All language subtitles for Call the Midwife - S12E02 (2012) WEB.eng

Sweet dreams... are an ideal
preface to the dawn.

We can begin in sunshine and
with purpose.

We can draw from a well,

filled with rest
and possibility.

Nothing has been started,
nothing has been spent.

If we're lucky.

Each day dawns blank -

a sheet of
paper waiting for our story.

We start to create it the moment
that we wake.

More marmalade?

Do tuck in, plenty more where
that came from.

You can say that again.

I think what Nurse Crane means
is, well,

variety is the spice of life.

Oh. Would you like me to make a
different flavour?

No!
Oh...

Good morning, Lucille!
Morning...

You were on my mind the minute
I woke up this morning.

I had fun and games last night

with the set of the sleeve on
your cardigan.

There's no rush.

I've a bit of special one for
your district list today.

Mr Thomas Woodleigh,
11 Calafat Street. Born 1889.

It appeared he took a tumble on
his front step.

Multiple sutures in his left
hand,

dressing changes needed and
whilst detained overnight,

he underwent a test

that suggests a degree of
macular degeneration.

So, he is losing his sight?

Further tests required
apparently,

and Mr Woodleigh is refusing to
co-operate.

See if you can get him to trust
you.

Then we can move things on.

Hands up everyone who remembered
their PE kit!

Me!

Hands up everybody taking
tadpoles for the nature table!

Me!

Hands up everyone
with a delivery bag

and wearing a nurse's uniform!

Oh, I'm sorry!

I was looking for something to
donate to the raffle!

Ah, this is perfect.

Well, that was a present from a
grateful patient!

Why can't you give them that
Liebfraumilch?

It's been sitting there since
New Year.

The Liebfraumilch?
Oh, I don't think so.

I'm sure we'll have a use for it
at some point

and we never drink whisky.

What's that?

It's the girls' measurements for
their Maypole costumes!

All I have to do is drop them
off with Miss Nadine.

Teddy, do not take the lid off
that Tupperware box!

Sister, I collected the urn up
from the Florrie,

where shall I leave it?

Thank you Cyril.

In my view, it should remain in
the Florrie.

And Sister Julienne should
entertain her friends there.

It's an opportunity to give
first time mothers

some practical advice,
in a less formal environment.

And I hope they enjoy each
other's company.

I intuit the hand of Sister
Veronica.

No, it was all my idea.

Although I do admit,

Sister Veronica's arrival has
lifted my spirits

and freed me to spend more time
with the people that we serve.

This parlour is a place of
quietude and reflection...

and the television.

I am not in favour of this...

invasion!

Nurse? You looking for Nadine?
Yes.

I think she might have
popped out.

Worse than that...

Whoa! Slow down, Lil!

If the boss finds out I let you
drive the van,

he'll have my guts
for garters.

You worry too much.

Miss Nadine has had an ovary
removed.

A very nasty case of torsion,
according to Sister.

Oh, no.

The neighbour said she was
screaming

as they carried her into
the ambulance!

Well, she will be
on Female Surgical

for at least a fortnight.

And may then need to convalesce
away from home.

I believe her little girl is
staying with a friend,

but I've no idea

who's looking after the dancing
school.

Unmarried ladies are often
extremely resourceful.

I imagine she has a plan in
place for all disasters.

Well, I know she hasn't a plan
in place

for the Maypole dance at
Whitsuntide.

I'd refer it to the committee.

But now she's in hospital and
Violet's away,

the committee is really just me.

Let's get out of here.

Who is it?
District Nurse calling.

The cut is healing nicely,
Mr Woodleigh.

We'll be getting these stitches
out by the end of the week.

Can you get the smell of milk
out of me trousers

while
you're at it?

Oh, I made a right fool of
myself tripping over that crate.

Glass everywhere.
Gold top everywhere.

Gold top? I like your style.

Oh, I've got this grandson done,
well for himself.

He pays the milkman for me,
yeah.

Yeah, he keeps me in biscuits
and all.

There's a tin here, somewhere...

Oh, on the table?
Oh yeah, that's them.

He gets some Royal Appointment
shop up West to deliver 'em.

Classy.
Some of them are rock hard.

And I can't dip 'em in me tea

cause they're covered in
chocolate.

