All language subtitles for That.70s.Show.S07E11.1080p.Bluray.x265-HiQVE_movieddl.me

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Guys, check it out.

Somebody just left all these
toys at the police station.

Guess they figured, if cops
have something to play with,

then we won't stress out and
accidentally shoot somebody.

Or, and stay with me here,
Inspector Meathead,

maybe these toys
are for the toy drive.

Yeah, Kelso,
these toys are probably

all those needy kids get
on Christmas morning.

Holy crap, is that
an Evel Knievel stunt cycle?

Oh, my God, let's set it up!

We have to find something
for Evel Knievel to crash into,

like something funny.

Fez, lie down over here
and close your eyes.

Man, I feel just like a
kid on, like... I don't know,

like, some morning where kids
get to open a lot of presents.

Guys, I don't feel
right about this.

Oh, buddy, we're not gonna
aim it at your head.

No, I'm not
worried about my head.

Awesome. He's not
worried about his head?

Let's aim it at his head.

No, I'm just...

I just don't feel right about
taking these toys away from kids.

Oh, but, Fez,

this could be the Christmas
that I never had.

My parents wouldn't get me
cool stuff when I was a kid.

Every year, I got a raincoat.

And then,
to make sure it worked,

we had to go outside and Red
would spray me with the hose.

Yeah, Fez.
What about my Christmas, man?

I mean, I'd wake up in the
morning, rush out in my PJs,

and find what strange man Santa
had left laying underneath my mother.

Fine. We'll each open
one present. But only one.

All right.

Look at what we've done.

What should we do now?

We need batteries.

- A buttload.
- Yeah.

♪ Hanging out

♪ Down the street

♪ The same old thing

♪ We did last week

♪ Not a thing to do

♪ But talk to you

♪ We're all all right

♪ We're all all right ♪

Hello, Wisconsin!

Ho, ho, ho!

Thanks for helping me with
my Christmas party, girls.

You know, this is the most
important event of the year

for the Ladies of Point Place,

or as we like to call
ourselves, the LOPPs.

You know, the LOPPs are known for
being super stuck-up and totally two-faced.

I can't wait till I get in.

Hey, Mrs. Forman?

I need, like,
a buttload of batteries.

What for?

Oh, um, Kelso wants to see

how badly he can shock himself.

Oh, okay, they're in the drawer.

Oh, hey, Steven, don't forget about
the Ladies of Point Place party tonight.

Oh, yeah. I forgot.
Um, I can't go.

Something more
important came up.

But you promised you'd go.

Jackie, if I promised,
I clearly wasn't listening.

Which you should've known,
so this is your fault.

I can't believe Steven.

He knows this is a big deal to
me, and he doesn't even care.

Jackie, don't be so hard on him.

I know it's a big deal to you
and I don't care.

Knock, knock.

Patty Ryals, I didn't know
you were back in town.

Well, you always return
to where you were young,

which I know, for you, Kitty,
is a long time ago.

Actually, I just
dropped by to tell you

I'm taking over tonight's Ladies
of Point Place Christmas party.

What? No, I'm in charge.

Past tense.

The LOPPs remembered that
you aren't the most reliable L of PP

after I reminded them about
the punch-bowl incident of 1973.

You dredged up
my Chappaquiddick?

What did Mrs. Forman do?

She spiked the wrong punch bowl.

I missed the sixth grade
Christmas play

'cause I couldn't
walk a straight line.

VertiBird central,
you are cleared for takeoff.

Prepare to transport funion.

We have visual.
Funion's remaining secure.

VertiBird to Kelso,
prepare to receive funion.

Roger that.

Awaiting funion.

Funion's under attack!
Funion's under attack!

Steady with the funion.

Houston, the funion has landed.

- Yeah!
- Yeah!

- What's going on?
- Eric flew a funion
into my mouth.

This is what's more important
than going to a party with me?

Jackie,
I think you're overreacting.

And yes.

You guys seriously
need to grow up.

Okay.

I think someone's a little mad that
we didn't fly a funion into her mouth.

Okay, Steven, I'm going
to that Christmas party,

and if you don't come with me
right now, you are in so much trouble.

Right now!

I'm opening the door.

I'm stepping outside.

I'm closing the door.

You are
in so much trouble!

You know, I thought
Steven was maturing.

He's out of high school,
he's got a job,

and lately he's even been taking
his sunglasses off inside the house.

That's real progress, Donna.

Well, maybe what's
going on with Hyde

is the same thing that's
going on with my boyfriend,

Lieutenant Funion.

It's that stupid Kelso.

