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1
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It's actually been a year since he's
gone.
2
00:02:40,800 --> 00:02:42,320
You know, it brings back a lot of
memories.
3
00:02:44,280 --> 00:02:46,320
This place gives me the creeps.
4
00:02:46,840 --> 00:02:51,000
Don't you find it strange that the
executor of the estate sent you a letter
5
00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:55,020
your grandfather a year after he died
that can only be opened in his house?
6
00:02:55,440 --> 00:02:57,080
I mean, that's like a letter from the
grave.
7
00:02:58,660 --> 00:02:59,660
Spooky.
8
00:02:59,800 --> 00:03:01,020
I say we don't stay here.
9
00:03:01,380 --> 00:03:02,380
Oh, come on.
10
00:03:03,120 --> 00:03:05,520
I mean, what in this place was it?
11
00:03:05,880 --> 00:03:07,200
Makes me feel like a kid again.
12
00:03:07,480 --> 00:03:08,960
What do you say we go upstairs and wet
the bed?
13
00:03:09,200 --> 00:03:10,220
You're such a knucklehead.
14
00:03:11,200 --> 00:03:12,360
Can we make this a quick visit?
15
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Okay, fine.
16
00:03:14,240 --> 00:03:15,740
Hey, there he is.
17
00:03:16,320 --> 00:03:17,320
Your grandpa.
18
00:03:17,440 --> 00:03:18,600
Except that I had Jackson.
19
00:03:19,040 --> 00:03:21,020
Why, he was the greatest storyteller
ever.
20
00:03:21,280 --> 00:03:23,980
I mean, he could tell you about
historical events just like he was
21
00:03:23,980 --> 00:03:24,959
there.
22
00:03:24,960 --> 00:03:25,960
He was the greatest.
23
00:03:28,040 --> 00:03:29,040
Is this him, too?
24
00:03:30,680 --> 00:03:34,040
Ah, no, no. That was his grandpa,
General Jeb Jackson.
25
00:03:34,480 --> 00:03:36,420
He rode with Robert E. Lee with the old
Virginia.
26
00:03:36,660 --> 00:03:39,480
Yep, back in the old war. You know, with
the Southern Independence?
27
00:03:40,080 --> 00:03:44,460
Yeah. Why? Grandpa used to tell me that
he had quite a reputation about it. Why,
28
00:03:44,480 --> 00:03:47,460
when he would go onto the battlefield,
the Yankees would take one look at him
29
00:03:47,460 --> 00:03:48,460
and turn tail and run.
30
00:03:48,620 --> 00:03:49,860
Oh, yeah, he was great.
31
00:03:50,200 --> 00:03:53,140
And, of course, after the war, he was
quite an engine fighter.
32
00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:56,240
The Indians would see him shaking their
moccasins.
33
00:03:58,260 --> 00:04:00,620
Hmm, I see the family resemblance.
34
00:04:01,980 --> 00:04:02,980
You know what's weird?
35
00:04:03,790 --> 00:04:08,050
If you compare the ZZ Top look, these
guys look exactly the same.
36
00:04:08,810 --> 00:04:09,810
Yeah.
37
00:04:10,310 --> 00:04:11,310
You know, you're right.
38
00:04:11,830 --> 00:04:15,370
But other than the similarities with
their looks, that's all that they had in
39
00:04:15,370 --> 00:04:20,029
common. I mean, great -grandpa, why, he
was a great war hero and an engine
40
00:04:20,029 --> 00:04:24,090
fighter. And grandpa here, well, he was
a scientist and an inventor.
41
00:04:24,430 --> 00:04:25,850
Quite an eccentric one at that.
42
00:04:26,590 --> 00:04:27,710
What happened to you?
43
00:04:27,990 --> 00:04:31,410
Hey, being a chiropractor is a noble
occupation.
44
00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:34,760
Why, I aligned many important people.
45
00:04:35,200 --> 00:04:38,080
What, you know what they say, if you're
not properly aligned, don't you?
46
00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:41,700
No, but I'm sure you're about to tell
me. Well, your tires go bald and your
47
00:04:41,700 --> 00:04:42,319
end shakes.
48
00:04:42,320 --> 00:04:43,320
But enough about that.
49
00:04:43,940 --> 00:04:47,960
Anyway, why don't I take you to the most
important room, Grandpa's laboratory.
50
00:04:55,040 --> 00:04:56,040
Wow,
51
00:04:56,540 --> 00:04:57,960
look at all this stuff.
52
00:04:58,820 --> 00:05:00,140
What was he working on?
53
00:05:01,240 --> 00:05:03,900
I don't know. I mean, he was real
secretive about his last project.
54
00:05:04,140 --> 00:05:07,820
Didn't want it to fall into the wrong
hands. Something about commie spies
55
00:05:07,820 --> 00:05:09,400
everywhere. What a guy.
56
00:05:09,700 --> 00:05:11,780
I get some Sandy. It's the red scary.
57
00:05:14,040 --> 00:05:16,480
Could be too much chlorine in the gene
pool.
58
00:05:16,880 --> 00:05:19,060
Now, will you open that letter for me to
call out of here? Okay.
59
00:05:19,960 --> 00:05:20,960
Come on. Come on.
60
00:05:24,080 --> 00:05:25,080
Come on.
61
00:05:25,320 --> 00:05:26,320
Randall.
62
00:05:30,200 --> 00:05:33,540
If you're reading this, then it means
that your old grandpa's gone. And I have
63
00:05:33,540 --> 00:05:35,540
something to tell you that you're going
to find hard to understand.
64
00:05:35,800 --> 00:05:36,800
Those things are.
65
00:05:38,300 --> 00:05:40,980
Stories that I told you when you were a
kid were not passed down.
66
00:05:41,220 --> 00:05:42,520
I actually lived them.
67
00:05:43,880 --> 00:05:46,940
That's right. I was the ancestor that
was in King Arthur's court.
68
00:05:47,540 --> 00:05:50,740
I crossed the ocean with Columbus and
fought the revolution.
69
00:05:51,480 --> 00:05:55,820
And yes, the truth is, the truth is I
was also the old general, an Indian
70
00:05:55,820 --> 00:05:59,820
fighter. Your real ancestors were
nothing but bootleggers and horse
71
00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:03,360
So I single -handedly had given you a
family tree that you could be proud of.
72
00:06:04,600 --> 00:06:07,240
What size straight jacket did you say
your grandfather wore?
73
00:06:07,520 --> 00:06:08,520
Would you shut up?
74
00:06:08,740 --> 00:06:10,140
I've invented a time machine.
75
00:06:10,440 --> 00:06:12,240
A time machine? Yes, a time machine.
76
00:06:14,420 --> 00:06:17,460
Einstein's theory states time is not
consistent, but flexible.
77
00:06:17,940 --> 00:06:21,520
With this machine, there is no longer
any distinction between three
78
00:06:21,520 --> 00:06:22,520
time and space.
79
00:06:23,020 --> 00:06:27,920
I have proven that they are fused in a
four -dimensional time and space
80
00:06:27,920 --> 00:06:28,920
continuum.
81
00:06:29,690 --> 00:06:30,509
Of course.
82
00:06:30,510 --> 00:06:33,290
I mean, it just makes perfectly good
sense.
83
00:06:33,590 --> 00:06:36,170
I mean, that's why I went to college. I
should know this.
84
00:06:37,190 --> 00:06:38,190
Perfect sense.
85
00:06:40,650 --> 00:06:42,710
You have heard of the fourth dimension.
86
00:06:43,650 --> 00:06:49,890
No. Now, the fifth dimension I've heard
of, you know, the age of Aquarius. Damn
87
00:06:49,890 --> 00:06:54,430
it, this is serious. I mean, just
imagine if you could be transported into
88
00:06:54,430 --> 00:06:57,270
past or into the future. I mean, that's
just incredible.
