Original subtitles

You know, Junior, thiS is kind of a sentimental moment.

Cold River is where I was born, where I was raised.

Everyone I know is here.

Got a lot of fond memories of this place.

Fond memories? What're you talkin' about?

Everybody hated ya, your father, your wife,

those horrible neighbors.

You're right. Let's blow this joint!

(ENGINE REVVING)

Yeah!

Whoo-ha!

(ONLY THE STRONG SURVIVE PERFORMED BY BRYAN ADAMS)

When the pressure's on and you're all alone

Takin' me right through the danger zone

When the moon is high and the skies are clear

Just show me a sign and we'll be out of here

Take me up on a wing and a prayer

Look.

If you need a friend you'll know

I'll be there Yeah

Hound dog howling' out through the night

Eight miles high and I'm doin' all right

Better move over 'cause you're goin' too slow

I feel the need for freedom and now it's time to go

There's a fine line

Between pleasure and pain

Let your conscience be your guide

Till we meet again

Yeah

The time has come You can stand or you can run

Don't keep it all inside

You gotta understand

There ain't no second chance

No one gets out of here alive

Only the strong survive

Whoo

BEN: Well, we're finally here, Mortville.

Take me up on a wing and a prayer

if you need someone you know

I'll be there

The time has come you can stand or you can run

Don't keep it all inside

You gotta understand

There ain't no second chance

(JUNIOR LAUGHING)

No one gets out of here alive

Only the strong survive

(JUNIOR CONTINUES LAUGH ING)

Only the strong survive

JUNIOR: Is it the one with the yellow roof? BEN: No.

JUNIOR: Hmm.

Is it the one with the purple flowers?

No.

How about the one with the great big sold sign in the front yard?

Bingo!

Only the strong survive

JUNIOR: Hey, Dad, come on. Let's go! Quick!

Ah!

Oh, my God!

Look at that hunk.

Hubba hubba.

And the realtor says he's single.

ALL: Ah! Single! Single!

What do you think, Junior?

Great. Come on. Quick, Dad!

Whoa! Totally awesome.

Radical!

You like it?

Wow! It's fantastic!

BEN: Ha-ha! Wait till you see your bedroom.

Yee-ha!

BEN: Home sweet home!

Yeah, that's right. Ha-ha!

This place is gigantic!

You could play football in here. Oh.

Hit me! I'm open! Here's the bomb.

JUNIOR: So here we are, starting our new life.

It's nice having a guy who loves me.

Usually, people take one look and run screaming for the hills.

You know, I think me and Dad are gonna do all right together.

Thought you could sneak through a little opening there?

Should I spike you? No, it's illegal to spike kids.

Come here, buddy.

It's just you and me, Junior. (DOORBELL RINGS)

Hang on a second, pal.

Somebody's at the door. Aw!

Hi. I wanted to welcome you to our little neighborhood,

so I, uh, baked you a...

Cherry pie.

Well, that's so sweet.

Look, Junior, she baked us a cherry pie.

How thoughtful.

All right, 1st and 10.

Junior, what're you doing?

I want you to apologize to this kind lady.

(SIGH ING)

(LADIES MURMURING)

Oh, you're even better looking up close.

Excuse me.

(ALL MURMURING)

What?

Dad, what about football?

Oh, thank you. We can play later.

Don't you want to meet these wonderful ladies?

Oh, thank you.

Out of the way, girls! Oh, thank God, another man!

Another Joe I can talk to...

I'm goin' crazy livin' here.

You know, Mortville, the divorcée capital of the world.

(CHUCKLING)

Anyway listen, we're having a little barbecue, so I thought I'd be, you know,

neighborly and invite you to come over.

Oh, hey, I'm Aron Burger. I live next door.

Oh, yeah, my name is Ben Healy, and, and this is my son, Junior.

Hmm. He's a funny-lookin' kid.

Anyway, listen, take this with us, huh. Come on.

ARON: Well, neighbor, what do you think of my cooker, huh?

It's very large.

Hey, hey! You bet.

Cost me a whole month's paycheck but, ah, you know, it's worth it.

(CHUCKLES)

Oh, I see you're not impressed.

Well, I guess your wife does the cooking for you.

(STUTTERING) No, I'm not married, actually.

We, ah, we broke up. And you got the kid?

Ooh, bad deal. (CHUCKLING)

Did you get screwed! (CHUCKLING)

This neighborhood has a move-in fee.

You have to give each of us $10.

20 bucks?

I'm not giving you diddly-squat.

Pay us or leave. Eh.

And with a 50 to one chick-to-stud ratio in this town, Healy,

you gotta get started, you know?

Dad, can we go?

These people are real dicks.

Well, excuse me, your highness.

I didn't realize that simple little me and my simple little family

weren't good enough for your high and mighty taste.

Hey, maybe I should go inside and slip on my silk tuxedo.

And then we can trot out the champagne and the escargot.

(WIND HOWLING)

Junior, try to be polite. We're his guests.

Okay, Dad.

I'm sorry about that.

It's all right.

We've taken a long trip and he's just a little tired.

ARON: My girls are the same way. Brats!

(GAS LEAKING)

Hey, Healy, go make yourself useful.

Get little more barbecue sauce from the little woman.

Barbecue sauce. Sure thing, neighbor.

Ah!

(SQUEAKING)

Ah!

Here's to the start of a beautiful meal.

(GAS LEAKING)

Damn!

Ho-ho! This one's not gettin' away.

Gotcha! (EXPLOSION)

(ARON SCREAMING)

Whoa!

My first day of school.

I'm so proud of you. You're such a good girl.

Junior, now you get out of this car! You are going to school!

No way. I'd rather eat a turd.

Ju... Ah!

Junior, third grade is the foundation of a great education.

If you don't go, you'll only hurt yourself.

Well, I'm sure, I'll take a couple others down with me.

Junior, I am your father and you'll do as I say!

Now, come on!

Get out! (GRUNTING)

Now, look what you've done.

Get over here.

Take this. Good-bye and good luck.

(PANTING)

It's his first day. He's a little nervous.

It's him.

Yiddish! Changing careers was the smartest thing I ever did.

Yes. Oh, yeah, because I love being the principal.

Because I hate children. I hate them!

Being a principal's great 'cause I hate children.

I bark and they do what I say.

Anything. Crawl around on all fours, they do that.

"Would you mind jumping out of the window?"

"Okay, sure, Mr. Principal."

Out they go. Anything. (BUZZER BEEPING)

SECRETARY: Principal Peabody, there's a new student to see you.

