Original subtitles

4 - 4 tie in the bottom of the 9th. 2 on, 2 out, and a 3 and 2 count on Jack Elliot.

who hit only .235 during the regular season.

Shawn, this is really a tough spot for Elliot to be in.

Anytime you come off as hard a year as he had,

seems like every little strike-out just comes back to haunt you at a moment like this.

- C'mon Jack! Park it!

Strike three!

4th ball for strike 3. That'll even up the count at 3 and 3.

Jack! C'mon it's a long season. Let's go!

Huh?

Get in there and take another hack!

It looks like Elliot's really in a hole now.

Yeah, you know this is the thing that Elliot really didn't want,

to fall behind in a count like this.

Anytime you get that third strike on you gets awfully tough to battle back.

Strike four!

Strike four. And that one was a dandy. He is really struggling out there.

Jack!

Get in here and hit!

Now!

Let's go!

- Stay in there Jack!

- You the man Jack, you the man!

Five!

Wow. Another forkball for strike five.

Strike Six! How much longer I can watch this? Does the league have a ruling on mercy killing?

Major league, baby.

Major league hangover coming down.

What did we drink, like a gazillion brews?

Big day for ya, huh, buddy? First time in the show?

We're watchin' it over with ya.

You know how you feel like you're nervous. Thinking about how you are gonna do. You'll do alright.

Thinking every pitch has to be the right one,

or else it's back down to the banana league,

and your family would be all ashamed and the pretty señoritas,

they'd just be gigglin' at ya.

And the kids that used to worship you, now they just make goat noises and run away.

You can't be thinking about that Manuel. What ya gotta remember now, Manuel, look at me.

Manuel, look at me.

Baseball is a game, and games are supposed to be fun.

- Uh oh! Somebody call the fire department!

(Batter hits ball hard)

- Damn... - What is that 500 feet?

- Nah, it's 480 tops. - Who is he?

- That's that rookie first baseman, Davis. - Over the palm tree.

Ah, don't worry about it, Jack. The guy's got an obvious weakness.

What's that?

Kryptonite.

Anybody can pull the ball...

...at batting practice.

- Jack!

Hey! Doc!

- Hey, Doc. Mornin', good to see ya! - I've got a little problem, Jack.

What?

Well... they've pulled your lawnmower commercial. The whole campaign's bye-bye. Image problem.

Why?

I look good sittin' on that tractor!

Why?

Hello?

- Hey don't do that! Now, stop that! - Anybody home?

Two weeks ago, you were all over the papers, getting nailed doing a hundred and twenty...

4 A.M., two broads...

All right, OK.

Kinda made you waving from your Alfy a freakin' joke, Jack.

- Hey, Jack!

You came all the way out here to tell me that?

- Hey, Elliot, how about an autograph?

No. I'm out to see my new client.

- Jack.

- Jack.

- Jack. - What, Trey?

Skip wants to see you.

Have a seat pal.

That's OK.

Now Elliot, you know I think the goddamn of you,

and you know there is no one in the whole goddamn world I'd rather see out there than the old goddamn number 48.

Skip, c'mon. I mean, I know I haven't exactly been raking the ball lately, but gimme a couple weeks.

Jesus Christ, Elliot, can I finish a sentence in my own goddamn office?

Hey, OK.

This Davis kid is the real thing. The way it's looking--

Aw, c'mon.

Is that what this is all about?

I mean he's a goddamn rookie for Christ's sake. You gonna be impressed with a 500-foot home run?

Yeah.

So, what are you saying?

You gonna play me behind this kid?

We wouldn't do that to you.

The word's come down, Jack.

See who will pick up his contract. Line them up. Let Jack make his trade.

I don't believe this. I'm a World Series MVP.

That was four years ago, Jack.

You hit .235 last season.

- Last season!?

I led this club in 9th inning doubles in the month of August.

- Screw it man, I don't wanna play where I'm not wanted.

What are my choices?

- I'm ready.

There aren't exactly... choices, Jack.

We only had one taker, so we... took.

We called everyone, Jack.

- Canada. - No, not Canada! - It goes without saying

I ain't paying those taxes!

It's not Canada.

Not Cleveland...

No! Say it's not Cleveland!

Not Cleveland.

We got a call... from a manager in...

What?

...Japan.

Japan?

Yes, the uh... Chu-chey? Chu?

- Forget it! - Chunichi.

No. I'm a major leaguer!

There's no way I'm gonna play in Japan!

If you wanna play this season, Jack, you're a Chunichi Dragon.

A what?

A Chunichi Dragon.

P.A.: Welcome to Nagoya International Airport.

Welcome, Jack Elliot.

I am Yoji Nishimura.

Arriving refreshed?

Arriving drunk and dead tired.

Excellent! Places to go, people to meet!