89
00:06:58,410 --> 00:06:59,410
Wait, wait, there's more.
90
00:06:59,570 --> 00:07:03,750
Okay, you'll find the time machine
hidden under a drop cloth here in the
91
00:07:05,510 --> 00:07:10,690
Okay, here are the instructions. Use
this machine wisely or face dire
92
00:07:10,690 --> 00:07:13,990
consequences. Ooh, dire consequences.
93
00:07:25,050 --> 00:07:26,050
Ha ha!
94
00:07:28,330 --> 00:07:29,370
Is this proof enough?
95
00:07:30,090 --> 00:07:31,090
This?
96
00:07:31,270 --> 00:07:32,370
This is your proof?
97
00:07:32,670 --> 00:07:35,950
This only proves you had a crackpot
inventor for a grandfather.
98
00:07:36,390 --> 00:07:37,390
So can we go now?
99
00:07:37,750 --> 00:07:41,110
Oh, fine. If you're going to be like
that, then I just won't tell you what
100
00:07:41,110 --> 00:07:42,110
rest of the letter says.
101
00:07:42,430 --> 00:07:44,170
Oh, don't tell me.
102
00:07:44,490 --> 00:07:47,150
Your grandfather was also the man on the
grassy knoll.
103
00:07:47,770 --> 00:07:49,210
That's not funny, okay?
104
00:07:50,090 --> 00:07:51,090
P .F.
105
00:07:52,070 --> 00:07:55,630
Son, please find a bank statement book
with your name on it.
106
00:08:01,770 --> 00:08:07,050
Back in the 1890s, I picked up a few
bags of gold nuggets in Alaska.
107
00:08:07,630 --> 00:08:09,830
And next thing you know, old Jeb's a
millionaire.
108
00:08:11,170 --> 00:08:16,850
But with today's market, the balance
should exceed one million dollars.
109
00:08:18,350 --> 00:08:19,450
Spend it wisely.
110
00:08:19,730 --> 00:08:22,790
Your loving grandfather, Jebediah
Jackson.
111
00:08:23,230 --> 00:08:25,770
One million dollars?
112
00:08:27,980 --> 00:08:32,120
I knew I had a good feeling about all
this. And that grandfather of yours, did
113
00:08:32,120 --> 00:08:33,200
not say genius?
114
00:08:33,480 --> 00:08:34,860
Now give me that bank book. Let me see.
115
00:08:36,440 --> 00:08:38,140
One million clams. Yes!
116
00:08:38,640 --> 00:08:39,640
Now let's celebrate.
117
00:08:40,360 --> 00:08:43,640
There's something about money that makes
me feel so horny. Yeah.
118
00:08:44,039 --> 00:08:45,560
I can't figure it out.
119
00:11:39,720 --> 00:11:40,720
Oh.
120
00:11:47,860 --> 00:11:48,860
Oh, yeah.
121
00:12:30,500 --> 00:12:33,300
oh oh
122
00:13:22,110 --> 00:13:23,110
Well,
123
00:13:24,070 --> 00:13:25,250
that was good.
124
00:13:25,650 --> 00:13:28,550
Was it worth about $500 ,000?
125
00:13:29,450 --> 00:13:30,810
$500 ,000?
126
00:13:31,510 --> 00:13:33,550
Yeah. That's all?
127
00:13:33,850 --> 00:13:40,810
Well, I mean, it was good. It was more
than good. But let's be serious.
128
00:13:41,710 --> 00:13:42,710
Or a blowjob?
129
00:13:43,050 --> 00:13:46,630
No, no, no. If you're going to want the
whole million, then I think we're going
130
00:13:46,630 --> 00:13:48,270
to have to get a little bit more
creative than that.
131
00:13:48,570 --> 00:13:49,570
Start again.
132
00:14:26,920 --> 00:14:27,920
Okay, okay, okay.
133
00:14:28,400 --> 00:14:29,400
Oh, man, we're screwed!
134
00:14:29,760 --> 00:14:30,760
I lost it!
135
00:14:30,940 --> 00:14:31,940
Engine!
136
00:14:36,180 --> 00:14:38,880
Oh, this has got to stop!
137
00:14:39,120 --> 00:14:40,099
Give me that stick!
138
00:14:40,100 --> 00:14:41,100
No, don't touch it!
139
00:14:43,620 --> 00:14:44,620
Randy,
140
00:14:45,940 --> 00:14:47,820
you big dope, where the hell are we?
141
00:14:48,460 --> 00:14:49,460
Oh, man.
142
00:14:49,780 --> 00:14:51,560
Hey, look, down the hill, there's a
town.
143
00:14:59,180 --> 00:15:02,340
What year is it? Well, according to the
annual magnetron, it's 1882.
144
00:15:03,180 --> 00:15:04,340
Great, 1882.
145
00:15:05,120 --> 00:15:08,420
Well, Wizkid, now that you've lost the
instructions, how are we going to get
146
00:15:08,420 --> 00:15:08,939
of here?
147
00:15:08,940 --> 00:15:12,860
Well, that's easy. All you have to do is
adjust the magnetron, coexist with the
148
00:15:12,860 --> 00:15:16,780
capillary, balancing out the
dilapidators, and sliding up the
149
00:15:17,020 --> 00:15:18,900
I mean, any moan could figure it out.
150
00:15:19,100 --> 00:15:20,520
Well, then, you ought to know.
151
00:15:20,960 --> 00:15:22,420
Well, thanks for the load of confidence.
152
00:15:23,100 --> 00:15:24,780
Hey, what does that sign say?
153
00:15:25,360 --> 00:15:27,400
Um, Cripple Creek.
154
00:15:28,700 --> 00:15:29,700
Cripple Creek.
155
00:15:29,980 --> 00:15:32,820
Hey, Cripple Creek, 1882.
156
00:15:33,460 --> 00:15:36,280
Hey, that's the same year that my
grandfather was telling me that the old
157
00:15:36,280 --> 00:15:37,199
general's in.
158
00:15:37,200 --> 00:15:40,500
Or that my grandfather's in. Or vice
versa.
159
00:15:40,880 --> 00:15:41,880
Anyway, listen.
160
00:15:41,960 --> 00:15:45,260
Listen, if we can find my grandfather,
then maybe he can help me figure out how
161
00:15:45,260 --> 00:15:46,560
to run this contraption.
162
00:15:46,780 --> 00:15:48,180
Come on, let's go down to town.
163
00:16:00,170 --> 00:16:02,070
Did you get the license plate of that
guy?
164
00:16:02,330 --> 00:16:03,390
Come on, tough guy.
165
00:16:11,970 --> 00:16:12,530
It's a
166
00:16:12,530 --> 00:16:19,990
graveyard.
167
00:16:20,750 --> 00:16:23,910
Oh, this is good. This welcomes
everyone.
168
00:16:25,290 --> 00:16:26,490
Big cross there.
169
00:16:26,990 --> 00:16:27,990
Check this out.
170
00:16:30,270 --> 00:16:32,290
Yeah. Wonder why they call it Triple
Street.
171
00:16:33,030 --> 00:16:34,310
Huh? Friendly town.
172
00:16:35,590 --> 00:16:37,090
It has a lot of love in that name.
173
00:16:43,190 --> 00:16:44,190
Okay.
174
00:16:45,430 --> 00:16:49,090
Um, see what? I'm going to go into this
trading post and get me some western
175
00:16:49,090 --> 00:16:51,230
duds so I can blend in with the locals.
176
00:16:51,850 --> 00:16:55,510
Why don't you, uh, why don't you go over
to the hotel over there and get us a
177
00:16:55,510 --> 00:16:58,520
room? I'll come back to you when it's
safe for the womenfolk.
