Original subtitles

[eerie music playing]

[shovel scraping]

[man grunting]

[ghost moans]

Hm?

[eerie music continues playing]

[ghost moans]

[eerie music continues playing]

[ghost moans]

- [whooshes] - [twig creaks]

[eerie music crescendos]

Ma'am.

- [eerie music intensifies] - [grunting]

[choking]

[music stops]

- [suspenseful music playing] - [grunts]

[eerie music playing]

["Somebody's Gonna Get Their Head Kicked In Tonight" by Quarter Punks playing]

♪ Well now the kids are rockin' ♪

- ♪ And everyone is feelin' alright ♪ - ♪ Alright

♪ It's on a Friday evening There's sure gonna be a fight ♪

♪ A fight

♪ I say somebody's gonna get their head kicked in tonight ♪

- [woman] Guys, stop. - All right, that's enough.

That's enough.

Next. Come on.

I said stop!

- [singing continues] - Get off!

♪ Night! Night! Night!

Yeah! Yeah!

- [beeps] - [man over PA] Aloha, kids.

Don't forget to buy your tickets

for the Hawaiian Hula Prom tonight.

Tickets are on sale outside the main office or at the door.

Aloha!

[upbeat music playing]

[shouts]

Get your prom tickets, only 50 bucks.

- What a rip-off. - You know, it's gonna be a very special night--

[belches]

That's okay. [chuckles] Get your prom tickets.

Greetings and welcome

- to the 59th official Sci-Fi Club meeting. - Wait, hold on.

Isn't this supposed to be the Amnesty International meeting?

- They're here at 3:00. - Guys, guys, stay.

- [Rod] Hey, we got food coming. - [student] Dork.

- [bell rings] - [Steven] Scalpel cam.

Mm, oh, yeah.

Nasty. [groans]

Looks great on the macro lens.

I'm just gonna have to take your word for it.

I cannot wait to take you to the prom tonight.

Okay, Jimmy, we gotta get to work. Come on.

Oh, don't tell me. Tell the frog.

[as frog] You can have all of me, Lindsey, my love,

cut me open, take my heart. It is yours.

[as Jimmy] I feel the same way, froggy.

[chuckles] And so do I, froggy.

Jimmy, quit acting like an idiot and dissect your frog.

And, you, how many times have I told you shut that camera off

before I break it? You, cheerleader,

take your scalpel and cut open your frog.

I can't. I like frogs.

There's the stomach.

There's the liver. There's the pancreas.

There's the brains. Look at it.

[exhales] What a dick.

What was that?

Oh, um, I was just saying, you know,

what an inspiration you are to all of us, sir.

I mean, it's teachers like you that really make a difference.

Stand up.

Seeing as we're dissecting animals today, class,

I'd like everyone to take a look at this one...

James Dunn,

Jimmy Dunn Dunn Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb.

Notice the brain devoid of all intelligent thought,

capable of only a C-minus average,

barely passing high school.

The mouth, big and loud,

always running with nothing to say.

Note the hands,

only worthy of working at a drive-though,

a loser, a nothing,

a nobody.

You may be seated.

Um, Mr. Hammond, you forgot one organ.

And I think you know what you can do with that.

[students jeering, laughing]

See you in detention.

Man, why did I get in trouble?

- Guilty by association. Sorry. - [door opens]

- [Kyle] Man, fuck this school. - [door thuds]

[Castlemoody] Kyle.

- Kyle. - [rock music playing]

Do not make me call the police again. Sit down.

Relax.

Shh. Please.

[grunts]

Are you recording?

Hey, this is Kyle Grubin. This is our strength test!

[pained cries]

[shouts]

Yeah!

- You faggots looking at something? - No.

I wonder which one of his sisters he's taking to the prom.

Dude, shut up.

I heard he carries a gun in his truck.

Dunn, you're up.

Just relax. He can't even hear me.

Yo.

- Uh! - [body thuds]

[grunts]

["Life Is Good" by Junk playing]

That was amazing.

- Uh, okay. - [chuckling]

It looks really good on camera.

So, um, I heard your date to the prom got sick.

- Yeah. - Still going?

I wanted to talk to you about that.

Really? Wow. [chuckles] Uh...

[Jules] You can do it, Steven! Woo-hoo!

Are those the...

- [Steven] Yeah, the... the sci-fi guys. - Woo-hoo!

Total geeks.

Do you know them?

- No. [chuckles awkwardly] - [Jules] Come on, Steven, ask her!

- Use the force, Steven, the force! - Go! Come on! Come on!

Will you guys shut up? I'm trying to talk to Gwen!

So should I ask him?

Him?

Him.

[rock music crescendos]

Nash Rambler.

Nash? [scoffs] The band guy? He's, like, 30.

I mean, you're a guy, Steve. What would you say?

Yeah, I... I'd say yes.

Really? Okay.

[exhales] I'm gonna go ask him.

- Oh, right now? - Wish me luck, okay?

Yeah.

Good luck.

[Jules] Hey, listen, listen, listen. Forget her.

We have got a serious Sci-Fi Club meeting tonight.

- [Rod] Yes, we do, baby. Yes, we do. - Bring your camera.

Bring your camera, all right?

Jules, I'm not going to another robotics convention.

Ha ha ha, funny. Child's play, my friend. Child's play.

Listen, I want you to focus.

Great secrets will be revealed tonight, my young Gandalf.

You got that?

Steven, I know it hurts, okay?

- That's right, man. Let it out. - Oh, let it out.

- [chortles] - Steven, Steven, your destiny awaits.

- Your destiny, Steven. - Destiny, Steven, destiny.

Destiny.

My destiny was back there.

Come on, dude.

[door opens]

There are three A's in "Hawaiian." [chuckles]

And we have ten hours until this dance starts.

