
You girls selling your
daddy's old clothes?
758
00:42:03,066 --> 00:42:04,151
Huh? (CHUCKLES)
759
00:42:04,443 --> 00:42:06,153
Look at this!
760
00:42:06,445 --> 00:42:08,155
Silk shirt for a dime.
761
00:42:09,322 --> 00:42:11,366
And a suit for a quarter?
762
00:42:11,658 --> 00:42:13,035
You know,
I had one like this.
763
00:42:13,326 --> 00:42:14,661
I paid two grand for it. I...
764
00:42:15,829 --> 00:42:17,205
Hey, wait a minute.
765
00:42:17,497 --> 00:42:20,292
Wait a... Nippy!
766
00:42:20,584 --> 00:42:23,045
Nippy, what the hell
are you doing here?
(DOG BARKING)
767
00:42:24,296 --> 00:42:26,048
They're selling you
for a nickel!
768
00:42:27,466 --> 00:42:28,592
You little crooks!
769
00:42:28,884 --> 00:42:30,010
Where'd you get this stuff?
770
00:42:30,302 --> 00:42:32,095
We have wholesalers.
771
00:42:32,387 --> 00:42:35,057
The hell you do.
This is all mine!
772
00:42:35,348 --> 00:42:36,308
No, it's not!
773
00:42:36,600 --> 00:42:39,561
Junior sold us
the whole package
for $10!
774
00:42:39,853 --> 00:42:42,481
He did, did he? Well,
we'll see about that!
775
00:42:43,565 --> 00:42:46,401
Ah, finally I get
some room in here.
776
00:42:47,069 --> 00:42:48,612
You little psycho!
777
00:42:48,904 --> 00:42:50,906
This time you've
gone too far!
778
00:42:51,198 --> 00:42:52,657
Eh, shut your trap!
779
00:42:52,949 --> 00:42:56,578
You're an evil boy and
you've gotta learn to
respect your elders.
780
00:42:56,870 --> 00:43:00,624
If your old man won't
teach you some manners,
by God, I will!
781
00:43:00,916 --> 00:43:02,375
Oh, yeah?
782
00:43:02,667 --> 00:43:04,044
We'll see about that!
783
00:43:05,253 --> 00:43:06,546
(GRUNTING)
784
00:43:10,675 --> 00:43:12,302
"Huh, huh, huh"
my ass!
785
00:43:13,512 --> 00:43:14,596
Whoa!
786
00:43:14,888 --> 00:43:16,473
Ahhh!
(JUNIOR LAUGHS)
787
00:43:18,975 --> 00:43:21,144
BEN: Hey, buddy!
You ready to go?
788
00:43:21,436 --> 00:43:22,938
Sure, but where?
789
00:43:23,230 --> 00:43:25,690
It's a surprise. I've
got a whole fun day
planned for us, come on.
790
00:43:25,982 --> 00:43:27,359
All right, let's go!
791
00:43:30,612 --> 00:43:32,948
Junior, have you seen
your grandfather lately?
792
00:43:33,240 --> 00:43:35,325
Last time I saw him,
he was going out.
793
00:43:38,078 --> 00:43:40,247
Ben! Little Ben!
794
00:43:41,498 --> 00:43:42,749
Help, Little Ben.
795
00:43:43,875 --> 00:43:45,085
Help me!
796
00:43:45,377 --> 00:43:47,337
Whoa, oh, oh, oh!
797
00:43:47,629 --> 00:43:48,839
(GROANING)
798
00:44:07,232 --> 00:44:08,191
(GRUNTING)
799
00:44:09,526 --> 00:44:12,737
Benjamin Healy,
time to meet your future.
800
00:44:14,739 --> 00:44:17,325
Help me!
Help me!
801
00:44:17,617 --> 00:44:18,994
What is that man doing?
802
00:44:19,786 --> 00:44:21,454
I'm Big Ben Healy.
803
00:44:21,746 --> 00:44:22,789
I live here!
804
00:44:23,081 --> 00:44:24,332
You live in that tree?
805
00:44:24,624 --> 00:44:25,500
(CHUCKLES)
806
00:44:25,792 --> 00:44:27,252
Maybe he's Ben Healy's
father.
807
00:44:27,544 --> 00:44:29,254
Shut up! I knew that.
808
00:44:29,546 --> 00:44:31,631
Now move it!
Get him down from there.
809
00:44:34,342 --> 00:44:36,428
Whoa! Ah!
810
00:44:36,720 --> 00:44:37,596
(CLANGING)
811
00:44:37,888 --> 00:44:39,306
Whoa!
(JUNIOR CHEERING)
812
00:44:40,432 --> 00:44:41,308
All right!
813
00:44:41,600 --> 00:44:43,351
Hey, Junior, this is for you.
814
00:44:43,643 --> 00:44:45,395
Thanks, Dad.
You're welcome.
815
00:44:45,687 --> 00:44:47,063
This is great.
816
00:44:47,355 --> 00:44:50,817
First it's a water park,
then a ball game, and now
it's a carnival.
817
00:44:51,109 --> 00:44:54,487
Well, buddy, I just realized
that you and I haven't been
spending enough time together.
818
00:44:54,779 --> 00:44:56,740
Dad, I'm glad it's
just you and me.
819
00:44:57,032 --> 00:44:57,991
Yeah.
820
00:44:58,283 --> 00:45:00,202
Wow! Look at
that cool ride!
821
00:45:00,493 --> 00:45:01,995
(PEOPLE CHEERING)
822
00:45:04,331 --> 00:45:06,541
Can I go on it?
Sure, pal, that's
why we're here.
823
00:45:08,376 --> 00:45:10,045
MAN: This ride is over!
824
00:45:15,175 --> 00:45:18,094
Whoa, slow down, dude,
you can't go on this ride.
825
00:45:18,386 --> 00:45:19,471
Why not?
826
00:45:19,763 --> 00:45:21,598
'Cause you've gotta be
as tall as the tentacle.
827
00:45:26,603 --> 00:45:28,813
But it's only a millimeter!
828
00:45:29,105 --> 00:45:30,941
Get out of here!
You're holding up my line.
829
00:45:32,817 --> 00:45:34,069
Thanks a lot.
830
00:45:35,904 --> 00:45:38,031
Oh, I'm sorry, Junior.
Maybe next year.
831
00:45:38,323 --> 00:45:40,533
Look, you wanna go
on the munchkin ride?
832
00:45:41,743 --> 00:45:44,412
No munchkin ride,
okay. Um...
833
00:45:44,704 --> 00:45:47,415
Hey, how about a candy apple?
Would you like a candy apple?
834
00:45:47,707 --> 00:45:48,875
I'll be right back.
835
00:45:50,961 --> 00:45:55,382
Aw! The little baby
couldn't get on the ride?
836
00:45:56,174 --> 00:45:57,634
What's the matter?
837
00:45:57,926 --> 00:46:01,221
They afraid you'll go
pee-pee in your diapers?
838
00:46:02,472 --> 00:46:03,390
(LAUGHS)
839
00:46:05,100 --> 00:46:06,101
(GRUNTS)
840
00:46:08,853 --> 00:46:10,689
MAN: Hey, you little creep!
841
00:46:12,774 --> 00:46:14,609
Hey, shrimp!
842
00:46:14,901 --> 00:46:17,821
It must be tough
being a little shrimp boat!
843
00:46:18,113 --> 00:46:19,531
(LAUGHS)
MAN: Tickets.
844
00:46:21,241 --> 00:46:22,158
(GASPS)
845
00:46:26,955 --> 00:46:28,290
(LAUGHS)
846
00:46:31,334 --> 00:46:34,421
Are you ready for fun?
847
00:46:35,046 --> 00:46:37,757
ALL: Yes!
848
00:46:38,049 --> 00:46:42,220
Yeah? Well, you'd better
hang on tight because
you're about to experience
849
00:46:42,512 --> 00:46:44,973
the Crazy Dance!
850
00:46:46,349 --> 00:46:47,892
(CROWD CHEERING)
851
00:47:12,792 --> 00:47:14,336
This is pansy speed.
852
00:47:14,627 --> 00:47:16,296
Come on. Pump it up!
Pump it up! Pump it up!
853
00:47:17,422 --> 00:47:18,465
Whoo!
854
00:47:19,799 --> 00:47:22,886
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
855
00:47:29,309 --> 00:47:30,435
MURPH: Whoo!
856
00:47:44,574 --> 00:47:46,076
(ALL SCREAM ING)
857
00:47:50,872 --> 00:47:52,290
Ahhh!
858
00:48:05,345 --> 00:48:06,846
TRIXIE: I'm gonna puke!
859
00:48:10,016 --> 00:48:12,060
I'm gonna barf!
I'm gonna barf!
