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1
00:00:03,988 --> 00:00:06,908
So, you gotta work at the
radio station on Christmas Eve?
2
00:00:06,949 --> 00:00:08,702
God, it's like,
doesn't anyone respect
3
00:00:08,744 --> 00:00:10,620
the sanctity of that holy night?
4
00:00:10,662 --> 00:00:12,056
We were gonna get
drunk and fool around
5
00:00:12,080 --> 00:00:14,750
behind your dad's manger scene.
6
00:00:14,791 --> 00:00:16,626
But this is my first
shot at deejaying.
7
00:00:16,668 --> 00:00:19,421
If I do well, Hot Donna
could be the regular DJ
8
00:00:19,462 --> 00:00:23,550
on Tuesdays from
1:00 to 5:00 a.m.
9
00:00:23,592 --> 00:00:26,094
Every insomniac and burn-out
in town is gonna know who I am.
10
00:00:26,135 --> 00:00:28,764
Well, say hello to
your target audience.
11
00:00:30,306 --> 00:00:31,683
Play more Zeppelin.
12
00:00:32,975 --> 00:00:35,103
You guys, I've got
some terrible news.
13
00:00:35,144 --> 00:00:37,064
I've just been kicked off
the cheerleading squad.
14
00:00:37,105 --> 00:00:38,648
Oh, my gentle Jesus!
Oh, no!
15
00:00:38,690 --> 00:00:40,983
Oh, why?
16
00:00:41,025 --> 00:00:44,153
Jackie, I know how you feel. I
once got kicked off a cheerleader.
17
00:00:46,615 --> 00:00:48,658
Well, I need to get
back on that squad.
18
00:00:48,700 --> 00:00:50,869
They might be a bunch of
pom-pom waving bitches,
19
00:00:50,911 --> 00:00:52,829
but they're all I know.
20
00:00:52,871 --> 00:00:56,291
Steven, you've gotta take me to the
Christmas Eve dance tomorrow night.
21
00:00:56,332 --> 00:00:58,501
Uh, no.
22
00:00:58,543 --> 00:01:01,129
I can either dance with you or
spend Christmas Eve with you.
23
00:01:01,170 --> 00:01:02,714
Cannot do a combo.
24
00:01:02,756 --> 00:01:05,675
Steven, they will never take me
back if I don't show up all proud.
25
00:01:05,717 --> 00:01:07,093
If you could just see No.
26
00:01:07,135 --> 00:01:08,571
That this is something that's
really important to me, No.
27
00:01:08,595 --> 00:01:10,322
Then you'd understand that,
as my boyfriend, you should go.
28
00:01:10,346 --> 00:01:11,598
No!
Fine.
29
00:01:12,223 --> 00:01:13,349
Please?
30
00:01:14,810 --> 00:01:16,018
Fine.
Okay.
31
00:01:17,228 --> 00:01:18,313
Hey, shut up.
32
00:01:18,354 --> 00:01:19,994
If I'm going,
you guys are coming with me.
33
00:01:20,022 --> 00:01:23,485
Oh, no. I cannot go
to a high-school dance.
34
00:01:23,526 --> 00:01:26,488
I'm gonna be a father soon, I
gotta start acting more mature.
35
00:01:26,529 --> 00:01:27,988
All right, orange!
36
00:01:31,743 --> 00:01:33,870
Yeah, I'm not going either.
37
00:01:33,912 --> 00:01:35,431
The football team and I have
a little disagreement.
38
00:01:35,455 --> 00:01:38,082
They think it's funny
to stuff me into a locker,
39
00:01:39,375 --> 00:01:41,837
and I disagree.
40
00:01:41,878 --> 00:01:44,380
Yeah, man, the day I
graduated, I promised myself
41
00:01:44,422 --> 00:01:47,216
I would never set foot in
that godforsaken place again.
42
00:01:47,884 --> 00:01:49,511
Great news, kids.
43
00:01:49,552 --> 00:01:52,722
Red's gonna be the Santa down
at the mall on Christmas Eve,
44
00:01:52,764 --> 00:01:55,558
and I've signed you all up
to be his little helpers.
45
00:02:00,605 --> 00:02:02,357
Oh, I'm sorry, Mom.
