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1
00:00:05,712 --> 00:00:09,712
'Comes a time in a man's life
where he has to sit back,
2
00:00:10,225 --> 00:00:14,225
'take stock of things and ponder
that old philosophical chestnut -
3
00:00:15,145 --> 00:00:19,145
'how the fuck did I end up here?'
4
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'I'll tell you who's to blame
for this. Me family.
5
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'My wonderful, wonderful family.'
6
00:00:33,425 --> 00:00:35,823
'Someone's got to put
food on the table.
7
00:00:35,825 --> 00:00:38,903
'All right, so maybe I claimed
benefits that I shouldn't have.
8
00:00:38,905 --> 00:00:40,943
'Y'ask me, that shows initiative.
9
00:00:40,945 --> 00:00:44,743
'But no - six months with
time off for good behaviour.'
10
00:00:44,745 --> 00:00:46,583
Gallagher!
11
00:00:46,585 --> 00:00:50,585
What?
12
00:00:51,465 --> 00:00:55,465
'Or an extra three
for being a naughty boy.'
13
00:00:56,745 --> 00:01:00,745
'It's the boredom that gets you.
Y'know, you miss the simple things.
14
00:01:01,665 --> 00:01:03,343
'Drugs. Alcohol.
15
00:01:03,345 --> 00:01:07,345
'Being able to drop the soap
in the shower with impunity.'
16
00:01:15,545 --> 00:01:19,545
'Even miss the family. You know.
A little bit.'
17
00:01:22,665 --> 00:01:24,863
'Still, every day,
18
00:01:24,865 --> 00:01:28,865
'freedom comes closer and closer.'
19
00:01:34,785 --> 00:01:38,785
S'all right. Too much peace
and not enough war.
20
00:01:41,225 --> 00:01:42,863
Time, Frank.
21
00:01:42,865 --> 00:01:46,865
See ya.
22
00:01:52,705 --> 00:01:56,705
Be a good lad, Frank.
Head straight home.
23
00:02:02,885 --> 00:02:03,913
Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells
http://UKsubtitles.ru.
24
00:02:10,105 --> 00:02:12,623
'It makes you wonder, though.
25
00:02:12,625 --> 00:02:15,423
'Are you just stepping
out of one prison...'
26
00:02:15,425 --> 00:02:17,423
Frank?
27
00:02:17,425 --> 00:02:21,425
'And straight back into another?'
28
00:02:23,745 --> 00:02:26,143
She looks familiar.
29
00:02:26,145 --> 00:02:28,383
Mavis? Margaret?
30
00:02:28,385 --> 00:02:30,903
Oh, no, no, wait, wait -
Monica, innit?
31
00:02:30,905 --> 00:02:34,143
I remember you. Been a while.
32
00:02:34,145 --> 00:02:36,783
Three months
since you last bothered to visit.
33
00:02:36,785 --> 00:02:40,785
I thought you might want
some space.
34
00:02:42,665 --> 00:02:44,905
I've brought you some fags
and a can.
35
00:02:46,825 --> 00:02:50,825
They're in the car.
36
00:02:51,145 --> 00:02:53,183
You look well.
37
00:02:53,185 --> 00:02:54,543
You don't.
38
00:02:54,545 --> 00:02:57,103
I know you've been round the block
a bit, Monica, y'know,
39
00:02:57,105 --> 00:02:59,385
but just a shame you didn't
jog round it.
40
00:03:00,745 --> 00:03:03,343
Just a bloody joke!
41
00:03:03,345 --> 00:03:04,703
Been an emotional time.
42
00:03:04,705 --> 00:03:06,223
Well, yeah, course.
43
00:03:06,225 --> 00:03:08,103
Most societal structures collapse
44
00:03:08,105 --> 00:03:12,105
when the patriarchal figure
is removed.
45
00:03:17,585 --> 00:03:18,743
Frank?
46
00:03:18,745 --> 00:03:22,583
I had a lot of hopes and dreams
when I was your age.
47
00:03:22,585 --> 00:03:25,423
Places I wanted to go.
Things I wanted to do.
48
00:03:25,425 --> 00:03:27,543
Ambition.
49
00:03:27,545 --> 00:03:31,545
None of 'em involved
growing a fuckin' moustache.
50
00:03:35,225 --> 00:03:36,303
So, where to?
51
00:03:36,305 --> 00:03:37,103
Pub.
52
00:03:37,105 --> 00:03:41,105
Home.
53
00:03:41,265 --> 00:03:45,265
Home it is.
54
00:03:53,145 --> 00:03:56,743
All right, Frank.
Enjoy your holiday?
55
00:03:56,745 --> 00:03:59,063
I've had worse. You've been busy.
56
00:03:59,065 --> 00:04:01,503
Well, I'm not the only one.
57
00:04:01,505 --> 00:04:03,703
Come on. Let's get you inside.
58
00:04:03,705 --> 00:04:06,143
All right, all right...
what's the rush?
59
00:04:06,145 --> 00:04:09,303
Oh. I know what's going on.
60
00:04:09,305 --> 00:04:13,305
You do?
61
00:04:19,345 --> 00:04:23,345
Pa-a-arty!
62
00:04:24,265 --> 00:04:28,265
Dad!
63
00:04:28,705 --> 00:04:32,705
Yeah, hi. Where's everybody else?
64
00:04:39,625 --> 00:04:42,423
This is my maths test.
65
00:04:42,425 --> 00:04:45,343
This is my English.
66
00:04:45,345 --> 00:04:47,543
And this is art.
67
00:04:47,545 --> 00:04:51,545
Right, lovely.
68
00:04:52,825 --> 00:04:56,263
What, is this you? Crying because
your daddy's all banged up?
69
00:04:56,265 --> 00:05:00,265
No. That's Jesus. He's upset
because you did a bad thing.
70
00:05:01,545 --> 00:05:04,423
Yeah... well, bit judgmental
of the lad.
71
00:05:04,425 --> 00:05:07,143
I mean, he's never had to struggle.
No wife, no kids
72
00:05:07,145 --> 00:05:10,503
and his dad was God.
Silver spoon up the arse, that one.
73
00:05:10,505 --> 00:05:13,863
She did really want to visit you
more. It's just Monica's all...
74
00:05:13,865 --> 00:05:15,143
y'know...
75
00:05:15,145 --> 00:05:15,943
Monica's what?
76
00:05:15,945 --> 00:05:18,183
Got burning ears, apparently.
77
00:05:18,185 --> 00:05:19,183
Monica!
78
00:05:19,185 --> 00:05:23,143
Hey - Jockey's open now.
Free man deserves a drink, eh?
79
00:05:23,145 --> 00:05:25,423
Thought you'd never ask.
80
00:05:25,425 --> 00:05:26,863
Are you coming back?
81
00:05:26,865 --> 00:05:30,865
Back on all fours, hopefully.
82
00:05:31,385 --> 00:05:32,423
Monica!
83
00:05:32,425 --> 00:05:36,425
That couple of drinks will soften
the blow.
84
00:05:40,865 --> 00:05:44,865
Come on, shift it.
85
00:05:51,825 --> 00:05:55,823
Frank, once you get a drink, there's
something we've got to talk about.
86
00:05:55,825 --> 00:05:59,825
Oh, don't ruin the moment, Mon.
Calm before the proverbial storm.
87
00:06:01,305 --> 00:06:05,305
Wait for it. Wait for it...
88
00:06:06,225 --> 00:06:10,225
Pa-a-a-arty!
89
00:06:13,305 --> 00:06:16,623
13.40.
90
00:06:16,625 --> 00:06:18,463
So what, we're early?
91
00:06:18,465 --> 00:06:19,863
Pounds. Your tab.
92
00:06:19,865 --> 00:06:23,023
Plus interest for every month
when it wasn't paid, so...
93
00:06:23,025 --> 00:06:25,983
call it 20. You got done.
Don't expect a reward.
94
00:06:25,985 --> 00:06:28,503
Expect? It's my right as a free man.
I want my party!
95
00:06:28,505 --> 00:06:31,263
Oh, for God's sake, Frank,
I'll buy you a drink...
96
00:06:31,265 --> 00:06:33,183
A drink? No, no, no.
97
00:06:33,185 --> 00:06:36,583
I don't want a drink, I want
parades, banners, dancing fucking
98
00:06:36,585 --> 00:06:40,585
elephants! But no, you couldn't do
that for me, that one little thing!
99
00:06:43,545 --> 00:06:46,423
When's my time, Mon?
When's my fucking party?
100
00:06:46,425 --> 00:06:49,583
Frank... Ohh!
101
00:06:49,585 --> 00:06:53,585
Oh, yeah. That's guilt, that is.
Eating away at you.