860
00:48:39,671 --> 00:48:40,797
Oh, please, no.
861
00:48:51,850 --> 00:48:53,059
Whoa!
862
00:49:30,430 --> 00:49:32,724
Junior, why do you do
these things to me?
863
00:49:33,016 --> 00:49:34,976
I thought we moved
here to start over.
864
00:49:35,268 --> 00:49:36,895
People told me you were
a problem child.
865
00:49:37,187 --> 00:49:38,146
I said they were wrong.
866
00:49:38,438 --> 00:49:41,983
I said, you just needed
a chance to succeed.
867
00:49:42,275 --> 00:49:44,944
We don't have a normal
life, especially me.
868
00:49:45,236 --> 00:49:48,490
I can't even go out on a
date without something
terrible happening.
869
00:49:48,781 --> 00:49:50,158
Well, maybe you
shouldn't go out.
870
00:49:50,450 --> 00:49:54,412
Junior, just because
I interact with another
human being,
871
00:49:54,704 --> 00:49:57,790
doesn't mean that I love
you any less. Can't you
see that?
872
00:49:59,459 --> 00:50:00,793
Well, I suppose.
873
00:50:01,085 --> 00:50:02,504
Suppo... All right,
that's a start.
874
00:50:02,795 --> 00:50:04,881
That's fine, we can
build on that.
875
00:50:05,173 --> 00:50:06,799
I'll tell you what.
I'll make you a deal.
876
00:50:07,091 --> 00:50:09,928
I promise you that I'll
always be there for you,
877
00:50:10,220 --> 00:50:13,264
but you've gotta promise me
that you're going to be
good from now on.
878
00:50:13,556 --> 00:50:15,475
Okay, I promise.
See, that was
a little too fast.
879
00:50:15,767 --> 00:50:16,851
"Okay, I promise,"
you've got to
think about it.
880
00:50:17,143 --> 00:50:18,811
It's not just
an empty promise.
881
00:50:19,103 --> 00:50:21,773
This is a pact
between you and me
882
00:50:22,065 --> 00:50:25,568
to regain some of the trust
we used to have, okay?
883
00:50:25,860 --> 00:50:27,362
So what do you say?
884
00:50:27,654 --> 00:50:30,740
Are you gonna improve
so that I can be right
when I brag about you
885
00:50:31,032 --> 00:50:34,744
to all my friends and tell
them that I got the greatest
kid there ever was?
886
00:50:36,412 --> 00:50:37,789
Sure.
887
00:50:38,081 --> 00:50:39,415
I'll be better.
888
00:50:42,752 --> 00:50:44,003
That-a-boy.
889
00:50:57,475 --> 00:50:59,477
What happened
to our house?
890
00:51:00,895 --> 00:51:02,397
Surprise!
891
00:51:02,689 --> 00:51:04,607
Dad, what've you done?
Nothing!
892
00:51:04,899 --> 00:51:08,152
The credit for this miracle
goes to one special lady!
893
00:51:08,444 --> 00:51:09,404
Ha-ha!
894
00:51:09,696 --> 00:51:11,698
Ta-da! Ha-ha-ha.
895
00:51:13,199 --> 00:51:15,577
I don't understand.
Is she a maid?
896
00:51:15,868 --> 00:51:18,246
Yeah, "Maid to order"!
897
00:51:18,788 --> 00:51:20,456
(LAUGHS)
898
00:51:20,748 --> 00:51:25,670
Benjamin, it's such a
pleasure to have new blood
movin' into our town.
899
00:51:25,962 --> 00:51:28,548
On behalf of everyone
at Dumore Bank,
900
00:51:28,840 --> 00:51:31,676
Dumore Pharmaceuticals,
and Dumore Strip Mining,
901
00:51:31,968 --> 00:51:34,637
I just want to extend to you
this little old welcome.
902
00:51:35,847 --> 00:51:38,224
I'm Lawanda Dumore.
903
00:51:38,516 --> 00:51:41,436
(STUTTERING) You did all this
because I opened up a checking
account?
904
00:51:41,728 --> 00:51:44,188
Oh, well, you're a very
special customer.
905
00:51:44,480 --> 00:51:45,565
(CLATTERING)
906
00:51:46,190 --> 00:51:47,233
JUNIOR: Oops!
907
00:51:48,735 --> 00:51:49,902
BEN: Oh, Junior!
908
00:51:50,194 --> 00:51:52,155
Oh, that's all right.
It's only dirt.
909
00:51:52,447 --> 00:51:54,073
I'll have that
up in a jiffy.
910
00:51:54,782 --> 00:51:55,783
(WHIRRING)
911
00:51:59,495 --> 00:52:00,496
(BIG BEN CHUCKLING)
912
00:52:01,831 --> 00:52:04,500
I'm sorry. Junior can be
a little clumsy at times.
913
00:52:04,792 --> 00:52:06,961
Oh, ho, that's all right.
914
00:52:07,253 --> 00:52:09,505
Why, without compassion
and understanding,
915
00:52:09,797 --> 00:52:11,466
what kind of world
would we be living in?
916
00:52:12,800 --> 00:52:14,302
Right, sweetie?
917
00:52:14,594 --> 00:52:16,763
Just try to
pull one stunt,
918
00:52:17,055 --> 00:52:20,016
and I'll cut you off at the
knees and bury you alive.
919
00:52:22,977 --> 00:52:24,771
She's an incredible woman.
920
00:52:25,063 --> 00:52:26,898
Yeah, you haven't
heard the best part.
921
00:52:27,190 --> 00:52:29,317
She's worth $50 million.
922
00:52:29,609 --> 00:52:30,568
Ho, ho, ho, ho.
923
00:52:33,196 --> 00:52:34,489
LAWANDA: I am so sorry.
924
00:52:34,781 --> 00:52:37,325
I just completely lost
track of the time.
925
00:52:38,076 --> 00:52:39,786
I've gotta run.
926
00:52:40,078 --> 00:52:43,956
I've got a meeting with
some cockamamie shareholder
grievance committee.
927
00:52:44,248 --> 00:52:47,126
But we should get together
for dinner real soon.
928
00:52:47,418 --> 00:52:49,671
I could cook us up
something special.
929
00:52:49,962 --> 00:52:52,048
Well, sure, that
would be nice,
Miss Dumore.
930
00:52:52,340 --> 00:52:55,551
Oh, no. Lawanda.
931
00:52:55,843 --> 00:52:57,303
Lawanda.
932
00:52:57,595 --> 00:52:58,554
(CLEARS THROAT)
933
00:52:59,347 --> 00:53:00,682
(MUMBLING) Go on.
934
00:53:05,019 --> 00:53:06,020
Bye-bye!
935
00:53:12,610 --> 00:53:17,240
5-0-0-0-0-0-0-ooh!
Ooh!
936
00:53:17,532 --> 00:53:18,491
(LAUGHS)
937
00:53:18,783 --> 00:53:19,784
50 million!
938
00:53:32,463 --> 00:53:34,132
Lawanda, it smells
so great in there.
939
00:53:34,424 --> 00:53:35,383
You sure you don't
need any help?
940
00:53:35,675 --> 00:53:37,927
Oh, no, Benjamin.
941
00:53:38,219 --> 00:53:40,555
You just stay
down here and relax.
942
00:53:40,847 --> 00:53:42,515
I'm taking care of
everything.
943
00:53:42,807 --> 00:53:43,891
Okay.
944
00:53:49,605 --> 00:53:53,067
JUNIOR: I know I promised Dad
I wouldn't hurt Lawanda.
945
00:53:53,359 --> 00:53:55,486
But I never said the dog
couldn't.
946
00:54:02,201 --> 00:54:04,454
You're falling into a
trance.
947
00:54:04,746 --> 00:54:06,789
Your eyes are getting heavy.
948
00:54:07,081 --> 00:54:09,542
You can't move a muscle.
949
00:54:09,834 --> 00:54:13,379
When you wake up, you'll be
thinking of one thing,
950
00:54:13,671 --> 00:54:15,381
destroy Lawanda.
951
00:54:16,215 --> 00:54:17,967
She is your enemy.
952
00:54:18,259 --> 00:54:21,179
She is like a cat, but uglier.
953
00:54:21,471 --> 00:54:23,431
(DOG WHINING)
You want to bite her butt off
954
00:54:23,723 --> 00:54:26,934
and scare her away,
so she'll never come back.
955
00:54:27,727 --> 00:54:29,479
When I clap my hands,
956
00:54:29,771 --> 00:54:33,399
you'll come out of the
trance and do whatever I say.
957
00:54:34,567 --> 00:54:35,693
One...
958
00:54:36,360 --> 00:54:37,612
Two...
959
00:54:37,904 --> 00:54:38,905
Three...
960
00:54:41,741 --> 00:54:44,535
One, two, three.