178
00:16:59,700 --> 00:17:03,660
Fine. See if you don't get yourself
broke next time, Prince Louis, bud.
179
00:17:50,990 --> 00:17:52,310
Howdy, stranger. What can I do for you?
180
00:17:52,710 --> 00:17:53,870
Ah, Barton.
181
00:17:54,270 --> 00:17:58,650
Give me, uh, four fingers worth of red
eye.
182
00:17:59,050 --> 00:18:00,050
Wait a minute.
183
00:18:00,550 --> 00:18:03,170
You know, I might be killing someone
today.
184
00:18:04,250 --> 00:18:05,890
Then you better go all the way.
185
00:18:32,650 --> 00:18:33,650
A little information.
186
00:18:33,990 --> 00:18:37,770
Holds around here, don't pat it up.
Rangers coming around asking questions.
187
00:18:38,890 --> 00:18:40,910
If you look harmless, go shoot.
188
00:18:42,930 --> 00:18:44,670
Sir. What's the matter?
189
00:18:45,650 --> 00:18:48,630
You see, I'm looking for a man.
190
00:18:49,390 --> 00:18:50,630
What a coincidence.
191
00:18:51,250 --> 00:18:52,270
Well, I'm not.
192
00:18:53,190 --> 00:18:56,690
I don't really doubt that you can come
to me.
193
00:18:57,350 --> 00:18:58,350
Whoa.
194
00:18:58,710 --> 00:18:59,950
What a lulu.
195
00:19:00,730 --> 00:19:01,730
You win.
196
00:19:02,320 --> 00:19:03,320
How much would you win?
197
00:19:03,900 --> 00:19:04,900
First kiss.
198
00:19:13,620 --> 00:19:16,720
It's harder to handle than a handful of
bumblebees.
199
00:19:18,100 --> 00:19:21,180
It's all right. I'll just shoot them in
the back as you walk by.
200
00:19:21,700 --> 00:19:24,140
No, you can't do that. You're the
deputy.
201
00:19:24,440 --> 00:19:26,120
I want this to be a fair fight.
202
00:19:27,360 --> 00:19:28,760
I'll shoot them in the back.
203
00:19:39,280 --> 00:19:40,320
I know it's Horace Greeley, man.
204
00:19:43,240 --> 00:19:44,540
That's enough, tenderfoot.
205
00:19:44,920 --> 00:19:47,820
Hey, you walk around in these boots all
day, and you're that tenderfoot, too.
206
00:19:48,420 --> 00:19:54,860
I got news for you.
207
00:19:55,540 --> 00:19:56,700
I wasn't fooling.
208
00:19:57,580 --> 00:19:58,580
Yeah.
209
00:20:01,080 --> 00:20:02,260
I didn't care nobody.
210
00:20:03,200 --> 00:20:04,200
Listen, partner.
211
00:20:05,060 --> 00:20:07,760
This town ain't big enough for the truth
of life.
212
00:20:08,460 --> 00:20:12,800
Come on, we need to get out of town by
Sunday.
213
00:20:13,240 --> 00:20:14,800
That is the correct time, right?
214
00:20:16,340 --> 00:20:17,340
Well,
215
00:20:17,680 --> 00:20:20,580
Sunday, the 15th.
216
00:20:22,740 --> 00:20:23,740
I'll be waiting.
217
00:20:24,040 --> 00:20:25,040
Oh, you do that?
218
00:20:25,180 --> 00:20:26,420
Oh, you do that?
219
00:20:27,180 --> 00:20:30,240
Side -winding, bush -wetting, polecat.
220
00:20:34,480 --> 00:20:35,620
That polecat?
221
00:20:37,550 --> 00:20:40,790
These deputies really caught on.
222
00:20:44,110 --> 00:20:49,690
And that's his brother, Sheriff Chester,
caught on.
223
00:20:51,170 --> 00:20:52,530
There's a two -bed shop.
224
00:20:52,970 --> 00:20:56,230
There might have been a man taking it.
225
00:20:57,320 --> 00:20:58,320
See, you don't understand.
226
00:20:58,420 --> 00:21:00,680
I'm not exactly going to be in a
gunfight with those two.
227
00:21:00,920 --> 00:21:04,960
No, no, no. See, I'm a very low
threshold for death, okay? And my doctor
228
00:21:04,960 --> 00:21:07,980
specifically told me, do not have any
bullet enter this body.
229
00:21:13,800 --> 00:21:14,800
Why, Lulu?
230
00:21:15,740 --> 00:21:18,200
I didn't even recognize you standing up.
231
00:21:19,640 --> 00:21:24,540
Speaking of lying horizontal, I don't
think our stranger here wants to get in
232
00:21:24,540 --> 00:21:25,660
gunfight with me.
233
00:21:27,780 --> 00:21:30,520
Well, the hornet plumbed out of me.
234
00:21:30,760 --> 00:21:36,620
But I can understand you coming on over
here and trying to convince me not to
235
00:21:36,620 --> 00:21:39,500
kill him. I mean, you love your brother
and such, right?
236
00:21:41,240 --> 00:21:43,780
Nope. But I'm used to him.
237
00:21:46,040 --> 00:21:48,080
Where have I seen your face before?
238
00:21:51,900 --> 00:21:52,920
Right here now.
239
00:21:56,840 --> 00:21:58,340
Take those whiskers away.
240
00:21:59,600 --> 00:22:03,540
Say, you're a spitting image of General
Jeff Jackson.
241
00:22:04,780 --> 00:22:06,360
Ah, yeah, he's my grandpa.
242
00:22:06,560 --> 00:22:10,820
Um, he's my pep. Yeah, I'm looking for
him.
243
00:22:11,360 --> 00:22:12,560
Know where I can find him?
244
00:22:13,140 --> 00:22:14,140
Maybe.
245
00:22:15,180 --> 00:22:17,300
He rode out of here about two weeks ago.
246
00:22:18,220 --> 00:22:22,920
He's on the trail of that renegade
Cheyenne cheat sitting move.
247
00:22:23,520 --> 00:22:26,100
Going up to the school ball pass, from
what I understand.
248
00:22:27,460 --> 00:22:28,460
Well,
249
00:22:28,900 --> 00:22:30,720
thanks for the info, Sheriff.
250
00:22:31,100 --> 00:22:33,660
You know, when it's not as cool as it
is.
251
00:22:36,180 --> 00:22:40,060
Hope you find him, stranger.
252
00:22:40,440 --> 00:22:42,700
He's a fine fella and a hell of an
Indian fighter.
253
00:22:47,060 --> 00:22:49,780
Randall! What's this I hear? You're
going to be in a gunfight.
254
00:22:50,040 --> 00:22:51,740
Shh! No, no, not me, sister. No.
255
00:22:51,940 --> 00:22:55,010
Listen. I got some good news, though. I
think I found out where my grandfather
256
00:22:55,010 --> 00:22:57,630
is. I'm going to go ahead and try to
find him and meet him. Why don't you go
257
00:22:57,630 --> 00:22:59,510
ahead and meet me by the time machine
first thing in the morning?
258
00:22:59,990 --> 00:23:01,490
Well, that's just typical of you.
259
00:23:01,850 --> 00:23:04,890
Always running away from confrontations.
I do not.
260
00:23:05,130 --> 00:23:06,810
Then I don't have to stand here and take
this.
261
00:23:08,330 --> 00:23:12,310
Come on. This is the old west. I want to
see a real gunfight. Where's your
262
00:23:12,310 --> 00:23:14,250
chivalry? I traded in for a Buick.
263
00:23:14,670 --> 00:23:15,369
Hey, you.