46
00:02:02,398 --> 00:02:04,418
We're all going to the
Christmas Eve dance at school.
47
00:02:04,442 --> 00:02:06,027
Yeah!
48
00:02:09,614 --> 00:02:11,825
♪ Hanging out
49
00:02:13,576 --> 00:02:15,244
♪ Down the street
50
00:02:16,997 --> 00:02:19,040
♪ The same old thing
51
00:02:20,709 --> 00:02:23,044
♪ We did last week
52
00:02:24,212 --> 00:02:28,008
♪ Not a thing to do
53
00:02:28,049 --> 00:02:31,928
♪ But talk to you
54
00:02:31,970 --> 00:02:33,596
♪ We're all all right
55
00:02:33,638 --> 00:02:35,390
♪ We're all all right
56
00:02:36,224 --> 00:02:38,059
Hello, Wisconsin!
57
00:02:46,026 --> 00:02:47,318
Don't go away, kids,
58
00:02:47,360 --> 00:02:49,445
A Year Without A Santa Claus
will be right back.
59
00:02:49,487 --> 00:02:52,991
Man, Heat Miser's badass.
60
00:02:53,033 --> 00:02:55,093
So, what time are you coming
down to the station tonight?
61
00:02:55,117 --> 00:02:57,119
Let's see, the Christmas
dance starts at 8:00,
62
00:02:57,161 --> 00:02:58,872
so I'll just come as
soon as it gets lame.
63
00:02:58,914 --> 00:03:00,456
Say, uh, 8:02.
64
00:03:01,833 --> 00:03:03,292
Yeah. Hey, you know what?
65
00:03:03,334 --> 00:03:04,812
I'll even bring you
something sweet to munch on.
66
00:03:04,836 --> 00:03:06,713
Oh, and some cookies.
67
00:03:07,589 --> 00:03:09,507
What? Oh, what?
68
00:03:09,549 --> 00:03:11,217
Okay, now, please...
69
00:03:12,510 --> 00:03:14,387
Stand still.
70
00:03:14,429 --> 00:03:16,806
Nobody likes a Santa
with plumber's butt.
71
00:03:18,016 --> 00:03:19,308
Why am I doing this?
72
00:03:19,350 --> 00:03:21,686
Because I wanna
force some good cheer
73
00:03:21,728 --> 00:03:24,856
through your clogged arteries
and into your cranky heart.
74
00:03:25,982 --> 00:03:27,901
Yeah, it's like Christmas Drano.
75
00:03:30,486 --> 00:03:33,322
I can't believe you're
replacing me as Santa, Red.
76
00:03:33,364 --> 00:03:36,117
Three years and now
management says I'm too jolly.
77
00:03:37,285 --> 00:03:38,661
What do you want, Bob?
78
00:03:38,703 --> 00:03:40,204
I want to be Santa.
79
00:03:40,246 --> 00:03:42,749
Well, it's Red's turn this year.
80
00:03:42,791 --> 00:03:45,501
Santa could use an elf.
81
00:03:45,543 --> 00:03:48,713
Fine, but I don't wanna sit in the
back and pretend to assemble toys.
82
00:03:48,755 --> 00:03:51,049
I want to participate.
83
00:03:51,091 --> 00:03:53,843
Yeah, Bob,
you gotta keep your dignity.
84
00:03:53,885 --> 00:03:55,511
If you're in an elf costume,
85
00:03:55,553 --> 00:03:59,348
you don't want that tiny
hammer making you look silly.
86
00:03:59,390 --> 00:04:01,267
Steven, for the
Christmas Eve dance... No.
87
00:04:01,309 --> 00:04:02,578
What do you think
about this tie? No.
88
00:04:02,602 --> 00:04:03,686
Maybe this jacket...
No.
89
00:04:03,728 --> 00:04:04,604
How about a blazer?
No.
90
00:04:04,646 --> 00:04:06,147
Fine... Bolo?
91
00:04:07,148 --> 00:04:08,190
Fine.
Okay.
92
00:04:15,281 --> 00:04:17,700
Okay, Brooke,
I made a list of reasons
93
00:04:17,742 --> 00:04:20,620
why I'm gonna make a
great dad for our little baby.