You're lucky to have family
around you, Mr Woodleigh.

Depends what you mean by
"around".

I've never been to my
grandson's house.

The one who sends you the
biscuits?

And the rest, they've just gone.

Gone where?

No one is forcing me out of
Poplar. Or this house.

I worked them wharves for near
60 years.

You were a docker?

Oh er, here, oh here,
make us a cup of tea, Nurse.

I mean, I'd do it, only I reckon
my hand won't let me.

Everyone here has expressed an
interest

in attending a
breastfeeding demonstration.

Therefore, Mrs Wade has kindly
brought baby Simon in today.

Luckily for us, he sounds as
though he's rather hungry!

Those little contented noises
they make when they're feeding.

Bit like my old man when he's
got his Sunday lunch!

Your bodies will change rapidly

as you approach the birth
itself.

That can cause some breast
tenderness.

Do you want one of your
biscuits? Er, not really.

Er, tea.

Your grandson might be hurt if
he came to visit

and thought you
weren't enjoying them.

He won't visit.
Are there any Marie biscuits?

No. I'm afraid they're all a bit
more superior.

I like a Marie biscuit.

Mr Woodleigh,

I'll be coming back to check
on your hand

until we take the stitches out.

But you know we're going to have
to address the trouble

with your eyesight too, don't
you? I manage!

It's like
I'm looking through a window

that's been badly cleaned...

with a great dark streak across
the middle.

Is it like that now?

Can you see me?
Well, not if you move about!

Can you describe me?
Nurse's dress.

And I don't think
you're a Londoner.

But that might just be the sound
of your voice.

You've got a nice voice.
Thank you.

I'm going to speak to the
occupational therapists.

We'll see what they can do to
make life easier for you.

My life isn't hard.

Thank you, Sister.
That was ever so nice.

Oh, I'm glad you enjoyed it,
Mrs Reynolds!

I'm Lilian.
Lilian.

I didn't like to mention it in
front of everyone, but...

one of my bosoms is really sore.
Just one?

Yes, sore and I don't know...
as if it's a bit hot?

Well, why don't we take a look
at it in clinic tomorrow?

I'm sure we can put your mind
at ease.

Flower, sorry I'm late!
Don't worry.

Did they keep you in the office?
No.

But I had to go and see
Brother Selwyn and Sister Mary.

They're being evicted from
their flat.

But they've just done all those
repairs

and got it all spruced up!

And their neighbours objected to
their presence.

That is against the law!
We all know that.

They're going to stay with his
family in Brixton

and look for a new home there.

Perhaps there's safety in
numbers.

There's no safety anywhere.

Lucille have faith.

And if you can't have faith,

will you just allow me tell you
something nice?

Please tell me something nice.

I've booked a telephone call
home to Jamaica.

To Jamaica? When!
Tomorrow night!

But it isn't even Christmas,
or anybody's birthday!

How did you even manage to do it
without me finding out?

I'm just very good at keeping a
neutral expression and secrets.

If I took up poker,
I might even make some money!

# #

What on earth happened nine
months ago?

Must've been a power cut.

Hello.

Lillian?

Me and my husband can't wait!

Am I still on course to have it
at home, Doctor?

Absolutely.

Baby, blood pressure,
urine, they're all spot-on.

Everything is as it should be in
that regard.

And I can still do the splits!

Well, probably.

I haven't tried since I've been
in the family way.

I would hope not!

I was a red coat.
I worked at a holiday camp.

That's how I met my Ronnie.

I was entertainment,
he was maintenance.

Well, they do say opposites
attract.

Doctor, Mrs Reynolds...

Lilian, raised a concern about
some discomfort with her breast.

I wondered if we might take a
look at it before she leaves?

Of course.

Goodness, that does look sore!

I wondered this morning if it
was my bra.

I've just changed soap powders.

Lilian is getting dressed.

I think the speed with which

you've referred her to St
Cuthbert's

has shaken her a little.

I haven't much choice.

The skin feels warm,
as though there's an infection.

But, she doesn't have a
temperature.

And it's extremely unlikely that
it's mastitis,

because she's still pregnant.

She's very keen to breastfeed.

Well, let's get the girl some
answers.