264
00:23:15,370 --> 00:23:16,370
Listen,
265
00:23:17,390 --> 00:23:20,090
I got to go. I got about as much future
here as a snowman.
266
00:23:39,229 --> 00:23:46,070
He didn't look like him. I sure wouldn't
have known
267
00:23:46,070 --> 00:23:47,690
that he didn't want a Jeb Jackson kid.
268
00:23:47,970 --> 00:23:48,970
And that's what he said.
269
00:23:49,410 --> 00:23:52,750
He said he'd walk on a general Jeb
Jackson kid, that's for sure.
270
00:23:54,070 --> 00:23:56,390
Uh, what would you two cowboys know back
then?
271
00:23:57,510 --> 00:24:01,310
Well, I sure do know that when you were
a kid, you didn't have a dog to play
272
00:24:01,310 --> 00:24:06,620
with. You had a rat, and you still got
one, right up in your tail.
273
00:24:07,400 --> 00:24:08,319
Oh, yeah?
274
00:24:08,320 --> 00:24:11,480
Well, how would you two like to play
with a rattler?
275
00:24:12,740 --> 00:24:13,740
Got the nerve?
276
00:27:00,040 --> 00:27:01,040
Oh!
277
00:28:25,340 --> 00:28:28,140
um um
278
00:28:57,570 --> 00:28:58,970
Ah.
279
00:29:25,360 --> 00:29:27,220
um um
280
00:30:01,360 --> 00:30:02,380
I'm sorry.
281
00:30:31,370 --> 00:30:32,370
I'm sorry.
282
00:31:20,810 --> 00:31:21,810
Ah!
283
00:34:44,880 --> 00:34:47,159
I had to tell noisy neighbors, oh, you
take fame.
284
00:34:47,800 --> 00:34:50,880
What that mean?
285
00:34:52,100 --> 00:34:54,120
Don't come knocking if you're walking.
286
00:36:31,819 --> 00:36:34,620
Oh. Oh.
287
00:36:36,380 --> 00:36:39,200
Oh. Oh.
288
00:37:10,220 --> 00:37:11,220
Oh.
289
00:38:35,180 --> 00:38:36,180
Oh.
290
00:46:56,110 --> 00:46:58,250
chief that just left, or some man with a
chicken for a hat.
291
00:46:59,290 --> 00:47:00,590
My name Little Quailtail.
292
00:47:01,450 --> 00:47:03,190
Oh, Little Quailtail.
293
00:47:04,030 --> 00:47:06,190
Or is it Quail? Or can I just call you
Tail?
294
00:47:06,790 --> 00:47:07,790
Well, enough of that.
295
00:47:07,810 --> 00:47:11,110
Listen, I was wondering if you could
help. I'm looking for a frontiersman by
296
00:47:11,110 --> 00:47:12,110
name of Jeb Jackson.
297
00:47:12,490 --> 00:47:13,408
I'm his grandson.
298
00:47:13,410 --> 00:47:14,630
I was wondering if you could help me
find him.
299
00:47:16,770 --> 00:47:18,710
Little Quail will tell you and trade for
Kiss.
300
00:47:20,330 --> 00:47:22,010
Okay, but you're going to lose out on
this deal.
301
00:47:37,930 --> 00:47:38,930
Got my squaw.
302
00:47:39,630 --> 00:47:40,850
Sitting moose, angry.
303
00:47:41,550 --> 00:47:43,070
Do not like what white man does.
304
00:47:43,670 --> 00:47:47,470
Hey, if you don't like the way we do
things in this country, why don't you go
305
00:47:47,470 --> 00:47:48,490
back to where you came from?
306
00:47:48,850 --> 00:47:49,950
Sitting moose scalp you.
307
00:47:50,450 --> 00:47:51,450
Hey,
308
00:47:51,650 --> 00:47:53,290
I didn't come here for a scalp
treatment.
309
00:47:54,690 --> 00:47:57,370
White man talk too much. Make chief heap
mad.
310
00:47:58,450 --> 00:48:01,750
No, no, no, no, no. White man, red man's
friend.
311
00:48:02,610 --> 00:48:07,170
No, white man wants to be red brother's
friend and red sister too.
312
00:48:07,800 --> 00:48:09,760
Say what? Why don't you get a canoe, and
I'll paddle you later.
313
00:48:10,860 --> 00:48:12,280
White man speak with fourth tongue.
314
00:48:12,860 --> 00:48:14,000
What is that supposed to mean?
315
00:48:15,060 --> 00:48:16,060
Old Indian saying.
316
00:48:16,300 --> 00:48:17,680
All old Indians say it.
317
00:48:17,920 --> 00:48:20,780
Why, are you insinuating that the white
man isn't the red man's friend?
318
00:48:21,380 --> 00:48:24,740
Why, who was it who swindled you out of
Manhattan Island for 24 bucks?
319
00:48:26,600 --> 00:48:27,600
White man.
320
00:48:27,620 --> 00:48:32,100
Yeah. And who was it who turned you into
wood and stuck you in front of a cigar
321
00:48:32,100 --> 00:48:33,100
store?
322
00:48:35,060 --> 00:48:36,060
White man.
323
00:48:36,300 --> 00:48:39,080
And who was it who put your head on a
nickel and took the nickel away?
324
00:48:40,460 --> 00:48:41,460
Slot machine.
325
00:48:41,800 --> 00:48:46,080
Oh. White man, it's son of heap, big,
pale -faced warrior Jackson.
326
00:48:46,840 --> 00:48:49,920
Yeah. Pale -faced Jackson killed 50 best
warriors.
327
00:48:50,900 --> 00:48:54,600
I think we take white man's legs, time
to horses, and make a wish.
328
00:48:55,140 --> 00:48:58,980
Hey, sounds like you want to part my
hair all the way to my balls.
329
00:48:59,680 --> 00:49:01,540
I don't think so, Geronimo.
330
00:49:01,780 --> 00:49:02,780
Hey.
331
00:49:03,140 --> 00:49:04,520
Hey, oh, no.
332
00:49:05,100 --> 00:49:06,640
I'm not going to get a hatchet job.
333
00:49:13,180 --> 00:49:15,180
Good throw, Chief. That's the old
pepper.
334
00:49:16,180 --> 00:49:17,180
Randall.
335
00:49:17,700 --> 00:49:18,700
Randall.
336
00:49:20,900 --> 00:49:23,660
He stuck his finger in my bum.
337
00:49:23,960 --> 00:49:25,500
He stuck his finger in your what?
338
00:49:26,020 --> 00:49:29,100
Hey, you must have been eating with the
village people.
339
00:49:29,920 --> 00:49:31,420
Randall. Randall, you okay?
340
00:49:33,080 --> 00:49:34,660
Hey, there's three of you.
341
00:49:34,960 --> 00:49:36,160
Yeah, I'm the one in the middle.
342
00:49:36,520 --> 00:49:39,660
Well, grab your two friends and let's
get out of here.
343
00:49:50,040 --> 00:49:51,220
Well, what now, genius?
344
00:49:51,600 --> 00:49:55,900
Okay, I got this thing all figured out,
babe. Okay. The reason why we can't find
345
00:49:55,900 --> 00:50:01,220
my grandfather is because, basically,
you cannot duplicate the same time
346
00:50:01,220 --> 00:50:02,220
continuum.
347
00:50:03,910 --> 00:50:04,788
Brilliant, Einstein.
348
00:50:04,790 --> 00:50:08,010
What the hell does that mean? What that
means is that the time machine cannot be
349
00:50:08,010 --> 00:50:10,170
in the same place at the same time
twice.
350
00:50:11,030 --> 00:50:12,490
Oh, well, that clears it up.
351
00:50:12,690 --> 00:50:14,350
Don't worry, don't worry. I got it all
figured out.
