All language subtitles for Call.the.Midwife.S12E02.1080p.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H264.BTN

MATURE JENNIFER: Sweet dreams

are an ideal
preface to the dawn.

We can begin in sunshine
and with purpose.

We can draw from a well

filled with rest
and possibility.

Nothing has been started,

nothing has been
spent, if we're lucky.

Each day dawns blank,

a sheet of paper
waiting for our story.

We start to create it
the moment that we wake.

More marmalade!

Do tuck in. Plenty more
where that came from.

You can say that again.

I think what Nurse
Crane means is... Well,

variety is the spice of life.

Oh. Would you like me to
make a different flavour?

OTHERS: No!

Good morning, Lucille.

Morning.

You were on my mind the
minute I woke up this morning.

I had fun and games last night

with the set of the
sleeve on your cardigan.

There's no rush.

I've a bit of a special one
for your district list today.

Mr Thomas Woodleigh.

11 Caliphate Street.

Born 1889.

It appears he took a
tumble on his front step.

Multiple sutures
in his left hand.

Dressing changes needed.

And whilst detained overnight,

he underwent a test

that suggests a degree
of macular degeneration.

So he is losing his sight.

Further tests
required, apparently,

and Mr Woodleigh is
refusing to cooperate.

See if you can get
him to trust you.

Then we can move things on.

Ah... Hands up everyone who
remembered their PE kit.

GIRLS: Me!

Hands up everybody taking
tadpoles for the nature table.

Me!

GLASS CLINKS

Hands up everyone
with a delivery bag

and wearing a nurse's uniform.

ALL LAUGH

I'm sorry.

I was looking for something
to donate to the raffle.

Ah! This is perfect.

Well, that was a present
from a grateful patient.

Why can't you give them
that Liebfraumilch?

It's been sitting
there since New Year.

The Liebfraumilch?

Oh, I don't think so.

I'm sure we'll have a
use for it at some point.

And we never drink whisky.

What's that?

It's the girls' measurements
for their maypole costumes.

All I have to do is drop
them off with Miss Nadine.

Mmm...

Teddy, do not take the lid
off that Tupperware box.

OTHERS LAUGH

Sister, I collected the
urn from the Florrie.

Where shall I leave it?

SISTER JULIENNE:
Thank you, Cyril.

In my view, it should
remain in the Florrie.

And Sister Julienne should
entertain her friends there.

It's an opportunity to
give first-time mothers

some practical advice in
a less formal environment.

And I hope they enjoy
each other's company.

I intuit the hand
of Sister Veronica.

No, it's all my idea,

although I do admit
Sister Veronica's arrival

has lifted my spirits

and freed me to spend more time
with the people that we serve.

This parlour is a place of
quietude and reflection...

..and the television.

I am not in favour
of this invasion.

KNOCK ON DOOR

Nurse.

You looking for Nadine? Yes.

I think she might
have popped out.

Worse than that.

HORN BEEPS TYRES SCREECH

GIGGLES

Oh, slow down, Lil!

If the boss finds out I
let you drive the van,

he'll have my guts for garters.

You worry too much.

Mwah!

EXHALES

Hello.

Miss Nadine has had
an ovary removed.

A very nasty case of
torsion, according to Sister.

Oh, no. The neighbour
said she was screaming

as they carried her
into the ambulance.

Well, she will be
on female surgical

for at least a fortnight,

and may then need to
convalesce away from home.

I believe her little girl
is staying with a friend,

but I've no idea who's looking
after the dancing school.

Unmarried ladies are often
extremely resourceful.

I imagine she has a plan
in place for all disasters.

I know she hasn't
a plan in place

for the maypole
dance at Whitsuntide.

I'd refer it to the committee,

but now she's in hospital
and Violet's away,

the committee is really just me.

LAUGHS Come on. Let's
get out of here.

Who... Who is it?

District nurse calling.

The cut is healing
nicely, Mr Woodleigh.

You'll be getting
these stitches out

by the end of the week. Ah.

Can you get the smell of
milk out of me trousers

while you're at it?

- CHUCKLES - I made a
right fool of meself

tripping over that crate.

Glass everywhere.

Gold top everywhere!

Gold top?

I like your style.

Oh, I've got this grandson,
done well for himself.

He pays the milkman for me.

Yeah, keeps me in
biscuits an' all.

There's a tin here
somewhere. Oh, on the table.

That's them.

He gets some Royal Appointment
shop up west to deliver 'em.