The wedding photographs

were the best wedding
photographs I have ever seen.

I have such a beautiful frame
for the one of Celine and Edwin!

Tell her we'll send her a photo
of the photograph.

What do you mean wait till I
hear the news...

Well yes, of course I will act
surprised when she tells me.

That is lovely!
And so soon after the wedding.

We will be needing an even
bigger photo frame!

Celine is having a baby.
Hallelujah. Praise Jesus.

Cyril says Hallelujah. Praise
Jesus.

Lucille. Lucille.

Lucille.

Our time will come...

Here, I wouldn't mind her giving
me a bed bath!

Ronnie! I've never known anyone

who could lower the tone like
you.

Mrs Reynolds? You can come
through.

You can wait here, Sir.
Oh...

Morning, Mr Woodleigh.

Here I come, all bright and
breezy.

You, you don't sound bright and
breezy.

I'll have a look at your
hand,

then I'll take you through the
appointments

we've arranged about your
eyesight.

Well, you'll need to open them
curtains,

or you'll not be able to
see what you're about.

The curtains are wide open,
Mr Woodleigh.

And it's a sunny day.
Is it?

Oh... Oh, I can't see
anything, all of a sudden.

All of a sudden?
Not on this side.

I thought x-rays were for
looking at your bones.

Not your bosoms.

Oh, you'd be surprised what we
get up to.

I've never heard of anyone
having a biopsy.

I'm not even sure what it is.

It will all be over in two
ticks.

And you really can't see
anything at all

out of the left one now?

Drops. That's what you need
to give me.

Eye drops'll put it right.
I wish they could.

The trouble is, Mr Woodleigh,

I think you've had some bleeding
at the back of your eye.

Is that this mac... maculitis
they said I've got or...

Macular degeneration, yes.
I think so.

Well, we need to get you to a
specialist

before we can be sure.

Mr Woodleigh already has an
appointment booked

at the eye hospital.

In a fortnight's time.

I wouldn't mind getting this
looked at sooner.

Now the thing is, Tommy,
at your age,

macular degeneration usually
progresses slowly.

Just creeps up on you.

But it can make sudden lunges
forward, like this.

I reckon an ambulance ride is in
order.

Good morning, Cyril. Is Fred
about?

Oh, I'm standing in for him

while he drives Violet to the
railway station.

Well, I hope she has a lovely
holiday in Jersey

with the Lady Haberdashers
Forum.

Meanwhile, since I've had no
choice but to take over

the organisation of the Whitsun
event from Miss Nadine,

I'm refreshing everyone's memory

regarding their
responsibilities!

This is for Fred.

Kindly draw his attention to it
when he returns.

Of course. All hands on deck!

I've put you in charge of the
Maypole.

Retrieval, refurbishment and
safe installation.

Er, consider me at your service.

All I can say Cyril,

is I wish there were more like
you!

Next. The raffle!

Your razor and your toothbrush
are in this bag.

You hang on to it now.

I'll only get in that ambulance
if you promise me

I'm coming home again.

Of course you're coming home!

They'll only keep you in for a
night or two.

I need to be where I belong.

Even if you can't see home,
you can smell it.

Well, we've had a day and a half
of it at the maternity home!

Two deliveries and then a very
weepy admission for bedrest,

Gladys Pryor?

Have you had a day of it too,
lass?

Today, I had to look after an
old man

who has no family and is almost
completely blind.

Tommy Woodleigh?

The trick is to remind yourself

of what you have actually done
to help.

Now...

You've heard because Miss Nadine
is poorly,

there's been some changes to
the Maypole display.

No costumes. Just Sunday best,
with white hair ribbons.

Auntie Shelagh says she'll lend
me a party dress of Angela's.

Well, I've got news for you.
There's no need!

Is this for me?
Run and try it on.

That's an expensive little
boutique.

Matthew bought a sailor suit for
Jonty from there,

he said his wallet
needed gas and air.

Oh, once in a while doesn't
hurt.

And I want Colette to know she's
as good as anybody else...

That's not how you take
somebody's pulse, Cyril.

Maybe I just like touching you.

Reminding me that the girl I
love is still in there.

That her heart's still beating
like it always did.

I'm not dead, Cyril.

So, get up.
I'll pour you some coffee.