Mr. Nakamura, president of the Chunichi company.

Hi.

Mr. Nikawa, vice president.

Not in back pocket. It's a major insult, like you are sitting on their identity.

- Sorry. - Mr. Sato, treasurer.

Hi.

You give them business card in return, please.

I don't have a-- Oh, wait.

Mr. Yamada, general manager.

Hi.

Mr. Takahashi, he's in publicity.

Hi.

Here ya go.

Collect 'em, trade 'em. Show 'em to your friends.

Here you go, and no sitting on my face!

My number's 48. Always 48.

Carefully computed, now it's 54.

- What do you mean computed? - Number of home runs you're expected to hit.

He wants to know what was your main reason for coming to Japan?

Let's just say I had a yen to play here.

She wants to know what do you think of our country?

Already? Uh...

The airport's nice... uh... I guess.

and there's lots of little people walking, talking, very fast.

Japan what you expected?

Where's all the temples and rice paddies? That stuff.

This is city.

Yeah, it looks like Cleveland, only I can't read the signs.

Come in, come in.

- We're gonna get that fixed, aren't we, Yoj? - Hai.

Home.

Easy to keep clean, just hose her down once a week.

It's beautiful apartment for Japan.

30 bucks a night, free cable,

check-out time: 11 A.M.

Sorry. You don't like?

Nah, you did good kid.

CNN Sports tonight is big league baseball. Our feature story centers around rookie phenom Ricky Davis of the New York Yankees,

who in his first game went 4 for 5 with 3 home runs and six RBIs. All the scores--

Tell me this isn't it.

This isn't it.

You're the boss, but is it?

Elliot-san!

- Take your shoes off, man!

They get upset if you don't take off your shoes.

- Yeah. - Sorry.

It'd be a shame to track any carpet on the mildew.

This way, please.

Hey, Max Dubois. Around here they call me Hammer. Don't ask me why.

Jack Elliot.

Yeah, I know who you are man I've been in Japan, not dead.

Hanging Toshi, hanging.

Jack.

Hey, fine bunch of big swinging dicks we've got here.

Well, they'll warm up after a season or two.

Well, I don't plan to be here that long.

That's what I said going on five years ago.

Want some ocha?

Huh?

It's Japanese tea.

Now let me get this straight. You're an American, right?

Over here, I'm gaijin, same as you.

Gaijin?

It's like being a black guy back home

only there's less of us.

Gotcha.

(commotion)

Mmm

What the hell is that?

It's your first beat, baby.

- I'll see ya out there.

Elliot-san this is Uchiyama-san your manager.

(speaks Japanese) Welcome to Dragons.

Sorry.

Where ya hittin' me, boss?

That will be decided after determining your skill in Japanese baseball.

Well, it's got a stick and a ball and a fence, right?

It has many elements, all of which must work in harmony.

Also must work on physical condition.

Also must shave moustache.

Tell him, this is the way he hired me at...

and if my moustache gets in the way of my swing...

I'll shave it.

Our manager Uchiyama-san was Rookie of the Year in 1959,

MVP in '61, '62 and '63 and '69.

Holds the record for most consecutive home run games in the history of the sport.

7 in '71.

He is very proud of that. We're all proud of that.

He's the most revered manager in all of Japan.

Yes, but he needs Captain Jack to bring home the pennant Yoj-ster.

Let us not forget that.

Thank you, thank you!

Thank you.

Any of you guys speak Americano?

Jack Elliot here, bringing you the best in major league thrills for the fellas and free moustache rides for the ladies.

I have seen free moustache rides offered on T-Shirts in America.

Always by guys you would not want to ride with.

Sorry.

Are you free tonight for dinner?

Did I miss something here?

What's the catch?

No catch. We have business to discuss.

Where and when?

I'll pick you up at your apartment. 9 o'clock.

Uh, my apartment... What, you know where I live?

OK, OK!

What is this?

Practice.

For what? Russian dance contests?

- Hey hey! No slack, dude!

Hey hey!

Easy, boys, easy!

Uchiyama-san wants to know why you are not working with the team.

Oh, well, you tell him I got a bad wheel.

Perhaps your wheel get stronger with work.

You tell the chief that I've got my own exercises.

He said Dragons must all work together for harmony...

and if you cannot do team exercises, our team will do yours.

Hai.

Hats off!

OK, ready?

Face, stretch!

Moon...

exercise.

Aw, man, I don't believe this.

Turn around.

OK, face front.

Right foot, in.

Right foot, out.

Right foot, in.

Shake it all about.

Do the hokey pokey! Turn yourself around!

That's what it's all about.

This is crazy Max.

We're not athletes, we're baseball players.

Batting practice...

...finally.

- All yours, babe.

Yo.

I could piss over that fence

Yeah, well don't.

Don't spit on the field, either. It's considered sacred.