94
00:04:21,997 --> 00:04:24,457
Okay, number one, I am a waiter.
95
00:04:27,002 --> 00:04:29,337
So we'll never
run out of straws.
96
00:04:29,378 --> 00:04:32,132
See? Look,
kids love straws.
97
00:04:33,549 --> 00:04:37,846
Michael, I really appreciate
the gesture, but no thanks.
98
00:04:37,887 --> 00:04:41,223
Seriously,
I think if we just hang out,
99
00:04:41,265 --> 00:04:43,559
you'll see that I'm getting
a lot more mature.
100
00:04:43,601 --> 00:04:46,521
I mean, just the other day
I watched golf and took a nap.
101
00:04:47,939 --> 00:04:50,191
Look, Michael, if we
weren't in this situation,
102
00:04:50,232 --> 00:04:52,443
I think you'd be
a really good friend.
103
00:04:52,485 --> 00:04:55,530
I mean, you're nice,
you bring me stuff,
104
00:04:56,656 --> 00:04:58,783
dogs love you.
105
00:04:58,825 --> 00:05:02,286
I just think we should limit
our time together to
106
00:05:02,328 --> 00:05:03,705
almost none.
107
00:05:03,746 --> 00:05:07,249
Okay, how about we make a
compromise between "almost none"
108
00:05:07,291 --> 00:05:09,878
and what I want to do,
which is "it"?
109
00:05:12,338 --> 00:05:16,009
Okay, if you want, you can
help me hang decorations tonight
110
00:05:16,051 --> 00:05:17,927
for the library's
Christmas party.
111
00:05:17,969 --> 00:05:20,013
Spend Christmas
Eve in a library?
112
00:05:21,097 --> 00:05:23,016
Why don't you just
kick me in the 'nads?
113
00:05:32,567 --> 00:05:34,819
Okay, here comes Julie,
the head cheerleader.
114
00:05:34,861 --> 00:05:36,654
Now, Steven, make me look good.
115
00:05:36,696 --> 00:05:38,073
Hello, Jackie.
116
00:05:38,114 --> 00:05:39,657
Hello, Julie.
117
00:05:39,699 --> 00:05:42,242
This is my boyfriend,
Steven J. Hyde III.
118
00:05:43,870 --> 00:05:45,245
First two are in jail.
119
00:05:47,331 --> 00:05:51,961
He pretends to be poor.
Isn't that funny?
120
00:05:52,003 --> 00:05:54,047
I have to say, I thought
you'd be too embarrassed
121
00:05:54,089 --> 00:05:55,423
to show your face here tonight.
122
00:05:55,464 --> 00:05:58,801
Well, to be honest, I only
came to see your outfit,
123
00:05:58,843 --> 00:06:01,429
so I'd know what not to wear.
124
00:06:01,470 --> 00:06:03,389
Well, let me show you the back.
125
00:06:07,810 --> 00:06:10,021
If you're trying to get back
on the cheerleading squad,
126
00:06:10,063 --> 00:06:11,313
shouldn't you be nice to her?
127
00:06:11,355 --> 00:06:13,900
Bitchiness is the only language
cheerleaders understand.
128
00:06:13,942 --> 00:06:15,443
These are bad girls,
129
00:06:15,484 --> 00:06:17,612
they need to be punished,
and they know it.
130
00:06:19,614 --> 00:06:23,034
Yeah, this is way better than
hanging out at the library with Brooke.
131
00:06:23,076 --> 00:06:25,120
Lot of great memories in here.
132
00:06:25,161 --> 00:06:27,287
Did it in there.
133
00:06:27,329 --> 00:06:29,749
Did it back there.
134
00:06:29,791 --> 00:06:32,376
Got caught by Miss Tompkins
doing it down there.
135
00:06:33,962 --> 00:06:37,132
Did it with Miss
Tompkins over there.
136
00:06:37,173 --> 00:06:38,800
Everyone, look for
football players.
137
00:06:38,841 --> 00:06:41,510
I cannot spend another
holiday in a locker.
138
00:06:41,552 --> 00:06:44,847
And this time, if I don't
show up for two days,
139
00:06:44,889 --> 00:06:46,474
come look for me.
140
00:06:47,892 --> 00:06:49,936
Oh, my God!