And you can face the day.

There's a stain on my dress.

I keep meaning to deal with it.

I'll get you a damp cloth.

I was hoping for a punctual
start this morning.

Is there any other kind?

Apparently so if one is a
Health Visitor!

Perhaps Sister Veronica's
concerns are less pressing.

Should I answer that?
No.

You are not a telephonist!

This is Nonnatus House. There is
no-one here to attend to you.

Meanwhile, there has been no
comment

about the uncharacteristic
tardiness of Nurse Robinson.

It is four minutes past the
hour.

Latecomers are my domain.
And I shall deal with them.

Good morning, Sister Julienne.
Greetings!

Good morning, Sister.

I feel it might be appropriate
for you

to pop in on Lilian Reynolds
this morning.

She was on the telephone first
thing,

fretting about her home
delivery pack.

I thought she sounded very on
edge. Of course.

She's due a routine urine test
and I'd like to er,

check on her biopsy site.

Sister, do you not find it funny

taking orders like the rest of
us?

No. I'm simply a midwife,
amongst midwives.

It makes me happier than I can
say.

I'm sorry about the mess,
Sister.

My husband's like a little kid,

always taking things apart to
see how they work.

As long as he puts them back
together again.

He only does that when people
pay him!

When it's our own belongings,

it's like he only does it to
satisfy his curiosity.

This biopsy seems to be healing
very nicely.

My skin's still really sore and
itchy, though!

Lilian, a biopsy is a test,
not a form of treatment.

Did the specialist not explain
that to you?

He was quite breezy, really.

He said it looked "a bit
naughty"

and it wasn't usual to see
breast tissue

looking like
orange peel.

All dimpled and what-not.

Did you ask him what he thought
the problem might be?

I didn't really ask him
anything.

I just wanted to get my bra back
on and out of there.

I didn't feel comfortable
without my underpinnings.

I was never that sort of
entertainer.

So often these days,

now that medicine can do so
much,

doctors investigate simply
because they can.

And the results can be very
reassuring.

I do hope so, Sister.

Because I've had a call to go
and see him

at the hospital this afternoon.

That's my Ronnie,
come to pick me up.

Mrs Wallace!
I'm so glad you could come.

Many apologies if I smell of
disinfectant, Nurse Crane.

I've come straight from the
hospital.

I probably smell of sterilising
fluid!

My last act on duty was to make
up a dozen baby bottles.

We both know why we're here,
Mrs Wallace.

Lucille is so loved,
by so many people!

But she is going further and
further downhill.

And it breaks my heart to see
it.

She needs help, Mrs Wallace.
You mean medical help?

It may become a requirement.

But Lucille sets such store by
her religion,

I was wondering if there might
be some comfort

in her faith for her?

There's always comfort in faith,
Nurse Crane.

The trouble comes when you stop
believing that.

Please will you try and find a
way through for her?

Nurse Crane, that is what a
church is for.

You leave it with me.

It might be that nurse you
fancy.

You ought to ask her if she's
anything wants mending.

Do come through, Mrs Reynolds.
Oh and Mr Reynolds, too.

I've come round with my begging
bowl, Sister.

Have you anything for the
Whitsun raffle?

I have often had cause to wish

we lived in a less godly
society.

For wherever there is altruism,
there is invariably a raffle!

# #

Marmalade! And plenty of it.

Good gracious, someone's been
busy!

There must be a year's supply
in here.

The gesture is not entirely
devoid of self-interest.

Wanna cup of tea, Lil?
I don't know.

I don't know, Ronnie!
I don't know what's happened.

I don't know what he said!

It was like my blood was rushing
in my ears,

drowning his voice
out!

He was smiling wasn't he?

He can't have been saying
anything that bad!

He was saying you've got cancer,
Lil.

I can't have cancer!

Cancer is a lump and I haven't
got a lump!

And I'm having a baby!

Nobody gets cancer when they're
pregnant!

Miss Higgins, I think I need
to speak to Mr Sawyer

at St Cuthbert's.

He's just written to me about
Lilian Reynolds diagnosis.

It's a really rare type of
cancer involving inflammation.

I've never come across this
before...

I'll seek to connect you
immediately.

But perhaps you'd like to take
the call in your office?