Classy.

Some of 'em are rock hard

and I can't dip 'em in me tea

cos they're covered
in chocolate.

You're lucky to have family
around you, Mr Woodleigh.

Depends what you mean by around.

I've never been to
my grandson's house.

The one who sends
you the biscuits?

Uh-huh. And the rest.

They've just gone.

Gone where?

No-one is forcing me out
of Poplar or this house.

I worked them wharves
for near 60 years.

You were a docker?

Oh, um...

Oh... Here, make us
a cuppa tea, Nurse.

I mean, I'd do it, only I
reckon my hand won't let me.

CONTENTED SIGH

Everyone here has expressed
an interest in attending

a breast-feeding demonstration,

therefore Mrs Wade has kindly
brought baby Simon in today.

SIMON GURGLES

WOMEN: Aw...

Luckily for us, he sounds as
though he's rather hungry.

LAUGHTER

Those little contented noises

they make when
they're feeding...

A bit like my old man when
he's got his Sunday lunch.

Your bodies will change rapidly

as you approach
the birth itself.

That can cause some
breast tenderness.

Do you want one
of your biscuits?

Not really.

Oh, tea! Your
grandson might be hurt

if he came to visit and thought
you weren't enjoying them.

He won't visit.

Are there any Marie biscuits?

No, I'm afraid they're
all a bit more superior.

I like a Marie biscuit.

Mr Woodleigh, I'll be coming
back to check on your hand

until we take the stitches out.

But you know we're
going to have to address

the trouble with your
eyesight, too, don't you?

I manage.

It's like I'm looking
through a window

that's been badly cleaned.

A great dark streak
across the middle.

Is it like that now?

Can you see me?

Well, not if you move about.

Can you describe me?

Nurse's dress...

I don't think you're a Londoner.

But that might just be
the sound of your voice.

You've got a nice voice.

Thank you.

I'm going to speak to the
occupational therapists.

We'll see what they can do
to make life easier for you.

My life isn't hard.

Thank you, Sister.

That was ever so nice.

Oh, I'm glad you enjoyed
it, Mrs Reynolds.

I'm Lilian.

Lilian.

I didn't like to mention
it in front of everyone,

but one of my bosoms
is really sore.

Just one? Yes. Sore
and... I don't know.

As if it's a bit hot.

Why don't we take a look
at it in clinic tomorrow?

I'm sure we can put
your mind at ease.

Flower...

I'm sorry I'm late.

Don't worry.

Did they keep you in the office?

No. But I had to go
and see Brother Selwyn

and Sister Meryl.

They're being evicted
from their flat.

But they've just done
all those repairs

and got it all spruced up.

And their neighbours
objected to their presence.

That is against the law.

We all know that.

They're going to stay
with his family in Brixton

and look for a new home there.

Perhaps there's
safety in numbers.

There's no safety anywhere.

Lucille, have faith.

And if you can't have faith,

will you just allow me to
tell you something nice?

Please tell me something nice.

I've booked a telephone
call home to Jamaica.

To Jamaica? When?

Tomorrow night.

But it isn't even Christmas
or anybody's birthday.

How did you even manage to
do it without me finding out?

I'm just very good at
keeping a neutral expression

and secrets.

If I took up poker, I
might even make some money.

LOW CHATTER

Good afternoon.

What on earth happened
nine months ago?

Must have been a power cut!

Lilian?

Me and my husband can't wait.

Am I still on course to
have it at home, Doctor?

Absolutely.

Baby, blood pressure,
urine, they're all spot-on.

Everything is as it
should be in that regard.

And I can still do the splits.

LAUGHS NERVOUSLY

Well, probably.

I haven't tried since I've
been in the family way.

- LAUGHS - I would hope not!

I was a Redcoat.

I worked at a holiday camp.

That's how I met my Ronnie.

I was entertainment,

he was maintenance.

Well, they do say
opposites attract.

Doctor, Mrs Reynolds - Lilian
- raised a concern about

some discomfort with her breast.

I wondered if we might take a
look at it before she leaves.

Of course.

Goodness. That does look sore.

I wondered this morning
if it was my bra.

I've just changed soap powders.

Lilian is getting dressed.

I think the speed with
which you referred her

to St Cuthbert's has
shaken her a little.

I haven't much choice.

The skin feels warm as
though there's an infection,

but she doesn't
have a temperature

and it's extremely
unlikely that it's mastitis

because she's still pregnant.

She's very keen to breast-feed.