Eric Forman?
141
00:06:49,978 --> 00:06:52,188
You look great,
I love your shirt.
142
00:06:52,230 --> 00:06:54,774
Really?
143
00:06:54,816 --> 00:06:58,153
I wore this shirt for four
years, and no one said a thing.
144
00:06:58,194 --> 00:07:00,238
I guess now you
really fill it out.
145
00:07:01,239 --> 00:07:02,322
Thanks.
146
00:07:05,493 --> 00:07:08,037
I'm, like, up to 17
push-ups a night so...
147
00:07:09,497 --> 00:07:11,540
No, I don't think that's it.
148
00:07:11,582 --> 00:07:14,043
I think it's because you're
not a high-school boy anymore.
149
00:07:14,085 --> 00:07:15,586
Yeah, you're 18 now.
150
00:07:15,628 --> 00:07:17,839
You've seen and done it all.
151
00:07:17,880 --> 00:07:19,799
No, no, I...
152
00:07:19,841 --> 00:07:21,217
Yes.
153
00:07:22,510 --> 00:07:24,971
Yes, I have.
154
00:07:25,013 --> 00:07:28,808
Hey, you need to watch out,
okay? Girls are talking to you.
155
00:07:28,850 --> 00:07:32,187
I think there might be
a practical joke in the works.
156
00:07:32,228 --> 00:07:34,563
No, man, I don't think so.
157
00:07:34,605 --> 00:07:36,524
I think it's 'cause I graduated.
158
00:07:37,358 --> 00:07:38,776
Hyde, am I cool now?
159
00:07:38,818 --> 00:07:41,362
Well, you're cool
like margarine is butter.
160
00:07:42,780 --> 00:07:44,448
Close, but there's
a little aftertaste.
161
00:07:53,457 --> 00:07:56,669
♪ Women to the left of me
162
00:07:57,920 --> 00:08:00,048
♪ And women to the right
163
00:08:00,923 --> 00:08:02,842
♪ Ain't got no gun
164
00:08:02,884 --> 00:08:05,178
♪ Ain't got no knife
165
00:08:05,220 --> 00:08:07,429
♪ Don't you start no fight
166
00:08:09,974 --> 00:08:14,478
♪ 'Cause I'm T.N.T.,
I'm dynamite
167
00:08:14,520 --> 00:08:18,191
♪ T.N.T.
and I'll win the fight
168
00:08:18,233 --> 00:08:22,111
♪ T.N.T. I'm a power load
169
00:08:22,153 --> 00:08:26,407
♪ T.N.T. watch me explode
170
00:08:36,251 --> 00:08:39,795
♪ I'm dirty,
mean and mighty unclean ♪
171
00:08:41,256 --> 00:08:43,424
You're in the middle of
a Christmas Eve rock block
172
00:08:43,465 --> 00:08:46,510
on WFPP with me, Hot Donna.
173
00:08:49,764 --> 00:08:51,182
That was bacon.
174
00:08:53,017 --> 00:08:56,271
I recorded that
myself earlier today.
175
00:08:56,312 --> 00:08:59,440
Stay tuned for more Christmas
classics with me, Hot Donna.
176
00:09:02,443 --> 00:09:04,528
I'm sorry,
but that is just too cool.
177
00:09:09,533 --> 00:09:11,744
Okay, Mr Claus,
178
00:09:13,662 --> 00:09:15,998
let's hear your
best Santa laugh.
179
00:09:16,040 --> 00:09:17,333
Ho, ho.
180
00:09:19,085 --> 00:09:21,754
You left out a "ho", Red.
181
00:09:21,796 --> 00:09:24,465
It's three "ho's". Did you
even read the Santa manual?
182
00:09:25,549 --> 00:09:28,261
Okay, Red, I'm sure
you'll do fine.
183
00:09:28,303 --> 00:09:33,474
Just remember, Santa
is a cheerful, jolly fellow,
184
00:09:33,515 --> 00:09:35,517
who never calls
a child "dumbass".
185
00:09:37,895 --> 00:09:39,397
So, what do you
want for Christmas?
186
00:09:39,439 --> 00:09:41,023
I want a slinky.
187
00:09:41,065 --> 00:09:44,902
A slinky? Oh, you'll get
sick of a slinky in a day.
