All language subtitles for Things.You.Should.Have.Done.S02E04.Get.a.GCSE.1080p.iP.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H.264-RAWR_track3_[eng]

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,960 --> 00:00:08,720 It's out of order, love. 2 00:00:08,720 --> 00:00:09,840 What? 3 00:00:09,840 --> 00:00:12,040 It's out of order. 4 00:00:12,040 --> 00:00:13,560 Why? What's it done? 5 00:00:13,560 --> 00:00:16,160 No, it's broken. I'm... I'm fixing it. 6 00:00:16,160 --> 00:00:18,000 OK. 7 00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:19,320 When's the lift coming? 8 00:00:19,320 --> 00:00:20,960 It's not. 9 00:00:20,960 --> 00:00:22,360 It's just a two-minute walk. 10 00:00:26,400 --> 00:00:28,080 Nah. 11 00:00:28,080 --> 00:00:29,640 I'll just wait. 12 00:00:29,640 --> 00:00:31,000 I'm going to be hours, love. 13 00:00:34,680 --> 00:00:35,720 Don't, don't... 14 00:00:37,840 --> 00:00:39,240 No, don't! 15 00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:40,360 Is it ready yet? 16 00:00:40,360 --> 00:00:41,400 No! 17 00:00:42,600 --> 00:00:44,880 Don't press the buttons! 18 00:00:44,880 --> 00:00:46,000 OK! 19 00:00:50,600 --> 00:00:51,840 No, don't! 20 00:00:51,840 --> 00:00:53,240 I'm not doing anything! 21 00:00:53,240 --> 00:00:54,320 Are you thick?! 22 00:00:57,600 --> 00:00:58,640 Do you actually think that? 23 00:00:58,640 --> 00:01:00,080 - 100%. - What, you're sure? 24 00:01:00,080 --> 00:01:03,360 - 200%. - All right, well, name one thick thing that I've done. 25 00:01:03,360 --> 00:01:05,560 Well, you're not wearing trousers today for a start. 26 00:01:05,560 --> 00:01:06,640 How would you know that? 27 00:01:06,640 --> 00:01:09,040 Because you're not wearing trousers. 28 00:01:09,040 --> 00:01:11,960 Well, they never stay on me any more cos I'm so skinny. 29 00:01:11,960 --> 00:01:13,840 I'm shocked you're so bothered by this! 30 00:01:13,840 --> 00:01:14,880 CHI SIGHS 31 00:01:14,880 --> 00:01:17,080 Your brain is a smorgasbord of issues. 32 00:01:17,080 --> 00:01:21,120 Being thick should be the last thing on your teeny-tiny mind. 33 00:01:21,120 --> 00:01:22,680 Well, is there a cure? 34 00:01:22,680 --> 00:01:26,280 Well...you probably should have some sort of education by now, 35 00:01:26,280 --> 00:01:28,280 like your parents said in the list. 36 00:01:28,280 --> 00:01:30,680 And the uneducated do often get left behind in life. 37 00:01:30,680 --> 00:01:32,160 - Left behind? - Yes. 38 00:01:33,680 --> 00:01:35,440 I would suggest a qualification, 39 00:01:35,440 --> 00:01:40,120 but I find adults learning a new skill just very depressing. 40 00:01:40,120 --> 00:01:43,120 No, you are stuck being thick for life. 41 00:01:43,120 --> 00:01:45,800 - It's too late for you. - It's not too thick! 42 00:01:45,800 --> 00:01:48,640 I'm going to prove to people I'm not too late. 43 00:01:48,640 --> 00:01:50,960 I can be... I reckon I'll be the smart... 44 00:01:50,960 --> 00:01:53,680 ..smartenst person in the world, honestly. 45 00:01:54,800 --> 00:01:55,840 Ugh! 46 00:01:56,880 --> 00:01:58,040 Ohhh! 47 00:01:58,040 --> 00:02:00,240 I don't want to see that, do I?! 48 00:02:00,240 --> 00:02:01,280 What?! 49 00:02:01,280 --> 00:02:03,520 Get your arse out of my office! 50 00:02:04,760 --> 00:02:07,800 L'amour est un oiseau rebelle 51 00:02:16,480 --> 00:02:20,360 - Get one GCSE! - Get one GCSE! 52 00:02:20,360 --> 00:02:22,000 Even if it's in PE. 53 00:02:36,560 --> 00:02:38,440 Er... Excuse me, what are you doing? 54 00:02:38,440 --> 00:02:40,000 Er, no, no, no. No climbing. 55 00:02:40,000 --> 00:02:42,080 - What are you doing? - Er, college, please. 56 00:02:43,240 --> 00:02:44,960 College, please. 57 00:02:44,960 --> 00:02:46,240 - What? - College, please. 58 00:02:47,320 --> 00:02:50,000 - Yeah, this is a college. - OK. 59 00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:51,280 Can I help you or...? 60 00:02:51,280 --> 00:02:53,680 Yeah, I'm just looking to be a professional in something, 61 00:02:53,680 --> 00:02:57,840 - like, just gagging for a GCSE... - OK. - ..etc. 62 00:02:57,840 --> 00:03:01,800 Yeah, I mean, we do offer GCSEs here. What are you studying? 63 00:03:01,800 --> 00:03:04,000 - Tried learning French. - OK. - Yeah. 64 00:03:04,000 --> 00:03:06,720 I had to quit because it was all in a different language. 65 00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:10,200 - Yeah. - So... - Yeah, French is in a different language, isn't it? 66 00:03:11,200 --> 00:03:14,120 Well, OK, like I said, you can't just go straight through 67 00:03:14,120 --> 00:03:16,160 because those students are enrolled, 68 00:03:16,160 --> 00:03:19,400 so go on the website, enrol, you know... 69 00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:20,760 Do you want me to call someone out? 70 00:03:20,760 --> 00:03:23,120 Because they might be able to explain it a bit better... 