All language subtitles for That.70s.Show.S08E13.1080p.Bluray.x265-HiQVE_movieddl.me

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Wow. I didn't think I was
gonna like Kramer vs. Kramer.

But that's back when I thought
we were gonna watch it.

Yeah, for a PG movie
there's a lot of sexual content.

You know, I have noticed
something about you.

You only like to make out
in secret, dark places.

What?
What are you talking about?

Yesterday, you drove me
a half a mile into the woods.

I've never dated
an Italian girl.

I thought I was
gonna get whacked.

Well, it's just... Okay, I'm a little
nervous about telling my friends about us.

Come on. What's the worst thing
that could happen if we told them?

Okay, let me put it this way.

Two years ago, I walked into the basement
and my jeans had a hole in the butt.

To this day they
call me Poopchute Sally.

Poopchute Sally?

Okay, let's go, I don't want to
run into anyone after the movie.

Ooh! Busted!

Wow!

Unbelievable.

After all that, she gives the kid back
to Dustin Hoffman? That bitch is crazy!

♪ Hanging out

♪ Down the street

♪ The same old thing

♪ We did last week

♪ Not a thing to do

♪ But talk to you

♪ We're all all right

♪ We're all all right ♪

Hello, Wisconsin!

I can't get over Donna and
Randy making out like that.

It was all broad shoulders and blond hair.
I could barely tell which one was the boy.

They should save that passion
for her bedroom,

where I have a better view.

I thought it was like watching
Donna make out with Forman,

except Randy wasn't constantly
saying, "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

Well, we're off to buy
curtains for Eric's room.

We're making it into a sewing
area, so I thought a nice floral print

might really pretty it up.

It's all part of our plan to
make Eric's room less girlie.

I wanted to make
my room more manly,

so I put up some posters
of the Village People.

Mission accomplished.

Oh, oh, oh, well, I want to get to the fabric
store before Mary's quilting club shows up.

Those fat cows think they own
the remnant box.

Oh, crap.

I stashed something real important
and real illegal up in Forman's room.

Where'd you hide it?

I don't know.

I was under the
influence of it when I hid it.

Oh! Hey, it's Donna and Randy.

Where have you guys been,
Donna and Randy?

Oh! Well, I was at the park,

where I was practicing my violin

for a family of ducks.

I was at home.

Huh. That's simple.

Really? 'Cause, you know, we
went to see Kramer vs. Kramer,

but instead we saw Randy's
hand versus Donna's bra strap.

I believe it was directed
by Francis Ford Cop-A-Feel.

Donna! Why didn't you just tell
us you were going out with Randy?

I don't know. It was just, you
know... You guys are friends with Eric

and I didn't know
what you'd think.

I'm happy for you.

Yeah, man, whatever.

Yeah, I think it's great.

I mean, you finally found a guy who is
stronger than you, and that's hard to do.

Okay, great! Cool, now we can all
hang out and it won't be awkward.

You know, it's this kind of
awkwardness reminds me of a time

my dad brought this chick home.

And in the morning,
she turned out to be a guy.

Although Tony did make me
a kick-ass Denver omelet.

Well, I have a question that I
think will make things less awkward.

Randy, when you kiss Donna,
is it smooth like melted fudge?

Or rough like a cock fight?

Fez! Now, that is personal!

So have you guys had sex yet?

Jackie!

My money is on no. Donna is
a strong, independent woman

who feels that men should
respect women for their minds.

In other words,
she's a big fat tease.

Well, I think it's
going to happen soon.

Because normally, Donna only
shaves her legs up to her knees.

But this morning, she went all
the way from Miami to Jacksonville.

Oh, Fez, thank you so much for
getting me a job as a hair consultant.

Well, I told my boss that you
were reliable and hard-working.

Aw, you lied for me.

- Hey there, Fez.
- Hilary.

I saved you a bite
of my cinnamon muffin.

Oh, what a coincidence. I saved
you a bite of my cinnamon bun!

Oh, I would do anything to go
out with that hot little number.

Well,
have you asked her out yet?

Well, I've found that if a man creates
mystery, the woman will come to him.

- So you're scared?
- Terrified.

But I think it is time
for you to get to work.

Okay. Wow.

So, okay, the first thing we're
gonna do is get rid of these curls,

'cause they kind of make
you look like a poodle.

What the hell are you doing?

You are not supposed
to talk to the customers!

What...
I am the hair consultant!

I just said that to get you
down here. The truth is,

you're our sweep-up girl.

What? No, that's the pathetic
foreign girl with the wandering eye

who sweeps up the hair.