188
00:09:44,944 --> 00:09:47,238
I'm putting you
down for flash cards.
189
00:09:47,280 --> 00:09:49,782
Math, that's what you're
getting for Christmas.
190
00:09:49,824 --> 00:09:51,242
Next.
191
00:09:52,118 --> 00:09:53,702
I want a pony.
192
00:09:53,744 --> 00:09:55,037
Ponies die.
193
00:09:56,538 --> 00:09:58,791
What you need is
a good pair of boots.
194
00:10:00,293 --> 00:10:01,543
Go on, keep it moving.
195
00:10:02,544 --> 00:10:04,630
I want a flying car.
196
00:10:04,672 --> 00:10:07,216
I did, too,
when I was your age, kid.
197
00:10:07,258 --> 00:10:10,678
But then the future came
and took my dreams away.
198
00:10:12,554 --> 00:10:14,390
Just like it's gonna take yours.
199
00:10:16,392 --> 00:10:19,061
Okay, okay, little
girl, you know what?
200
00:10:19,103 --> 00:10:22,523
I bet, if you're extra good,
you'll get your flying car one day.
201
00:10:23,649 --> 00:10:25,818
Don't listen to her.
It's a lie.
202
00:10:25,860 --> 00:10:26,986
Bad Santa.
203
00:10:32,908 --> 00:10:36,162
Yep, life after
graduation sure is sweet.
204
00:10:37,746 --> 00:10:39,832
Some days I wake
up and I'm like,
205
00:10:39,874 --> 00:10:42,460
"Hey, I'm having
ice-cream for breakfast."
206
00:10:43,711 --> 00:10:46,130
And you know what? I do.
207
00:10:46,506 --> 00:10:48,549
Wow!
208
00:10:48,590 --> 00:10:51,386
So, what have you two
been up to since graduation?
209
00:10:51,427 --> 00:10:53,346
She talked to me.
What do I do?
210
00:10:54,514 --> 00:10:56,557
Yeah, I got
a librarian pregnant.
211
00:10:58,142 --> 00:10:59,560
Damn! Good answer!
212
00:11:01,145 --> 00:11:05,607
So, like, Eric, what are
your plans for the future?
213
00:11:05,649 --> 00:11:10,029
Well, I guess I'm just gonna
keep on keeping on, you know?
214
00:11:12,114 --> 00:11:13,949
I'm thinking
about buying a boat.
215
00:11:16,452 --> 00:11:20,081
Okay, we're back, and if
my boyfriend's listening,
216
00:11:20,122 --> 00:11:22,500
you're late and
I'm a little worried
217
00:11:22,542 --> 00:11:25,002
you're trapped in a
snowdrift or something.
218
00:11:25,044 --> 00:11:28,423
So, honey, if you're cold,
I'm with you, baby.
219
00:11:29,589 --> 00:11:31,259
Okay, so let's
take some requests.
220
00:11:31,300 --> 00:11:32,968
Hello, you're on the air.
221
00:11:33,010 --> 00:11:36,180
Hi, I'd like to dedicate He's
the Greatest Dancer by Sister Sledge
222
00:11:36,222 --> 00:11:39,183
to Eric Forman, the coolest
guy at the Christmas dance.
223
00:11:41,685 --> 00:11:44,646
What? He's still at the dance?
224
00:11:44,688 --> 00:11:46,982
Sorry, I have to go. He's
telling us about his boat.
225
00:11:49,235 --> 00:11:50,861
That sneaky bastard.
226
00:11:52,780 --> 00:11:55,533
That sneaky bastard,
Santa Claus, is on his way
227
00:11:55,575 --> 00:11:58,494
with a non-stop block
of classic Christmas tunes.
228
00:12:01,247 --> 00:12:05,585
And remember, you're listening
to WFPP, with me, Hot Donna.
229
00:12:08,628 --> 00:12:10,548
You hear that, Eric Forman?
230
00:12:10,590 --> 00:12:13,468
That's not bacon, that's your
ass when I get a hold of you.
231
00:12:25,605 --> 00:12:27,856
Hey, I brought you
something sweet to munch on.
232
00:12:27,898 --> 00:12:29,484
Oh! And some cookies.
