Original subtitles

Sofia. You didn't answer your phone.

Sofia?

Isn't she lovely?

Do you think you'll ever marry, 'Fia?

There is a reason why the man is called the groom.

It's an ominous title.

Is that yours?

Yes, you. Does that handbag belong to you?

Rose.

He is unbearable, even at a distance.

The jellyfish or the medusa, it has no bones,

no brain, and no heart.

What it does have is an ability...

They are so young, Maggie and Tom.

And the water is so loud.

The mill.

And the town condemns her.

Fuckers.

Oh, again?

I quite like how primitive it is here.

It reminds me of my mother's house.

Will you fix it, 'Fia?

And would you get me a spoon?

Of course.

That man should be shot,

keeping his dog chained on the roof.

Blech.

Thanks.

You're welcome.

- Sleep well. - You, too.

Don't smoke near my dress.

The grammar in this letter is startling.

We have to be there at 2:45 their time.

Shall we order a taxi for half past 1:00?

- It'll be very early. - Mm.

This cranial testing he's talked about,

I mean, nobody's mentioned that before.

It's going to be wonderful, Sofia.

I'm optimistic.

I can't. I can't do it. I just can't. I can't.

I just can't tell my story all over again, I just can't.

It's...

Perhaps we should just go home.

Come on, Rose.

You mortgaged our house for this.

My house. What if it doesn't work?

This dress is wrong. Can we change it, 'Fia?

Hola.

W-We're from London.

No problem.

So, sometimes you do feel your legs.

Yeah, I-I can walk. Um, perhaps once a year.

I have no idea why I can when I do, it just happens.

You were a librarian. What were your duties?

I do the cataloging. I indexed and classified books.

- Hmm. And you were born? - I'm 64.

- In Ireland? - Yes, in a small town.

- The population was... - No one. No one.

And you moved to London when?

I left home, and I went to university there.

I was the first person in my family to do that.

And your parents were proud?

My father was, yeah.

Sofia. You live with your mother?

Yes.

And what do you think about your mother's condition?

Rose hasn't been able to walk since I was four.

Julieta, estarás a cargo

de las terapias físicas, por favor.

And is anyone else in the family?

No. There's no one else. Just me and Sofia.

I waited a long time for my only.

Hmm. And you work?

In a coffee bar.

I deferred my studies.

Sofia is a permanent student of anthropology.

Wonderful. You study patterns.

Doctor Gomez.

Just Gomez, please.

Where do you feel pain now?

Um, in my leg. Uh, in my right elbow.

And I have chronic knuckle pain here.

And you feel nothing below your knees?

That's right. I'm a rare case.

Sofia, you may go and come back in two hours.

Um, you feel nothing here?

Nothing?

- Sofia... - Yeah? Thanks.

Gomez has taken me off three of my pills.

- Really? - You know, other doctors,

they talked about iron deficiency and diabetes.

Well, it's far more complex than that,

but we have begun.

- Oh, good. - Nurse Sunshine is my daughter,

and today it's her birthday.

- Et j'ai rempli les papiers. - Et c'est signé?

- Oui, Papa. - Très bien.

- Do you need some help? - No, we're fine.

- We're fine, thanks. Thanks. - Thanks.

- I'll see you tomorrow? - Yeah.

Happy birthday.

These are to be chucked.

Don't you want to wait?

For what?

Someone is making money out of my prescription.

I mean, you've watched me.

All those pills. You are my witness.

They fed me like an ardent child in a sweetshop.

He cares. I can tell.

You paid him 25 grand.

Hmm. Euros. Which is less.

Have faith, 'Fia, would you?

Isn't it dangerous to just stop?

Why don't you go out and just do some work?

I will.

And just...

I need a different water.

Would you get me another type?

Hola, guapa.

I'd rather be dead, wouldn't you?

Than shackled.

You should rent a different place.

I like it here.

I went walking once...

...when I was your age.

By the sea.

And then up this cliff.

And the people on the beach,

they stared as I started up this incline.

The grass is so lush

and the rain was so soft on my hair.

And I kept looking over the edge.