After which you can confer
with... Mr Reynolds.

We, er, we thought you might
know what's happening.

Where's Lilian?
She's at home.

Erm, she was too
upset to leave the house.

I would like to be connected to
Mr Sawyer, please.

Consultant General Surgeon.

Mr Sawyer took me through your
diagnosis, step by step.

Could you understand what he
was saying?

Some doctors are better at
talking to other doctors

than they are to people.

I'm sorry if he didn't make
things clear enough to you.

Your variant of breast cancer is
very, very unusual.

He's only ever seen one case
before.

It is cancer then?

I'm afraid it is, Lilian.

He only ever said that word
once.

He used all kinds of other
words.

Like "problem" and "malignancy"
and "disease".

But he only said "cancer" once.

I was hoping it was a slip of
the tongue!

And I haven't got a lump...
it's just sore.

Mr Sawyer recommends that you
start treatment

as soon as possible.

And we will be with you every
step of the way.

But I'm having a baby!

How can I feed my baby if they
cut my breast off!

You won't have a mastectomy.

It isn't suitable for this kind
of cancer.

The best treatment, at the
moment, is radiotherapy.

Mr Woodleigh?
I know that voice.

I thought you was
a district nurse.

I am.

But I was passing by on my way
home

and I thought you might like a
packet of Marie biscuits.

Oh, now you're talking!
It's not much.

But I thought you might not have
anyone to bring you anything.

Oh, well they're all so far
away.

I'll write to 'em when I get
home, tell them the good news.

Have you had good news?
Oh well, not about me eyes.

They say I'll never get my
sight back.

No, the good news will be that
I'm back in my own house.

And writing letters?

A man can dream.
Yes.

What, what do you dream of?

I can't tell you, Mr Woodleigh.

It might not come true
otherwise.

They'll be bringing the tea
soon. You enjoy your biscuits.

Shelagh, are you ready?

Excellent! I need another B.

You come in here, between
Sister Veronica and Nancy.

Right, everyone,
extend your free arm.

What are we doing?
Don't interrupt.

Now, team A are going to process
in a clockwise direction

and team B anti clockwise.

Am I A or B?
You're The Maypole!

Don't we all just go in the same
direction?

Not according to these
'excellent',

if not quite complicated,

instructions Miss Nadine's
provided.

What do we do next?

If I've read this correctly,

the A's go underneath the B's
extended arm.

Then the next B and so on.

Shall we give it a go?

# #

One, two, three and...

Clockwise Nancy!

Don't forget to skip!

It's not funny!

I've got to teach this to
Miss Nadine's dance school.

Oh, can you not teach them the
twist instead?

I know that one!

Lil', Sister Julienne's here...

Have you come about the baby?
Or about the cancer?

That's not a question anyone
should have to ask, is it?

But I can answer it.

I've come about you First and
foremost, I am your midwife.

And my overwhelming concern is
for your well-being

and for that of the baby.

But the cancer specialist wants
radiation to start

within the next two weeks,
so he has asked if...

the baby can be induced.
In hospital.

I wanted to have it here, at
home!

With Ronnie holding my hand.

An appointment has been made for
you on the maternity ward

at St Cuthbert's. On Monday.

I'm not ready! I'm just not
ready!

I used to have a whole routine
before I went on stage.

I'd line up my tap shoes and my
ballet shoes.

I'd have a particular way of
setting out everything.

Eyelashes. Panstick. Lipstick.

Getting ready was part of
the performance.

And getting ready is part of
this. I'm so sorry.

We haven't even thought of a
name.

So, no home birth for
Lilian Reynolds.

Oh! And I suppose that decision
was made for her.

Without consultation or
agreement.

And certainly not
with her approval.

All I could do was pass on the
news, as kindly as possible.

I saw this day after day

when I was looking after
my Godmother Daphne.

It's as though cancer is this
monstrous bully.

This great dictator whose voice
must be heard first,

who must be
considered before all else!

And very often before the wishes
of the patient.

And we're not used to that, are
we? Hmm.

The mother is at the heart of
everything we do.

It's kind of you to offer to
pray with us, Mrs Wallace.

But I'm not sure we should force
the issue, given...

Lucille's state of mind.

Lucille's state of mind is
forcing the issue!