Well, let's get the
girl some answers.

The wedding photographs

were the best wedding
photographs I have ever seen.

I have such a beautiful frame

for the one of Celine and Edwin.

Tell her I will send her
a photo of the photograph.

EXCITED CHATTER

What do you mean, wait
till I hear the news?

Yes, of course I will act
surprised when she tells me.

That is lovely.

And so soon after the wedding!

We will be needing an
even bigger photo frame.

Celine is having a
baby. Oh, alleluia!

Praise Jesus.

Cyril says alleluia,
praise Jesus.

PHONE REPLACED

Lucille...

Lucille.

Lucille!

Our time will come.

Here, I wouldn't mind
her giving me a bedbath!

- TUTS - Ronnie!

I've never known anyone who
could lower the tone like you.

Mrs Reynolds, you
can come through.

You can wait here, sir.

Oh.

KNOCK ON DOOR

Morning, Mr Woodleigh. Ah!

Here I come, all
bright and breezy.

You... You don't sound
bright and breezy.

I'll have a look at your hand,

then I'll take you through the
appointments we've arranged

about your eyesight.

You'll need to
open them curtains

or you'll not be able to
see what you're about.

The curtains are wide
open, Mr Woodleigh.

And it's a sunny day.

Is it?

Oh. I can't see anything
all of a sudden.

All of a sudden?

GASPS

Not on this side.

I thought X-rays were for
looking at your bones,

not your bosoms.

Oh, you'd be surprised
what we get up to.

MACHINE BUZZES AND CLICKS

I've never heard of
anyone having a biopsy.

I'm not even sure what it is.

It'll all be over in two ticks.

And you really can't
see anything at all

out of the left one now?

Drops! That's what
you need to give me.

Eye drops will put it right.

I wish they could.

The trouble is, Mr Woodleigh, I
think you've had some bleeding

at the back of your eye.

Is that this maculitis
they've said I've got?

Macular degeneration.

Yes, I think so.

Well, we need to get
you to a specialist

before we can be sure.

SIGHS

Mr Woodleigh already has
an appointment booked

at the eye hospital
in a fortnight's time.

I wouldn't mind getting
this looked at sooner.

The thing is,
Tommy, at your age,

macular degeneration
usually progresses slowly.

It just creeps up on you,

but it can make sudden
lunges forward like this.

I reckon an ambulance
ride is in order.

GROANS

Good morning, Cyril.

Is Fred about? Oh, I'm
standing in for him

while he drives Violet
to the railway station.

Well, I hope she has a
lovely holiday in Jersey

with the Lady
Haberdasherers' Forum.

Meanwhile, since
I've had no choice

but to take over
the organisation

of the Whitsun event
from Miss Nadine,

I'm refreshing everyone's memory

regarding their
responsibilities.

This is for Fred.

Kindly draw his attention
to it when he returns.

Of course. All hands on deck.

I've put you in charge
of the maypole -

retrieval, refurbishment
and safe installation.

Er, consider me at your service.

All I can say, Cyril,

is I wish there
were more like you.

Next the raffle.

Your razor and your
toothbrush are in this bag.

You hang on to it now.

I'll only get in that ambulance

if you promise me I'm
coming home again.

Of course you're coming home.

They'll only keep you
in for a night or two.

I need to be where I belong.

Even if you can't see
home, you can smell it.

Well, we've had a
day-and-a-half of it

at the maternity home.

Two deliveries

and then a very weepy
admission for bed rest.

Gladys Prior.

Have you had a day
of it too, lass?

Today, I had to look after
an old man who has no family

and is almost completely blind.

Tommy Woodleigh?

The trick is to remind yourself

of what you've
actually done to help.

Now, you've heard, because
Miss Nadine is poorly,

there's been some changes
to the maypole display.

No costumes, just Sunday
best with white hair ribbons.

Auntie Shelagh says she'll lend
me a party dress of Angela's.

Well, I've got news for you.

There's no need.

COLETTE GASPS

- GIGGLES - Is this for me?

Go on and try it on.

That's an expensive
little boutique.

Matthew bought a sailor
suit for Jonty from there.

He said his wallet
needed gas and air!

Once in a while doesn't hurt.

And I want Colette to know
she's as good as anybody else.

That's not how you take
somebody's pulse, Cyril.

Maybe I just like touching you.

Reminding me that the girl
I love is still in there,

that her heart's still
beating like it always did.

I'm not dead, Cyril.