352
00:50:14,710 --> 00:50:19,610
Okay, all I have to do is just punch in
1996, then hit enter.
353
00:50:19,870 --> 00:50:24,270
And then, after that, all I have to do
is hit the engage switch, and we're
354
00:50:24,310 --> 00:50:25,310
We're out of here.
355
00:50:25,350 --> 00:50:26,350
Let's go.
356
00:50:28,090 --> 00:50:29,710
Okay, get back here. Get back here.
357
00:50:32,350 --> 00:50:33,350
1996?
358
00:50:33,690 --> 00:50:34,690
Get it right.
359
00:50:35,190 --> 00:50:36,190
Engage.
360
00:50:42,510 --> 00:50:45,310
Centurion! Centurion! Yes, hello.
361
00:50:45,510 --> 00:50:47,190
Who is it? Oh, no, fire!
362
00:50:47,990 --> 00:50:52,170
Oh, who would do something like this?
363
00:50:53,810 --> 00:50:54,810
Phew.
364
00:50:55,190 --> 00:50:57,370
It's all over my new sandals.
365
00:51:00,400 --> 00:51:01,960
Apparently we were attacked during the
night, sir.
366
00:51:03,120 --> 00:51:04,120
Attacked by whom?
367
00:51:04,400 --> 00:51:05,400
Vandals, sir.
368
00:51:05,680 --> 00:51:06,680
Vandals, Captain?
369
00:51:06,880 --> 00:51:11,560
Vandals. Barbarian hordes that sacked
and pillaged during the waning years of
370
00:51:11,560 --> 00:51:12,319
the Roman Empire.
371
00:51:12,320 --> 00:51:15,860
A nomadic tribe that expanded eastward
during the Celtic expansion in the late
372
00:51:15,860 --> 00:51:16,860
century A .D.
373
00:51:17,120 --> 00:51:18,220
Enough of this nonsense.
374
00:51:18,720 --> 00:51:19,720
I want a full report.
375
00:51:20,320 --> 00:51:21,320
Very well, sir.
376
00:51:21,440 --> 00:51:25,380
Well, it appears we have several pairs
of badly soiled vandals.
377
00:51:25,800 --> 00:51:28,300
Our tent walls have been spray -painted
with graffiti.
378
00:51:29,320 --> 00:51:33,160
In the worst news of all, sir, your
chariot is on cement blocks and also the
379
00:51:33,160 --> 00:51:34,160
wheels are missing.
380
00:51:35,040 --> 00:51:36,040
Centurion!
381
00:51:36,320 --> 00:51:38,520
Yes, Marcus Flemeth. The whole legion's
been egged, sir.
382
00:51:38,920 --> 00:51:39,920
Egged?
383
00:51:40,920 --> 00:51:43,840
Yes, sir. Apparently the legion was
pelted with rotten eggs.
384
00:51:44,800 --> 00:51:45,800
That's not funny.
385
00:51:46,340 --> 00:51:48,880
Someone's eye could have been put out.
The Vandals think it's funny, sir.
386
00:51:48,940 --> 00:51:50,580
Destroying property and endangering
lives.
387
00:51:51,020 --> 00:51:52,160
I'll show them funny.
388
00:51:52,720 --> 00:51:56,600
Find those Vandals. I want their heads
on poles in front of the camp for the
389
00:51:56,600 --> 00:51:57,600
whole Empire to see.
390
00:52:12,310 --> 00:52:14,410
1996. You imbecile. It's 196.
391
00:52:14,810 --> 00:52:16,550
You forgot to put in the other nine.
392
00:52:17,770 --> 00:52:18,770
I'm sorry.
393
00:52:19,230 --> 00:52:21,490
Somebody's coming. Somebody's coming.
Get out. Get out. Go, go, go.
394
00:52:33,530 --> 00:52:36,810
Look, Captain, those bastard vandals
stole the wheels off this chariot, too.
395
00:52:37,190 --> 00:52:38,190
Yeah, they have.
396
00:52:38,770 --> 00:52:40,490
It's the most unusual chariots, indeed.
397
00:52:41,420 --> 00:52:43,460
We'd better take it back to Centurion
Celsius.
398
00:52:46,400 --> 00:52:48,320
Well, they can't do that.
399
00:52:48,900 --> 00:52:51,180
Well, what are you going to do about it?
It's their country.
400
00:52:51,420 --> 00:52:53,340
Well, we'll contact the American
Embassy.
401
00:52:54,140 --> 00:52:56,240
In case you haven't noticed, it's 196.
402
00:52:57,240 --> 00:52:58,240
They're Romans.
403
00:52:58,400 --> 00:53:00,140
America hasn't even been discovered yet.
404
00:53:00,540 --> 00:53:02,540
Well, then you think of something,
smartass.
405
00:53:03,920 --> 00:53:05,000
Okay, I got it.
406
00:53:05,440 --> 00:53:06,740
We'll go down to the Roman camp.
407
00:53:06,940 --> 00:53:10,100
I mean, if you want to catch the big
game, you've got to go down where the
408
00:53:10,100 --> 00:53:11,100
watering hole is.
409
00:53:11,600 --> 00:53:12,600
Come on.
410
00:53:20,440 --> 00:53:21,440
Okay.
411
00:53:21,620 --> 00:53:22,399
Stay here.
412
00:53:22,400 --> 00:53:23,400
I got an idea.
413
00:53:56,279 --> 00:53:57,520
Okay, put these on.
414
00:53:59,260 --> 00:54:00,880
I'm going to go do as the Romans do.
415
00:54:12,000 --> 00:54:13,460
Centurion! There.
416
00:54:14,900 --> 00:54:19,280
Centurion. What infidel is the nerve to
disturb Centurion, Max and Celsius?
417
00:54:20,220 --> 00:54:21,220
Hiya, Max.
418
00:54:21,460 --> 00:54:23,900
Listen, I hear that you're having a
little bit of a problem steeping the old
419
00:54:23,900 --> 00:54:25,180
wheels on the chariot. Well...
420
00:54:25,420 --> 00:54:26,420
I got a deal for you.
421
00:54:26,640 --> 00:54:30,540
You see, I happen to have this beaut of
a chariot, yep. Used to be owned by a
422
00:54:30,540 --> 00:54:33,700
little old lady. Used to only drive it
once a week. That's down to Temple over
423
00:54:33,700 --> 00:54:34,459
at Babylon.
424
00:54:34,460 --> 00:54:38,220
Now, for a fine -looking chariot like
that, normally you'd go for something
425
00:54:38,220 --> 00:54:41,000
400 shekels over at Madman Ramsey's lot.
426
00:54:41,260 --> 00:54:45,460
But, no, no, no. With me, I can let you
have it for no money down. And, of
427
00:54:45,460 --> 00:54:48,340
course, you'd have to trade in that
funny -looking chariot over there with
428
00:54:48,340 --> 00:54:50,360
wheels on it. You do that, and we got a
deal.
429
00:54:51,700 --> 00:54:52,980
Here's the chariot salesman, eh?
430
00:54:53,890 --> 00:54:58,410
I despise used chariot salesmen. My
first wife ran off with a used chariot
431
00:54:58,410 --> 00:54:59,750
salesman. Guards!
432
00:55:02,730 --> 00:55:05,710
Captain Quintus Interruptus and
Lieutenant Marcus Plymouth reporting,
433
00:55:05,970 --> 00:55:06,970
Arrested, Stan Fleet.
434
00:55:12,530 --> 00:55:13,530
Hey!
435
00:55:14,590 --> 00:55:16,590
You know, I'm going to get myself a
cheap lawyer.
436
00:55:16,910 --> 00:55:20,350
What would you like us to do with him,
sir? The punishment shall befit his low
437
00:55:20,350 --> 00:55:21,350
stature.