Okay, so either you work with me, people,

or you get the eff out of here.

Sorry. [chuckles] Sorry.

I'm just super stressed.

Hey. Hey, hey, hey, don't worry about it.

I'll take care of it.

Hey, can we get someone to take that down, please?

Thanks.

So I heard Jimmy got kicked out

of Hammond's class again.

Yeah.

Are you seriously going to prom with him?

[chuckles] Mitch, we've talked about this.

I am going to prom with Jimmy.

In the pizza wagon? Please.

[laughter]

You wanna smell like pepperonis

or vanilla bean air freshener?

- [rock music playing on stereo] - [sniffs]

Do you smell that?

Something's in the air.

This town always smells like ass, man.

[Jensen] No, no, this is... this is bad.

Between global warming and smog

and that freakin' power plant down the block,

we... we're killing ourselves, bro.

- Am I interrupting? - [in unison] No.

[exhales] I... I'm Gwen from third hour.

You do good flips.

Thanks.

Um, I... I was wondering,

are you taking anyone to the prom tonight?

I mean, I was gonna go, but then my date ate bad spinach,

so now I'm going solo.

Yep, solo.

Are you taking anyone yet?

I'd rather chew my tongue off with a mouthful of gasoline

than go to that fucking dance.

- May I ask why? - Because we refuse to listen

to the Piñata Heads play. That's why.

If Quarter Punks don't play, Quarter Punks don't go.

Tell you what, go ahead and skip that prom,

come over and watch us play,

and afterwards, you can give me head.

[Jimmy] Ow.

[Coach Keel] Shut up and stare, goofball.

- This is detention, not dreamland. - Yes, sir.

I thought I told you to say nothin'.

So, what do you say when I say to say nothin'?

Nothing.

You must think I'm a real idiot, don't ya?

Oh, so you do think I'm an idiot then?

Answer me, boy!

Sir, you told me not to talk.

Then what the hell are you talking to me right now then for, sissy boy?

That's 30 more minutes of watching the Brick Channel for you.

All brick all the time.

You may not believe this, Dunn, but I'm trying to help you.

You do wanna do somethin' with your life, don't ya?

Yes, you do.

You don't wanna wind up alone, Dunn.

Credit card debt up the wazoo,

nobody to talk to but your dog,

ex-wife won't return your phone calls

'cause she's a bitter, fat, stinking piece of hog meat.

What are you looking at?

Drop and give me 50 and count 'em off!

[Jimmy] Everyone thinks prom is this big event

that they're gonna remember for the rest of their life,

but, really, it's just an excuse for kids to get together

and get freaky on the dance floor.

You'll forget it in ten years.

[chuckles] No, I won't.

Yeah, you will.

Will you forget us in ten years?

Maybe, if I have Alzheimer's.

Oh, gee, how sweet.

[laughs] Oh, Jimmy, did you even get me a corsage?

Pfft, no. I got us a motel room, though.

You know, Jimmy, it would be really nice

if you were romantic for once, you know?

I'm romantic.

That thing this morning with the frog,

that got a huge laugh.

[giggles] Is everything a joke to you?

Yes, it is.

Well, I'm not a joke. [chuckles] I'm a woman.

And I'd like a corsage instead of a dead frog.

Wow, I'm sorry. [scoffs]

You called yourself a woman.

- [laughs] - That's it.

That's it. I am not going to prom with you.

- What? Are you serious? - Yes.

Unlike you, I am serious.

I'm not going to prom with you.

- You can't do that. - Yeah, I can.

- I... I just did. - Why?

Ugh. Jimmy...

you spend more time in detention than you do in class,

and everything is a joke to you, and it's just not funny anymore.

Prom.

["You Will Remember Tonight" by Andrew W.K. playing]

["You Will Remember Tonight" continues playing]

I'll never ask for anything else again. That's all I want.

I just wanna be prom queen. Please let me be prom queen.

["You Will Remember Tonight" continues playing]

This is gonna be awesome.

I'm so glad we're not going to prom. Hey, guys, you ready?

- [Rod] Yeah! - Let's lock and load!

[student] Prom, baby, yeah!

Whoo!

Stupid spinach.

["You Will Remember Tonight" continues playing]

Smell that? Vanilla bean, baby.

Have fun.

Don't get too drunk.

[phone ringing]

[Jimmy's boss] Dunn, I got a delivery for you.

No can do, boss. I'm going to prom.

It's my car you're driving, shitball. You do what I tell you.

Aye aye, Captain.

[car engine starts]

Freakin' boss.

[suspenseful music playing]

[Mitch] I... I know it's kind of strange,

but it's the best view in town.

Um, Mitch, I thought we were going to the dance.

Uh, we are. I just thought, since you've been working so hard,

we just, uh, take a breather, you know, loosen up a bit.

Uh...

[chuckles awkwardly]

[romantic music playing on stereo]

Yeah, so I was thinking

about running for student council again next year...

- Mm. - ...but I think I might just take a year off,

you know, give other people a chance to win.

But then I remembered what my dad always said,

"Never, never, never let other people win."

[Steven] We went to the cemetery last month, Jules.

[Jules] Yes, well, we did, but not with this.

- I got it from my brother who works at MIT. - [beeping]

- As an accountant. - Psh, whatever.

He snuck it out of R&D.

He said it was developed as, uh, some sort of prototype

to handle ultra-high-frequency levels

of... of extrasensory activity within a ten-foot radius.

- Nice. - Stop, stop.

- What does it say? - I don't know.

It didn't come with an instruction manual.

- Whoa! - Oh, shit!

Y'all boys shouldn't be here.

Oh, uh, we're... we're doing a research of my family tree.

My, uh, my uncle's buried from the Civil War, and he was shot,

- and... and we're looking for the, um, grave. - Yeah.

