Original subtitles

GOOD NEWS

This story take you way, way back to another era - 1927.

That was the year they were dancing the Charleston -

The year Coolidge did not choose to run -

The year Will Rogers was elected mayor of Beverly Hills -

The year of "flaming you" -whe a girl was a flapper- and a boy was a sheik.

''T'' is for ''Tait'' College

T-A-l-T, Tait! Hooray!

''A'' is for ''A'' college

Where students never want to graduate

''I'' is for ''Intercollegiate''

Intercollegiate fame

''T'' is for the Tait ''Team''

It's such a great team

Tait's prowess on the field Is known to fame

For athletically, there's no team

- Like the Tait football team - Boom diddy bah, diddy bah, Tait

Tait's the team we're rooting for The team we're rooting for

Tait's the team that's won before That's always won before

Victory will soon be ours Hear the mighty roar

For the champion team is

Tait! Tait! Tait!

'Tis good news

You're gonna do me good Come right here to me, good news

- Good news, news - Good news

You're what I've waited for

That's what I'm slaving for

Good news is so

- Good to me - To me, to me, to me, to me

Bad news is no

Good to me

Goody, good good good

Good news, you're bound to do me good

Come right here to me, good news

Have you heard the good news?

Gonna be good news

Gotta have good news

So we're saying bye-bye, bad news

Hello! Goody, good news!

T-A-I-T, T-A-I-T, T-A-I-T Tait! Hooray!

- Hi, Babe. - Hi, gang.

- We're gonna watch football practice. - No, thank you.

Hey, there's the dean.

- Wow, get a load of that! - Who is it?

She's the new pledgee, Pat McClellan.

A transfer from the Black Briar Finishing School.

- And I do hope you'll like it here. - I love it already, Dean Griswold.

You've been absolutely charmant.

- Goodbye, Miss McClellan. - Au revoir!

- Hello, Babe. - Hello, McClellan.

- Everybody, this is Pat McClellan. - Hi, Pat.

Enchantée. Enchantée.

Hey, wait'll Tommy Marlowe gets a load of that!

- How men'll fall for a pretty face. - You said it.

- Last chance to go to the field. - Aw, football!

- What are we waiting for? - Come on, let's go.

Fellows, I hate to say it, but that was a pretty nice practice. Thompson...

...watch your passing.

Zubrowski, nice broken field running.

Beef, I'll get to you later.

- What are you doing? - I'm warming up.

- Can't hang up a cold uniform. - Bobby, get your uniform off.

I never get to wear it. I like to keep it on till the last minute.

I even rub a little dirt on it just to convince myself I'm on the team.

- You'll get off the bench this year. - I hope so.

All the girls want football heroes.

I guess that's about all. You can go to the party tonight.

And you can stay out till 10:00.

Listen, you crybabies! You're not gonna be so social this year.

We're not running a mahjong society. I want you all out for early practice.

And don't forget, this is just the beginning.

The first game's just a week off. Okay.

Good going. You're in the pink.

- You'll be better than last year. - Thanks, I owe it all to Poochie.

- I made him work. - We'll win every game...

...including against Colton. - Don't say it.

Think it, but don't say it out loud! The evil spirits don't like it.

You're lucky you're the best trainer here.

Tommy, you gotta stay away from the women this year.

Remember, you're a football player, not Rudolph Valentino.

Women won't interfere with how I play. I can take them or leave them.

I wish another player could say the same.

- Beef. - Yes, sir?

- Where were you today? - Right here on the field.

Your delicate body may have been there, but that dumb head of yours...

...was off worrying about that flapper, Babe Doolittle.

You're right, coach. But I'll be all right, I'm studying psychology.

Psychology! It's black magic. Leave it alone.

It teaches you to act natural. You shouldn't have repressed hostilities.

If you got something inside, you should let it come out.

So I want to announce right now...

...if anyone comes near Babe Doolittle, I'll kill him!

- Wow! You tell 'em, Beef. - That's love.

- Bobby, hurry up. - Have you met the new bombshell yet?

The Phi Gamma Gamma, Patricia McClellan.

She's burning up the campus. Haven't you seen her?

- I let the gals come to see me. - Tommy, how do you do it?

It's a cinch and it's a snap

They just fall in your lap

And, Bobby, you can make them Do the same

Who, me? Never.

Don't be scared, don't be shy

Get that gleam in your eye

And then you'll have more girls Than you can name

Wear collegiate, collegiate clothes

- Be a ladies' man - I just look silly.

Get that swagger and get that pose

- Be a ladies' man - I couldn't.

If you think you're much too skinny With your six-inch waist

Don't just give up the fight in haste

Some girls have such peculiar taste

Be a ladies'

Be a ladies' Learn to be a ladies' man

- And be collegiate - Collegiate

- Collegiate - Collegiate.

Walk collegiate, talk collegiate

- Be a ladies' man - A rooty tooty

Get that swagger, get that pose

- Be a ladies' man - A rooty toot

And when a ladies' man Wears a certain tie

And that twinkle is in his eye

You can kiss your sweetie-pie goodbye

They love a ladies' man

- Oh, how I love the ladies - Root toot-toot, rooty toot-toot-toot

Get that gleam, boy Right in your eye

- I wanna be a ladies' man - A rooty tooty

Root toot-tooty, toot-toot-toot-toot

Be a ladies' man A rooty tooty

When they give you that frozen stare

Make believe that you just don't care

Then in no time they're in your hair

If you're a ladies' man

If you're a ladies' man

If you're a ladies' man You gotta be up-to-date

You gotta know your stuff If you want to rate

You gotta sing vo-do-de-o and boop-boop-a-doop

You gotta ukelele lady Lika she lika you

You gotta do the Black Bottom Gotta do the Shag

And the Charleston And the Varsity Drag

Oh, how I love the ladies

Wear collegiate, collegiate clothes

We're so collegiate

Rather be a ladies'

Rather be a ladies'

Rather be a ladies' man

Swagger!

And strike a pose

Gotta be, gotta be, gotta be Rooty toot-toot

To be a ladies' man

If you're a football star A big shot or an also-ran

A guy whose clothes don't fit him Or a Dapper Dan

Any man who is half a man

Has to be a ladies'

Gotta be a ladies'

Gonna be a ladies'

Gotta be a ladies'

Hope to be a ladies'

Gotta be a ladies'

- Gotta be a ladies' man - The cat's pajamas

- Gotta be a ladies' man - I'll pay you Tuesday

- Gotta be a ladies' man - I really mean it

Gotta be a ladies' man

And I don't mean maybe

Got to be a ladies' man

If I do more of this, I won't have strength for the party.

Why do you need strength? Beef's curfew is 10.