So get up.

I'll pour you some coffee.

You can face the day.

There's a stain on my dress.

I keep meaning to deal with it.

I'll get you a damp cloth.

I was hoping for a punctual
start this morning.

Is there any other kind?

PHONE RINGS

Apparently so, if one
is a health visitor.

Perhaps Sister Veronica's
concerns are less pressing.

RINGING CONTINUES

Should I answer that?

No. You are not a telephonist.

This is Nonnatus House.

There is no-one here
to attend to you.

Meanwhile, there
has been no comment

about the uncharacteristic
tardiness of Nurse Robinson.

It is four minutes
past the hour.

Latecomers are my domain,
and I shall deal with them.

Good morning, Sister Julienne.

Greetings.

Good morning, Sister. I
feel it might be appropriate

for you to pop in on Lilian
Reynolds this morning.

She was on the
telephone first thing,

fretting about a
home delivery pack.

I thought she
sounded very on edge.

Of course.

She's due a routine urine test,

and I'd like to check
on her biopsy site.

Sister, do you not find it funny

taking orders like
the rest of us?

No. I'm simply a midwife
amongst midwives.

Makes me happier than I can say.

I'm sorry about
the mess, Sister.

My husband's like a little kid -

always taking things apart
to see how they work.

As long as he puts them
back together again.

He only does that
when people pay him.

When it's our own belongings,

it's like he only does it
to satisfy his curiosity.

This biopsy seems to
be healing very nicely.

My skin's still really
sore and itchy, though.

Lilian, a biopsy is a test,
not a form of treatment.

Did the specialist not
explain that to you?

He was quite breezy, really.

He said it looked a bit naughty

and it wasn't usual
to see breast tissue

looking like orange peel,
all dimpled and whatnot.

Did you ask him what he
thought the problem might be?

I didn't really
ask him anything.

I just wanted to get my bra
back on and out of there.

I didn't feel comfortable
without my underpinnings.

I was never that
sort of entertainer.

So often these days, now
that medicine can do so much,

doctors investigate
simply because they can.

And the results can
be very reassuring.

I do hope so, Sister,

because I've had a
call to go and see him

at the hospital this afternoon.

It's my Ronnie.

Come to pick me up.

Mrs Wallace.

I'm so glad you could come.

Many apologies if I smell of
disinfectant, Nurse Crane.

I've come straight
from the hospital.

I probably smell of
sterilising fluid.

My last act on duty

was to make up a
dozen baby bottles.

We both know why we're
here, Mrs Wallace.

Lucille is so loved
by so many people.

But she is going further
and further downhill.

And it breaks my
heart to see it.

She needs help, Mrs Wallace.

You mean medical help?

That may become a requirement...

..but Lucille sets such
store by her religion.

I was wondering if there
might be some comfort

in her faith for her.

There's always comfort
in faith, Nurse Crane.

The trouble comes when
you stop believing that.

Please, will you try and
find a way through for her?

Nurse Crane, that is
what a church is for.

You leave it with me.

It might be that
nurse you fancy.

TUTS AND SIGHS

You ought to ask her, has
she anything wants mending.

DOOR OPENS

Do come through, Mrs Reynolds.

Oh, and Mr Reynolds too.

MUSIC ON TV

I've come round with my
begging bowl, Sister.

Have you anything for
the Whitsun raffle?

I have often had cause

to wish we lived in
a less godly society.

For wherever there is altruism,

there is invariably a raffle.

Marmalade!

And plenty of it.

Good gracious.
Someone's been busy.

There must be a
year's supply in here.

The gesture is not entirely
devoid of self-interest.

SISTER MONICA JOAN GIGGLES

Want a cuppa tea, Lil?

I don't know.

I don't know, Ronnie.

I don't know what's happened.
I don't know what he said.

It was like my blood
was rushing in my ears,

drowning his voice out.

He was smiling, wasn't he?

He can't have been
saying anything that bad.

He was saying you
got cancer, Lil.

I can't have cancer.

Cancer is a lump, and
I haven't got a lump.

And I'm having a baby.

Nobody gets cancer
when they're pregnant.

SIGHS

Miss Higgins,

I think I need to speak to
Mr Sawyer at St Cuthbert's.

He's just written to me about
Lilian Reynolds' diagnosis.

It's a really rare type of
cancer involving inflammation.

I've never come
across this before.

I'll seek to connect
you immediately.

But perhaps you'd like to
take the call in your office,

after which you can
confer with Mr Reynolds.