And wondering how I would look if I fell onto the rocks.

How my death would look.

I was happy.

I had no bag.

Just a cheese roll and some tobacco.

I stood at the top there and I...

just had a cigarette.

You should go back there.

Find it.

Hmm?

I can't walk.

What would you do if I could walk?

I'd be happy.

Gomez is the last one.

Er, laces.

A subject that we kept returning to

was the Balinese trance dance,

where young women fight against a witch.

What's your full name?

Sofia Papastergiadis.

You have to stay here five minutes in case

you have a reaction.

Age and occupation here.

Do many people ride horses here?

Try not to touch the wound.

Oh, sorry.

I'm done.

Hi.

The water's still wrong, 'Fia.

This book, I realized, is not about love.

It is about shame.

What's happened to your arm?

Jellyfish.

Well, you'll have to get that seen to.

I already did.

Well, come here, let me have a look.

God. Put water on that and blow on it.

Well, you know, at least you can swim.

Pain won't last long.

Can we go out now?

Yeah.

Watches. I want one.

Why?

My father always wore one.

Did Christos have one?

Sort of digital horror he had. With lights.

And then he had such nice hair.

I sort of fell in love with the way his hair fell.

You have different hair.

What are these watches then?

Wh-What have you got there?

Oh, yeah, that's... No, no, no.

They are very simple. They're three--

They're three personnages.

Uh, the father, the mother, and the child. Right.

Which is the father?

I don't care. But I am the child.

Okay. You are the child?

I am the child.

Gracias.

Do you smoke?

Yeah.

Do you have cigarettes?

Yeah.

Okay. Let's go.

Ingrid.

What do you do in London?

I'm writing about Margaret Mead at the moment.

Who's that? She sounds dead.

S-She was an anthropologist.

She went to the South Sea Islands

and wrote about teenagers to try and figure out

if adolescence is always a terrible time,

or if it's just a Western thing.

It's about nature versus nurture.

It's shoes!

Tell me about your woman.

Okay.

She writes that life is flexible,

as in, we can change it, but that it's also elastic.

Because we always go back to what we grew up with.

Essentially.

Fuck that shit.

Look at all this blue, Sofie.

- Cyan. - It's blue.

It's blue.

And?

Matty?

Matty, can you hear the sea?

I'm always late.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Mm.

You're not using our rental car?

Sofia doesn't drive. She failed her test four times.

Well, perhaps your imagination is too active.

Did you imagine that you would finally kill people?

She failed her theory, too,

where no one was in any palpable danger.

Rose, we have the scan of your feet.

Uh... Sofia.

Could you tell me about your father?

He left when I was four,

and I've seen him a few times since then.

The last time?

When I was 15.

Two years ago, he inherited his father's shipping business.

He gave Sofia nothing.

And you, Rose. You have sisters? Brothers?

Three brothers, older.

I had a sister, but she died.

It was a-- a tragedy?

No, they never talked about her.

Well, it's imperative to talk about the dead.

What was your sister's name?

Mary. Oh, I didn't know her. She died before I was born.

I would like you to think about your enemies, Rose.

Make a list.

We don't have access to a printer.

Handwritten is best, Mrs. Papastergiadis.

I was waiting for a long time.

- Sorry. - You didn't hear me.

I had my music on.

Should be listening out for me instead.

Do you want to go inside?

I want to go, but we can't.

How long does it take to ladle out a bowl of bean soup?

Sofia's only having salad.

People think that all those little white cottages

out in the middle of nowhere are romantic.

- They're not. - Why not?

Well, everyone's watching you.

I think I'll have a glass of white wine.

No. No alcohol. We're working.

Ah, beautiful. There you go.

Nice.

That-- That will make me come out in hives.

- Hmm? - I'm allergic to fish.

I-I told you that.

Well, if you have a reaction, I'll move.

Hey.

Gomez.

Rose?

My eye hurts now.

Did you write your list?

Could we sit away from this table?

Tell me who's on the list, Rose.

Well, he's on it, obviously.

And, um, my parents, they weren't helpful.

And, so, I married a Greek, and I escaped.

When did you last see your mother and father?