At least, they got that right.

Perhaps weight more on the front foot and more top hand, he says.

Thanks a lot.

You have a hole in your swing, he says.

Ball can't seem to find it.

What's going on here, Max?

Probably wants to see if you are as good with your bat as you are with your mouth.

Man...

What the hell was that?

Shuuto.

What the hell is a "shuuto"?

The great equalizer.

(Note: shuuto = similar to a reverse slider)

Great.

Fine.

Shit!

Let's go.

- Can't do that here, slugger.

He showed me up.

You don't know the difference, Max. You've been here too long.

Shoes, dude.

Look man, I have to deal with it, you gotta deal with it.

What the hell is that?

Rita-san. Visage of death.

You should put equipment away, then sit down please.

- Sorry Jack-san. - I don't believe this.

What's next?

Come here to tell me how to take a crap?

Hey Max!

- Yeah?

Need someone to tell me how to take a crap.

Aw, man...

What?

First you wash, then you bathe.

I hate this place.

- Hammer! - What's up? - How are you doing, man?

It's all right. Everybody, here he is, Jack Elliot.

Well, welcome to the little league, Meat.

Hey Rye. How are you doing? You still spiking guys on the pick off?

Don't worry none about that, Meat. We're all on the same team here, right boys?

That's right.

- Absolutely. Allen Evan. - Welcome aboard. Good to see ya, man.

- Lyle Massi. - Nice to meet you, Jackson.

- Billy Stevens, Jack. Used to be with the Orioles. - Sure Billy. How's it going?

Well, once you get used to sleeping in shoe boxes and chasing your food

around the table, it's uh, pretty much a nightmare over here, huh?

- Uh-huh, true story. - Hey, check it out guys. Check it out!

- Our favorite video! - Hey, hey, Japanese rocket scientists at work!

On behalf of The Animal, Hammer, Fly-by, Supersonic and the Hit-Man...

Welcome to Japan, Mr. Base-a-ball.

Mr. What?

Mr. Baseball! Right here, baby.

- Hey. - That's right!

- Read it to them, Rye. - Yeah.

When asked his impression of his new manager, Elliot replied, "I have much to learn from Uchiyama-san..."

"...and I'll gladly strive to shed all my old disgusting ways of laziness and become my best under his guidance."

Very harmonious of you, Meat.

Yoji.

Yoji would be your assigned interpreter? Am I right?

That's right.

Well, let us tell you a few things about your new neighbors over here, Jack.

First you got your gaijin strike zone. Roughly the size of a Buick

and I hope you didn't bring your dick with you.

You rang, Mr. Baseball?

I rang, Mr. Wise-Ass!

What? What? What? What?

I don't understand.

Understand this.

Please, you see, all wisecrack making, make you seem disrespectful.

I just do this for you to save face. Besides, press writes their own story anyway.

I'll deal with the press...

and I'll take care of my own face. You just translate what comes out of it. You got me?

Hai.

Hai?

"Hai" as in "Yes"?

or "Hai" as in, "I understand but I'm not gonna do a goddamn thing about it"?

That's right, Yoj. Gaijin catching on!

Hai... Yes.

Be right down!

You know her?

Hai. Yes.

What are my chances?

- Many torrents. - Speak English, Yoji.

Difficulties surround her.

Well that's the story of my life. Why should Japan be any different?

What kind of business did you think I meant, Mr. Elliot?

Well, I wasn't sure.

Funny business?

Monkey business?

Hey, I'm new here, huh? Give me a break, will ya?

No, please, tell me.

You thought I was trying to get through your pants?

"In" my pants?

"In your pants". Hai

Well, where I come from, if a pretty girl...

smiles at you from the stands and offers to buy you dinner...

usually... that means... that, you know, she's, um...

Ready for party action?

Possibly.

I'm sorry for the misunderstanding. I hope you are not disappointed.

No.

No. Not a bit.

Not a bit, Mr. Elliot?

Well, maybe a little bit.

Call me Jack.

OK. Jack.

Hirako.

No, Hiroko.

Hi-ro-ko.

Oh, in Japan, never pour your own drink.

Oh.

I hope you don't mind. I took the liberty of ordering for both of us.

Delicious Japanese dish.

Oh, OK but uh, listen no offense, I don't eat bait.

Bait?

Yeah, you know, uh, what do you guys call it? You know raw fish, stuff like that I... don't...

Hey!

Sorry! Little joke.

French restaurant.

Japanese beef. The best you'll ever eat.

Ahhh...

I bet you've never been to Kansas City?

No...

...just New York.

I studied at Parsons School of Design.

Mmm?

Someday, I hope to return there with my work.

This is good!

Kobe beef. Fed with beer, massaged by hand.

Oh, I should have signed up to be a cow here, instead of a ball player.