233
00:12:31,569 --> 00:12:34,322
Man, I knew that was funny.
234
00:12:34,363 --> 00:12:37,074
Man, I can't stop
thinking about Brooke.
235
00:12:37,116 --> 00:12:40,077
I mean, both you and me know
that every girl in here wants me,
236
00:12:40,119 --> 00:12:43,623
except for the couple of
weirdoes that seem to want you,
237
00:12:43,663 --> 00:12:45,374
but I don't care
about any of them.
238
00:12:45,416 --> 00:12:47,811
Look, Kelso, are you sure you
don't just have a crush on Brooke
239
00:12:47,835 --> 00:12:50,129
because she's a librarian,
240
00:12:50,171 --> 00:12:53,549
and you've seen some
librarian layout in Playboy?
241
00:12:53,591 --> 00:12:55,675
Eric, I'm sure
that's part of it.
242
00:12:57,845 --> 00:13:00,348
Whatever.
I'm going to the library.
243
00:13:00,389 --> 00:13:02,350
Whoa, that felt weird to say.
244
00:13:04,977 --> 00:13:07,438
Steven, you don't look like
you're having a good time.
245
00:13:07,480 --> 00:13:09,148
I'm not.
246
00:13:09,190 --> 00:13:12,151
I know, but I need
you to act like you are.
247
00:13:12,193 --> 00:13:13,611
Just think about
stuff you enjoy,
248
00:13:13,653 --> 00:13:17,490
like shoplifting or dirty jeans.
249
00:13:17,532 --> 00:13:21,743
Jackie, how come you never told
me you were dating an older man?
250
00:13:21,785 --> 00:13:23,412
Well, I guess I was
just distracted
251
00:13:23,454 --> 00:13:25,665
by the life I lead
outside of cheerleading,
252
00:13:25,705 --> 00:13:27,667
where I do fun and
glamorous things,
253
00:13:27,707 --> 00:13:29,709
with my older,
mysterious boyfriend.
254
00:13:31,587 --> 00:13:33,589
That's true.
Why, just last week,
255
00:13:33,631 --> 00:13:35,299
we sat on the couch
and had a fight.
256
00:13:36,258 --> 00:13:37,510
I'm jealous.
257
00:13:40,262 --> 00:13:41,805
This dance sucks.
258
00:13:44,058 --> 00:13:47,019
None of the girls remember me.
They all think I'm a waiter.
259
00:13:48,728 --> 00:13:51,399
Hey, I got an idea how you can
get these girls' attention.
260
00:13:51,440 --> 00:13:54,694
Oh, boy, does it involve me
hiding in the girls' bathroom?
261
00:13:55,194 --> 00:13:56,404
No.
262
00:13:56,445 --> 00:13:58,197
Okay, we'll try your way.
263
00:14:03,202 --> 00:14:06,788
And that's what really
happened in Vietnam.
264
00:14:08,541 --> 00:14:10,167
I don't understand.
265
00:14:10,209 --> 00:14:12,587
Neither do I, kid.
Neither do I.
266
00:14:14,380 --> 00:14:17,174
Okay, little boy, time to
say goodbye to Santa.
267
00:14:18,300 --> 00:14:19,843
What's an ambush?
268
00:14:21,554 --> 00:14:23,847
It's a pretty bush
with yellow flowers.
269
00:14:26,767 --> 00:14:29,770
Kitty, I gotta tell you,
I'm good with kids.
270
00:14:30,938 --> 00:14:32,773
I really taught him something.
271
00:14:32,814 --> 00:14:36,694
You know, I think I'm beginning
to feel the Christmas spirit.
272
00:14:36,736 --> 00:14:38,237
Well, I'm glad, Red.
273
00:14:38,279 --> 00:14:40,072
But let's try
telling a Christmas story
274
00:14:40,114 --> 00:14:42,783
where nobody gets
caught in a firefight.
275
00:14:47,204 --> 00:14:48,956
Bob, what the hell
are you doing?
276
00:14:48,997 --> 00:14:51,500
You're depressing the kids.
I'm Santa now.
277
00:14:52,418 --> 00:14:54,920
Get out of my chair, Bob,
278
00:14:54,962 --> 00:14:57,548
or you're gonna get a
candy cane up your chimney.