I'm through with football stars whose curfews are 10.

- My new passion is Bobby Turner. - That skeleton?

He's about as appealing as a string bean. He's nothing.

Yeah, he's nothing. He's on the scrub team.

He can stay out all night. Oh, I'm mad about him.

- Does the lucky boy know about this? - He will tonight.

Of all the nerve, she can't do this! Where's Connie?

- Look at that thing. What is it? - Pat McClellan's dress.

- Oh, gee. - Wow!

She made me fix it. I don't have to do that.

- I'm gonna tell Connie. - Come on, she's in the kitchen.

- Connie! - Here I am.

- What's the trouble? - It's that Pat McClellan.

Connie, do you know what she asked me to do? Sew some beads on her dress.

Who does she think she is, Marie Antoinette? Give me a wrench, Cora.

Maybe you can say something to her.

I don't know what I'd like to say. Give me a rag, Cora.

- Here, let me look at that thing. - Cora, give me a...

Holy smoke!

Is this the dress?

- What do you think of it? - Isn't it the cat's?

Just out of the Ziegfeld Follies. Where does it need fixing?

- It doesn't anymore. I fixed it. - You didn't.

I already did it before I remembered to get mad.

I'd better have a talk with her.

- What about the sink? - It's fixed.

Don't have harsh words with her. She's new and doesn't know.

You're right, Mrs. Drexel. After all, she is just out of finishing school.

You wonderful creature!

Why does everyone love you?

Why are you so divine...

...so clever, so popular?

I sure wish someone loved me the way you love you.

Why, Connie Lane. I was only fooling, n'est-ce pas?

It sounded like true love to me. Here's that burlap bag.

How sweet of you to bring it up. Merci, merci.

As long as you're living with us, there are a few things...

Why, of course. Naturally.

That dress, for instance. For a little sorority party, it's rather extreme.

- Extreme? Really? - And obvious.

Obvious?

- It's Babe. Can we come in? - Entrez.

Sure.

I hate to interrupt, but the sheiks will be here any minute.

- You'll slay them in that dress, Pat. - They're all pretty impressionable.

- Have you met any of them? - Not yet.

But I hope to meet all the worthwhile ones.

Well, let's see now. Which ones are really, really worthwhile?

Eddie Dunkelman. He's a catch. His father's the local butcher.

He's a little short and a little fat, but he does a mean Charleston.

The boy for you is Tommy Marlowe. We're all just crazy about him.

Tommy Marlowe? Who's he?

Only the captain of the football team.

And what a sheik.

You know, girls, I think college contacts are terribly important.

It's très nécessaire to find someone of the right background...

...and sufficient wealth...

...of culture.

Oh, that's so true.

Is 25 million dollars enough culture for you?

Peter Van Dyne, III has it.

Richest man at Tait.

- Van Dyne, III? - Oh, but he's such a drip.

For 25 million dollars, let him drip.

He's not an attractive boy?

Attractive? He's the twerpiest wet smack of all time.

Quel fromage.

- What did you say? - I said, ''Quel fromage.''

- ''What a pity'' in French. - Oh, you must mean dommage.

Fromage means cheese.

Quel fromage. ''What cheese.''

Oh, of course, dommage. How silly of me.

Come on, they're here.

- Is Bobby here? - I'm not ready!

- You were saying about the dress? - Oh, forget it Pat. I was wrong.

The dress suits you perfectly.

Nice party, Mrs. Drexel. But I want the team out of here by 10:00.

Of course, Mr. Pooch. That's understood.

Gee, I love to dance. I feel like I'm not even touching the floor.

You're not.

It's heaven with you in my arms. Let's go out on the porch.

Let's dance.

- Do you love somebody else? - Oh, no, Beef.

You just don't understand me. I'm like the psychology you talked about.

I'm a split personality.

Oh. Well, if anyone comes near you, they'll be a split personality.

- Hey, what are you doing? - Oh, nothing.

Beef, look at poor Connie.

You've simply gotta help her.

Connie?

Beef's dying to help. Give him something to do.

- Fine. Would you help me pass these? - Sure.

- Well, Bobby, here I am. - What?

- It's time for that dance I promised. - Go away!

- Beef will kill whoever comes near you. - Well, wouldn't it be worth it?

Hey, what's going on?

- Bobby, you and me are soul mates. - What?

I won't take no for an answer. Tell me you love me.

Look at that. Goose pimples.

Think it's cold? It's you.

Well, look at that. Goose pimples. You think it's you?

It's Beef. Let me go!

There's nothing like a college education.

- Tommy, where've you been? - Tommy!

Girls, girls, where is this gorgeous creature I've been hearing about?

Oh, McClellan isn't down yet.

Now, don't worry. I'll be back.

- Hi, Tommy. - Hi, Evelyn.

What is this, the waiting room?

We can all go home now. Marlowe is here.

Thanks. This is quite a turnout.

If this show's no good, I want my money back.

I have a little announcement to make...

...you are about to witness Patricia McClellan, the female form divine.

Jungle potentates have fought for one smile from her lips.

For only 10 cents, you will see this little lady descend these stairs...

...placing one dainty foot before the other. All right, watch...

Some of these boys you know, but I'd like to introduce you to a few more.

Patricia McClellan, Clyde Waters. Richard Tripper...

...Eddie Dunkelman... - And I'm Tommy Marlowe.

That was a charming speech, Mr. Marlowe.

You've obviously spent most of your life in a freak show.

I was only kidding. You're really terrific.

I'll tell you more while we dance.

- Shall we go on, Mrs. Drexel? - Oh, yes. This is Grover Smith.

- And this is Peter Van Dyne, III. - Van Dyne.

Mr. Van Dyne, III, I've heard so much about you.

I believe my mother might have met your mother at Newport?

Well, that's very possible.

- Would you care to dance? - Oh, I'd love to.

Kind of cold in here, isn't it?

- How does it feel to get the brush? - How do you like her, Tommy?

She's not so hot. Just trying to play hard to get. Hey, Danny!

You're the first touch of refinement I've found here.

The first person I can really talk to.

That makes me very happy.

I'd like to make you 100 million times happier.

100 million! Oh, Peter! You don't know what this means...

My lord, would you and the duchess like a moldy canapé?

Not very funny.

I'll try one first, in case you suspect poison.

- Not a bad idea. - You're more at home in a freak show.

- You were saying... - Van Dyne!

- Van Dyne. - What is it?

Phone call, long distance. New York.

- What? Where, inside? - No, at the dormitory.

I'd better scoot. Pat, I'll only be a few minutes.

It'll seem like eons, my dear.

Oh, poor Peter. I hope it isn't bad news.