961
00:54:48,247 --> 00:54:49,207
Nippy?
962
00:54:50,208 --> 00:54:51,125
Nippy?
963
00:54:51,417 --> 00:54:52,794
Hey, Nip, come on.
964
00:54:53,085 --> 00:54:54,837
Uh-oh. Nippy?
BIG BEN: Nippy?
965
00:54:56,589 --> 00:54:58,007
Nippy, where are ya?
966
00:54:58,883 --> 00:54:59,884
(WHISTLING)
967
00:55:02,804 --> 00:55:04,096
(SQUEALING)
968
00:55:12,271 --> 00:55:13,439
What have you been up to?
969
00:55:13,731 --> 00:55:16,400
None of your business.
You're not my mother.
970
00:55:16,692 --> 00:55:18,903
You are a mean little boy.
971
00:55:19,195 --> 00:55:21,656
Now go on up to your room
and change your clothes.
972
00:55:21,948 --> 00:55:24,826
I will not have
an unkempt boy
at my table.
973
00:55:25,117 --> 00:55:26,160
Your table?
974
00:55:26,911 --> 00:55:28,037
Get!
Ah!
975
00:55:33,584 --> 00:55:34,627
(SQUISHING)
976
00:55:34,919 --> 00:55:36,045
(GASPS)
977
00:55:38,256 --> 00:55:39,340
Clowns!
978
00:55:40,591 --> 00:55:42,969
I hate clowns!
979
00:55:44,512 --> 00:55:47,849
This woman is
bustin' my balls!
980
00:55:49,308 --> 00:55:52,395
Hey, guys, what are you
doing for dinner tonight?
981
00:55:58,109 --> 00:56:01,529
I would like to make a toast
to a terrific lady,
982
00:56:01,821 --> 00:56:04,866
who has made us feel
so welcome in our new town,
983
00:56:05,157 --> 00:56:06,367
who has fixed up our house,
984
00:56:06,659 --> 00:56:09,078
and cooked us this
incredible feast.
985
00:56:09,370 --> 00:56:11,122
BIG BEN: Here, here!
To Lawanda.
986
00:56:11,414 --> 00:56:13,207
BIG BEN: To Lawanda.
To Lawanda.
987
00:56:13,624 --> 00:56:14,542
Hmm!
988
00:56:15,293 --> 00:56:17,295
That is so sweet.
989
00:56:17,587 --> 00:56:19,714
Well, I hope
y'all enjoy this.
990
00:56:20,006 --> 00:56:22,884
I had my staff compile
their favorite recipes.
991
00:56:23,175 --> 00:56:24,802
BIG BEN: Well, I,
for one, am famished.
992
00:56:25,094 --> 00:56:26,596
So let's eat, huh.
993
00:56:26,888 --> 00:56:28,055
(CHUCKLING)
994
00:56:28,723 --> 00:56:29,807
Yeah.
995
00:56:37,023 --> 00:56:38,149
(SIGHS)
996
00:56:52,663 --> 00:56:56,709
What in the hell
is in this salad?
997
00:56:57,001 --> 00:56:58,461
It's blue cheese.
998
00:57:02,381 --> 00:57:03,966
BIG BEN: Oh, my God!
999
00:57:05,468 --> 00:57:08,429
All right. Come on.
Get Lawanda! Ha-ha!
1000
00:57:09,055 --> 00:57:10,139
Oh!
1001
00:57:12,141 --> 00:57:14,602
This salad is infested!
1002
00:57:14,894 --> 00:57:16,020
(LAWANDA SHRIEKING)
1003
00:57:16,312 --> 00:57:17,229
Oh, my God!
1004
00:57:17,521 --> 00:57:18,648
(LAUGHS)
1005
00:57:20,107 --> 00:57:21,525
Get it, get it!
1006
00:57:23,235 --> 00:57:24,737
BEN: This is a plague!
1007
00:57:27,114 --> 00:57:28,282
Yeah!
1008
00:57:28,574 --> 00:57:29,408
All right!
1009
00:57:32,703 --> 00:57:33,788
BEN: Lawanda, I'm coming!
1010
00:57:36,874 --> 00:57:38,167
(SCREAMING)
1011
00:57:53,766 --> 00:57:54,809
BEN: Junior, you failed me.
1012
00:57:55,101 --> 00:57:57,853
But, Dad, I swear,
she hates me.
1013
00:57:58,145 --> 00:58:00,606
We had a deal,
and you let me down.
1014
00:58:00,898 --> 00:58:02,608
She's different from
all the others.
1015
00:58:02,900 --> 00:58:04,944
Lawanda is bad.
1016
00:58:05,236 --> 00:58:07,405
Junior, you think
all women are bad.
1017
00:58:07,697 --> 00:58:09,448
That poor woman has nothing
but good intentions.
1018
00:58:09,740 --> 00:58:13,035
She made us dinner tonight and
this is how you pay her back?
1019
00:58:13,327 --> 00:58:15,538
I am really
disappointed in you.
1020
00:58:15,830 --> 00:58:18,082
I don't think I'll ever
be able to trust you again.
1021
00:58:19,583 --> 00:58:20,626
(SIGHS)
1022
00:58:27,425 --> 00:58:30,219
Benjamin, I hope you
weren't too harsh on him.
1023
00:58:30,511 --> 00:58:31,929
I think I've failed
as a father.
1024
00:58:32,221 --> 00:58:34,682
Oh, no, not at all.
1025
00:58:34,974 --> 00:58:37,601
There's just only so much
you can handle.
1026
00:58:37,893 --> 00:58:40,146
A father's good
for some things,
1027
00:58:40,438 --> 00:58:43,149
but you need a mother
for emotional guidance.
1028
00:58:43,441 --> 00:58:45,901
Values. Morality.
1029
00:58:47,194 --> 00:58:50,281
Perhaps I should
talk to the boy.
1030
00:58:50,573 --> 00:58:53,075
Well, yeah, that might be...
Good.
1031
00:58:57,496 --> 00:58:59,623
Listen here,
you little monster.
1032
00:59:00,583 --> 00:59:02,501
I am mightier than you are.
1033
00:59:02,793 --> 00:59:06,464
And I always get
what I want, so back off.
1034
00:59:06,756 --> 00:59:10,760
Because whether you like it or
not, I am gonna marry your
daddy.
1035
00:59:11,677 --> 00:59:13,054
And when I do,
1036
00:59:13,345 --> 00:59:15,473
you're gonna be on the
first plane to boarding
school...
1037
00:59:16,098 --> 00:59:17,433
In Baghdad!
1038
00:59:18,726 --> 00:59:21,103
Dad, you gotta believe me.
She said Baghdad!
1039
00:59:21,395 --> 00:59:24,356
Forget it, Junior.
You have no
credibility anymore.
1040
00:59:24,648 --> 00:59:27,985
Now let's just see if we
can get through this evening
like a normal family,
1041
00:59:28,277 --> 00:59:30,613
without anything bizarre
happening, okay?
1042
00:59:31,155 --> 00:59:32,114
Come on.
1043
00:59:32,406 --> 00:59:33,908
Come here,
look at the chart.
1044
00:59:34,200 --> 00:59:36,786
I got 15 gold stars
this semester.
1045
00:59:38,412 --> 00:59:40,623
So, do you have anything
nice to show me?
1046
00:59:40,915 --> 00:59:43,751
Sure, just the usual stuff.
There's my desk.
1047
00:59:51,801 --> 00:59:54,053
And here's my science
project.
1048
00:59:54,345 --> 00:59:55,763
I'm innocent!
I'm innocent!
1049
00:59:56,055 --> 00:59:57,098
(GURGLING)
1050
00:59:57,389 --> 00:59:58,265
(CHUCKLES)
1051
01:00:00,017 --> 01:00:02,019
Oh, and there's my teacher,
Mr. Thorn.
1052
01:00:02,311 --> 01:00:03,938
Mom, this is Mr. Thorn.
1053
01:00:04,230 --> 01:00:06,899
She's doing very well.
Awfully good.
1054
01:00:07,191 --> 01:00:08,484
MR. PEABODY: Attention,
parents.
1055
01:00:08,776 --> 01:00:11,445
Please take your seats
for tonight's special
program,
1056
01:00:11,737 --> 01:00:13,280
"Salute to Democracy."
1057
01:00:13,572 --> 01:00:16,283
Because, you know, it's
like democracy and
we're saluting it.
1058
01:00:17,159 --> 01:00:18,661
(PIANO PLAYING)
1059
01:00:21,831 --> 01:00:23,207
(CROWD APPLAUDING)
1060
01:00:31,757 --> 01:00:34,218
Hello, Sam.
Hello, Baldy.
1061
01:00:34,510 --> 01:00:37,054
Sure is great to see all those
parents out there tonight.