The girl is under spiritual
attack!

And you are her Pastor as well
as her husband.

I know I am.

And that doesn't make things any
easier.

All we're going to do is pray!

You don't have to anoint her.

You don't have to lay hands on
her!

You just have to give the
Holy Spirit a chance!

I have given the Holy Spirit
every chance!

I have given Him the chance

to make me feel welcome in this
country!

I have given Him the chance to
put a child inside my body.

I have given Him opportunity,
after opportunity.

And either He has failed me,
or I have failed in His Grace -

That isn't possible, Lucille.

If you think that,
then you can't see me clearly!

Or perhaps you aren't even
looking!

You're gonna have to come and
live with us, Grandad.

Harlow is not the moon.

You don't need an oxygen helmet,
or even vaccinations.

I seen it on the newsreel when
they built it.

There was cows.

There's more concrete now than

there is down the Commercial
Road.

You'll feel right at home!
Mr Woodleigh?

Ah! Is that my little foreign
nurse?

I came to ask for your
permission to admit

the occupational therapist
to your house.

So, she can assess you for aids.
Hey. Hear that? My house.

No-one's telling me where I can
or can't live.

Not my granddaughters,
not my daughters. No one.

Is this your family?
Some of us.

My mum's gone out for a smoke in
the dayroom.

I thought you didn't have any
family!

Apart from the one who sends you
the posh biscuits!

Hah! My Grandad's a bigger liar
than Pinocchio.

He's got three daughters,
eleven grandkids,

including Simon,
the biscuit monitor.

And these are his youngest
great-grandchildren.

You all left Poplar without a
backward glance.

Which suited you down to the
ground.

You can't take somebody's
independence off 'em,

if they're
alone in the world.

Just hold Nicole for a minute.

I need to get her a bottle.

What about Harold?
It's a good solid name.

For somebody's grandad.
I want something modern.

Paul then. Or John.

You can't get much more modern
than a Beatle.

What if it's a girl?

How about Yoko?

Are you in discomfort, Lilian?

It's them practice contractions.
She gets loads of 'em.

It's just that your blood
pressure's up a tiny bit.

And that can happen when you're
in labour.

If I'm in labour, you're going
to make me go to hospital!

# #

Nonnatus House, midwife
speaking?

She's four fingers dilated
already and doing well.

Sister, if we can't put her
first, who will?

Midwife. May I come in?

Step right in! Perfect timing.

Lilian's waters just broke and
we needed to change the bed.

Well done!

You're going to make me go to
St Cuthbert's now, aren't you?

Because of the cancer.

Just for tonight,
the cancer is not relevant.

You are going to have the baby
here...

Here? At home?

If that's what you choose.

I do choose it.

Where is Mrs Turner?!

Oh, she's caught up at work most
probably.

Those babies don't work to the
same time clock as we do.

I hope she hurries up,

this is like being stuck inside
a migraine.

Cease this, at once!

I came to watch a rehearsal of
the Maypole dancing,

not a re-enactment
of the battle of Agincourt.

Baby's head is advancing,
Lilian! Well done.

Yes! That's my girl!

Oh shut up. I need to
concentrate!

Another one?

Lilian, I'm going to apply some
pressure

to prevent Baby's head from
being born too quickly.

Now give me a steady,
steady push...

and pant!

And here's your reward. Baby's
head!

Really?

Well done, sweetie!

Can I touch it? Is it real?

Ah yes! Now use the pain!

You have a daughter!

A girl!

I told you.

The most beautiful baby I have
ever seen.

We won't be calling her Harold
anyway.

She's absolute perfection.

So, I can't think of a better
name for her than Lilian.

Lilian's old-fashioned.

It's a name from the past.
My mum's name. Her mum's...

Andrea.
Andrea Lilian Reynolds.

Put Lilian in the middle,
where she won't lose it.

I'm so sorry,
there was a forceps delivery.

Don't worry, it all worked out.
# #

One and two and three and four.

That is magnificent, class!

Sister Monica Joan,

why didn't you tell us you knew
the Maypole dance?

You omitted to enquire.

Mr Woodleigh chose to isolate
himself.

It was his way of saying,
"The world no longer suits me.

It is turning in a way I do not
choose, so I will stand still.