Ten o'clock! Football team out of here, pronto! Everybody out.

Isn't that your cue? You've got something to do with football, right?

Are you kidding? Why, I'm the captain of the team.

I don't get this. What's the matter? I'm a popular guy.

Really?

- This year I'll be all-American. - All-American?

Does that mean you become a citizen?

Come on, Pat. Don't be an iceberg. You gotta melt someday.

Mr. Marlowe, haven't I made it clear to you that I don't like you?

I'll spin you into town tomorrow night. Have dinner, go dancing, just us two.

I'll pick you up at 6. Okay?

- Quelle effronterie! - Pat?

- My dear. - Peter, what is it?

I phoned the dormitory. There was no call for me at all.

No call?

Well, I think I'd better be going. Don't forget about tomorrow night.

- I'm glad you could stay, Peter. - So am I.

I knew when I came down those stairs, this was going to be my lucky night.

It's like fate.

It was accidental

We just met by chance

Yet I'm very certain

You will be my big romance

Football players bore me

All they've got is health

But, you, my sweet

Are joy complete

Because you've got such wealth

Of culture

Lucky in love

Lucky in love

What else matters

If you're lucky in love?

Good breaks are few

Few skies are blue

But bad luck scattered

When I first looked at you

I don't care

What the future will bring

If we're there together

I won't need a thing

I'll say I'm lucky in love

If you'll take me, that'll make me

Oh, so lucky in love

Lucky in love

Lucky in love

Don't you know when you are

Lucky in love?

You're just my speed

Why must I plead?

Oh, come to baby

In her hour of need

I don't care if you're puny and weak

And you've only got

Baby fuzz on your cheek

I love you!

Lucky in love

If you trust me then we must be

- Oh, so lucky in love - In love

Lucky in love

- You're lucky if you're lucky in love - You're lucky

- Lucky in love - You're lucky

Lucky in love

Lucky in love

Lucky in love

What else matters

If you're lucky in love?

Good days are few

Few skies are blue

But bad luck scatters

Every time I'm with you

I don't mind if at poker, I'm green

If I stand ace high

With a beautiful queen

I'll say I'm lucky in love

If you'll take me, that'll make me

Oh, so lucky

So darn lucky

Lucky in love

Lucky in love

Guess I never will be

Lucky in love

Some girls are gay

Know what to say

But when I talk

I scare the fellows away

If my dream man

Should ever arrive

I can bet he won't

Even know I'm alive

Lucky in love

Must be fun to be someone who's

Oh, so lucky in love

In love, lucky in love

You're lucky if you're lucky in love

You're lucky in love You're lucky in love

So lucky, lucky, lucky If you're lucky in love

- You're lucky - Got your head in a whirl

- You're lucky - If you got the right girl

You're oh, so lucky

Lucky in love

Lucky in love

Up to now

I've been so lucky in love

Never was spurned

Never got burned

The cat's pajamas

Where the girls were concerned

But now I'm acting

Just like a dope

It's the first time some baby said

''It's no soap.''

And meant it!

Lucky in love

If you take me, that'll make... - So it was you!

Of all the uncouth, contemptible tricks!

I just wanted a chance to get together.

Get together? I never want to see you again. You...

You're absolutely incorrigible!

- What's that? - That's French.

Pal, that gal

Sure put you in your place

When she called you incorrigible

To your face

Oh, brother, you got a shove

And without that, we still doubt that

You'd be lucky in love

In love, lucky in love

You're lucky if you're lucky in love You're lucky

So lucky

It's oh, so lovely

If you are

Lucky in love

- These are what you're looking for. - That's fine, Miss Lane. Thanks.

Good night.

Why, Mr. Marlowe. What on earth are you doing here?

Well, why? Can't anyone come in here?

I thought you'd made a mistake. It's not the hangout for the football team.

What do you mean? I've often been here doing research.

Not in the past three years.

Why do you say that?

I work here, Mr. Marlowe. I'm the assistant librarian.

In that case, I'll never lie again. But how come you look so familiar?

Where have I seen you before?

You've seen me 100 times in the past three years.

You stood right next to me at the punch bowl last night.

My name is Connie Lane.

Babe's roommate! For crying out loud, then you're a student.

- Why do you want to work here? - It helps pay my tuition.

It's called working your way through college.

Oh, I'm sorry.

At your service.

Where's the French dictionary? I want to look up a word.

I'm majoring in languages. What's the word?

Ever heard of a French word, ''in-courage-gee-bull''?

- You mean incorrigible. - What does it mean?

Same thing it means in English.

''Impossible, incorrigible, past reforming.''

That's what I thought.

She spoke the word beautifully.

I heard it all the way in the kitchen.

I'll give her back that parlez-vous.

- Who's the best French teacher? - Kennyon.

I'll sign up for a course.

Don't get carried away. Kennyon is tough, and he hates football players.

I've never flunked a subject yet. Come on, show me a few words.

- Don't be silly. It's closing time. - Come on.

Well, all right.

- The book, le livre - Le livre, the book

- The pen, la plume - La plume, the pen

- La chaise - La chaise

- Le crayon - Le crayon

- Le cahier - Le cahier

- Le papier - Le papier

Noir, rouge, blanc are black, red, white

- Rouge, blanc, noir - You're fairly bright

- Now please go back - I bet I get them right

Rouge, blanc, noir, le papier, le cahier Le crayon, la chaise, la plume, le livre

Le livre est rouge

La chaise est noir

- Wonderful! - This is work?

It's more like play

In no time flat Je parle français

- Had enough? - I'm just starting

All right, you asked for it

The door, la porte

La porte, the door

Of wood, du bois

Du bois, of wood

To open, ouvrir

Ouvrir, to open

To shut, fermer

Fermer, to shut

The pronouns that you need Are je and vous

Je means me and vous means you

Now do them all

Just watch me plow right through

Je and vous, to shut, fermer, to open Ouvrir, la porte, rouge, blanc et noir

Le papier, le cahier, le crayon La chaise, la plume, le livre

J'ouvre la porte

Je ferme la porte

Marvelous!

My thirst to learn you can't quench

Come fill me up to here with French

- More? - More

- You'll explode - Who cares?

The hand, la main

La main, the hand

The mouth, la bouche

La bouche, the mouth

- Les yeux sont bleus - They sure are blue

- Les cheveux - The hair, les cheveux

The words for boy and girl Garçon et fille

Garçon et fille Are he and she

- Now from the top - I'll get my French degree

Garçon et fille, les cheveux, the hair Les yeux sont bleus, la bouche, la main

Je et vous, fermer, ouvrir, la porte Rouge, blanc, noir, papier, cahier

Le crayon, la chaise, la plume, le livre Mesdames! Messieurs!