- Right, guys? Yeah. - [indistinct chatter]

- [spits] - [groans]

Stick to the path right here.

- Yes, sir. - Okay. [chuckles]

- Yes, sir. - Okay.

- What was that? - I don't know, man,

but I got the willies bad right now.

Yeah, in your pants. Come on, let's go.

You're the vice president. I'm the president.

He's... he's a joke.

I... I just mean

you deserve to be with somebody who... who respects you. Uh...

I really like you, Lindsey.

I... I just want you to be happy, that's all.

[romantic music playing on stereo]

Don't mess up my hair.

Hey, shut up!

There's people making out in there.

Come on.

George, get off me.

- George, come on! - Just leave me.

- [device beeping] - [Jules] This is it.

- Are you getting it? - [Steven] Yeah, yeah.

[Jules] This is definitely it.

- Oh, this thing is going crazy. - [beeping continues]

- Come on. - [Steven] Jules. Jules, what are you doing?

Okay, we saw it, Jules. It's very pretty. Let's go back.

Dude, it's open. Come on.

- We're not going in there. - Dude, we're not going in there.

You came all this way to turn around and go home?

Fine, go home, little girl, go home.

I'm going in. Come on.

- [door creaking] - Holy...

Oh, guys, you gotta see this.

- [whispers] Steven. - [Steven] Shut up.

Holy crap.

[George] Why is it on the floor?

Is that even sanitary?

- [Jules] Rod. - [Rod] What?

Open it.

I'm not even coming in there, man. You open it.

- George. - Screw it, Jules. I'm not gonna touch that thin.

Damn it, guys, somebody's gotta open it.

Since, Jules, you're the president of the Sci-Fi Club,

maybe you wanna, uh, be our leader

- and jump in there and try to... - Yeah.

All right, fine. I'll do it.

Pussies.

- [Steven] Still rolling, Jules. - [Jules] All right.

[suspenseful music intensifies]

[eerie music playing]

It's empty.

[Steven gasps]

[Rod] Help, help, help!

Christ!

[panting]

[flesh squishes]

[chewing]

You all right, Rod?

- [flesh squishing] - [slurping]

- [shrieks] - [all gasp, shout]

[growls]

[Steven] Come on!

[gasps]

There it is again.

It's just the seats.

No, it's moaning.

Sorry, my fault.

[Lindsey] Mm, I can't move my legs that way.

[Mitch] Got it.

Look, Mitch, I don't... I don't think you should...

It's okay.

- No, Mitch, really... - It's okay.

- No, Mitch, stop. - Shut up.

- Stop. [gasps] - Ah!

Mitch?

Mitch?

[Mitch screams in distance]

[low growling]

Ah!

Aw, hell.

[suspenseful music playing]

[growling]

- Come on, guys, come on, come on, come on! - Come on, come on!

- [body thuds] - I said...

- [zombie groans] - Oh!

...stay on the path.

What? You... you knew about this?

Why didn't you tell us?

Hey, man, I'm just trying to keep my job.

Hit 'em in the brain. It's the only way to kill 'em.

- [George] Guys. - [Steven] Run. Go.

[growling]

[shrieks]

[suspenseful music continues playing]

- [gasps] - [growling]

- Come on. Come on, come on, come on. - [engine starts, revs]

Ah!

[zombie] Brain!

- [George] Whoa! - [Steven] Heads-up!

- Go! - Uh! Oh!

[George] Go, go, go! Go, go, go!

- [zombies growling] - [engine revving]

[whimpers]

- [growling] - Ah!

- Oh, God! - Open the door!

- Lindsey, open the door! - [George] The door! The door!

- I just killed those people. - [zombie] Brains.

No, you didn't! Open the door!

[suspenseful music continues playing]

- [Steven] Get in. - [zombies growling]

[door bells jingle]

[low growling]

[chewing]

Hey, no eating in store.

[chewing]

[gulping, chewing]

[munching]

[loud rock music playing]

Oh, my God.

[ominous music playing]

[tapping]

[croaking]

- [ominous music continues] - [croaking]

[croaks]

[muffled grunts]

[ominous music intensifies]

[music stops]

Pizza Wagon.

Yum-yum, come get some.

Come on, people, I got a prom to go to...

without my girlfriend.

Ma'am, I see you.

- [growling] - Whoa! Uh, are... are you okay?

Uh, okay, all right. I'm gonna call 911.

Or not. Uh, someone help!

Anyone!

Ma'am, ma'am, I'm not gonna be able to help you

if you don't stop biting at me like that, okay?

- Uh, uh, sorry to interrupt. - [snarls]

[ominous music playing]

[zombies growling]

Here comes the neighborhood.

Smoking out of a devil bong, man.

[Dave, singsong] Devil bong!

[police sirens wailing]

- Devil bong. - Tss. [purrs]

Close the door, Jensen.

[Dave chuckles]

[slow dance music playing]

- [both laugh] - All right, that's what I'm talking about!

- Hey, you kids. - [whispers] It's Castlemoody.

- Is that beer? - No.

Give me that.

Yeah, you too, smart guy.

You're lucky I don't call your mamas.

Get back in there.

Get!

Punk-ass kids.

[slow dance music continues playing]

Ah!

[gasps] Oh, God.

Mr. Hammond, you scared the crap out of me.

What happened to your face, Frank?

- [Frank growls] - Ah!

[ominous music playing]

[ominous music continues playing]

Don't move or I'll scorch you.

[sobbing]

Kyle?

Jim.

They gone?

I don't know, but are you okay?

Get your hands off of me.

You're lucky I'm not kicking your ass right now.

Drop it, Kyle. It's tired.

What?

Your friends are dead and those things are coming back this way,

and I'd rather not be here when they do.

Man, piss off!

I ain't scared of nothin'. Nothin'.