No. She's your boss.

Oh.

I've always been
curious about something.

Heavens!

Oh. Hey.

Didn't know you guys
were starting this early.

It's 2:00 in the afternoon!

Yeah, that damn school bus bringing
home those kids woke me up again.

So, uh, you guys find
anything interesting?

Oh, well.

I did find this Good
Housekeeping under Eric's bed.

And apparently, he was very
interested in self breast exams.

Yeah. Mrs. Forman, I think the
only thing he was interested in

was examining himself.

Oh, well, Steven, that is a
perfectly normal biological function.

And my baby never did that!

Hey, Red, you need some help?

Nah, nah, I'm just boxing up
some of Eric's awards.

Oh, it was a proud day when
he came home with this beauty.

"Cub Scout Fair.

"Prettiest
Non-Functioning Kite."

Uh, Mrs. Forman, my dad said
you had something for me.

Oh, yes, honey.

I found some things I thought
you might wanna hold on to.

These are gifts and notes
that you gave to Eric

and it's not like I read any of them,
but you have some potty-mouth.

Mrs. Forman, like, seriously,
Eric and I are through.

Oh, honey, I know you think that
now, but he'll be back soon and you'll...

You'll have one of those talks on
the hood of the car. Yes, I watch!

But you'll be
right back together.

No, we won't.
I'm... I'm moving on.

And it's not easy, 'cause,
I mean, everywhere I look,

something reminds me of Eric.

I'm sure this area in particular
brings back a lot of memories.

You went out again last night?

Yup. I left the club with a creamy
white girl and a chocolaty black girl.

We went home
and made hot fudge sundae.

And then we did it.

Uh, Fez,
why are you lying to her?

Shh!

But you didn't
go out last night.

You were lying in front of the TV trying
to look up Victoria Principal's dress.

Don't you have some hair
to sweep, sweep-up girl?

Huh? No. The place is clean.

Don't worry, that's how the
kids are wearing it nowadays.

Happy birthday,
Eric! I have a sexy surprise for you.

Look across into my window.

Yeah, I thought you'd like those.
Now, come over here, and I'll...

- Hey!
- Hey!

What's up?

Nothing.
Just, you know, hanging out.

Cool. Never sat on the hood
of a car with a girl before.

Yeah, actually, you know what?
This car was kind of...

- Ooh! Light saber!
- Oh.

Yeah,
that belonged to someone...

- Check it out!
- ...else.

I'm Luke Skywalker.
I'm here to rescue you!

Stop it!

What the hell?

I'm sorry! I'm sorry. This
is... This is just too weird.

I can't do this.
I can't see you anymore.

You could've just said
you didn't like Star Wars.

Mrs. Forman, you wouldn't believe
the lies Fez tells this girl at work.

I mean, he is pretending to be
someone else completely.

So what? You pretend to be someone
else every time you put on make-up.

I have seen you in the morning.
Your face looks like scrambled eggs.

Well, we all do
a little pretending.

Sometimes, when I'm
bringing in the groceries,

I pretend to be Scarlett O'Hara.

And I look at all
the brown bags and I say,

"As God is my witness,

"I'll never go hungry again!"

Oh! Oh!
And sometimes with Red, I...

Okay, well, the point is,
it's okay to pretend.

Look, I like Hilary, and I was
afraid that if she knew the real Fez

that she wouldn't like me,

so I created a new Fez.

A better Fez.
I call this Fez "Work Fez."

You should see me down there.

Okay, let's do this!

♪ Who is the man that would
risk his neck for his brother man

♪ Fez

You're damn right.

♪ Who's the cat that won't cop
out when there's danger all about?

♪ Fez

Right on.

♪ Yo, they say this
cat Fez is a bad mother...

♪ Shut your mouth

♪ I'm talking about Fez

♪ And we can dig it

♪ He's a complicated man and no
one understands him but his woman

♪ Work Fez ♪

I wondered why the last time I came
in you said my hair looked blackalicious.

Hyde, I hope I did the
right thing with Randy.

It just felt weird, starting
up a new relationship.

Yeah, well, you know, it's tough when
you've been with someone for a long time.

Like, just the other day,
I heard this burglar alarm,

and it was making this really
awful high-pitched squealing noise.

I found myself
thinking about Jackie.

Well, you know, I think I might
have hurt Randy's feelings.

- Hey, Donna.
- Hi.

Randy is helping me build
Kitty's sewing table.

We're gonna make it real nice so she
feels obliged to spend hours up here.

Hey, Steven.

How about taking a ride with me down
to the lumberyard before they close?