Les yeux sont bleus

- You're crazy! - Won't you come join me in a dance?

I am the president of France!

- Gee, this is fun. - Yes, I know.

I didn't know learning could be fun.

Look at these books waiting to be read.

- Anybody can come in and read them. - Yeah, no cover charge.

When I was a kid, I loved to read. I wanted to find out about everything.

I thought I was the only kid who felt that way.

You too?

I wanted to find out about everybody in the world.

Don't bother with that now. Come on.

There was a creek back home. I used to take a canoe and...

...pretend that I was going to the countries I'd read about.

- Bread and butter. - Bread and butter.

I was Huck Finn on the Mississippi, the Volga, the Nile, the Seine...

...all of them.

Sometimes at night, I'd sit there in my canoe and look up at the stars.

I'd look up at them from our rooftop in Chicago...

...and think of all the people all over the world looking up at the same stars.

Thinking about them in different languages.

Now the whole world just seems to be little Tait College.

I never think about anything but being a big football star.

That'll be over in a few months, and then what?

If you don't forget about that boy in the canoe, you'll be fine.

I think he has a great future.

You're quite a girl.

When I walked in here, I was feeling kind of sorry for you.

Why?

Oh, I don't know. Having to work your way through school and...

...missing a lot of good times. Not having the best things in life.

The best things in life? I've got them. Everybody has.

There are so many kinds of riches

And only one of them is gold

The wealth you miss

Remember this

Worthwhile things cannot

Be bought or sold

The moon belongs

To everyone

The best things in life

Are free

The stars belong

To everyone

They gleam there

For you and me

The flowers in spring

The robins that sing

The sunbeams that shine

They're yours

They're mine

And love can come

To everyone

The best things in life

Are free

Gee, I've learned a lot of things today.

La main, les yeux, la bouche.

- What does that mean in French? - Embrasser.

Embrasser?

It's just as nice in both languages, isn't it?

Gee, what a vocabulary I've got.

Wait'll I spring this on Pat. That'll put a dent in her.

Why don't you just hit her over the head with a hockey stick?

We'll review the use of the French pronoun...

...for the benefit of those who have come into the class late.

Il, he or it.

Elle, she or it.

Il est, he is.

Elle est, she is.

Ils, ''they,'' plural, masculine.

- Are you sure he's in this class? - They'll be out any minute now.

Pooch, you gotta do something.

It's a downright case of French schizophrenia if I ever saw one.

Oh. Well, don't worry.

I'll see that he gets rid of all this bologna. Just leave it to Poochie.

Je t'aime.

- Je t'adore. Les yeux bleus... - Good luck in the game tomorrow.

- The opening game! - Oh, yeah.

- Tomorrow, remember? - It's a cinch. It's in the bag.

Je t'aime.

It's in the bag, eh?

What's the matter?

You and your French course. That's what. You're gonna flunk it.

Then where will our team be?

Aw, dry up, Poochie.

Je t'aime, je t'adore, les yeux bleus.

What's that?

This is my French speech. I'm springing it on a Sheba.

I get it. It's that McClellan dame.

Tommy, have you gone nuts?

Yes!

The boys don't understand a word you're saying on the field.

They're waiting for the signals. You give them the signals in French!

Sure. Quarante-et-un, dix-huit, soixante-neuf, onze. Hup!

I can't help it, Poochie. Language comes easy to me.

I've been in the class five days, and I speak like a native.

- Not sure from where, but a native. - Comes easy, huh?

You think your parlez-vous français will charm Crenshaw off the field?

I don't know, but it'll charm McClellan into going to the prom with me.

Poochie, vamoose. I gotta study my speech.

Hey, Tommy!

My chauffeur!

She's at Gimpeldinger's having a soda with Van Dyne.

Keep the engine boiling. I'll be right down.

Je t'adore, je t'aime.

Vous êtes merveilleux.

- Pooch, can I drop you someplace? - Yeah, over the nearest cliff.

Anything wrong?

Things are so wrong, we may wind up using you on the team.

Well, what's wrong with that?

- Nothing, if you want to lose. - Babe! Go away.

- Is that all you have to say? - Leave me alone!

- How long have you been here? - I hopped in by the soda shop.

I had an ice-cream cone and a glass of milk. By now it's a malted.

I'm trying to say I love you!

I told you, I won't have anything to do with you.

I value my life. I love life, and I want to live.

Sure, I like you. If circumstances were different, well...

...you and me, that might be how I'd like it to be...

To be or not to be, that is the question...

...where government of the people, for the people, give me liberty or give...

- Oh, hello, Beef. - Who are you talking to?

- Nobody. I'm practicing a speech. - I thought I saw you with someone.

- With somebody? - Yeah, Babe.

How silly. Just us two, just jalopy and me and baby makes three.

- You sure she wasn't here? - Posi-lutely, abso-tively.

- Turner, you don't like Babe, do you? - Like her?

- Can't stand her, silly flapper. - What do you mean, ''silly flapper''?

She's great! She's the bee's knees, the cat's meow and she loves you.

- What'd you say? - I said, ''Oh, yeah.

She loves you. Yes, sir!''

I'm glad you said that. Otherwise I might've done this...

- My fender! - You know I get upset over Babe!

I'm highly tense. When you keep your inhibitions inside...

...they just break open!

I said, ''Ow!'' When you hurt this car, it's hurting me.

When I lose control, I get shaken up from bottom to top!

- You don't know how I suffer! - Beef, not so loud. My car!

- Oh, is this your car? - It was.

Sorry. When I get mad, I don't know what I'm doing, like I'm hypnotized.

Oh, that's all right.

- Give me a lift to Gimpeldinger's? - Sure. Hop in.

No, no, in front!

Bobby, better take better care of your car. It's getting shabby.

No, no, in front!

All out for Gimpeldinger's!

Well, old place hasn't changed much.

Wonder if MclKinley's still president?

Bonjour, mesdames et messieurs.

J'ouvre la porte. Well! Je ferme la porte.

Garçon, un split de banane, s'il vous plaît.

Coming up, Tommy.

Mes enfants...

...le français, c'est le langage de l'amour et de la guerre.

I drink à la most beautiful femme dans la chambre.

Elle knows who elle is.

Mademoiselle...

Beat it, Marlowe.

Mademoiselle, I have composed a speech just for you...

...in your own language.

Je t'aime, je t'adore. Les mains blanches, les yeux bleus...

...les oreilles petites, les dents comme les perles, la bouche rouge.

Mademoiselle, que vous êtes belle. Que vous êtes délicieuse.

Mon coeur s'ouvre à ta voix. Le jour de gloire est arrivé.