Shut the door".

I thought you said you liked
him.

Perhaps he saw himself in me.

He knew I was mourning for home,
he heard it in my voice.

I hear it in your voice,
see it in your eyes.

Even when they're closed

and your lashes come halfway
down your cheek.

Do you remember dancing outside,
in the dark,

when I was mending
Nurse Crane's car?

I remember you picking me up on
that motorbike

that you borrowed for
our first date.

With you in your tiny yellow
dress and your giant hair.

Giant, expensive hair.
Blowing all over the place.

I got in that sidecar next to
you and I thought,

"This is the
beginning of a journey.

And I don't know where it's
going to end."

And I put my foot on that
kick-starter and I thought,

"This is it. I'm never getting
off this ride."

I have to get better, Cyril.

In the morning,
I'm going to the doctor.

Thank you.

Lilian, dear,
we need you take these pills.

What are they?

They're called Stilboestrol

and they will prevent you from
lactating.

It will be better if we stop any
milk flow

before the radiotherapy begins.

It wouldn't be good for Andrea,
would it?

Feeding off a breast that's
diseased,

never mind full of
radiation.

Can I ask you a question?
I want you to.

Do you think God is punishing
me?

I haven't always lived a
virtuous life. In fact...

I've never lived a virtuous
life.

I don't believe in a God that
punishes.

The God I know is full of love.

He's got a funny way of showing
it, sometimes.

I can fix just about anything,
but I can't fix her.

I can't imagine the world
without her...

I can't imagine bringing up a
baby on my own.

Please don't imagine that yet.

Lilian's about to start
treatment.

And, and no-one will tell us if
it is gonna cure her!

And I can't either.
But I can tell you to hope.

Men don't look after babies.
Not without their wives.

Oh, I promise you they do.
And they do it well.

But it isn't just the baby that
needs you now.

It's Lilian, too.

She hasn't stopped being your
wife

just because she's a mother.

Or because she's ill...

I wish, erm...

I wish I knew more
about babies.

They're much less complicated
than television sets,

I assure you.

Good morning, Nurse Robinson.
Oh, good morning, Miss Higgins.

Would it be possible for me to
see Doctor Turner?

And what is it regarding?

Erm, I need to speak with him
about something personal.

I wasn't sure if you'd put your
white coat on.

If you'd treat me as a
physician. Or like a friend.

I can be either.

Because I'm both.
I have such a lot of friends.

Even my husband is my friend.

And they've all tried to help me
and got nowhere.

I think I want you to be my
doctor. That's alright.

And from everything you've told
me about your feelings,

even your physical symptoms -

the, the lethargy, the
headaches,

medical intervention is what you
need.

I know the way through these
woods, Lucille.

Now, before we move on, I have
to ask you one last thing.

Have you found yourself thinking
of hurting yourself?

Yes...

Yesterday...

I went walking...

I stood by the road.

I stared at the traffic...

I stared at the road thinking,
maybe it could take me home.

In what way?
If I died on it.

# All my love

# Came to nothing at all, my
love

# When I woke up to find

# You were no longer mine

# All my love

# Thrown away after all this
time

# Now there's no place for me

# In the future you see

# I don't understand you

# I've done all I can do

# Tell me how could I give you
more,

more than all my love?

Is it the Valium helping her to
sleep?

Rest is the best thing, in this
phase of a nervous breakdown.

A nervous breakdown? Seems
like...

such a big thing for her to
have.

It's an overwhelming thing.

But we will look after her and
it will pass.

I was afraid I would lose her.

I started to think she was
already lost.

I've no don't doubt she
thought the same.

But Lucille is still inside
Lucille.

And we will bring her out again.

Lil! How was it?
It was quick.

It might not be so bad,

even if I do have to go every
few days for a bit.

Oh, it feels like I've got
sunburn.

That may become a little more
intense, over time.

Sit down and rest.

She'll need a bottle.
All in hand!

Oh and guess what.

I took her to the clinic.
She's put on five ounces!

You took her to the clinic for
the first time, without me?

Yeah, I...

I thought I might as well get
into the swing of things?

You'd think I was dead already!

You're getting up?

I've made an appointment to get
my hair done.

I'm determined to go,

even if I have to come
straight back to bed.