This is really good. This is better than Kansas City.

And you know something...

I gotta admit I didn't want to eat Japanese.

This is very Japanese.

Japan takes the best from all over the world and makes it her own.

Hmm.

You have done commercials before, haven't you?

Yes, of course I have.

Doing commercials in Japan is no different.

Except I got no choice!? You gotta be kidding.

I am afraid not. Read your contract.

The Dragons can license me out for endorsements and I got no say in it?

- You are property of the team. - I'm a player on the team. Big difference.

It's in your contract. Believe me.

Don't worry. I'll see to it that you appear in a dignified and normal way.

That's not the point.

Dragons hire you for your skill. But also for image of team.

Yea, well I'm a baseball player, not a goddamn mascot.

Don't look at it that way

What? Japan takes the best from all over the world and makes it her own? Well, not this one, honey.

- Jack, please. - Hey, what's a couple of cocktails cost around here? About 50 billion of these things? That oughta cover it.

- Don't go. - Sorry.

Business concluded.

Where do I live?

Welcome to pre-game warm up. Let's go!

Hey!

Looking good Max! Get down!

Shake that thing, white boy!

Safe!

Actual baseball is actually occurring.

Jack, you're on.

Same to you.

Ouu, major leaguer!

You got that right.

You big, you can hit c'mon!

Fine.

What the--!?

What the hell's he doing? Coulda given us the lead!

Well, better get used to it. Why would he wanna risk it? Lose face.

With a puss like his, what's he afraid of?

Yeah, by the way, we're doing a pick-off move...

Now!

Mista Base-a- ball too fast!

Thanks.

Got any naked pictures of your wife?

Wanna see some?

Never mind.

Outta there!

- Toshi! - Yeah?

Hey what the hell you doing? You gotta get dirty. You gotta break that thing up.

- Easy, easy, Jack, easy!

- It's not his fault.

- It's disrespectful to take a guy out with a slide.

That's horseshit, man.

Sorry kid, we'll get 'em next inning.

Uh, there ain't gonna be a next inning.

What are you talking about? It's 4 - 4.

No game can continue after 15 innings.

So, when do we make it up?

I'm sorry, babe, it's over.

It's 4 - 4! Ball game can't end in a goddamn tie!

- C'mon, man, it's over. Let's go.

What are we doing here, Max?

I know what I'm doing here. What are you doing here?

I just keep thinking someone's gonna see what I'm doing over here and give me a shot in the bigs.

Please don't be fooled by your good game. You still have a hole in your swing.

Please don't be fooled by thinking this is baseball!

Don't play to win...

After an eleven-game road trip in which he hit successfully in ten of the games,

and brought in the winning run in 5 of the games,

while dazzling the fans with his skill and style in the field,

...exemplified by a spectacular grab over hard line drive to shut the door against the Swallows Thursday night,

...add it all up, Jack Elliot truly is proving to be Mr. Baseball.

- Some write-up, ne? - Yeah.

You're not pleased.

No, no, I'm pleased.

Just wishing it was in the New York daily news.

Big hit! Happy body!

- Cut!

What!? Now what?

- Missed your mark again. - What?

Well, tell him to move the mark to where I'm standing.

It doesn't work that way.

Hey, this is not my idea. I don't wanna be here.

Everyone is well aware of that.

And this is your idea of dignified and noble.

It is.

Says you. Hey pal, one more take and I'm outta here!

You're outta here when we get the shot, Jack!

Push comes to shove, y'know, you're like all the rest of 'em.

How's that?

Japanese way. Shut up and take it.

Jack's way: 'Me. Me. Me'. Sometimes acceptance and cooperation are strengths, also.

Giants doesn't beat us.

Are you sleeping in the Giants games?

Did I miss something here?

Don't mess with him today, Jack.

Giants are like the national team around here. They almost always kick the shit out of us.

You are disgracing the Dragons' uniform.

Lower than the lowliest dogs.

- Lower than the lowliest dogs? - Hai.

Wow! That's low.

Quiet!

Nice speech, Coach.

Gave me goose bumps.

Get in there, buddy.

- Shuuto? - Hai, shuuto.

No problem.

Strike!

C'mon Igi.

This ain't no college ball.

- You got lucky Billy. - But not in this league, man. Half these guys gift wrap it for you.

Oh no...

Man.

Igi doesn't dive so he pulls Itori.

Don't look for logic here, man. It's the Giants.

C'mon boys.

We're beating ourselves here.

We need a little fire.

We need a little kamikaze.

A little banzai! Wake up in here!

(Loud baseball hit)

Yes!

See...? It ain't over 'til the fat lady sings.

Yes, Max! Very nice.

Time.

Did I read that sign right?

He must move runner. Get him in a position to tie.

You don't pay me to bunt.

- What?

What!?

I suggest you bunt.