Therefore, mademoiselle, after the game...

...I'd be honored if you'd accompany me to the prom.

Mr. Marlowe, you are a pain in the neck in any language.

I'm going to the prom with Mr. Van Dyne.

You may be able to memorize lines, but you can't memorize good manners.

Okay, Miss McClellan.

Maybe it took a ton of bricks to fall on me, but I guess I get the idea.

You win.

I won't take up any more of your valuable time.

You keep treating Tommy like that and he might lose the game for Tait.

I'm afraid Mr. Marlowe's career doesn't interest me.

Watch this. I'll get her interested.

Leave Pat alone, kids.

Just because he's our hero, she doesn't have to throw herself at him.

And I don't blame her.

After all, he'll be The Pickle King of America after he's done with college.

- The what? - Oh, didn't you know?

His father's the Marlowe Pickle Works.

How sordid. Pickles.

Yeah, 30 million dollars' worth.

Isn't it disgusting?

And still, poor Tommy has no one to go to the dance with.

All that dough, most popular guy in school, no date.

Maybe you're betting on the wrong horse.

- Mind your own business. - Temper, temper.

A medicine man I met

Said, ''Don't get yourself in a sweat''

When things look gray Just shrug and say

''It must have been something I 'et'''

''So don't get yourself In a snit, ''he said

Tuck your tantrums Into your kit instead

''It's disarming to be charming''

Quoth the medicine man

Whom all agree, it's plain to see

Nobody could be wiser than

So if your temper's Getting the top hand

All you have to do is just stop and

Pass that peace pipe and Bury that hatchet

Like the Choctaws, Chickasaws, Chattahoochees, Chippewas do

If you're feeling mad as a wet hen

Mad as you can possibly get, then

Pass that peace pipe and Bury that tomahawk

Like those Chichimecs, Cherokees, Chapultepecs too

When you're cranky

Try to use a little restraint

Fold that hanky

And wipe off all of that war paint

But if you wanna be an all-right guy

Not a long-face, Blues-in-the-night guy

Write that apology and dispatch it

When you've quarreled It's grand to patch it

Pass that peace pipe and Bury that hatchet

Like the Choctaws, Chickasaws, Chattahoochees, Chippewas

And those Chichimecs, Cherokees, Chapultepecs

And those Chicutemis, Chapechets and Chicapees

Chochos, Changos, Chattanoogas, Cheecharows do

Chocho!

Chango!

Chattanooga, Chippewa!

Chow, chow!

Choo, choo!

Chichimec, Chapultepec!

If you use a little control

You'll be top man on the totem pole

- Professor Kennyon! - Oh, Miss Lane.

I was going to see you. I corrected the tests, I'll give them to you now.

Thank you. Yes, the elementary class. That was a fast job.

- Oh, excuse me... - Well!

Gee, Connie! It's good to see you. Oh, excuse me, professor.

Watch your step in more ways than one. I've got your first exam here.

How did our football star do?

- A perfect paper. 100 percent. - I did?

I'm surprised. Don't get careless. You've got to tow the mark with me.

Football and studies don't mix. Good day.

He's a pleasant old cuss.

Well, I've got to go to football practice.

Gee, I got a perfect paper.

You know why? It's all your work.

It's just a vocabulary test, mostly words you taught me that day.

Yes, I know.

It isn't half as much fun when Kennyon teaches it.

I never have the least impulse to kiss him.

Speaking of your impulses, how about Pat McClellan?

Are you making a dent on her with your French?

Oh, here, I'll take these.

Guess I should have used that hockey stick.

It doesn't matter anymore. I knew it the second I bumped into you.

I don't care. I don't care if I never see her again.

Will you go to the prom with me?

After she declined? No, thanks.

But I'm glad she did, because now I can ask you.

Play second fiddle? No, thanks.

Guess I don't blame you.

- Well, who are you going to ask now? - Nobody.

I'm not going stag. Guess I won't go at all.

Not go to the prom?

But that's silly! It'll practically be in your honor.

I'll go if you'll go with me.

Well...

- All right. - You will? Wonderful!

Eight o'clock. I'm late for practice.

Good luck in the game.

Oh, they sure are blue.

Look at Connie.

Hi, Connie!

She's acting so strange.

Connie, hello!

Hello...

So I told her if that's what she...

Hello, Connie.

Miss Connie!

- The sink, it's acting up again. - It is? How nice.

How do you like that?

- She must've gone crazy. - Overwork.

She's having a breakdown, poor kid. I gotta do something!

Connie, are you all right?

- Babe, guess what? - What?

I'm going to the prom tomorrow.

So that's it.

Wonderful! Who are you going with?

- You'll never guess. - Then you better tell me.

Oh, I know it seems impossible, but...

...he likes me. - Who?

Tommy.

- Tommy Marlowe. - Tommy!

Connie, I think I ought to warn you. Pat...

Oh, Pat! He told me all about that.

- It's all over. - Are you sure?

Oh, of course, I'm sure. Don't spoil my fun, Babe.

- What should I wear? - A suit of armor.

Just think, I'm going out with a football hero.

Yay, Marlowe! Come on, Marlowe! Touchdown!

Tommy! Tommy!

Oh, I was so thrilled! You made a football fan out of me overnight.

Oh, Tommy, I was so mistaken about you.

But today, when I saw you on the field...

...I suddenly realized that maybe I was so rude to you...

...because I really liked you.

But I didn't want to like you as much as I could...

...if I really let myself.

Pat, this is crazy. It's wonderful! I don't know what to say.

I know what to say.

Can I go with you to the prom tonight?

Can you? Oh, this is terrific!

Wait a minute. What about Van Dyne?

He just doesn't matter. Poor Peter, he's really so stuffy.

I should've known the minute you saw me play a game.

This is wonderful. It's the greatest day of my life!

I win the opening game and you at the same time.

Mademoiselle...

...voulez-vous accompany moi à la prom ce soir?

Your French is beautiful.

Enchantée, monsieur, enchantée.

See you tonight, then.

Tonight.

Connais-tu le pays? Connais-tu, connais-tu? Con...

Connie!

372-J, please.

So I said, ''Herbert, if you think I'm one of those red-hot mamas...

...you're very badly mistaken.''

372-J, please.

That's right.

I said, ''You may think you're a sheik...

...but your harem has to do without me.

That is, unless you change your tune.''

372-J, please.

- Hey, Janet. - Wait.

- Well, you certainly took long enough. - It's all yours, June.

Georgia, look. I got an orchid!

- Look, Joe sent me an orchid. - Oh, boy!

My, that powder!

- Those from Bill? - Aren't they pretty?

Beautiful.

I said, ''I don't think the car's out of gas.