Uh, I'll have to call you back.

I have to deal with one of the little weenies right now.

Okay, call you back.

Send the little sweetheart in.

Ahhh!

Hey, pea brain, what're you doing here?

What am I doing here? What are you doing here?

I belong here. You belong in Cold River.

This is Mortville.

What're you doing here?

You're not here. That's it. That's the only answer.

You're not here. (LAUGHS)

You're not here. I'm imagining you.

You're a figment of my imagination.

Well, if I was a figment of your imagination, could I do this?

(FLATULENCE)

Oh! Whoa!

Oh, did something crawl in here and die?

(LAUGHS) You, you disgusting kid!

You disgusting, flatulating kid!

Whoa! I just had a new paint job too.

Oh, this is horrible. Ho!

Grade, what grade are you in?

Third. Third?

That means you're here for another four years.

This is a mistake.

This is a big mistake 'cause you are a genius.

You are so intelligent.

Anyone who can break wind like that has to have a mind.

So, I'm gonna pass you on to the sixth grade,

and in one year you're gonna be in another school.

But my dad says third grade is the foundation of my education.

Oh, your dad says that.

Your dad is a moron! He's a moron!

You know what a moron is? That's what your dad is!

Anyway, you don't belong here.

You belong in the sixth grade.

That's where you are because you are a genius, kid. A genius!

JUNIOR: Sixth grade? Wow!

I should fart in more people's offices.

(DOOR OPENS)

(CLASS GIGGLING)

Oh, no, not another one.

How many kids are they gonna make me teach?

Well, get in there and find a seat.

Go ahead, come on, come on. Hustle, small fry.

I'm not gonna have you holdin' up my class all year. Now, let's move it!

Now let's start with a nice easy review

to see how much you underachievers remember from last year.

Polly, what's 17 times 8?

136. Good.

Richard, what's 72 divided by negative nine?

Negative eight, sir. Fine.

Murph!

Murph!

What's three plus two?

Hmm...

Four. (CLASS LAUGH ING)

Murph, you've been in the sixth grade since I started teaching here.

I really want to get you out this year. Now, please.

Please work with me. What's three plus two?

Nine?

(CLASS JEERING) Hmph!

I can see this is gonna be a long year.

Five, all right? The answer is five.

You.

What're you saying?

Uh, I said five.

(CLICKING AND SLAPPING)

Dandy! I'm glad somebody's paying attention here.

Polly, pass out the workbooks.

I'm gonna go rummage in the storage closet,

see if I can find something for good ol' Murph.

(DOOR CLOSES)

Who let the baby into the sixth grade?

What's in your bag?

(THUMP) Your diapers?

No, my lunch, you pinhead.

Little kid doesn't know who he's talkin' to.

I'm the senior student in this school.

No shit! You've been here since 1970.

Oh, you're gonna hurt!

(HUFFING)

This is your last day of school ever!

(COUGH ING)

(KIDS SCREAMING)

(MUFFLED MOANING)

JUNIOR: Maybe Dad's right.

Maybe Mortville is gonna be a great place to live.

Whoa! Ow!

Good morning, Miss Dumore.

They missed a payment. Toss 'em in the street.

But, uh... But ma'am, that's a nursing home. They're invalids.

Oh, boo-hoo-hoo.

So, are we all set for that charity ball?

Your tickets are confirmed, but...

Sergio says he needs money for a new tux.

More money!

I gave him two grand yesterday.

These damn gigolos!

Every man in Mortville wants to bleed me dry.

Why can't I just find a good, decent man?

One with integrity.

One with compassion. One with...

Oh, my God.

Who's that beefcake?

I don't know. I suppose he's a customer at the bank.

He's with the loan officer...

Out of my way, fat boy.

And you see, that's why I want to start my own business

because I wanna create something out of nothing.

I don't just wanna take, you know?

I wanna give. I wanna put something back into the community.

Oh!

He's incredible, and he's just my type.

Smith, I want you to find out everything about this guy

because I think I found myself hubby number seven.

Hello. Hi.

(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)

BEN: Hey, Junior!

Hey, Dad. So, tell me.

How was your first day at school?

Pretty good. They skipped me three grades.

They skipped you?

That's fantastic! I can't believe it.

See? I told you you'd hit it off here.

So, tell me. Did you make any new friends?

JUNIOR: Well, how would you define the word "friend"?

(CREAKING) (GRUNTING)

(SCREAMS)

Mmm.

Ow!

Who are you?

I'm Annie Young. I'm the nurse here at Mortville Elementary.

The children are very lucky.

(SIGH ING)

Uh. (CLATTERING)

I'm sorry.

It's okay. Ow! Let me get that. Oh, God!

Excuse me. Oh, here, I should... (GIGGLING)

(CLEARS THROAT)

If you two are done fooling around, maybe we can go home.

Yeah, uh, uh...

Give me a few minutes, Junior. I think the swelling's coming back.

Mmm.

Mmm.

I'll put a compress on that.

Such a good little soldier.

Hmph!

"Give me a few minutes, Junior.

"Give me a few minutes, Junior."

I've been here for an hour!

Who does that nurse think she is?

Hmm...

I wouldn't do that if I were you.

Oh, it's you. Buzz off!

I wouldn't do that if I were you!

If I were you, I wouldn't do a lot of things, like go out in public. (CHUCKLES)

(MARKER SWISHING)

(TRIXIE GRUNTING)

Hi-ya!

Next time you'll listen to me.

LAWANDA: Oh, my God! He's an Adonis.

Look at these stats.

Six feet tall, 185 pounds,

inseam 35 inches.

Oh, sweet Jesus, take me home!

(GASPING) Oh.

What's this thing? His son.

(SIGHS)

"Boy and convicted killer go on joyride"?

"Little league team hospitalized"?

"Union carbide plant explodes"?

This kid's a nightmare.

So, what?

What do you wanna do? Forget the whole thing?

Smith!

When someone has a bum leg, you don't shoot the patient.

You just cut off the leg.

And that's why you want a franchise.

But don't wait. Big Ben is the fastest growing...

Hey, it's Big Ben.

BIG BEN: So, pick up that phone and call now.

You know, for just $399 you can get one of my starter kits.

Hey, you'll be on your way to having it all, just like me,

Big Ben Healy.

(BIG BEN LAUGHS)

What's this?

(SIGHS)

Look at this!

What sort of idiot would send grandpa money?

That's my name. (LAUGHS)

The old man's finally lost his mind.