102
00:06:55,305 --> 00:06:58,783
Yeah, and that's... y'know...
pissing yourself because...
103
00:06:58,785 --> 00:06:59,703
well... the same.
104
00:06:59,705 --> 00:07:01,303
Fuck's sake, Frank!
105
00:07:01,305 --> 00:07:03,783
She's having a baby, you idiot!
106
00:07:03,785 --> 00:07:04,823
No, she's not!
107
00:07:04,825 --> 00:07:06,623
We can't!
108
00:07:06,625 --> 00:07:09,863
I know. And I'm going to deal
with it. I promise you.
109
00:07:09,865 --> 00:07:12,423
Family's big enough.
There'll be no more.
110
00:07:12,425 --> 00:07:14,823
She had an abortion!
111
00:07:14,825 --> 00:07:15,863
I was going to tell you,
112
00:07:15,865 --> 00:07:19,865
but it wasn't the... it wasn't
the right time...
113
00:07:20,265 --> 00:07:23,743
It's a bit late now! You promised,
you fucking promised me...
114
00:07:23,745 --> 00:07:25,463
I did, I had the abortion!
115
00:07:25,465 --> 00:07:28,663
Well, if you had the abortion, what
the bloody hell's that? Tapeworm?
116
00:07:28,665 --> 00:07:32,223
It were twins.
One of them survived...
117
00:07:32,225 --> 00:07:35,263
Frank! She's having a baby right
now, whether you like it or not.
118
00:07:35,265 --> 00:07:37,263
So go and get hot water
and towels. Move it!
119
00:07:37,265 --> 00:07:39,063
Got her fuckin' claws in me...
120
00:07:39,065 --> 00:07:40,385
Bloody hell!
121
00:07:42,025 --> 00:07:46,025
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
122
00:07:46,265 --> 00:07:47,583
Aagh!
123
00:07:47,585 --> 00:07:51,585
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!
124
00:07:51,825 --> 00:07:53,943
All right, all right.
125
00:07:53,945 --> 00:07:55,263
Don't worry.
126
00:07:55,265 --> 00:07:58,223
We'll sue them, for benefits,
clothing allowance,
127
00:07:58,225 --> 00:08:00,823
room and board, everything.
They fucked up.
128
00:08:00,825 --> 00:08:03,703
This is the NHS's baby, not ours.
Might even make a profit...
129
00:08:03,705 --> 00:08:05,543
I didn't have it on the NHS.
130
00:08:05,545 --> 00:08:09,545
I wanted to have it holistically,
so I saw this lovely woman,
131
00:08:09,905 --> 00:08:12,903
Linda Wallace, she said
she's part-Cherokee
132
00:08:12,905 --> 00:08:16,223
and she said that it was
a more natural way...
133
00:08:16,225 --> 00:08:18,103
Ohh, f...
134
00:08:18,105 --> 00:08:22,105
Scalding bath and a bottle of gin,
a one-way trip down the staircase,
135
00:08:22,505 --> 00:08:26,505
but no, you had to go
and visit Gypsy Rose fucking Lee!
136
00:08:26,825 --> 00:08:29,143
She's Cherokee, not Romany!
137
00:08:29,145 --> 00:08:32,023
She comes from bloody
Southend-on-Sea!
138
00:08:32,025 --> 00:08:33,665
Come on, Mon, you push now...
139
00:08:38,825 --> 00:08:42,545
Come on, son, you can do it!
You're a survivor!
140
00:08:50,665 --> 00:08:54,185
Monica. Monica!
141
00:08:55,705 --> 00:08:57,863
Nothing personal. It's just...
142
00:08:57,865 --> 00:09:01,865
had plans for you.
Not-being-born plans.
143
00:09:03,625 --> 00:09:05,103
What's with the fancy dress?
144
00:09:05,105 --> 00:09:06,543
Going for ice cream.
145
00:09:06,545 --> 00:09:09,703
Oh, no, no, you lot have got
a baby to look after.
146
00:09:09,705 --> 00:09:11,463
I can't do it all myself.
147
00:09:11,465 --> 00:09:13,623
It's his birthday.
148
00:09:13,625 --> 00:09:14,503
Eighteen.
149
00:09:14,505 --> 00:09:16,303
Oh, so you've come of age.
150
00:09:16,305 --> 00:09:20,263
Which means we don't get child
benefit to look after you any more.
151
00:09:20,265 --> 00:09:21,663
No.
152
00:09:21,665 --> 00:09:25,665
Great. Another fuckin'
waste of space, leeching off us.
153
00:09:27,625 --> 00:09:29,663
Gotta do something about her, Frank.
154
00:09:29,665 --> 00:09:33,665
She's not left her room all week.
You need an extra pair of hands.
155
00:09:39,905 --> 00:09:42,505
S'all right, s'all right.
156
00:09:45,945 --> 00:09:49,945
Are you planning on rejoining
society any time soon?
157
00:09:53,065 --> 00:09:55,863
I've killed a baby, Frank.
158
00:09:55,865 --> 00:09:59,183
I've snuffed out
a tiny little light.
159
00:09:59,185 --> 00:10:00,903
Do you know how that feels?
160
00:10:00,905 --> 00:10:03,503
It wasn't a baby.
It was barely even a foetus.
161
00:10:03,505 --> 00:10:06,305
I've coughed up stuff
with more personality.
162
00:10:07,705 --> 00:10:11,705
That - that, downstairs, with
lungs like Pavarotti, that's a baby.
163
00:10:13,225 --> 00:10:15,703
It's been a week
since you've even glanced at him.
164
00:10:15,705 --> 00:10:17,383
I've got post-natal...
165
00:10:17,385 --> 00:10:19,663
Oh, every time, post-natal,
pre-natal,
166
00:10:19,665 --> 00:10:23,423
it's always excuses with you, Mon.
167
00:10:23,425 --> 00:10:27,425
How can I hold that baby, knowing
what I've done to his brother?
168
00:10:27,905 --> 00:10:31,905
Knowing what I've taken from him?
169
00:10:32,105 --> 00:10:36,105
They would have been besties.
They would've dressed the same.
170
00:10:36,425 --> 00:10:39,343
They would've got into all
kinds of scrapes. Bill and Ben.
171
00:10:39,345 --> 00:10:42,903
The fabulous Gallagher boys.
172
00:10:42,905 --> 00:10:46,905
Please, please, please, please,
forgive me. Please, forgive me.
173
00:10:49,145 --> 00:10:51,383
Please, please...
174
00:10:51,385 --> 00:10:55,223
This isn't even your kid, this is
the bloody Oxfam Africa baby!
175
00:10:55,225 --> 00:10:57,743
There's no need to be racist!
176
00:10:57,745 --> 00:11:01,745
No, I told you - no more kids.
You made the choice
177
00:11:01,825 --> 00:11:05,183
and you are not making me take care
of another fucking child alone.
178
00:11:05,185 --> 00:11:08,943
So whatever you think this...
this fucking Christmas tree
179
00:11:08,945 --> 00:11:12,743
is for, whatever help
you think it's giving you -
180
00:11:12,745 --> 00:11:16,745
it's clearly not enough, is it?
181
00:11:19,505 --> 00:11:23,505
You're right. It's not.
182
00:11:24,185 --> 00:11:28,023
We need to have a funeral
for little Bill.
183
00:11:28,025 --> 00:11:32,025
Go down to Ches's and get some
fizzy wine. Decent stuff.
184
00:11:33,705 --> 00:11:37,343
And what are you gonna do?
185
00:11:37,345 --> 00:11:38,903
There's lots to organise.
186
00:11:38,905 --> 00:11:42,905
Right. Good. More like it.
187
00:11:46,225 --> 00:11:48,183
Muslim matchmakers are very...
188
00:11:48,185 --> 00:11:50,663
Yes, I know.
189
00:11:50,665 --> 00:11:52,343
Frank.
190
00:11:52,345 --> 00:11:56,345
Right, er, some sparkling wine
and some beer...
191
00:11:58,225 --> 00:11:59,823
..please?
192
00:11:59,825 --> 00:12:02,663
No "welcome back", "good to see
you", "how have you been?"
193
00:12:02,665 --> 00:12:04,423
Why? Did you go somewhere?
194
00:12:04,425 --> 00:12:08,143
You really are a pig ignorant piece
of shit, aren't you, Gallagher?
195
00:12:08,145 --> 00:12:09,423
Need a hand?
196
00:12:09,425 --> 00:12:12,343
No, fine, thanks.
She is doing my fucking head in.
197
00:12:12,345 --> 00:12:15,463
I said to Ches I'd cover
while Mary Mae shits out that baby,
198
00:12:15,465 --> 00:12:17,983
but I didn't know I'd have to deal
with that psycho.
199
00:12:17,985 --> 00:12:19,263
So, about this drink...?