71 00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:24,320 What, him? 72 00:03:24,320 --> 00:03:27,240 - No, no, he-he's an actual student, so... - Oh. 73 00:03:27,240 --> 00:03:30,160 - Yeah, he's...he's enrolled, you see. - Oh. - Yeah. 74 00:03:30,160 --> 00:03:34,240 I mean, yeah, cos there's sort of, like, application forms, 75 00:03:34,240 --> 00:03:36,120 er, there's course fees... 76 00:03:39,120 --> 00:03:40,680 OK. 77 00:03:40,680 --> 00:03:41,920 Just left. 78 00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:47,040 SHE SIGHS 79 00:03:47,040 --> 00:03:50,080 Sweet Dreams by Eurythmics 80 00:03:53,360 --> 00:03:55,000 - Morning. - Morning, sir. 81 00:03:55,000 --> 00:03:56,800 - Er, no, sir, don't let her in. - Nothing to do with me. 82 00:03:56,800 --> 00:03:58,680 Excuse me! Excuse me! 83 00:03:58,680 --> 00:04:01,280 I said you need to be a student to come here. 84 00:04:04,400 --> 00:04:07,000 No, no, no, no, no. Miss, don't let her in. She's not a student yet. 85 00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:09,640 - Sorry, miss. Sorry. - It's all right. I'm going to need to call someone. 86 00:04:09,640 --> 00:04:11,440 You're not really listening, are you? 87 00:04:12,800 --> 00:04:14,360 LINE RINGS 88 00:04:14,360 --> 00:04:15,640 - Hello? - Where are you? 89 00:04:15,640 --> 00:04:18,200 I've got something really, really important that we need to do. 90 00:04:18,200 --> 00:04:21,240 Yeah, I can't today, Chi. I... I'm not free. 91 00:04:21,240 --> 00:04:22,920 What do you mean, you're not free? 92 00:04:22,920 --> 00:04:24,320 What does that mean? 93 00:04:50,920 --> 00:04:51,960 What the...?! 94 00:04:53,240 --> 00:04:54,680 Why did you do that?! 95 00:04:54,680 --> 00:04:56,960 Well, what did you think was going to happen?! 96 00:04:56,960 --> 00:04:59,640 God's sake. Can you give me your bib, please? 97 00:04:59,640 --> 00:05:01,440 No. You can't. It's... 98 00:05:01,440 --> 00:05:03,920 Look, if you don't give it to me, I'm just going to tell everyone 99 00:05:03,920 --> 00:05:06,040 that you know that you've touched my tits and bits. 100 00:05:12,760 --> 00:05:15,200 CHI MUTTERS 101 00:05:15,200 --> 00:05:16,240 Yeah. 102 00:05:26,600 --> 00:05:28,480 - Oh. - Oh, Doctor. 103 00:05:29,640 --> 00:05:30,920 You all right? 104 00:05:30,920 --> 00:05:32,240 No, not really. 105 00:05:33,640 --> 00:05:37,240 One of my colleagues had his high-vis stolen at tit-point, 106 00:05:37,240 --> 00:05:38,680 so we're all a bit shaken up. 107 00:05:39,720 --> 00:05:42,760 I mean, it happens around here a lot more than you think. 108 00:05:42,760 --> 00:05:45,560 I just... You know, I don't know when it's going to stop. 109 00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:48,640 People using their tits for crime. 110 00:05:50,880 --> 00:05:52,360 And...? 111 00:05:52,360 --> 00:05:54,520 Well... Oh, God, yeah. Erm... 112 00:05:54,520 --> 00:05:55,560 For the lady. 113 00:05:55,560 --> 00:05:57,240 Ooh, cheers. 114 00:05:57,240 --> 00:05:58,720 Blimey. 115 00:05:58,720 --> 00:06:01,160 You'd have thought after seeing your posh office, 116 00:06:01,160 --> 00:06:03,080 you'd have lived in less of a shithole. 117 00:06:03,080 --> 00:06:06,640 Yes, well, Sarah went through a building phase. 118 00:06:07,720 --> 00:06:09,320 I can help. 119 00:06:09,320 --> 00:06:13,320 I did our whole house because Karen refused to get anyone in. 120 00:06:13,320 --> 00:06:15,320 I think she went through an anti-Polish phase. 121 00:06:15,320 --> 00:06:17,240 Oh, no, I wouldn't want to put you out. 122 00:06:17,240 --> 00:06:20,000 No, no, you are changing Chi's brain. 123 00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:21,680 It's the least I can do. 124 00:06:21,680 --> 00:06:23,400 No, I-I don't want to put you out, I don't... 125 00:06:33,400 --> 00:06:34,520 Are you a college? 126 00:06:36,400 --> 00:06:37,800 - Oh. - Oh. - Hello. 127 00:06:38,880 --> 00:06:40,560 Yeah, I knew you'd be free. Heh. 128 00:06:43,520 --> 00:06:46,040 Yeah... Yeah, no, no, I-I'm free. Yeah. 129 00:06:46,040 --> 00:06:47,960 OK. How did you know that I was here, though? 130 00:06:49,600 --> 00:06:51,000 Cousin intuition. 131 00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:54,640 Yeah, fair. Erm, anyway, so the reason that I'm here is, erm, 132 00:06:54,640 --> 00:06:56,600 basically, I realised that I should probably get an education 133 00:06:56,600 --> 00:06:58,520 - so I don't get left behind in life. - Lucas! See you in a bit. 134 00:06:58,520 --> 00:07:00,640 And, erm, also, I thought, who else could help me? 135 00:07:00,640 --> 00:07:02,400 You, cos you're probably thick too, I reckon. 136 00:07:02,400 --> 00:07:04,320 - All right, Lucs? - And then we can do all the other two-person stuff, 137 00:07:04,320 --> 00:07:05,640 you know, like do a trust fall, 138 00:07:05,640 --> 00:07:08,360 win Pointless Celebs, try doggy style, you know? 139 00:07:08,360 --> 00:07:10,000 All right, Lucas? 140 00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:11,560 - Wait... - Hey, Lucas. 141 00:07:15,360 --> 00:07:16,400 I... 142 00:07:17,760 --> 00:07:18,880 I... 143 00:07:20,200 --> 00:07:21,760 I forgot what I was going to say. 144 00:07:21,760 --> 00:07:26,000 OK, fine! Yes! Yes, Chi, I've been taking classes here for weeks. 145 00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:27,400 I'm sorry I lied to you. I'm... 146 00:07:27,400 --> 00:07:29,800 SHE GASPS 147 00:07:27,400 --> 00:07:29,800 I'm not entirely thick. 148 00:07:29,800 --> 00:07:31,160 - What?! - What? 149 00:07:31,160 --> 00:07:32,560 - What?! - What? 150 00:07:32,560 --> 00:07:34,680 Are you actually serious right now? You did stuff without me? 151 00:07:34,680 --> 00:07:36,560 Well, I'm sorry. I thought you'd notice. 152 00:07:36,560 --> 00:07:39,720 Come on, what with me being gone all the time and all the books 153 00:07:39,720 --> 00:07:40,880 around the house and... 154 00:07:40,880 --> 00:07:43,080 {\an8}..and the Ramsgate College hoodie I've been wearing. 