Uh, they both died, actually, in hospital. Separately.

But I-I wasn't there.

Did you want to be there?

No. Mnh-mnh.

And who is "he"?

Christos.

Sofia's father?

When Sofia was four,

Christos found God, and he left for Athens.

How's your eye?

Hola.

Do you have the keys to the hire car?

Thank you, Julieta.

- Sofie. - Hi.

This is Matty.

He's going to drive your car for you.

- Hi. - Hi.

Cigarette?

- Il tu promenade. - Thank you.

That's great. Thank you.

Do you know we're near the desert here?

Really?

Yes. They made films here.

I could take you.

Do you drive full-time?

No, I'm a musician.

- You okay? - Oh. I'm grand. Thanks, Matty.

But you can't live by your music.

I do this, I do that.

Good for you, Matty.

How do you sleep?

Not well.

You move in your sleep? Your legs move?

Yes, they do. How--

- You can tell that? - Mm-hmm. The muscle.

Do you dream at night?

Always. Vivid dreams. It's always night.

I've lost my bag or I can't find the bus stop.

Do you dream?

I dream of the desert often.

- Hmm. - And being underwater.

You need weight-bearing exercises

for strengthening and endurance.

My whole life has been endurance.

Oh, my first enemy and adversary is endurance.

Everything hurts.

Lo se. Lo se. But you are strong.

'Fia? I'm ready for bed.

Will you lock us in?

Julieta gave me these yoga poses.

I remember this book was in the library.

It was from the '70s.

Look, it's the lion's pose.

Oh.

- Very good one. - Jesus.

Hmm.

Do you think you'll ever finish your studies?

Yeah, of course I will.

Yeah. It's just you find it difficult to finish things.

It's my favorite fabric 'cause it's alive like a bird.

"Beloved."

I thought of my little sister when I worked on it.

Hannah.

Hannah?

She's...

...in Dusseldorf.

She's younger than me.

Much younger.

I couldn't really wake up today.

I had a...

I had a bad day.

Hi.

Mm.

It's so weird.

The branches are screwed on.

Look, here and here.

Yeah.

- Maybe for a film? - Yeah.

I'm just quite sad it's not real.

It's real.

I love the desert.

When I was a child, I wanted to live in the desert.

- You did? - In the Sahara with a camel.

Really? Why? Why the Sahara?

The name-- Sahara.

Were you happy as a kid?

Are you happy now?

What did you want when you were growing up?

A crazy bicycle,

red shoes,

a cat.

Any friends?

I like to stay to myself.

Why?

Why not?

Must have been a reason.

Stop doing that.

Stop what?

Pinning me down like one of your butterflies.

- Needling to the wall. - I don't do that.

Like your woman who studied the teenagers on the islands.

She should have left the teenagers alone

and studied herself instead.

It's questioning.

It's cultural memory. Its important.

It can help people,

could stop wars.

Well, it hasn't stopped anything so far, has it?

Do you want to know what I was like as a kid?

No.

You're still a kid.

Okay.

I killed someone.

Sofie.

It was a long time ago.

Ingrid.

It's beautiful.

A child has more bones than an adult.

As we get older, they fuse.

But my spine has certainly changed a lot, hasn't it, Sofia,

since the last set of X-rays?

How much time do you think we'll need?

We'll see.

How have you been?

I left you messages.

I know. I received them.

Look. I'm making this for an old man I met.

He asked me to personalize it.

What color do you think I should use

to border it with?

Yellow?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I want to take a picture of you.

So I remember.

Sofie.

August in Almeria.

Memory's a bomb.

Mm.

I have to get back to work now.

Can I stay and read for a bit maybe?

Matty just went to get some food.

Okay.

Sofia?

Sofia, come and sit with me.

♪ No troubles, no troubles

♪ And I pressed...

What?

I like your work.

What happened to your mother?

Nothing.

She was a librarian.

I like your mother very much.

But something happened to her.

You can feel it in her body.

Julieta Gomez is an alcoholic.

I smelt it on her breath the first time.

I was her birthday.

And since then.

I thought a change would be good for you.