1062
01:00:37,346 --> 01:00:38,389
It sure is.
1063
01:00:38,681 --> 01:00:39,598
(SQUAWKING)
1064
01:00:39,890 --> 01:00:41,142
You can't do that to me!
1065
01:00:41,433 --> 01:00:42,434
(SQUABBLING)
1066
01:00:42,726 --> 01:00:43,602
What are ya...
1067
01:00:43,894 --> 01:00:44,770
Oh! What are you...
1068
01:00:45,062 --> 01:00:46,313
Oh, oh!
1069
01:00:49,692 --> 01:00:53,612
JUNIOR: Sorry about the delay,
folks, but we are experiencing
technical difficulties.
1070
01:00:53,904 --> 01:00:56,240
TRIXIE: Yeah, I had to
scratch my balls.
1071
01:00:57,700 --> 01:00:59,076
(LAUGH ING)
1072
01:00:59,368 --> 01:01:01,328
JUNIOR: Hey, I didn't
know eagles had balls.
Oh, my God.
1073
01:01:01,620 --> 01:01:03,122
TRIXIE: Yeah, I'm a
"ball eagle."
Excuse me.
1074
01:01:03,414 --> 01:01:06,167
JUNIOR: Hey, did you know I
can fart The Star-Spangled
Banner?
1075
01:01:06,458 --> 01:01:08,043
TRIXIE: Really? Okay.
1076
01:01:08,627 --> 01:01:09,879
Junior, no!
1077
01:01:11,672 --> 01:01:13,549
Ahhh!
(SCREAMS)
1078
01:01:17,469 --> 01:01:18,596
Who are you?
1079
01:01:18,888 --> 01:01:20,347
Who the hell are you?
1080
01:01:21,473 --> 01:01:22,933
Trixie!
1081
01:01:23,225 --> 01:01:25,102
Trixie, I can't leave you
alone for 10 minutes.
1082
01:01:25,394 --> 01:01:27,730
Why did you do this?
Mom!
1083
01:01:28,022 --> 01:01:32,610
But, Mom, those kids won't
let me be part of the puppet
show.
1084
01:01:33,569 --> 01:01:35,696
That's no excuse for...
1085
01:01:35,988 --> 01:01:37,948
Come on. We are
going right now.
1086
01:01:42,453 --> 01:01:43,704
Great show, huh, Dad?
1087
01:01:43,996 --> 01:01:45,706
I was saving you a seat.
1088
01:01:46,248 --> 01:01:47,166
(GRUNTS)
1089
01:01:48,417 --> 01:01:49,460
Annie?
1090
01:01:50,211 --> 01:01:51,295
Annie!
1091
01:01:51,879 --> 01:01:53,088
Nurse!
1092
01:01:54,840 --> 01:01:58,010
Hey, hang on! Wait!
1093
01:01:58,302 --> 01:02:01,180
Look, Annie,
will you wait?
1094
01:02:01,472 --> 01:02:03,974
Look, I understand completely
what you're going through.
1095
01:02:04,266 --> 01:02:05,476
You couldn't possibly.
1096
01:02:05,768 --> 01:02:07,937
Well, I do, believe me,
you know, we could
help each other.
1097
01:02:08,229 --> 01:02:09,355
Just forget it.
1098
01:02:09,647 --> 01:02:12,274
Trixie consumes my
entire life, I mean...
1099
01:02:12,566 --> 01:02:14,526
I don't have room for
anything else.
1100
01:02:26,830 --> 01:02:29,583
JUNIOR: Boy, that girl
sure showed them.
1101
01:02:29,875 --> 01:02:34,296
Who would've thought
that sweet nurse would
have such a crazy daughter?
1102
01:02:36,215 --> 01:02:39,009
BEN: What a mess.
I have to get Junior a mother.
1103
01:02:39,301 --> 01:02:43,347
Annie would be perfect.
She's smart and sweet
and pretty and loving.
1104
01:02:43,639 --> 01:02:46,475
And it would be great
to have a nurse on call
24 hours a day.
1105
01:02:48,227 --> 01:02:50,771
On the other hand,
Lawanda will go out with me.
1106
01:02:54,608 --> 01:02:57,695
BIG BEN: Oh, God, please let
him marry that rich broad.
1107
01:02:58,988 --> 01:03:00,614
'Cause I really
need the money.
1108
01:03:01,824 --> 01:03:02,825
(SIGH ING)
1109
01:03:03,117 --> 01:03:05,035
Oh, I gotta get
out of this house.
1110
01:03:05,327 --> 01:03:06,870
My son's a loser,
1111
01:03:07,162 --> 01:03:09,123
my dog is vanished,
1112
01:03:09,415 --> 01:03:12,084
and that punk Junior
is the devil come to life.
1113
01:03:17,214 --> 01:03:19,341
Nippy! You've come back!
1114
01:03:20,551 --> 01:03:23,137
And I thought you
abandoned me.
1115
01:03:24,471 --> 01:03:26,181
I should have known better.
1116
01:03:26,974 --> 01:03:28,642
(CHUCKLES)
1117
01:03:28,934 --> 01:03:32,563
Because you'll always stand
by my side, won't ya, huh?
1118
01:03:33,188 --> 01:03:34,773
(CHUCKLES)
1119
01:03:35,065 --> 01:03:37,568
Yeah, you're my one
true friend.
1120
01:03:42,990 --> 01:03:45,951
Nippy, what the hell
happened to you?
1121
01:03:55,794 --> 01:03:58,255
I'm... I'm losing
my mind.
1122
01:03:58,547 --> 01:04:00,090
Junior's getting worse.
1123
01:04:00,382 --> 01:04:02,885
We can't even figure out
what he did to that dog.
1124
01:04:03,177 --> 01:04:06,180
Benjamin, I'm gonna
be blunt.
1125
01:04:06,472 --> 01:04:08,557
Your child is in
a state of emergency.
1126
01:04:08,849 --> 01:04:09,808
But I'm doing my best.
1127
01:04:10,100 --> 01:04:12,895
Oh, Benjamin, it is
not your fault.
1128
01:04:13,187 --> 01:04:18,025
You're a fine man,
but one lone individual
1129
01:04:18,317 --> 01:04:21,111
just cannot do this job.
1130
01:04:21,403 --> 01:04:24,281
Your child needs two
parental figures.
1131
01:04:26,575 --> 01:04:28,535
(GULPING) Lawanda.
1132
01:04:28,827 --> 01:04:29,828
Yes?
1133
01:04:35,167 --> 01:04:37,086
I'd like to ask you
a question.
1134
01:04:40,381 --> 01:04:42,800
Junior.
Hey, Dad, what's up?
1135
01:04:43,092 --> 01:04:44,843
I've got some family news
for you.
1136
01:04:45,135 --> 01:04:46,720
What, is Big Ben moving out?
1137
01:04:47,012 --> 01:04:48,013
No, no, I'm not talking...
1138
01:04:48,305 --> 01:04:50,307
Junior, listen to me.
This is important. I, uh...
1139
01:04:51,725 --> 01:04:53,560
(CLEARS THROAT) I've
made a decision.
1140
01:04:53,852 --> 01:04:56,146
I'm, I'm going to
marry Lawanda.
1141
01:04:56,438 --> 01:04:57,731
But, Dad, she hates me!
1142
01:04:58,023 --> 01:05:00,526
She doesn't hate...
That's ridiculous. Look.
1143
01:05:00,818 --> 01:05:02,945
She wants what's
best for you.
1144
01:05:03,237 --> 01:05:04,738
She wants to make us a home.
1145
01:05:05,030 --> 01:05:07,783
But, Dad, she's gonna
destroy everything.
1146
01:05:08,075 --> 01:05:10,244
Three men living together in a
house is, is a mess.
1147
01:05:10,536 --> 01:05:11,829
It's unnatural.
1148
01:05:12,121 --> 01:05:15,249
Plus, I feel she's a woman
of strong moral fiber.
1149
01:05:15,541 --> 01:05:18,127
She'll be a good influence
over us, especially you.
1150
01:05:18,419 --> 01:05:20,087
You're making a big
mistake!
1151
01:05:20,379 --> 01:05:22,965
I am a grown-up and I will do
anything I wanna do!
1152
01:05:23,257 --> 01:05:25,467
And on Saturday
I'm gonna marry Lawanda!
1153
01:05:25,759 --> 01:05:26,969
(HORN HONKING)
1154
01:05:28,220 --> 01:05:31,557
Benjamin, we got
a jillion things to do.
1155
01:05:31,849 --> 01:05:33,851
Caterers, invitations.
1156
01:05:34,143 --> 01:05:36,603
And a 1:00 appointment
for a blood test.