Uh-huh. God.

Junior, I want you to come downstairs. I got a surprise for you.

All right! A surprise!

Where? Where is it? Right down the steps.

Now, where is that surprise?

Surprise!

Hi, Junior!

I'm Rhoda, your babysitter.

We're gonna be good friends.

Uh, Dad, let's slow this down a minute.

Now, what is going on here?

Junior, this is Rhoda, your babysitter. You two are gonna be good friends.

Yeah, I heard that part. But why?

Yoo-hoo.

Because I'm goin' out on a date.

Hi, Ben. Hi.

I'm all ready.

Great, uh, Junior, you remember Debbie Claukinski?

How can I forget?

Her pie gave us the runs.

That's not, that's not true.

He's thinking about someone else's pie.

Anyway, uh, we don't wanna be late. I got us reservations at the St. Pierre Club.

Oh! I'm so excited.

My ex-husband never took me to fancy places.

Not that I'm the sort of gal who rattles on about her last marriage.

That guy is insanely jealous.

Really? Dad, come on!

Stay here and have fun with me.

Junior, calm down. You're gonna have fun with Rhoda.

Okay, I'm sure you can think of a lot of fun games to play with her, okay?

I'll talk to you later.

TV ANNOUNCER: Welcome to the wonderful world of pigs.

Dirty, hungry, and always horny. (PIGS GRUNTING)

They're Mother Nature's clowns of the farm world.

Watching these charming critters roll in the mud,

it's hard to believe they have an intelligence as high as some humans.

But it's true.

Good night, Dad.

RHODA: Hey, brat! Put that back!

I'm watching.

Hmm.

JUNIOR: This babysitter sucks.

I gotta get Dad back on track here.

Hmm. I wonder whatever happened to Mr. Claukinski?

(PHONE RINGING)

Hello?

JUNIOR: Are you the guy that was married to Debbie Claukinski?

(SOBS) Yeah, but then she left me.

She took my house and my money and my pride.

Well, I thought you'd like to know that she found herself a new guy,

and they're out at the St. Pierre Club,

having fun at your expense.

Who is this?

Just call me a friend.

(PIANO PLAYING)

Oh!

Oh, Ben, this evening is perfect.

Now I know why the Mortville Gazette gave this restaurant three and a half forks.

Hey, excuse me, sir, we have a dress...

Let me in here, you fool!

To us...

Tonight.

Ah-ha!

Debbie, you tramp. What are you doing here?

Voytek, I'm a free woman. I can do whatever I want.

I show you!

(CLUNK) Ow! Oh!

Debbie, you leave with me.

Come. We take the bus home.

Like hell I will!

I'm on a date.

You home breaker!

(STRAINING)

Oh, my kidney.

You bully!

(CROWD GASPING)

DEBBIE: Ben, shame on you!

(VIDEO GAME BEEPING)

Laser cannon locked on.

Fire laser cannon.

Finally! Dad's home!

RHODA: Uh, I thought you'd never get here.

JUNIOR: Who is that weirdo?

Gee, baby, you sure work fast.

Yeah, I got Russian hands and Roman fingers.

Now, where's that master bedroom?

(RHODA PANTING)

Darlin'! (GIGGLING)

Hey, this ain't no motel!

Mind your own beeswax, twerp.

Now, go watch TV or something.

Yeah, what she said.

Oh, Voytek, you were always the best.

Yeah!

So much for my first date.

( INDISTINCT YELLING)

Oh, now what?

(CHEERING)

Keep it up. My God!

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

Oh, my...

He's still going! Unbelievable!

(LAUGH ING)

Yeah! Go for it.

Healy, that's hot stuff.

Yeah!

Junior, we're new here in this community.

Can't we at least attempt to fit in?

What are you gettin' angry at me for?

I didn't do it. I just watched it.

Yes, and so did the entire neighborhood.

I didn't hear any complaints.

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

Oh! Great.

The evening that wouldn't die.

What?

Hey-hey!

There's two more outside. Grab 'em, huh?

Dad, what are you doing here?

Well, I'm here on my vacation. I thought I'd spend it with you.

Excuse me.

How'd he find us?

Eh, you rascal.

I even brought Nippy.

(WHISTLES) Hey, boy, come here, Nip.

Come on. (GROWLING)

Hey, get this freak off of me. Get!

Now don't scare him for God's sakes.

He's only trying to be friendly.

You know this dog is unbalanced.

JUNIOR: Get him out of here!

Stay! (BARKING)

Now, what is going on here?

You never take vacations.

And if you did, you certainly wouldn't spend them with me.

Oh, Little Ben.

Huh.

Little Ben, you're my only son.

Dad, you hate me.

Okay, okay, you figured me out.

I'm not on vacation. I'm broke.

You're what? I'm Chapter 11.

My SNL crashed, my creditors are after me.

I gotta find a place to hide out for a while.

So, why don't you just hide out somewhere else?

And why don't you mind your own damn business, huh?

Nobody asked you a thing.

Wait a minute, you can't be broke. We just saw you on TV.

Oh, that was a big rip-off.

There were no franchises.

Hell, I only sold one starter kit.

No, I gotta find a place to lay low

until this whole Godforsaken thing blows over.

Come on, Little Ben. Do your ol' man a favor.

All those years I spent putting a roof over your head.

Hey, I even bribed that dean to keep you in college, remember?

Huh?

You know something?

You owe me.

Ah, this room is a little small.

Well, it's all we've got.

You can sleep in one of the bunk beds.

Or you can leave.

No, it'll do.

But I get the top bunk.

(BARKING)

(SNORING)

Ah, finally.

(SNORING)

(GRUNTS)

Some educators underestimate the value of civics,

but I say for the growing mind,

there's nothing more important than pride in your city.

This is Highway 39.

This is the Mortville Steel Mill.

Ah, and this is Mortville's very own Love Rock.

When the Dumore family settled this region, they stole it from the Indians.

The Indians claim the rock has magic powers.

What kind of magic?

Well, I don't know, love magic, I guess.

You make a wish and it comes true. At least, that's what they tell the tourists.

(CLASS LAUGHS)

(CLASS LAUGH ING)

Can I get a drink of water?

Uh, yes, you may, but please hurry back.

I've got a great slide of the Rotary Club coming straight up.

STUDENT: (SARCASTICALLY) Oh, great.

Hey, pumpkinhead!

You're gonna wish you never said that!

Oh, yeah? (GASPS)

(SCREAMS)

So, what exactly happened?

I was using the fire hose.