We, uh...

We thought you might
know what's happening.

Where's Lilian?

She's at home.

She was too upset
to leave the house.

I would like to be connected
to Mr Sawyer, please,

consultant general surgeon.

Mr Sawyer took me
through your diagnosis

step by step.

Could you understand
what he was saying?

Some doctors are better at
talking to other doctors

than they are to people.

I'm sorry if he didn't make
things clear enough to you.

Your variant of breast
cancer is very, very unusual.

He's only ever seen
one case before.

It is cancer, then?

I'm afraid it is, Lilian.

He only ever said
that word once.

He used all kinds of other words

like problem and
malignancy and disease,

but he only said cancer once.

I was hoping it was
a slip of the tongue.

And I haven't got a lump.

It's just sore.

Mr Sawyer recommends
that you start treatment

as soon as possible.

And we will be with you
every step of the way.

But I'm having a baby.

How can I feed my baby if
they cut my breast off?

You won't have a mastectomy.

It isn't suitable for
this kind of cancer.

The best treatment at the
moment is radiotherapy.

Mr Woodleigh...

I know that voice.

I thought you was
the district nurse.

I am.

But I was passing
by on my way home

and I thought you might like
a packet of Marie biscuits.

Oh, now you're talking.

It's not much, but I thought
you might not have anyone

to bring you anything.

Well, they're all so far away.

I'll write to them
when I get home,

tell them the good news.

Have you had good news?

Oh, not about me eyes.

They say I'll never
get me sight back.

No, the good news'll be that
I'm back in my own house.

And writing letters.

A man can dream.

Yes.

Wh-What do you dream of?

I can't tell you, Mr Woodleigh.

It might not come
true otherwise.

They'll be bringing
the tea soon.

You enjoy your biscuits.

Shelagh, are you ready?

Excellent. I need another B.

You come in here between
Sister Veronica and Nancy.

Right, everyone
extend your free arm.

What are we doing?
Don't interrupt.

Now, Team A are going to process

in a clockwise direction,

and Team B anticlockwise.

Am I A or B?

You're the maypole.

Don't we all just go
in the same direction?

Not according to
these excellent,

if not quite complicated,

instructions Miss
Nadine's provided.

What do we do next? If
I've read this correctly,

the As go underneath
the B's extended arm,

then the next B and so on.

Shall we give it a go?

JAUNTY MUSIC

One, two, three and...

Clockwise, Nancy!

THUD

BOTH GROAN

Don't forget to skip.

DR TURNER LAUGHS

OTHERS LAUGH

It's not funny.

I've got to teach this to
Miss Nadine's Dance School.

Oh, can you not teach
them the twist instead?

I know that one.

Lil!

Sister Julienne's here.

Have you come about the
baby or about the cancer?

That's not a question anyone
should have to ask, is it?

But I can answer it.

I've come about you.

First and foremost,
I am your midwife,

and my overwhelming concern

is for your wellbeing
and for that of the baby.

But the cancer specialist
wants radiation to start

within the next two weeks,
so he has asked if the baby

can be induced in hospital.

I wanted to have it here at home

with Ronnie holding my hand.

An appointment has
been made for you

on the maternity ward at
St Cuthbert's on Monday.

I'm not ready.

I'm just not ready.

I used to have a whole routine
before I went on stage.

I'd line up my tap shoes
and my ballet shoes.

I'd have a particular way
of setting out everything -

eyelashes, panstick, lipstick.

Getting pretty was
part of the performance

and getting ready
is part of this.

I'm so sorry.

We haven't even
thought of a name.

SISTER JULIENNE SIGHS

So... no home birth
for Lilian Reynolds.

Oh...

And I suppose that
decision was made for her

without consultation
or agreement,

and certainly not
with her approval.

All I could do was pass on the
news as kindly as possible.

I saw this day after day

when I was looking after
my godmother Daphne.

It's as though cancer
is this monstrous bully,

this great dictator whose
voice must be heard first,

who must be considered
before all else,

and very often before the
wishes of the patient.

And we're not used
to that, are we?

Hmm.

The mother is at the
heart of everything we do.

It's kind of you to offer to
pray with us, Mrs Wallace,

but I'm not sure we
should force the issue,

given Lucille's state of mind.

Lucille's state of mind
is forcing the issue.

The girl is under
spiritual attack

and you are her pastor
as well as her husband!

I know I am.

And that doesn't make
things any easier.

All we're going to do is pray.