200
00:12:19,265 --> 00:12:22,303
I can't, Frank.
I know what you're like.
201
00:12:22,305 --> 00:12:25,343
You'll have a few drinks,
few too many,
202
00:12:25,345 --> 00:12:29,345
end up sticking it in Monica again,
nine months later, little baby.
203
00:12:29,665 --> 00:12:33,463
Seven billion folk on this planet.
Somebody's got to take a stand.
204
00:12:33,465 --> 00:12:37,465
It's not for me. It's for Mon.
She's got the baby blues. Please.
205
00:12:40,065 --> 00:12:42,863
All right. I'll serve you.
206
00:12:42,865 --> 00:12:45,263
If you can name all your kids.
207
00:12:45,265 --> 00:12:49,265
Without hesitating.
208
00:12:52,785 --> 00:12:54,103
So, there's, uh...
209
00:12:54,105 --> 00:12:56,183
Hesitation! Fuck off, Frank.
210
00:12:56,185 --> 00:12:59,103
Come on, the nearest offie
is fucking miles away!
211
00:12:59,105 --> 00:13:03,105
Gi'ya chance to think
about what you've done.
212
00:13:04,105 --> 00:13:08,105
Hiya, mate.
213
00:13:14,385 --> 00:13:18,143
Sorry, my dad's not in,
he's out looking for work
214
00:13:18,145 --> 00:13:20,623
and my mum's helping
the mental handicapped.
215
00:13:20,625 --> 00:13:22,903
Relax. It's all right.
I'm not the social.
216
00:13:22,905 --> 00:13:26,769
I'm Fiona.
I got the call to come home.
217
00:13:33,232 --> 00:13:35,052
What about this one?
218
00:13:35,104 --> 00:13:37,724
Second second reminder.
219
00:13:37,733 --> 00:13:38,691
So..?
220
00:13:38,693 --> 00:13:39,491
Bin.
221
00:13:39,493 --> 00:13:40,731
Right. Remember.
222
00:13:40,733 --> 00:13:44,733
Red means dead.
223
00:13:47,733 --> 00:13:48,691
But brown...?
224
00:13:48,693 --> 00:13:52,693
Goes down!
225
00:13:58,293 --> 00:14:01,611
Look good.
226
00:14:01,613 --> 00:14:03,753
How's, uh... whats is name?
227
00:14:03,827 --> 00:14:04,945
Steve.
228
00:14:04,947 --> 00:14:07,465
No...
229
00:14:07,467 --> 00:14:10,185
Is it? Steve?
That doesn't sound right?
230
00:14:10,187 --> 00:14:14,187
Fine. Your grandson's fine, too.
Thanks for asking.
231
00:14:14,467 --> 00:14:18,467
She's my sister.
232
00:14:19,267 --> 00:14:21,985
So... you just happened to
be in the neighbourhood...?
233
00:14:21,987 --> 00:14:24,945
Mum called. About the...
234
00:14:24,947 --> 00:14:26,065
..d-e-a-d b-a-b-y.
235
00:14:26,067 --> 00:14:28,745
Dead baby.
236
00:14:28,747 --> 00:14:31,585
Oh. Right. Yeah. About that...
237
00:14:31,587 --> 00:14:34,185
Fiona! Ahhh!
238
00:14:34,187 --> 00:14:35,345
How are you?
239
00:14:35,347 --> 00:14:38,145
Much better for seeing you, love.
240
00:14:38,147 --> 00:14:39,505
Mum, you're dressed!
241
00:14:39,507 --> 00:14:41,025
Is it too much?
242
00:14:41,027 --> 00:14:45,027
It's all right to show a little
bit of tit at a funeral, isn't it?
243
00:14:53,307 --> 00:14:57,105
What d'you think?
244
00:14:57,107 --> 00:15:00,345
Hello? Opinions, opinions?
245
00:15:00,347 --> 00:15:02,225
Normally, you're full of them...
246
00:15:02,227 --> 00:15:06,227
I'm just... I'm just sorry, Mum.
247
00:15:06,587 --> 00:15:09,305
What you've had to go through.
Losing the baby.
248
00:15:09,307 --> 00:15:11,185
I made a little coffin.
249
00:15:11,187 --> 00:15:13,785
They showed you how to do
it on Blue Peter.
250
00:15:13,787 --> 00:15:16,225
I think it was
really for household pets...
251
00:15:16,227 --> 00:15:18,065
So, uh...
252
00:15:18,067 --> 00:15:21,225
Do you want me to go pick up the...
253
00:15:21,227 --> 00:15:23,985
The body. I mean, is at the
undertaker's or the hospital or..?
254
00:15:23,987 --> 00:15:27,385
I think they probably just flushed
it down the toilet.
255
00:15:27,387 --> 00:15:29,425
They wouldn't do that!
256
00:15:29,427 --> 00:15:32,185
Oh, well, they don't understand,
do they, Fiona?
257
00:15:32,187 --> 00:15:33,985
They're just like your father.
258
00:15:33,987 --> 00:15:36,865
It's a foetus, it doesn't have
a personality.
259
00:15:36,867 --> 00:15:39,105
But what's an acorn?
260
00:15:39,107 --> 00:15:41,825
It's just an oak tree
waiting to happen.
261
00:15:41,827 --> 00:15:44,345
So, when you said the baby
was stillborn...
262
00:15:44,347 --> 00:15:46,625
Well, I don't know the exact
technical term...
263
00:15:46,627 --> 00:15:50,627
I mean, termination sounds a bit
harsh, doesn't it?
264
00:15:51,387 --> 00:15:53,705
I have dropped everything,
I have rushed over here...
265
00:15:53,707 --> 00:15:57,707
You haven't changed, have you?
Always ready to judge me.
266
00:15:59,067 --> 00:16:02,185
I've not changed?!
This is you all over - milkin' it!
267
00:16:02,187 --> 00:16:04,065
Playing the victim,
centre of attention.
268
00:16:04,067 --> 00:16:07,625
Meanwhile, there's a real baby
downstairs, a bunch of bills,
269
00:16:07,627 --> 00:16:09,305
and a whole world you've ignored
270
00:16:09,307 --> 00:16:13,305
because it doesn't revolve around
you!
271
00:16:13,307 --> 00:16:14,945
Tears are not going to work.
272
00:16:14,947 --> 00:16:18,947
You're right, Fiona.
I'm a terrible, terrible person.
273
00:16:19,267 --> 00:16:23,267
You're right.
274
00:16:42,787 --> 00:16:46,787
I told you. Out of jail for a week.
They'll be dragging him in again.
275
00:16:47,227 --> 00:16:51,227
Always happens like that.
They get institutionalised, see?
276
00:16:52,107 --> 00:16:53,145
You speak to Mum?
277
00:16:53,147 --> 00:16:54,745
Nah, just a text.
278
00:16:54,747 --> 00:16:55,825
Did she say who...?
279
00:16:55,827 --> 00:16:59,827
No. Just one of me brother's were...
280
00:17:03,027 --> 00:17:04,385
I'm glad it weren't you.
281
00:17:04,387 --> 00:17:08,387
I'm glad it weren't you!
282
00:17:11,987 --> 00:17:13,705
I wasn't stealing from her.
283
00:17:13,707 --> 00:17:17,225
Here, don't you lot need a warrant?
You can't just barge on in here...
284
00:17:17,227 --> 00:17:19,465
- Is it Ian?
- Is who Ian? What you lot doing here?
285
00:17:19,467 --> 00:17:20,705
Just tell us who's dead, Dad!
286
00:17:20,707 --> 00:17:24,385
Please not little Liam?
287
00:17:24,387 --> 00:17:27,945
Did your mother call you?
Oh, fuck's sake...!
288
00:17:27,947 --> 00:17:31,947
You know who she's got up
there with her? Fiona.
289
00:17:32,867 --> 00:17:34,585
Nobody's dead!
290
00:17:34,587 --> 00:17:38,587
Your mother got up the duff...
twins. She had an abortion.
291
00:17:38,707 --> 00:17:42,425
Fifty percent success rate.
Thanks to Cherokee Linda.
292
00:17:42,427 --> 00:17:44,105
Fifty percent...
293
00:17:44,107 --> 00:17:46,105
I know why
they call your lot the plod!
294
00:17:46,107 --> 00:17:49,265
He's saying we've got
a new family member, mate.
295
00:17:49,267 --> 00:17:51,665
Right, so...
Why did she call us here, then?
296
00:17:51,667 --> 00:17:54,865
Probably to say goodbye to
whatever slid down her leg.
297
00:17:54,867 --> 00:17:56,145
Oh, that's a classic...!
298
00:17:56,147 --> 00:17:57,185
That's crazy.