155 00:07:43,080 --> 00:07:44,720 I'm not psychic, Lucas! 156 00:07:44,720 --> 00:07:46,080 - All right? - True, that's true. 157 00:07:46,080 --> 00:07:49,520 God. First, my parents, then Karen, the selfish bitch, 158 00:07:49,520 --> 00:07:51,240 and now you're abandoning me too. 159 00:07:52,400 --> 00:07:55,040 You know, you're making me feel like a mattress. Yeah. 160 00:07:55,040 --> 00:07:59,800 The last thing I want, ever, is for you to feel like a mattress. 161 00:07:59,800 --> 00:08:02,200 Yeah, well, here we are. OK? Here we are. 162 00:08:03,440 --> 00:08:05,480 - Can I ask one thing of you? - What? 163 00:08:05,480 --> 00:08:07,000 Come to one class with me. 164 00:08:07,000 --> 00:08:09,520 - OK. - Yeah? - What is it? 165 00:08:09,520 --> 00:08:12,040 - You'll find out. Come on. - OK, fine. 166 00:08:14,200 --> 00:08:15,480 What is this? 167 00:08:15,480 --> 00:08:17,240 That the best you can do? 168 00:08:17,240 --> 00:08:19,160 Sloppy. Messy. 169 00:08:19,160 --> 00:08:23,720 {\an8}Touch-typing. The ancient art of typing without looking at the keys. 170 00:08:23,720 --> 00:08:27,400 "Touch-typing's pointless. How is this a class?" 171 00:08:29,400 --> 00:08:31,320 These are questions I hear every day. 172 00:08:31,320 --> 00:08:32,840 What's that over there? 173 00:08:32,840 --> 00:08:35,240 Perry. Instructor. 174 00:08:35,240 --> 00:08:37,120 Can we just go do the hair-weaving course? 175 00:08:37,120 --> 00:08:38,440 Because that looked way better. 176 00:08:38,440 --> 00:08:42,040 Oh, here he is. Superstar. 177 00:08:42,040 --> 00:08:43,880 I was...beginning to think you'd left. 178 00:08:43,880 --> 00:08:45,720 Nah, wouldn't miss it for the world. 179 00:08:45,720 --> 00:08:48,480 Well, that's why you're averaging 60 words a minute, isn't it? 180 00:08:48,480 --> 00:08:50,040 - That's... - ..one word a second. 181 00:08:50,040 --> 00:08:51,080 Yeah. 182 00:08:58,000 --> 00:08:59,040 Chi. 183 00:08:59,040 --> 00:09:01,520 Oh, yeah. Erm, Perry, this is actually my cousin, Chi. 184 00:09:01,520 --> 00:09:03,080 She wants to get educated so that 185 00:09:03,080 --> 00:09:04,720 she can be an adult and respect herself. 186 00:09:04,720 --> 00:09:05,960 - Yeah. - Oh. 187 00:09:05,960 --> 00:09:08,400 Chi. Lovely short name. 188 00:09:08,400 --> 00:09:10,360 Could bash that out in 0.2, I reckon. 189 00:09:10,360 --> 00:09:12,040 Sorry, could you... Do you mind leaning back? 190 00:09:12,040 --> 00:09:13,840 It's just your breath smells like you overeat. 191 00:09:13,840 --> 00:09:15,560 Yeah, for sure. 192 00:09:15,560 --> 00:09:17,360 Well, Chi, it's an honour to have you here. 193 00:09:17,360 --> 00:09:21,000 Do you have much experience with ten-finger Qwerty touch-typing? 194 00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:23,240 I've got a laptop. 195 00:09:23,240 --> 00:09:24,680 THEY SCOFF 196 00:09:24,680 --> 00:09:26,320 She's got a laptop! 197 00:09:26,320 --> 00:09:28,240 - Yeah, she's got a laptop! - Don't we all? 198 00:09:29,400 --> 00:09:30,560 Oh, not to worry. 199 00:09:30,560 --> 00:09:33,080 If these skills run in the family, I'm, er... 200 00:09:33,080 --> 00:09:34,920 ..I'm sure you'll pick it up in no time. 201 00:09:36,800 --> 00:09:39,360 - Lucas, do you want to get Chi set up... - Yeah. - ..on a computer? 202 00:09:40,960 --> 00:09:42,360 So fucking hot. 203 00:09:42,360 --> 00:09:43,400 It's not hot in here. 204 00:09:43,400 --> 00:09:44,480 Neutral wrists! 205 00:09:49,800 --> 00:09:53,240 - OK, do you see what's happened here, Chi? - What? 206 00:09:53,240 --> 00:09:55,680 So, the word is "adventure"... 207 00:09:55,680 --> 00:09:57,280 ..and you've written "Konnie Huq". 208 00:09:58,360 --> 00:09:59,400 OK. 209 00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:02,240 Cup of tea? 210 00:10:02,240 --> 00:10:04,080 Well, it's Bovril, actually. 211 00:10:04,080 --> 00:10:07,040 I don't really know what men drink. 212 00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:09,440 Haven't lived with one since '94. 213 00:10:09,440 --> 00:10:11,080 - Hm! - Cheers. 214 00:10:11,080 --> 00:10:12,920 So... 215 00:10:11,080 --> 00:10:12,920 CLEARS THROAT 216 00:10:12,920 --> 00:10:16,240 ..how...how are you, erm, getting along? You know, grief-wise. 217 00:10:16,240 --> 00:10:18,440 Yeah, quite good, actually. 218 00:10:18,440 --> 00:10:22,560 The other day, I walked around the house completely naked, eating. 219 00:10:22,560 --> 00:10:24,960 I thought to myself, "Is this grief?" 220 00:10:26,760 --> 00:10:29,880 And then I realised I did that before Karen died, so... 221 00:10:29,880 --> 00:10:33,400 Mm. Dissociative fugue. Classic mad behaviour. 222 00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:35,600 How about you? How are you getting on? 223 00:10:35,600 --> 00:10:36,840 What do you mean? 224 00:10:36,840 --> 00:10:40,120 Well, it could be that the rancid state of your home 225 00:10:40,120 --> 00:10:41,960 could be a sad reflection of your inner life. 226 00:10:41,960 --> 00:10:46,080 Excuse my language, but that is a fucking deranged thing to say. 227 00:10:46,080 --> 00:10:50,200 No, I imagine it's because it's your job to fix other people's problems, 228 00:10:50,200 --> 00:10:53,360 you know, delve into their psychologies and fill your head 229 00:10:53,360 --> 00:10:56,240 with their neuroses, so, at the end of a long day, 230 00:10:56,240 --> 00:10:59,320 the last thing you want to do is fix problems in the home. 231 00:10:59,320 --> 00:11:00,560 SHE SCOFFS 232 00:10:59,320 --> 00:11:00,560 I mean... 233 00:11:00,560 --> 00:11:05,440 I don't know where you've... read that, but I mean, that is... 234 00:11:05,440 --> 00:11:10,120 Careful of those pipes, actually, they're attached to the electricity. 