438
00:55:21,839 --> 00:55:24,080
First, we'll have wild horses drag him
around the arena.
439
00:55:25,120 --> 00:55:26,660
Then we will feed him to the lions.
440
00:55:27,300 --> 00:55:28,300
And what's left?
441
00:55:28,600 --> 00:55:29,680
Feed to the crocodiles.
442
00:55:30,640 --> 00:55:31,640
Yeah, right.
443
00:55:31,680 --> 00:55:32,680
You and what army?
444
00:55:34,960 --> 00:55:38,260
Oh, Queen Nefertiti.
445
00:55:38,740 --> 00:55:39,740
Queen of the Nile.
446
00:55:41,120 --> 00:55:43,160
Widow of Pharaoh Rutentutin.
447
00:55:43,460 --> 00:55:44,920
Dado of Pharaoh couldn't take it.
448
00:55:45,680 --> 00:55:47,480
What a pleasant surprise, my queen.
449
00:55:48,740 --> 00:55:49,940
Do you know the son of a goat?
450
00:55:51,259 --> 00:55:53,140
Unfortunate as it seems, he's my
servant.
451
00:55:53,760 --> 00:55:54,760
Achilles.
452
00:55:54,860 --> 00:55:55,860
The heel.
453
00:55:56,300 --> 00:55:59,220
Talk to him. Talk to him. Tell him that
I'm harmless and stuff like that. Tell
454
00:55:59,220 --> 00:56:02,140
him that I want to go back. Go back to
Egypt. You know, where it's nice and
455
00:56:02,140 --> 00:56:06,460
safe. You know, and I want to be back
with the pyramids that stand so pointy
456
00:56:06,460 --> 00:56:09,600
erect like a young, supple breast of a
sorority pledge.
457
00:56:10,940 --> 00:56:13,220
Is it your wish that I spare this dog?
458
00:56:13,740 --> 00:56:15,640
Uh, can I get back to you on that? Uh
-huh.
459
00:56:16,000 --> 00:56:17,000
Uh, nah.
460
00:56:17,160 --> 00:56:19,960
I just... Um, just have him...
461
00:56:20,280 --> 00:56:21,980
Wash your chariot till I'm ready to go.
462
00:56:25,160 --> 00:56:26,320
Thanks. Thanks a lot.
463
00:56:27,860 --> 00:56:30,240
Come, Your Highness. Would you like to
partake in food and wine?
464
00:56:30,520 --> 00:56:34,180
Hmm, sounds good to me. I haven't eaten
in 2 ,000 years.
465
00:56:35,640 --> 00:56:37,160
Hey, easy, guys, easy.
466
00:56:38,820 --> 00:56:39,820
Okay, okay.
467
00:56:40,480 --> 00:56:44,520
You know, we got tigers in my time, too.
At least they can spell.
468
00:56:45,360 --> 00:56:47,080
Okay, I'm cleaning, I'm cleaning.
469
00:56:47,980 --> 00:56:48,980
Nice stuff.
470
00:57:06,800 --> 00:57:11,940
Hey, what the... A thousand pardons,
Centurion. I was mesmerized by your
471
00:57:11,940 --> 00:57:12,940
fruit.
472
00:57:13,220 --> 00:57:14,900
And I'm bewitched by your beauty.
473
00:57:16,340 --> 00:57:18,280
Enchanted. And I'm mortified.
474
00:57:18,500 --> 00:57:19,500
Kiss me, Max.
475
01:07:42,250 --> 01:07:43,510
Enough for titties. Time to go.
476
01:07:44,770 --> 01:07:47,190
Time is money. About a million bucks
worth.
477
01:07:48,210 --> 01:07:49,370
Well, I guess it's true.
478
01:07:49,750 --> 01:07:51,030
Time wounds all heals.
479
01:07:51,890 --> 01:07:54,050
See you, Max. I've got a flight to
catch.
480
01:07:55,090 --> 01:07:56,090
What?
481
01:07:56,390 --> 01:07:57,390
Let's go!
482
01:08:00,270 --> 01:08:01,530
Come on, come on, come on, come on, come
on.
483
01:08:02,110 --> 01:08:03,110
Okay.
484
01:08:03,710 --> 01:08:07,070
And we enter 1996 again.
485
01:08:07,710 --> 01:08:10,170
Okay, Nimrod. Make this thing go off
like a Roman candle.
486
01:08:17,069 --> 01:08:19,670
In the name of Goose, what manner of
deviltry is this?
487
01:08:22,569 --> 01:08:26,189
So tell me, did your centurion go off
like a Roman candle, too?
488
01:08:26,470 --> 01:08:28,210
Don't start with me, shithead.
489
01:08:28,609 --> 01:08:32,170
I did what I had to to keep you from
becoming the main course for a
490
01:08:33,310 --> 01:08:34,630
Yeah, that's a crock, all right.
491
01:08:36,810 --> 01:08:38,069
Watch it. What are you, fucking goofy?
492
01:08:38,750 --> 01:08:40,029
No, I know as well, Boo.
493
01:08:56,970 --> 01:09:00,810
in danger of everything from being hit
by a meteor falling into a black hole in
494
01:09:00,810 --> 01:09:01,728
space.
495
01:09:01,729 --> 01:09:03,270
Oh, man, return, return.
496
01:09:03,850 --> 01:09:05,649
Oh, this is just... Nina?
497
01:09:06,149 --> 01:09:07,149
Nina, where'd you go?
498
01:09:07,810 --> 01:09:09,210
Oh, this is great.
499
01:09:13,870 --> 01:09:15,010
What the hell?
500
01:09:15,729 --> 01:09:17,890
Step into the light, Earth creature.
501
01:09:18,750 --> 01:09:20,890
Oh, yeah, well, fuck you. I don't think
so.
502
01:09:24,590 --> 01:09:26,250
I gotta stop this thing and find Nina.
503
01:09:34,920 --> 01:09:36,300
Now where the hell am I?
504
01:09:37,880 --> 01:09:39,380
Well, the year is 2525.
505
01:09:40,580 --> 01:09:41,580
Oh, great.
506
01:09:41,899 --> 01:09:43,420
I wonder if man is still alive.
507
01:09:44,580 --> 01:09:48,120
Well, if I'm going to save woman, I
guess I'm going to have to find her.
508
01:09:51,040 --> 01:09:52,439
Stop, you human rat!
509
01:09:54,340 --> 01:09:58,680
Get your stinking paws off me, you damn
filthy ape!
510
01:10:00,360 --> 01:10:01,420
I've always wanted to say that.
511
01:10:01,800 --> 01:10:03,480
Anytime, anywhere, go, go, go!
512
01:10:16,230 --> 01:10:18,250
Missed him by that much.
513
01:10:19,510 --> 01:10:20,750
What's the title of the story?
514
01:10:21,110 --> 01:10:24,530
Boy Finds Gorilla, Boy Loses Gorilla.
Where the hell am I going?
515
01:10:26,350 --> 01:10:29,290
According to this, I traveled backwards
in time again.
516
01:10:30,530 --> 01:10:31,530
But how far?
517
01:10:33,730 --> 01:10:38,250
Okay, okay. Well, this looks just as
good as a spot of energy land. Go ahead
518
01:10:38,250 --> 01:10:39,250
get my bear.
519
01:10:55,660 --> 01:10:58,700
Holy dinosaur shit! I planted a bedrock!
520
01:11:17,060 --> 01:11:21,540
Excellent and anatomically correct human
female flesh pod.
521
01:11:29,740 --> 01:11:34,480
Of course not. The light you were
involuntarily consumed by was a
522
01:11:34,480 --> 01:11:38,220
beam. But fear not. The effect is merely
temporary.
523
01:11:39,180 --> 01:11:42,180
Great. Well, who the hell are you? Where
the hell am I?