299
00:17:57,187 --> 00:18:00,065
Yeah, and it's driving me fucking
crazy so listen, just shut up,
300
00:18:00,067 --> 00:18:01,545
be nice, and do what she wants.
301
00:18:01,547 --> 00:18:03,425
So is it a new brother
or sister, we've got?
302
00:18:03,427 --> 00:18:07,145
Does it matter? It's a baby.
It cries, it shits, it eats money.
303
00:18:07,147 --> 00:18:11,147
Fuck's sake... This is ridiculous.
I was told it was an emergency.
304
00:18:13,347 --> 00:18:15,785
It is an emergency! Or is a soul
in limbo to be sniggered at!
305
00:18:15,787 --> 00:18:16,585
I didn't me...
306
00:18:16,587 --> 00:18:18,865
Carl. Show some respect.
307
00:18:18,867 --> 00:18:22,867
Mother.
308
00:18:23,107 --> 00:18:27,107
Sweet sister.
309
00:18:27,147 --> 00:18:31,147
The Brothers Grimm.
310
00:18:36,667 --> 00:18:37,945
I'll see to that, shall I?
311
00:18:37,947 --> 00:18:41,947
Oh, as you're nearest. Thanks, love.
312
00:18:43,267 --> 00:18:47,267
I don't know how to stop him
crying. I'm sorry.
313
00:18:54,307 --> 00:18:55,865
This it, then? No Ian?
314
00:18:55,867 --> 00:18:58,465
No Liam? No Deborah?
315
00:18:58,467 --> 00:19:00,145
She's in Afghanistan, in't she?
316
00:19:00,147 --> 00:19:02,385
Still, you might have thought
that flying home
317
00:19:02,387 --> 00:19:06,387
for her own brother's funeral might
have been slightly more important.
318
00:19:06,667 --> 00:19:10,105
Still, typical Debbie.
Just goes to show.
319
00:19:10,107 --> 00:19:14,107
Have you not changed yet?
320
00:19:17,027 --> 00:19:21,025
Oh. You got this one.
321
00:19:21,027 --> 00:19:25,027
Better than nothing, I suppose.
322
00:19:25,787 --> 00:19:29,787
Shh, shh...
You've got nothing to be sorry about.
323
00:19:39,147 --> 00:19:43,147
There's a place that I read about,
called the Rainbow Road.
324
00:19:44,467 --> 00:19:47,465
And when you lose someone...
a family member...
325
00:19:47,467 --> 00:19:49,545
or someone you love, even a pet...
326
00:19:49,547 --> 00:19:51,305
they're not really gone...
327
00:19:51,307 --> 00:19:55,307
they're just waiting for you.
328
00:19:57,147 --> 00:20:00,545
I'll see you again,
Little William Gallagher.
329
00:20:00,547 --> 00:20:01,785
We all will.
330
00:20:01,787 --> 00:20:05,265
On the Rainbow Road.
331
00:20:05,267 --> 00:20:09,267
When it's our time.
332
00:20:11,427 --> 00:20:15,427
♪ Somewhere
333
00:20:15,947 --> 00:20:19,785
♪ Over the rainbow... ♪
334
00:20:19,787 --> 00:20:22,345
What's up with you?!
335
00:20:22,347 --> 00:20:26,347
I'm giving this event the exact
level of respect it deserves.
336
00:20:26,587 --> 00:20:28,065
She's our mum.
337
00:20:28,067 --> 00:20:29,385
You don't change, do you?
338
00:20:29,387 --> 00:20:32,545
World's just there for you
to take the piss out of.
339
00:20:32,547 --> 00:20:34,265
D'you know what's in that box?
340
00:20:34,267 --> 00:20:35,425
I'll give you a clue.
341
00:20:35,427 --> 00:20:38,945
It starts with
"fuck" and ends with "all".
342
00:20:38,947 --> 00:20:39,985
♪ Somewhere...
343
00:20:39,987 --> 00:20:41,505
It means something to her.
344
00:20:41,507 --> 00:20:44,145
Mum loves having kids. Nah.
345
00:20:44,147 --> 00:20:45,825
Mum loves being pregnant.
346
00:20:45,827 --> 00:20:48,465
She likes being
the centre of attention.
347
00:20:48,467 --> 00:20:51,185
She hates having kids.
348
00:20:51,187 --> 00:20:54,985
That's the glitch in the masterplan.
349
00:20:54,987 --> 00:20:56,785
Still think you're better than
the rest of us, yeah?
350
00:20:56,787 --> 00:20:58,265
Carl!
351
00:20:58,267 --> 00:21:02,267
I'm sure whatever you want to
discuss with Phillip is very important...
352
00:21:03,067 --> 00:21:05,985
but we're trying to bury your dead
brother.
353
00:21:05,987 --> 00:21:09,987
So can it just wait a minute?
354
00:21:10,907 --> 00:21:13,865
♪ If happy little bluebirds fly
355
00:21:13,867 --> 00:21:16,425
♪ Above the rainbow
356
00:21:16,427 --> 00:21:20,427
♪ Why, oh, why... can't... ♪
357
00:21:23,587 --> 00:21:27,587
How much did he weigh,
when he were born?
358
00:21:28,027 --> 00:21:31,105
I don't like to put an exact
figure on it, y'know...
359
00:21:31,107 --> 00:21:33,545
They can get sensitive.
Bulimic, and that.
360
00:21:33,547 --> 00:21:36,065
Right, course.
361
00:21:36,067 --> 00:21:40,067
He had all his shots?
362
00:21:41,067 --> 00:21:44,705
Diphtheria, tetanus, polio...
Bubonic plague...?
363
00:21:44,707 --> 00:21:48,225
Is there a point to this?
He's fine!
364
00:21:48,227 --> 00:21:50,625
He's happy as a... baby.
365
00:21:50,627 --> 00:21:52,865
Nothing about this is fine.
366
00:21:52,867 --> 00:21:54,145
Oh, here it comes.
367
00:21:54,147 --> 00:21:56,425
Why can you lot never come back
with a smile?
368
00:21:56,427 --> 00:21:58,985
Always have to slip
a dagger in there, don't you?
369
00:21:58,987 --> 00:22:02,987
I'm just saying. Don't do to Stella
what you did to me.
370
00:22:04,987 --> 00:22:08,545
Yeah, give her a nice life,
happy home, family around her?
371
00:22:08,547 --> 00:22:12,065
I didn't get much of a childhood.
You made me the mother.
372
00:22:12,067 --> 00:22:16,067
You fucked off and abandoned us,
riding your high horse out of town.
373
00:22:16,507 --> 00:22:20,507
Some fucking mother you turned out
to be, eh?!
374
00:22:20,987 --> 00:22:24,987
Told you not to come back.
375
00:22:25,787 --> 00:22:29,787
Lip. Wait up.
376
00:22:30,307 --> 00:22:34,307
Take Frank down the pub. Monica.
Get them nice and drunk.
377
00:22:35,307 --> 00:22:36,985
Funeral party.
378
00:22:36,987 --> 00:22:40,905
You're not seriously falling for
his bullshit, are you?
379
00:22:40,907 --> 00:22:42,425
I'm taking the kids.
380
00:22:42,427 --> 00:22:45,505
Just tell me, from the heart,
you think it's the wrong thing to do.
381
00:22:45,507 --> 00:22:47,465
That they'd be better off here
with them.
382
00:22:47,467 --> 00:22:51,467
Just say it, and I'll keep it shut,
and do nothing.
383
00:22:55,667 --> 00:22:59,667
Drinks are on me! Don't worry.
Fiona's going to baby-sit the kids.
384
00:23:02,267 --> 00:23:04,465
Stella!
385
00:23:04,467 --> 00:23:08,467
Never hear the end of that one!
386
00:23:08,547 --> 00:23:12,225
Thanks, Fiona.
Total star, as always.
387
00:23:12,227 --> 00:23:13,501
Yeah.
388
00:23:29,443 --> 00:23:31,641
What?
Not bother answering your phone?
389
00:23:31,643 --> 00:23:35,643
Er, no, not when it's my day off
and I'm trying to have a lie-in.
390
00:23:39,002 --> 00:23:41,760
Look, I just need to go home
for an hour or so,
391
00:23:41,762 --> 00:23:44,600
I need to speak to Steve about something,
my head's all over the place.
392
00:23:44,602 --> 00:23:48,445
- "Hi, Kev, how are you, Kev?
Sorry for waking you, Kev."
- I just need your help.
393
00:23:48,747 --> 00:23:50,345
No! No, I can't.
394
00:23:50,347 --> 00:23:52,107
I'm rubbish with kids.
395
00:23:52,111 --> 00:23:54,731
This is Frank's daughter. Stella.
396
00:23:54,742 --> 00:23:55,980
And this is his new baby.