Are you serious? I just heard you crying over there

like a bitch a second ago. So, don't-- [grunts]

How do I know you are not one of them, huh?

Give me one good reason why I shouldn't pop your head off right now!

Yo, man, they jacking your car.

- You assholes! Wait up! - Damn it!

My boss is gonna kill me.

Whoa.

Do you have a license for that?

No carnivorous cocksucker is gonna mess with me.

- Who are you calling? - Who do you think?

- The cops. - No, no cops.

- My daddy's a cop. - Great.

No, I hate my daddy. No cops.

Don't be ridiculous. We need them.

Who is the man with the gun?

[line rings]

Kyle, I'm on your side.

Those are the guys you wanna shoot.

Waste 'em!

What is taking you so long?

I have got to load it! All right?

Eh, come on, come on!

[groans]

[groans]

Wow. That was disturbing.

- Hey, watch this. - No!

Ah!

Sorry, Gwen, it was a mistake.

Jimmy, are you crazy?

- [zombie growls] - [Gwen] Ah!

[clicks]

[both grunting]

[Kyle yells]

Ah! Ahh!

[grunting]

- [yelling] - [grunting]

[bones crack]

- [growling] - [grunting]

- [growling] - Whoo!

[pained cry]

[grunting]

Jimmy!

I gotta get out of here.

[Jimmy] Come on, man, wait up.

- [Jules] Just... just go, just drive! - [Lindsey] I'm driving!

- Stop arguing and drive! - I'm not arguing. I'm just...

[Jules] We're all gonna die because of you.

- [Steven] Jules, shut up. - [Jules] Listen, don't tell me to shut up.

I'm riding shotgun. I got the second-most power in this car.

[Steven] I keep dialing 911, but the number's busy.

- [Jules] How can it be busy? - I don't know.

- Just keep dialing then. - I... I have been.

Just dial the number. Now, it's 911.

- 411's information. - Thanks, Jules, thanks.

[George] Aren't you, uh, Jimmy Dunn's girlfriend?

Uh-huh.

Then whose car is this?

[engine sputtering]

[Jules] Go! Go, go, go, go! What are you...

- [Steven] Oh, oh! Don't stop the car. - [Jules] Why are you stopping?

[Lindsey] I didn't... I didn't do anything. It just stopped.

- They ripped through the engine? - Yeah, apparently so.

What... what are we gonna do? What are we gonna do, guys?

Does anyone have a plan or something?

Why don't you shut up and try thinking of one yourself, princess, okay?

Hey, easy.

Let's not bite each other's heads off.

[scoffs] That's kind of funny. [chuckles]

It is kind of funny, dude. I didn't really think of it like that.

Man, it works kind of both ways. You know, it's funny, but it's not.

Guys, if you don't straighten up,

you're gonna end up like Rod.

That's not cool, man.

- What is she doing? - [line ringing]

Lindsey, let's go! Come on!

[exhales] It's chicks like that

- that make me glad I don't have a girlfriend. - Yeah.

- What's that supposed to mean? - Pick up, Jimmy.

Please pick up.

[line ringing]

Jimmy?

Oh, it's Jimmy. Hey, guys, it's... it's Jimmy.

Jimmy! Jimmy!

Thank God he's alive.

[ominous music playing]

Jimmy?

Brain.

Oh, it's not Jimmy.

- Run! - [cloth rips]

[Lindsey gasps]

My dress.

[grunts]

You made me rip my dress.

- [growls] - Oh!

[Jules] Go, go, go!

- Guys, it's locked. - Open it! Turn the knob!

[grunts]

- Shut the door! Shut the door! - No! Shut up, Jules. She's coming.

- Shut the door. - Come on, Lindsey, let's go!

- Hurry up! Hurry up! - Don't look back! Don't look back!

- He's right behind you! - Don't look back! Come on!

[zombie grunting]

- There's more coming. - Okay, guys, we need to board up this door.

Find whatever you can and use it.

We need to board up these windows and that door too, all right? Let's go.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, who put you in charge?

I am vice president of the student council.

Oh, yeah? Well, I'm president of the Sci-Fi Club.

And you're the genius who brought us here tonight. I'm with her.

Okay, come on, guys. Let's get this couch, move it in front of the door.

Here, George, over here. Steven, right there.

Go, come on, faster. And, you, hold this.

Wait a second. No, no, no, no, we're not staying.

Jules, either help out or get the eff out of the way, okay?

- [crash] - [screaming]

[gunshots]

[Gwen] Why is this happening?

End of the world.

- God's flushing the toilet. - [glass shatters]

His way of saying, "Y'all couldn't work it out,

so adiós."

I didn't take you for a religious man, Kyle.

I just tell it like the Bible does.

I'm gonna need years of therapy after this.

- [scoffs] - Gwen, it's gonna be okay.

- Liar. - Shut up, Kyle.

[keypad beeps]

- [phone ringing] - Dude, watch the window.

Oh, thank God it's Jimmy.

Hey, hey, Lindsey, are you all right?

[gasps] Tell her I say hi.

- Where are you? - Um, where are we?

- Hey, guys, where are we right now? - I don't know!

I think we're at a corner of Oak, in the house near Millpond.

Oak and... and Millpond?

Yeah, yeah, Oak and Millpond? We can get there from here.

Just stay right where you are. I'll come and get you.

Really?

Of course.

I'll be there.

Okay.

Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Hey, who said you get to go get your girl?

She's with other people, Kyle. That's better protection.

She'd better be worth it.

She is.

[suspenseful music playing]

[Jimmy grunts]

We can crawl across town down here without them ever seeing us.

I used to play down here when I was a little kid.

You was one messed-up little kid, huh?

- Yeah. - Me too.

[Gwen] Hurry!

Go on. Go on, girl!

- [suspenseful music intensifies] - [growling]

Come on, this way.