Uh-huh.

And why were you doing this?

I told you, a fire had broken out and I was trying to save the school.

(SIGHS)

Junior, what happened?

Your son saved the school.

He put out a fire.

Ah!

Did anyone ask him how it started, because...

Oh, I'm so sorry.

That's very clumsy of me. It's okay.

Um, listen.

If Junior seems a little troublesome lately,

I wouldn't worry about it a bit.

I mean, he really hasn't made any friends here yet,

so he's probably, uh, a little insecure.

Boy, you really know kids.

Um, Junior and I were gonna get some dinner later,

and I thought maybe,

if you didn't have plans, that you'd...

(GULPS) Care to join us.

Um, no, I can't.

Oh, well... (CLEARS THROAT)

Maybe you and I could do something Friday night.

I'd like to, but no.

Uh, Saturday?

No, not any night.

I've got a problem.

Excuse me? I can't go out with anyone.

But, but, what if we just had dinner and talked?

Dad, didn't you hear the lady? She's got a problem!

Now, quit bugging her and let's get out of here!

Well, uh, we'd better go.

Uh, anyway...

(CLEARS THROAT) Uh, it was nice talking to you, Miss Young.

Uh, Annie.

It was nice talking to you too, Ben, and Junior.

(BIRDS SQUEALING)

"Can we go out on Friday night?

"Can we go out Saturday night?

"Oh, how about Sunday night?"

What's Dad's problem?

Doesn't he have any pride?

GIRLS: Lemonade! Fresh-squeezed lemonade!

Lemonade! Fresh-squeezed lemonade!

I'll have some lemonade.

Certainly! That'll be two dollars.

But I've only got a quarter.

Then I guess you're going thirsty, loser!

Hey, Dolly, there's no more lemonade. Go back and fill it up.

I'm not gonna fill it up.

Why don't you go fill it up? I'm not gonna fill it up.

Why don't you go fill it up?

Hey, Junior, why don't you go back and fill it up?

If you do the work, we might give you a free glass.

Hmm.

Okay. I'll go fill it up.

(LIQUID STREAMING IN)

Oh!

There you go, friends.

Hey, you only filled it halfway!

I tried my best.

Well, it's not good enough!

Just for that, you don't get your free glass.

That's okay by me. (GIGGLING)

GIRLS: Lemonade! Fresh-squeezed lemonade!

Boy, oh, boy! It sure is hot.

I'm working up quite a sweat out here.

(EXHALES)

Dolly, Madison, how about a glass of lemonade, huh?

Certainly! That'll be two dollars.

Two dollars?

Two dollars for a glass of lemonade, for me?

Friggin' brats!

Two dollars.

All right, here you go.

Ah!

Mmm! Tangy!

(LAUGH ING)

Hey, Dad, what do you want for dinner tonight?

Macaroni and cheese or fish sticks?

Well, Junior, I'd say I'd love to have the fish sticks but I've got other plans.

But I was making us dinner!

I can see that, but I'm going out to dinner with Emily from down the street.

Am I gonna get another babysitter?

No, don't be silly! No more babysitters.

For you, we got something better!

Grandpa! Stick 'em! Stick 'em! Stick 'em!

Ah! They don't make fighters like they used to.

No, boy, nobody's hungry anymore.

See?

Dad, don't go out on another date.

You already had one.

Yeah, but it didn't work out.

Junior, how am I gonna find us a new mom if I don't keep looking?

But we don't need a new mom.

Things were great when it was just you and me.

I mean, we already got stuck with him.

Junior, I'm going out on a date tonight, okay?

I'm going to go get cleaned up.

Let me know if you hear the doorbell.

Don't worry, you'll hear it.

(GET READY PERFORMED BY THE TEMPTATIONS)

I never met a girl

Who makes me feel the way that you do

You're all right

Whenever I'm asked who makes my head reel

I say that you do You're out of sight

So fee-fi-fo-fum

Look out, baby, 'cause here I come

And I'm bringing you a love that's true

So get ready, so get ready

I'm gonna try to make you love me too

So get ready, so get ready

Get ready 'cause here I come

Get ready 'cause here I come

I'm on my way

Okay, girls!

We've got work to do.

(DOORBELL RINGS)

Ah! Ben!

I'm sorry.

I'm suddenly not feeling very well.

I think I just caught that flu

that's been going around, okay?

(EXCLAIMS)

(SNICKERING)

So, the little monster screwed you over again, huh?

(CHUCKLES)

Maybe I was too strong with him.

Ever since I started dating these women, he's become so insecure.

BIG BEN: Insecure?

Little Benny's paranoid, he's jealous, and he's dangerous!

What are you saying?

I'm saying leave him by the side of the road and run!

Dad, that's a cop-out. The boy just wants to know he's loved.

I'm sure if I devote more time to him, he'll be better.

JUNIOR: Finally, Dad gets the point.

Good-bye, ladies!

(WHISTLING NONCHALANTLY)

Hey, dog face!

Ha! I knew you'd look.

TEACHER: No running in the hall!

JUNIOR: Oh, darn!

TRIXIE: Nah-nah-nah!

You can't come in here!

JUNIOR: The bitch must die!

Oh, shoot! She tricked me again.

I wish I had half the brains she does.

Well, there's always tomorrow.

(DOOR OPENING)

(DOOR CLOSING)

That guy's pathetic.

(GRUNTS)

Ah-ha! Ah!

You're gonna wish you'd never been born!

Ooh, I'm really scared!

I'm being threatened by the Ty-D-Bol girl!

Now, why have you been bugging me?

Mmm!

I'll bug whoever I want. This is my school!

Says who?

Me and my M-80.

(GASPS)

Ahhh!

Ahhh! (LAUGH ING MANIACALLY)

You're insane!

(FLUSH) Let's get out of here!

BOTH: Ahhh!

(REAL WILD CHILD PERFORMED BY IGGY POP)

I'm just outta school like I'm real, real cool

Got to dance like a fool

Got the message that I've found me a wild one

Out of my way! I can't hold this one until recess!

Gonna break it loose

Oh, this is gonna feel so good.

(EXPLOSION)

(SIGHS IN RELIEF)

Clearance sale! Big clearance sale!

Well, well, well, what do we got here?

You girls selling your daddy's old clothes?

Huh? (CHUCKLES)

Look at this!

Silk shirt for a dime.

And a suit for a quarter?

You know, I had one like this.

I paid two grand for it. I...

Hey, wait a minute.

Wait a... Nippy!