279
00:14:58,924 --> 00:15:00,134
I'm not moving.
280
00:15:00,175 --> 00:15:03,220
Kitty, hold my silly red hat.
281
00:15:06,766 --> 00:15:09,310
You're right, I really am funny.
282
00:15:14,815 --> 00:15:17,359
What do you think you're
doing? Eric, you never showed up.
283
00:15:17,401 --> 00:15:19,027
I was worried about you.
284
00:15:19,069 --> 00:15:21,322
Well, I'm sorry, I guess
I lost track of time.
285
00:15:21,363 --> 00:15:23,824
Maybe it's because
I am a god to these people.
286
00:15:24,617 --> 00:15:26,994
Donna, they like this shirt.
287
00:15:27,035 --> 00:15:28,829
This is a horrible shirt.
288
00:15:30,038 --> 00:15:31,582
I gave you that shirt.
289
00:15:33,334 --> 00:15:36,420
I know. I love this shirt.
290
00:15:36,462 --> 00:15:39,423
Eric, I can't believe you let
yourself get a swelled head
291
00:15:39,465 --> 00:15:41,735
just because a couple of
high-school kids think you're cool.
292
00:15:41,759 --> 00:15:44,804
Excuse me, aren't you Hot Donna?
293
00:15:44,845 --> 00:15:47,181
You were so awesome
on the radio today.
294
00:15:47,222 --> 00:15:48,516
You really think?
295
00:15:51,477 --> 00:15:53,479
Wait, what's going on?
296
00:15:53,521 --> 00:15:54,855
I think we're in for a treat.
297
00:16:11,079 --> 00:16:15,876
♪ I'll have a blue Christmas ♪
298
00:16:25,427 --> 00:16:27,346
Nice decorations.
299
00:16:27,388 --> 00:16:30,224
I see you're using one
of the better-tasting glues.
300
00:16:32,560 --> 00:16:34,186
What are you doing here?
301
00:16:34,228 --> 00:16:36,397
Oh, I just thought,
instead of having
302
00:16:36,438 --> 00:16:38,566
a fun Christmas
Eve somewhere else,
303
00:16:38,607 --> 00:16:41,360
I'd rather have
a boring one here with you.
304
00:16:42,695 --> 00:16:45,781
But we could have some fun.
305
00:16:46,782 --> 00:16:48,992
Michael, I've told you before,
306
00:16:49,034 --> 00:16:50,679
just because you come
to the library after hours,
307
00:16:50,703 --> 00:16:53,080
does not mean I'm gonna
walk around topless.
308
00:16:54,248 --> 00:16:55,708
But it's Christmas.
309
00:16:59,127 --> 00:17:02,047
Oh, here let me help you
with the decorations.
310
00:17:02,089 --> 00:17:05,300
Pregnant women should not
be standing on their tiptoes,
311
00:17:05,342 --> 00:17:07,928
'cause the baby will
come out all cross-eyed.
312
00:17:09,889 --> 00:17:12,349
Listen, if you think you're
gonna get me interested in you
313
00:17:12,391 --> 00:17:14,810
by being cute and
making me laugh...
314
00:17:17,354 --> 00:17:19,398
Well, it's probably gonna work.
315
00:17:20,399 --> 00:17:22,025
But if you screw this up,
316
00:17:22,067 --> 00:17:25,613
I am gonna ruin your credit with
thousands of dollars in library fines.
317
00:17:26,238 --> 00:17:27,656
Fair enough.
318
00:17:27,698 --> 00:17:31,368
Well, what say we seal
this newfound friendship
319
00:17:31,410 --> 00:17:33,871
with a round of topless
ornament hanging?
320
00:17:35,289 --> 00:17:37,958
Okay, fine!
Whatever you wanna do.
321
00:17:38,667 --> 00:17:39,960
Topless.
322
00:17:45,215 --> 00:17:48,427
This mall is only big
enough for one Santa, Bob.
323
00:17:48,469 --> 00:17:51,430
Tell you what, you name
five reindeer and I'll step down.
324
00:17:51,472 --> 00:17:54,642
I can name five toes that
are gonna be in your ass.