- [Gwen] Oh, my God. It stinks. - Whoa.

[Gwen] What is that?

Is that poop?

[exhales] That shit ain't shit.

Hey, somethin' wrong with that shit.

[Gwen] Must you curse so much?

[Jimmy] Looks like the power plant's been dumping

something fierce down here.

[Gwen] This town's, like, marinating in it.

[Jimmy] It must have finally reached its boiling point.

[Gwen] Ugh, I shouldn't be here right now.

I should be at prom in a beautiful dress,

slow-dancing with Nash or... or somebody.

[Kyle] Hey, I'm somebody.

[Kyle laughs, grunts]

So, what we got is, uh,

"I slept with my third-grade teacher."

Teacher... What rhymes with "teacher"?

- She was a sexual creature. - Preacher. Preacher.

- No, no, "creature" is the way to go. - Sexual creature. Yeah.

So, "She was a sexual creature.

She always made me feel all right."

- She kept me up at night. - She flew my kite. [chuckles]

Dude, chill out, man. Seriously, stay in the circle here.

Okay, like it. I like it.

"She made me feel all right.

- "She kept me up all night." - Kept me up all night.

- "She taught me the ways of multiplication." - Multiplication. Yeah.

Multiplication, that's what she taught.

And led to my first masturbation.

Goddamn, no, Jensen, man.

You've hotboxed the entire garage.

I swear, you've smoked us all stupid.

- Go open the door. - Open the door, go.

- "Masturbation." - I can't even hear myself think.

How do you expect me to get to the next level with this song?

[chuckles]

One of you jokers laced my joint with formaldehyde again?

Whoa.

[growling]

- [twanging] - Huh?

[feedback squealing]

[growling]

[loud music starts playing]

[loud music continues]

[Kyle] You wanna touch my mohawk?

- Kyle, would you stop? - You smell good.

- God. - I think this is it.

I am not going in there.

- [zombies growl] - [Gwen gasps]

Okay, go, go, go.

It's dark. Come on.

Come on, if we're goin'.

Hello?

Lindsey?

[Gwen] Creepy.

[Jimmy] There's... there's a light.

A door. Come on.

Yeah, yeah, this is it.

[loud thud]

[Lindsey] Jimmy.

Oh, you've found us.

[chuckles] I'm so glad you're okay.

Steven, I'm okay.

[giggles] Oh, you've got your tux.

You look nice.

You look wonderful, baby.

Mm, you can let go now.

[chuckles] Sorry. Yeah.

- Awkward, dude. - [grunts]

Oh, shit. Hey, Kyle Grubin, what are you doing here?

- Bashing heads, turning shit up. - You know, the usual.

[Jimmy] Kyle couldn't get a date to the prom.

All the farm animals were busy.

Man, I screw college girls.

All right, yeah.

[growling]

[Jimmy] So, how did you end up with these guys?

We were at the cemetery, and these things, they just came out

and they pulled Mitch and they took--

Wait, Mitch? What were you doing at the cemetery with Mitch?

We... we were just parked, you know, by the bluff.

Mitch Cutter? You were with him?

Yeah, but nothing happened.

Mitch Cutter.

At least have the decency to dump me for someone cool.

The guy's a tool, and you're... you're a tool by association.

- [scoffs] - Why him?

Because he took life seriously

and I thought he liked me.

He liked you in the back seat of his car.

Wonderful.

- [George] Move that chair. Let go! - [Jules] No, give it to me.

I'll... I'll give it to Kyle. Hey...

Looks... looks good, Kyle.

- That should do it. - Yeah.

- You chew? - Yeah, I'm Jewish.

Why?

I'll try some of that.

Mm, oh, that's good.

Like, you don't know how weird this is, man.

Remember last year when we were in gym together and you tripped over me

and you started to hit me in the face for no reason,

I started bleeding and everybody started laughing

and I started to cry?

Remember that?

Nuh-uh.

Hey, you remember junior year when you...

Oh, okay. Um...

You... you remember junior year when you... when you broke my arm

'cause you said I looked at you funny?

Remember that?

Man, that was you?

- Yeah. - [chuckles] Man.

Good times. Yeah. [chuckles]

How's your arm?

Not good, actually.

Um, but, Kyle, I... I hate to admit it,

but I'm actually glad you're here.

You're the biggest badass I know.

Hoorah! [chuckles]

[coughs]

[zombies growling]

Too bad we didn't go to prom together.

Then we wouldn't be in this mess.

We were supposed to go to prom together?

That was kind of my plan.

But you never asked me.

Eh, you would have said no.

Steven, if I had a choice between this place

and going to prom with you, I would have chose you.

- [muffled banging] - [low growling]

[Jimmy] You guys...

we're in a funeral home.

- [ominous music playing] - [thunder crashing]

Yo, who farted?

[thud]

[ominous music intensifies]

[zombie shrieking]

- [Jimmy] Go, everybody, go! - [Kyle] Move, man, move!

[Jimmy] Load the gun!

Go!

[shouting]

[zombie shrieking]

- [George] Is she dead? - [Jules] I don't know, George.

- Why don't you check her pulse? - [Gwen] Is everybody okay?

[Jimmy] There's got to be a light somewhere.

Some... someone find the light switch. Come on.

[Lindsey] I can't... I can't see anything.

- [Jimmy] Feel... feel along the walls. - [panting]

- George, the light. - [George] Jules, is that you?

[Jules panting] Okay.

- Steven, get off me! - Sorry, Gwen.

- [Gwen] I... I think I got it. - [switch clicks]

[Jules] Ugh.

Crazy old bitch.

Come on, come on. Come on, come on, come on, come on.

[panting]

- [ghost moans] - [bullets clinking]

[George] Shit, where did he go?

Make yourself useful. Load this!