Can you stop, please?

As a child, you hated change.

You were always fearful.

You were never brave.

Where are you in your cycle?

Shush! No!

Sofia?

I need water.

Sofia.

Why are you cooking? Did you invite someone over?

- Untie the dog, Pablo. - Excuse me?

- Please untie the dog. - Does your mother--

Untie the fucking dog now!

Do it now! Go!

You fucking heard me! Untie it now!

Puta! Fuck you!

You're a monster.

Stay with me.

I'm going back to Berlin.

You should come spend Christmas with me.

I'll get you a ticket.

And you walk from the Brandenburger Tor

to Checkpoint Charlie.

And you have to bring a heavy coat.

In the snow.

And I will hold up a mistletoe over your head.

You will have to perform the ritual.

Your brothers told you?

No. But when they visited,

their behavior towards me.

You knew?

I felt it.

Like a confirmation.

From the people you asked?

And did you tell them at home?

I couldn't. It was a...

a very cold house.

They would have been appalled

that I had written to people.

They just-- They couldn't communicate.

But perhaps they tried.

No.

No, they didn't.

They couldn't.

You're doing really well. You're doing so well.

- I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. - No, no, no. It's good.

- I'm sorry. - It's good.

Oh, God.

- It's very good. - Oh. Oh.

Are you here?

Yes.

Are you really here?

Yes, I am.

I'm here.

I'm glad.

Ingrid.

Hmm?

Who did you kill?

Tell me.

Sofie.

My sister.

When I was six.

She was...

...on a swing.

And I was pushing her and, um...

And then, she fell and...

her skull cracked.

But she didn't die.

She just stopped.

I'm sorry.

No, don't say that. It's--

It doesn't matter.

Where is she now?

Somewhere in a home.

With strangers.

She's my age, but she's...

Her mind is five.

And I remember just wanting her to go higher, you know?

I wanted her to fly.

You were just a kid.

- It's innocent. - No.

No, Sofie, you don't understand.

I was never innocent.

But you do love me?

Of course I love you.

You have to ask yourself who you are, Rose.

I'm someone with a bone condition.

- I know that. - And I can't walk.

- What you told me... - I'm losing bone density.

...who you truly are,

it's far more relevant than a question of bone density.

You realize that?

You wanted events. I gave you some.

Could I have some water, please?

Thank you.

Do you want me to stop all my pills?

Is that what you were saying the last time?

Rose, it's not only about sharing facts.

We-- We have to explore them.

How they have impacted on you

and how they might affect Sofia.

My daughter is completely unaffected by this.

Now I need the bathroom.

I usually go with Sofia. Is there someone who could...

I will page Julieta.

- Tell me, where is Sofia today? - I don't know.

Your name as a child was Rose Ivy Kennedy.

Yeah.

It was.

And I changed it as soon as I could.

Where's Julieta?

Oh, God.

Thank you.

Ooh.

- Should I? - No. No, it's fine. Don't.

Sofie, you're killing me.

Hey, hey, I have some riding boots for you.

- Put them on. - This is Leonardo.

We saw a snake, Leonardo.

Where's the snake?

Do I look like I need boots?

This is Sofie.

Going back into town.

I have my riding lessons now, Sofie.

Uh-huh.

- You can't drive. - I can, I fucking can!

I was worried.

Your father was often silent, like you.

For hours.

I want to see him.

What would you gain by that?

I haven't seen him in 11 years.

Hmm? Is it that long?

- Mm-hmm. - He'll be the same.

I've got a baby sister I've never met.

The notion of you seeing your father

is just a ridiculous idea.

What is wrong with you?

Nothing.

Nothing's wrong with me.

Okay.

Sorry you had to wait so long, Christos.

You can call me Papa.

Where do you live, Sofia?

In London with my mother.

Why Spain?

She's seeing a consultant there.

Sofia's mother feels pain acutely.

She always did.

It's real.

Do you speak Spanish?

No.

Do you speak Greek?

How long will you stay?

Just a few days.

If that's okay.

- Your hair thing. - Oh, thanks.

The window opens. You want me to open it?

No. It's okay. I'll do it.