1157
01:05:36,895 --> 01:05:38,522
I'll be right there,
sweetheart.
1158
01:05:38,814 --> 01:05:41,066
Tell your grandpa I'll be
back in a couple of hours,
and then we'll talk.
1159
01:05:41,358 --> 01:05:42,276
Okay?
1160
01:06:05,007 --> 01:06:07,050
Excuse me, sonny, we're
from the animal control unit.
1161
01:06:07,342 --> 01:06:10,179
There's a local rabies
scare. We're lookin'
for any strange animals.
1162
01:06:10,471 --> 01:06:13,307
Well, Nippy has been acting
a little funny lately.
1163
01:06:13,599 --> 01:06:15,350
Hmm, you better
let us see him.
1164
01:06:16,101 --> 01:06:17,227
Okay.
1165
01:06:20,898 --> 01:06:23,108
Not now.
Come on.
1166
01:06:27,821 --> 01:06:28,864
Here you go.
1167
01:06:29,156 --> 01:06:29,990
What the hell happened here?
1168
01:06:30,282 --> 01:06:32,075
I don't know, but it
sure ain't rabies.
1169
01:06:32,367 --> 01:06:35,412
Nippy's lost his spunk.
Can you do anything for him?
1170
01:06:35,704 --> 01:06:36,580
Maybe.
1171
01:06:40,918 --> 01:06:42,503
What kind of diet has
this little guy been on?
1172
01:06:42,794 --> 01:06:45,380
Diet? We just feed
him table scraps.
1173
01:06:45,672 --> 01:06:46,632
Uh-huh!
1174
01:06:46,924 --> 01:06:48,133
Think we found
the problem.
1175
01:06:48,425 --> 01:06:50,719
Why don't you
come with us?
1176
01:06:51,011 --> 01:06:53,514
Time like this,
there's only one thing
you can count on.
1177
01:06:57,601 --> 01:06:59,353
Chow Down.
Chow Down?
1178
01:06:59,645 --> 01:07:01,188
That's right, sonny.
Chow Down.
1179
01:07:01,480 --> 01:07:04,233
Now in three delicious
flavors, beef, chicken
and horse.
1180
01:07:04,733 --> 01:07:06,026
Mmm-mmm!
1181
01:07:06,318 --> 01:07:08,278
Rich meaty flavor.
1182
01:07:08,570 --> 01:07:12,491
All simmered in a delicious
home-style gravy.
1183
01:07:12,783 --> 01:07:15,452
BOTH: Mmm.
What dog could resist?
1184
01:07:16,787 --> 01:07:18,539
Come and get it!
1185
01:07:19,790 --> 01:07:22,751
Wow! Look at him chow down!
1186
01:07:23,043 --> 01:07:25,921
You bet, and wait till you see
how shiny his coat gets.
1187
01:07:26,213 --> 01:07:27,214
(FLATULENCE)
1188
01:07:31,510 --> 01:07:33,053
Glad we could
be of assistance.
1189
01:07:33,345 --> 01:07:35,472
Come on, pal.
Let's get back to work.
1190
01:07:39,434 --> 01:07:41,603
Hey, what's in that
little black box?
1191
01:07:41,895 --> 01:07:43,730
Ah, you don't wanna
mess with that.
1192
01:07:44,022 --> 01:07:45,983
That's blood test
from a rabid dog.
1193
01:07:46,900 --> 01:07:50,737
Hmm. Blood tests, huh?
1194
01:07:51,029 --> 01:07:52,239
(DOG WHINING)
1195
01:07:52,531 --> 01:07:53,949
LAB TECHNICIAN: Healy,
Benjamin.
1196
01:07:54,783 --> 01:07:56,034
Looks fine to me.
1197
01:07:57,828 --> 01:07:59,454
And who's next?
1198
01:07:59,746 --> 01:08:01,498
Dumore, Lawanda.
1199
01:08:02,249 --> 01:08:03,500
Again.
1200
01:08:03,792 --> 01:08:04,751
Okay.
1201
01:08:08,714 --> 01:08:09,798
Whoa!
1202
01:08:13,802 --> 01:08:15,304
Hello, operator!
1203
01:08:15,596 --> 01:08:18,599
Give me the county health
department. No! This is an
emergency!
1204
01:08:21,018 --> 01:08:21,935
Oh!
1205
01:08:22,227 --> 01:08:24,104
WOMAN: It's darling,
Lawanda!
1206
01:08:24,396 --> 01:08:26,064
LAWANDA: Oh, my goodness!
1207
01:08:26,356 --> 01:08:29,776
You all are the best friends
a girl could ever have.
1208
01:08:30,068 --> 01:08:33,030
Oh, Lawanda, you're always
the most beautiful bride.
1209
01:08:33,322 --> 01:08:34,239
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
1210
01:08:37,326 --> 01:08:39,453
MAN: Excuse me, ma'am,
is Ms. Dumore here?
1211
01:08:39,745 --> 01:08:40,996
Oh, my Lord!
1212
01:08:41,288 --> 01:08:42,748
Somebody hired strippers!
1213
01:08:43,040 --> 01:08:44,458
(CROWD CHEERING)
1214
01:08:47,419 --> 01:08:48,795
You want me?
1215
01:08:51,715 --> 01:08:53,050
Come and get me.
1216
01:08:53,342 --> 01:08:55,594
She's already foamin'
at the mouth.
Better move fast.
1217
01:08:58,263 --> 01:08:59,765
Here we go.
It's gonna be all right.
1218
01:09:00,057 --> 01:09:01,850
You boys are playing rough!
Everything's going to be
all right.
1219
01:09:02,142 --> 01:09:03,310
What are you two doing?
1220
01:09:03,602 --> 01:09:05,812
From the county
board of health, ma'am.
You have rabies.
1221
01:09:06,104 --> 01:09:07,230
What?
1222
01:09:07,522 --> 01:09:09,274
You cannot do this to me.
1223
01:09:10,692 --> 01:09:13,904
I am rich! I am powerful!
1224
01:09:14,196 --> 01:09:16,782
I do not have rabies!
1225
01:09:18,200 --> 01:09:19,576
BEN: Lawanda?
1226
01:09:20,327 --> 01:09:22,287
How are you feeling?
1227
01:09:22,579 --> 01:09:23,789
How am I feelin'?
1228
01:09:24,081 --> 01:09:26,875
How am I feelin'?
I'm tied to a bed!
1229
01:09:27,167 --> 01:09:28,835
Well, maybe this picture
will cheer you up.
1230
01:09:32,798 --> 01:09:35,425
You know, I think maybe
this is a little too much
excitement for Lawanda.
1231
01:09:35,717 --> 01:09:37,719
Why don't we clear
the room? Give her
a little quiet time.
1232
01:09:38,011 --> 01:09:40,305
Okay, bye, Lawanda.
Come on, Dad, let's go.
1233
01:09:40,597 --> 01:09:43,100
No, sonny,
your dad means
we should go.
1234
01:09:44,267 --> 01:09:46,144
All of us. (WHISTLES)
1235
01:09:47,062 --> 01:09:48,647
Come on.
1236
01:09:48,939 --> 01:09:50,774
BIG BEN: Give the lovebirds
a chance to be alone, huh.
1237
01:09:51,066 --> 01:09:52,484
Here, sweetheart.
This might cheer you.
1238
01:09:52,776 --> 01:09:54,903
Oh, here, why don't I,
I'll put this over here.
1239
01:09:55,195 --> 01:09:56,905
You know, I talked
to Father Flanagan
1240
01:09:57,197 --> 01:09:59,366
and he said there's no need
to rush into these things.
1241
01:09:59,658 --> 01:10:01,576
I mean, if there's a problem,
we can push back the ceremony.
1242
01:10:01,868 --> 01:10:06,415
Benjamin, I do not
like being patronized!
1243
01:10:06,707 --> 01:10:09,209
I don't care if
we have to roll this
gurney down the aisle!
1244
01:10:10,919 --> 01:10:13,547
Tomorrow,
we are gettin' married.
1245
01:10:15,298 --> 01:10:19,594
Big Ben's Sporting Goods
is embarking on
a major expansion.
1246
01:10:19,886 --> 01:10:22,472
Yeah, we're about to come
into a huge cash infusion.
1247
01:10:23,223 --> 01:10:24,433
(CHUCKLES)
1248
01:10:25,809 --> 01:10:28,645
WOMAN: Please try and be
reasonable. Don't do it.
1249
01:10:28,937 --> 01:10:30,939
I swear you're
important to me.
1250
01:10:31,231 --> 01:10:32,399
MAN: I've made my decision!
1251
01:10:32,691 --> 01:10:35,819
When I die, I want
people to remember me.