Nippy, what the hell are you doing here? (DOG BARKING)

They're selling you for a nickel!

You little crooks!

Where'd you get this stuff?

We have wholesalers.

The hell you do. This is all mine!

No, it's not!

Junior sold us the whole package for $10!

He did, did he? Well, we'll see about that!

Ah, finally I get some room in here.

You little psycho!

This time you've gone too far!

Eh, shut your trap!

You're an evil boy and you've gotta learn to respect your elders.

If your old man won't teach you some manners, by God, I will!

Oh, yeah?

We'll see about that!

(GRUNTING)

"Huh, huh, huh" my ass!

Whoa!

Ahhh! (JUNIOR LAUGHS)

BEN: Hey, buddy! You ready to go?

Sure, but where?

It's a surprise. I've got a whole fun day planned for us, come on.

All right, let's go!

Junior, have you seen your grandfather lately?

Last time I saw him, he was going out.

Ben! Little Ben!

Help, Little Ben.

Help me!

Whoa, oh, oh, oh!

(GROANING)

(GRUNTING)

Benjamin Healy, time to meet your future.

Help me! Help me!

What is that man doing?

I'm Big Ben Healy.

I live here!

You live in that tree?

(CHUCKLES)

Maybe he's Ben Healy's father.

Shut up! I knew that.

Now move it! Get him down from there.

Whoa! Ah!

(CLANGING)

Whoa! (JUNIOR CHEERING)

All right!

Hey, Junior, this is for you.

Thanks, Dad. You're welcome.

This is great.

First it's a water park, then a ball game, and now it's a carnival.

Well, buddy, I just realized that you and I haven't been spending enough time together.

Dad, I'm glad it's just you and me.

Yeah.

Wow! Look at that cool ride!

(PEOPLE CHEERING)

Can I go on it? Sure, pal, that's why we're here.

MAN: This ride is over!

Whoa, slow down, dude, you can't go on this ride.

Why not?

'Cause you've gotta be as tall as the tentacle.

But it's only a millimeter!

Get out of here! You're holding up my line.

Thanks a lot.

Oh, I'm sorry, Junior. Maybe next year.

Look, you wanna go on the munchkin ride?

No munchkin ride, okay. Um...

Hey, how about a candy apple? Would you like a candy apple?

I'll be right back.

Aw! The little baby couldn't get on the ride?

What's the matter?

They afraid you'll go pee-pee in your diapers?

(LAUGHS)

(GRUNTS)

MAN: Hey, you little creep!

Hey, shrimp!

It must be tough being a little shrimp boat!

(LAUGHS) MAN: Tickets.

(GASPS)

(LAUGHS)

Are you ready for fun?

ALL: Yes!

Yeah? Well, you'd better hang on tight because you're about to experience

the Crazy Dance!

(CROWD CHEERING)

This is pansy speed.

Come on. Pump it up! Pump it up! Pump it up!

Whoo!

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!

MURPH: Whoo!

(ALL SCREAM ING)

Ahhh!

TRIXIE: I'm gonna puke!

I'm gonna barf! I'm gonna barf!

Oh, please, no.

Whoa!

Junior, why do you do these things to me?

I thought we moved here to start over.

People told me you were a problem child.

I said they were wrong.

I said, you just needed a chance to succeed.

We don't have a normal life, especially me.

I can't even go out on a date without something terrible happening.

Well, maybe you shouldn't go out.

Junior, just because I interact with another human being,

doesn't mean that I love you any less. Can't you see that?

Well, I suppose.

Suppo... All right, that's a start.

That's fine, we can build on that.

I'll tell you what. I'll make you a deal.

I promise you that I'll always be there for you,

but you've gotta promise me that you're going to be good from now on.

Okay, I promise. See, that was a little too fast.

"Okay, I promise," you've got to think about it.

It's not just an empty promise.

This is a pact between you and me

to regain some of the trust we used to have, okay?

So what do you say?

Are you gonna improve so that I can be right when I brag about you

to all my friends and tell them that I got the greatest kid there ever was?

Sure.

I'll be better.

That-a-boy.

What happened to our house?

Surprise!

Dad, what've you done? Nothing!

The credit for this miracle goes to one special lady!

Ha-ha!

Ta-da! Ha-ha-ha.

I don't understand. Is she a maid?

Yeah, "Maid to order"!

(LAUGHS)

Benjamin, it's such a pleasure to have new blood movin' into our town.

On behalf of everyone at Dumore Bank,

Dumore Pharmaceuticals, and Dumore Strip Mining,

I just want to extend to you this little old welcome.

I'm Lawanda Dumore.

(STUTTERING) You did all this because I opened up a checking account?

Oh, well, you're a very special customer.

(CLATTERING)

JUNIOR: Oops!

BEN: Oh, Junior!

Oh, that's all right. It's only dirt.

I'll have that up in a jiffy.

(WHIRRING)

(BIG BEN CHUCKLING)

I'm sorry. Junior can be a little clumsy at times.

Oh, ho, that's all right.

Why, without compassion and understanding,

what kind of world would we be living in?

Right, sweetie?

Just try to pull one stunt,

and I'll cut you off at the knees and bury you alive.

She's an incredible woman.

Yeah, you haven't heard the best part.

She's worth $50 million.

Ho, ho, ho, ho.

LAWANDA: I am so sorry.

I just completely lost track of the time.

I've gotta run.

I've got a meeting with some cockamamie shareholder grievance committee.

But we should get together for dinner real soon.

I could cook us up something special.

Well, sure, that would be nice, Miss Dumore.

Oh, no. Lawanda.

Lawanda.

(CLEARS THROAT)

(MUMBLING) Go on.

Bye-bye!

5-0-0-0-0-0-0-ooh! Ooh!

(LAUGHS)

50 million!

Lawanda, it smells so great in there.

You sure you don't need any help?

Oh, no, Benjamin.

You just stay down here and relax.

I'm taking care of everything.

Okay.

JUNIOR: I know I promised Dad I wouldn't hurt Lawanda.

But I never said the dog couldn't.

You're falling into a trance.

Your eyes are getting heavy.

You can't move a muscle.

When you wake up, you'll be thinking of one thing,

destroy Lawanda.

She is your enemy.

She is like a cat, but uglier.

(DOG WHINING) You want to bite her butt off

and scare her away, so she'll never come back.

When I clap my hands,

you'll come out of the trance and do whatever I say.

One...

Two...

Three...

One, two, three.

Nippy?

Nippy?

Hey, Nip, come on.