Okay.

Good night.

Night.

- You look like Christos. - Really?

I have asked him about you a lot.

What did he say?

He speaks about your mother.

- Opa. - How she found it hard.

Being on her own with a child.

Not just that.

Have you been to Greece before?

Mm-hmm. When I was 15.

Is it good to see your papa?

Where did you two meet?

Would you like to hold her?

- Yeah, sure. Hi! - This is your sister.

Oh, yes. Hello.

Hi. Hi.

- Sofia. - Hi.

Come.

- I'll go check on Evangeline. - Okay.

People in their boxes.

I like that everybody goes to sleep at night.

Rose finds sleep hard.

Two insomniacs you have for parents,

who would make tea in the middle of the night

and listen to the radio or play chess.

You wanted to sleep on the roof last time you were here.

I'll let you fall asleep here.

You were not happy on that trip.

I was a bit scared of you.

What is this word?

"Beloved."

What are you going to do?

You can't be nursemaid to Rose all your life.

No. Um...

I would like to finish my doctorate in America.

Do you need funding? You want money?

- That's not why I came. - I don't have any.

- I give it all away. - Yeah, I know, I know.

It was not all my fault, you know.

Your mother was difficult.

Impossible.

What has Rose told you about her family?

Said they didn't get on, that they weren't close.

Tell Rose she needs to tell you--

People should not ring so late.

"Beheaded." It says "beheaded."

No, it says beloved.

- You're here! - I just went to the hospital.

But I-I didn't stay there. You know, the pain,

it wasn't chronic.

So you're okay? You're discharged yourself?

I was never admitted, 'Fia. I-I just rang from there.

You see, I went to see them about the water

because it is so bad here, and I did not expect that.

And then, they realized that I was nearly passing out.

Did you actually faint?

Well, everyone was just so wonderful.

Just lovely people and conversation.

And the doctors. And Matty drove me everywhere.

And I-I don't want to see Gomez anymore.

You know, it's just not helpful.

And I want to go home. I mean, he just depresses me.

And I have a different idea.

So, tell me about Christos and the child bride.

It's dangerous to become dehydrated.

Which is why I went to the hospital.

You could have just drank the water.

Because it tastes like bleach to me. Would you--

It's from the mountains.

It has a picture of the mountains on the bottle.

- Fuck that! - What more do you want?

It's a lie. I mean, the mountains are a lie.

Sofia.

No.

- Sofia, come out. - What do you want now?

- I am in severe pain. - Really?

It's very bad. And your father has upset you.

Where's the pain? Tell me.

Well, I seem to have strained sort of a ligament

just in the chaos of it all.

But this Dr. Shah there, she--

she gave me some new medication,

but it's just making me feel very nauseous.

Anyway, I've got to try and finish up with,

uh, Gomez tomorrow.

I'm going to ask for some of the money back.

I mean, you don't pay thousands of euros for a chat.

And we're going to have to ask for a taxi

because Matty needs the car.

Fuck Matty. Fuck all of them.

Fucking Matty.

Give me your paw.

Go on, give it to me.

Tell me about your father.

He told me you two played chess

when you couldn't sleep at night.

We didn't.

Christos always slept.

He snored.

The chess is some narrative of his, some fiction.

He also said you should tell me what happened.

In what sense?

He was talking about your family.

He never met my family.

You see, that's what he does. He lies.

You need to work more on what we talked of.

If you don't, you won't walk freely.

I don't want to do any more work on it.

- I don't feel the need. - Are you scared?

It's natural, but you have to fight that fear.

I feel better since I went to the hospital.

There's a normality about it which I appreciate.

You're happy to suppress the event,

I understand that, but you need to know

who you are in real detail.

And you have to find the answer and accept it.

Julieta will take me to the taxi, thank you.

Rose. Rose. Rose, please.

Rose.

What you are contemplating, it will not help.

We didn't talk about money.

I will refund what you ask for.

Excuse me.

Sofia Irina, please stay a moment.

Your mother was progressing, but she has gone into

a fight or flight and has chosen the latter.

Your mother has proposed something quite... brutal.