You don't have to anoint her,

you don't have to
lay hands on her.

You just have to give
the Holy Spirit a chance!

I have given the Holy
Spirit every chance.

I have given him the chance

to make me feel welcome
in this country.

I have given him the chance
to put a child inside my body.

I have given him opportunity
after opportunity,

and either he has failed me

or I have failed in his grace...

That is impossible,
Lucille. If you think that,

then you can't see me clearly.

Or perhaps you
aren't even looking.

DOOR SLAMS

You're going to have to come
and live with us, Grandad.

Harlow is not the moon.

You don't need an oxygen
helmet or even vaccinations.

I seen it on the newsreel
when they built it.

There was cows. There's
more concrete now

than there is down
the Commercial Road.

You'll feel right at home.

Mr Woodleigh.

Oh, is that my
little foreign nurse?

SIGHS

I came to ask for
your permission

to admit the occupational
therapist to your house

so she can assess you for aids.

Hey, hear that? My house.

No-one's telling me where
I can or can't live.

Not my granddaughters.
Not my daughters. No-one.

Is this your family?

Some of us.

My mum's gone out for a
smoke in the day room.

I thought you didn't
have any family,

apart from the one who
sends you the posh biscuits.

My grandad's a bigger
liar than Pinocchio.

He's got three
daughters, 11 grandkids,

including Simon,
the biscuit monitor.

And these are his youngest
great-grandchildren.

LAUGHS

You all left Poplar
without a backward glance!

Which suited you
down to the ground.

You can't take somebody's
independence off them

if they're alone in the world.

Hold Nicole for a minute.
I need to get her a bottle.

What about Harold?

It's a good, solid name.

For somebody's grandad!

I want something modern.

Paul, then.

Or John.

You can't get much more
modern than a Beatle.

What if it's a girl?

How about Yoko?

LILIAN GASPS

Are you in discomfort, Lilian?

It's them practice contractions.

She gets loads of them.

It's just that your blood
pressure's up a tiny bit.

And that can happen
when you're in labour.

If I'm in labour, you're going
to make me go to hospital.

Nonnatus House.
Midwife speaking.

She's four fingers dilated
already and doing well.

Sister, if we can't
put her first,

who will?

GROANS

Midwife! May I come in?

Step right in.

Perfect timing.

Lilian's waters just broke, and
we needed to change the bed.

Well done.

You're going to make me

go to St Cuthbert's
now, aren't you?

Because of the cancer.

Just for tonight, the
cancer is not relevant.

You are going to
have the baby here.

Here? At home?

If that's what you choose.

I do choose it.

CHILDREN LAUGH AND SHOUT

Where is Mrs Turner?

Oh, she's caught up at
work, most probably.

Those babies don't work to
the same time clock as we do.

I hope she hurries up.

This is like being
stuck inside a migraine.

STICK BANGS LOUDLY

Cease this at once!

I came to watch a rehearsal
of the maypole dancing,

not a re-enactment of
the Battle of Agincourt.

GASPS

Baby's head is
advancing, Lilian.

Well done.

Yes, that's my
girl! Oh, shut up.

I need to concentrate.

Another one?

STRAINS

Lilian, I'm going to
apply some pressure

to prevent baby's head from
being born too quickly.

Now give me a
steady, steady push.

And pant.

LILIAN PANTS

And here's your reward.

Baby's head. Really?

Well done, sweetie.

Can I touch it? Is it real?

Ah, yes. Now use the pain.

BABY CRIES

You have a daughter.

A girl?

I told you.

The most beautiful
baby I have ever seen.

We won't be calling
her Harold, anyway.

She's absolute perfection.

So I can't think of a better
name for her than Lilian.

Lilian's old-fashioned.

It's a name from the past.

My mum's name. Her mum's.

Andrea.

Andrea Lilian Reynolds.

Put Lilian in the middle,
where she won't lose it.

- PANTS - I'm so sorry.

There was a forceps
delivery. Don't worry.

JAUNTY MUSIC

It all worked out.

One and two and three and four.

That is magnificent, class.

Sister Monica Joan!

Why didn't you tell us you
knew the maypole dance?

You omitted to enquire!

Mr Woodleigh chose
to isolate himself.

It was his way of saying, "The
world no longer suits me."

'Tis turning in a
way I do not choose,

so I will stand
still, shut the door.

I thought you said
you liked him.

Perhaps he saw himself in me.

He knew I was mourning for
home. He heard it in my voice.