I suggest you bunt!

Man...

Shuuto.

Shit!

Man... a month ago I was a New York Yankee and here I am getting my balls busted in Japanese.

Save it, man, you're gonna need it.

Because as of tonight, all over Japan, they're practicing Shuutos.

Got me?

...just a bad manager.

Oh, just kidding chief. You're a dream come true.

It has been decided that you are fined 50,000 yen for disobeying your manager on the field.

Also, 10,000 for disrespect the equipment.

He wants to know what the second one is for.

That's for the next time.

He wonders when the next time will be.

Uchiyama-san is reminded, you are hitting off the front foot and your top hand must come over more.

Jack-san, Jack-san, you shouldn't be smoking.

Aren't you gonna translate the sports page for me?

You love doing that.

It's mostly about your srump. (slump).

I'm not in a srump.

Just having a few slow days.

See, hitting is like the tides. There's high tide, there's low tide. Then, there's high tide again.

Low tide almost two weeks long.

Starting to stink-up your harbor.

I'm not in a goddamn slump.

I hate this place.

Yeah?

- Hello, Doc.

- Greetings from Japan

Jack?

Yeah, it's me.

So, how are things back home?

Just great, Jack.

Hey, hell of a connection. You sound like you are right down the street.

Ohh, I wish I was, Doc.

Listen, you gotta get me outta here.

- Sorry, buddy, no can do,

- not right now anyway,

not while you're hitting down around .200, Jack.

in Japan, Jack!

C'mon, Doc.

Jack, don't you think I would have you here if I could?

Yeah, I hear ya.

So, how's your new client, Doc?

C'mon, Jack, I know you've been following his stats.

- Yeah, well, it won't last.

Bet he doesn't have the endorsements I used to have.

- No, Jack, he doesn't.

What's he have, Doc?

Spike Lee is shooting his Nike commercial.

I'll see ya, Jack. (disconnects)

Thanks... Doc.

Big hit! Happy body!

- I saw your commercial. It's, uh... interesting.

This is for purified. Washing your hands.

Look, I'm sorry for the way that I acted.

Well,

it wasn't your cup of coffee to begin with.

Tea.

- It's cup of tea.

Hai, tea.

Temple?

Shrine.

Where's all those little, bald guys with sheets and stuff?

- That's temple. - Oh.

Shrine, you make offering and pray.

Throwing money, ring the bell, to wake up the god.

Clap twice,

close my eyes.

- Go ahead. - Oh.

Clap twice.

Close your eyes.

Right, sorry.

I have heard many come-on lines in my time.

But, "Hiroko, take me to a temple" is new one.

- That's not a line

I thought this... zen deal might do me some good y'know kinda...

groove on all those rocks and gardens,

maybe shed a little light on what's wrong with my swing.

The temple I had in mind is farther on.

If you want to have a wise brain...

draw it here.

Here... to here.

If you want to have a big, wide heart, draw it here.

OK, I'm good.

So quickly?

I had a vision of what I need.

And... that is?

Well... it was kind of fuzzy, at first,

but then it was like a ray of light that kinda shone down on it.

Yes?

It was the biggest, coldest beer I've ever seen.

Always making jokes.

Hey, I came, I saw, I gave it a whirl.

It is not enough just to show up.

I thought it was 90% of life just to show up.

You must accept and welcome and try before you can learn.

Yes, dear.

Do not make fun of me.

Hey, I'm sorry!

I am not like hostess, here to tell you how great you are.

And I am not Japanese man expecting you to, so cool your jets, OK?

What?

Ok...

Four things that I accept about myself:

Problems with authority, the attention span of a gnat, a bad right knee...

...and trouble understanding women.

Acceptance is only the first step.

OK... OK.

You had a vision of a beer?

Hai.

That was great.

Thanks.

You're welcome.

Would you like to come up for some... tea?

- Tea? - Yeah.

No, thank you.

Well...

OK.

But, another beer...

Yes, please.

Where did you go?

I have prepared a bath for you.

I'm really not much of a bath guy.

Please.

OK.

No peeking.

Aaah.

Whoa! Ha-hello, it's a little hot.

- Accept.

Accept. Yeah, yeah.

Accept.

- Jack, it's OK?

What? Are you coming in?

I'm not peeking.

Uh, Hiroko.

Tell me... what is your deepest fear?

We will wash it away.

My deepest fear?

Yes.

Well, we were at Boston,

We're down 3 to 1 and I'm... walking up to the plate y'know. There's two men on.

And somebody yells, "Hey, Jack. C'mon. Park it!"

and, I heard him...

and I'm ready, y'know, I'm just standing there...

staring at my bat like I do y'know...

and I remember... thinking,

I remember at that exact moment,

I'm thinking...

Don't miss.

Just don't miss.

My whole life...