1252
01:10:36,111 --> 01:10:38,613
And after tonight's
plastic surgery,
1253
01:10:38,905 --> 01:10:40,031
I'm gonna be someone,
1254
01:10:40,323 --> 01:10:43,577
because I'm gonna have
the biggest nose in the world.
1255
01:11:04,806 --> 01:11:06,850
(LOUD PARTY MUSIC PLAYING)
1256
01:11:14,065 --> 01:11:16,818
This place is awfully loud.
You sure you wanna eat here?
1257
01:11:17,110 --> 01:11:19,112
Of course. You know pizza's
my favorite food.
1258
01:11:19,404 --> 01:11:21,990
It is? Oh, fine.
1259
01:11:22,282 --> 01:11:25,118
Hello, uh, we'd like
a table for...
1260
01:11:26,328 --> 01:11:28,538
Annie?
Ben?
1261
01:11:32,626 --> 01:11:36,880
JUNIOR: Maybe I'm
gettin' soft, but I
just had the craziest idea.
1262
01:11:37,172 --> 01:11:38,340
(TRAIN WHISTLING)
1263
01:11:39,966 --> 01:11:41,301
(ANNIE GIGGLING)
1264
01:11:41,593 --> 01:11:43,929
So then Dad
dropped his pants
on live TV.
1265
01:11:44,221 --> 01:11:45,764
Of course, he
lost the election.
1266
01:11:46,056 --> 01:11:47,349
Here's a campaign picture.
1267
01:11:48,391 --> 01:11:49,643
What're you jerks doing?
1268
01:11:49,935 --> 01:11:52,687
I was supposed to have
dinner with my mom.
1269
01:11:52,979 --> 01:11:55,732
Quit yappin' and let
'em have a good time.
1270
01:11:56,024 --> 01:11:57,943
Everybody smile for your
complimentary photograph.
1271
01:11:58,235 --> 01:11:59,694
Say "Pizzariffic."
1272
01:12:03,698 --> 01:12:05,909
Smile for your
complimentary photograph.
1273
01:12:08,912 --> 01:12:10,497
Oh, boy, baby!
1274
01:12:10,789 --> 01:12:13,333
When you're with me,
it's first class
all the way.
1275
01:12:13,625 --> 01:12:16,461
You notice how we
went to the restaurant,
they let us right in?
1276
01:12:16,753 --> 01:12:17,629
We didn't have to wait.
1277
01:12:17,921 --> 01:12:19,422
It's not like the
restaurants you go to,
1278
01:12:19,714 --> 01:12:21,299
where you have to talk
into the clown's face.
1279
01:12:21,591 --> 01:12:22,759
It's not like that at all.
1280
01:12:23,051 --> 01:12:26,137
Later on, we'll go
home and I'll put
on the Zorro outfit.
1281
01:12:26,429 --> 01:12:27,681
Ha-ha!
1282
01:12:27,973 --> 01:12:31,309
Well, here's to an evening
we'll never forget.
1283
01:12:35,397 --> 01:12:36,773
It's them!
Who?
1284
01:12:37,065 --> 01:12:39,442
It's him and it's her,
and they're together!
1285
01:12:39,734 --> 01:12:42,571
And he has this flatulence
problem and he's eating a
pizza,
1286
01:12:42,863 --> 01:12:45,031
and it's her and
they're together!
Hey, it's Peabody.
1287
01:12:45,323 --> 01:12:48,702
I hate that guy. He's got
such a grating voice.
1288
01:12:48,994 --> 01:12:50,328
Yeah.
1289
01:12:50,620 --> 01:12:51,997
I'll shut him up.
1290
01:12:55,292 --> 01:12:56,751
Oh!
Oh, here, let me.
1291
01:12:57,043 --> 01:12:58,461
Terrible kids! Just terrible.
(KIDS LAUGHING)
1292
01:12:58,753 --> 01:12:59,713
MR. PEABODY: Oh, I'm sorry.
1293
01:13:00,005 --> 01:13:02,007
Hey, that's pretty good.
Let me try.
1294
01:13:05,677 --> 01:13:08,555
You rotten kids!
You should be
locked in cages!
1295
01:13:10,015 --> 01:13:11,641
You can't talk
to them like that.
1296
01:13:11,933 --> 01:13:16,646
Screw you, pal! I can talk
about anybody however I want!
1297
01:13:18,815 --> 01:13:19,858
(GASPS)
Ha-ha!
1298
01:13:31,536 --> 01:13:32,495
(GRUNTS)
1299
01:13:36,416 --> 01:13:37,417
Hey!
1300
01:13:45,091 --> 01:13:46,092
(GRUNTS)
Yeah!
1301
01:13:49,429 --> 01:13:50,513
(GROANS IN DISGUST)
1302
01:13:51,848 --> 01:13:54,017
Oh, two can play at this game!
1303
01:13:54,643 --> 01:13:55,602
(GASPS)
1304
01:13:56,770 --> 01:13:58,563
Let's get 'em!
1305
01:14:17,332 --> 01:14:18,541
Keep it moving.
Come on! Let's go!
1306
01:14:18,833 --> 01:14:20,293
Hey, quit pushin'!
It wasn't our fault.
1307
01:14:20,585 --> 01:14:22,170
I got hit in the head
with an egg.
1308
01:14:22,462 --> 01:14:24,589
Just get out of here! And, you
can never come back to
Pizzariffic again!
1309
01:14:24,881 --> 01:14:27,050
Oh, that's a big loss.
Yeah, we said "no
olives."
1310
01:14:27,342 --> 01:14:29,928
Ah, did everybody
get enough to eat?
(LAUGHS) Yeah.
1311
01:14:30,220 --> 01:14:32,097
Annie, you look like you
could use some dessert.
1312
01:14:32,389 --> 01:14:34,182
No, I mean it.
Right around here.
1313
01:14:35,308 --> 01:14:36,893
Your dad's pretty funny.
1314
01:14:37,185 --> 01:14:38,812
He takes after me, you know.
1315
01:14:39,104 --> 01:14:42,023
Junior, I'm sorry I hit you
with a fire hose.
1316
01:14:42,315 --> 01:14:45,819
That's okay. I'm sorry
I made you barf on the
Crazy Dance.
1317
01:14:46,111 --> 01:14:47,320
(CHUCKLES)
1318
01:14:49,406 --> 01:14:50,699
Right in her face.
1319
01:14:51,866 --> 01:14:54,244
You know, I think
your dad likes my mom.
1320
01:14:54,536 --> 01:14:55,829
Normally when a guy does that,
1321
01:14:56,121 --> 01:14:58,748
I run him over with a car
or knock him down the stairs.
1322
01:14:59,040 --> 01:15:00,792
I gotta look out for her.
1323
01:15:01,084 --> 01:15:04,462
But your dad, he doesn't
bug me that much.
1324
01:15:04,754 --> 01:15:07,507
You know, your mom doesn't
bother me that much either.
1325
01:15:09,300 --> 01:15:10,385
Pals?
1326
01:15:11,845 --> 01:15:12,887
Pals.
1327
01:15:14,681 --> 01:15:15,974
(SIREN WAILING)
1328
01:15:22,814 --> 01:15:23,940
(SIGHS)
1329
01:15:24,899 --> 01:15:27,527
Oh, my, my arms.
1330
01:15:28,778 --> 01:15:30,321
My arms are free.
1331
01:15:33,366 --> 01:15:34,659
Oh, my Lord.
1332
01:15:35,618 --> 01:15:37,454
What's wrong with my face?
1333
01:15:40,331 --> 01:15:41,708
What is this?
1334
01:15:50,467 --> 01:15:51,468
Oh.
1335
01:15:53,553 --> 01:15:54,679
Oh.
1336
01:15:55,263 --> 01:15:56,181
Oh!
1337
01:15:59,184 --> 01:16:01,853
(SCREAMING) I'm Pinocchio!
1338
01:16:12,405 --> 01:16:13,323
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
1339
01:16:15,325 --> 01:16:17,368
Good, you made it.
1340
01:16:17,660 --> 01:16:20,163
Yeah, why'd you want me
to come over so late?
1341
01:16:20,455 --> 01:16:23,333
You know how you said
you liked my dad?
Yeah.
1342
01:16:23,625 --> 01:16:25,293
I have the weirdest idea.
(SNORING)
1343
01:16:25,585 --> 01:16:27,879
I think our parents
should get married!
1344
01:16:28,171 --> 01:16:30,340
What are you talking about?
1345
01:16:30,632 --> 01:16:32,634
Your dad's already taken.
1346
01:16:32,926 --> 01:16:36,721
Well, you know,
he might be having
a slight change of plans.
1347
01:16:37,013 --> 01:16:38,598
(NIPPY GROWLING)
1348
01:16:41,601 --> 01:16:43,686
Oh, great! Big Ben's up.