Uh-oh. Nippy? BIG BEN: Nippy?

Nippy, where are ya?

(WHISTLING)

(SQUEALING)

What have you been up to?

None of your business. You're not my mother.

You are a mean little boy.

Now go on up to your room and change your clothes.

I will not have an unkempt boy at my table.

Your table?

Get! Ah!

(SQUISHING)

(GASPS)

Clowns!

I hate clowns!

This woman is bustin' my balls!

Hey, guys, what are you doing for dinner tonight?

I would like to make a toast to a terrific lady,

who has made us feel so welcome in our new town,

who has fixed up our house,

and cooked us this incredible feast.

BIG BEN: Here, here! To Lawanda.

BIG BEN: To Lawanda. To Lawanda.

Hmm!

That is so sweet.

Well, I hope y'all enjoy this.

I had my staff compile their favorite recipes.

BIG BEN: Well, I, for one, am famished.

So let's eat, huh.

(CHUCKLING)

Yeah.

(SIGHS)

What in the hell is in this salad?

It's blue cheese.

BIG BEN: Oh, my God!

All right. Come on. Get Lawanda! Ha-ha!

Oh!

This salad is infested!

(LAWANDA SHRIEKING)

Oh, my God!

(LAUGHS)

Get it, get it!

BEN: This is a plague!

Yeah!

All right!

BEN: Lawanda, I'm coming!

(SCREAMING)

BEN: Junior, you failed me.

But, Dad, I swear, she hates me.

We had a deal, and you let me down.

She's different from all the others.

Lawanda is bad.

Junior, you think all women are bad.

That poor woman has nothing but good intentions.

She made us dinner tonight and this is how you pay her back?

I am really disappointed in you.

I don't think I'll ever be able to trust you again.

(SIGHS)

Benjamin, I hope you weren't too harsh on him.

I think I've failed as a father.

Oh, no, not at all.

There's just only so much you can handle.

A father's good for some things,

but you need a mother for emotional guidance.

Values. Morality.

Perhaps I should talk to the boy.

Well, yeah, that might be... Good.

Listen here, you little monster.

I am mightier than you are.

And I always get what I want, so back off.

Because whether you like it or not, I am gonna marry your daddy.

And when I do,

you're gonna be on the first plane to boarding school...

In Baghdad!

Dad, you gotta believe me. She said Baghdad!

Forget it, Junior. You have no credibility anymore.

Now let's just see if we can get through this evening like a normal family,

without anything bizarre happening, okay?

Come on.

Come here, look at the chart.

I got 15 gold stars this semester.

So, do you have anything nice to show me?

Sure, just the usual stuff. There's my desk.

And here's my science project.

I'm innocent! I'm innocent!

(GURGLING)

(CHUCKLES)

Oh, and there's my teacher, Mr. Thorn.

Mom, this is Mr. Thorn.

She's doing very well. Awfully good.

MR. PEABODY: Attention, parents.

Please take your seats for tonight's special program,

"Salute to Democracy."

Because, you know, it's like democracy and we're saluting it.

(PIANO PLAYING)

(CROWD APPLAUDING)

Hello, Sam. Hello, Baldy.

Sure is great to see all those parents out there tonight.

It sure is.

(SQUAWKING)

You can't do that to me!

(SQUABBLING)

What are ya...

Oh! What are you...

Oh, oh!

JUNIOR: Sorry about the delay, folks, but we are experiencing technical difficulties.

TRIXIE: Yeah, I had to scratch my balls.

(LAUGH ING)

JUNIOR: Hey, I didn't know eagles had balls. Oh, my God.

TRIXIE: Yeah, I'm a "ball eagle." Excuse me.

JUNIOR: Hey, did you know I can fart The Star-Spangled Banner?

TRIXIE: Really? Okay.

Junior, no!

Ahhh! (SCREAMS)

Who are you?

Who the hell are you?

Trixie!

Trixie, I can't leave you alone for 10 minutes.

Why did you do this? Mom!

But, Mom, those kids won't let me be part of the puppet show.

That's no excuse for...

Come on. We are going right now.

Great show, huh, Dad?

I was saving you a seat.

(GRUNTS)

Annie?

Annie!

Nurse!

Hey, hang on! Wait!

Look, Annie, will you wait?

Look, I understand completely what you're going through.

You couldn't possibly.

Well, I do, believe me, you know, we could help each other.

Just forget it.

Trixie consumes my entire life, I mean...

I don't have room for anything else.

JUNIOR: Boy, that girl sure showed them.

Who would've thought that sweet nurse would have such a crazy daughter?

BEN: What a mess. I have to get Junior a mother.

Annie would be perfect. She's smart and sweet and pretty and loving.

And it would be great to have a nurse on call 24 hours a day.

On the other hand, Lawanda will go out with me.

BIG BEN: Oh, God, please let him marry that rich broad.

'Cause I really need the money.

(SIGH ING)

Oh, I gotta get out of this house.

My son's a loser,

my dog is vanished,

and that punk Junior is the devil come to life.

Nippy! You've come back!

And I thought you abandoned me.

I should have known better.

(CHUCKLES)

Because you'll always stand by my side, won't ya, huh?

(CHUCKLES)

Yeah, you're my one true friend.

Nippy, what the hell happened to you?

I'm... I'm losing my mind.

Junior's getting worse.

We can't even figure out what he did to that dog.

Benjamin, I'm gonna be blunt.

Your child is in a state of emergency.

But I'm doing my best.

Oh, Benjamin, it is not your fault.

You're a fine man, but one lone individual

just cannot do this job.

Your child needs two parental figures.

(GULPING) Lawanda.

Yes?

I'd like to ask you a question.

Junior. Hey, Dad, what's up?

I've got some family news for you.

What, is Big Ben moving out?

No, no, I'm not talking...

Junior, listen to me. This is important. I, uh...

(CLEARS THROAT) I've made a decision.

I'm, I'm going to marry Lawanda.

But, Dad, she hates me!

She doesn't hate... That's ridiculous. Look.

She wants what's best for you.

She wants to make us a home.

But, Dad, she's gonna destroy everything.

Three men living together in a house is, is a mess.

It's unnatural.

Plus, I feel she's a woman of strong moral fiber.

She'll be a good influence over us, especially you.

You're making a big mistake!

I am a grown-up and I will do anything I wanna do!

And on Saturday I'm gonna marry Lawanda!

(HORN HONKING)

Benjamin, we got a jillion things to do.

Caterers, invitations.

And a 1:00 appointment for a blood test.