235 00:11:10,120 --> 00:11:11,280 Fucking Sarah. 236 00:11:14,520 --> 00:11:15,560 BZZZT! 237 00:11:19,680 --> 00:11:21,280 I think I got electrocuted then. 238 00:11:22,800 --> 00:11:26,400 The advent of touch-typing - 239 00:11:26,400 --> 00:11:30,240 or typing tactus - dates back to 1888, 240 00:11:30,240 --> 00:11:33,000 when court stenographer Frank Edward McGurrin... 241 00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:34,200 CHI YAWNS 242 00:11:34,200 --> 00:11:35,320 Chi. 243 00:11:36,400 --> 00:11:37,760 Erm... 244 00:11:37,760 --> 00:11:42,280 ..court stenographer Frank Edward McGurrin popularised the method... 245 00:11:42,280 --> 00:11:43,400 He's talking way too fast. 246 00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:45,440 - I just don't understand what he's saying... - Chi, please, stop it. 247 00:11:45,440 --> 00:11:46,960 Erm... You know what? Let's, er, 248 00:11:46,960 --> 00:11:48,680 let's just continue with our drills, shall we? 249 00:11:48,680 --> 00:11:50,760 You know, the pinkies are your friends. 250 00:11:52,800 --> 00:11:54,000 SHE SIGHS 251 00:11:57,880 --> 00:12:00,120 OK, he's stopped speaking. Can we leave now, please? 252 00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:02,440 I don't want to leave. I'm concentrating. 253 00:12:02,440 --> 00:12:04,000 Why are you saying that? 254 00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:06,160 Come on, we can go do something easy that we both like, 255 00:12:06,160 --> 00:12:08,880 like health care or bagpiping. 256 00:12:09,920 --> 00:12:11,600 I like this class and, erm... 257 00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:13,120 Yeah, I'm good at it. 258 00:12:13,120 --> 00:12:15,720 That's just what he wants you to think because you're paying him. 259 00:12:17,400 --> 00:12:18,600 CHI SIGHS 260 00:12:20,200 --> 00:12:21,720 Why have you typed that? 261 00:12:21,720 --> 00:12:23,040 Oh, awkward! 262 00:12:23,040 --> 00:12:24,360 Oh, Miranda. 263 00:12:24,360 --> 00:12:26,320 I think she panicked, Stevie! 264 00:12:26,320 --> 00:12:27,640 What am I meant to type, then? 265 00:12:27,640 --> 00:12:30,600 Oh, I don't know. Maybe spelling's just not for you. 266 00:12:30,600 --> 00:12:34,440 No, I think she's more of a people person, you know. 267 00:12:34,440 --> 00:12:36,840 She doesn't seem like a people person. 268 00:12:36,840 --> 00:12:38,640 Oh, God. I just... 269 00:12:38,640 --> 00:12:41,320 I get so distracted by all the... 270 00:12:41,320 --> 00:12:43,480 ..sex stuff. You know. 271 00:12:43,480 --> 00:12:45,800 - The what? - The sex stuff. 272 00:12:45,800 --> 00:12:48,600 I don't want to look. Something about a meat bag. 273 00:12:48,600 --> 00:12:50,720 - Awkward. - What's a meat bag? 274 00:12:50,720 --> 00:12:52,520 Don't say it, Stevie! 275 00:12:52,520 --> 00:12:54,640 Eurgh! "Meat bag." 276 00:12:54,640 --> 00:12:57,120 Sorry, can you stop sexting my step-cousin? 277 00:12:57,120 --> 00:12:59,120 Because I've just read what this says. 278 00:12:59,120 --> 00:13:00,400 STUDENTS MURMUR 279 00:12:59,120 --> 00:13:00,400 No, I-I... You know what? 280 00:13:00,400 --> 00:13:02,440 Actually, I'm not going to allow these kinds of disturbances 281 00:13:02,440 --> 00:13:05,400 in my class, actually, so, Chi, I'm going to have to ask you to leave. 282 00:13:05,400 --> 00:13:06,960 - Me to leave?! - Yep. 283 00:13:06,960 --> 00:13:09,440 Oh, what? So you hate beautiful white women now? 284 00:13:09,440 --> 00:13:10,840 - Is that what it is? - Pardon? 285 00:13:10,840 --> 00:13:11,960 Yeah, that makes sense. 286 00:13:11,960 --> 00:13:13,240 OK, of course, I'm going. 287 00:13:13,240 --> 00:13:15,280 Lucas, we're leaving. 288 00:13:15,280 --> 00:13:17,960 Lucas, we're leaving. I'm going to need you to come. 289 00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:21,000 Lucas, are you going to come? 290 00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:22,080 I don't think I can. 291 00:13:22,080 --> 00:13:24,080 - I need you to come for me, OK? - I don't think I can come. 292 00:13:24,080 --> 00:13:26,640 - Lucas, I'm going to need you to come for me! - Chi, I'm not... 293 00:13:26,640 --> 00:13:28,880 - Come for me, Lucas! - I'm not going to come. 294 00:13:28,880 --> 00:13:30,800 - OK. - Sorry. - Hey, Lucas. 295 00:13:30,800 --> 00:13:32,200 - Lucas. - Yes? 296 00:13:32,200 --> 00:13:36,160 How quickly can you type the words "betrayal"? 297 00:13:36,160 --> 00:13:38,200 Chi, please. 298 00:13:38,200 --> 00:13:42,560 Hey, Lucas, how quickly can you type the word... 299 00:13:42,560 --> 00:13:44,600 .."spiteful cow"? 300 00:13:44,600 --> 00:13:46,000 That's... That's actually two words. 301 00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:50,000 Hey, Lucas, how quickly can you type the words "traitor"? 302 00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:51,640 - Quite quick, probably! - Yeah, that's what I thought! 303 00:13:51,640 --> 00:13:53,000 - That's what I thought! - That's what I thought! 304 00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:54,600 - That's what I thought! - Yeah, well, I thought it first! 