Good girl.

Because one way or another,

you're going to be wanting to
look your best.

A ticket to Jamaica?!

An open return. For you.

I can't go because I can't
leave my job.

But you have sick leave,

so I took the money
out of our savings.

We're saving to buy a house!
We'll have a house one day.

For now, you must go home.

Before you ask,

I'm not going anywhere nice but
I just want to look...

better.

Better enough so people
stop treating me

like I'm on my way out!

Lilian -
I know my chances aren't good.

But, just for now, I'm not gonna
ask you any more about them.

Lilian, I am so sorry if we were
over-stepping the mark.

We only...meant to help.

Look at me. That was me.

I gave it all up to be a mother.

And I was glad to!

But cancer has
taken more than that.

And it's not gonna stop until
it's taken everything!

I understand.
You don't!

How could you possibly
understand?

You threw away everything that
made you a woman,

you didn't want it:
covered it up.

You denied it.

And what I can't deny is how
much I have hurt you.

I can only beg for your
forgiveness.

You look like a woman in great
want of a galvanising beverage.

I hid a Swiss roll at the back
of the larder.

Lilian's needs are very
complex, Sister.

You mustn't exhaust yourself
trying to care for her.

It's never a burden to love or
give. I know that.

That doesn't mean it
isn't tiring.

And it doesn't mean that I don't
make mistakes.

No, to the left a bit...

A bit more...

That's it.

Agh! Now it's listing!

It's definitely listing to one
side.

I think it needs a little more
ballast at the base.

Then you will have to get that
organised.

It is clearly unsafe.

In fact, it is the most perilous
erection I've ever seen!

Oh! I, I've done everything
I can think of.

She, she won't feed!

She doesn't need a fresh nappy!
And er...

Lilian, she won't come out the
bedroom.

Lilian.

Your baby needs you.

She was calling for you.
For her mother.

And only her mother will do.

I said terrible things to you.

I, I don't wish I'd led a
different life.

But your body -
your brave, enduring body...

has done unimaginable things.

And it's doing things now that I
can only wonder at.

You do things that I can
only wonder at.

Thank you for helping me.

There was a stain on the skirt
of the top one,

but I managed to get it
out in a boil wash.

I couldn't bear to put it away

unless it was completely
pristine.

And why doesn't that surprise
me?

They'll be here waiting for you
when you come home.

When I come home from going
home?

Maybe it is that much of a
puzzle.

For now, no one's making you
choose.

I don't think I could choose
anything just now.

Dr Turner prescribed change,
Cyril bought the ticket,

Sister Julienne
gave me the time off.

I feel...like a parcel,
being posted somewhere.

You could choose to give in to
it.

Choose to be loved, even.

Loved?

Choose to let the sun shine
down on you.

If it does turn nippy,
there's always this...

You finished it? Oh, Phyllis!

Well, it's hardly a present.
You paid for the wool!

Now off you pop.
And finish your packing.

# #

Congratulations madame! Now
this...

Thank you Maestro!

And for our next number...

we have...

31.

Next ticket, please!

And the final number is...

56, 56.

I have the ticket.

Come and collect your prize,
Sister Monica Joan.

It's time to say your goodbyes,
Lucille.

I don't want to.

I want to go but I don't want
to leave.

Or watch them waving.

We can slip away,
just the two of us.

Like we're going on a date?

Like we're going on our first
date.

Cyril, where'd you get that
from?

Let's just say someone owed me a
favour. Come on.

The sooner you get to Jamaica,

the sooner you'll be coming
back!

Just when I've had my hair done.

I love you, Nurse Robinson.

I'll fetch your bags.

Nothing is written and no dream
has a duty to come true.

Their power is to show us where
the heart's desire lies.

And what beauty really is.

A touch, a glance,
a glimpse into the future.

Lay these moments down like
treasure,

for when today becomes the past,

we are forever what we hope for
and what we must let go.

Mrs Mackay?
Talbot. Not Mackay.

We do everything together.

I shall soon be giving
Fanny Cradock

quite a run for her money.

I meant to give it to you
earlier.

I could go weeks not knowing

where the next meal
was coming from.

The ambulance has arrived.
Please get my mum!

You were the one forcing me to
talk about this.

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