He's always talking
them into having fun.

Steven should not be having
fun, he should be with me.

Okay, girls,
time to get to the party.

Well, Jackie, look, I think Eric and
Hyde are feeling the pressures of life,

and they want to
have one last blowout.

Okay, Steven does
not need a blowout,

he needs a kick in the nads.

It's Christmas.

At holiday time, we say, "He
needs a kick in the sleigh bells."

Kitty, these decorations
look awful.

This isn't your living room.

Everything has to match.

You should have mentioned that
to your plastic surgeon.

Jackie Burkhart.

Welcome to the LOPPs'
Christmas party.

Where's your boyfriend?

Oh, um, he can't be here.

He's at rich stockbroker school.

Well, then I'm just
gonna have to seat you

with the Single
Ladies of Point Place.

The SLOPPs?

Ha!
You're a SLOPP.

Hey, there, hi, there,
ho, ho, ho there.

Patty Ryals? It's me.

Well, yes, Santa,
it's good to see you.

Bob Pinciotti.
We went out that time?

I didn't have the beard then,

although I think I wore
a similar red jacket.

Speaking of which,
that's rented,

so try not to sweat through it.

What a woman.

Bad news, Kitty.

I went by the police station
to pick up the toys.

They've been stolen.

- What?
- Yeah.

Makes me think the police
in this town aren't that good.

Red, getting those gifts here

was the only job Patty left me.

Okay, you need to go home, you
need to find something, anything,

to wrap up and give
away at the party.

Oh, fine.

But this counts as one of
your Christmas presents.

This is horrible.

Taking toys from children.

What kind of monster
would do such a thing?

I'm a monster!

It's broken already?

This toy's stupid.

Looks like somebody
needs a nappy-nap.

No, I want to
open another present.

- Forman, just take a rest.
- I'm not tired, okay?

Can I have a turn?

I'm playing with it.

You're supposed to share.

I don't wanna.

What the hell?

Where did all these
toys come from?

Well...

Dad, I guess I'm just gonna
have to tell you the truth.

It was Santa Claus.

How could you do this?

I told them it was wrong,
I told them.

But then they drove
a toy into my head,

and it was all
blurry after that.

These toys were
for the needy kids

at your mother's party,
you idiot.

Oh, man.

There's, uh, no chance

that they might want
a raincoat, is there?

Red, the thing is, is that

these toys are too
nice for the needy kids.

You need to start them off
with something simple, like

a ball of yarn.

Look, Dad, I think
we can safely say

that none of this
would have happened

if you had just bought me
an Evel Knievel stunt cycle

when I was younger.

I bought you one of those.

Santa left it under the tree
that year with...

Oh, wait.

Okay, Eric's all tucked in,

put out carrots
for the reindeer,

and a little wine for Santa.

Look at this thing
that I got for Eric.

You rev up the bike
and Evel Knievel goes flying.

In real life he's a moron,
but as a toy he's awfully fun.

Let me see if I can make it
over the garage.

Go!

Damn.

I really thought I could
make it over the garage.

Oh, well,
everybody makes mistakes.

I'm gonna give you
a pass on this one.

Just get these presents wrapped
up and over to the community center.

Okay. Yeah,
we'll take care of it, Dad.

All right.

I think it's clear
what we gotta do.

Yeah.

Can we at least drive the stunt
cycle into Fez's head one more time?

What do you say, buddy?

Well, it is Christmas.

- Set it up, boys.
- All right! Very nice.

All right, Kitty.

I brought some stuff
from the house

that I'm sure
the kids are gonna love.

A cheese grater?

Kids love cheese.

It's like Play-Doh to them.

Look, don't worry. The real
presents are gonna be here soon.

How do you know?

Because you have
to believe, Kitty.

Like me.

Believe in Christmas.

We need to stall.
Read the kids a story.

Well, I have a book in the car,
but it's about the Korean War.

Well, go get it.

Better those kids suffer
emotional damage

than I look bad in
front of the LOPPs!

Tell you what.

Santa will bring you
the bike for Christmas

if you go bring Santa a hoagie.

You know what I'd really
like for Christmas?

Patty Ryals.

All you men ever think about
is what you want.

What about what we want?

Boys never grow up.

You know, one minute they agree
to go to a party with you, and the next,

they're in a basement
full of stolen toys.

And you're no better.

Sitting there
pretending to be Santa Claus.

You're not Santa Claus?

No. No, no, he is.

He is, it's just that
she is the evil Ice Witch.

Come on, let's get you
some grown-up punch.