524
01:11:42,500 --> 01:11:47,980
On behalf of His Majesty's Space Navy, I
am Admiral Ordork. You are a space
525
01:11:47,980 --> 01:11:50,280
cruiser somewhere in the Ford Galaxy.
526
01:11:51,060 --> 01:11:53,780
Destination is our home planet, Zeeborb.
527
01:11:54,000 --> 01:11:56,460
A planet your kind calls Pluto.
528
01:11:58,220 --> 01:11:59,220
Pluto?
529
01:11:59,580 --> 01:12:01,040
That tiny planet?
530
01:12:01,440 --> 01:12:05,480
It's not the size of your planet that
counts. It's how you use it.
531
01:12:06,600 --> 01:12:08,040
What the hell are you doing?
532
01:12:08,420 --> 01:12:09,780
Are you going to rape me?
533
01:12:10,940 --> 01:12:15,720
Sadly, I do not possess the proper
sexual organs necessary to have
534
01:12:15,720 --> 01:12:16,860
with Earth creatures.
535
01:12:17,240 --> 01:12:20,120
When this was revealed, imagine my
disappointment.
536
01:12:21,600 --> 01:12:22,600
Oh, yeah.
537
01:12:23,300 --> 01:12:24,860
I know how you felt.
538
01:12:25,260 --> 01:12:28,940
It's like the time I found out that
Kermit the Frog was nothing but a big
539
01:12:28,940 --> 01:12:30,800
of felt with somebody's hand up his
butt.
540
01:12:32,180 --> 01:12:33,620
Do you have to do that?
541
01:12:33,980 --> 01:12:38,380
It is merely a rectal probe. I am an
alien. It is what we do.
542
01:12:40,740 --> 01:12:43,620
Excellent. You will be sufficient for my
experiment.
543
01:12:44,060 --> 01:12:49,740
Experiment? My theory is female humans
are essentially party organisms and will
544
01:12:49,740 --> 01:12:54,580
have intercourse with the same sex of
their or similar species at will.
545
01:12:55,100 --> 01:12:56,300
I shall observe.
546
01:12:57,060 --> 01:13:00,640
And what makes you think I'm going to
cooperate with this peep show?
547
01:13:01,460 --> 01:13:02,940
You see this device?
548
01:13:03,600 --> 01:13:05,480
What, that stupid lava lamp?
549
01:13:05,960 --> 01:13:12,060
Insulate human, this is not merely a
lamp, but the Uranium Q36 space
550
01:13:12,500 --> 01:13:16,680
It has the explosive power to destroy
the entire planet Earth.
551
01:13:17,220 --> 01:13:21,400
Cooperate with us or it will be hurtling
toward Earth at the speed of warp
552
01:13:21,400 --> 01:13:22,720
vector six.
553
01:13:23,560 --> 01:13:26,380
Okay, dork. Give it your best shot.
554
01:13:26,740 --> 01:13:28,960
Wise choice, earth creature.
555
01:13:43,080 --> 01:13:45,020
Sure, I'll go home with you.
556
01:13:45,840 --> 01:13:49,620
Hey, what the... Oh, dork. Is that you?
557
01:13:50,770 --> 01:13:53,150
Galaxina, I have a job for you.
558
01:13:53,470 --> 01:13:54,890
You big static clan.
559
01:13:55,310 --> 01:14:00,330
I just had a line on an executive from
Spacely Sprockets, okay? And this guy
560
01:14:00,330 --> 01:14:04,030
going to put me up in a luxury penthouse
on the tropical moon of Mipsela.
561
01:14:04,970 --> 01:14:10,030
Galaxina, you owe me. Who paid for your
flesh orbs and asteroid augmentations?
562
01:14:10,570 --> 01:14:14,750
Okay, but let's make it quick so I can
get back to Uranus Lounge and my future
563
01:14:14,750 --> 01:14:15,750
man, okay?
564
01:14:28,430 --> 01:14:29,430
Does it check the victim?
565
01:14:30,530 --> 01:14:31,530
Precisely.
566
01:14:42,230 --> 01:14:43,230
Proceed, females.
567
01:14:43,370 --> 01:14:44,390
Clean each other.
568
01:14:44,890 --> 01:14:47,070
Proceed. Well, do it, Chester.
569
01:14:48,290 --> 01:14:49,290
Barbarella.
570
01:14:49,650 --> 01:14:51,390
You sure are cute.
571
01:14:51,650 --> 01:14:52,890
I'm going to enjoy this.
572
01:14:53,370 --> 01:14:55,830
Yeah, I think you will. I think I will,
too.
573
01:18:01,450 --> 01:18:02,450
Yeah.
574
01:23:37,230 --> 01:23:39,490
Yeah, if you're ever on my planet, make
sure you drop by.
575
01:23:40,350 --> 01:23:41,350
Will do.
576
01:23:53,030 --> 01:23:56,670
Whoa, those dinosaurs scared the
bejeebers out of me.
577
01:23:57,910 --> 01:23:59,850
Look, Lena, Hunk, a man.
578
01:24:00,310 --> 01:24:01,188
Hiya, girl.
579
01:24:01,190 --> 01:24:02,210
Why don't you just call me Hunk?
580
01:24:06,380 --> 01:24:07,380
You look like you like Nuki.
581
01:24:07,460 --> 01:24:08,960
No, me wina.
582
01:24:09,360 --> 01:24:10,480
This is Nuki.
583
01:24:10,780 --> 01:24:14,920
Yeah, well, I think I got it right the
first time. Uh, say, uh, you know your
584
01:24:14,920 --> 01:24:18,180
friend? She kind of looked like the
governor kind of pardoned her 30 seconds
585
01:24:18,180 --> 01:24:19,180
after they flipped the switch.
586
01:24:19,480 --> 01:24:20,800
Yeah, it's bird's nest heritage.
587
01:24:21,040 --> 01:24:21,858
It's out.
588
01:24:21,860 --> 01:24:23,500
You say that too. Okay, girl.
589
01:24:23,960 --> 01:24:26,940
Say, tell me, did you just come around
the rock or from under it?
590
01:24:27,500 --> 01:24:29,260
Will Honk be our new man?
591
01:24:29,780 --> 01:24:31,360
We tired of old ones.
592
01:24:31,760 --> 01:24:34,300
They never wipe feet when come into
cave.
593
01:24:34,940 --> 01:24:35,940
Never poop.
594
01:24:41,840 --> 01:24:43,180
Would they want to fool around?
595
01:24:44,120 --> 01:24:48,880
Well, uh, my college anthropology class
didn't really prepare me for this, but,
596
01:24:48,900 --> 01:24:50,560
um... What is anthropology?
597
01:24:51,240 --> 01:24:53,460
Ah, that's the study of men erect.
598
01:24:54,280 --> 01:24:56,760
Here, why don't I just come on over
there and I'll show you.
599
01:24:57,320 --> 01:24:58,500
Look at this posture.
600
01:24:58,860 --> 01:25:00,400
Lucky for you, I'm a chiropractor.
601
01:25:02,220 --> 01:25:03,960
Ah, here, let me help you, too.
602
01:25:05,080 --> 01:25:06,080
Here.
603
01:25:06,380 --> 01:25:07,380
Oh!
604
01:25:07,760 --> 01:25:10,020
Oh, weena feel better.
605
01:25:10,320 --> 01:25:12,440
Yeah. You'd that make me now wet.
606
01:25:17,140 --> 01:25:20,100
We make Zug -Zug. Here, hit us on head.
607
01:25:21,240 --> 01:25:22,260
Okay, if you insist.
608
01:25:24,600 --> 01:25:25,680
Give me the lizard.
609
01:25:26,800 --> 01:25:27,800
Wow.