- [screaming] - [growling]

[George] Ah, ah, ah! Help me! Ah!

Jim! Now would be really good!

Move, move!

[grunting]

Now! Hey, go! Now!

Right now! Right now!

- [Jules] George, get out of the way! - No!

[grunting]

[grunts]

[body thuds]

[breathes sharply]

It hurts.

[Kyle gasping]

Am I dying?

No, no, man, you're... you're fine.

Liar.

Jim, I'm sorry I whacked you at school today.

Shh, don't talk.

I'm sorry I was a dick.

It's okay. I deserved it.

Jim...

do me a favor.

Anything.

Kill 'em all.

[somber music playing]

Kyle.

Kyle.

Kyle.

What are we gonna do?

Um, Jimmy...

he just got bit.

So shouldn't we, like, leave?

[ominous music plays]

[all shouting]

[grunting]

[yelling]

[grunting]

Hey.

Are you okay?

[panting]

This is such a tragedy.

I really, really just wanted everything to be perfect.

[mumbles]

Oh, gosh, the prom.

Every teenager in town is at that prom.

Oh, man.

Guys, all that noise, all the fresh meat...

Every zombie in town will be there.

It'll be a feeding frenzy.

- Our entire high school class will be gone. - History.

All of 'em.

No one's picking up.

- We have to warn everyone. - [Jules] What, what, what?

You're going to the prom? Are you crazy? It's, like, 1000 to 6.

[George] You know, we should-- We just got to stay here.

I'm sure the government knows about this. They have to.

They should be sending somebody.

Look...

if we die two weeks from now or two hours,

I'd like to go out fighting.

If we don't stop those things from getting to the prom,

then our world is over.

I'm tired of being a loser.

Okay. So how do we get there?

We fight our way.

- With what? - With this.

And with this.

- Don't be stupid, Jules. The gun's empty. - No, it's not.

[all gasp]

Now, it is.

Guys, there's a hearse out front.

A hearse big enough for six.

So, who's the fastest runner?

I don't have my sneakers on today.

And I don't have any shoes.

I have asthma.

And I have a wooden leg.

Come on, guys, if you can run fast, you say so.

Um...

I can move pretty fast.

Yeah, yeah, send the cheerleader. That's a great idea.

[Lindsey] Guys, I can see the hearse. It's by the curb.

You don't have to do this, Gwen.

You're right. You do it.

Me? I'm not really... [scoffs]

...athletic.

See what I mean?

All right, is everybody ready? Yeah?

Jules, on three.

One...

- two... - [Lindsey] Dear God, be with Gwen

as she runs for her life into hell.

I don't like it. I don't wanna go.

...three!

- Come on! - [zombies shrieking]

- Go, go! - [grunts]

- [Jimmy] All clear! - [Gwen grunts]

[zombies growling]

Run, Gwen, go! Go, go, go!

[panting, grunts]

God, I love that girl.

- [bodies thudding] - I'm sorry! I'm sorry.

Guys, come on, get in the car!

- [zombies growling] - Hurry, you guys. They're everywhere.

[Jules] Come on! George, move your fat ass! Let's go!

Come on, Steven, quick!

Go, go, go!

[all shouting]

I'm going as fast as I can! This is a hearse!

- Is everybody okay? - Yeah.

Oh, yeah, I'm good. We're good, we're good.

- George, did you find a map? You got a map? - Yeah, I got one in my pants.

- It's a big map, Jules. Where am I gonna get a map from? - [tire explodes]

- [Jules] Guys, what the hell was that? - [air hisses]

- [Gewn] Oh, my God, we're stopping. - That was a tire. It blew out.

Someone shot it! I think someone shot at us!

Who would be shooting at us?

Say your prayers, monsters!

Don't... don't shoot! Don't... don't shoot!

- Who's that? Who... - [Jimmy] Coach Keel.

It's Jimmy Dunn, fourth period, gym. You had me in detention today.

[panting] Dunn?

Them sons of bitches ate my dog.

They ate my dog.

My German Shepherd, the best bitch I've ever had.

I was able to keep 'em green boys away from the neighbors for a bit,

but they got to one, then they got to another and another,

so I had to kill the whole block.

- Yeah, it's been a rough one for all of us. - Yeah.

- [George] Hey. - Hey.

Ooh, boy.

Looks like you got yourself a platoon.

All right, where are y'all going?

To the prom, to kick some zombie ass.

The prom.

It'll be a regular Thanksgiving-Day supper for them green boys.

All right, we'd better get suited up then.

Uh, suited up?

You don't win wars with toothpicks and cheddar cheese, missy.

You gotta be prepared. Ain't that right, Dunn?

[Jimmy] Yes, sir.

All right, let's get it in gear.

We got us a war to win.

[adventurous music playing]

[imitating whooshing]

I wish it was a corsage.

Little lady, you'll get the machete.

But I don't know how to shoot a machete.

[imitating battle sounds]

What the hell is wrong with you, son?

Whoa, whoa. Is this what I think it is, Coach?

Don't move, kid! Don't move!

Don't move! Don't you move!

You can take out the whole city block with this.

Whoosh! No eyebrows, man, mushroom cloud, the whole deal.

I got this off craigslist for emergencies only.

Everyone gets a walkie. Tune to channel 22.

Let's sync those watches, people.

Come on, move, move, move!

Um, do we have any more helmets, Jules?

- No, man. - Well, can I have that one, please?

Sorry, it's the last one. Stop.

Dude, come on, you're taller than me, Jules.

- Please? - No!

This is so cool.

No guns for you kids. Guns are mine, all mine.

I don't wanna repeat history, man. I don't wanna go out like Rod did. Please?

- Please? - Rod?

Jules...

Thanks.

Um, can we say a prayer?

I know it sounds super dorky, but we really need it.

Are you serious?