1349
01:16:45,313 --> 01:16:46,606
Who are you?
1350
01:16:46,898 --> 01:16:48,775
And you should be in bed.
1351
01:16:49,067 --> 01:16:50,610
Rested up for
tomorrow's wedding.
1352
01:16:50,902 --> 01:16:52,612
There ain't gonna
be no wedding.
1353
01:16:52,904 --> 01:16:56,825
I made Lawanda so ugly, no
one's gonna want to marry
her.
1354
01:16:57,117 --> 01:16:59,577
Lawanda Dumore is the key
to my financial comeback.
1355
01:16:59,869 --> 01:17:01,037
And nobody,
1356
01:17:01,329 --> 01:17:03,873
nobody is gonna
stand in my way.
1357
01:17:05,834 --> 01:17:06,876
Nippy, where'd you go?
1358
01:17:07,168 --> 01:17:09,587
Looks like this guy's
gonna be a problem.
1359
01:17:09,879 --> 01:17:12,715
No, he's not.
Let's get him!
1360
01:17:13,007 --> 01:17:14,008
Yeah!
1361
01:17:15,009 --> 01:17:16,177
Oh! Ah!
1362
01:17:18,054 --> 01:17:19,222
Ahhh!
Yeah!
1363
01:17:19,931 --> 01:17:20,890
(GROANING)
1364
01:17:21,808 --> 01:17:22,892
Ahhh!
1365
01:17:29,399 --> 01:17:30,942
I'm really tired.
1366
01:17:32,443 --> 01:17:34,195
Ah, come on.
Don't wuss out.
1367
01:17:34,487 --> 01:17:36,865
This is the only way to get
our parents together.
1368
01:17:37,157 --> 01:17:38,449
Now come on!
1369
01:17:49,627 --> 01:17:53,381
Whoa! So much bigger
than it looked
in Mr. Thorn's slide.
1370
01:17:53,965 --> 01:17:54,924
Huh.
1371
01:17:58,261 --> 01:18:00,305
TRIXIE: So, how do
ya start this thing?
1372
01:18:00,597 --> 01:18:03,641
I don't know.
Guess you just
make a wish.
1373
01:18:03,933 --> 01:18:08,062
Oh, mighty Love Rock,
we come to you today
to ask a big favor.
1374
01:18:08,354 --> 01:18:12,358
We got these two parents
and we want them to fall
in love and get married,
1375
01:18:12,650 --> 01:18:15,737
so I don't get stuck with
that bitch, Lawanda.
1376
01:18:16,029 --> 01:18:19,490
I hope this isn't asking
too much, but you're a
magic rock,
1377
01:18:19,782 --> 01:18:22,118
so you're probably used to
these things.
1378
01:18:22,911 --> 01:18:23,912
Please help us.
1379
01:18:52,941 --> 01:18:54,234
Oh, Annie.
1380
01:19:01,115 --> 01:19:03,201
All right, Junior, get up!
1381
01:19:03,493 --> 01:19:06,246
It's a big day.
Today you get yourself a mom.
1382
01:19:07,247 --> 01:19:08,706
(PHONE RINGING)
1383
01:19:10,375 --> 01:19:11,960
Has Junior ever
run away before?
1384
01:19:12,252 --> 01:19:13,461
Uh, no.
1385
01:19:13,753 --> 01:19:15,129
(STUTTERING) It's
this wedding thing.
It's got him upset.
1386
01:19:15,421 --> 01:19:17,048
I'm sorry he had to
drag Trixie into this.
1387
01:19:17,340 --> 01:19:19,676
Oh, don't let Trixie off
the hook that easily.
1388
01:19:19,968 --> 01:19:22,136
I mean, she's usually
responsible for her
share of the action.
1389
01:19:22,428 --> 01:19:25,348
Maybe, but I know Junior,
he can be the biggest
menace who ever lived.
1390
01:19:25,640 --> 01:19:29,394
Whoa! Maybe he was
a nuisance in that little
town you're from,
1391
01:19:29,686 --> 01:19:31,104
but now you're in
Mortville,
1392
01:19:31,396 --> 01:19:33,273
and around here
Trixie runs the show.
1393
01:19:33,564 --> 01:19:36,734
Look, she's an amateur.
Nobody has caused the amount
of destruction Junior has.
1394
01:19:39,862 --> 01:19:42,615
I don't know. I guess
this is a stupid thing
to argue about.
1395
01:19:46,828 --> 01:19:48,288
ANNIE: There they are.
1396
01:20:03,428 --> 01:20:05,930
Aw, will you look at that.
1397
01:20:06,222 --> 01:20:08,266
Hey, guys, good morning!
1398
01:20:12,020 --> 01:20:12,937
Hey!
1399
01:20:13,229 --> 01:20:15,565
The Love Rock worked.
1400
01:20:15,857 --> 01:20:17,317
Up and at 'em, Junior.
Let's go.
1401
01:20:17,608 --> 01:20:18,651
Attaboy.
1402
01:20:23,531 --> 01:20:24,490
(SIGH ING)
1403
01:20:24,782 --> 01:20:27,660
So, um, do you
need a ride home?
1404
01:20:27,952 --> 01:20:30,580
No, I think we're going
to take a little walk
1405
01:20:30,872 --> 01:20:32,123
and have a little talk.
1406
01:20:32,415 --> 01:20:35,585
Besides, you've probably
got millions of things
to do today.
1407
01:20:35,877 --> 01:20:37,920
Yeah, I guess
I do have plans.
1408
01:20:39,380 --> 01:20:41,632
So, um, see ya.
1409
01:20:59,400 --> 01:21:02,236
Typical Little Ben, you always
wait the last damn minute.
1410
01:21:02,528 --> 01:21:04,906
Hey, Dad, don't you wanna
go see Lawanda?
1411
01:21:05,198 --> 01:21:06,574
No, Junior, there's a
tradition.
1412
01:21:06,866 --> 01:21:09,118
The groom is not
allowed to see the bride
before the ceremony.
1413
01:21:09,410 --> 01:21:11,871
But, but...
But, but, my ass!
1414
01:21:12,163 --> 01:21:14,540
Beat it, we're busy.
1415
01:21:14,832 --> 01:21:19,796
JUNIOR: Oh, no!
If Dad doesn't see Lawanda's
big schnoz, I'm screwed!
1416
01:21:23,883 --> 01:21:25,301
(WEDDING MARCH PLAYING)
1417
01:21:48,991 --> 01:21:49,992
(SIGHS)
1418
01:22:10,596 --> 01:22:11,639
Oh!
1419
01:22:12,765 --> 01:22:13,850
SMITH: Miss Dumore!
1420
01:22:16,352 --> 01:22:17,395
BIG BEN: You
all right, darlin'?
1421
01:22:17,687 --> 01:22:19,188
Dad, look at her face!
1422
01:22:21,983 --> 01:22:23,192
Hey, what happened?
1423
01:22:24,902 --> 01:22:26,571
Thought you had
me licked, huh?
1424
01:22:26,863 --> 01:22:31,242
Well, it's amazing what
$382,000 worth of
last-minute double-overtime
1425
01:22:31,534 --> 01:22:33,119
plastic surgery can do!
1426
01:22:35,413 --> 01:22:37,582
Benjamin, what's
the hold up?
1427
01:22:37,874 --> 01:22:39,667
Uh, uh...
Fine.
1428
01:22:41,335 --> 01:22:42,295
BIG BEN: Come on.
Sit down, kid.
1429
01:22:44,380 --> 01:22:45,840
Hit it, Padre!
1430
01:22:49,635 --> 01:22:52,138
Dearly beloved,
we are gathered today
1431
01:22:52,430 --> 01:22:53,723
on this day of joy,
1432
01:22:54,015 --> 01:22:55,600
to unite these two
wonderful people.
1433
01:22:55,892 --> 01:22:56,726
No!
1434
01:22:57,018 --> 01:22:58,352
Dad, don't do it!
1435
01:22:58,644 --> 01:23:01,022
Go for it, Little Ben!
Make me proud, ah!
1436
01:23:05,109 --> 01:23:06,819
(SIGHING)
We are gathered together
1437
01:23:07,111 --> 01:23:08,404
on this day of joy
1438
01:23:08,696 --> 01:23:11,115
to unite you two
wonderful peo...
(HORN HONKING)
1439
01:23:16,454 --> 01:23:18,080
Who the hell is that?
1440
01:23:18,372 --> 01:23:19,999
That's my pal, Trixie!
1441
01:23:23,544 --> 01:23:24,921
(HORN HONKING)
1442
01:23:28,424 --> 01:23:29,926
I hate children!
1443
01:23:31,010 --> 01:23:33,095
They ruin everything!
1444
01:23:33,387 --> 01:23:37,600
If I had enough power,
I'd wipe them off the
face of the Earth!