305 00:13:54,600 --> 00:13:56,360 - Yeah, well, I thought it! - I thought it first! - I said it! 306 00:13:56,360 --> 00:13:57,960 - I thought it first! - I said it! 307 00:13:57,960 --> 00:14:00,200 Fuck! Sorry. 308 00:14:01,360 --> 00:14:03,040 OK, show's over. 309 00:14:03,040 --> 00:14:04,520 - I'm sorry. - Eyes forward. 310 00:14:05,760 --> 00:14:06,800 You OK? 311 00:14:06,800 --> 00:14:07,880 Sorry you had to see that. 312 00:14:07,880 --> 00:14:09,320 I, er... Yeah. 313 00:14:09,320 --> 00:14:10,560 Is she normally like that? 314 00:14:10,560 --> 00:14:12,480 No, she's just... 315 00:14:12,480 --> 00:14:15,200 All her family are dying and I don't think... 316 00:14:16,200 --> 00:14:17,520 She's not handling it well. 317 00:14:17,520 --> 00:14:19,960 - Sorry, all of her family are dying? - Yeah. 318 00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:21,040 How did they die? 319 00:14:21,040 --> 00:14:23,440 Er, hit by a lorry, fell down the stairs. 320 00:14:23,440 --> 00:14:26,400 Oh, and her grandparents went missing a few years ago, so... 321 00:14:26,400 --> 00:14:28,840 So, it's... Do you feel safe? 322 00:14:29,880 --> 00:14:30,960 Yeah, we have a laugh. 323 00:14:32,160 --> 00:14:33,680 Got you some more Bovril. 324 00:14:33,680 --> 00:14:35,320 You went through that, didn't you? 325 00:14:35,320 --> 00:14:36,520 Yeah. 326 00:14:36,520 --> 00:14:39,840 So, I did what I could with what I had, 327 00:14:39,840 --> 00:14:42,640 but Sarah's tool box mainly consisted of old forks. 328 00:14:42,640 --> 00:14:44,120 Oh... 329 00:14:44,120 --> 00:14:45,400 The plugs aren't hissing. 330 00:14:45,400 --> 00:14:47,400 Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Happy to help. 331 00:14:47,400 --> 00:14:49,960 I mean, I've felt like a bit of a lump since... 332 00:14:49,960 --> 00:14:53,440 ..well, you know, so it's nice to feel useful. 333 00:14:53,440 --> 00:14:55,480 So, bit of a surprise for you. 334 00:14:55,480 --> 00:14:57,760 Whilst you were out getting more Bovril, 335 00:14:57,760 --> 00:15:01,000 I decided to have a fiddle with your smart device 336 00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:03,360 and I've installed something quite special. 337 00:15:03,360 --> 00:15:04,400 Ready? 338 00:15:06,560 --> 00:15:08,560 Kitchen lights on. 339 00:15:08,560 --> 00:15:10,240 Kitchen lights on. 340 00:15:11,640 --> 00:15:12,840 - Kitchen lights... - Oh. 341 00:15:12,840 --> 00:15:14,160 Jesus! Sorry. Oh! 342 00:15:14,160 --> 00:15:16,160 Turn the kitchen lights off. 343 00:15:16,160 --> 00:15:17,200 Argh! 344 00:15:18,320 --> 00:15:19,680 Kitchen lights off. 345 00:15:19,680 --> 00:15:21,280 Playing Lighthouse Fam... 346 00:15:21,280 --> 00:15:22,560 Lights off! 347 00:15:22,560 --> 00:15:23,840 Off! 348 00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:25,360 God... 349 00:15:25,360 --> 00:15:26,400 Oh, God! 350 00:15:26,400 --> 00:15:28,480 Stop! Kitchen lights off! 351 00:15:28,480 --> 00:15:29,560 BZZZT! 352 00:15:28,480 --> 00:15:29,560 Hey! 353 00:15:29,560 --> 00:15:31,600 - Ooh! - I'm sorry, I don't understand. 354 00:15:31,600 --> 00:15:34,080 High by Lighthouse Family 355 00:15:35,240 --> 00:15:36,800 Ruth, I'm so sorry. 356 00:15:37,800 --> 00:15:39,440 You know, don't worry about it. 357 00:15:39,440 --> 00:15:42,240 It-it... It's only much worse than it was before. 358 00:15:44,760 --> 00:15:47,280 - Cheers, Dave. - Oh, God. - Oh, dear. 359 00:15:48,280 --> 00:15:49,360 Never mind. 360 00:15:50,800 --> 00:15:51,840 Oh... 361 00:15:57,080 --> 00:15:58,120 No, thanks. Bye. 362 00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:09,160 DOOR CLOSES 363 00:16:10,400 --> 00:16:12,520 You know, I can't believe Lucas, 364 00:16:12,520 --> 00:16:15,200 mugging me off in my one hour of need. 365 00:16:15,200 --> 00:16:18,600 People just treat me like the scum of the earth 366 00:16:18,600 --> 00:16:21,680 and all I do is give, give, give, give, give. 367 00:16:21,680 --> 00:16:23,040 Can I have my sandwich back? 368 00:16:23,040 --> 00:16:24,320 You... 369 00:16:24,320 --> 00:16:25,640 Chi! 370 00:16:25,640 --> 00:16:28,120 Oh, Dave. How did you know I was here? 371 00:16:28,120 --> 00:16:29,160 Dave intuition. 372 00:16:29,160 --> 00:16:31,000 Oh, and, yeah, Lucas studies here. 373 00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:32,520 - What, you knew that? - Yeah. 374 00:16:32,520 --> 00:16:33,560 You all right, Sean? 375 00:16:33,560 --> 00:16:36,160 Oh, sorry to hear about your high-vis. 376 00:16:36,160 --> 00:16:37,360 People are animals. 377 00:16:37,360 --> 00:16:39,920 - Yeah, well... - Chi, I fucked up. 378 00:16:39,920 --> 00:16:41,480 Right, I was with... 379 00:16:42,520 --> 00:16:43,680 ..a woman. 380 00:16:43,680 --> 00:16:44,800 OK, I'm listening. 381 00:16:44,800 --> 00:16:47,120 Anyway, there was a moment... 382 00:16:47,120 --> 00:16:48,640 Oh, you fingered each other? 383 00:16:48,640 --> 00:16:50,320 - What? No! - Knew it. 384 00:16:50,320 --> 00:16:54,840 It was a split second and it felt really weird, 385 00:16:54,840 --> 00:16:57,600 and all I could think about was how fuming Karen would be. 386 00:16:57,600 --> 00:16:59,200 - Yeah. - You know, I could just hear her now, 387 00:16:59,200 --> 00:17:00,800 "How could you look at another woman?" 388 00:17:00,800 --> 00:17:02,520 "I'm a size eight in most shops." 389 00:17:02,520 --> 00:17:04,280 Exactly. 