397
00:23:55,982 --> 00:23:57,460
This is Uncle Kev.
398
00:23:57,462 --> 00:24:01,462
Just Kev. Kev's fine.
Why can't Frank look after them?
399
00:24:04,702 --> 00:24:06,420
Fiona, what have you gone and done?
400
00:24:06,422 --> 00:24:08,980
I can't turn up at home with two
new kids. I need to warn Steve.
401
00:24:08,982 --> 00:24:10,980
Once I explain to him
what it's like for them
402
00:24:10,982 --> 00:24:12,780
here with Mum and Dad,
how bad it is,
403
00:24:12,782 --> 00:24:14,980
he'll probably suggest
the idea himself.
404
00:24:14,982 --> 00:24:17,460
Say, "Bring 'em to stay here!"
405
00:24:17,462 --> 00:24:19,180
Ohh!
406
00:24:19,182 --> 00:24:22,060
You do realise
that I am still saying no, right?
407
00:24:22,062 --> 00:24:23,900
Two hours, tops.
408
00:24:23,902 --> 00:24:27,500
You just said one a minute ago.
409
00:24:27,502 --> 00:24:31,502
Oh, Fiona. Fiona!
410
00:24:31,702 --> 00:24:34,500
So, you're Stella.
411
00:24:34,502 --> 00:24:36,220
What's this one called?
412
00:24:36,222 --> 00:24:40,222
Heineken?
413
00:24:40,302 --> 00:24:43,500
I keep on thinking about y'know,
what might have been.
414
00:24:43,502 --> 00:24:45,900
His little face
lighting up on Christmas Day.
415
00:24:45,902 --> 00:24:48,380
"Is that a bike, Mummy?
416
00:24:48,382 --> 00:24:52,382
"Did Santa bring it all the way
from the North Pole?"
417
00:24:52,822 --> 00:24:54,420
I need a slash.
418
00:24:54,422 --> 00:24:58,140
Poor kid. Just like Elvis.
He had a stillborn twin brother.
419
00:24:58,142 --> 00:25:01,060
The King was haunted by it,
all his life.
420
00:25:01,062 --> 00:25:02,340
Oh, don't say that.
421
00:25:02,342 --> 00:25:03,780
Yeah, don't.
422
00:25:03,782 --> 00:25:07,140
Maybe I should have another,
y'know, to keep him company.
423
00:25:07,142 --> 00:25:09,220
Oh, you want to give
your fanny a rest, love.
424
00:25:09,222 --> 00:25:13,222
Overworked as it is.
425
00:25:13,422 --> 00:25:14,940
Eh, come on, Mon.
426
00:25:14,942 --> 00:25:16,540
Turn that frown upside down.
427
00:25:16,542 --> 00:25:18,860
We're finally getting our party.
428
00:25:18,862 --> 00:25:22,862
How can you celebrate
at a time like this?
429
00:25:23,022 --> 00:25:26,660
This whole thing was meant
to cure your post-bloody-natalism.
430
00:25:26,662 --> 00:25:29,500
Cure?
431
00:25:29,502 --> 00:25:30,980
I'm not ill, Frank.
432
00:25:30,982 --> 00:25:34,900
I'm a human being
with feelings and emotions.
433
00:25:34,902 --> 00:25:37,340
I've been through
a very traumatic event.
434
00:25:37,342 --> 00:25:40,300
How many kids
have you had before, Mon, eh?
435
00:25:40,302 --> 00:25:42,140
Jesus, how many abortions, Mon?
436
00:25:42,142 --> 00:25:45,500
Double figures.
So c'mon, cheer up.
437
00:25:45,502 --> 00:25:47,980
Have a drink, few pills, a party.
438
00:25:47,982 --> 00:25:50,740
That's the best medicine.
439
00:25:50,742 --> 00:25:53,660
Right?
440
00:25:53,662 --> 00:25:55,180
♪ Baby love
441
00:25:55,182 --> 00:25:57,420
♪ My baby love
442
00:25:57,422 --> 00:26:00,300
♪ Baby, oh, oh... ♪
443
00:26:00,302 --> 00:26:02,340
What?
444
00:26:02,342 --> 00:26:04,620
Can you not even pretend
to take this seriously?
445
00:26:04,622 --> 00:26:06,020
No.
446
00:26:06,022 --> 00:26:09,180
I'm trying, Fiona is,
even Dad's doing his bit.
447
00:26:09,182 --> 00:26:10,540
Oh, yeah.!
448
00:26:10,542 --> 00:26:12,580
Fiona's taking it
really fucking serious!
449
00:26:12,582 --> 00:26:13,980
Off the scale.
450
00:26:13,982 --> 00:26:15,420
What's that supposed to mean?
451
00:26:15,422 --> 00:26:19,340
Oh, mate. Can't you work out
the pieces, Columbo?
452
00:26:19,342 --> 00:26:21,780
We're here.
453
00:26:21,782 --> 00:26:24,780
Fiona, Stella, the new baby,
454
00:26:24,782 --> 00:26:28,782
they're not.
455
00:26:29,862 --> 00:26:31,220
Nah, she wouldn't.
456
00:26:31,222 --> 00:26:34,140
She already has.
457
00:26:34,142 --> 00:26:35,700
Wait, where you going?
458
00:26:35,702 --> 00:26:38,180
Where do you think?
459
00:26:38,182 --> 00:26:39,340
Carl!
460
00:26:39,342 --> 00:26:43,342
Don't say owt!
461
00:26:43,782 --> 00:26:46,420
Enough!
462
00:26:46,422 --> 00:26:47,740
Aaaaaargh!
463
00:26:47,742 --> 00:26:49,900
Enough!
464
00:26:49,902 --> 00:26:51,900
Stop it!
465
00:26:51,902 --> 00:26:54,420
Stop that now!
466
00:26:54,422 --> 00:26:57,100
How dare you disgrace
your brother's memory!
467
00:26:57,102 --> 00:26:59,460
They've nicked them!
They've nicked them!
468
00:26:59,462 --> 00:27:00,820
What are you talking about?
469
00:27:00,822 --> 00:27:01,500
Shut up!
470
00:27:01,502 --> 00:27:04,660
Fiona. She's taken the kids!
471
00:27:04,662 --> 00:27:05,980
I know.
472
00:27:05,982 --> 00:27:08,460
No. Away. For good.
473
00:27:08,462 --> 00:27:12,462
Will you shut up?
Just shut it, will you!
474
00:27:18,902 --> 00:27:20,140
Frank!
475
00:27:20,142 --> 00:27:21,980
What?
476
00:27:21,982 --> 00:27:23,340
My babies!
477
00:27:23,342 --> 00:27:27,342
Fiona! She's taken my babies!
478
00:27:31,982 --> 00:27:35,982
Babies eat cornflakes, don't they?
479
00:27:36,582 --> 00:27:39,060
Babies eat cornflakes,
everyone does, don't they?
480
00:27:39,062 --> 00:27:42,220
Right.
481
00:27:42,222 --> 00:27:44,540
Stella?
482
00:27:44,542 --> 00:27:47,020
Oh, right, you're playing
hide 'n' seek, are you?
483
00:27:47,022 --> 00:27:51,022
All right, you've won.
484
00:27:55,862 --> 00:27:56,980
Oh, no!
485
00:27:56,982 --> 00:27:59,340
No, no!
486
00:27:59,342 --> 00:28:02,140
No!
487
00:28:02,142 --> 00:28:03,460
Stella!
488
00:28:03,462 --> 00:28:05,700
So much for happy bloody families.
489
00:28:05,702 --> 00:28:07,860
Where's Fiona taken them?
490
00:28:07,862 --> 00:28:11,620
I'm not telling you
fucking anything.
491
00:28:11,622 --> 00:28:12,700
You're a squealer.
492
00:28:12,702 --> 00:28:13,940
What if it were your kid, Lip?
493
00:28:13,942 --> 00:28:17,942
What if Fiona decided you
weren't fit to look after Katie, eh?
494
00:28:18,262 --> 00:28:21,140
We'll get the police on her,
social, everyone.
495
00:28:21,142 --> 00:28:25,142
I am not letting that uppity bitch
take my children from me. Not now, not ever.
496
00:28:25,382 --> 00:28:26,700
Ssh. Ssh now.
497
00:28:26,702 --> 00:28:28,180
Don't shush me!
498
00:28:28,182 --> 00:28:30,980
No, no. This is what
we always wanted, Mon.
499
00:28:30,982 --> 00:28:32,540
The big dream.
500
00:28:32,542 --> 00:28:34,620
To be free of the kids.
501
00:28:34,622 --> 00:28:36,380
Let 'em go, on the breeze.
502
00:28:36,382 --> 00:28:37,820
You're a monster!