If you think I'm walking home, you've got another guess coming.

I brought my roller skates. And furthermore...''

Flo, for Pete's sakes! You've been on that telephone for two hours.

Oh, well, goodbye, Sally.

Who's taking me to the dance? Well, who do you think? Herbert!

- How do I look? - You don't look like a librarian.

- I don't feel like one. - Connie, telephone call for you.

Babe, I was working on that step you were doing.

- I know it starts like this... - No, you're all wrong.

You throw your hip out like this. Then you do...

Oh, that's cute like that.

That's where that comes in. Oh, I love that step.

Vamoose, Flo. See you later.

Okay, sure. See you later.

Don't tell me. I know.

He broke the date. He's going with Pat.

Babe, I feel so awful.

Oh, Connie, don't cry. Please.

How could he do that?

Call up at the last minute? He's horrible.

He's just so dumb.

He is not dumb.

He got 100 percent on his first French exam.

It's all my fault. I sicced her onto him. I had to open my big mouth!

Gee, Connie, I didn't know you liked him.

Fine friend I turned out to be.

Oh, don't blame yourself.

He didn't have to change his mind the minute she came running.

Not if he didn't want to.

I guess he wanted to.

Hey, Babe, you ready?

Connie, I'll stay here with you.

Oh, that's sweet, but it wouldn't help either one of us.

Well, there must be a way of fixing this. I'll try.

No, don't. Don't try to fix anything.

I don't want him anymore.

You have a good time.

Well, what'll you do?

Oh, I'll read my favorite book...

...Les Misérables.

Have fun.

Goodbye.

I thought I'd found my ideal man

I always knew he'd arrive

Though he's a true heart-appeal man

He doesn't know I'm alive

But I don't spend my time in grieving

I've learned the trick Of make-believing

So if I can't have my real man

There's only one way to thrive

Just imagine

That he loves me dearly

Just imagine

That I'm his sincerely

I'm pretending

That he's sending

Love notes ending

''I love you''

Seems that he's there

As the day is closing

On his knees there

I hear him proposing

He's not present

Still it's pleasant

To just imagine

That it's true

Come on, hurry up. Break it up.

We want to see if we have a game here Saturday.

Marlowe, Marlowe.

''D'' in English.

''D'' in history.

''D'' in physics.

''C'' in biology. He never got those marks before.

He hasn't been studying. McClellan is leading him around by the nose.

- He just made it. - Yeah? Where's the French marks?

They're not posted yet.

I passed everything. Guess I'll play in the game Saturday.

You're a genius. All we have to do is worry about Tommy.

Where is he?

Hey, Babe, you passed everything!

I did?

Bobby! Bobby! I told you last night I'd pass.

Hey, did you see him last night?

Here comes Tommy.

Well, kids, here I is.

- Darling, it's ''here I am.'' - It's only slang.

I don't like you to speak badly.

Okay, darling. Hi, coach. Hi, Poochie.

Hello, darling.

Well, do I play Saturday?

- Yeah, you passed everything. - But...

- ''But''? - The French marks aren't up yet.

You're not gonna worry about that. My best subject.

Saturday's my big day. We'll mop up the field with Colton.

- I hope so. - And don't forget.

Saturday's a big day for another reason.

Don't you remember?

Oh, yeah, sure.

Well, shall we tell everybody?

Yes. Yes, why not?

Listen, everybody. Saturday, after Tommy wins the big game...

Oh, you tell them, Tommy.

All I wanted to say, kids, was that...

...after the big game with Colton Saturday...

...Pat and I are gonna announce our engagement.

- Holy mackerel! - What is it?

''F.''

- They can't do this to me. - Can't? They did.

Well, that's that.

''That's that''? We've gotta do something.

You've gotta play that game Saturday.

I know. The dean!

Come in.

The dean and Professor Kennyon have decided to give Marlowe...

...a re-examination in French tomorrow afternoon.

How nice for him.

When can you start coaching him?

- Me? - Sure.

Yes, you. Marlowe says you're the best.

Tell Mr. Marlowe I thank him for the compliment, but I'm too busy.

Tell him to ask Miss McClellan.

- She says... - I don't want them to bother you.

Pat speaks French, but she's not up on her grammar...

- Tell Mr. Marlowe, ''Quel fromage.'' - What?

I don't care what you think about Marlowe...

...but that game next Saturday is a dead duck without him.

- I don't care whether he plays or not. - You don't?

You'd lose the game for us?

You're building the foundations of a lifetime guilt complex!

I know how you feel, but you've no choice.

- It's for dear old Tait. - You gotta do something.

All right, for dear old Tait.

Tell Mr. Marlowe I'll meet him at the sorority house at 8:00.

In the kitchen.

Gee, thanks, Connie.

Now name the verbs that take être instead of avoir.

Aller, tomber, sortir...

...partir, venir...

I can't think of any more.

That's hardly the right attitude. You have an exam to pass.

Yeah, I know.

Kennyon is devoting his time to giving you this chance.

I'm giving up my time. The least you can do is concentrate.

I keep thinking of so many other things.

Connie, won't you even talk to me?

You were doing splendidly with those verbs. Would you try them again?

The moon belongs

To everyone

The best things in life

Are free

The stars belong

To everyone

They gleam there

For you and me

The flowers in spring

The robins that sing

The sunbeams that shine

They're yours

They're mine

And love

Can come to everyone

The best things in life

Are free

The flowers in spring

The robins that sing

Let me say I'm sorry. You haven't talked to me for two months.

There's nothing to talk about.

You'd better study, because if you study, you'll play.

And if you play, you'll win.

When you win, you'll be engaged to Pat. Isn't that what you want?

Yeah, sure.

That's what I want.

Finish that translation, then we'll be through for the night.

The best things in life

The best things in life

La lune, c'est à tout le monde

On n'a pas besoin d'argent

Le ciel, c'est là pour tout le monde

On n'a pas besoin d'argent

Les fleurs de printemps

Les oiseaux qui chantent

Ces belles choses sont tout

Pour moi

Pour vous

And love can come

To everyone

The best things in life

Are free

How am I doing?

Just a few little mistakes.

Mistakes.

I've made one after the other, starting with breaking that date with you.

Oh, that was no mistake. You got what you wanted.

Yeah, I guess so.

Gee, it's funny to think about being engaged.

I wonder what it's like to be stuck with one person for life.

If it were the right one, you wouldn't see yourself as stuck.

I didn't exactly mean ''stuck.''

I mean, well...

Do you ever think about yourself after college, settled down and married?

Of course. I guess every girl has a pretty good idea of what she wants.

What do you want?

Oh, I guess I'd like to have a family to bring up...