390 00:17:04,280 --> 00:17:06,160 Anyway, I sort of... 391 00:17:06,160 --> 00:17:07,200 ..pushed her. 392 00:17:07,200 --> 00:17:10,560 - You pushed her? - Yeah, and I can't apologise to her face 393 00:17:10,560 --> 00:17:14,320 cos I'm too embarrassed, so how can I tell her what I mean to say? 394 00:17:15,960 --> 00:17:17,880 What if you didn't need to say it? 395 00:17:17,880 --> 00:17:19,960 - Go on. - Come on. 396 00:17:19,960 --> 00:17:21,360 - Dave, I wouldn't... - Not now, Sean. 397 00:17:21,360 --> 00:17:23,960 Yeah, not now, Sean. I'm sorry about your high-vis. 398 00:17:30,600 --> 00:17:32,800 Is this wrong? 399 00:17:32,800 --> 00:17:34,640 Probably. 400 00:17:34,640 --> 00:17:37,720 So is laughing when old people fall out of cars, but... 401 00:17:37,720 --> 00:17:38,920 ..I still do it. 402 00:17:38,920 --> 00:17:40,720 - Yeah. - Cos it feels good. 403 00:17:40,720 --> 00:17:42,040 It's so true. 404 00:17:43,720 --> 00:17:45,440 - I'm sorry about Chi. - Oh... 405 00:17:45,440 --> 00:17:47,160 She doesn't understand. 406 00:17:47,160 --> 00:17:49,840 Her only relationship was with an ancient crone called Linda 407 00:17:49,840 --> 00:17:51,600 and that ended in disaster. 408 00:17:51,600 --> 00:17:54,120 Hey, look at me. 409 00:17:54,120 --> 00:17:55,200 Look at me. 410 00:17:56,960 --> 00:17:58,360 I don't know what any of that means. 411 00:17:58,360 --> 00:17:59,400 OK. 412 00:18:00,360 --> 00:18:01,400 Hello, lesbians. 413 00:18:01,400 --> 00:18:04,680 Oh, Chi. Erm... Sorry. Lucas and I were just talking about... 414 00:18:04,680 --> 00:18:06,760 - What were we talking about, Lucas? - I don't know! - Fuck... 415 00:18:06,760 --> 00:18:09,600 OK. Relax, OK? 416 00:18:09,600 --> 00:18:11,840 I know exactly what's going on. 417 00:18:11,840 --> 00:18:14,120 About as subtle as a printer. 418 00:18:14,120 --> 00:18:15,880 - Pardon? - Fuck. 419 00:18:16,880 --> 00:18:18,240 I think it's beautiful. 420 00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:21,480 Do you? 421 00:18:21,480 --> 00:18:22,680 Yeah. 422 00:18:22,680 --> 00:18:25,800 You two, going against the grains, 423 00:18:25,800 --> 00:18:28,000 fighting for your love... 424 00:18:28,000 --> 00:18:29,840 ..Cheryl style. 425 00:18:29,840 --> 00:18:32,360 Gosh, do you know... Gosh, here was me thinking you were going to be 426 00:18:32,360 --> 00:18:34,000 a real fucking nightmare about the whole thing! 427 00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:35,120 Yeah! 428 00:18:42,360 --> 00:18:44,200 Other people might not view it like that, though. 429 00:18:44,200 --> 00:18:46,200 - Er... - What do you mean? 430 00:18:46,200 --> 00:18:48,240 SHE SCOFFS 431 00:18:46,200 --> 00:18:48,240 It's not a good look, is it? 432 00:18:49,600 --> 00:18:51,680 Romancing a student as young as him. 433 00:18:52,800 --> 00:18:54,680 You know, Lucas and I are 12 years old. 434 00:18:54,680 --> 00:18:55,960 - What?! - We're not. 435 00:18:57,320 --> 00:19:00,480 Regardless, I don't think the good people of Ramsgate College 436 00:19:00,480 --> 00:19:01,720 would appreciate you crossing over 437 00:19:01,720 --> 00:19:03,920 that student-teacher-patient boundary. 438 00:19:03,920 --> 00:19:05,400 What do you want from me, Chi? 439 00:19:09,600 --> 00:19:11,240 {\an8}No, seriously, what do you want from me? 440 00:19:11,240 --> 00:19:12,400 Cos I... 441 00:19:12,400 --> 00:19:13,960 I want you to warm up your fingers. 442 00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:16,360 SHE SIGHS 443 00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:16,360 Do you know what? 444 00:19:16,360 --> 00:19:19,240 I'm actually relieved that I had the idea of learning to touch-type. 445 00:19:19,240 --> 00:19:21,680 - What? - So you're Lucas's dad? 446 00:19:21,680 --> 00:19:23,360 Yeah, big time. 447 00:19:23,360 --> 00:19:24,920 So you're his teacher? 448 00:19:24,920 --> 00:19:25,960 He's a good boy. 449 00:19:25,960 --> 00:19:28,320 Well, you'd tell me if he was a bad boy, wouldn't you? 450 00:19:29,320 --> 00:19:30,520 Yeah. 451 00:19:30,520 --> 00:19:32,440 So, sorry, you know any of you could do this? 452 00:19:32,440 --> 00:19:35,000 Ugh, I swear to God, Perry, say another word. 453 00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:37,560 Fine. I'll do it for Lucas, 454 00:19:37,560 --> 00:19:40,360 but not for...whatever she is. 455 00:19:40,360 --> 00:19:41,400 Phone. 456 00:19:43,520 --> 00:19:45,400 Thank you. 457 00:19:45,400 --> 00:19:47,120 Er... 458 00:19:47,120 --> 00:19:49,720 - There. - We're in. 459 00:19:49,720 --> 00:19:51,400 Are you sure this is the right thing, Chi? 460 00:19:51,400 --> 00:19:52,800 Yes, Dave, all right? 461 00:19:52,800 --> 00:19:55,640 I know what it's like to feel pushed aside by the people that you love. 462 00:19:55,640 --> 00:19:56,680 Oh, leave off. 463 00:19:56,680 --> 00:19:58,520 If you truly want to make it right with this woman, 464 00:19:58,520 --> 00:19:59,720 then this is the only way. 465 00:19:59,720 --> 00:20:00,800 That can't be true. 466 00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:01,880 Do you like this job, Perry? 467 00:20:01,880 --> 00:20:03,240 - Jesus. - Yeah, that's what I thought. 468 00:20:03,240 --> 00:20:04,560 What are we going to say? 469 00:20:04,560 --> 00:20:06,600 You just need to try and capture her attention. 