I wanted to hit the ball, then all of a sudden I'm trying not to miss.

You...

will...

hit.

I'm a baseball player.

I've been a baseball player all my life.

Even before I was a baseball player, I was a baseball player.

I don't think I could be anything else.

Say it:

I...

will...

hit.

I will hit.

Can I say something else?

Um... listen Hiroko, I mean...

I know this is some kind of very... innocent, uhh, very Japanese thing that-that we're doing here, but...

Y'know, I'm still a gaijin, and...

and one that hasn't exactly...

been with a woman in a while...

and... I'm a little, you know...

You know what I mean?

Accept it.

I will hit. I will hit.

I will hit.

Nuts!

Hey, Yoji!

I could use a little help here.

Calling a goddamn ball in here? That ball was shining my shoes.

Strike!

Can you take it easy man? I told you about this shit. C'mon, babe.

C'mon!

Take a risk, damn it!

Safe!? Safe!?

My foot was on the bag. It was glued to the goddamn bag.

Right there, right there!

Well, mayb-- Alright, Maybe, there.

Fine. Deal with the chief.

Jack-san, shut your big mouth

You are humiliating the team.

Just play your position and stop all the bullshit right now! Please!

Y'know, Muki...

Mukai.

Mukai, yeah, I'm sorry, uh, what I'm thinking here is one of the duties of a captain,

and you're a, you're a fine one, don't get me wrong.

One of the things a captain does is find little ways to get the team y'know... up.

Laughing, get the boys' minds off their trouble and let them know it's OK to loosen up a little.

Aaah!

Baseball is a game...

and games are supposed to be fun.

- No, Jack, no!

- He tipped his hat! He tipped his hat!

- No! Jack!

- Jack, damn it. He tipped his hat. That means he didn't mean it.

I don't care if he ate his goddamn hat. I've had it.

Jack-san, no!

Bullshit!

- I'm sick and tired of your shit. Haven't you heard a word I've said? You are really pissing me off now.

Now, just take your base and get with the program!

You too, huh, Max?

You know the one thing I didn't miss about playing in the States?

Was putting up with hotshots like you.

Now I don't even have that anymore!

Damn it!

Taking my base, Chief. Taking my base.

Look, I didn't see him tip his goddamn hat, all right?

Go get 'em, kid.

(phone rings)

The drummer is doing fine without your assistance.

Well, I gotta do something, you don't seem to want to talk to me.

We are almost there.

Does your father know that we've been... doing it?

I don't discuss my sex life with him. No...

but... I'm a big girl. I can do what I want.

Well, Hiroko, in my experience,

all girls are always little girls to their fathers.

And dads have this very special attitude that they lay on the guy

that is doing it to their little girl,

and I bet that that's sort of an international attitude.

I hope the two of you will find other things to discuss.

Well, y'know I'm just having so much fun already.

We are here.

They love me already, I can tell.

What?

Accept.

I am. I am.

They're fabulous. Especially granddad. What a card!

Uh-oh...

That's great, Hiroko, just great...

Accept.

No, I don't accept!

What the hell were you thinking of?

I was thinking of you.

You were thinking of me?

Then why the hell didn't you tell me your dad was the Chief?

Not the Chief.

- We are not at the ball park.

Call me Uchiyama, please.

Whoa.

You sly guy!

- Uchiyama, please.

You've been holding out all this time.

I am the Japanese manager of a Japanese baseball team that you agreed to play for.

It is your duty to learn my ways. Not the other way around.

Different language. Same attitude. Let's go.

We can't!

We can't. It would be a big insult to leave.

The big insult here is the way you set me up.

My grandmother has gone to a lot of trouble to prepare a traditional meal.

Hiroko is right...

for the first time today.

- I'm asking you...

Please...

- Please come in.

- (all slurping noisily)

(slurping continues)

It's polite.

It's OK.

(slurps long and loudly)

Jack.

Aw... man.

(all scream)

What?

Bad luck.

What did he say?

He says, "You have a hole in your swing."

Like father, like son, huh?

Everyone can see it but you.

- And you, Jack!

Grow up!

Uh... Hiroko.

- Wait. - Don't bother. - Wait!

Mr. Elliot. There is no way you are leaving here with her today.

What?

I know my daughter.

She had this all planned. Right down to her exit.

Man, that's some piece of work you raised.

Her mother raised her. Like mother, like daughter.

Please, let's go outside. OK?

- Situation is this. You will not be playing baseball anywhere... and I will not be managing...

...unless you can start hitting again.

They're gonna fire you.

- Yes. - Why?

You were my choice and so my responsibility, and I failed to control you.

I thought I was everybody's choice.

Management wanted Pete, Clifton, or Boston.

No shit...?

Why'd you want me?

I looked at the tapes.

Clifton is steady, but he will never get back his top game.