503
00:28:37,822 --> 00:28:41,822
You've buried
an empty fucking box today.
504
00:28:43,702 --> 00:28:46,300
Get away from me, you repulsive...
505
00:28:46,302 --> 00:28:50,302
cunt!
506
00:28:50,542 --> 00:28:52,380
Being honest.
507
00:28:52,382 --> 00:28:55,620
I know you feel the same way.
This is it.
508
00:28:55,622 --> 00:28:59,622
This is our chance.
509
00:29:01,542 --> 00:29:03,860
Just get out, Frank!
510
00:29:03,862 --> 00:29:07,862
I wish you had
never, never come back.
511
00:29:08,262 --> 00:29:10,180
Now, out!
512
00:29:10,182 --> 00:29:14,182
Go on!
513
00:29:14,302 --> 00:29:18,302
Out! Go on.
514
00:29:21,582 --> 00:29:23,300
Take a good look.
515
00:29:23,302 --> 00:29:24,460
Eh?
516
00:29:24,462 --> 00:29:27,140
Take a fucking photo.
517
00:29:27,142 --> 00:29:31,142
Because this, this is the last time
518
00:29:31,382 --> 00:29:35,382
you will ever see
Vernon Francis Gallagher.
519
00:29:47,302 --> 00:29:51,302
Forgot me fags.
520
00:29:58,742 --> 00:30:01,918
- Lost. I've lost 'em.
- What do you mean you've lost 'em?
521
00:30:02,222 --> 00:30:04,140
Well, one minute they were there,
522
00:30:04,142 --> 00:30:08,142
and then they weren't.
523
00:30:08,582 --> 00:30:09,860
Frank...
524
00:30:09,862 --> 00:30:11,060
I...
525
00:30:11,062 --> 00:30:14,180
I've lost your kids.
526
00:30:14,182 --> 00:30:18,182
I'm so sorry, mate.
527
00:30:21,822 --> 00:30:24,420
See if you can make the rest of
'em disappear, there'll be
528
00:30:24,422 --> 00:30:26,820
a little something extra
in your pay packet this week.
529
00:30:26,822 --> 00:30:30,620
Frank! This is serious.
530
00:30:30,622 --> 00:30:34,180
Kev Ball. Smarter than he looks.
531
00:30:34,182 --> 00:30:36,340
Admittedly no great achievement.
532
00:30:36,342 --> 00:30:40,300
But, he's got no kids,
nothing tying him down.
533
00:30:40,302 --> 00:30:43,060
Oh, he's got it all sorted,
has our Kev.
534
00:30:43,062 --> 00:30:45,220
But me, 16 years old,
535
00:30:45,222 --> 00:30:49,222
walked out of school
for the last time, world at my feet.
536
00:30:49,982 --> 00:30:52,220
And what did I do?
I had kids. Tons of them.
537
00:30:52,222 --> 00:30:55,100
Boat loads of the
mewling, whining twats.
538
00:30:55,102 --> 00:30:56,140
Oi!
539
00:30:56,142 --> 00:30:58,700
Frank Gallagher. Fucking genius.
540
00:30:58,702 --> 00:31:01,700
Keep fucking and breeding,
fucking and breeding.
541
00:31:01,702 --> 00:31:03,900
Each kid, 16 to 18 years.
542
00:31:03,902 --> 00:31:05,780
At least,
543
00:31:05,782 --> 00:31:07,580
that's prison.
544
00:31:07,582 --> 00:31:11,220
Socrates. Alexander the Great.
Julius Caesar. Lenny Da Vinci.
545
00:31:11,222 --> 00:31:12,620
All great men.
546
00:31:12,622 --> 00:31:15,380
None of 'em were stupid
enough to have any kids.
547
00:31:15,382 --> 00:31:18,020
But we can't all do great things.
548
00:31:18,022 --> 00:31:21,620
Life is long. Have to fill it
somehow. Distract yourself.
549
00:31:21,622 --> 00:31:23,100
Films. Telly.
550
00:31:23,102 --> 00:31:24,900
Music. Pub.
551
00:31:24,902 --> 00:31:26,900
Fiddling on fucking mobile phones
552
00:31:26,902 --> 00:31:30,540
like the meaning of life
might pop up any second.
553
00:31:30,542 --> 00:31:33,020
Worshipping overpaid ponces
554
00:31:33,022 --> 00:31:36,460
who's only loyalty
is to the almighty pound.
555
00:31:36,462 --> 00:31:40,340
Waiting for that moment,
556
00:31:40,342 --> 00:31:44,342
that wonder that will put everything
557
00:31:44,582 --> 00:31:47,540
into some kind of order,
that will say
558
00:31:47,542 --> 00:31:50,420
"Your life was not in vain."
559
00:31:50,422 --> 00:31:53,660
Mind you, I'd still let Franny Lee
shit in my mouth for nothing.
560
00:31:53,662 --> 00:31:57,262
But he was a different class
though, like Buzzer and Bell!
561
00:31:59,822 --> 00:32:03,500
Yeahhhhhh!
562
00:32:03,502 --> 00:32:06,820
We're not nearly here.
563
00:32:06,822 --> 00:32:10,822
But to fill your empty
little life with family,
564
00:32:10,982 --> 00:32:14,982
ungrateful, selfish family,
that's the biggest joke of all.
565
00:32:15,822 --> 00:32:19,822
Regret whatever you did or
you didn't, the lives you ruined,
566
00:32:20,302 --> 00:32:22,780
the ones you saved,
it makes no difference.
567
00:32:22,782 --> 00:32:23,980
It all ends in dust.
568
00:32:23,982 --> 00:32:27,300
And I'm tired
of pretending not to care
569
00:32:27,302 --> 00:32:29,220
or caring not to pretend
570
00:32:29,222 --> 00:32:33,222
and I can't remember
what it was like before them.
571
00:32:35,422 --> 00:32:38,060
Before the fucking kids, the bills,
572
00:32:38,062 --> 00:32:41,300
the towering horror of family life
573
00:32:41,302 --> 00:32:45,220
casting its shadow over every single
fucking breath I take,
574
00:32:45,222 --> 00:32:46,820
another mouth to feed,
575
00:32:46,822 --> 00:32:50,822
another wailing anguished mouth
to tell me what I already know.
576
00:32:53,342 --> 00:32:57,342
I am not good enough.
577
00:32:57,462 --> 00:32:59,860
And them,
578
00:32:59,862 --> 00:33:03,862
they're always the ones to leave.
579
00:33:04,702 --> 00:33:08,702
I've had it the wrong way round.
Should have been me.
580
00:33:15,902 --> 00:33:19,902
Magic mystery bus to wherever.
581
00:33:21,342 --> 00:33:25,342
One-way ticket,
thank you, no return.
582
00:33:30,102 --> 00:33:34,102
I'm the one who needs to walk away.
583
00:33:38,342 --> 00:33:39,740
Dad?
584
00:33:39,742 --> 00:33:41,860
Oh, what are you doing here?
585
00:33:41,862 --> 00:33:43,100
I followed you.
586
00:33:43,102 --> 00:33:46,500
Well, don't.
You're better off with Fiona.
587
00:33:46,502 --> 00:33:47,980
I mean,
588
00:33:47,982 --> 00:33:51,100
I don't paint eggs
and go to the swing park,
589
00:33:51,102 --> 00:33:53,260
or have teddy bear's
fucking tea parties.
590
00:33:53,262 --> 00:33:55,140
You're better off with her.
591
00:33:55,142 --> 00:33:57,940
You getting on mate or what?
592
00:33:57,942 --> 00:34:01,300
Get off! You were a mistake.
Don't you get it?
593
00:34:01,302 --> 00:34:04,040
You ruined my life,
the day you were born.
594
00:34:04,042 --> 00:34:05,042
Oh, what's that?
595
00:34:05,123 --> 00:34:06,683
Another one, another trap?
596
00:34:06,737 --> 00:34:08,477
You ruined my life!
597
00:34:28,559 --> 00:34:32,739
Right. Look everywhere for them.
Yeah? Every street, every alley.
598
00:34:32,752 --> 00:34:35,612
They've got to be here somewhere.
599
00:34:35,687 --> 00:34:37,565
How do you lose two fucking kids?
600
00:34:37,567 --> 00:34:38,885
It's my day off.
601
00:34:38,887 --> 00:34:41,485
Somebody's
gonna need to keep Monica busy.
602
00:34:41,487 --> 00:34:44,245
Stella, come on now,
where are you?
603
00:34:44,247 --> 00:34:47,245
Me?
604
00:34:47,247 --> 00:34:50,565
If she finds out
they're missing... Boom!
605
00:34:50,567 --> 00:34:52,485
How am I gonna do that?