I'll be right there, sweetheart.

Tell your grandpa I'll be back in a couple of hours, and then we'll talk.

Okay?

Excuse me, sonny, we're from the animal control unit.

There's a local rabies scare. We're lookin' for any strange animals.

Well, Nippy has been acting a little funny lately.

Hmm, you better let us see him.

Okay.

Not now. Come on.

Here you go.

What the hell happened here?

I don't know, but it sure ain't rabies.

Nippy's lost his spunk. Can you do anything for him?

Maybe.

What kind of diet has this little guy been on?

Diet? We just feed him table scraps.

Uh-huh!

Think we found the problem.

Why don't you come with us?

Time like this, there's only one thing you can count on.

Chow Down. Chow Down?

That's right, sonny. Chow Down.

Now in three delicious flavors, beef, chicken and horse.

Mmm-mmm!

Rich meaty flavor.

All simmered in a delicious home-style gravy.

BOTH: Mmm. What dog could resist?

Come and get it!

Wow! Look at him chow down!

You bet, and wait till you see how shiny his coat gets.

(FLATULENCE)

Glad we could be of assistance.

Come on, pal. Let's get back to work.

Hey, what's in that little black box?

Ah, you don't wanna mess with that.

That's blood test from a rabid dog.

Hmm. Blood tests, huh?

(DOG WHINING)

LAB TECHNICIAN: Healy, Benjamin.

Looks fine to me.

And who's next?

Dumore, Lawanda.

Again.

Okay.

Whoa!

Hello, operator!

Give me the county health department. No! This is an emergency!

Oh!

WOMAN: It's darling, Lawanda!

LAWANDA: Oh, my goodness!

You all are the best friends a girl could ever have.

Oh, Lawanda, you're always the most beautiful bride.

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

MAN: Excuse me, ma'am, is Ms. Dumore here?

Oh, my Lord!

Somebody hired strippers!

(CROWD CHEERING)

You want me?

Come and get me.

She's already foamin' at the mouth. Better move fast.

Here we go. It's gonna be all right.

You boys are playing rough! Everything's going to be all right.

What are you two doing?

From the county board of health, ma'am. You have rabies.

What?

You cannot do this to me.

I am rich! I am powerful!

I do not have rabies!

BEN: Lawanda?

How are you feeling?

How am I feelin'?

How am I feelin'? I'm tied to a bed!

Well, maybe this picture will cheer you up.

You know, I think maybe this is a little too much excitement for Lawanda.

Why don't we clear the room? Give her a little quiet time.

Okay, bye, Lawanda. Come on, Dad, let's go.

No, sonny, your dad means we should go.

All of us. (WHISTLES)

Come on.

BIG BEN: Give the lovebirds a chance to be alone, huh.

Here, sweetheart. This might cheer you.

Oh, here, why don't I, I'll put this over here.

You know, I talked to Father Flanagan

and he said there's no need to rush into these things.

I mean, if there's a problem, we can push back the ceremony.

Benjamin, I do not like being patronized!

I don't care if we have to roll this gurney down the aisle!

Tomorrow, we are gettin' married.

Big Ben's Sporting Goods is embarking on a major expansion.

Yeah, we're about to come into a huge cash infusion.

(CHUCKLES)

WOMAN: Please try and be reasonable. Don't do it.

I swear you're important to me.

MAN: I've made my decision!

When I die, I want people to remember me.

And after tonight's plastic surgery,

I'm gonna be someone,

because I'm gonna have the biggest nose in the world.

(LOUD PARTY MUSIC PLAYING)

This place is awfully loud. You sure you wanna eat here?

Of course. You know pizza's my favorite food.

It is? Oh, fine.

Hello, uh, we'd like a table for...

Annie? Ben?

JUNIOR: Maybe I'm gettin' soft, but I just had the craziest idea.

(TRAIN WHISTLING)

(ANNIE GIGGLING)

So then Dad dropped his pants on live TV.

Of course, he lost the election.

Here's a campaign picture.

What're you jerks doing?

I was supposed to have dinner with my mom.

Quit yappin' and let 'em have a good time.

Everybody smile for your complimentary photograph.

Say "Pizzariffic."

Smile for your complimentary photograph.

Oh, boy, baby!

When you're with me, it's first class all the way.

You notice how we went to the restaurant, they let us right in?

We didn't have to wait.

It's not like the restaurants you go to,

where you have to talk into the clown's face.

It's not like that at all.

Later on, we'll go home and I'll put on the Zorro outfit.

Ha-ha!

Well, here's to an evening we'll never forget.

It's them! Who?

It's him and it's her, and they're together!

And he has this flatulence problem and he's eating a pizza,

and it's her and they're together! Hey, it's Peabody.

I hate that guy. He's got such a grating voice.

Yeah.

I'll shut him up.

Oh! Oh, here, let me.

Terrible kids! Just terrible. (KIDS LAUGHING)

MR. PEABODY: Oh, I'm sorry.

Hey, that's pretty good. Let me try.

You rotten kids! You should be locked in cages!

You can't talk to them like that.

Screw you, pal! I can talk about anybody however I want!

(GASPS) Ha-ha!

(GRUNTS)

Hey!

(GRUNTS) Yeah!

(GROANS IN DISGUST)

Oh, two can play at this game!

(GASPS)

Let's get 'em!

Keep it moving. Come on! Let's go!

Hey, quit pushin'! It wasn't our fault.

I got hit in the head with an egg.

Just get out of here! And, you can never come back to Pizzariffic again!

Oh, that's a big loss. Yeah, we said "no olives."

Ah, did everybody get enough to eat? (LAUGHS) Yeah.

Annie, you look like you could use some dessert.

No, I mean it. Right around here.

Your dad's pretty funny.

He takes after me, you know.

Junior, I'm sorry I hit you with a fire hose.

That's okay. I'm sorry I made you barf on the Crazy Dance.

(CHUCKLES)

Right in her face.

You know, I think your dad likes my mom.

Normally when a guy does that,

I run him over with a car or knock him down the stairs.

I gotta look out for her.

But your dad, he doesn't bug me that much.

You know, your mom doesn't bother me that much either.

Pals?

Pals.

(SIREN WAILING)

(SIGHS)

Oh, my, my arms.

My arms are free.

Oh, my Lord.

What's wrong with my face?

What is this?

Oh.

Oh.

Oh!

(SCREAMING) I'm Pinocchio!

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

Good, you made it.

Yeah, why'd you want me to come over so late?

