Original subtitles

You ready?

coming over not my guest it's not your guest it's your stepbrother's guest

nope come on am i the one that has to do everything around here oh god

you guys are so oh now

you're going to start doing stuff

You think this happens to me every single day?

It does.

But these guys will cling to any kind of excuse that they don't have to do

anything and make me do all the work. Well, today is not about me.

It's about my baby's first girlfriend.

Oh, my God.

Oh, look at him. He's so in love.

Oh no, I wonder if she can accept our family as it is.

This is Lana.

Hi. That's my stepdad Jack. Hi Jack. This is my step sister Olivia.

Hi Olivia. And this is my stepmom Cory. Hi Lana.

So nice to meet you.

I hope you don't mind playing Monopoly.

No, not at all. I love it. Good. I guess I think it's a great icebreaker when we

meet somebody new.

Okay. So much fun. I'm so excited. You guys ready? Let's go play.

Oh,

okay.

Nine.

Do I get to buy a property?

If you would like.

I do.

There you go.

Thank you.

Okay, who's next?

Good job.

There you go. I think I'm next, right? You're next. Awesome.

Are you

going to buy it? You would like to buy

it? Yeah, I think I will.

Okay.

Baltic Avenue.

So lovely.

Thank you.

Okay, am I good?

Sure is.

Okay.

Ooh, a hat. Good job, daughter.

Okay.

I think that means I'm right here.

You're just visiting, or do you land in jail?

She's just visiting, but I think she gets to roll again because she got

Oh! Oh my gosh.

Wow, you are amazing, Stepdaddy.

So, she's got a chance to get a property.

Oh my gosh, this is so fun.

I love playing board games with my step -parents. You guys are awesome.

Avenue. I want to buy it. Yeah? Okay, 180.

To the lovely thing.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Did they just kiss?

Yeah,

of course.

Is it just like part of the tradition?

No, it's completely normal. Yeah.

Okay. Well, yeah, I want to do it too when it's your turn. Yeah. Okay.

All right, Seth, it's your turn.

All right.

Good roll.

Oh, awesome.

This game is great. It really does bring us all closer together, doesn't it? It

does, doesn't it? But it wasn't all my idea.

Oh, my baby girl thought of it too.

Oh, I just feel like this is the least boring game of all time. I definitely...

Okay. Here you go.

Okay, use your property.

Oh, isn't that so sweet?

Oh.

I don't understand.

You guys all have more money than me.

You must have given me less money.

No, that can't be true. I tell everyone to save money.

Let me see. Can you even count?

Let's just count it out.

Here we go, this.

Three of those.

Two of these. See, you have everything. You were just, you had it all on your

thumb.

Exactly. Look at all that. Let me double check. I'd like to organize it a little

bit better.

That's perfect.

You know what?

It's all there, isn't it?

I don't know why I was freaking out for so long.

I would never do that to my son.

I don't know why I would ever do that to him.

I'm just so competitive.

I just need to look a little bit better.

One more check.

Everybody have their money? Yeah, no, I think we're not missing any.

I definitely have mine.

Are you feeling okay, Lana?

You're looking a little pale.

Oh, um, yeah, I'm just, I think I'm a little tired.

The camera's really intense.

Well, why don't you take a nap in Olivia's room and be fine.

Um, does she have to stay in my room?

Why not? You have plenty of room. Yeah, I better feel at home.

I'm just like kind of a particular sleeper, but it's fine. You can stay in

bed. Thanks

I cannot sleep at all. With her laying... Like, look at her. She's

whole bed.

Listen, I can't sleep, Ian, but I... One day, you're going to want to bring

someone home, too, and you're going to expect that your brother would be

with you. I just... I don't think we can handle another member of the family.

I think I know what will help me sleep.

What?

I think I need something stronger.

Because she just keeps fooling around.

You're not scared about her waking up?

No, I mean, she needs to get used to it.

The sooner she finds out how this family really works, the better.

you

Sleep still.

Oh my God.

What are you doing up?

I couldn't fall asleep.

It's okay, honey.

Boys his age have to release their sexual intention every single day.

It's science.

Do you want Mommy to make you feel better?

Yeah, but I'm just so bummed that Lana didn't get to know the family more.

Oh, it's okay, honey.

Besides, we're not a typical family, and it might take some extra time for her

to get to know us.

But I'm always here for you.

Attention.

hard at my hand and my mouth.

Help me, Lord.

I'm sure that'll help you feel better.

Excuse me

to fix everything.

What happened?

She just got up and walked out. I think she's a sleepwalker.

She just passed out on the floor again but she's not sleeping in my bed.

think anyone's gotten any sleep tonight. Why don't we just help each other relax

and I really don't see Lana getting up anytime soon.

We should be fine.

Don't worry about her, baby.

She'll come around.

Olivia loves it when you pinch her on her balls.

Yeah, it's just a dream.

It's just a dream.

No, I'm not.

You guys are just fucking perverts.

No, you're dreaming. No, Lana.

No, Lana, don't go.

Oh,

it's okay, honey. I'm so sorry about this.

Like I said, we're not the typical family.

There'll be plenty of other fish and cheese. It just wasn't right for us.

Let Mommy make you feel better.

Okay.

I'm ready.

Lie down.

You want to squat?

Okay, that's a great idea.

Son of a love music, you know? Come here, Daddy.

Bend over.

Bend over, yeah.

Oh, my gosh.

Oh, and then I want you to shove that dick in my mouth, Daddy.

Bend over for me.

Oh, fuck you.

Corte family.