470 00:20:07,680 --> 00:20:08,760 Say you've got a bomb. 471 00:20:08,760 --> 00:20:09,800 No. 472 00:20:09,800 --> 00:20:10,920 I actually love that. 473 00:20:10,920 --> 00:20:14,040 - Yeah, but it's got to be kind of apologetic and respectful. - Hm. 474 00:20:17,720 --> 00:20:20,920 He just spends his evenings on the iPad, 475 00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:24,040 scrolling my sister's Facebook. 476 00:20:24,040 --> 00:20:25,080 Mm... 477 00:20:25,080 --> 00:20:27,440 ..and he keeps commenting "phwoar"... 478 00:20:27,440 --> 00:20:29,040 PIPPA SOBS 479 00:20:29,040 --> 00:20:32,400 ..on her WeightWatchers progress photos. 480 00:20:32,400 --> 00:20:35,440 Sorry, how much weight did you say she'd lost? 481 00:20:35,440 --> 00:20:36,480 What? 482 00:20:36,480 --> 00:20:39,560 Text from Dave - Weird Girl's Uncle. 483 00:20:39,560 --> 00:20:41,840 - Hello, I've got a bomb. Yes, a bomb. - Huh? 484 00:20:41,840 --> 00:20:44,720 Joking about the bomb. I hope that got your attention. 485 00:20:44,720 --> 00:20:45,760 Just give me a sec. 486 00:20:45,760 --> 00:20:47,840 Please don't be mad at me for pushing your face. 487 00:20:47,840 --> 00:20:49,880 - What? I didn't want to push her face. - Let's just turn that off. 488 00:20:49,880 --> 00:20:50,960 It was an accident. 489 00:20:50,960 --> 00:20:52,240 How do you push someone's face by accident? 490 00:20:52,240 --> 00:20:53,320 Will you just shut up, nonce? 491 00:20:53,320 --> 00:20:54,360 Shut up, nonce. 492 00:20:54,360 --> 00:20:55,640 He's not a nonce. 493 00:20:55,640 --> 00:20:56,800 He is a nonce. 494 00:20:56,800 --> 00:20:58,960 Everyone's talking at once. I'm typing all the wrong things. 495 00:20:58,960 --> 00:21:00,280 She's not responding. 496 00:21:00,280 --> 00:21:01,880 Because we need to go harder, that's why. 497 00:21:01,880 --> 00:21:03,400 Yeah, OK, so, er... 498 00:21:03,400 --> 00:21:06,000 Text from Dave - Weird Girl's Uncle. 499 00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:08,800 When I think of my behaviour, I feel sick to my stomach 500 00:21:08,800 --> 00:21:11,480 and I want to bash myself up the sides of my own legs with... 501 00:21:11,480 --> 00:21:14,120 ..sides of your legs with an industrial stapler. 502 00:21:14,120 --> 00:21:16,320 - ..an industrial stapler and keep on bash... - Ugh! 503 00:21:16,320 --> 00:21:18,200 Are you sure this is the right approach? 504 00:21:18,200 --> 00:21:20,600 Oh, Dave, do you want her to forgive you? 505 00:21:20,600 --> 00:21:23,080 - Well, yes. - Then you need to make her feel special. 506 00:21:23,080 --> 00:21:24,320 In, like, a feminist way. 507 00:21:24,320 --> 00:21:26,240 Mm-hm. I've got it. 508 00:21:26,240 --> 00:21:28,200 Text from Dave - Weird Girl's Uncle. 509 00:21:28,200 --> 00:21:29,280 Bloody thing! 510 00:21:29,280 --> 00:21:32,800 - Yes! - I have one more important thing I have to say. - Oh... 511 00:21:32,800 --> 00:21:34,000 - She's really fit... - Yep. 512 00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:35,520 - ..and that you're going to punch her. - No! - No, sorry, 513 00:21:35,520 --> 00:21:37,320 I'm not writing that. I don't even know why I'm doing this. 514 00:21:37,320 --> 00:21:39,560 - You can all type. - But not as well as you. 515 00:21:39,560 --> 00:21:41,120 Annoyingly, he's right. 516 00:21:42,720 --> 00:21:43,800 I'll do it. 517 00:21:46,600 --> 00:21:48,160 Yeah... I-I'll do it. 518 00:21:48,160 --> 00:21:50,160 - I'll do it. - Oh, God, yeah. Sorry. 519 00:21:50,160 --> 00:21:51,440 Yeah, perfect. 520 00:21:53,400 --> 00:21:55,520 - I just need to, er... - The truth is I think you are a beautiful 521 00:21:55,520 --> 00:21:58,000 tiny woman with a massive brain and a body so tight you could 522 00:21:58,000 --> 00:21:59,240 bounce a parsnip off of it. 523 00:21:59,240 --> 00:22:01,240 And the reason I've not been honest about my feelings... 524 00:22:01,240 --> 00:22:02,560 And the reason I have not been... 525 00:22:02,560 --> 00:22:04,520 - Dealings. - ..honest about my dealings... 526 00:22:04,520 --> 00:22:05,600 Feelings. Fuck... 527 00:22:05,600 --> 00:22:07,000 ..dealings fuck sake feelings. 528 00:22:07,000 --> 00:22:08,280 Yeah, I've got it, OK. 529 00:22:08,280 --> 00:22:09,720 Because I don't know how... 530 00:22:09,720 --> 00:22:13,040 I don't know how to tell you what a hairy genius slut you are. 531 00:22:13,040 --> 00:22:14,120 Not a slut. 532 00:22:14,120 --> 00:22:17,360 Also, sometimes when people treat their loved ones with disrespect, 533 00:22:17,360 --> 00:22:19,400 it's because they are too scared to be honest and I... 534 00:22:19,400 --> 00:22:21,800 ..never kept a secret from you. It was bang out of order and... 535 00:22:21,800 --> 00:22:24,400 ..and you are the best cousin I've ever had. 536 00:22:24,400 --> 00:22:26,280 - I'm sorry. - I'm sorry as well. 537 00:22:26,280 --> 00:22:28,000 Now, that is the most 538 00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:31,440 beautifulest fucking thing I've ever read. 539 00:22:31,440 --> 00:22:32,480 "Cousin"? 540 00:22:33,880 --> 00:22:35,160 What's he talking about? 541 00:22:35,160 --> 00:22:36,560 Oh... I don't know. 542 00:22:37,720 --> 00:22:40,120 - Yes! - I did it! - High five! 543 00:22:40,120 --> 00:22:43,320 We did it! We did it! 544 00:22:43,320 --> 00:22:44,960 LAUGHTER 545 00:22:51,560 --> 00:22:52,920 It doesn't sound right. 546 00:23:02,480 --> 00:23:03,760 No, that's really brilliant, actually. 