You know how you said you liked my dad? Yeah.

I have the weirdest idea. (SNORING)

I think our parents should get married!

What are you talking about?

Your dad's already taken.

Well, you know, he might be having a slight change of plans.

(NIPPY GROWLING)

Oh, great! Big Ben's up.

Who are you?

And you should be in bed.

Rested up for tomorrow's wedding.

There ain't gonna be no wedding.

I made Lawanda so ugly, no one's gonna want to marry her.

Lawanda Dumore is the key to my financial comeback.

And nobody,

nobody is gonna stand in my way.

Nippy, where'd you go?

Looks like this guy's gonna be a problem.

No, he's not. Let's get him!

Yeah!

Oh! Ah!

Ahhh! Yeah!

(GROANING)

Ahhh!

I'm really tired.

Ah, come on. Don't wuss out.

This is the only way to get our parents together.

Now come on!

Whoa! So much bigger than it looked in Mr. Thorn's slide.

Huh.

TRIXIE: So, how do ya start this thing?

I don't know. Guess you just make a wish.

Oh, mighty Love Rock, we come to you today to ask a big favor.

We got these two parents and we want them to fall in love and get married,

so I don't get stuck with that bitch, Lawanda.

I hope this isn't asking too much, but you're a magic rock,

so you're probably used to these things.

Please help us.

Oh, Annie.

All right, Junior, get up!

It's a big day. Today you get yourself a mom.

(PHONE RINGING)

Has Junior ever run away before?

Uh, no.

(STUTTERING) It's this wedding thing. It's got him upset.

I'm sorry he had to drag Trixie into this.

Oh, don't let Trixie off the hook that easily.

I mean, she's usually responsible for her share of the action.

Maybe, but I know Junior, he can be the biggest menace who ever lived.

Whoa! Maybe he was a nuisance in that little town you're from,

but now you're in Mortville,

and around here Trixie runs the show.

Look, she's an amateur. Nobody has caused the amount of destruction Junior has.

I don't know. I guess this is a stupid thing to argue about.

ANNIE: There they are.

Aw, will you look at that.

Hey, guys, good morning!

Hey!

The Love Rock worked.

Up and at 'em, Junior. Let's go.

Attaboy.

(SIGH ING)

So, um, do you need a ride home?

No, I think we're going to take a little walk

and have a little talk.

Besides, you've probably got millions of things to do today.

Yeah, I guess I do have plans.

So, um, see ya.

Typical Little Ben, you always wait the last damn minute.

Hey, Dad, don't you wanna go see Lawanda?

No, Junior, there's a tradition.

The groom is not allowed to see the bride before the ceremony.

But, but... But, but, my ass!

Beat it, we're busy.

JUNIOR: Oh, no! If Dad doesn't see Lawanda's big schnoz, I'm screwed!

(WEDDING MARCH PLAYING)

(SIGHS)

Oh!

SMITH: Miss Dumore!

BIG BEN: You all right, darlin'?

Dad, look at her face!

Hey, what happened?

Thought you had me licked, huh?

Well, it's amazing what $382,000 worth of last-minute double-overtime

plastic surgery can do!

Benjamin, what's the hold up?

Uh, uh... Fine.

BIG BEN: Come on. Sit down, kid.

Hit it, Padre!

Dearly beloved, we are gathered today

on this day of joy,

to unite these two wonderful people.

No!

Dad, don't do it!

Go for it, Little Ben! Make me proud, ah!

(SIGHING) We are gathered together

on this day of joy

to unite you two wonderful peo... (HORN HONKING)

Who the hell is that?

That's my pal, Trixie!

(HORN HONKING)

I hate children!

They ruin everything!

If I had enough power, I'd wipe them off the face of the Earth!

(NEIGHING)

(CROWD SCREAMING)

Yeah!

(TRIXIE LAUGH ING MANIACALLY)

Junior!

All right!

Nippy!

(NIPPY GROWLING) Oh, God!

No, Ms. Dumore! No!

I command you to stop!

Trixie! You come down here right this minute!

Uh!

Oh my, how many times have I told you not to operate heavy machinery?

Annie!

Ben, I am so sorry. I couldn't stop her.

We ruined your whole wedding. This wedding was meant to be ruined.

Ben... Annie, you're the one I want.

What?

Yeah! We did it!

What in the hell are you doin'?

You got to go back and scrape your lovely bride off the ground.

Dad! I don't wanna marry Lawanda!

I've found someone else.

Who cares what you've found?

Lawanda Dumore is a gold mine. She's worth millions.

Look, Dad, if you like her so much, you marry her!

(CASH REGISTER DINGS)

Yeah! (CHUCKLES)

Why not?

Thanks, buddy.

Dad, I wouldn't have done it for anyone else.

(BARKING)

(STRAINING)

Here, let me help you.

One...

(GRUNTING) Two, three!

(SOBBING)

Whoa!

Let me help you.

Not you, dummy!

LAWANDA: Oh! Ow!

Come on. Come on! (GRUNTING)

Get your mitts off me!

I hate your whole family.

Oh, honey, come here.

I'm not like them.

I'm different.

I love you.

You said you love me?

BOTH: Yuck!

(EXPLOSION)

(BARKING)

Yeah!

(FLATULENCE)

Nippy! (BARKING)

Oh, my God!

(SAVED BY LOVE PERFORMED BY RIK EMMETT)

Saved by love Saved by love

I've been lonely way too long

I've been saved by love Saved by love

The miracle of love has set me free

Saved by love Lonely way too long

Saved by love Saved by love

And I know

Love won't let me

Love don't let me go

Saved by love Saved by love

I've been lonely way too long

I've been saved by love Saved by love

And I know

Love

Don't let me go

Whoa, no!

You came along and you rescued me

The miracle of love has set me free

Oh, set me free

Out on the borderline

Somewhere between heart and mind

Just tryin' to make it through okay

Caught in a battleground

Resistance is wearing down

Just couldn't face another day

Oh, but then, you came my way

And I was saved by love Saved by love

I've been lonely way too long

I've been saved by love Saved by love

And I know

This love won't let me go

Facing the world alone

Out there in the great unknown

But every turn just turns out wrong

And then you came along

When hope and faith were almost gone

You gave me the strength to carry on

You were the one that I could count upon

And I was saved by love Saved by love

I've been lonely way too long

I was saved by love Saved by love

And I know

Love

Don't let me go

Whoa, no!

Saved by love Saved by love

I've been lonely way too long

Came along and you rescued me

The miracle of love has set me free