You were sloppy, but you had a big season left in you.

At least, I thought so.

Was I right?

Hey, tapes don't lie.

You wanna find out?

Yes.

OK.

Must be my way...

...or the highway.

(knocking at front door)

OK, I'm ready.

Push yourself!

- C'mon, c'mon push yourself! C'mon, c'mon!

- You can do it! You gotta pick it up!

C'mon, C'mon! Hundred? OK.

Face stretch now?

No joking.

- No joking. Hai.

What about hitting?

Not ready to hit, yet.

Are you OK?

- Are you OK? - Can give me a hand here...

Sorry! I didn't know my own strength!

You all right?

Forgot my strength, too.

(clock alarm)

Hey! Ready Chief!

- C'mon, c'mon, come on!

You look thirsty, Chief.

What do you say I buy you a beer?

Later. Again!

You're no fun, anymore.

- C'mon, c'mon, c'mon! Pick it up! Pick it up!

Harder! Harder, Jack!

I'll be damned.

- Get your ass in gear!

He speaks English

Shit.

Twenty. That's enough. Time for rest.

What do you think I am? A pussy?

Pussy?

Time for nice massage.

Hey, Chief y'know, the hot bath was really enough. Honest.

Marika-san?

You kidders.

(Jack screams) - Aaaaagh!

- Aagh!

What about hitting?

- You're not ready to hit yet!

- I don't want to be in a fight.

And this...

is French. Japan has not made this her own. Not yet.

Thank you.

OK.

Uh... your intentions

were good.

But in the future

- I would hope that you would trust me. - We have a future?

I hope so.

Yes?

Mm-hmm.

From now on, different.

Because

Jack and Hiroko

accept one another.

That's the best thing.

See you tonight.

OK.

Is there any reason that you couldn't tell me they were from the same gene pool?

I told you, Jack-san.

When? OK. When did you tell me?

I said, "Many torrents."

Difficulties surround her.

See, just because you speak English doesn't mean we speak the same language.

See...

None of those things mean she is Uchiyama's daughter!

Remember?

"I'll take care of my own face."

"You just translate what comes out of it."

All right, OK, OK, fine.

But in the future--

Jack-san...

You want Yoji's advice about the babes,

you come to Yoji with respect.

Hai.

- "Hai" as in yes?

"Hai" as in yes.

Yes.

Hold on a minute, boys.

Now...

you're ready to hit.

What the hell does this have to do with anything?

Different perspective. Same task.

Find the ball with the bat.

I wanna hit baseballs!

What did you say?

I said I wanna hit.

That's what, I want to hear.

Again.

All: Hai.

Heard there's a Japanese tradition.

Get drunk and tell off your boss.

He can't hold it against you.

You got some bad habits of your own. Namely your attitude.

- My attitude? - That's right.

My attitude provides the foundation for this team.

Bullshit.

Bullshit?

Bullshit. Yeah, that's right. These kids can play ball. That's the foundation of this team.

And you know what? They could be even better if you didn't scare the shit out of 'em.

You got them so uptight they couldn't get a greased BB up their butt.

Greased BB what?

Grea--You heard me.

I make them the best they can be!

Yeah?

Yeah.

Well, try letting your pitchers pitch their way out of trouble sometime. Y'know they might just...

reach down, and show you a little something. They surprise the hell out of you.

and some of your boys, they got speed. Let 'em stretch a single. They might not...

You wouldn't have to bunt all the time!

Just...

let 'em have a little fun.

Baseball is work. Not fun.

Baseball?

Baseball is grown men getting paid to play a game.

When you were a little kid, I bet you didn't pick up a bat and a ball because you were dying to work.

A player's career is short enough.

Let 'em enjoy it.

- Are you finished? - Not quite.

Hiroko?

Leave my daughter out of this!

Hey! Japanese tradition. Anything I want.

You wouldn't wanna break a tradition, would ya?

Now, listen to me.

Hiroko...

is a major pain in the ass, but, so what? So are you.

So am I.

And she's a terrific girl.

Woman.

And you ought to tell her that sometime.

To what do you attribute your renewed power?

"Big Hit! Happy Body!"

You are on your way to

breaking Uchiyama-san's record for consecutive home run games.

Any friction between the two of you guys?

I think, uh... if it meant beating the Giants, he would be all for it.

- Moshi-moshi. - Hey Jack, what do you say big guy?

Doc?

- Who else?

Uh, good morning.

Uh, afternoon here in civilization, Sport, which is where I hope to have you a couple days from now.

What are you talking about?

- I'm talking about bringing you home. Rich Lovett broke his wrist.

The Dodgers need power and I told them you're the man.

- I'm flying over with Howie Gold from their front office. We're gonna be at the game on Thursday.

Hey, that's great, Doc.