547 00:23:03,760 --> 00:23:05,400 - That's really made my day, actually, yeah. - Shall we go? 548 00:23:05,400 --> 00:23:07,000 - She's really going to love that. - Yeah. 549 00:23:07,000 --> 00:23:08,880 Oh, my God. That was mental. 550 00:23:08,880 --> 00:23:10,640 My fingers are, like, cramped to fuck. 551 00:23:11,760 --> 00:23:13,760 - You were amazing. - Aww, thanks. 552 00:23:14,760 --> 00:23:16,880 Did you want to do a trust fall with me tonight 553 00:23:16,880 --> 00:23:18,760 so I can tick it off my list? 554 00:23:18,760 --> 00:23:20,000 I can't. I'm, er... 555 00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:22,440 Well, me and Perry are doing something quite exciting. 556 00:23:24,960 --> 00:23:26,040 You don't need to brag. 557 00:23:27,400 --> 00:23:30,360 Yeah, I think I should apologise to her. 558 00:23:30,360 --> 00:23:34,760 It's probably, in retrospect, really disturbing to receive those texts. 559 00:23:34,760 --> 00:23:36,880 Yeah. I can't imagine why. 560 00:23:36,880 --> 00:23:37,920 Yeah. 561 00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:44,040 All right. Try and be care... 562 00:23:44,040 --> 00:23:45,080 Fuck, you twat. 563 00:23:46,800 --> 00:23:48,200 BZZZT! 564 00:23:48,200 --> 00:23:49,240 DOORBELL RINGS 565 00:23:52,280 --> 00:23:55,600 - All right, Dave? - Ruth, about those texts. 566 00:23:55,600 --> 00:23:57,240 I was just trying to apologise 567 00:23:57,240 --> 00:24:00,080 for pushing you by the face like you were an untrained dog, 568 00:24:00,080 --> 00:24:02,040 but things just got out of control. 569 00:24:02,040 --> 00:24:05,240 I will one-inch punch myself if it makes you feel any better. 570 00:24:05,240 --> 00:24:06,880 Sorry, what texts? 571 00:24:06,880 --> 00:24:08,120 Did you not get them? 572 00:24:08,120 --> 00:24:09,560 I... No... 573 00:24:09,560 --> 00:24:11,840 My phone's been playing up all day. 574 00:24:11,840 --> 00:24:15,280 I think, actually, it might have gotten wet when you fucked my sink. 575 00:24:15,280 --> 00:24:16,760 Oh, my God. Fantastic. 576 00:24:16,760 --> 00:24:18,200 OK. Bye, Dave. 577 00:24:19,960 --> 00:24:23,280 # You know it feels unfair 578 00:24:25,560 --> 00:24:28,560 # There's magic everywhere 579 00:24:32,640 --> 00:24:36,080 # Look at me, standing 580 00:24:37,200 --> 00:24:39,760 # Here on my own again 581 00:24:41,400 --> 00:24:48,160 # Up straight in the sunshine 582 00:24:48,160 --> 00:24:50,400 # No need to run 583 00:24:51,480 --> 00:24:53,040 # And hide 584 00:24:53,040 --> 00:24:55,280 # It's a wonderful... # 585 00:24:55,280 --> 00:24:56,320 All right? 586 00:24:56,320 --> 00:24:57,920 - So nervous. - Aww. 587 00:24:59,120 --> 00:25:01,080 Don't worry. Mum's going to love you. 588 00:25:01,080 --> 00:25:02,640 - Yeah. - Is he here? 589 00:25:04,560 --> 00:25:06,400 Aunt... Aunt Claudia... 590 00:25:07,520 --> 00:25:10,440 What? Aunt Claudia... OK... 591 00:25:10,440 --> 00:25:12,040 Sorry, what? 592 00:25:12,040 --> 00:25:14,280 S-so...we-we're cousins. 593 00:25:14,280 --> 00:25:16,400 - So, erm... - Yeah, we're cousins. 594 00:25:16,400 --> 00:25:17,440 Oh, God. 595 00:25:18,720 --> 00:25:19,840 And we did... 596 00:25:19,840 --> 00:25:22,360 - I don't want to think about what we did. - Which she now knows. 597 00:25:22,360 --> 00:25:24,400 Oh, God. I'm... I'm going to be sick. 598 00:25:24,400 --> 00:25:27,120 - How does this gate work? - Open the gate. - How does the gate work?! 599 00:25:27,120 --> 00:25:28,720 Why is the latch down? OK, so... 600 00:25:30,560 --> 00:25:31,880 Thank you, babe. 601 00:25:31,880 --> 00:25:33,720 - No. Sorry. - No! No! - Oh, God! 602 00:25:33,720 --> 00:25:35,600 - Sorry. - Perry, in, in! - Sorry, sorry. That's mental. 603 00:25:35,600 --> 00:25:37,520 - In! Get in! - Sorry. I'm coming. 604 00:25:37,520 --> 00:25:39,440 And I'll see you...somewhere. Fuck's sake! 605 00:25:39,440 --> 00:25:41,800 God! No, you will not see him. 606 00:25:41,800 --> 00:25:44,000 - Mum! - Oh, my God! 607 00:25:46,840 --> 00:25:48,040 - You all right? - Oh, you came. 608 00:25:48,040 --> 00:25:50,320 - Yeah, wouldn't miss it for the world. - Nice. 609 00:25:51,760 --> 00:25:53,000 Let's get you up. 610 00:25:54,760 --> 00:25:56,520 THEY GROAN 611 00:25:54,760 --> 00:25:56,520 Oh, sorry. 612 00:25:58,880 --> 00:26:01,120 - I love you and I trust you. - I love you and I trust you. 613 00:26:02,960 --> 00:26:04,560 So how'd it go with Perry in the end? 614 00:26:04,560 --> 00:26:06,760 Yeah, it didn't really work out in the end. 615 00:26:06,760 --> 00:26:08,320 Oh, that's a shame. 616 00:26:08,320 --> 00:26:09,920 I was really starting to like him. 617 00:26:09,920 --> 00:26:11,400 Yeah. 618 00:26:11,400 --> 00:26:12,720 THUD! 619 00:26:12,720 --> 00:26:15,160 SHE WHIMPERS 620 00:26:15,160 --> 00:26:16,200 Help... 621 00:26:17,920 --> 00:26:19,240 Fingercise. 622 00:26:19,240 --> 00:26:20,680 Boom, Boom, Boom, Boom!! by Vengaboys 623 00:26:20,680 --> 00:26:22,240 One - bend. 624 00:26:22,240 --> 00:26:23,640 Beeeend. 625 00:26:23,640 --> 00:26:25,600 Two - wiggle. 626 00:26:25,600 --> 00:26:27,200 Wiggle! 627 00:26:27,200 --> 00:26:30,960 Three - pressssss. 628 00:26:34,240 --> 00:26:37,160 Bend. Wiggle. Press. 629 00:26:39,120 --> 00:26:41,280 - Bend. Wiggle. - Wiggle. 630 00:26:41,280 --> 00:26:42,320 Press. 631 00:26:43,520 --> 00:26:46,000 Bend. Wiggle. Press. 632 00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:47,400 Press. Pressssss. 633 00:26:47,400 --> 00:26:49,040 Fingercise. 45501

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