- No, I'm good.
- Nah, you're coming.

See, I know that
you hid dope up here.

And if you found
it while I was gone,

I'd miss that pathetic look on your
face when I flush it down the toilet.

You're a real messed-up dude.

Yeah. Come on.

So, um,

Randy, I just wanna make sure that,
you know, I hope we can still be friends.

Yeah. I'm cool with that.

Well, aren't you
just Beaver freakin' Cleaver?

You want me to be a jerk?

Well, it would make breaking
up with you a lot easier.

Donna. I'm sorry, I don't
want this to be hard for you.

- There you go again.
- Fine!

I won't say another word!

Oh, now you're gonna show me
the muscles?

"I'm Randy, I got big muscles!
I'm good-looking!"

You're an ass!

So, when are you and I gonna go out
and put the fever back in Saturday night?

Or Thursday,
whenever you're free.

I don't think I
could keep up with you.

I think you'll be fine.

How do you know?
Have you guys gone out?

Oh, God, no!
No, we're just roommates.

Wait. Fez, you told me
you had your own place.

You called it the Feznasium.

Of... Of course I do! I found this
poor thing wandering around the street

so I'm letting
her stay at my pad.

Yes, I am teaching
her the ways of love.

Okay, that's it. Hilary, you know what?
Everything that Fez has told you is a lie.

He doesn't go out.
He's in bed by 9:00!

And his idea of a "threesome"
is Neapolitan ice-cream.

Look, I don't know
what she is talking about.

Look, this is what happens when
you hire a girl right off the boat.

Oh, really? Okay, here, take
a look inside his backpack.

Hey, that's my backpack!

When the Phone Never Rings:
A Beginner's Guide to Self-Love.

Anybody lose a backpack?

Hey, Donna. Come here and
take a look at this sewing table.

It's even got a cup-holder,
like Kitty asked.

You know, that Randy is a pretty
sharp kid. He build this thing in two days.

The only thing Eric ever made
was this crappy birdhouse.

Oh, yeah.

He was always too afraid to use the
drill so he just painted the hole on there.

Yeah, and one by one, an entire
family of bluebirds flew to their deaths.

Mr. Forman,

what would you think if I
hypothetically,

possibly, maybe started
dating a new guy?

I'd say I think you can do
whatever the hell you want.

My dumb ass son
broke up with you.

You gotta have your own life.

I have absolutely no problem
with you dating Randy.

What, you know about that?

Oh, come on.

Your eyes nearly popped out of your
head when you saw him in that tool belt.

Okay, cool. It really means a lot to
me that you guys are okay with this.

No, no, no. Wait, no. I'm okay.
For the love of God, don't tell Kitty.

I'd have to make her
a bigger cup-holder!

Thanks a lot, Jackie. Now Hilary
thinks I'm a crazy, self-loving pervert.

Well, she was gonna
think that eventually.

Fez, I'm confused.
Why have you been lying to me?

Well, I wanted you to think I
was cool, so you'd go out with me.

But now you hate me.

Actually, I don't.

Before,
I was always so intimidated,

but now that I know you're just a
regular guy, I'd totally go out with you.

Even after you saw my...

...book?

You're lonely. I think
it's cute and endearing.

Um, I think you mean
gross and appalling.

Jackie, he's a lost soul.

Someone has to take care of him.

Yes.

I'm broken.

Fix me.

Perfect. It's just like
my grandpa used to say,

"You measure it twice,
everything's nice."

Actually, in his later years,
it was all he said.

Hey, Red, can you hand me
that box of drawer handles?

What's this?

Oh! That's mine! Oh, crap.

A macrame owl?

What the hell kind of
pansy-ass thing is this?

I do macrame.

It's my therapy.

Well, I didn't realize
you were so stressed out.

But I think you'll feel a lot better
once you get the sex change.

There's my therapy.

Hey. Find your stash?

Yep. Now I'm gonna punish it
for hiding on me

by burning it.

Okay, look, I've been
thinking about this,

and before, on the car, I
think I might have over-reacted.

It's just, I was in a relationship
for a really long time.

And it's gonna take me a while
to get used to something new.

Donna, I get it.

Okay. Great. So let's just, you know,
take it slow and see where it goes.

I'm cool with that,
Poopchute Sally.

Shut up.

Oh, my God!

In Eric's bedroom?

You two-timing whore!

Here's a tissue.

Thank you.

It's gonna be okay.

It's just so sad. How could I drop
an entire box of M&Ms on the floor?

Do you want me to
go buy you a new one?

It was the last one.

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