1445
01:23:40,937 --> 01:23:41,812
(NEIGHING)
1446
01:23:42,104 --> 01:23:43,105
(CROWD SCREAMING)
1447
01:23:48,277 --> 01:23:49,320
Yeah!
1448
01:23:49,612 --> 01:23:51,239
(TRIXIE LAUGH ING MANIACALLY)
1449
01:23:51,531 --> 01:23:52,365
Junior!
1450
01:23:54,742 --> 01:23:55,868
All right!
1451
01:24:01,082 --> 01:24:02,083
Nippy!
1452
01:24:02,375 --> 01:24:03,918
(NIPPY GROWLING)
Oh, God!
1453
01:24:10,883 --> 01:24:12,260
No, Ms. Dumore! No!
1454
01:24:15,972 --> 01:24:17,848
I command you to stop!
1455
01:24:21,018 --> 01:24:23,604
Trixie! You come down here
right this minute!
1456
01:24:25,106 --> 01:24:26,607
Uh!
1457
01:24:26,899 --> 01:24:30,027
Oh my, how many times
have I told you not to
operate heavy machinery?
1458
01:24:30,570 --> 01:24:31,821
Annie!
1459
01:24:32,113 --> 01:24:35,116
Ben, I am so sorry.
I couldn't stop her.
1460
01:24:35,408 --> 01:24:38,160
We ruined your whole wedding.
This wedding was
meant to be ruined.
1461
01:24:38,452 --> 01:24:40,371
Ben...
Annie, you're
the one I want.
1462
01:24:42,081 --> 01:24:43,082
What?
1463
01:24:46,419 --> 01:24:48,421
Yeah!
We did it!
1464
01:24:49,505 --> 01:24:52,008
What in the hell
are you doin'?
1465
01:24:52,300 --> 01:24:54,427
You got to go back and
scrape your lovely bride
off the ground.
1466
01:24:54,719 --> 01:24:56,721
Dad! I don't wanna
marry Lawanda!
1467
01:24:57,013 --> 01:24:58,097
I've found someone else.
1468
01:24:58,389 --> 01:24:59,932
Who cares what
you've found?
1469
01:25:00,224 --> 01:25:02,602
Lawanda Dumore is a gold mine.
She's worth millions.
1470
01:25:02,893 --> 01:25:05,021
Look, Dad, if you
like her so much,
you marry her!
1471
01:25:05,313 --> 01:25:06,814
(CASH REGISTER DINGS)
1472
01:25:07,106 --> 01:25:08,733
Yeah! (CHUCKLES)
1473
01:25:09,025 --> 01:25:09,984
Why not?
1474
01:25:17,074 --> 01:25:18,200
Thanks, buddy.
1475
01:25:18,492 --> 01:25:21,329
Dad, I wouldn't have done
it for anyone else.
1476
01:25:23,581 --> 01:25:24,957
(BARKING)
1477
01:25:25,249 --> 01:25:26,292
(STRAINING)
1478
01:25:26,584 --> 01:25:27,668
Here, let me help you.
1479
01:25:27,960 --> 01:25:28,836
One...
1480
01:25:29,128 --> 01:25:31,047
(GRUNTING) Two, three!
1481
01:25:31,339 --> 01:25:32,715
(SOBBING)
1482
01:25:34,300 --> 01:25:35,217
Whoa!
1483
01:25:36,260 --> 01:25:37,762
Let me help you.
1484
01:25:38,054 --> 01:25:39,639
Not you, dummy!
1485
01:25:39,930 --> 01:25:40,973
LAWANDA: Oh! Ow!
1486
01:25:41,265 --> 01:25:42,975
Come on. Come on!
(GRUNTING)
1487
01:25:43,267 --> 01:25:45,102
Get your mitts off me!
1488
01:25:45,394 --> 01:25:46,812
I hate your whole family.
1489
01:25:47,647 --> 01:25:49,857
Oh, honey, come here.
1490
01:25:50,149 --> 01:25:51,567
I'm not like them.
1491
01:25:51,859 --> 01:25:52,818
I'm different.
1492
01:25:53,110 --> 01:25:54,278
I love you.
1493
01:25:55,780 --> 01:25:57,156
You said you love me?
1494
01:26:01,410 --> 01:26:02,495
BOTH: Yuck!
1495
01:26:09,627 --> 01:26:10,628
(EXPLOSION)
1496
01:26:15,174 --> 01:26:16,133
(BARKING)
1497
01:26:17,677 --> 01:26:18,719
Yeah!
1498
01:26:19,011 --> 01:26:20,096
(FLATULENCE)
1499
01:26:25,976 --> 01:26:27,645
Nippy!
(BARKING)
1500
01:26:28,187 --> 01:26:30,439
Oh, my God!
1501
01:26:30,731 --> 01:26:31,649
(SAVED BY LOVE
PERFORMED BY RIK EMMETT)
1502
01:26:31,941 --> 01:26:34,402
Saved by love
Saved by love
1503
01:26:34,694 --> 01:26:38,155
I've been lonely way
too long
1504
01:26:38,447 --> 01:26:42,368
I've been saved by love
Saved by love
1505
01:26:42,660 --> 01:26:47,915
The miracle of love
has set me free
1506
01:26:48,207 --> 01:26:52,795
Saved by love
Lonely way too long
1507
01:26:53,963 --> 01:26:56,841
Saved by love
Saved by love
1508
01:26:57,133 --> 01:27:00,761
And I know
1509
01:27:03,013 --> 01:27:04,682
Love won't let me
1510
01:27:04,974 --> 01:27:08,352
Love don't let me go
1511
01:27:08,644 --> 01:27:11,647
Saved by love
Saved by love
1512
01:27:11,939 --> 01:27:15,401
I've been lonely way
too long
1513
01:27:15,693 --> 01:27:19,155
I've been saved by love
Saved by love
1514
01:27:19,447 --> 01:27:23,409
And I know
1515
01:27:25,327 --> 01:27:26,787
Love
1516
01:27:27,705 --> 01:27:30,124
Don't let me go
1517
01:27:31,959 --> 01:27:33,669
Whoa, no!
1518
01:27:47,892 --> 01:27:50,978
You came along
and you rescued me
1519
01:27:51,270 --> 01:27:56,942
The miracle of love
has set me free
1520
01:27:57,693 --> 01:28:00,362
Oh, set me free
1521
01:28:14,919 --> 01:28:18,088
Out on the borderline
1522
01:28:18,380 --> 01:28:21,926
Somewhere between
heart and mind
1523
01:28:22,218 --> 01:28:27,223
Just tryin' to
make it through okay
1524
01:28:29,809 --> 01:28:33,103
Caught in a battleground
1525
01:28:33,395 --> 01:28:36,857
Resistance is wearing down
1526
01:28:37,149 --> 01:28:41,904
Just couldn't face
another day
1527
01:28:43,072 --> 01:28:46,534
Oh, but then,
you came my way
1528
01:28:46,826 --> 01:28:50,287
And I was saved by love
Saved by love
1529
01:28:50,579 --> 01:28:53,999
I've been lonely way
too long
1530
01:28:54,291 --> 01:28:57,753
I've been saved by love
Saved by love
1531
01:28:58,045 --> 01:29:00,923
And I know
1532
01:29:03,509 --> 01:29:06,679
This love won't let me go
1533
01:29:14,478 --> 01:29:17,314
Facing the world alone
1534
01:29:17,606 --> 01:29:21,527
Out there in the great
unknown
1535
01:29:21,819 --> 01:29:26,031
But every turn
just turns out wrong
1536
01:29:29,118 --> 01:29:31,495
And then you came along
1537
01:29:31,787 --> 01:29:36,625
When hope and faith
were almost gone
1538
01:29:36,917 --> 01:29:42,423
You gave me
the strength to carry on
1539
01:29:42,715 --> 01:29:46,135
You were the one
that I could count upon
1540
01:29:46,427 --> 01:29:49,889
And I was saved by love
Saved by love
1541
01:29:50,180 --> 01:29:53,601
I've been lonely way
too long
1542
01:29:53,893 --> 01:29:57,354
I was saved by love
Saved by love
1543
01:29:57,646 --> 01:30:00,941
And I know
1544
01:30:03,569 --> 01:30:04,945
Love
1545
01:30:05,946 --> 01:30:09,074
Don't let me go
1546
01:30:10,284 --> 01:30:11,785
Whoa, no!
1547
01:30:14,872 --> 01:30:17,750
Saved by love
Saved by love
1548
01:30:18,042 --> 01:30:21,045
I've been lonely way
too long
1549
01:30:26,091 --> 01:30:29,219
Came along
and you rescued me
1550
01:30:29,511 --> 01:30:34,141
The miracle of love
has set me free
103108
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