Now, they start a big series with Atlanta on Saturday and you're gonna be ready to fly with us, all right?

See ya at the game, big guy.

What's "Great Doc"?

That was my agent. He's flying over with a guy from the Dodgers.

They're interested.

For next season?

No, for next weekend.

And... you would go?

Well, wouldn't you if you were me?

Send me a postcard.

Ohh, come on Hiroko.

"Come on" where?

Now, now, just cool your jets for a minute.

Jet's temperature just fine.

Hey, look, y'know, maybe you could go with me?

Y'know, you said you always wanted to go back someday.

Yes.

Yeah.

With plan. With purpose.

Not just to wave from stands like blonde Bambis.

Bimbos.

Like, come on... I think we're just getting a little bit ahead of ourselves here. I mean...

nothing is definite.

Something very definite.

Definite that baseball and Jack always come before Hiroko and Jack.

Hey, come on now, gimme a break. This is my job.

Not just job. It's who you are.

You said it to me yourself. Always been a ball player

even before you were a ball player. So, go be a ball player.

But, I'm not glove or bat you pack up and take along.

I am a woman.

I'll say.

He's hit dingers in seven consecutive games and tonight he's going for the record.

- Seven in a row. Consecutive games? - That's right.

Whoa, I hope I'm not getting in anybody's way here.

- Jack-san. - Hai. - Mukai-san wants to talk to you.

He wants you to know that...

although at first, he didn't like you...

just that you're just another gaijin helper...

but now, he respects you very much.

He has learned much from you about how to play baseball.

He truly believes that you are the real Mr. Baseball.

About breaking Uchiyama-san's record,

is a big thing,

but please challenge it.

Mukai-san and all teammates are rooting for you.

Uh, tell him...

I owe you, Mukai!

Let's kick ass!

Ball.

Shit.

He's scared of you, Jack.

Ball.

Ball three.

Hey! Greetings fellow American. They don't like gaijin breaking their records.

There's a thousand dollar fine for every strike they throw you, babe.

He ripped that one.

Yes!

Oh, what a play!

We'll get 'em.

Aw, man.

Hey!

Stand up Itoi, he ain't coming out

There ya go.

Now, I buy the pussies.

No, no. Now you OWN the pussies.

Own the pussies...

"Own the pussies" da.

Ball.

If that was a strike, it'd be out of the question.

Ball two.

Ball three.

What?

Get outta here. Get outta here!

Get outta here!

Smile Chief.

And yet we're losing.

Hey, we're behind. Big difference.

Your way is not working.

We're playing like a team here, Chief. Don't back out on 'em now.

C'mon, girls! Rally caps.

Rally caps. Let's go. Let's go. C'mon.

- You all right?

Tip your hat!

Tip your hat, damn it!

Get off of me!

C'moooon.

Heeyy, just like back home, huh?

Got any naked pictures of your wife?

No, but I got some of yours.

Hey Max! He's got to let him hit now. Right?

He may have loosened up a little. Still Uchi.

Did I read that sign right?

Yes.

Swing away.

Maybe I'll break your record.

I said,

swing away.

Yes, Chief.

C'mon, Jack baby!

Jack-san! C'mon!

Smack it!

Safe!

Yes!

It's gonna cost you, Chief!

Hey, I hope you're packed. We're leaving from Tokyo at noon tomorrow.

You're gonna love playing in LA.

The Dodgers will get a good use out of you. Believe me.

Have you got family back home?

Wife and two kids in Jersey.

Well, fly 'em down to Atlanta. They could join you there.

All right. Hey thanks, Howie.

My pleasure. Thanks.

Hey Jack,

Good game, Jack.

Not exactly. I couldn't get a pitch.

Howie Gold. LA Dodgers.

Hey, Howie.

Listen Jack, the straight shot is that Howie's a--

I owe you one, Jack.

So do I.

Hey... you glad?

I'm glad.

You're back?

I'm back.

I'll be back there hitting them over your head in no time.

I know you will.

Hey, this guy try and sign you yet?

- I'll be thinking about it. - Be careful.

- Jack-san.

Big Chief.

Hey! Jack-san!

I didn't see my daughter in the stands.

Yeah, uh, well, I'm afraid some of you Uchiyamas are just a little too stubborn for this old boy.

Stubborn,

but worth it.

Yes?

Hai.

Tell me what happened.

(Knock on door)

Hai.

Your man's still got it.

Yeah, he does.

- Wow! What a shot! - That's long.

Hello.

No. Tell them to hold off. I'll fax the new set in an hour. OK?

Thank you. Bye.

Okay...

All right now, you keep this shoulder in, keep it in, and just explode your hips right through the ball,

and trust your hands.

Thanks, Chief.

What did you call me?

Coach.

Thanks, Coach.

No, that's OK, kid.

Call me Chief.

THE END