Yeah.

Make it quick, okay?

Okay, uh, everyone, hold hands.

Ugh. Gay.

Shut up, Jules.

- Continue, Lindsey. - Okay.

Um, dear God,

we don't know why you've brought the dead back to life,

but you have.

So we pray that you can help us through tonight...

- Mm-hmm. - ...help us to help others through tonight.

Lord, we know this is not a perfect world

and we are far from perfect,

but could you please lend us a hand here?

Protect us. In Jesus' name...

For the love of Buddha, are we done?

...amen.

[rock music playing]

Let's rock.

Bitchin' ride, Coach.

It took me three years to save up for her,

- but she's worth it. - [car engine starts]

[loud rock music playing]

Why aren't they attacking?

Who cares? They're sitting ducks.

[Jimmy] Wait a second...

Oh!

[Gwen] Ew, is he done yet?

Not yet.

Okay, I think that... He's done.

Oh, not. Uh, yes. No.

Oh, that did it. Yeah, uh, he's done.

Now do you jerkoffs believe me about the power plant?

- Nash! - Spinach!

[Steven] Oh, great, it's Nash.

[exhales] What's up, guys?

- [shrieking] - Dude, why weren't they attacking you?

- They dig our sound, man. - What?

Well, we were just in the garage, jamming out,

and then, all of a sudden, they came after us.

And at first, we were freaked, but then we realized

- they were listening to our music. - [Coach Keel grunting]

The more I watched them, the more I realized

they're communicating with each other like bugs, like--

- Bees, dude, they're like bees. - Yes.

And we're like the queen bee.

And then they hear us and they tune in,

and then they check out.

The more we started playing, the more they started coming.

That was, like, five hours ago.

- You guys have been playing for five hours straight? - [Dave] Yeah.

Hey, we needed the practice.

- That's amazing. - [scoffs] It's okay.

Oh, no, thanks.

- I'm high on life. - [Coach Keel grunting]

[all] Whoa!

- [Coach Keel] Hoorah! - [Dave] Nice!

Queers, make a hole.

- Whew. - Coach, good job.

- Wow. - Good job, Coach. Yes.

- That was amazing. - Ten years of training.

- God bless America. - [Steven] Amen.

We gotta shut that power plant down.

[Jimmy] It's too late. What's done is done.

The only thing we can do now is kill what it created.

Yeah, so take these and follow us.

Thanks, babe, but we got our weapons.

The Apocalypse.

Where did they all go?

Where do you think?

[suspenseful music playing]

[triumphant music playing]

Hey, Jimmy, look, it's the sign-in book.

Oh!

Dude, that's Miss Raines, my English teacher.

[Lindsey] Aw, I liked her.

[suspenseful music playing]

[gloomy music playing]

[growling]

We're too late.

Every zombie in town is here.

That's the guy from the comic book store.

[Jules] That's... that's my mailman.

You give me two minutes, I'll have this school wired

like a crackhead drinking a Red Bull.

All right, listen up. Here's what we're gonna do.

All right.

Here's the entrance. Here's the gymnasium.

I'm gonna drop some firecrackers right here, here and here.

Now, you kids, you're gonna have to board up the entrances

right here, here and here. All right?

We got one shot at this, so let's do it right. You got it?

- Yeah, yeah, come on. - All right, let's go.

Adiós, amigos. We'll see you on the other side.

[suspenseful music playing]

[panting]

- That should hold it. - [Lindsey] Okay, good.

Did you guys hear that?

[whispering] Stop pushing me.

[girls shriek]

- Please don't eat us! - We're not one of them.

[girl whimpers]

It's okay. I'm Jules Ryder. I'm here to rescue you.

They ate the prom king.

It's okay. I'm here to help.

Thank you.

[Jimmy] It's okay. You'll be all right.

All right, everybody, we're gonna get you out of here.

I need you to stay together. You got me?

Stay together if you wanna live.

[zombies growling]

All right, Dunn, I just gotta set the roof explosives.

Of course this shit was a lot easier

when I was 20 pounds lighter.

[grunts, chuckles]

All right, Jimmy, it's Hiroshima time.

I just gotta shimmy to safety,

and we'll turn this bitch into Baghdad.

Oh, no!

Shit!

[exhales sharply]

Dunn, you there? Over.

Yeah, go for Jimmy.

I dropped the damn remote.

The remote?

The remote to set off the explosives.

It landed right in the damn plate of potato chips.

Son of a bitch!

Dunn, you listen to me.

You've got to get that remote.

I'd go myself, but I got one other charge I got to set and we got no time.

It's a one-way ticket, son, but you gotta buy it. Over.

I'm going in the gym.

Are you nuts?

Somebody's got to get that remote.

They're not gonna see me if I stick to the shadows and move fast.

Jules, get everybody out of here

and as far away from the school as possible.

- You got it. - Jimmy, no.

I'll be right back.

Jimmy, please.

[zombies growling]

[ominous music playing]

All right, come on, let's go! Move it! Move it!

This place is gonna blow. Come on, let's go!

- Let's go, come on! [pained groans] - [zombie growling]

Gwen!

[grunts]

- Gwen, are you okay? - I'm fine.

- [Jules] George! George! - Uh!

[George grunts]

My helmet, Jules. My helmet. I love you, man. I love you!

I love you too, man, but we gotta go, we gotta go! Come on.

It's all clear. Let's go!

[suspenseful music playing]

- Hey. - Lindsey, no.

What are you doing?

Jimmy, I'm not leaving you again.

Besides, I planned this prom. I'm not gonna miss it.

You did a real good job with this stuff, babe.

- Really? [chuckles] - Mm-hmm.

Thanks.

There it is.

[Lindsey] Hold on.

Let's go.

[suspenseful music continues playing]

[ominous music playing]

[zombie growls]

Hmm?