I hear it in your voice.

I see it in your eyes.

Even when they're closed

and your lashes come
halfway down your cheek.

Do you remember dancing
outside in the dark

when I was mending
Nurse Crane's car?

I remember you picking
me up on that motorbike

that you borrowed
for our first date.

And you in your tiny yellow
dress and your giant hair.

Giant expensive hair
blowing all over the place.

I got in that
sidecar next to you

and I thought,

"This is the
beginning of a journey

"and I don't know where
it's going to end."

And I put my foot on that
kick-starter and I thought,

"This is it.

"I'm never getting
off this ride."

I have to get better, Cyril.

In the morning, I'm
going to the doctor.

Thank you.

Lilian, dear.

We need you to take these pills.

What are they?

They're called Stilboestrol

and they will prevent
you from lactating.

It would be better if
we stop any milk flow

before the radiotherapy begins.

It wouldn't be good
for Andrea, would it?

Feeding off a breast
that's diseased,

never mind full of radiation.

Can I ask you a question?

I want you to.

Do you think God
is punishing me?

I haven't always
lived a virtuous life.

In fact, I've never
lived a virtuous life.

I don't believe in
a God that punishes.

The God I know is full of love.

He's got a funny way of
showing it sometimes.

I can fix just about
anything, but I can't fix her.

I can't imagine a
world without her.

- SOBS - I can't imagine
bringing up a baby - on me own.

Please don't imagine that yet.

Lilian's about to
start treatment.

And no-one will tell us
it's going to cure her.

And I can't either.

But I can tell you to hope.

Men don't look after babies,
not without their wives.

Oh, I promise you, they do.

And they do it well.

But it isn't just the
baby that needs you now.

It's Lilian, too.

She hasn't stopped
being your wife

just because she's a mother
or because she's ill.

I wish, um...

I wish I knew more about babies.

They're much less complicated
than television sets,

I assure you.

CHUCKLES

Good morning, Nurse Robinson.

Oh, good morning, Miss Higgins.

Would it be possible
for me to see Dr Turner?

And what is it regarding?

I need to speak to him
about something personal.

I wasn't sure if you'd
put your white coat on,

if you'd treat me as a
physician or like a friend.

I can be either...

..because I'm both.

I have such a lot of friends.

Even my husband is my friend,

and they've all tried to
help me and got nowhere.

I think I want you
to be my doctor.

That's all right.

And from everything you've
told me about your feelings,

even your physical symptoms -

the lethargy,

the headaches -

medical intervention
is what you need.

I know the way through
these woods, Lucille.

Now, before we move on...

..I have to ask
you one last thing.

Have you found yourself
thinking of hurting yourself?

Yes.

Yesterday.

I went walking.

I stood by the road. I
stared at the traffic.

I stared at the road, thinking
maybe it could take me home.

In what way?

If I died on it.

MUSIC: All My Love (Solo
Tu) By Cliff Richard

♪ All my love

♪ Came to nothing
at all, my love... ♪

MUSIC PLAYS OVER SPEECH

♪ When I woke up to find

♪ You were no longer mine

♪ All my love

♪ Thrown away
after all this time

♪ Now there's no place for
me in the future you see

♪ I don't understand you

♪ I've done all I can do

♪ Tell me how could
I give you more

♪ More than all my love... ♪

Is it the Valium
helping her to sleep?

Rest is the best thing in this
phase of a nervous breakdown.

A nervous breakdown,
it seems like...

..such a big thing
for her to have.

It's an overwhelming thing.

But we will look after
her, and it will pass.

I was afraid I would lose her.

I started to think
she was already lost.

I've no doubt she
thought the same.

But... Lucille is
still inside Lucille.

And we will bring her out again.

Lil!

How was it?

Quick.

It might not be so bad,

even if I do have to go
every few days for a bit.

Oh... It feels like
I've got sunburn.

That may become a little
more intense over time.

Sit down and rest.

LILIAN SIGHS

BABY CRIES

She needs a bottle.

All in hand!

CLEARS HIS THROAT

Oh, and guess what?
Took her to the clinic.

She's put on 5oz.

You took her to the clinic
for the first time without me?

Yeah.

I thought I might as well
get into the swing of things.

You'd think I was dead already!

FOOTSTEPS APPROACH

Are you getting up?

I've made an appointment
to get my hair done.

I'm determined to go,

even if I have to come
straight back to bed.

Good girl, because
one way or another,

you're going to be
wanting to look your best.