606
00:34:52,487 --> 00:34:56,487
You're a smart lad, Kev.
You'll work summat out.
607
00:35:00,847 --> 00:35:04,847
Lillian, I need your help.
608
00:35:05,367 --> 00:35:09,367
Stella!
609
00:35:09,887 --> 00:35:11,405
Stella.
610
00:35:11,407 --> 00:35:12,645
Stella, love.
611
00:35:12,647 --> 00:35:16,085
Feel for you. You've not
been around much, have you?
612
00:35:16,087 --> 00:35:20,087
Patreesha's practically taken
over being Ches' mum.
613
00:35:20,687 --> 00:35:24,687
Expect she'll be, er, pushing you out
the picture when the baby pops out.
614
00:35:25,287 --> 00:35:28,605
Nah. We're family.
615
00:35:28,607 --> 00:35:32,005
Where's Ches and Mary Mae now?
616
00:35:32,007 --> 00:35:33,605
Round at Patreesha's.
617
00:35:33,607 --> 00:35:37,607
Oh, right.
618
00:35:39,447 --> 00:35:43,005
Stella!
619
00:35:43,007 --> 00:35:44,765
Stella!
620
00:35:44,767 --> 00:35:48,767
Stella! Come on home!
621
00:35:50,287 --> 00:35:51,485
What we gonna do?
622
00:35:51,487 --> 00:35:55,285
I don't know.
Fiona always sorted this shit out.
623
00:35:55,287 --> 00:35:58,005
Well, she's landed us
all in it this time, hasn't she?
624
00:35:58,007 --> 00:35:59,765
You know, Mum's gonna go mental.
625
00:35:59,767 --> 00:36:01,525
Stella!
626
00:36:01,527 --> 00:36:02,965
You know what? Call the police.
627
00:36:02,967 --> 00:36:04,965
Have Fiona dragged off
in fucking chains.
628
00:36:04,967 --> 00:36:08,605
Fuck that! What if we
just don't find them.
629
00:36:08,607 --> 00:36:12,607
I mean Stella and the baby.
What if they're just... Gone.
630
00:36:15,327 --> 00:36:19,327
Stella!
631
00:36:22,727 --> 00:36:26,727
Didn't have me bus fare.
Quid should do it.
632
00:36:31,687 --> 00:36:34,565
Never understood
the appeal of these places.
633
00:36:34,567 --> 00:36:37,485
I mean, look at that kid.
634
00:36:37,487 --> 00:36:41,487
Definition of "easily amused"
that one.
635
00:36:47,167 --> 00:36:50,325
Look, kiddo, we don't have
to part on bad terms.
636
00:36:50,327 --> 00:36:52,445
You told me to go away.
637
00:36:52,447 --> 00:36:55,605
Well, yeah, I did, but...
638
00:36:55,607 --> 00:36:57,565
You said I was a mistake.
639
00:36:57,567 --> 00:37:01,567
Yeah, and it was. But, you know,
all me kids were mistakes.
640
00:37:07,847 --> 00:37:11,847
Look. My father, he was...
641
00:37:12,367 --> 00:37:13,765
You all right, love?
642
00:37:13,767 --> 00:37:14,845
You all right, love?
643
00:37:14,847 --> 00:37:16,605
Is this man bothering you?
644
00:37:16,607 --> 00:37:19,445
Oh, great! The curtain twitchers.
645
00:37:19,447 --> 00:37:20,845
I'm her dad, love.
646
00:37:20,847 --> 00:37:23,365
He's not my dad.
647
00:37:23,367 --> 00:37:24,885
She's just in a mood.
648
00:37:24,887 --> 00:37:25,645
Do you know him?
649
00:37:25,647 --> 00:37:26,845
He's not my dad.
650
00:37:26,847 --> 00:37:28,645
Look, I think
maybe you should leave.
651
00:37:28,647 --> 00:37:30,325
Well, that's the plan.
652
00:37:30,327 --> 00:37:33,285
So I suggest you should
mind your own fucking beeswax.
653
00:37:33,287 --> 00:37:35,645
Right. That's it.
I'm phoning the police.
654
00:37:35,647 --> 00:37:38,005
Look, I'm her fucking father!
655
00:37:38,007 --> 00:37:39,325
He's not my dad.
656
00:37:39,327 --> 00:37:42,285
It is a disgrace. Nowhere
is safe from them these days.
657
00:37:42,287 --> 00:37:44,085
I'm telling you, you weirdo.
658
00:37:44,087 --> 00:37:46,765
I am not one of them.
I'm one of you.
659
00:37:46,767 --> 00:37:49,005
I'm just a simple person,
660
00:37:49,007 --> 00:37:51,525
struggling with
the hopes and fears of parenthood.
661
00:37:51,527 --> 00:37:53,485
My dad is nice and kind.
662
00:37:53,487 --> 00:37:54,885
I'm kind!
663
00:37:54,887 --> 00:37:58,887
And he never tells me to go away
and he never shouts at me
664
00:37:59,447 --> 00:38:03,447
and he takes me places
and he loves me.
665
00:38:03,927 --> 00:38:07,927
I love you!
666
00:38:14,527 --> 00:38:18,527
I want to go
and play on the swings now.
667
00:38:30,967 --> 00:38:32,325
See, told you.
668
00:38:32,327 --> 00:38:34,165
So why don't you
take your pitchforks
669
00:38:34,167 --> 00:38:36,125
and go and torment
some other poor bastard.
670
00:38:36,127 --> 00:38:37,725
You've gotta be careful, you know.
671
00:38:37,727 --> 00:38:39,685
I'm sorry
but you do look like a right weirdo.
672
00:38:39,687 --> 00:38:42,087
Come on.
673
00:38:50,287 --> 00:38:54,287
Oh, for fuck's sake.
674
00:38:57,367 --> 00:39:00,525
Hiya, Monica, where you off to?
675
00:39:00,527 --> 00:39:02,085
Home.
676
00:39:02,087 --> 00:39:04,925
I've got you this. It needs a walk.
677
00:39:04,927 --> 00:39:06,205
It's missing a leg.
678
00:39:06,207 --> 00:39:09,285
It's a stray.
They were going to put it down.
679
00:39:09,287 --> 00:39:10,405
Terminate it.
680
00:39:10,407 --> 00:39:13,205
Awww. It's only got three legs.
681
00:39:13,207 --> 00:39:14,525
Yeah, I know.
682
00:39:14,527 --> 00:39:18,527
Poor little bugger.
Nobody to love you. Nobody to care.
683
00:39:20,687 --> 00:39:22,565
Just like me.
684
00:39:22,567 --> 00:39:26,285
Come here, you.
685
00:39:26,287 --> 00:39:29,125
You take your time. Get acquainted.
686
00:39:29,127 --> 00:39:31,805
Why are you being so nice to me?
687
00:39:31,807 --> 00:39:34,405
I'm just being neighbourly,
you know and all that.
688
00:39:34,407 --> 00:39:36,805
I might be post natal
but I'm not post stupid.
689
00:39:36,807 --> 00:39:40,807
What are you hiding?
690
00:39:41,127 --> 00:39:44,045
Kev? Where's the kids?
691
00:39:44,047 --> 00:39:46,405
Yes, that's the thing, isn't it,
Fiona?
692
00:39:46,407 --> 00:39:50,407
You steal my children, and then you
abandon them with this idiot.
693
00:39:50,447 --> 00:39:52,285
It's my day off!
694
00:39:52,287 --> 00:39:53,805
You lost them?
695
00:39:53,807 --> 00:39:56,525
Well, don't blame him.
You're the one that done this.
696
00:39:56,527 --> 00:39:59,485
Oh, that's right, I was the one
who ignored them, who made Stella
697
00:39:59,487 --> 00:40:03,487
look after a little baby
all by herself. It was all me, Mum.
698
00:40:06,687 --> 00:40:10,525
You get that one. But that's all.
699
00:40:10,527 --> 00:40:13,445
You should have been beaten
every day of your life.
700
00:40:13,447 --> 00:40:15,005
Why did you come back?
701
00:40:15,007 --> 00:40:16,685
To show us where we were going wrong?
702
00:40:16,687 --> 00:40:17,765
You asked me.
703
00:40:17,767 --> 00:40:20,885
Well, I wish I hadn't.
You're tearing this family apart.
704
00:40:20,887 --> 00:40:23,365
I was the one who kept it together!
For years!
705
00:40:23,367 --> 00:40:24,965
I was the fucking glue!
706
00:40:24,967 --> 00:40:26,885
No childhood, no let up.
707
00:40:26,887 --> 00:40:29,565
Where were you? Where the
fuck was you?
708
00:40:29,567 --> 00:40:32,127
All right, Fiona... Ow!