When you were away, she talked about amputation.

She's not serious about that. She wants to get better.

I cannot stop her from wanting to staunch the pain.

She has made an appointment with a consultant in London.

No.

He had confirmed it with me

and has asked for her records.

Tell me...

...h-how did you go with your father?

It was good to see him again.

Was he cruel to you?

Well, you don't have to see him again.

Ever. Sofia, hmm?

You never have to see him again.

Okay.

What are you doing? Get in.

Get in, Sofia, get in!

Having a tantrum is not helpful.

Dog?

Dog!

Come, sit down, Sofie.

- I don't want to. - Please.

You'll regret it if you don't.

Sofie.

Mm, Sofie.

You're like a blue planet with two dark, spooky eyes.

Like little animals.

No, I'm not.

I'm none of those things.

Are you hungry?

I bet you want to eat pizza. Hmm?

You're a monster, Sofie.

Do you think...

she's happy without a mind?

Do you think

she remembers?

She has a mind like a leaf.

Sometimes I want to...

blow myself up, Sofie.

Do you still like me?

Say yes.

The world is dark until you say yes.

The world is so dark.

So dark.

Wait.

Oh, Matty.

Matty, can you hear the ocean?

Listen.

Hey!

Hey! That's my--

My phone!

- You go get my phone. - You get your fucking phone!

- Go get my phone! Go! - Ingrid, it's not a phone!

You were children.

You were children.

You were children.

Hola. Hola, Hola.

Juntos.

Juntos. Juntos. Juntos.

Ahora, ahora.

- Ya està. - Ya està.

What did you do when you got home today?

Nothing.

So you didn't go out or anything?

No, I just slept.

Why?

- Come on, let's go. - Let's go where?

Can I have some water?

Tell me about your sister, Mum.

Mary.

She died.

Would you help me fix the lamp in my bedroom?

How did she die, exactly?

I-I don't know. Will you just plug it in for me?

You must know how she died.

I don't.

I didn't know her.

I didn't know her.

Please tell me.

Just did.

All right, get in the car.

God, I don't know what is the matter with you, 'Fia.

I'm hungry. We're going to the restaurant. Come on.

- No, I-I-- - Let's go! Go, go!

What is this?

You walked today.

Why didn't you tell me?

I didn't want to raise your hopes.

I watch you as closely as you watch me.

It's what mothers do. We watch our children.

You never ask me if I'm happy.

Because you're always so profoundly sad.

- You ask for so much of me! - Is that not so?

- So much! - Because you are so able.

You're so strong.

And why would you talk about cutting off your leg?

That's too...

Too late. It's all gone.

Mary didn't die.

They sent her away.

She was 16.

She had me.

I was hers.

They didn't let her near me.

Did you know her? Did you meet later?

Yeah, once.

When I was your age.

She wasn't well.

She was broken.

Doesn't matter.

I'm an animal in the desert.

And there's no water.

There is water.

It's too late.

There's only pain.

Okay. Okay.

Come on.

Okay.

All right.

All right.

It's not too late.

It's here.

Okay? It's here.

You have to choose, Mama. You have to choose.

You have to choose to go outside.

You have to choose to not sit in a room all day

and die slowly smelling of that room.

Do you understand? Please. You have to embrace life.

You can't just endure it.[

Do you hear me?

I-- I can't walk, 'Fia.

You have to choose, Mama.

I-I-- You've got to believe me, I can't walk.

You don't believe me, but I can't.

I do believe you. I do.

♪ Arise

♪ From this land, we made our home ♪

♪ The right way

♪ It will be

♪ Earth shattering

♪ We will love again

♪ My darling

♪ It's earth-shattering

♪ We will love again

♪ My darling

♪ We shall

♪ You are still in me

♪ In the wind

♪ In the poplar trees

♪ You are still in me

♪ My darling

♪ It's earth-shattering

♪ Again, again, again, again

♪ We will love again

♪ Again, again, again

♪ We will love again

♪ Again, again, again, again

♪ We will love again

♪ Again, again, again

♪ We will love again

♪ And it will never be the same ♪

♪ We will love again