A ticket to Jamaica?

An open return. For you.

I can't go, because
I can't leave my job.

But you have sick leave.

So I took the money
out of our savings.

We're saving to buy a house.

We'll have a house one day.

But now... you must go.

Before you ask, I'm not
going anywhere nice.

I just want to look...

better. Better enough so
people stop treating me

like I'm on my
way out. Lilian...

I know my chances aren't good,

but just for now, I'm not going
to ask you any more about them.

Lilian, I am so sorry if we
were overstepping the mark.

We only meant to help.

Look at me.

That was me.

I gave it all up to be a
mother, and I was glad to.

But cancer has taken
more than that,

and it's not going to stop
until it's taken everything.

I understand... You don't.

How could you
possibly understand?

You threw away everything
that made you a woman.

You didn't want it.

Covered it up. You denied it.

And what I can't deny is
how much I have hurt you.

I can only beg for
your forgiveness.

You look like a woman in great
want of a galvanising beverage.

I hid a swiss roll at
the back of the larder.

Lilian's needs...

are very complex, Sister.

You mustn't exhaust yourself
trying to care for her.

It's never a burden
to love or give.

I know that.

That doesn't mean
it isn't tiring.

And it doesn't mean that
I don't make mistakes.

No. To the left a bit.

A bit more.

A bit more...

That's it.

Oh... Now it's listing.

It's definitely
listing to one side.

I think it needs a little
more ballast at the base.

Then you will have to
get that organised.

It is clearly unsafe.

In fact, it is the
most perilous erection

I've ever seen.

BABY CRIES

BABY SCREAMS

KNOCK ON DOOR

Oh... I-I-I've done
everything I can think of.

She won't feed.

She doesn't need
a fresh nappy...

Lilian, she won't
come out the bedroom.

Shh-shh.

CRYING CONTINUES

Lilian...

Your baby needs you.

CRYING LESSENS

She was calling for you,

for her mother, and
only her mother will do.

I said terrible things to you.

I... I don't wish I'd
led a different life.

But your body,

your brave, enduring body

has done unimaginable things.

And it's doing things now
that I can only wonder at.

You do things that I
can only wonder at.

Thank you for helping me.

NURSE CRANE: Oh...

There was a stain on the
skirt of the top one,

but I managed to get
it out in a boil wash.

I couldn't bear to put it away

unless it was
completely pristine.

And why doesn't
that surprise me?

They'll be here waiting
for you when you come home.

When I come home
from going home.

Maybe it is that
much of a puzzle.

For now, no-one's
making you choose.

I don't think I could
choose anything just now.

Dr Turner prescribed change.

Cyril bought the ticket.

Sister Julienne gave
me the time off.

I feel like a parcel
being posted somewhere.

You could choose
to give in to it,

choose to be loved, even.

Loved...

Choose to let the sun
shine down on you.

If it does turn nippy...

..there's always this.

You finished it? Oh, Phyllis.

Well, it's hardly a present.
You paid for the wool.

Now, off you pop and
finish your packing.

JAUNTY MUSIC

Congratulations, madam.

This...

Thank you, maestro.

And for our next number,

we have 31.

Next ticket, please.

CHEERING

And the final number is...

..56.

56.

I have the ticket.

Come and collect your
prize, Sister Monica Joan.

CHEERING AND LAUGHTER

It's time to say your
goodbyes, Lucille.

I don't want to.

I want to go, but I
don't want to leave

or watch them waving.

We can slip away.

Just the two of us.

Like we're going on a date.

Like we're going
on our first date.

GIGGLES Cyril, where
you get that from?

Let's just say someone
owed me a favour.

Come on.

The sooner you get to Jamaica,

the sooner you'll
be coming back.

Just when I've had my hair done.

I love you, Nurse Robinson.

I'll fetch your bags.

MATURE JENNIFER:
Nothing is written,

and no dream has a
duty to come true.

Their power is to show us
where the heart's desire lies

and what beauty really is.

A touch. A glance.

A glimpse into the future.

Lay these moments
down like treasure,

for when today becomes the past,

we are forever what we hope for

and what we must let go.

Mrs McKay?

Talbot, not McKay.

We do everything together.

I shall soon be giving
Fanny Cradock quite a run

for her money.

I meant to give
it to you earlier.

I could go weeks

not knowing where the
next meal was coming from.

The ambulance has arrived.

Please get my mum.

You were the one forcing
me to talk about this.