♪♪

[growling]

- [Coach Keel grunts] - [zombies growling]

- [zombie 1 shrieks] - [zombie 2 yells]

- Jimmy? - I'm here.

- [zombie shrieks] - [grunts]

[grunting]

[grunting]

[zombies growling]

- [feedback squeals] - [twanging]

♪ We're running with the shadows of the night ♪

♪ So baby take my hand you'll be all right ♪

♪ Surrender all your dreams to me tonight ♪

♪ They'll come true in the end ♪

Very slowly, follow my lead.

We have to find that remote.

♪♪

Not bad for a couple of queers.

♪ Oh girl, it's a cold world

♪ When you keep it all to yourself ♪

♪ I said, you can't hide on the inside ♪

- Do you see it? - No. Do you?

♪ All the pain you've ever felt ♪

♪ Ransom your heart but baby don't look back ♪

♪ 'Cause we got nobody else

♪ We're running with the shadows of the night ♪

♪ So baby take my hand it'll be all right ♪

♪ Surrender all your dreams to me tonight ♪

♪ They'll come true in the end ♪

Jimmy, I'm sorry.

You don't ever have to tell me you're sorry.

Let's go, come on.

Steven, I need to talk to you.

Gwen, the school's about to explode.

Steven, I need you. Please.

[Gwen breathing heavily]

- Oh, jeez. [whimpers] - Oh, no. Oh, no.

- Uh... - Steven, please don't tell them.

- They'll kill me. Uh... - Gwen...

[whimpering] Please, Steven. I'm just so cold.

- Gwen. - Just hold me, okay? Just hold me.

- Uh... uh... - [Gwen sobbing]

Okay. It's okay.

I'm not gonna let them kill you.

I won't let you die.

I promise.

[whispers] You're the best.

Please, Steven.

[pained cries]

- [Steven yells] - [flesh squishes]

♪ Surrender all your dreams to me tonight ♪

♪ They'll come true in the end ♪

[Jimmy] There it is.

[music stops]

Jensen. Jensen, plug it in! Plug it in, man, plug it in!

[zombies growling]

Mitch?

- Here we go again. - No, no, Jimmy, Jimmy, Mitch. Mitch!

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

[bleachers buzz]

[Lindsey] Jimmy!

[groans]

[Jimmy grunts]

[panting] Come on, come on, come on, come on.

Take this.

- [shrieks] - [Lindsey grunts]

[Nash] Shit, it's the band!

- [zombies growling] - Let's rock!

[shouting]

[grunting]

[twanging]

["Somebody's Gonna Get Their Head Kicked In Tonight" by Quarter Punks playing]

♪ Well now the kids are rockin' ♪

- ♪ And everyone is feelin' alright ♪ - ♪ Alright

♪ It's on a Friday evening There's sure gonna be a fight ♪

♪ A fight

♪ I say somebody's gonna get their head kicked in tonight ♪

♪ Well now the band is groovin' and everyone's shouting ♪

- ♪ For more - ♪ For more

♪ There's soon gonna be a pool of blood ♪

- ♪ On the dance hall floor - ♪ The floor

♪ Somebody's gonna get their head kicked in tonight ♪

["Waiting" by Junk playing]

♪♪

♪♪

[low growl]

[song ends]

♪♪

We got the detonator. Let's go.

No way, man. This is the best set of our lives.

Look, if you don't hurry up, this is gonna be the last set of your life.

Now, come on.

[feedback squeals]

Thank you, Coosa High School. Good night!

- Come on, come on, come on! - [zombies growling]

Go, go, go!

- Coach, is everybody out? - Everybody but me.

Count to ten. Let's drop this deuce.

- [Jensen] We locked those doors! - [Dave] Not cool, not cool.

- We're not gonna make it. - Get out of the way.

[grunts] Safety glass.

[growling]

- Jensen, come on, come on! - [Lindsey] Jimmy!

- [zombies growling] - [both] Jensen!

Oh!

- Go! Go! - Go, go, go, go!

Push!

- I'm slipping. - [growls]

Hammond.

[grunting]

Jimmy.

Jimmy!

[grunts]

[suspenseful music plays]

Hey, come on!

- Come on! - Everybody down!

[Coach Keel grunts]

Lindsey...

I love you.

[beeps]

Oh!

- Yeah! - Yeah! Woo-hoo-hoo!

[triumphant music playing]

Woo-hoo-hoo! Hot damn, Dunn, I was wrong about you.

You are a good soldier.

- Kick ass! - Yeah!

Whoo! Bring any marshmallows?

No, sir.

Steven.

[exhales]

Hey, congratulations on winning prom queen.

Yeah.

Like it matters.

Tell me about it.

Who are you guys?

We're the Sci-Fi Club.

Really? Well, do you believe in UFOs?

[chuckles] Yeah.

I saw one once.

Me too. Wow, this is, you know...

Wow.

[Jules whispers] George...

no.

[mouths] Me.

How are you?

I wanna give you this.

It'll protect you, just in case.

Okay.

You know what? Actually, no. Actually, no.

[growls, shrieks]

We've got to shut down that power plant before it spreads.

It's the way Jensen would have wanted it.

Rock 'n' roll, brother.

Sounds like a plan, pretty boy.

You in, ace?

Yes, sir.

Lindsey?

You go, I go.

- [door closes] - All right, first things first.

Coach wants to go to the pancake house.

There, we'll all have breakfast and juice, on Coach.

Then we'll discuss stage two of this op.

Sound good?

Pancakes are cool.

Roger that.

[sighs]

["Shadows of the Night" by Layton playing]

♪♪

["Shadows of the Night" by Layton continues playing]

[song cross-fades]

[tense music playing]

[suspenseful music playing]

[soft music playing]

[eerie music playing]

[music ends]