610
01:25:39,690 --> 01:25:41,030
You're friendly little minks, aren't
you?
611
01:25:45,110 --> 01:25:46,670
You know, we just don't talk anymore.
612
01:25:49,410 --> 01:25:50,410
Thank you.
613
01:26:48,210 --> 01:26:50,390
Oh. Oh, yeah.
614
01:26:51,610 --> 01:26:52,610
Yeah.
615
01:26:54,810 --> 01:26:55,810
Oh,
616
01:26:56,510 --> 01:26:57,510
yeah.
617
01:27:18,860 --> 01:27:19,860
people.
618
01:28:11,310 --> 01:28:13,370
Oh yeah.
619
01:29:59,720 --> 01:30:02,520
Yeah. Oh,
620
01:30:05,040 --> 01:30:06,040
yeah.
621
01:30:32,160 --> 01:30:34,060
Oh, yeah.
622
01:30:35,180 --> 01:30:36,300
Oh,
623
01:30:38,420 --> 01:30:39,420
yeah. Oh,
624
01:30:43,420 --> 01:30:44,420
yeah.
625
01:32:30,060 --> 01:32:34,280
Yeah, oh, oh yeah, that's it
626
01:33:22,540 --> 01:33:23,358
Oh, yeah.
627
01:33:23,360 --> 01:33:24,840
Oh, yeah.
628
01:33:25,520 --> 01:33:26,520
Oh,
629
01:33:28,340 --> 01:33:30,500
yeah.
630
01:33:31,300 --> 01:33:35,700
Oh, yeah.
631
01:35:31,080 --> 01:35:32,940
His first name wouldn't happen to be
Ollie, would it?
632
01:35:33,360 --> 01:35:34,360
No, no, it couldn't be.
633
01:35:37,660 --> 01:35:40,100
You know, the last time I saw a mug like
that, it had a string of numbers
634
01:35:40,100 --> 01:35:41,100
underneath it.
635
01:35:43,360 --> 01:35:44,860
Oop! Kill Hunk!
636
01:35:45,280 --> 01:35:46,720
Not if I can help it.
637
01:35:47,440 --> 01:35:49,560
Ah! That bit's some poison gas.
638
01:35:49,780 --> 01:35:51,420
Here, girls, put on your gas masks.
639
01:35:54,860 --> 01:35:55,900
Come here, my little friend.
640
01:35:59,020 --> 01:36:01,030
Hey, hold it! Catch!
641
01:36:11,910 --> 01:36:16,570
See you, alley -oop. Catch you in the
funny papers.
642
01:36:20,990 --> 01:36:22,570
I've got to get out of here before I'm
done serving.
643
01:36:23,290 --> 01:36:24,730
Wait a minute. I've got to go find Nina.
644
01:36:27,660 --> 01:36:30,300
The computer should have a record of
where Nina was the last time before she
645
01:36:30,300 --> 01:36:31,300
disappeared.
646
01:36:34,320 --> 01:36:35,320
Okay.
647
01:36:35,580 --> 01:36:40,040
Passengers departed window in space 7355
between the Milky Way and the four
648
01:36:40,040 --> 01:36:41,480
galaxies. Okay.
649
01:36:41,780 --> 01:36:44,080
All I have to do is go back and go
through that window.
650
01:36:44,700 --> 01:36:45,599
Wait a minute.
651
01:36:45,600 --> 01:36:47,200
There's a chance that I might lose the
time machine.
652
01:36:48,060 --> 01:36:49,280
That's a chance I'm going to have to
take.
653
01:36:52,800 --> 01:36:53,800
Okay.
654
01:36:53,920 --> 01:36:56,920
The year is 7355 A .D. and the correct
coordinates.
655
01:36:57,690 --> 01:36:59,790
You know, I think I'm starting to figure
out the hint of this thing.
656
01:37:00,090 --> 01:37:01,230
Okay, now engage.
657
01:37:04,730 --> 01:37:05,730
Right there.
658
01:37:06,130 --> 01:37:07,130
53 .55.
659
01:37:07,450 --> 01:37:08,450
64 .55.
660
01:37:08,630 --> 01:37:09,630
7 ,000.
661
01:37:10,390 --> 01:37:13,750
Well, Grandfather, thanks for the time
machine and the adventure.
662
01:37:15,070 --> 01:37:16,070
Here we go.
663
01:37:16,510 --> 01:37:17,510
73 .55.
664
01:37:17,950 --> 01:37:18,950
In the window.
665
01:37:27,530 --> 01:37:28,650
You stole my woman!
666
01:37:29,250 --> 01:37:30,590
You horse thief.
667
01:37:30,990 --> 01:37:32,510
Greetings, male earth creature.
668
01:37:32,830 --> 01:37:37,030
It was foolish for you to have come
here. You should have abandoned the
669
01:37:37,030 --> 01:37:42,970
unit. I have studied your species, and
I've found that man is not meant to go
670
01:37:42,970 --> 01:37:44,570
seeing the same woman forever.
671
01:37:45,370 --> 01:37:47,810
Or at least in his case, we run about a
quarter.
672
01:37:48,090 --> 01:37:53,170
Hey. It is fortunate for me you have
materialized here at this time. The
673
01:37:53,170 --> 01:37:56,530
needs slaves to mine titanium on the
planet Fallopia.
674
01:37:57,150 --> 01:37:58,250
You shall do nicely.
675
01:37:58,930 --> 01:37:59,930
Yeah, right.
676
01:38:00,870 --> 01:38:02,850
He doesn't have any phasers or anything,
does he?
677
01:38:03,110 --> 01:38:06,010
No, no. But quick, grab the lava lamp.
It's an alien bomb.
678
01:38:08,130 --> 01:38:10,290
Danger, Will Robinson. Danger, Will
Robinson.
679
01:38:10,510 --> 01:38:15,470
If the Earth creature drops the Uranium
Q36 space modulator, all life forms here
680
01:38:15,470 --> 01:38:16,610
will be terminated.
681
01:38:16,870 --> 01:38:17,870
Listen, pal.
682
01:38:17,890 --> 01:38:21,610
Unless you want to be a Martian jigsaw
puzzle, you better send us back to
683
01:38:21,850 --> 01:38:25,050
That's Cleveland, Ohio, USA, 1996.
684
01:38:25,530 --> 01:38:26,530
And do it now.
685
01:38:27,120 --> 01:38:31,840
Affirmative. You shall return to your
beloved Earth in ten seconds. Now return
686
01:38:31,840 --> 01:38:36,300
the uranium Q -36 space modulator to its
rightful owner.
687
01:38:36,560 --> 01:38:38,560
Oh, no problem.
688
01:38:38,900 --> 01:38:40,200
Here, catch.
689
01:38:46,180 --> 01:38:47,180
Oops.
690
01:39:00,170 --> 01:39:02,090
Hey, we made it. Wow, we're back.
691
01:39:02,370 --> 01:39:03,370
What an adventure.
692
01:39:03,890 --> 01:39:04,890
Yeah, some adventure.
693
01:39:05,190 --> 01:39:06,850
Pretty damn scary if you ask me.
694
01:39:07,630 --> 01:39:10,390
Well, not as scary as when you forget to
flush.
695
01:39:11,250 --> 01:39:12,270
Yeah, that's not funny.
696
01:39:12,610 --> 01:39:14,970
Hey, this is what I've been waiting for.
697
01:39:15,550 --> 01:39:18,850
Come on, let's go shopping and spend
some of that million. Whoa, whoa, whoa,
698
01:39:18,850 --> 01:39:20,550
whoa. Take it easy.
699
01:39:21,210 --> 01:39:23,930
You got all the time in the world.
700
01:39:24,290 --> 01:39:25,650
I guess you're right.
49688
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