...and be able to go to concerts and theaters, balcony seats...

...and have people over to the house, a nice little house.

A vine-covered cottage?

Or an apartment.

I guess the important thing is finding the right fellow.

It sounds pretty dull to you, doesn't it?

No, it sounds wonderful.

What do you want?

Well, I guess I...

Hello.

Just came in to see how the lesson's going.

The patient will live.

I didn't know a French lesson included singing love songs.

You were listening.

I heard Tommy's voice, and I naturally thought he was singing for me.

I need hardly remind you that we're practically engaged.

Making a play for a practically engaged man is a very unladylike thing to do.

So is listening at keyholes.

Oh, don't worry, Pat.

Tommy will get all the answers right because he loves you.

Even if he didn't, I wouldn't want him.

I wouldn't want him if he were the last man here.

You picked the perfect mate for yourself.

He's inconsiderate, vain, selfish, and you can't believe a word he says.

And the same goes for you. You deserve to be stuck with each other.

Congratulations! I know you'll both be very happy.

I wonder where Connie is. What's going on?

Well, do you want to correct it?

Oh, he passed, all right. It's almost silly to look.

Well, we'll see.

- What is this? Some kind of a joke? - What?

Listen to this. ''Name the French verbs that take être.''

Answer: ''Hit her over the head with a hockey stick.''

What?

''Give the French word for 10 objects in the room.''

Answer: ''The best things in life are free.''

Go ahead.

''Write an essay in French describing your home.'' He answered in English.

''A vine-covered apartment with people on the balcony and 12 children.''

- Oh, that's wonderful! - Wonderful?

- Professor, do you know what this means? - I certainly do not.

- It means he loves me. - What?

- He loves me. - What are you talking about?

He knows French. He could've passed, but he wanted to flunk. Don't you see?

No, I don't see.

He didn't pass so he couldn't play, so he wouldn't be engaged to Pat.

He loves you so much he'd even lose the game for the school?

And I love him too.

Just a minute, Connie.

You tell me this boy really knows his French?

He knows it cold.

I've got to admire him. He made a big sacrifice...

...giving up something that must mean a good deal to him, winning that game.

It means a good deal to the school too.

I know, but...

As you are aware, I'm not the school's greatest football enthusiast...

...but under the circumstances...

...I think I ought to pass him. - Pass him?

You'd feel guilty if he didn't play in that game.

But if he wins, Pat's got him.

Work out your personal problems without involving the whole school.

I'm afraid you'll have to find some other way.

Well, I hate to say it, but I guess you're right.

Well, I'll leave it up to you.

Shall I pass him?

- Hey, Connie! - Did he pass?

Here she comes now.

- Come on. - Let us know!

After carefully considering Mr. Marlowe's...

...unusual examination paper...

...and being somewhat surprised...

...at the rather remarkable answers to some of the questions...

...Professor Kennyon has decided that...

Well, he's interested...

...and though he doesn't approve of some of the phrasing used...

...he feels that Mr. Marlowe has demonstrated...

...a real feeling for the language.

Well, what is it?

He passed.

Marlowe showed them A thing or two

He's a ladies' man

He's a ''wow'' With the parlez-vous

So Marlowe Big man on the campus

Marlowe, it's all up to you

To come through!

Number 16, pass.

Hike.

What does that lug Marlowe think he's doing? Playing tiddlywinks?

He sure isn't trying very hard to win.

Trying to win? He's the best man Colton has!

Isn't his little woman here to spur him on to glory?

Pat's at the house fixing her prom dress.

I suppose she figures the game's in the bag.

Beef, are you hurt?

Take a breath.

- That hurt? - A little.

- Doc, how bad is it? - Can't tell until we take an x-ray.

Come over to the infirmary.

We'd better finish the game here.

- But I didn't... - Take it easy. Save your strength.

We may need you for the Maypole dance next spring.

You're all invited.

That's right, laugh. Enjoy yourselves.

Popcorn! Cracker Jacks! Champagne for everyone!

All right!

You thought I'd come in here and bawl the living daylights out of you.

Scream. Rant! Lose my mind!

But nothing like that's gonna happen. I'm perfectly calm.

I'm not gonna let a little old football game upset me!

Take it easy.

I could tell you what you've done wrong, but you know what you did.

Zubrowski, that end run.

Hepple! Hepple, where were you?

Sternsdorf, offside three times.

Fifteen yards!

Thompson.

Thompson, haven't you heard?

The forward pass has been legal for 15 years.

Okay! What's the use?

Of course, I know the one thing that's really wrong.

Marlowe, you're not playing at all.

If you'd get in there and play, they'd all play with you.

- What's eating you, Tommy? - Nothing. I'm all right.

''All right''?

You're so all right, you'll spend the rest of the game on the bench.

That's final!

All right. Ha!

If you're all right, then I'm crazy. I'll prove it to you.

Turner, come here.

Me, sir?

Our two best players are out of the game.

So I thought it'd be an interesting form of suicide to put you in.

Gee, that's great, coach.

I'll kill them. I'll kill them!

I'll tear them apart. I'll show them.

For dear old Tait, I'll do or die!

What spirit! Look at that. There's inspiration for you.

New blood in the game. That good old Tait spirit. And no one can beat it.

You won't let all those people down.

Not all those people out there!

Not all those little old ladies who sweep up the stadium.

I mean...

That's it! Bobby!

Bobby, my boy.

Fellas, get up off your benches and get in there and fight!

I wish I had a broken rib.

You shouldn't say that. You still got a chance to win.

Win what? The game?

And Pat too. Don't you want to announce your engagement to her?

Not when I'm in love with Connie.

Connie?!

Connie!

Beef! Here we are.

- You all right? - I'll be x-rayed.

Down in front.

You can't just sit here. Tommy's losing the game!

What can I do?

He said if he wins, he gets the wrong girl because he loves you!

Aw, sit down!

You mean Tommy really loves Connie?

Yeah, and she's gotta give him a pep talk.

But if I do, then I lose him forever.

Holy smoke! You mean it's true?

Then we gotta do something. You love him. He loves you.

We gotta get rid of Pat.

Why did I ever tell her Tommy was the Pickle King?

Pickle King?

Have you got your brother-in-law's car?

- Sure. Have you seen it? - No, but I'd love to.

- We're going. - You gonna talk to Tommy?

I'm going to the house. See you later.

- But my x-rays. - Yes!

Faster.

I don't understand.

Oh, please, Beef, I've got to concentrate.

There. You wait here, Beef.

If someone comes out before I do, give her a lift.

- All right, but I don't understand. - You will.

I'm glad you're back. The sink...

Never mind that. You've got to help me.