709
00:40:34,087 --> 00:40:38,045
Eh, eh, can you keep the noise down?
The baby's sleeping.
710
00:40:38,047 --> 00:40:40,885
Where were they?
711
00:40:40,887 --> 00:40:44,205
With me. We went to the swing park.
712
00:40:44,207 --> 00:40:45,965
Why? Was there a problem?
713
00:40:45,967 --> 00:40:47,725
No, no. You are not doing this.
714
00:40:47,727 --> 00:40:51,685
You are not whitewashing over this.
She stole our children.
715
00:40:51,687 --> 00:40:52,805
Give me the baby, Frank.
716
00:40:52,807 --> 00:40:53,925
Dad. It's Dad.
717
00:40:53,927 --> 00:40:55,445
Give him to me.
718
00:40:55,447 --> 00:40:57,365
You are not taking our kids.
719
00:40:57,367 --> 00:40:58,405
No, you're not.
720
00:40:58,407 --> 00:40:59,845
You think this changes anything?
721
00:40:59,847 --> 00:41:02,205
How long are you going to
stay for this time, Mum?
722
00:41:02,207 --> 00:41:05,725
How many years is it gonna take
to get a loaf of bread?
723
00:41:05,727 --> 00:41:08,925
Stella!
724
00:41:08,927 --> 00:41:10,165
Where's the baby?
725
00:41:10,167 --> 00:41:13,285
In there with their dad.
726
00:41:13,287 --> 00:41:16,765
Go on then, tell her.
She's not taking our children.
727
00:41:16,767 --> 00:41:18,725
They're on my side.
728
00:41:18,727 --> 00:41:20,925
We're not on anyone's side. Jesus!
729
00:41:20,927 --> 00:41:24,165
You seriously think it's fine to
leave these kids with him and her?
730
00:41:24,167 --> 00:41:25,965
Nah, you're right.
731
00:41:25,967 --> 00:41:27,405
I mean, you were stuck with us.
732
00:41:27,407 --> 00:41:29,965
And look what a fuck-up
you turned out.
733
00:41:29,967 --> 00:41:31,485
Piss off.
734
00:41:31,487 --> 00:41:35,487
Exactly. You turned out OK.
So did I. And Ian...
735
00:41:35,607 --> 00:41:39,165
Well, Ian's marrying a tranny but,
you know, it's wonderful,
736
00:41:39,167 --> 00:41:40,885
best of both worlds.
737
00:41:40,887 --> 00:41:43,365
And Debbie, off tackling insurgents,
738
00:41:43,367 --> 00:41:47,367
and Liam, getting his act together,
Buddhism - it's crazy!
739
00:41:48,047 --> 00:41:49,325
What about me?
740
00:41:49,327 --> 00:41:53,205
Could be worse. Could be a Tory.
741
00:41:53,207 --> 00:41:57,207
It doesn't change anything.
They don't care about us.
742
00:41:57,967 --> 00:42:01,967
They never will.
743
00:42:02,527 --> 00:42:06,527
Dad didn't get the bus.
He was going away but he didn't.
744
00:42:09,047 --> 00:42:13,047
Why not?
745
00:42:13,247 --> 00:42:17,247
There were financial issues vis-a-vis
the purchase of a ticket.
746
00:42:19,247 --> 00:42:23,247
I'll lend it you.
Nah, I'll give it you.
747
00:42:24,807 --> 00:42:28,807
Anything you like.
748
00:42:29,807 --> 00:42:32,245
You don't want to.
749
00:42:32,247 --> 00:42:36,247
You can't, can you?
750
00:42:37,127 --> 00:42:41,127
Not while there's still some of us
around.
751
00:42:45,647 --> 00:42:48,485
Right. Get your coats.
752
00:42:48,487 --> 00:42:50,285
Get your coats!
753
00:42:50,287 --> 00:42:53,205
Come on, you lot always think
the worst about me, don't you?
754
00:42:53,207 --> 00:42:55,405
Come on. Come on!
755
00:42:55,407 --> 00:42:59,407
Drinks. For the family.
756
00:43:06,847 --> 00:43:08,765
It's OK, it's OK, I'll do it.
757
00:43:08,767 --> 00:43:11,245
Erm, I'm not useless.
758
00:43:11,247 --> 00:43:13,965
I know your game.
Trying to sideline me.
759
00:43:13,967 --> 00:43:15,365
Fucking wise to you.
760
00:43:15,367 --> 00:43:16,685
Watch your mouth, you.
761
00:43:16,687 --> 00:43:18,485
Don't talk to her like that.
762
00:43:18,487 --> 00:43:20,685
I can fight my own battles,
you mad bitch.
763
00:43:20,687 --> 00:43:22,525
Who are you calling a mad bitch?
764
00:43:22,527 --> 00:43:24,125
I'm calling you a mad bitch!
765
00:43:24,127 --> 00:43:26,047
Fuck's sake!
766
00:43:28,807 --> 00:43:31,685
It's not a party
without a proper fight.
767
00:43:31,687 --> 00:43:35,687
I am so turned on right now.
768
00:43:37,087 --> 00:43:41,087
You did a good job.
769
00:43:41,207 --> 00:43:43,205
S'pose.
770
00:43:43,207 --> 00:43:46,407
I s'pose there are a couple of
things I could learn from you.
771
00:43:49,287 --> 00:43:52,405
Mum!
772
00:43:52,407 --> 00:43:55,605
I can't, I'm post natal.
773
00:43:55,607 --> 00:43:57,085
C'mon.
774
00:43:57,087 --> 00:43:58,885
You're not bloody post natal.
775
00:43:58,887 --> 00:44:01,605
You just want to be
the centre of attention.
776
00:44:01,607 --> 00:44:04,565
There's lots of things you don't
know about me, Fiona Gallagher.
777
00:44:04,567 --> 00:44:05,565
Come on.
778
00:44:05,567 --> 00:44:07,565
Ooh!
779
00:44:07,567 --> 00:44:11,567
Fi, go and get her a drink.
780
00:44:19,247 --> 00:44:23,247
Come on, Fi, come and dance.
Come on.
781
00:44:23,647 --> 00:44:25,125
Come on, we're dancing.
782
00:44:25,127 --> 00:44:29,127
Come and have a dance.
783
00:44:30,007 --> 00:44:32,365
Somebody's nicked all our pills
from behind the bar.
784
00:44:32,367 --> 00:44:34,085
Wonder who that could be?
785
00:44:34,087 --> 00:44:38,087
I tell you what, do us a favour
and we'll say no more about it.
786
00:44:41,047 --> 00:44:43,565
Some twat's still not
shifted his car from outside.
787
00:44:43,567 --> 00:44:47,565
You know what to do.
788
00:44:47,567 --> 00:44:53,528
My kids say they hate me,
but secretly they love me.
789
00:44:53,567 --> 00:44:58,842
And I love them but secretly
hate them, well, not so secretly,
790
00:44:58,887 --> 00:45:00,805
but it doesn't matter.
791
00:45:00,807 --> 00:45:06,330
They'll whinge and whine and moan
and groan about the shadow I cast.
792
00:45:06,927 --> 00:45:12,680
That I defined their lives.
But it's all upside down.
793
00:45:13,887 --> 00:45:16,527
It was them that defined me.
794
00:45:22,207 --> 00:45:26,207
Without them I'm just that guy
at the end of the bar.
795
00:45:27,047 --> 00:45:31,047
That guy quite possibly soiling
himself on the public transport.
796
00:45:31,327 --> 00:45:34,925
The fella sitting slumped on
a park bench, Sunday afternoon,
797
00:45:34,927 --> 00:45:36,967
as the world dissipates around him.
798
00:45:43,687 --> 00:45:46,925
Or, you know, maybe I would
have been an investment banker
799
00:45:46,927 --> 00:45:50,525
with a surgically enhanced wife
and a penis extension for a car,
800
00:45:50,527 --> 00:45:56,157
but either way,
I'm not part of them.
801
00:45:56,444 --> 00:46:00,433
They're parts of me.
All of 'em.
802
00:46:31,527 --> 00:46:37,771
These annoying, ungrateful,
amazing bastards I call my kids,
803
00:46:38,687 --> 00:46:42,687
think for themselves,
speak their mind, go their own way,
804
00:46:42,847 --> 00:46:45,005
show me how it should be done.
805
00:46:45,007 --> 00:46:49,007
And, most importantly,
first and foremost to a man,
806
00:46:49,247 --> 00:46:54,818
they'll always know what the most
vital necessity in this life is.
807
00:46:56,487 --> 00:46:59,005
Right?
808
00:46:59,007 --> 00:47:00,125
Right?
809
00:47:00,127 --> 00:47:02,478
Scatter!
810
00:47:21,786 --> 00:47:23,966
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