325
00:17:54,683 --> 00:17:56,811
Oh, for goodness' sake!
326
00:17:56,852 --> 00:17:59,980
Why don't we stop calling it
Christmas and call it "Assmas"?
327
00:18:02,608 --> 00:18:04,526
Fine, I'll go.
328
00:18:04,568 --> 00:18:08,238
I only got worked up because
Joanne's gone, Donna's working.
329
00:18:08,280 --> 00:18:11,659
The only people I have at home
are my two friends, Egg and Nog.
330
00:18:13,494 --> 00:18:15,245
All right, fine.
331
00:18:15,287 --> 00:18:17,623
You wanna be Santa, go ahead.
332
00:18:17,665 --> 00:18:18,999
Thanks, Red.
333
00:18:19,040 --> 00:18:20,626
Yeah, it's all for the best.
334
00:18:20,668 --> 00:18:24,922
I've already eaten about two
pounds of fake beard as it is.
335
00:18:24,964 --> 00:18:28,676
There he is. Santa's the one who
told me that communists hate God.
336
00:18:32,721 --> 00:18:34,097
Gotta go, Santa.
337
00:18:36,141 --> 00:18:39,436
Merry Christmas, Bob.
Mrs Claus needs a drink.
338
00:18:42,606 --> 00:18:45,442
And then I push a button,
and it sounds like bacon.
339
00:18:47,820 --> 00:18:50,990
This is so awesome.
We're like a celebrity couple.
340
00:18:52,574 --> 00:18:54,075
It's intoxicating.
341
00:18:54,117 --> 00:18:55,995
Donna, it is a heady brew.
342
00:18:57,371 --> 00:19:01,583
Hey, let's go drink beer
in front of some sophomores.
343
00:19:01,625 --> 00:19:04,795
Jackie, in light of you showing
up tonight with your boyfriend,
344
00:19:04,837 --> 00:19:07,631
who, by the way, is
totally cool and a fox...
345
00:19:07,673 --> 00:19:09,049
Big newsflash there.
346
00:19:11,218 --> 00:19:14,638
...I'd like to invite you
to rejoin the cheer squad.
347
00:19:14,680 --> 00:19:16,306
Really?
Yeah.
348
00:19:21,729 --> 00:19:23,438
Huh.
349
00:19:23,480 --> 00:19:25,941
You know, I don't think I wanna
be a cheerleader anymore.
350
00:19:25,983 --> 00:19:27,776
But we hugged and jumped.
351
00:19:29,945 --> 00:19:32,155
Well, I'm gonna have to
take back that hug and jump
352
00:19:32,197 --> 00:19:33,365
with a pout and a shrug.
353
00:19:37,995 --> 00:19:40,956
Are you telling me I came
to this hellhole for nothing?
354
00:19:40,998 --> 00:19:43,375
No, not for nothing, Steven.
355
00:19:43,417 --> 00:19:45,920
I realize these girls
aren't my friends anymore.
356
00:19:45,961 --> 00:19:47,755
I learned something
about myself.
357
00:19:47,796 --> 00:19:49,381
Oh, well, isn't that...
358
00:19:52,300 --> 00:19:56,597
Okay, well, if it makes you feel
any better, I get to keep the uniform.
359
00:19:56,638 --> 00:19:58,098
Yeah, that helps.
Yeah.
360
00:20:00,935 --> 00:20:03,353
You set me up! "Sing a
song, they'll all love you."
361
00:20:03,395 --> 00:20:05,480
Well, I'm gonna spend
Christmas in a locker.
362
00:20:52,987 --> 00:20:54,738
Oh, crap, I'm still on the air!
363
00:21:10,629 --> 00:21:12,172
Jigsaw puzzle.
364
00:21:16,010 --> 00:21:17,177
Baseball glove.
365
00:21:20,430 --> 00:21:21,849
Barbie doll tea set.
366
00:21:22,891 --> 00:21:24,101
Wow, you're good at this.
367
00:21:24,143 --> 00:21:25,936
Yeah, I've had
a little practice.
368
00:21:25,978 --> 00:21:27,187
Ant farm.
369
00:21:31,775 --> 00:21:33,193
It's a Lone Ranger cap gun set.
370
00:21:33,217 --> 00:21:35,217
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