Well, since we can't bring these
presents through the front door,

looks like the chimney's
the only way in.

I love being on a rooftop.

You can really see the whole
town spread out in front of you.

It really is
a crappy town, isn't it?

All right, who's gonna
take the plunge?

Not me.

If we were jumping off
the roof, I'd do it, but...

This just seems foolish.

You know what?
I'll do it.

I've always wanted to save the
day by sliding down a chimney.

That opportunity comes up
surprisingly rarely.

All right.
I'm gonna do this.

Okay, looks like it might be
kind of a tight fit.

I don't know if I'm gonna
fit all the way down!

All right.

Toss down the toys.

It's okay, Forman,

we're just gonna sneak them in
through the back door.

There's a back door?

Yeah, I saw it on the way in.

I just wanted to see one of
you guys go down the chimney.

"Blood ran like a river that
day on Heartbreak Ridge.

"Hundreds of soldiers had given
their lives and limbs trying to take..."

Trying to take the North Pole.

"The North Koreans..."

The North Pole Korean elves

"were weary from
heat on that sun-baked..."

"" Snowy Christmas Eve.

Kitty, where are the toys?

Oh, um...

This year, in order
to build anticipation,

I hid them behind the curtain.

You can't see them now,
not because they're not there,

but because they're
behind the curtain.

Hidden.

Well, the children won't wait.

Gladys, open the curtain.

No, no, no, wait. Wait.

Boys and girls, I'm sorry.

I just, you know, I think
Santa hasn't quite finished his...

♪ Christmas

♪ Christmas ♪

Okay, kids, go get 'em.

Who was in charge
of giving out the toys here?

It was Kitty.

I think she's been drinking.

Well, it was perfect.

The LOPPs would like you
to run our Valentine's party.

I'm in charge? Oh!

Oh!

This is the same as
Lyndon Johnson

being sworn in on the airplane

after President Kennedy was...

Well, that was a tragedy,
but I'm in charge!

You hear that, Patty Ryals?
She's in charge.

So you will be
taking orders from her.

So put that in your
face-lift and smoke it.

Oh, look
at the two of you.

Isn't this just
the most special Christmas?

Where's Eric?

Yeah, um...

Um, yeah,

just a quick question.

Um, where does that
chimney up on the roof go?

Well, I'm kind of
a chimney enthusiast.

Oh, well, that goes into
the bakery next door.

Hello?

Hyde?

Somebody?

I'll be at the bakery.

Damn.
That's a nice crop of SLOPPs.

Look at who decided
to finally show up.

Jackie, are you still mad?

Come on, man,
this is not a big deal.

I mean, six months ago, you would
have thought this is really funny.

Yeah, six months ago.

Steven, you can't
act like this forever.

I need to know
the guy I'm in love with

isn't gonna blow me off
for a room full of toys.

That's not a guarantee
I can ever give you.

Well, things are
changing, Steven.

I mean, we're practically
grown up.

Yeah, and you know what?
I'm just trying to have a little fun

before I settle down
and life goes to crap.

Is that what you think?
That life with me will be crap?

That's not what I said.

No, it's okay. At least
now I know how you feel.

Jackie.

I'm sorry, I don't
remember our date, Barry.

It's Bob.

But since it is Christmas Eve
and we are both alone,

would you like to
get some dinner?

I like the way you're thinking.

Or we could skip dinner.

Well, I'm more active
with a burger in me.

Hey, Hyde,

you and Jackie fix things up?

I don't know, man.

If she wants to ruin
Christmas, fine by me,

'cause I am not
playing her game.

It's the stupid needy kids
who are playing games.

They took all of our games.

Look what I found in the
bakery, curled up in the fireplace.

What the hell?

You guys just left me there.

If I hadn't landed on,

well, some of the most delicious
baked goods that I ever tasted,

I very well could have
starved to death.

All right, man,
I'll make it up to you,

'cause I got a Christmas
present for everybody.

This is one messed up
Christmas, man.

You guys are all starting
to look like elves.

That must have freaked you out.

- It's gonna fall off.
- It's okay.

Oh, my God,
it is gonna fall off.

- It's okay.
- Okay.

Let me give you my recipe
for holiday cheer.

Take one SLOPP,
add half a bottle of schnapps,

then stir freely with Fez.

It is a wonderful life.

- Merry Christmas, Son.
- Oh, my God.

You finally got me
an Evel Knievel stunt cycle!

Ooh, you can go outside
in your new raincoat

and give it a try.

Ooh.

Oh, Red. Not again.

Well, it's his own damn fault

for wanting a toy that's so fun.

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