- Have you ever acted in a play? - What?

I mean, have you ever recited lines like...

...Sarah Bernhardt or Ethel Barrymore? You know.

- You mean play-acting? - Yes. Come on.

Wait a minute. I've written it all down. Don't talk till you get there.

Oh, Cora! I'm so unhappy!

Oh, Cora, I had to come back from the game.

I couldn't stand it anymore. It's so awful.

We're winning!

Tommy is piling up touchdown after touchdown.

And by tonight, he'll be engaged to that awful Pat McClellan.

I hate her!

''Now, now, Miss Connie, you better forget all about it.

He loves her and that's all there is to it.''

''Oh, I can't stand it! She's got him for life.''

''Does she love him?''

''Oh, I suppose she does.

After all, she stuck by him, even through what just happened.''

''Through what just happened?''

''Haven't you heard?

Tommy's father, the Pickle King, he's gone bankrupt.''

''Really?''

''Yes. A terrible cucumber blight in Iowa.

He's a ruined man. Tommy is penniless!''

''No!''

''Well, I guess Pat won't mind.

She'll be glad to scrimp and scrub and save and sew...

...because she'll have him. After all...

...when you have love, money doesn't really matter.

Does it, Cora?''

''Does it, Cora?'' I mean, I mean...

''She could clear 15...

...or 20 taking in washing.''

''Oh, but she has such pretty hands.''

''Oh, well, it's her problem now.''

''Poor child. Why don't you go back to the game?''

''No, I can't watch anymore.

Beef drove me over. He's outside now.

He's been paying a lot of attention to me ever since...

...Babe gave him back his fraternity pin.

But I guess I love Tommy too much.''

''Beef is a very fine fellow, no.''

''Oh, a girl could do worse.

Just think, he's one of the richest boys at Tait.

Dairy products, you know.

Worth millions!

Have you seen that new car of his?''

''Oh, my, it is a wow. Yes.''

''Just think. Such a catch...

...and completely unattached.

Maybe I'd better hold on to him before someone else gets there.''

- Was it all right? - Marvelous!

Gee, why must everyone get literary in my car?

Please forgive me, Beef. This is very important.

You will forgive me, won't you?

Gee, I'd forgive you anything.

Ready. Hike!

Hey, Tommy, I've got something for you.

''Can't stand in the way of true love.

Make big sacrifice. Give you up. Pat.''

Hey, Beef! This is it! Hey! Thanks.

Coach! I'm all right now. May I go in?

Marlowe, I can't figure it.

We got three minutes. Go ahead.

All right, 32 is our only chance.

Bobby, you know the play? Okay, hike.

Tommy, we've been looking for you. Where have you been?

Wait a minute. Wait. Has anyone seen Connie?

I've gotta go.

So we're on the 40-yard line, and I've got the ball.

So I turn around...

I got squatter's rights!

All right, break it up, girls.

Come here, woman, and kiss me.

Where's Beef? I'm not afraid of him.

Hey, Beef! Are you looking?

Gee, I used to think I had a mother fixation.

You're not a bit like her.

I like you better.

Beefy, you're a panic.

- Do you think he's here? - Of course he is.

I can't understand why he didn't call.

He still thinks that you don't like him.

After five minutes, you'll be in each others' arms.

- Really? - Check, please.

Oh, Van Dyne.

Would you take Miss Lane inside? I left my pipe.

- I'd be delighted. - Thank you, Peter.

You just look adorable tonight.

Why, Peter.

Van Dyne!

Who'd you expect her to come with, Professor Kennyon?

I don't know what to expect. I'm going home.

- Marlowe. - Yes, sir?

- Where are you rushing off to? - I'm going home.

- Isn't it a bit early? - Yes, sir.

Don't leave so soon. I think there's someone inside looking for you.

- Who? - Connie Lane, to be exact.

She can't stand the sight of me.

So you're going home?

You're just leaving?

Slinking away like Napoleon from Waterloo.

Did you speak to her?

You didn't even speak to her?

What's the matter with you?

You don't do this in football. In a losing battle, you try harder!

Don't give up. How do you know she doesn't love you?

What is it your coach says? You've got to?

- Get in there... - Yes! Get in there and fight.

Good luck.

Connie!

Connie?

Oh, it's you. I thought you'd left.

How'd you know?

Somebody told me.

Well, I almost left.

What stopped you?

Nothing stopped me, I'm leaving now.

Where are you going?

Where am I going? I'm going home! Where do people generally go?

Home.

You staying?

Oh, yes. I'm having a lovely time.

Why don't you go back inside?

I like it out here.

I think it's utterly delightful out here.

And besides, no one's gonna tell me where to go! Why don't you go inside?

I'm leaving. I don't have to go inside.

Then why don't you leave?

Because I love you!

That's a ridiculous thing to say.

Well, I said it.

- I'm glad. - What?

I'm glad!

- Oh, you are? - Yes.

In that case, I've got a lot of things to say.

For instance?

Remember the day when you gave me the French lesson?

There are a lot of things you could teach me...

...and that's the way I want it to be.

You name it. I'll do anything you say.

- Anything? - Try me.

Down on your heels.

Down on my heels?

Up on your toes.

Up on my toes? What's that?

That's the way to do the Varsity Drag

We've always thought Knowledge is naught

We should be taught

To dance

Right here at Tait We're up-to-date

We teach a great

New dance

Don't think that I brag

I speak of the Drag

Why should a sheik Learn how to speak

Latin and Greek

Badly?

Give him a neat Motto complete

Say it with feet Gladly

First lesson right now

You'll love it And how you'll love it

Here is the Drag See how it goes

Down on your heels Up on your toes

That's the way to do the Varsity Drag

Hotter than hot Newer than new

Meaner than mean Bluer than blue

Gets as much applause As waving the flag

You can pass many a class

Whether you're dumb or wise

If you all answer the call

When your professor cries

''Everybody, down on the heels

Up on the toes

Stay after school Learn how it goes''

Everybody do the Varsity Drag

Here is the Drag

See how it goes

Down on your heels

Up on your toes

That's the way to do the Varsity Drag

Hotter than hot

Newer than new

Meaner than mean

Bluer than blue

Gets as much applause As waving the flag

You can pass many a class

Whether you're dumb or wise

If you all answer the call

When your professor cries

''Down on your heels

Up on your toes

Stay after school

Learn how it goes''

Every

Everybody

Step right up and do The Varsity Drag

The boy Garçon

Gets girl La fille

That's good C'est bon

The show fini

The moral to this tale is Learn to parlez-vous

Send her a billet doux

Tell her Her eyes are blue

They sure are blue!

Je vous adore Means I love you

Come here to me

Good news!